¶ Marriage and Prioritizing Intimacy in 2025
here's a question for you is marriage overrated ? Why aren't ? People getting married anymore a new pew research poll found that two and five young adults think marriage is an outdated tradition .
Marriage rates are at their lowest . Right now . Is marriage really even worth it ? More than half of marriages end in divorce .
If you get married , you have to be stuck with this person for the rest of your life , right ? That's why you get married . So that's why it's declining . Why would you get married if you don't , if you want to have just one partner ?
when you can have multiple Marriage is stupid . Welcome to the Married AF Podcast , the self-proclaimed greatest marriage relationship podcast in the world . We are your hosts , matthew and Monica Powers . Back Brand new year , new year , new me . 2025 is upon us , baby .
New you .
That's what everyone says new year , new me .
You gonna be everybody else .
No , but I'll say new year , new us , because we got ways to increase your connection , your intimacy , in 2025 , or 26 , 27 , depending on the year that people see and listen to this . But in the new year , how are you going to be better ? How are you going to increase your connection with your spouse , your intimacy ?
They may seem basic principles that everyone would be like well duh , that makes total sense . However , that everyone would be like , well , duh , that makes total sense . However , they're not being done , so we might as well talk about them . So , ways to increase your intimacy in your marriage in 2025 and beyond you ready For some intimacy .
Yeah , you ready for some intimacy ? Yeah , how you doing . That's number one . That's not number one . We'll get to that , though We'll get to that for sure . I think number one is priorities .
Yeah , prioritizing your relationship , your spouse , your family , everything in the correct manner , because , for those of us with kids , we so oftentimes want to put our children first , and we don't need to put our kids first , and that's contrary to so many things that people believe .
That's the worldly view .
But your kids don't need to be first in your life . Of course Jesus needs to be number one . He's my number one , he's your number one . That's clearly stated . But you are my number two .
You're my number two .
And then kids are three , sometimes four depending on . But kids , your career , your finances , all of the other stuff falls in . After that , your other family . But you're Wait , wait , wait , wait , like your , aunts and your uncles .
Just you have to explain that .
We're no Rush Probst around here with second families running around . For those people in Alabama , they would know what I'm talking about .
But he's not the only one that has things like that , but he was , so there was so prominent .
whenever it happened it was like , oh my gosh , the Hoover High football coaches got all second family . Yeah , but no , I'm talking to aunts and uncles .
People do that don't have a status .
Hey , you want to be better in your marriage ? Don't have a second family . If anyone listens to this . You got a second family . Ditch that second family . Focus on your first family . How about them apples ?
But prioritization God has to be first , because he wants your marriage to thrive , despite what some people think , like I just got to tough it out , I'm just going to stick it out , is all I'm going to do . Ball and chain , ball and chain . I'm stuck with her forever . I'm just going to make it last .
No , god wants your marriage to thrive and be good and be better , and he wants to see success in your marriage throughout it all . You don't have to just stick it out .
So when we place him number one , everything else falls into place , but making your spouse the second in line , Well , most people think well , if I put God first , especially in my marriage , then that's going to be boring . It's so not Listen . Speaking from experience , it's totally not . It only makes it far and away better .
Because we've been on the other side where God was not first .
Yes , like we've been early in our marriage where we didn't even place each other first . We placed myself first , I placed me first , you placed you first , me , me , me , me , me , me , and it set up for disaster in our relationship . But once we kind of learned things , we got ourselves corrected . We shouldn't have lasted . No way Marriage should have been over .
There's no way we should be here right now , but somehow we were and it's only through the grace of God that we are . But when you put God first in your marriage , it makes everything else fall into place so much easier . It doesn't mean it's going to be sunshine and rainbows every time .
No , it's going to be a little more difficult sometimes , yes , but you know that you're both in it for each other . You know God wants it best for yourself and it's just going to make it so much better than you could ever imagine . And I promise it's not boring . So many people think that church it's boring , god's boring the Bible's boring .
You're going to the wrong church .
It's going to make . It's going to make we're not going to have fun with each other . The sex is going to be terrible . They believe all that stuff and every bit of that is a lie of the enemy . It's not at all what God has set for your marriage whatsoever , nope . So priorities are huge and your spouse being number two .
You have to put your spouse above your kids .
Because kids are made to move out .
Yes , if you do your job as a parent , your kids will grow up . They'll get married , have children of their own , have their own lives . And they're gone . They're still your kids . You still love them . You're still going to care for them . All of that remains true .
However , your spouse is the one who's always going to be there , so you don't want your kids to move out and the spouse be like who are you ?
They're just roommates .
And that's it and that's not at all what you want .
I think so many people have it flipped around where I'm too worried about my kids' school and their schedule and the ball games and the gymnastics and the this and the choir , the play and all of the activities and making sure they have the friends and they go to the sleepovers and they're involved in every party and we're more concerned with that than time with
our spouse and it takes away time with your spouse , which I think is kind of number two on all this . Intentionally spend time with your spouse .
Yes .
Date your spouse .
When was the last time married couples thought about a date ? I mean , I know people that go on dates . That's great . And you need to , even if it's just a dinner . A dinner , it can be Just you two alone .
It can be something at home . The biggest thing is , it's just you two . You're all by yourselves . You're focused on one another .
With zero distractions .
Yes , that means Put your phone down . Put your phone away , put the dog away , send the kids somewhere and just spend time with each other , being intentional on that time . For us to grow in our relationship , we have to spend time with each other , being intentional on that time . For us to grow in our relationship , we have to spend time with each other .
I've made the example so many times . But how good would our marriage be if I was just never here , I never came home , I was never around , we were never together , and that's just how it was . Things are going to completely fall apart very , very quickly .
¶ Prioritizing Quality Time in Relationships
If you do that , you just gonna have to hang on to that this thing is driving me insane I can tell you're just gonna have to hold on .
It doesn't want me to talk to it .
It keeps going this way well , listen , we're just gonna have farther and farther .
I'm going to hold it like this .
Hold it like that cradle it like uh , I don't know what you're cradling it like , I don't know , but spend time with one another .
Like this podcast is not our time together .
No , this is far from being our time together . This is not what we do to spend just our time with one another . We intentionally spend time with one another .
Yes .
Especially the weekends are huge . When we have time to be able to , we are hey , we're gonna go down to the basement watch the show . Hey , we're gonna go do this together .
we're gonna go do whatever we can and spend that time together
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I feel like it might be easier for us because our kids are to the age now where we can sit in the basement and watch things that the kids are either not interested or should not watch they're , they're very , uh , self-sufficient now , yes , and they can take care of themselves pretty well , and that helps .
When you have younger children it's harder , but if it's important to you , you'll make sure it works .
Yeah , you know you get them to bed , put them to bed you find time to scroll social media .
You have time to watch the shows that you want to watch . You have time to go shop with things that you don't necessarily
¶ (Cont.) Prioritizing Quality Time in Relationships
need to . So take some of that time .
Prioritize that to your spouse rather than yourself all those facebook marketplace pickups exactly all that time you scroll through tiktok be intentional with the time that you spend with your spouse , because the more time you spend together and if you prioritize that time together , man , it's only going to flourish and make things so much better than you could have
thought so before All that time spent on the toilet scrolling those poop likes . Side note , if you don't know , most of the likes that you're getting on social media are while people are sitting on the toilet and pooping . It's just the way that it is .
It is very true , because we take 25 , 30-minute poops because we're not actually pooping , we're just scrolling you want people to think you're pooping ?
yes , so people don't come in there . And you're , you have your me time .
Yes , that's , you're just giving yourself hemorrhoids instead of having me time , have some we time , spend some time turn that me upside down and then you're right when you do put the distractions away , put the phones away , put all the junk away , spend that time together and have like deep , meaningful , meaningful conversation with one another , ask yourself , ask
questions to each other , all sorts of stuff . You know we did this a while ago but we got these like conversation type card things and it's just a way to have conversations , ask questions that maybe you wouldn't think about . I just want , just on the hop , what do you , what do you consider cheating ? And we've done these and we've talked about these .
But you can ask some of these off the wall questions to your spouse and really get to know them a little bit more and they're fun to kind of see what each other thinks and you can talk about it and have conversations because those are things that people don't necessarily talk about they're not going to talk about this .
What do you think cheating is ?
I think cheating is any type of emotional connection with anybody as well as physical , um any , any relationship that you may have or that you're growing upon or that you're spending time with , that your spouse does not know about . That is a form of cheating to me .
Now , care who it is or what you're talking about , but if you're trying to keep it away from your not know about , that is a form of cheating to me . Now , I don't care who it is or what you're talking about , but if you're trying to keep it away from your spouse , there is a reason for it , so I would say that's considered cheating .
All those work relationships that they might not know about .
I mean tell your partner one thing you adore about them . I mean just stuff like that can get the conversation going .
I love the way you look at me .
You do yeah , why is that ?
I don't know . I feel like I'm
¶ Enhancing Intimacy in Relationships
the only girl in the world .
Well , it's true . Well , you're not the only girl in the world , but for me In your eyes you are . Absolutely 100% .
Especially if I'm doing something , if I'm speaking as in front of people , if I just happen to glance over and you're looking , it's just this , I don't know . I feel like Reese Witherspoon and , uh , legally blondes . They did special lighting behind her , where she always lit up .
Yes , yes .
I feel like that's happening to you when I see you see me doing something I love .
I uh yeah kind of .
It makes it even more predominant with the lights behind you , like angels are singing . You know that kind of thing .
I mean in a way yeah , I most certainly do see it that way . Whenever I look at you , it's just , I'm in awe , essentially .
That's the better word , I guess .
And I hope most people are able to see their spouse in that way . That that's the better word , I guess . And I hope most people are able to see their spouse in that way that , no matter what they're doing , they're looking at them . It's like I only have eyes for you .
That's the way it should be , and that you can actually tell in those things that it's not fake , because you can't fake that .
No , it's so authentic , it's very , very authentic . But yeah , I mean , these can be great . When did you realize that you and your partner were a good match ? You know ?
First time I saw you .
Just stuff like that . What's one thing you and your partner can do this week to make your relationship stronger ?
Ooh .
I mean stuff like that what's one thing you want your partner to do every single day ? What's one habit that your partner has that drives you crazy ? I mean even that .
And these can be fun , and there are , you know , there's ones that are more adults , of course , that get along with that , which can lead to having some more fun with each other , which you need to have , which is kind of . The next one is you need to get physical with each other . What , what ? Just the way you said it .
Why Just get physical with each other ? You ?
have some sex . How about that ? Is that better ? Because some people , depending on what part of the world they're in , some people like to get physical yeah , don't do that .
Have some sex , get intimate , take your clothes off , have sex with each other pull the naked man . Pull the naked man , the naked woman works definitely every single time . Put on something , take something off .
I've had a 100% return rate on that .
Every single time . I can guarantee you will continue to have a 100% return rate on that . But sex is a need for people .
It's a major need for men .
Yes , it is . It is one of our major basic needs and it's just like anything else If you don't get your needs met , you're going to find a way to go get your needs met .
It doesn't make it right , no , wives , if you're not supplying for your husband and husbands , don't think they're just going to give it to you because you're who you are , I mean you have to your husband that You're who you are . Submit to your husband , that's not what that means you have to put in the work .
Yeah .
I mean you have to make an effort .
That's where these love languages come in . So huge . If physical touch is her number one and you are sitting on the opposite side of the couch or you're in your chair , your wife's on the couch . You're in your chair , your wife's on the couch , you're in the chair . That's not feeding her love language at all no , no , either physical touch or quality time .
If you , if you , if you're not sure , on love languages . We had an episode a while ago . Go back and find it , watch it .
We talked in depth about the love languages , what they are , why they , why they're important and how to fulfill those needs for your spouse and that is one way to get intimate with each other is understanding and fulfilling their love languages .
But man don't think that just because you're so awesome and sexy and she wants you so bad that she is just going to take her clothes off for you every single step of the way whenever you want it . Don't work that way , man . You've said it so many times if you want to do it , do something you gotta do something to do it do something .
But then , wives , you also can't have a headache every single night and then scroll social media for three hours on the other side of the bed where he's like I mean , what the heck ? Ripping and roaring ready to go and you're too tired .
You're tired , but that thumb is that thumb thumb's going crazy , and that happens so often for so many marriages where I'm tired , I just don't feel like it tonight you're gonna headache .
You know why you got a headache because you've been on your phone all day because ?
Because you're scrolling your phone in bed .
Your eyes are in pain . Look up .
Look up .
Look what's in front of you , and sometimes you might not like it , so turn the lights off .
It can work .
It does , it does . I don't know what else to say . I mean you don't have to put on something sexy , Looks better in the floor .
Totally Now . It may help get it going , but it's going to come off shortly after . But the biggest reason people don't have sex is they're just too tired or too busy . Could not imagine that life . I'm too tired , I'm too busy , and if you find yourself there , it's time to really evaluate what you have going on .
You're given so many hours a day . Your priorities are not in order .
You're given so many hours in a day and you can't make more time , but you can begin to chip away at the things that are not necessarily a priority or not that important . So you know we're going to cut A , b and C out of our lives because that's interfering with us .
This is the most important earthly relationship you will ever have , so why not take the time to spend it together , enjoy it together , have sex
¶ Prioritizing Grace and Communication in Relationships
with each other , get physical , because that , just that , creates an even closer relationship . When you do that , you know sex wasn't meant to just go feel good with any person that you want to . That's not how it was created .
We want to watch other people on porn , go at it and take care of yourself we wonder why we have so many problems in this world , especially when it revolves around sex , is because it wasn't created the way we're using it , created between husband and wife . God created it and it's amazing and it's awesome .
But if we just did things the way the creator made it , we'd have so many less problems in our world , we would not have all the struggles and worries that we do .
Be a lot less selfish people because it ain't about us .
I mean the the abortion talk that we have in this country . If we did it according the way that it was created , this would never be a topic of discussion .
But because we thought we were better , we thought we were smarter , and do it my way , we say where it got us yep , it's a form of birth control it is , and it just that's not not okay , not okay at all . It's just going against the , the creation of it all and it's ruining it's .
It's ruining relationships , it's ruining marriages , because we just don't have it prioritized the right way . And it's so frustrating when you see it . You almost just want to grab someone and shake them , but can't .
You see what else needs to be done for you to wake up ?
but why can't we do that ? Why can't we see it ?
why can't we shake people ?
no , I know I can't shake people , it's assault , can't do that but why do we not see it , even when it's right there in front of our faces ?
Because we don't want to see it .
You think that's it .
Yeah , nobody . It seems like nobody ever wants to take the easy way out . There's no blame , nobody wants to be at fault for anything . If that were the case , we'd be able to say okay , I did this , I'm sorry . Those are words that don't leave people's mouth anymore either . I'm sorry , I messed up . I apologize .
Now it's more of a who made , who did something to make me act this way .
It's hard to look in the mirror .
But we're not perfect . We never will be . We're never going to get it right . But when we do things and have our priorities straight because God is number one in our lives , things are going to get a lot easier .
Well , that's maybe another thing for this is you need to be able to show some grace . Show some grace in your marriage . When your spouse doesn't get it right , don't beat them down .
Told you , so I knew you couldn't do it . Those are things that should never be pushed on .
Agreed .
They're going to think you're going to do that and say that every single time they fail , they're never going to try something new ever Pick them up , Lift them up , Say hey it's OK to fail . That's how we learn . You learn from mistakes .
It's a , it's an , ok , it's going to be all right . And hey , I'm here with you . I got your back , I got you covered . You're not going to go at this alone , you're going to be all by yourself . Instead of that , see , told you so , told you , I was right , because I'll just do things myself .
Show some grace to one another , If you were to tell me that after doing something and I knew I should have listened to you and I did what I wanted to do anyways and you were going to tell me that I'd never do anything again .
You'd have no desire to try and do anything again .
Because I don't ever want to hear those words .
leave your mouth , but if you did that and I said , well , hey , baby , it's okay , Come on , let's do this , We'll take care of this . You feel like ? Okay , it's like all right , I know I've got someone who's got my back .
I , I want to do everything by myself , that independent woman . That's not my mindset . I just know how I want it done , so I just go and do it . There are a lot of times that I need a lot of help and I will not ask for it and you'll just be sitting there , baby . You need anything ? No , I can do it , baby , let me get that Fine .
And then it's Okay if you can do this and do this .
Can you help me do this ?
I'm like you know . All you gotta do is ever ask . And I'm never gonna ask no , you're not , so I have to . I have to pry it out of you the very best that I can . But it's okay , I don't sit there and get frustrated . I'll just sit back and watch and be like you should have asked me for help . I'm just like , hey , can I do anything for you ?
Baby , do you need this ? I'll be standing on the top of a ladder , knowing I'm still two feet away from something that I'm too short to reach and I should have just handed you something to do it anyways , and it would not have been a problem . Yep , but I'll still try it .
Yes , and I'll show you grace through that every single time , because that's what we do .
You also think it's funny .
I do think it's funny and we got to laugh . You got to be able to laugh every now and again .
Baby , do you need me ? No , I got it Okay .
Baby .
Baby .
Don't hurt yourself .
Fine .
Yeah , that's the word Fine .
And our son has now started doing the same thing .
Yes , he will . He'll ask you multiple times if you need help with something . I think that's just . You know , he's watched me for so long and he's just saying , okay , well , this is what I'm supposed to do , which , as a parent , that's what you want . You want your kids to learn from you . What kind of example are you setting for your kids ?
Greatest gift is a happy marriage . Happy and healthy marriage is the greatest gift we can give our children . Absolutely that's what they're going to find and look for .
I wholeheartedly know that our children it's not going to matter what their spouse looks like . They're going to look for a spouse . Our daughter's going to look for someone who's going to treat her like you treat me , and Cash is going to find someone who treats him like I treat you .
And that's because our priorities are in order , because we put God first , each other second . And our children are in order , because we put God first , each other second and our children are third , and they can see how we model that .
And they may not even realize it now , but it's all going to come full circle and circle back , because that's what mom and dad used to do . It's what we want .
But that's a healthy marriage , Totally so healthy marriage , Totally so .
Healthy marriage 2025 , do these things Just evaluate . You may have it all together , but chances are you don't have it all together . Maybe there's just a little tweak that you need to make .
Just a small communication . Issues taken care of .
And don't don't expect perfection . Ever , You're never going to find perfection in your marriage . You know , seek excellence , but don't seek perfection , because you're going to be let down .
But if you try to seek excellence , to do all that you can and just be a little bit better today than you were yesterday , and if you fail it's okay , show grace to one another , pick yourselves up and move on and go together .
But that's how we do it and hopefully there's just one little thing Anyone can take is hey , you know what , we can be a little better there and at least begin to ask yourself Some questions and evaluate where you are and say , alright , yeah , we can improve A little bit here .
What were you saying this morning ? Proverbs fall down Seven times . Though Proverbs fall down seven times .
Though a righteous man falls down seven times , he gets back up , though we keep falling .
You fall down seven , you get up eight .
Yep , you just keep getting up . You keep giving up , you keep going . You have someone there who's going to do it . Be there for each other , and it can . Your marriage can be the greatest it's ever been , and you can model that for other people .
I agree .
Anything to add before we dip out ?
I don't know . 2025 is going to be a crazy year .
Here's to a happy , healthy , thriving 2025 for all of the Married AF audience . Let's go . Let's go , God . We love you . God . We're thankful for this platform . We're AF audience .
Let's go .
Let's go , god , we love
¶ Renewed Commitment to Marriage
you . God , we're thankful for this platform , we're thankful for what you're doing . We're thankful for our marriage . I'm thankful for my wife you provided it and , God , we just want to honor you and honor what you have given us .
I pray that through this platform , our story will be told , it will resonate with people , it will help people where they need it , wherever that may be . That you will allow it to reach the ears that need to hear it , and we give you all the glory for it .
It belongs to you and you're the only one who can do anything with it , and we'll listen to you every step of the way . God , we love you and we thank you In Jesus' name , amen .
Amen Play ball .