¶ Is Marriage Overrated and Why?
the next week . I'm going to go ahead and get started . Here's a question for you Is marriage overrated ?
Why aren't people getting married anymore ? A new Pew Research poll found that two and five young adults think marriage is an outdated tradition . Marriage rates are at their lowest right now . Is marriage really even worth it ? More than half of marriages and half of marriages are not married , so that's why it's declining .
Why would you get married if you ?
don't if you want to have just one partner when you can have multiple .
Marriage is stupid .
Welcome to the married podcast , the self proclaimed greatest marriage relationship podcast in the world . We are your host , matthew and Monica Powers , and back for another episode , as we took a week off last week because last week was just that's , of course , a lot of people who are married .
As much as we enjoy doing this , and we believe that it's helping some people out here and there , sometimes you just got to sit down and breathe . Sometimes you just got to sit down and relax , lay on the couch , watch TV , spend that quality time with your spouse .
That's exactly what I did on Sunday , instead of doing all of the millions of things , but I'm just going to say that I didn't want to get too much attention . I just wanted to take a break from the conversation and just be happy with it . I just wanted to start with a little bit of light . P M yeah , you were gone for like 15 hours on Saturday .
Sunday we had Church , had a meeting at Church and when we were all said and done , it was like we recorded a podcast today , like you know what we're not . So for anyone who was kind of reliant on that and like you know , do you want to start off ? Well , it comes out on Tuesday , so not technically .
I mean , you know , if your week starts Tuesday , sure , why not ?
But I you know , probably probably not the case .
That it came out on Tuesday .
I know you don't have a clue . No , I'm just looking at the website and I didn't know that there were other things than just the main page .
Yeah , look , I've been busy . I've been busy , I've been trying to do some things .
Listen , you're just .
You're just a pretty face that shows up . Yeah , it's not that pretty and as always , but hopefully people will get some good . You know , we've heard some decent feedback from people that maybe this is actually working , that it does help people out . Maybe just a little bit , not much , but if we think that nobody is listening , ever you're proved wrong .
Right , well , I was at a softball game . After the game , walking to the car , someone stopped and said that they listened to our podcast and they loved it , and I had no idea who they were .
Look at that .
Oh great .
Changing lives all over the world . Ever since , ever since you really really talk negatively about our hometown Kalira , how they don't support us one bit . It's all these other people do Listen . People are saying , hey , we better let let her know that , hey , we're actually listening to this thing .
We were not in Kalira .
We'll go pick it there . It is so fine .
Kalira Step it up .
You gotta do better . You've got to do better . So we're gonna talk about some jealousy stuff today , which is always a whole lot of fun in your marriage because you know , if you're listening to this , you've never experienced jealousy . I'm sure it never actually happens , but I think everyone experiences jealousy here and there , so we'll talk through that .
I've got a couple examples a couple maybe stories and questions from people from the interwebs about jealousy and things that they're experiencing . But we got to start out with the Gen Z Bible .
All right , what you got today .
¶ Issue of Blood
The woman with the issue of blood in Luke chapter eight .
Let's hear it .
But from really the viewpoint of the person who gets lost in this story , jairus , the synagogue leader , his , his daughters . She's dying , she goes to Jesus , or he goes to Jesus and Jesus like , all right , let's go heal the daughter , but gets distracted by the woman of the issue of blood . Now , if I'm Jairus in this , situation . I'm furious .
Because he's not , she's not , your daughter's not the priority .
Exactly Like Jesus , I showed up to you first this , this woman , with the issue of blood . You know , you just moseying your way here , just taking your sweet old time . Put some pep in your step , jesus . Why are we not moving faster ? Why didn't you call down the helicopter to get here faster ?
But I could understand he would have been jealous , he would have been upset , like why . I asked you first what's the deal ? What gives ? So here it is , luke , chapter eight , and we will start in verse 41 . Oh , check it out . There was this dude named Jairus , a big shot at the synagogue .
He straight up fell down at Jesus' feet begging him to come to his house . See , jairus had a daughter who was like 12 and on her deathbed . But as Jesus was on his way , people started crowding around him like crazy .
So there was this woman , right , she's been dealing with this bloody problem for 12 freaking years and she's literally spent all her money on doctors and none of them could help her out . Man . But then she sneaks up behind Jesus and touches the edge of his clothes and boom , her bleeding stops right away , just like that . And Jesus was like yo who touched me .
Everybody's like nah , man , nobody did but Peter and the crew are like come on , dude . The whole crowd was jostling you , how can you tell ? And Jesus is like nah , somebody definitely touched me . I felt the power leaving me . So the woman sees that she can't hide anymore and she's trembling like crazy .
She falls down in front of Jesus and spills the beans to everyone , explaining why she touched him and how she got healed in a snap . And Jesus is like chill , girl , your faith has made you completely better . Go in peace .
While Jesus is talking , this messenger comes up , comes from the ruler of the synagogue , scribin says dude , your daughter is dead , don't bother the master anymore . But Jesus hears this and tells the messenger don't be scared , bro , just have faith in . Your daughter will totally be healed .
When Jesus gets to the house , he doesn't let anyone inside except Peter , james and John and the girl's dad and her mom . Everyone is crying in mourning . But Jesus tells them don't cry , peeps , she's not dead , she's just sleeping . And the people start laughing at him because they know for sure that she's dead .
So Jesus kicks everyone out , takes the girl's hand and calls out to her hey , girl , get up . And bam , her spirit comes back and she gets that right away . Jesus tells them to give her some food because girls got to eat .
You know the parents are freaking , amazed , but Jesus tells everyone to keep it on the down low and not blab to anyone about what went down here .
That's fantastic .
It is fantastic .
My only question Do you think Jesus really said no ?
Probably not , probably not .
No .
But I mean , you look at Jesus and you read about and you learn about who he is . Jesus had a sense of humor . I mean all right , I mean Jesus , cool dude , straight up cool dude .
I bet it was more of a dry sense of humor .
I could see him being extremely dry .
Like I feel like he is the one who invented sarcasm .
I could see that , I could totally see that .
What's wrong with you ?
Because , yeah , I feel like you know , when you have those conversations with God and you're praying , and whenever he does , you get that overwhelming feeling of like , hey , he's trying to tell you something .
A lot of the time it's really dry and sarcastic sometimes , at least for me , and I mean he is just straight forward in a lot of the things that he's like powers you , you're so stupid , okay , you're so dumb . How ?
did you not see they coming ?
I mean , yeah , I've only been telling you this for what ? Two years . I mean , listen to me already , man . But what a story out of the Gen Z Bible . Great story in the Bible Jairus had to be furious , but if that doesn't read like current day culture , it's fantastic . I don't know what does , and you know .
Like watching or reading a reality show .
And people may hate the Gen Z Bible Cause . Oh well , that's not and it's not an official translation of it . Of course not . I get it .
You really think they said freaking ?
The biggest thing of it that I love so much is like , when you've had this around and people see it , it gets people talking about Jesus . At the end of the day , that's all that matters . And people are reading it like this is hilarious . I can't believe it .
I understand everything that's going on here , but then they begin to really start to ask questions and then that's when you can get into real faith conversations . So everyone who hates the Gen Z Bible listen . It's a conversation starter and that's all that really , really matters .
You know people that hate it .
Of course people are gonna hate it . You can well , that's not the real Bible . You can . No , you can't make everybody happy .
People get mad at things all the time . Why are they not getting mad about other versions of the Bible ?
I'm sure they do . People get mad about everything .
I mean , I feel like the message is nowhere near what my version that I read comes close to .
Well , I've got , yeah , both the NLT and the NIV and they're similar in some ways , but not in all ways .
All the words are there , but but I'm able to understand it . Exactly .
You give me like that old school King James version , it's rough . I'm struggling through that .
The thou though ye .
Yeah , all of that stuff . I feel like ye is almost closer than the things we're talking about now . But Jairus had every sense to be mad and jealous and furious because he wasn't paid attention to , and I think that's where a lot of jealousy can stem from . Even in the marriage you're not being paid attention to . So I got , I got . I got some stories .
I got , I got some some stories , some questions , some this and that . So here's one for you . Oh boy , this is a woman , she's talking and she's asking this question , and these were just pulled from from the interwebs , not directly to us , but Wait , she's asking . She's asking about this .
Am I wrong for walking up the stairs in front of a maintenance worker ? Huh , I got . Is she naked ? No , I was not naked . Okay , just hear us out here . I got into a fight with the hubby . He felt like he was disrespected and I should have put on a robe .
While I see okay , maybe I could have done something different I can't help but to be angry that I was made to feel wrong and nasty for what I did Already going through something mentally . So honestly , it threw me off . Number one it was yoga pants .
I kind of rushed back up the stairs and he entered and walked up right after me and , going further , should I not wear yoga pants ? Should I just let my husband go through my clothes to tell me what to wear all the times ?
Perhaps another man might look at me Also , to be noted , I have never done anything to make him think I would even entertain another man . He does think I'm too nice and let people say whatever they want and walk all over me . Please tell me , I'm not crazy for feeling like whoa . I can't control other people . Bam , I feel like she's dead on .
I think husband's got some insecurity issues on his own .
Done Majorly what I was going to say , because your first thought is like I mean , what's the problem ?
Did she walk up the stairs naked Right ? Did she bend over all , just showing it all in front of this maintenance worker ?
Was she dressed like she's going to the club and not wearing any panties ?
Yeah , from my understanding , yoga pants , probably a t-shirt , that's it , just stuff like you're wearing today Literally what I'm wearing right now . Yes , I see no issue with it whatsoever . Again , we don't know the full story , exactly what it looks like , but if I'm seeing it , it's yoga pants and a t-shirt . Come on man .
Maybe if it's yoga pants and just a sports bra Girl . Yeah , put on something .
Throw on a shirt , maybe , but even then I mean for this story she was at home . Maintenance man came , maybe , opened the door , ran upstairs and he just what's the big deal ? What's the big deal ? To her point , she's never done anything to make you question anything . She's never done anything that's maybe outside of the confines of the marriage .
So what happened ? Why now ? Why is this ?
guy . Why now is this guy questioning what she didn't even , shouldn't even have to think about in her own home ?
Exactly . My thought is and I'm just guessing here because we don't know these people he's got some deep down insecurity issues .
But why now ?
Maybe over the last who knows how long he's let himself go a little bit . Maybe he's not as attentive to her , maybe he's more focused on other things .
Or .
Oh , you may be going where I'm going here . Go ahead .
He saw her . Did he see her go up the stairs ?
It doesn't say I wouldn't think so . She probably just told him and then who knows ?
Well , my thought is , if he saw this happen , maybe she just ran on by her not thinking anything about it . But the maintenance guy , who's maybe a horrible pervert , goes dang girl , we're in the space pants , why , if he got attention that he didn't like , that could be .
¶ [Ad] The Brief
That could be .
Because somebody paid her attention . He's like oh no , you can't do that anymore . Blah , blah , blah . Might , house my rules , Bring me beer . That's stupid , things like that .
And he may . My thought was , maybe he's done something that he's not proud of , that she doesn't know about , and now his mind is spiraling out of control because some maintenance guy gave her attention that maybe she doesn't necessarily seek . Maybe you recognize that she hasn't seen that out of you .
I don't know what it is , but no , poor wife , poor wife , realistically poor wife . So in that situation is it's so silly and it's so dumb ,
¶ (Cont.) Issue of Blood
but if that is a red , I guarantee that's an issue for people who hear this .
No doubt that people have experienced that that my wife can't wear this and she can't wear that , and yes , she doesn't need to be out with her , her butt hanging out everywhere , showing her boobs all over the place or anything crazy like that out in public , by no means , but yoga pants and a T shirt or this or that .
What's the understand , the root cause of what's caused , cause of this jealousy and this insecurity ? What ? What caused it Is it ? Is it some sort of fear ? Have have situations possibly changed ? Have you experienced something ? Is it something from your past , something from a previous relationship , something from a childhood ? What is causing that root cause ?
Or the maintenance guy was ripped like Jesus and was just gorgeous , but she obviously didn't pay attention to it . She was already wearing those clothes and just walked by him .
That could be it too . Maybe the maintenance man is like the rock and just chiseled and you know being walked by him with space pants on being like the brawny man and he has to take his shirt off because he's working and he's sweaty and who knows what the situation is . I don't know , but what's the root cause ? What's what's causing that ?
Yeah , I think a lot of it's probably past hurts , past relationships .
Or you're guilty of something you just did or you're guilty . It's just not coming to you .
But I bet a lot of it is the past . Well , you know , I had this girlfriend one time and she did this and she wore this and sure enough , she cheated on me with the plumber and then , bam , it's all over with no man's really mad . Yeah , exactly Something stupid like that , and maybe , maybe that's that's where it's coming from .
And when it is to the past experiences , you got to let it go . It could be like Elsa Just let it go , because this current relationship ain't your past relationship . She's not the one who did to you Whatever that past person did , or vice versa with him . You've got to let it go . You've got to forgive .
You got to forgive that past relation Like your current relationship . Forgive that past relationship , that past person who hurt you so badly . You got to forgive them . Otherwise , you're going to continue to hold on to all of this nonsense . It's clearly affecting your current current relationship .
It's going to affect every single relationship , no matter what .
And so much of it just boils down to the overall insecurities that people have . So this next one , mostly with insecurities how do you deal with jealousy in your marriage ?
I'm a wife , I'm in my mid thirties , and whenever my , whenever my husband and I are watching a movie with a sex scene or nudity , or whenever I know he's seen nudity or watch something very sexual online we'll get back to that in a second I feel a sharp pain of jealousy . It's not that I'm worried . My husband will leave me for another woman .
Our marriage is very strong and amazing , yet still the jealousy is there , because I know he's feeling turned on by another attractive woman . It's the knowledge of another woman is making him feel good that makes me jealous .
I always bury the jealousy and try to forget about it when these things happen , but is there another method I could try so that the sharp feeling of jealousy doesn't sting or hurt as much as it does ?
So before I say anything about answering the question yes , if this is the way you are feeling , you cannot say that you have a strong marriage .
I would agree .
That's not a strong marriage . You have your own insecurities deep insecurity , deep . If you have any type of insecurity and you cannot say this to your husband , that's not a strong marriage .
Well , and here's my question in this situation , is the knowledge of another woman is making him feel good ? That makes me jealous . How exactly do you know that it's that situation , that that's that scene , that it's
¶ Dealing With Jealousy in Marriage
that what he's watching on to this , that woman that is making him feel good ? Have has he expressed that to you like , oh my gosh , she is so hot , oh my gosh , she does that for me . Oh , can we watch this scene in this movie , because I know so and so gets naked here and I really . Has that been expressed ?
If so , that's , that's a whole another conversation , it's a different question Whole different conversation , but in this situation , is you got to talk about it ? How do you get rid of the jealousy ? Stop , stop doing it . Assuming one stop assuming .
But if it's still that bad , and if it is the case , if you have the conversation with your husband and he says , oh , absolutely , it is this actress or this person .
If it's the same person , every single movie that you're watching it's like yes , she turns me on yes . Stop watching those movies .
Exactly . Or here's the . Here was the kicker , Whenever I know he's seen nudity or watch something sexual online . Pornography kills . Pornography kills the relationship , kills the marriage , kills yourself . Man , you are just so deep into something that is not benefiting you whatsoever .
And if she knows that , hey , this is what's going on , she knows that this is happening . It is just absolutely deadly to to what is happening and what is going on in the marriage . It's just not something that can be be done .
Porn is not reality . No , no , it's not it's .
It's the fakest of all fake . It's extreme , it's crazy , it is .
They are actors . They're using parts that they shouldn't .
Yes , it's painful .
It's horrible the things that they are all going through to do this in their own way , to do this , and they're all doing this because they they are in extreme need of some money . Well they also got some issues that they got to work out . It's not like they're addicted to doing porn .
No , it is extreme issues for money is definitely yes . I think even further . It is a deep void of feeling validated and who they are and they're just not getting attention from other people that they would never get , and it's a quick fix on happiness .
It is , and I haven't done the research , I don't know , but I would be willing to bet that you ask anyone who has been in porn previously and is not in it anymore , and probably even people who are currently in it Talk about how much , how awful it is , how much they hate it , how much it has destroyed themselves , relationships , marriages , but relationships with
their family , their parents , their friends , all of it . So that's a if you know that's going on and you're OK with it , if your spouse is watching porn and you're OK with it , mean you all need to have .
You'll need to have a conversation about that because it's OK with them watching porn , then you should be OK with him going out and having sex with other people .
Almost yeah . Is essentially , there's no different , but it'll lead to other things , but that's one thing that really stuck out here is you're so jealous by what he made that an attractive woman may have made him feel , but yet you're allowing him to watch that type of stuff .
But here's another thing . Can you tell me that she's not attracted to another actor that walks on the screen when he takes off his shirt ? Or you see his butt .
Another point . You're exactly right . I mean , let's just be real here . There are other attractive people on the planet .
And it's OK to know that they're attractive .
Absolutely . It's OK to know that they're attractive . There are other extremely good looking people on the planet . They're extremely good looking people that we're going to put our eyes on it and we're going to see in passing or on TV or on out in public .
Whatever it may be , it's going to happen and you may even acknowledge in your brain like , oh my gosh , that's it , though that's not the one that just does it in my brain .
I straight up go oh my god , she is absolutely gorgeous .
Yeah , you will . You most certainly will . I know that's OK , those people exist .
But but being secure enough in your relationship , being secure enough in your marriage to talk about that because we've talked about it , like , oh my gosh , she's beautiful , oh my gosh , she is so good looking , or something we can acknowledge it , we can move on because we know , even if it is someone we see at the grocery store , for whatever reason , it's not
like you're going to sneak away and try to do anything with that person . We know that because we've had those conversations , we've talked about it . That's so important Bottom line on everything that we ever do , everything we ever talk about every problem that's ever had . Communication is the biggest key of it all man just talk about it .
So , when it comes to this issue and the jealousy man talk about it , what do you do ? I mean , this is a challenge that you have . This is a problem that you've acknowledged . You see that this is a cause for significant insecurity and jealousy in your marriage . So what do you do ? You talk about it , you address it . It's that big of a deal .
Remove it from everything that you're doing .
You know what's funny . You say that and it sparked a thought you know people talk about and then put all the women , their spouses birthday on social media .
Yes , they have to blast it .
Oh , this person is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me . They're my best friend . Blah blah , blah , blah , blah , blah , blah , blah , blah . If you're putting that out there for the world to see . But you're living this life of . Oh my God , I hope he doesn't watch this video . But you just said he was your best friend .
You're gonna submit questions to a podcast to people you don't even know , but you're not gonna go to your best friend and ask them questions Not your girl best friend , your husband .
And not even necessarily asking questions , but just saying like , hey , baby , I'm feeling this . Whether this is right or wrong , this is what this is making me feel like , and I hate that . It makes me feel that way . And if they're truly your partner and they're truly there for you , they will say oh my gosh , I had no idea , I'm so sorry .
What do you need from me ? You'll have that conversation about it and you're right , you can't . And that's the sad thing about social media . It's usually one thing on one side , but a reality over here . You know blasting and telling the world how much you love your spouse , and everything on social media .
There is nothing wrong with that and that could be good and that could be celebrated . But , dad gum , you better be living this exact same thing at home . It better those better be two mirror images of each other , that what you say here on social media better be what's really happening in reality .
Because we know , based off social media , most of that's not the case . You know we see pictures of people . It took two hours to take the picture , took an hour to get the lighting right , took another two hours to edit it all to post a picture woke up like this ha ha ha ha . Have a great day .
Yeah , john 316 , and add that on there too , and that's what we do , so we got to be able to talk through what that looks like . I've got one more for us here . How do I stop being so jealous so I don't kill my marriage ? Husband and wife , 28 and 29 years old they're high school sweethearts .
We can feel that I cannot stop being jealous of his female coworker . I'm embarrassed and I'm ashamed about it . He's never cheated on me , but has a history of lying about things that are significant but aren't a big deal to him , or he doesn't tell me to avoid a fight .
So basically , he's the manager of nursing home and has a rehab therapist who comes to his building 10 to 15 hours a week . She's averagely pretty , married with the baby , makes good money and seems to come from a much better family than I did . So okay . What triggered the obsessive jealousy for me was a few things .
He said that I would probably be good friends with her . He hung up on me when she walked into the room . Once she has texted him two selfies with her and the baby . He lied about a conversation he had with her and he said he had a conversation with someone else . He admitted to it because he didn't want to get me upset . He has a long time with her .
He has said she's attractive . I have a fairly traumatic childhood so I know why I get these feelings , but I don't know how to turn it off . I'm in therapy but it's not helping with this a lot . I'm constantly wondering if she's there and if they are talking about anything other than work .
I worry he's admiring her , confiding her , laughing together , flirting , building close relationship , et cetera . There are so many things . He thinks that's okay , but a huge boundary crosser for me . I stay at home , mom , and my self esteem is obviously low and isn't the best .
She's growing her career , making good money and getting my husband while I'm home trying to survive constant chaos . I would say I'm pretty and I'm fit , but I don't know if I am compared to her . We've talked about the subjects to the ground and I hurt him every time I bring it up .
I just want to get over it without eating me alive with anxiety and worry . How do I get past this and just be happy and confident in our relationship ?
That was a lot .
That's a lot to take in .
It's a her problem . Yes , I understand that he's lied , but she had to . How much did she have to go at him to find out he lied about a conversation he had with her ? He's probably protecting you because he knows how jealous you are for no reason .
That's like me getting jealous because you have a cute girl that works at your office , or like you getting jealous of teachers that I work with , and there's been some weird things that happened with some of these teachers .
I'll laugh it off .
I think it's hilarious . It is I'm like oh my god , this is so annoying .
It is .
Why are they still over here talking to me ? I can't be a meaner , I can't be more blunt and say wow , I'm old enough to be your mom .
Some people are into that type of thing , just saying .
But like the texting thing , is it about work . Are they friends outside of work .
The texting thing , like for me . Yes , I have get text messages from the people you know , from females , every now and again , from work or from church , and it's always a quick , one question , simple answer . They're not long drawn out conversations .
No , unless it's a hey . I'm doing this for Monica , can you ? Help me with that Blah blah , blah , blah , blah , blah , and then you get into it .
And then that's it . But they're always just hey , I have a question about this , here's the question we answer Okay , I understand , done , and the conversation ends , it's over , and then next time something pops up , sure thing the exact same thing , and that is perfectly okay .
Now , if I were to have long , just drawn out never ending text message conversations like I do that run on conversation that we have .
That's just never ending .
Exactly Like our text message conversation it never ends , it's just continuous , forever and ever . The conversation I have with very close friends , it's just continued , it never actually ends at all , it's just over and over . If you're having those , then that is a problem .
Absolutely , I sent . I'm going to call him out . I know he doesn't listen to our podcast , or maybe he does , I don't know . George Drake .
Yes .
Friend of ours . We've known them , him and his wife Erica , for years .
Yes .
Are their oldest . Our youngest have been together since what ? K3 or K4 or something like that .
Early , early , early .
They went to kindergarten together and they moved , so they're not in the same school system anymore . But we also blamed him for 100% the reason why our daughter loves basketball .
Correct Because it is his fault . He is the head basketball , which I'm actually , at the end of the day , I'm happy about .
Yes , but at the same time , when I took the position at the high school , we worked side by side , so it was me another female coach which is the reason why I got the job Ashley Blankenships , who I went to high school with we played ball together and George and they're incredible people .
I obviously talked to Ashley way more than George , but we are at a table , we are in PE , we would play basketball together , we would try to strike each other out playing wuffa ball or if we'd get to go to the field as a joking funny thing not a oh , it's a flirt , but my , my , my backing behind this is when I text him .
The other day he was going to be off . Ashley told me that he was going to be off . I'm not in a permanent position at the school anymore . I'm really flexible there . Even though I still coach , I'm not there every single day . Last week , Ashley told me that Drake was going to be off or talking about being off one of the days next week .
I was like , oh my gosh , he better tell me . I'll pick up his spot , I'll go sub for that .
Right .
I was there . What All of the first semester and the first month and a half of this semester , I know this student , so it's not that big of a deal . She told me that at softball practice I sent him a text . I didn't necessarily get a text back until softball practice is over and I was home by that time . He said yeah , I'll let you know .
George is a big wrestling fan .
Huge .
He knows that I did wrestling , so he just thinks that's the coolest thing .
Yep .
But I sent him a one of those . What are they ? Are they ?
GIFs , gifs , gifs , gifs or GIFs , whatever it's called GIFs , gifs . There you go it was Rick Flare going ?
whoo , that's all I was and we have that in common . Right Still loves wrestling . That's all I sent back . He goes . Yeah , I'll let you know .
Yeah .
But then he responded to that was hey , did you know that the rock is back ?
Exactly .
Just fun things like that .
And that's that is that were to make you jealous . Got bigger problems on your hands .
There is a major deep rooted . I know she said that she had some
¶ Navigating Jealousy in Relationships
childhood issues . That may have some , but we have said this in the questions before get rid of those past hurts . They are not your current relationship .
And they will destroy your current relationship if you're not careful . And it is totally normal to develop close relationships with people you work with Absolutely . You were there with them every single day . In a lot of cases , you spend more time with them than you do your actual family .
Yes .
It is totally normal to develop those relationships .
And do you have conversations with them that are not about work ?
Yes , You're going to . That is life . It's just life . That's what happens for this particular situation . One just stop . I just want to say stop .
But one hurting yourself more than they you are you think your spouse is hurting .
And listen and if it's , if it's become this big of a problem . Obviously your husband knows about this . The reason he has kept those conversations away is probably because he's come home like I just don't have the energy for it today . I just don't have worth the . I don't have the energy to be ridiculed about it .
So if every conversation is is taken in this narrow path or this negative path about you know well , you know so and so , and if she was there again today ? Huh , well , what's all that ? Every conversation goes that way . No , he's not going to tell you about any of that , because he just cannot do it .
Listen , there's more than that girl at that work .
There is and if he is , if she's bothering you .
Those other girls should be too .
If he's up front with you , if you have you know , if he does not go off , hide his phone and keep it on the , you got nothing to worry about with that and the fact that you know . One of the things that made her upset was telling her , hey , I think you'd be really good friends with her . He's probably saying , hey , I'd like . I like this girl .
I mean , she's nice , she's easy to talk to , she's around our same age , she has a baby , she's married . Hey , maybe we can all become friends .
at some point in time I got I met this person at work who I think is good for you . He said she's good for you , not him . That doesn't mean , hey , I want her at my house so I can see her even more . He is thinking about you .
Yeah To me that says , hey , I think she'd be really good , I think y'all'd be really good friends , because I get along with her really well and , hey , I'm making it along with her husband too .
Hey , maybe this could be a new , new set of friends for us we can start doing life with maybe she's got horrible friends that make her think this and he's like , okay , let's get rid of these friends so I can move in people that I actually like .
Yeah , so you know to get over this you never know the back .
All of the story .
No , all the stories are going to be one side for the most part , but at the end of the day , you talk about it , you get over it , you forgive the past hurts that you've had and you move forward . You choose that hey , we're going to thrive together , that we're in this together . We're going to thrive together .
You choose love over fear , because it's love that conquers all things . So you choose love over the jealousy , the insecurity , the fear that , the uncertainties that you may have . You choose love in this foundation and the solid relationship you have .
You choose that over all of the outside stuff , all the outside sources that are being thrown out at you to question everything that you have known about your relationship .
The last one . Didn't you say that they were high school sweethearts ?
Yes .
That makes it even worse . How do you not know everything about this guy ?
Right High school they're 28 and 29 . So at worst they've been together 10 years , 10 , 11 years , at worst probably a little bit longer , probably fell in love . You know soft moors in high school , 15 . We were sounds familiar , right , and have we been through this crap ? Yes , we most certainly have . Have we been jealous ?
Yes , have we had reasons to be jealous .
Yes , maybe , so maybe not , who knows . But we've been in this situation . We've been jealous , we've caused the other to be jealous or real reason to be jealous we made it through it . How did we do that ? We ?
stopped being stupid .
We stopped being stupid , we put past behind us . We realized it was more important for us to work together , to not be so selfish , to put the other ahead of ourselves in our own wants and our own desires . And when we did that , it changed everything .
And if you chase after Jesus together , individually , and do it together , there ain't nothing that is going to stop your relationship from thriving .
Absolutely not . You cannot go forward looking in the rear view mirror . No , you can't .
We got to go . We done Bye , bye , god . We love you so much . Thank you for what you've done , for what you're doing . For every person who hears this . We just want to pray favor over their marriage . So we know that marriages are hurting , we know that they're falling apart , but it is you who can bring all things back together .
It is you who can restore people , it is you who can restore relationships , and , god , we just pray that that will happen for those who need it . You know exactly what's going on . You know exactly what they need .
You know exactly how to give it to them in our hearts and prayer is just that they're open enough to receive it , to see you and everything , and chase after you , not just individually , but in their marriage , so they can , too , thrive together . We love you so much in Jesus' name , amen .
Amen Play ball .