¶ Marriage
the next week I'm going to get you . Here's a question for you Is marriage overrated ? Why aren't people getting married anymore ? A new Pew Research poll found that two and five young adults think marriage is an outdated tradition .
Marriage rates are at their lowest right now . Is marriage really even worth ?
it More than half of marriages and divorce . If you get married , that's why you get married , so that's why it's declining . Why would you get married if you don't ? If you want to have just one partner when you can have multiple marriage is stupid .
Welcome to the Married Day podcast , the self-proclaimed greatest marriage relationship podcast on the planet . Self-proclaimed . We're not there yet , but we're getting there . We are your host , Matthew and Monica Powers , and we are here for another new episode of the podcast . You are back from Juarez , mexico .
Fresh off it plane .
Yes , like this time yesterday you were still in the air , but here we are back recording again . Amazing trip , but we're so happy that you're back .
And that's why I sound like this .
Yes , from you know the change in temperature , change in atmosphere , all the dust being in the desert . You know it's just one of those things that it totally worth it . Kind of happens , but it's been a great week . You guys had a blast . You did a lot of amazing things . Yes but you're back and ready to recover .
Yes , two hundred and seventeen children .
Amazing .
How many kids we gave Christmas to ?
yes that would have had none of it , not just , not only Christmas , but , you know , unlikely they'll have food , water , anything whatsoever For we're not for you guys . So we're so happy that you're back . We're happy everyone is back and listening . This week was like a record number of downloads on the podcast .
I don't know what's going on , but we want to thank everyone who is listening and liking and subscribing and commenting and the posts and just all of the different things and ways to interact . It's been awesome . So hopefully we'll be able to provide something else for you today , but I'm kind of excited about it .
I think it's going to be fun because we're discussing fun , fun , fun . Have fun in your marriage . I see in the episode . See you later . It's that easy . We should have fun . We have fun . We have a ton of fun , we laugh a lot , we joke around a lot , and I think that that's needed in marriage .
Absolutely .
Because I believe that people they don't do it anymore . They're not , they're not having fun , they're not enjoying themselves , they're not enjoying their spouse . I think they're way too serious , they take things way too seriously and they're just not laughing .
Why .
I don't know what the reason is , but we're here to try and change that and let you know how fun it is to laugh and joke around and have fun with your spouse and the impact that a cat can have .
Do you think it's just their spouse or it's just not their spouse ?
How do you feel about it and why don't you ask out into your life and how are you going to be with them ? Across the board ?
I think overall , across the board , people are more anxious and upset and frustrated , and more , I guess worried about what the world says and what the world thinks about them , that at the end of the day people are taking themselves entirely too seriously . I feel like this time of year it might get worse .
We're in like a week on Thanksgiving with their family .
And that's a lot , because a lot of times when you get around family and I know it's not true for all people , but for a lot of people you get the same well , what's going on ? What are you doing ? How's the job , how's the family , how's the wife , how's the kids ? Well , why aren't you doing this yet ? Why haven't y'all done this yet ?
Why , especially those who aren't married ? And maybe they're thinking why haven't you gotten married yet ? You haven't found yourself a husband yet ? Or hey , when are you gonna give us some grandkids around here ? When are you gonna have children and when are you gonna do this ?
And I think there's a lot of pressure that's put on people to progress in a certain depth of their relationship or depth of their lives . Maybe they're just not prepared for it yet , or maybe they're a little scared of it .
Maybe . So we got the why I don't have grandkids yet .
Yeah , we've heard that .
No , I mean for my parents , mm-hmm , and I wasn't having kids .
No , we weren't having kids , and now we got two . But you can't anymore . That's done .
Yeah , baby , we talked about that .
go back and listen to that episode . But at the end of the day , I think we're taking ourselves way too seriously , like we can't make fun of ourselves .
No .
At all and we have to be all tidy and buttoned up and perfect and we can't make a mistake or be goofy at all .
Only when people are watching .
Oh yeah , by when we're by ourselves , we're probably very much like that , but when other people are watching , for sure it's something that we don't want to let the world know .
Right .
We don't want the world to see every one of us .
That's why , when the world knows something , maybe , that you don't like about yourself , they will run with it just to make you feel bad , or they will go back to 1998 , when you said something stupid .
So what was it ?
And you were completely .
What was it you said 1998 ? Then I'm just joking .
Just joking , just going with the year here they will , they'll find and they'll just press and push , especially if you were in a maybe a political life or in the mainstream where people you are like a leadership role .
Maybe In the spotlight at all .
Influencer .
If you're in a spotlight at all , there's any focus put on you , then , yeah , I can see where people are , especially if people don't like you .
They're gonna go back and try to dig up the worst possible thing you could have ever done in your life .
Yeah , you laughed at that joke . You watched that movie and thought it was fun . Why ?
doesn't anybody go back and say , Kim Kardashian , you're famous because you sold a sex tape .
That's exactly why she's famous , that her dad was famous , but that .
Step dad . She became who she was because of a sex tape ?
I have no idea . I don't know anything about the Kardashians Other than that if you marry into that , watch out because it messes you up .
Look , kanye was already messed up and he's even worse now . Poor guy .
Look at poor Bruce Jenner . We're gonna get hate for this and everything , but I mean .
Don't care .
Bruce Jenner was you know .
You wanna get real hate .
Oh boy .
I'm not a Swifty .
Oh no , the podcast is there's your real , mr Powers , everybody .
Oh , my God , you're not a Swifty , I don't care .
No , no , I don't either . Good for her . I'm happy on all the success and everything here in side note . This is , in all , what we're gonna talk about . The little side note on Taylor Swift . Here's the thing about Taylor Swift , and she's probably lovely . I think she does a lot of real good things . People are beyond obsessed with her .
That's a problem .
Exactly because they will spend thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars on flights , hotel travel tickets , the clothes , the outfits , the merch , the this and that to go see Taylor Swift in concert and that's like the number one thing in their life and everything is involved with her and they're just consumed with her and what's happening with her , rather than
themselves and the things that they're doing . And I would almost be led to believe , if there's a large percentage of those people , that the opportunity to go see Taylor Swift , or Jesus , they're gonna go . Taylor Swift absolutely and that's a problem .
That's a big problem , that's another , that's us here , in our worldly view , putting someone else as our idol .
That's exactly what it is , she is a god to people and again she puts out here for her .
We're doing all the things , but it's those people who have their priorities mixed up .
Yes , and the , the idol , and you know when you read the Bible , and Leviticus is the most difficult book to get through no , anyone in the one-year Bible plan when they get to Leviticus .
That's where , though , you one year in the Bible ends , but Leviticus actually even says , hey , no idols , no idols , talks about idols , and I mean it could work with Taylor Swift , I can work with college football anything you want to get rid of that obsession where you have this love hate and just Rips your soul apart .
There's the idols that are , that are setting in right .
Well , look at we . Okay , we're in Alabama , and if you're an Alabama fan , most people say it as a joke , but honestly it's true .
It's God , nick Saban ,
¶ [Ad] The Brief
everything else pretty much and those two are very , very , yeah , and I heard it here , by the way . I've just said we're way off topic , but that's okay . Um , when it comes to Nick Saban , he was totally wasted on football .
He should have been president .
Oh my god .
Can we write him in Saban , for I don't think he'd want that job at all .
But the things he accomplishes , in the way that he looks at things , the way that he does things , he would be a far better candidate than anyone else is out there .
And we're not getting political one way or another , but the last couple elections , and even this one that's coming up , you just kind of look at them all and you're like the these are the best we could come up with this is what the best America has to offer .
This is wonder our country considers
¶ (Cont.) Marriage
us . Everyone else in the world to consider our country a joke .
I mean , and look at it , what's coming up in the 2024 election ? It's probably gonna be Joe Biden and Donald Trump again , and we gotta look at it and you just got to be like these are the best two . We got this , this is it in the past eight years .
This is the best thing we can come up with to we've come up with trying to send people to the moon on commercial Jets , and these two guys are the best we can do so you got to laugh at all that stuff , because people take that stuff . Yeah , seriously too . Yes , oh , my god .
So yeah , I'd write in Nick Saban because way . Absolutely in the way he evaluates people and tries to empower people in the discipline that it requires . He was wasted on football . I'm thankful for it as an Alabama graduate and everything . Thank for it . It's been amazing around , but he was wasted on football . He should have been president for forever .
Completely agree .
So back to fun . Fun , because politics are gonna drive everyone out of here . I'm ten minutes into this thing in there thinking oh my gosh , we've hit the Kardashians , we've hit Taylor Swift , we've hit football .
We all the clickbait .
We've hit politics , we've hit it all . So let's talk about fun , because at the end of day , it revolves back to us taking ourselves way too seriously . Obviously I don't know we don't , because we we like to have fun .
But you know , thinking about this because I don't know what you have on the schedule , because you're like where your nose we want notes I know , okay , sure , I'm sorry that the fun part , because I feel like I don't necessarily take myself too serious and I have fun in absolutely everything that I do I'm not looked at as someone who would be able to lead .
Oh .
Yeah , I'm .
I feel like I have been looked over
¶ Importance of Fun and Laughter in Relationships
on so many things , but obviously that's not where God wanted me to be .
Mm-hmm . There's a reason for all that . There's absolutely reason for all that .
But maybe that's a reason why people don't or they do take themselves so seriously , because they want other people to think that they're Good for this or the good for that , like they put on a different show for yeah .
Well , they , you , you , it's we've talked to . You know what , you have , this version of you and that version of you .
And then there's at home , and there's why for version , and then there's , you know , at work version , and at church version , and out the grocery store , and there's all these different versions of ourselves and you're just authentic to who you are .
And , yes , you like to laugh , you like to have fun , because why in the world would we want to walk around life so just , I Don't know , frustrated at everything and just looking down on everything and just being being like ?
E , or that's who it is you're from the Winnie the Pooh .
Well , we're just so down and out about everything possible and it just can ruin it . And if you bring that into your relationship and into your marriage , where you're so serious all the time , it's gonna be more like a job and more like a workplace relationship than an actual , true Relationship .
I don't know . Some people really like their work relationships because that turns into other things it does , but it doesn't truly bring out , because when they come home they're like E or oh , bother well , and that's you know . Talk about the .
That relationship is the work relationships to turn into more than they actually should . It probably stems a lot from the , the at-home relationship and just not laughing with each other . Having that see , and it Dramatically affects you know how close you are , the intimacy that you have with your spouse unless you're Jim and Pam .
That's true , jim and Pam Work they had fun . They had a lot of fun at work .
They had fun outside of work and it works Well so they got that , both the At-home in the work man .
Only if life could be a little bit more like the office . So let me ask you this question because I I don't don't see where it'd be beneficial , but when it comes to the intimate and the sexual relationship of it all , To me a constant serious person ain't sexy All like all the time .
Now , yes , there can be times where , man , they're serious and it's intense and it's like , oh yeah , OK , I see , but when it's always that way , you can't joke around and laugh . I mean , come on , there's like I thought what you got .
You sparked a thought that happened on vacation when we were in Florida , to our timeshare .
I know where you're going with this .
The . We have a timeshare and our timeshare is great . We love our timeshare . But this time they were trying to sell us , as they usually know , what they would . We're trying to sell , and that's real quick before .
I don't mean to cut you off , but I mean that's kind of the point of the timeshare the and you're ours . We get to use it multiple times out of the year whenever we want it's , it's , it's incredible , the best .
But they always , you know you have to go do the thing and it's like just part of , it's like all right , I'll take an hour , I'll have breakfast and let them try yeah . Tell me on it and they're just trying to get you to pay more money to get get more . But this particular time went a little further , so go , go ahead and explain .
We can be happier with our timeshare . They made me a little mad when I lost a couple of weeks , because you know , we're not of the bank , but they were trying to get us to do something .
And if we did this and extended because of COVID , blah , blah , blah , and no matter how many times we kept saying no , we don't want to extend , we don't want to go into debt any further with a timeshare , we're just not going to do it . So the guy says , ok , well , let me go get my boss .
Oh boy , she's going to , I guess , like talk , talk , a certain that we have to sign something . She was literally doing everything she could to make us want to extend it or something .
But when you were tell me how much that's going to cost me , well , it's not going to cost you anything , it's still going to cost me because you're adding that onto the back end and the interest in this and this , and you were just Pointing out all of the things that she was not going to tell us and all I could do was to just sit there and go .
That's my man . So those are the times where like , actually , works out everything .
She was so mad she wouldn't even tell us . She would not even tell us . She was so mad , she wouldn't even tell us .
but she would not even look at you Just slammed her pin down and walked away . I remember getting up from that table and walking in the doors and going Grab . I grabbed your hand and held your hand . I was like you , my man . That was hot . You're like what you just told him like it was . You were not going to back down and I liked every second of it .
And there are definitely times for that and when it when it could work . But if I were that way all the time about everything , I'd be like oh God , here we go .
he's just going to keep saying no , I know I don't , I don't get to see that side of you because we don't work together .
No , no . So I mean , I like to laugh and have fun and enjoy life as well . So , you know , trying to switch that on and off and being able to , you know , not always be serious where you can just kind of turn the switch off .
But you know what I'm going to relax , I'm going to smile , I'm going to laugh , I'm going to tell a joke , I'm going to goof around with my wife . That's , that's so important . And actually I did some research , believe it or not , I did .
You did research .
I did research the benefits of smiling and laughing and having fun . First off , when I , when I look up biblically all of this , someone , 26 even says our mouths are filled with laughter and our tongues with songs of joy , filled with laughter . You know you got a lot . God's got a sense of humor .
I mean , have you seen some people ? Have you seen we're made in his image , dear God .
Exactly . Just just go hang out at Walmart for an hour You'll see all that you need to see but that's the reason why .
There's a reason why they made a website . People of Walmart .
Exactly Because you see a lot of crazy stuff you like OK you cannot believe that's funny stuff right there . But the Mayo Clinic did a study and they they short term and long term benefits of laughing just laughing . It stimulates your organs , your insides , your heart , your lungs . It stimulates your organs , it has shown .
It relieves stress and it increases circulation throughout your body . It also helps improve your immune system , simply by laughing .
Explains a lot about me .
That's why you've got the heart of a look I don't know , but the heart's incredible . I don't know what has great .
I know I fall dead from a heart attack . People are like you remember when you said she had the heart of .
They were lying . That's exactly what they would think . But then also I thought of Jimmy V . Jim Valvano , the NC State basketball coach . Espn did the 30 for 30 thing on him . And there's the V foundation , which ESPN is a big part of , for cancer research . You know he had cancer and he was . He was a great speaker and communicator .
But one thing he said on his SB speech just before he died and they started the foundation . He said if you do these three things daily , you'll have a fulfilled life . If you think and if you laugh and if you cry every single day , it's like that's , that's a great day .
Can we skip the crying part ?
Well , crying was more of you know , to tears of joy , full list and happiness . And I have to agree , if you think and you laugh and you cry every single day , man , what a day . Yeah , like you've experienced all sorts of different emotions , you've just pure joy to be able to to get through . Yeah , I love that .
If you laugh , you think and you cry every day , it's like , man , that's , that's one heck of a day and that's one great day to to live .
Right ? Well , you know , people probably is . This is more of a female thing . And these are , to the hoity twity People , the suits .
I guess Sorry , just real quick . Whenever you said hoity twity , all I could think about we're not going to say it here because we have to bleep it out , but I'll think about a sweet home , alabama , some hoity toy , the Yankee , and all I can think about is Bobby Ray in the in the in the bar playing pool . Sorry , anyway , it's going to Sorry .
Hoity toy , my mom's all over the place . I love that movie . You can watch it with me because I know every single word .
Some hoity toy Yankee Beep , Exactly .
Anyways , I'm sorry for interrupting , that's just I was trying to think of what Phil Robertson calls all the Women that are maybe a little bit more bougie than the other .
Oh my goodness , what does he call them ?
Yeah .
I don't remember .
I don't remember at all , but I know exactly what you're what you're saying , but that's what you're thinking about Type of woman ? I guess they were not . They're not gonna smile because they've been told you smile too much , you're gonna get wrinkles .
Oh yeah .
You know what , when I'm 80 years old , my face can be filled with wrinkles , because if I've had a long life of laughter and those are laugh lines and wrinkles- Well worth it . What am I gonna do at 80 ? What ? Why should I care ?
Well worth it .
I'm gonna tell everybody what I think about them . Anyways , at 80 .
I mean , at 80 years old you can say whatever you want . I mean , that's the point in your life where you can say do whatever you want , no one don't matter anymore . Nope , you have no , no feelings towards it . You're like just gonna tell , like it is all the time and tell people exactly what I think all the time . Oh , 80 , that's right .
You know what ? Maybe that's why God was like Jesus . We're gonna give you the 33 . Yeah , to really understand being an adult , you gotta live to 30 .
Yeah , I could agree with that .
You don't need to live three years past that , bro .
His ministry was only three years .
I know it makes sense right .
This is all it's gonna take . Okay , this is it . It's not gonna take anything else .
After 30 there's another four . You bro .
Like you , don't need to get married .
Like you've seen every little bit of it , we've seen all these marriages and we're just gonna go ahead and say , you know ?
Yep . Huh , 33 it is 33 is the magic number . So just kind of get back to laughing . And I know that's difficult for some people when I think about happiness and joy and , just you know , a jubilation for life and being over the top happy . A lot of that can come from sports , but a lot of anger can come from sports also .
Like yesterday I don't want to talk about it . I've read talks didn't have a chance . Anyways , I know they had a small chance .
I want , I was , I didn't . I had my mustard seed of faith , Okay . That's all it takes .
I did too , and Jesus was like we were constantly have you heard anything yet ?
Have you heard anything yet ? No , I didn't hear anything .
For those who haven't heard we're talking about Shohei Otani , the baller of a baseball player .
Who killed the internet on Friday ? The ?
richest contract in baseball history , really probably in sports history , other than soccer , because soccer's got unreal type money to be able to do that for international soccer , 10 years , $700 million to the Dodgers who are already so good .
Why do they need him ?
already so good . But good for you , shohei , good for you .
Yeah .
I'm , I'm , I'm a little sad though .
Yeah , and Yankees racked up too , yeah .
They traded for one Soto . It's a one year rental .
He'll be a free also got for to go .
They have for do go . Had some , had some , had some of them shoes .
He had some issues but they still got doogie .
They got . They got doogie but one Soto . It's a one year rental . Listen , he'll be a free agent after the end of the year .
It's not like the Red Sox are going to step up and do anything .
No , it's . It's been so disappointing they they got to go get Yamamoto and I'll be done talking about Red Sox , so they got to go get Yamamoto .
I mean , hey , we have a local kid that's going to be there pitching the Red Sox .
We did get that .
The name Dick Pitts , speaking of laughter , it is , His name is Dick Pitts , I mean . I mean it's Richard , but Do you think his mom calls him dick ? I don't know . Would you stop being a dick , come in here .
I mean , what a name you say . It's from Helena .
He's from Helena .
Yeah , that's near nearby us .
He played at the high school and he went to Auburn .
But I've heard great things about him . I know his velocity has increased over the last year . I know that he will be in the mix for probably spot in the bullpen this season , which always use bullpen help ?
¶ Laughter, Insecurities, and Sex
Yeah , I just dick fits . That's who we got . Need Yamamoto , you need another pitcher , need another outfield bat ? We did get the ripest guy in baseball , tyler O'Neill , but hey , what are you going to do ? So ?
at least we got an outfielder .
We got an outfielder and we got dick fits . So moving on . See , we like to laugh , we like to have fun .
Yes , Okay , sorry , it's the joy of laughter .
So getting back to laughter and this and that and just want to , it can create for a miserable relationship . But secondly , it kills sex . We're going to finish off with some sex . It kills . It kills the sex side of everything . So how I mean ? You're like all over .
I'm like my 12 year old boy mind just kicked .
Yes , sorry . So you know , and when it comes to sex and we've talked about this before whenever it's we talk about , you know , laughter and being able to have fun and this , and that there's a lot of body insecurities that people have that won't allow them to kind of giggle and laugh and , you know , be joyful in their sexual experience with their spouse .
Yeah , so how do we combat that ? Especially with the body . You know , my body's not what it once was . You know , I don't look like I'm 20 years old anymore . I'm a little loose here , a little flab here . This is bigger than it used to be . How do we get past that ? How do we get past that ? Because I got thoughts on that also .
Turn off the lights .
I mean that is one way . It's probably not the right way , but yeah , I guess you could just turn out the lights . That's perfectly fine . I think it happens in women more than it does men .
I guess so .
I think that women are probably a little more insecure about their bodies than men are . So I would say , men especially . I mean we're conscious about it too , we're self-conscious about it a little bit . But I think women it goes a little bit further , mostly because cultures told them hey , you need to look like this , like you need to have .
You got to look like Barbie .
You have a thin waist and you need to have a nice big booty and you need to have boobs , and your face needs to look like this , and your hair should look like this , and that's what a man's going to find desirable . That's been pounded in your heads for so long and it's not true . Nope , not true at all .
I mean , look at Sir Mix a lot . He was only after a booty , so what ?
Santa Conda , don't want none unless you got buns on . But there's a lot of truth to that and I would say , you know , for women , man , embrace it . Yeah , because your man still loves it , he still wants it , he still likes it . And man , tell her how much you enjoy what she's got to offer .
But you have to do that as a wife too . How Like for me . Most guys can't stand the fact that they go bald .
You're right .
It's a oh my God . I'm not able to do this . I'm losing all my hair . I'm sorry . Sorry , but there is nothing sexier than what I'm looking at right now , with a bald head and a beard on his face . That's just me .
How are you doing ?
And that's what you like , that's , that's what I like . Granted at 19 , when you were losing all of your hair .
Listen , I was holding on to that hair , for that hair was holding on for dear life . I literally . There was nothing left up there and I was just . You know , I was thinking it was looking OK .
But it was receding far back . There was a big hole back here and I just remember coming home from work one day in college and I just looked at you and said you got to shave your head .
Yes , you did .
And we're like what are you talking about ?
I have great hair . Like what hair .
It's not growing . No it's not coming back .
Listen it's got to go to two years from then , it would have been full on . George Costanza , no doubt about it . I'd have the doughnut around the outside . That would have been it . I like seven hairs up on top .
It just wasn't , it wasn't for me , it wasn't wasn't a good luck and you , you did not care for that and I'm glad that you said , and you really put the foot forward , like hey , you got to shave your head .
You got , you got to do . It wasn't . If you don't do this , I'm leaving . No , it was a . You're shaving your head .
Yeah , it was .
I'm here to help you , but most men are absolutely insecure if they're bald .
Well , and let's be honest , you know , not everyone's got a good head . Luckily , I have a decent that is true .
Some of you don't want a lumpy head . Some heads are a little jacked up looking Listen it is what it is . Some might be pointy and I mean does any ? Do you really want to be a bald guy and walk around with a pointy head ? Come on , I think it's coneheads .
Exactly no you don't . You don't want that , you don't want that , but still that is who you are and you got to think back . Your spouse fell in love with you for a reason . It wasn't the way you looked , but let's be real . Attraction matters . That's what first attracts you to somebody .
You didn't have that beard when we first stated . No you had a little bit of a .
I had a fuming shoot .
I had a few a few hairs on my chin .
That's about it .
I just remember the first thing my dad ever said to you was boy , you got some dirt on your face .
When I'm covered in blood , I mean , what are you going to do ?
And I was so embarrassed because he said that , because you were 16 years old . I know I could grow beard grow nothing , but you were trying to have a little bit . Had a little bit . Oh , that boy got some hair on his chin , but no , and you had a full head of hair .
I did .
I have good hair then you had great hair , we would go get highlights and all that stuff we did .
I did . I had frosted tips . You did it was good hair .
Come on now . Shell necklace . Oh , your little pucachel necklaces that I would make .
Listen , that was the .
Oh , it was the look . It was hilarious Some .
Abercrombie Fitch some Hollister .
Oh .
I'll , and that was a look . But what I'd say is it's you don't look like that now . No , but physical . But my God , I've aged OK .
Uh-uh , You're fine . Why , baby ? It just gets better with age . That that's me Like . I'm seeing all this salt and pepper in your beard . It's a distinguished man over there .
Very distinguished .
But you wouldn't look at me with gray and black hair and go oh , that's a distinguished woman , that's hot , Would you Listen ?
I plead the fifth .
There's a reason why I still highlight my hair . I'm not gray or anything . No , I even ask every time I'm like Do I have some adult blonde ? Yet she's like you're good , there is nothing up there . And she goes , and if you ever do get there , don't worry about it , we'll cover it up Exactly .
I mean that's the beauty of hair salons and hair dye and all that . But the attractiveness does matter and you've got to be I mean , that's how you first approach someone is you're , you're attracted to them and you're like , ok , yeah , I want , I want some of that and it's important to kind of keep that going .
I mean , we do grow older and we lose hair and we get gray hair and we kind of fluctuate in size .
Like when women , after they have a baby , yes it , your body is just not the same .
You produced a human being in nine months OK . The most miraculous , crazy thing that a human can do you make another human in your body crazy .
Now some guys just think , god , pregnant women are so sexy and I'm like , oh God , I feel bad for her , you know the ones with 37 children . Well , there's that , but I was miserable , pregnant and I took full advantage of pregnancy . I gained 40 pounds of the first with cash when our first you took full .
You're like I'm pregnant Three months , I'm getting huge .
Three months pregnant , monica , when are you do ? Six more months early , wait what ?
exactly , exactly , exactly .
But I was always told , you will never have , you will never get your body back . No , you were .
Why will I not get my body ?
back . Why will I not get my body back ? Oh , because it does this and does that and I'm like what you ? You said the right words to me , though you won't get it back . Like , how watch this ?
Bam .
I put myself in adult beauty contest like pageants . Not only did I need in this , was they were six months after I had kids .
Six months after .
Six months after I had both kids , I knew I had to be in a bathing suit . Oh , you were fully prepared full two piece bathing suits in front of strangers and being judged at that . I knew that was my motivation . Tell me I can't . I'm going to do it and do it better . And just because you and I lost 52 pounds .
It's exactly what you did . I mean you went .
you went a step beyond , yeah it might have been a little bit more much , but yes , I did lose all my weight and more . Not that I am a champion , beauty queen or anything but that was just that .
Little extra push , little extra motivation .
Well , like this summer , I had a hysterectomy . I have . I thought we were only going to have like two punctures in my abdomen , but turns out there's . They had to go for four , yep .
And I was a little irritated because I didn't know that until I completely came back to reality and oh God , I'm not stuck in drug land going Woo , I'm in pain , give me more . So once that kind of settled and I looked at my stomach , I said , oh God , that's ugly . Matthew's never gonna look at me like that . We're never having sex with the light on again .
Don't look at my stomach To this day . Even Elkie yesterday she was doing something and she saw my stomach and she goes oh , mommy . And she kept pulling up my shirt and she goes your Frankenbelly's looking so good Because of the stitches that I look like I have a Frankenstein belly , so I called it the Frankenbelly . I did that so I could laugh at it .
Exactly laugh at it and just kind of not make fun , but just kind of laugh at the . Hey , this is what it is , and you know what ? It hasn't affected anything on my end at all and it's all perfectly fine , and I think that's one . Say it , tell your spouse hey , that's right , but show it too .
Yes .
Like I mean you can't go by me with that little squeeze on the butt .
Yeah .
Period .
Like we had to . You had to stop doing that because Cashman , like when he was five years old .
Yeah .
He would start doing that Like you would just do a little slap .
Mm-hmm .
And then this little hand would come by and go slap .
Whoa , that can't happen anymore .
Keep your hands to yourself Powers .
Because I like it . Now I want to show you like , hey , I'm mm-hmm , little squeeze , Little squeeze actually .
And now it's when the kids aren't looking . You're like , ooh you .
Mm-hmm , and that's okay , because I'm showing you like , hey , I'm still all in .
But I do it . The kids never repeated me , I don't know why . I guess because guys fart more than girls . I don't know , and they just didn't want to touch your butt . So every time I walk by you I'm like , ooh , that was a good one .
Maybe that's just because I do it a whole lot more than you would . I don't know .
But but you don't . Yours are not seen anymore .
No , but that's part of the funny games of a marriage is like , hey , you can pop and laugh and ha , ha , ha , and oh , that was a good one . I don't know if people do that enough .
I don't know . Well , you can walk by me and not do it and then go .
Like what's wrong with him ?
Why didn't he just touch my butt Exactly ?
But I think that kind of shows a healthy and fun marriage , like , hey , they still still have a lot of fun . So let me , let me wrap up with this question , because we do have to go , okay , kind of look into where we are now , because , man , things are so great and man , everything is like firing on all cylinders all the time .
It's awesome , and we're 40 years old now .
Yes .
And just kind of thinking back over the last 20 years or so , there was a point in time where you're
¶ The Joys and Growth of Marriage
not sure about getting married . Like no , I'm having my fun , I'm liking this and I'm getting to do this .
I'm having my cake and I'm eating it .
You're getting to do what you want to do and you're getting attention to this and that .
So I wanted to ask you , you know , if Doc Brown showed up today and he gave you the Delorean and said , hey , it's yours for the day , and you want to go back and visit 22 year old Monica , who was having a cake and eating it too , doing whatever she wanted to do and just living what she thought was life . What would you tell her about ?
Hey , this is what it's going to be and this is how amazing it is . What would you tell her like ? Hey , 22 year old you , who thinks everything is great and perfect and awesome , what would you tell 22 year old Monica ?
Yikes , besides the fact that she's an absolute idiot , I don't know that I could go back and change anything or would want me to change anything , just because , knowing all the things I know now , if I were to go back and tell her to do this one , would I have even listened , because it was my way or no way ?
Right .
But would it be as great as it is right now ?
See , and I feel this , I feel the exact same way . We put each other through hell . Yeah , and man , we did awful things and we were selfish and we were hateful , and boy we would , boy , we would go behind each other's back in a heartbeat .
But couldn't live without the other .
Couldn't live without each other . And boy , those were some looking , you know , during that time . Those times were miserable , yeah , and we were both so unhealthy .
We love . It was the craziest love hate situation .
Totally , but I totally agree . If I could go back and change any of it , I wouldn't , because I don't know that it would lead us to where we are and that may stand a little stupid and cliche , but in all honesty I would not go back and change one thing about it because I know where we are now .
Yeah , so the second part of that is what , in your eyes , has got brought our relationship from where it was then to what it is now .
Oh , that's a simple answer , god 100% . Not just a God , god of the universe , who sent his only son , jesus Christ , little baby Jesus .
Eight pounds , six ounce baby Jesus , newborn infant Jesus with his golden diapers . But no , it is once we , because we've slowly progressed in the last , you know , the first few , you know , years so of our marriage . We were slowly progressing towards something . But , man , once we and we knew who Jesus was .
You know we had that , but we didn't , we didn't know everything like we do now and we're not that deep , intimate relationship like now .
No , and after that boy , it just bam .
I felt like everything .
Of course , in high school you don't know all the things , but I was the big Jesus follower . I was voted most likely to become a pastor .
Yes , you were .
And most school spirit but it I would wear a shirt that's had Jesus on it and carry my Bible , all the first priority stuff . And I was the Jesus freak . Nobody remembers that by me .
Yeah .
And when I , when I left high school and went to college , got the attention that I never had before , that that's not something I ever expected . I was ready to get married right out of high school . And you're like no , I got to go to college , I got to get an education .
I need to get a good job , and I didn't care where I worked , what I did or anything , because I just wanted to nail you down . I was like this is , this is the guy , I know this is the guy . But then college happened and I got just a little bit of attention .
Then you want a little bit more and a little bit more and you're just you think you're having fun because you're getting all the wrong attention . You don't know that it's the wrong attention because you've never had this attention before . But in reality it's not the . It was just happiness that I was chasing , because I did not have joy . I knew what joy was .
And you got that happiness . And boy , oh boy , did you get it and get it , and get it and get it . But just as you got it , we go away and you need a little more , a little more , a little more to push you to edges that probably never intended to go , trying to seek that so ,
¶ Chasing Happiness and Finding Joy
but man , it's great now .
It is .
It's fantastic , but we got to go .
Okay , it's that time .
Basketball , let's go time .
Yeah , fun , I have fun with you . I always have fun with you . I love you , I love you more .
God , we love you , we're so thankful for what you're doing . Just pray over this podcast for all the ears that hear it , just to come closer to you , because it is you who changes everything and improves everything .
If we will just submit and give it all to you , the magic that you can work within ourselves , relationships cannot be comprehended by us and just the the , the trust we have in you . It's fully there , god . Just pray that this will reach the people that needs to reach . You're in full control of it and we give you full control of it .
And just thankful for what you're doing in Jesus name , amen .
Amen Thank you .