¶ Is Marriage Overrated? Marriage Decline Discussed
Here's a question for you Is marriage overrated ? Why aren't people getting married anymore ? A new Pew Research poll found that two in five young adults think marriage is an outdated tradition .
Marriage rates are at their lowest right now . Is marriage really even worth it ? More than half of marriages end in divorce .
If you get married , you have to be stuck with this person for the rest of your life . Right , that's why you get married . So that's why it's declining . Why would you get married if you don't , if you want to have just one partner ?
when you can have multiple .
Marriage is stupid .
Welcome to the Married AF Podcast , the self-proclaimed greatest marriage and relationship podcast in the world . We are your hosts , matthew and Monica Powers . Back for another new episode of the show how you doing baby .
The show .
The show . I thought that was a baseball . It is a baseball game . Cash plays it , he's playing it this morning . It's like Dad , I can't go yet had to end the inning . I'm playing the show .
Sorry , bud Dance recitals Don't wait .
No , they don't . He had to get over it . He'll survive . He can play it later . You can play it this summer . He can be his player and make it to the show , Cause I think that's what he's doing . He's doing the road to the show where he's a pitcher and he's trying to make but brand new episode . I got a few things .
People who divorce after less than a year of marriage . They're sharing why .
Interesting .
This ought to be a whole lot of fun . I have a social media thing I want to complain about , which will probably ruffle a lot of feathers , but I don't care , that's okay . But let's go . Gen Z Bible Just tell me when to stop . Stop . We're at Acts , chapter 11 . Here we go . We're at Acts , chapter 11 . Here we go .
Yo , the apostles and the homies in Judah heard that even the Gentiles were getting in on God's word action . So when Peter rolled up to Jerusalem , those who were all about the old tradition started giving him major grief . They were like yo , peter , you were chilling with those uncircumcised dudes and grubbing with them too .
But Peter was like hold up , let me break it down for y'all from the very beginning . You were chilling with those uncircumcised dudes and grubbing with them too . But people were just like hold up , let me break it down for y'all from the very beginning , step by step .
He was like I was in Joppa doing my prayer thing , and then I had this crazy vision , man , I saw this massive sheet coming down from the sky , held by four corners , and it came right to me and I was starting at it . Oh , I was staring at it , not , it came right to me and I was starting at it . Oh , I was staring at it , not starting .
Come on , powers , read . And I was staring at it and I saw all sorts of animals four legged creatures , wild beasts , creepy crawlies , the birds in the air . Then I heard this voice telling me yo , peter , get up and eat . And I was like nah , lord , I can't do that . I've never eaten anything that's not kosher or pure .
But then the voice spoke again in the sky saying don't be calling anything impure that God has made clean . And it happened three times , man . And then everything got sucked back up into heaven . And right then and there , three dudes showed up at the house where I was chilling . The Holy Spirit , straight up , told me to go with them , no doubt .
And to top it it off , I had six homies rolling with me and all went into the dude's crib . I love that one . Yo , peter , yo , pete , pete , pete . From my mind goes , it's so dumb .
Oh what you gotta rant about . I don't know about this all right .
So I saw this and I I'm not a huge social media person , but things just pop up . Sometimes it's like what are people thinking , you know ? And there's these things that pop up , men and women do it alike , and I don't know why , but it's more of a like hey woman , hey sister , listen to me , we're all on the same page .
How difficult things are , how hard marriage is , how tough motherhood is , how tough it is being a guy , how hard . And this one , it just bugs me . So this one says woman , here's what women do .
It's weird , my phone's ringing and it's on . Do not disturb , who is it ?
I have never Should we answer it ? Should we do it live on the air ? No , that might be interesting .
That would be scary All right .
So this one just says woman changes her name , changes her home , leaves her family , moves in with you , builds a home with you , gets pregnant . The pregnancy changes her body , she gains weight , almost gives up in the labor room due to the unbearable pain of childbirth . Even the kids she delivers bear your name , till the day she dies .
She does everything cooking , cleaning your house , taking care of your parents , bringing up your children , earning , advising you , ensuring you can be relaxed , maintaining all family relations , everything that benefits you , sometimes at the cost of our own health , hobbies and beauty . So who is really doing whom a favor ?
Dear men , appreciate the women in your lives always , because it's not easy being a woman . Being a woman is priceless . Okay , a lot of the . I get a lot of this stuff . Okay , yeah , all this , all this stuff happens , all right , but you post stuff like this , someone posts this and other women . You know they , they , they , they repost it .
You know they do that stupid thing , like thing , they do the clapping hand thing and like this right here and stuff like that . I'm like you need to pump the brakes with what you're reposting If I'm a husband and I read that and my wife has reposted this and I know the type of husband that I am . I know the things that I do .
Also , I know that this is a partnership and something that we do together . I'm pissed Because what you have done to give yourself a little pat on the back is saying I do everything my husband's worthless , he doesn't do anything . I did everything for him and he doesn't appreciate me at all and he is just being thrown under the bus .
And while I don't discount that , yes , a lot of this stuff is true and yes , there are a lot of relationships where this is the case and that is not okay , but I believe the vast majority of relationships aren't this . It's more of a partnership .
We hope so .
We hope so , and that's the way it should be . You know women submit to your husbands . Husbands , die for your wife means die to all the things that you like to do on your own for your wife's sake . Submit to the Lord or have a reverence for it . It's what the Bible teaches . It's the way it's supposed to be .
I know that it's not a level playing field , but when you post crap like this , it's not ever going to do anything good for your relationship . If anything , it's going to cause more problems , cause more issues . It's going to bring up more things that you haven't been prepared to talk about you .
Obviously , if you were feeling this way , you never spoke to your husband about this to begin with , and about you .
obviously , if you were feeling this way , you never spoke to your husband about this to begin with , and this kind of stuff drives me insane in sane . What's that look for ? I'm waiting for you to ask me how do I feel about something like this ?
and I don't want to throw women under the bus because men will do the same type of thing . Granted , there probably aren't many more things out there like this .
I don't know many that will post that onto media . No , they won't , but I know they exist .
And if you struggle with this stuff , man , social media is not the place to go .
No , all right Jesus .
Social media is not the place to go to air your dirty laundry . All right , stay off of social media . Give it to the phone , talk to someone who you're close with , talk to your freaking husband , have a conversation about it . But I see that type of stuff and the people who are like oh this is amazing , everyone needs to hear this .
I'm like like shut up , because this makes your husband feel like dirt , this makes your husband feel like crap , this makes your husband feel like man , she hates me , she thinks I'm worthless . She doesn't understand anything that I do during the day , and I think it's a very selfish look that I do during the day , and I think it's a very selfish look .
Drives me insane . You can go now . I'm going to give you a point of view that women that share that post and whoever wrote it .
And again are not . I know this happens .
Yes , it does .
However , drives me crazy , go ahead .
But I'm going to give you the version , or I'm going to give you , I guess , my two cents on the opposite of those women , how it makes me feel Okay feel Okay . Sister , did your husband hold a gun to your head and make you go to the Social Security Board to change your last name ?
No , no , hopefully not . If so , I mean , that's red flag number one . Just go ahead and call it quits .
You should have never probably , but no . And she complained about being getting fat . Are you getting fat because of a pregnancy ? Are you getting fat because of medication you're taking ? Because if you don't like being fat , get off your lazy butt and do something about it . Has nothing to do with your husband , sister . Your body changes after you have children .
Your body changes after you have children . That's not a secret and hasn't been since the beginning of time , when woman first started having children .
Also real quick . Yes , your body changes and it may look completely different than it had been before . Your husband still wants you badly . Your husband still loves your body . Your husband still wants to see you naked all of the time . This is a you thing . This is this and again , this is self-esteem .
Don't want to discount that at all , but if you were to ask your husband , he is still over the top in love with your body and the way that you look .
Yes , I'm not done though .
I know I , just I had one of the preface .
She talks about labor , pain and childbirth . Are you one of those natural people that just need to ? I am a woman . I need to feel all this .
Give me the drugs .
I feel nothing , didn't want to either .
And listen , if you do , if that is you don't complain about it .
I'm sorry I just raised my voice right there , but that pisses me off yep I'm not done either . She also goes on and he goes off to work . And is that wasn't that part of it where he would go ? He ?
gets he's , he's off at work he's off at work .
okay , let him go to work , because obviously you are doing nothing but sitting at home attempting to take care of kids , because you've got more important things to do , like write this stupid letter to all of the friends who you think that are just like you , but in reality he is dealing with people at work that he could probably care less about getting cussed
out left and right by his boss , probably doesn't want to be there , but he's doing all of that so you can sit on your butt and do posts like that at home this is true most men , when they're at work , would much rather be home exactly what was the other thing that she posted ?
um .
I've gotten all worked up and I've lost my train of thought you have um .
Just yeah , she does . She cooks , cleans , takes care of your parents , brings up your children . By the way , you're both it was 50 your fault advising you , ensuring you can be relaxed , maintaining all family relations , everything that that benefits you , sometimes at the cost of our own health , hobbies and beauty .
And while , while , yes , appreciate the women in your lives always , absolutely , men , you need to appreciate your women always .
That's not something .
But you don't appreciate her for all of these things . You don't appreciate her for all of these reasons you appreciate her because she's your wife .
And you are doing all of those things that you say you're doing . Just because you're doing them Does you say you're doing them Doesn't mean you're doing a good job at it .
True .
She probably needs to realize . If she were to go back into the real world , she would go back and take care of all of those things , cook and clean and raise his kids and take his name and take care of his parents and keep all the family things , because she couldn't hack it in the real world .
She can do all that stuff at home because she knows all these people already . I'm sorry , things like this piss me off . I know you were irritated by it , but ignorance is not bliss . There is way too much free education out there . Go read a freaking book . I'm allergic to stupid , yes , and that is just stupid . But I don't know who did that .
I didn't know anything about that , nope , but dear God , I pray that that is no one I know .
And if it is ?
please , for the love of God , do not tell me .
No , I don't think it was Not on air or wherever .
I don't ever want to know those people .
I saw this just maybe like a month or so ago .
I think my blood pressure is going up .
I'm like you know what we're going to talk about this one day , Because it is , and my viewpoint is of the husband . He feels like garbage now .
If he sees it .
If he sees that and he saw that report .
he feels like crap and if you don't like doing any of that , why'd you get it ? Why'd you start doing all of it in the first place ?
It's a partnership , so things like that can lead to divorce . However that's what we'll actually talk about today .
These are talking about divorce .
These are people who divorce after less than one year , and here are the reasons why .
Are these all celebrities ?
No , I mean , that's a lot of them . Let's see here , this is a fun one here , and then we'll kind of get into to dive into some of them .
¶ Marriage, Divorce, and Deception
And one night my beautiful life unraveled into a real nightmare . I found a three pound block of dope stashed in my winter clothes . I confronted my husband and he proceeded to confess to the following he had been an accessory to murder , he had been running drugs for almost the entire time we'd been together and he was cheating on me .
He topped it all off by hitting me with the first and last . By hitting me the first and last time . You only get to do that once .
You get to do that never you get to do that , never , never .
You look like that .
Never .
Here's one right here .
If you ever thought about hitting me , which I know is not true .
Nope .
Even the thought of it . You better hope , you think real hard that it knocks me out and kills me .
Because otherwise I'm a dead man .
You gone death .
A dead man . All right , here's one real quick that we've kind of talked about this stuff for Got divorced after only one year . Obviously , that's what the whole article is about . There were a different number of issues , but the main thing was he hadn't been honest with me about his desire to have children .
I told him up front when we were dating that I did not want children and he said he was fine with that . As soon as we got married he started pressuring me to have a kid . I wasn't going to do that , so I called it quits . When all was said and done , I asked him why he had married me , knowing he wanted children and I did not .
He said he thought I would change my mind Now that's usually reversed . It usually is reversed One .
this should always want to change the guy . Oh , if I can just be his wife , he'll change for me .
He'll change , not going to happen . Um thinking through this and being upfront and honest . You know this is something that should have really been laid out beforehand .
Um about , about the children and again , again , shame on him for thinking I could change your mind he's an idiot but I have to begin that maybe it was more on her side of not maybe being fully honest like I don't really want kids , instead of having that real adamant conversation , because most men again , most men , not all are very , we're very upfront .
Just don't beat around the bush . Give it to us like it is , you know , especially when talking with women . You know the whole , I'm fine , I'm fine , I'm fine . Just tell us and we can get that and we can move on with it . I have to believe in this situation that maybe she wasn't so upfront and clear about not wanting children . What ?
¶ [Ad] The Brief
I'm going to let you have your opinion , because we both did not want to have children .
We did not . I totally agree .
And we were hardcore in the first couple years . We're still not having children .
Yes , we were .
And Gigi , your mom was very mad about that .
Mm-hmm .
Because we are the oldest .
Yep .
Way older than the siblings , who would need to get married and have kids for them to become grandparents .
Very true .
So it would be even longer for them to become grandparents . We were hardcore against it .
¶ (Cont.) Marriage, Divorce, and Deception
We had careers , we wanted certain things in life before kids ruined it .
True .
And that's exactly how we felt . We currently have two .
They're amazing .
And at one point we had five .
Yes , it's a story we'll explain one day .
So I don't know what changed for us .
I think the unselfishness changed for us . We became much less selfish and realize that there's a lot more to life than just worrying about what's going to benefit me but if she only left because he wanted kids , I feel like that's a scapegoat well , it totally is a scapegoat . Oh , it totally is a scapegoat .
There's more to it , there's a whole lot more to it . She's saying , like the moment I found out , I called it quits . I said nope , enough is enough , we're done , it's over . I agree .
I think there's a whole lot more to it than just that , because if you love someone and you love them enough to get married , you're not just going to leave them because they want to have kids . You're not just going to leave them because they want to have kids . No , you're not . Your conversations are not all about let's have kids .
Your first year of marriage , you're having sex like crazy hopefully that goes beyond just I mean we're 16 years hopefully that goes well beyond just the first year for all of you to be on , you know , for ending that first year right now and going on the second . Trust me , it continues all . Right , you're good .
That first year right now and going on the second .
Trust me , it continues All right , you're good , but , yes , not for everybody . No unfortunately not , but they have problems that just get in the way .
They need to work on .
We're at year 16 and going strong .
Absolutely All right . I got two more real quick . What you got ? We were living in a suite at his parents' basement A . We were living in a suite at his parents' basement , a state over from where my family lives , about an hour away .
My parents were going away for a week and for a few of those days my husband was going to be in a training session for his new job . I decided I didn't want to be by myself in my in-laws so I decided to stay at my parents' house and catch up with my friends . The first night I invited my friend and her brother over .
He arrived first , she got off work at 11 , and we sat on the couch watching a show about dinosaurs .
How old was this brother Right ?
After about 45 minutes I heard the garage door open . I knew it was my husband Living . He was all aha . I knew my dad was right and you were cheating . You were a cheating floozy what a great word , floozy . He left , did some donuts in the front lawn and then called the police and said I was trying to kill myself .
So a whole squad of cops showed up and wouldn't believe me when I said I wasn't suicidal , although by this time I wasn't too far off . Over the next few months he cooled down and told me to get an apartment and a dog and he'd soon . He'd joined me soon .
I got the apartment and we went to weekly therapy sessions , after which we'd go on dates , partying tearfully and with plenty of making out . I could barely wait for him to join me in our new home .
But then last week , the last weekend of October , the social event of the season , the Halloween loop I went with a different friend , her fiance and his brother , who I never met and didn't know was coming . We ran into my husband and his friends . They were not unfriendly to me , but it was a little awkward .
So at the end of the , at the end of the day uh , five years later he suggested we get back together and I laughed at him . So five years of back and forth , back and forth , back and forth . So she didn't want to stay at the in-laws' house by herself . No husband there , I get it .
She can go stay at her parents' house , invites her friend and her friend's brother over . Brother shows up first and they're just chilling alone on the couch watching TV .
And the garage door opens and she knew it was her husband .
At her parents house Doesn't make any sense at all .
None of this story makes sense .
I want to throw up a red flag and say that she may have been up to no good .
Five years . Of all of this and there's no kids involved and you're trying to work this out . Baby girl , stop lying to yourself .
It's ridiculous .
You're hooking up with anybody that's going to give you some . Obviously You've got your own apartment to do what you want to .
Because then on Halloween she's going out with someone else her fiance .
Somebody else's brother .
She's got a problem with brothers . Alright , last one . I'm going to make you laugh real quick . Got a divorce in less than a year . Hold on , let me get back to it real quick , because this is a doozy that you're just going to laugh , if I can find it .
Okay .
Give it to me Jeopardy .
Are you done yet ? No , I've been past it you had plenty of time to write your answer .
I did , I did . Ken is going to kick me out . Ken's going to say oops , sorry man .
You didn't get to answer the question , you had negative dollars .
I didn't make it to final Jeopardy , all right , right . I'll just go to what the title of it all said , and I agree . This is a total reason to to end in divorce . She tasted strongly of semen . I too would be getting a divorce if my wife tasted strongly of semen .
Secondly , secondly , no , before you say . Secondly First , how does he know what semen tastes ?
like that's what I was going after . I don't know . I figure after a rant about social media , we might as well end this on
¶ Divorce Over Strong Semen Taste
a funny note .
There's not that reason as to why we don't know , but I have strong suspicions this is a clean show . I'm not gonna say anything else , say that for the after time , after show .
I'm gonna ask you this question after , though . Oh , please do . All right , we got to go .
I don't know if I can not laugh while you pray .
Just mute your mic and get you out of here . All right , we gone . God , we love you so much , even in the funny times . Um , listen , you present all this and we're thankful for it . In the serious matter , just want to pray over everyone who hears this . God , let it reach the people it needs to .
Let us be a light and just work through us in all we do In Jesus' name , amen , amen .
Play ball .