¶ Is Marriage Overrated? Marriage Declining Trends
here's a question for you is marriage overrated ? Why aren't people getting married anymore ? A new pew research poll found that two and five young adults think marriage is an outdated tradition marriage rates are at their lowest right now .
Is marriage really even worth it ? More than half of marriages end in divorce .
If you get married , you have to be stuck with this person for the rest of your life , right ? That's why you get married , so that's why it's declining . Why would you get married if you don't ? If you want to have just one partner when you can have multiple Marriage is stupid .
Welcome to the Married AF Podcast , the self-proclaimed greatest marriage relationship podcast in the world . We are your hosts , matthew and Monica Powers , and I feel like I have been misled my entire life with what I want to talk about today , like forever .
I think misled's a .
I don't know if it's misled , but we just All right . So I read some scripture it may have even been a month or so ago and it just just caught me , ripped me , ripped you . Deep in my soul , deep in my heart , like holy crap , I've been doing it wrong my entire life . I've been lied to .
This isn't what I've been told forever and ever , and I just have not been able to shake that feeling . So we started talking about it and I thought this was a good conversation for us to have .
Well , we were having the conversation and I just looked at you . Should we just do this as a podcast , because this is more of a discussion ?
It's becoming more and more the case with our conversations .
I think I just kept asking you questions and you're not Okay .
Well , yeah , but no , but yes and yes , I'm just not quite sure , and we'll get to that in just a second , as we're closing out 2024 , when this comes out , this is it . 2024 is at a close .
This will come out on December 21st , december 31st , 2024 , the last day of 2024 , and what a year it has been for married af yeah , it's um I'm not sure what you're pulling out . Mind-boggling the the mind the the downloads guys . Thank you so much . Who , who ? Watch who listen , who watch ? We're over 13,000 subscribers on YouTube .
What does that even mean ? That's insane .
We're getting 20,000 or so views per video , and that is all because of you guys . We cannot say thank you enough . It is humbling , it is unexpected , way unexpected . We never expected this when we started this , what we found . We started this podcast almost exactly one year after we launched the small group that turned it into a podcast .
2025 , in September , will be the fourth year , but really the second year , that we've consistently done something with it . But it's been incredible and we cannot thank everyone enough who listens to Washes in 2021 . 2021 .
2021 .
We started this and it was hey , let's do an episode , let's go a few months , all right , we'll do something else . There was no consistency .
We've been pretty consistent over this last year , because I didn't want you to do a podcast .
And it's been incredible and we cannot thank everyone enough for liking , subscribing , watching , commenting , just all of it . We're so , so thankful for that as we close out 2024 into a wonderful 2025 , not for us , but for every single one of you .
Yes , I just want to say thank you to Los Angeles . Los Angeles , california .
That's number one .
Never in a million years would I have expected Los Angeles , California .
No , not at all .
That is 26% of listeners .
Those are from LA .
Number two shocked me just as well , and they are at 23% Dang .
Yeah , new York City . 23% .
Dang yeah , new York City .
Look at that the two biggest cities in the United States .
What , thank you Holding at one and two and number three . They're holding strong at 12% San Jose , california and holding strong at 10% of listeners Chicago Illinois .
Look at that People must love a Southern accent . Maybe , so , Maybe that's what it is .
I guess so . But then there's Dallas is under Chicago , and then Miami Florida .
Wow , unbelievable . As we close out a year , all we can say is humbling and thank you , thank you , thank you 82,000 downloads on the podcast . Unbelievable .
Like for all time .
Never in a million years would we have expected that . All glory goes to God . He's the one who's taken this , he's the one who wanted to do something with this , and we've said from the get-go , let it reach the ears that need to hear it , and God , whenever you're done with it just let us know we'll be done with it .
We'll move on to the next thing that you want us to do . So I cannot say thank you enough for all of that . But back to this . As we close out the year , it just wrecked me . I was like this . I've been doing it wrong my whole life , and what it was was Isaiah , chapter 40 , and it starts in verse three .
It says a voice of one calling in the wilderness prepare the way for the Lord , make straight in the desert a highway for our God . And it was that sentence in the wilderness , you prepare a way for the Lord Forever .
We've always been told , we've always been taught , we've always been led to believe , which is it's all true that God's making a way for me , god's preparing a place for me , god's preparing the way for me , god is leading the way for me , god is leading the way for me . And while all that is true , we don't talk about prepare a way .
Hey you , hey powers , you go , prepare a way for the Lord . And when I thought about it , it made me question like well , am I doing that ? Because we see John the Baptist do that for Jesus . John the Baptist , he was there to prepare the way for the Savior of the world , for the Messiah , and he did . But how well do I prepare the way for Jesus ?
Am I doing all I can do to prepare the way ? Now , I know he's doing the stuff for me , but am I doing anything to prepare the way ? And it made me think how me-focused am I that maybe I'm not preparing a way , maybe I'm just sitting back and saying , god , you do it , you prepare the way for me , I will follow which we're supposed to follow .
But what am I doing ? And I just it's been on my mind for a month .
And I guess I started kicking back with . Well , doesn't that mean ? I mean , think about , we're fishers of men now .
We are and I think that's kind of where it goes to is , you know , the Great Commission . Jesus says go into the world and make disciples of all nations , and that's exactly what we're supposed to do .
How well am I doing that , because I think that's where this relates back to is how well am I doing that , because I think that's where this relates back to is how well am I preparing a place for the lord to work , not not just for me . You know , more of him , less of me , is essentially what it boils down to .
If I think we had to take it down to the most granular level , is less of me , more of he , period I .
But then I started saying well , isn't that the same thing as making disciples ?
it should be , I think , because that's ultimately what jesus is . He's told us to do go into the world and make disciples of all nations and I have pulled out like every you got notebook , notebook upon notebook upon notebook .
I take a lot of notes .
Yes , and you're old school , you take notes , notes .
I am paper and pen Totally and I have books from I think this is 2019 , 2021 here 2020 , 2022 .
It looks like it didn't make it down here . You had the 2017 .
I did not bring down this 2017 one . Uh , this one might be a 2021 too , but when you started , you said something that sparked my brain and I said just hold that thought .
I just got up and walked away you did and you're like oh , look an old iphone . Oh my gosh , look old ipads .
I had to move all of those to get to my long list of notes that I've taken . I take notes every Sunday and every experience I go in I take notes .
Every Sunday , every meeting , every conference , everything . You're taking notes of what's going on .
If I go into meetings or small groups or anything like that . I will keep it in whatever year that I am Check this out . This was Easter Sunday of 2021 . Looks like Cashman sat in with me .
And Drew .
Had pictures .
He sure did . It's like a football game , a guitar , an Easter bunny .
An Easter bunny a guitar .
I don't know .
But this Easter bunny has a beard . He does hey listen , but I take notes , even if I've already heard the message . I put the times Like this one right here . That's open right now .
it says powers , practicing you used to go over your messages with me before . I used to go over the messages in the living room beforehand .
I would just write everything down , like I was taking notes , like I was in church . I would help you . You don't want to say that out loud .
You're like oh , please don't say that .
Here's one . This was a 9 am . This was same date 10 15 . So we have the 9 , 10 , 15 and 11 30 if I sit through every single one , I will take notes and I will write down the time . So yes , these are very much detailed .
Very detailed . But when I said that , when you said something .
I don't remember what it was . I just said hold , that thought Like this is a Jackie Perry Hill small group that I did years ago .
You questioned . You know why do you feel that way ? Why ? And then just bam , you're like I've got . I need to go grab my notes .
Hold that thought and just walked away . I had to move all the things to get to all of these because there's a lot of information .
There is .
In all of these , but the one thing that stuck out to me when I asked you do you think you're doing enough ? Like what are you ? What are you doing ? Like , do you think you are ? Yes , of course sometimes , but why do you think you're not ? And the word that you said was because being selfish yes that made me go straight to 2020 .
This is just how my crazy brain works , but it was a , you know , when the whole world shut down , I did a six weeks course with Rick Pino and , man , I have pages upon pages upon pages of notes . You know those sticky one-liners that those sticky statements .
I love those , and the one that the whole six weeks honestly stood out to me when you were saying that , yeah , sometimes I do , sometimes I don't think I'm doing enough , but you're not . The reason why you don't think so and why many people probably don't lead that way is because they're selfish .
Yeah , it's very me-centered when you leave church on a Sunday .
It ends there for most people . Most people believe an hour a week is all that I need , but all I could think of was about all of these sticky statements that came to mind but yes , this is all referring to worship , but that also made me think of leading the way yeah , well , when you were .
when you lead worship , you're leading other people into worship . It's not a performance for people to enjoy . It's that it's preparing the way for people to encounter Jesus . That's what worship's all about .
Okay , so this sticky statement was the first one that I read to you , and then that's when I said should we just go downstairs and make this a podcast ? Don't cling to something so tight because of an ego , because you could miss out on the things God has for you to move on and move up . Be intentional .
I think that's a huge statement , because our ego is our ego can hold us back from a whole lot of things , and because we are selfish and it's our human nature , we want to feel good about ourselves , we want to be encouraged , we want to be told hey , you're doing a good job . We want to be seen , we want to be recognized because it just it feels good .
So , yeah , how many times have we let our ? Well , I want to make sure that I get recognized and I want to be seen and I want to make sure I get this out of this circumstance that we're completely missing . We're completely missing the point . We're missing what God has in store for us .
We're looking over here for validation when God's over here , saying , man , there's something much bigger over here . If you would just turn your stupid face away from that and look this way . So , yeah , being intentional I think being intentional of every moment that we possibly have to take the focus off of us and put the focus on him .
¶ Preparing the Way for the Lord
I'm just going to read all of this right here . It ain't about you .
That's an impossible statement for us to really grab a hold of .
I know people don't think about . When it comes to this .
Also just anyone listening . Take that tough one to heart right there . It ain't about you . It ain't about you . This life ain't about you . Your relationship's not about you . Your marriage , your job none of this stuff is about you .
¶ [Ad] The Brief
People don't necessarily see , or maybe people who are on the worship team do . But if you're not in a leading position or you just like the music that is on a Sunday , you don't think about things as being intentional with worship . Kick your worship level up to 10 . The Bible doesn't tell us to be about fear and depression .
You can't worship if you're worried or you have any kind of anxiety , or you have any kind of anxiety If you can't worship .
¶ (Cont.) Preparing the Way for the Lord
Well , you can't worship If you are worried about what people think of you and what you look like . And if you stay worried , you ain't using the power of praise . That is a way to lead Someone . Necessarily , because you're leading people is saying what are you doing to make the way for what was it ?
Make . Prepare the way for the Lord .
So I see this in worship , and maybe this is the only way I can break it down in a sense , because with worship I learned that there are three types of people when it comes to worship .
There's are three different elements and , um , the first one is a prophetic worship , when you have the spirit of prophecy the right thing at the right time , just something that everybody needs and then you have priestly worship . Are those people who worship God first ? They have the vertical worship . They don't have the horizontal worship . Are you doing this ?
Because all the people that are here watching you do this ? Those aren't those people . They have the vertical worship .
That's straight to God , our worship is for an audience of one . Yes , that's it .
It's me and God .
That's it .
And I'm trying really hard to push that towards our son , to let him know that it is okay , even when he's in there with me . I'm worshiping big . Now I will see his hands , you know , right here at times , and then if anybody's close around , he doesn't want people to see . No , he's not the center of attention guy and I get that .
But what I'm praying over him is that he knows that it's just between him and God . What everybody else around does not matter .
No , you're worshiping for one and one only you're worshiping for one and one only .
It says there will always be people with a horizontal worship and they need that to get across that to the ministry . They need to be on that platform , but that is not necessarily a person who is actually leading . That's a me moment , this , and if you have those people on the worship team , you can absolutely see that .
But a vertical worship is always greater . Now the third one is a kingly worship . This is the person who is filled with the Holy Spirit who raises everyone up in worship and they push others forward and knowing that they will do greater things than you could ever do . It's . They are the ones that you just know .
You can look at someone that's on the platform and there's one person that comes to mind more than any other person , and I know a lot of people in our worship team and I don't want anyone to get offended , but our friend , angela Schaefer , just screams kingly worship In every way possible . Everything that she does , even her hugs , are magical .
And I don't like people hugging me . When I watch her worship , especially on the platform , it seems it's a hey , I'm about to go worship god , I'm grabbing all y'all , y'all coming with me . Let's go . You know , every single one of you . Come on , jump on my back . I'm carrying every one of you with me . Let's go .
I I totally agree with that we have been on the platform together , side by side , before , and we I said y'all got in trouble , didn't ? You . We've gotten trouble . Y'all can't be together . Y'all gonna be separated but since that last time we have not been on worship together .
I was just , I think y'all even like , gave each other a high five in the middle yes , jesus , we were not staying in our light .
We were supposed to stay in there , you know and you're in your little area like , after that first experience , they came up to us and go okay , you see these , it's okay this way , but not this way . But that right , there was kingly worship .
That was us leading full hearts , all on god for that vertical worship nobody else mattered , and that's when you explain that .
that's what I see for . Prepare the way for the Lord , make straight in the desert a highway for our God so God can reach everyone else , especially in our own lives .
The way I take this and kind of what I've been wrestling with with it is am I creating a path in my life and how I lead my life for anyone who comes in contact with me at all , for Jesus to have access ?
Well , I'll be honest . You've read this to me multiple times before we came down to do the podcast yeah , probably a dozen times in the last hour but when you read it for the listeners , it also hit me in a different way , besides worship okay read the first part of it , like the first half of it a voice of one calling , calling in the wilderness .
Prepare the way for the Lord .
There . When you read that , when you said wilderness , what's a wilderness ? Places that are untouched , Places that most people have never been or been a part of it's . Nobody knows what's going on there . My first thought when you said that was holy crap , that's me .
That's exactly what I do when I feel like , or it's what I feel like when I walk into the halls of a high school . That's a wilderness Because we've removed God from all the schools . There's no church and school . When we removed all of that , we removed corporal punishment , We've removed all of these things and the schools continue to get worse .
That should be your first sign . Hey , that is a wilderness . Nobody wants to go there . It's full of things that we don't know . We are scared to conquer it .
Well , if it's a wilderness , it's the unknown . Yeah , and we're terrified of the unknown , nobody wants to deal with it . No one wants to be the first man in . You go and then I'll follow .
And maybe that's where a lot of this has come from , because , again , it's always been the , the talk , and what we've always been taught is the lord will prepare the way and then you follow .
And I think we're more comfortable with okay , god , you go first , and once you , once you clear everything out and scare all the bad guys away , make sure the path is clear , then then I'll walk through that .
But this is saying , hey , in the wilderness , which I love your explanation of it , the wilderness is the untouched , the unknown , the places where God has not been reached yet , the people he hasn't come in contact with yet .
Feels like what our backyard is right now .
Yeah , the people who are so far separated from him . Hey , you powers , you whoever's listening . You have a better opportunity to prepare the way in the wilderness than I would by myself . Because of the relationships that you may have with these people or some sort of influence you may have with these people . I will never be let in .
But if you go and you prepare the way for me , watch what I can do . Yeah , I'm preparing the way for you . I've got you covered . I've won the war . You got nothing to worry about . I'm going to protect you . It's going to be hard , but if you go into this untouched area , because you're more likely to get there than I am , you do that .
Watch what I can do from there .
Maybe that helps you out just a little bit .
Maybe it does a little bit , but it still makes me think okay .
Are you doing enough ?
Time to reflect . What am I actually doing to make sure that I can prepare the way ? Or am I sitting back saying , okay , God , you go and I'll follow ?
Maybe we need to do a new end of the year tradition type of thing For us . I always put together a video of all the things we got to do this year . It's a I don't know three or four minute of pictures and slides and little videos of all the things we get to do that are fun to outweigh all the bad things .
Because the bad things don't make it and the bad things are there .
don't let anyone think that they're not there . 2024 was a hard year for us . Yeah , and guess what ?
maybe 2025 will be at some time too , it's never going to change . But that's the enemy coming in , because we are in the wilderness , leading even when we don't know it and yeah , and I I agree with that , and maybe this does help me a little bit and just makes me want to think okay , what more ?
What more do I need to do to make sure that I'm that , that I'm doing this , that I'm preparing the way ? Maybe we need to do to make sure that I'm doing this , that I'm preparing the way .
Maybe we need to make a list of things that we know , because how often do we do that ?
Not often I need to go prepare the way . So how do I do that ? It boils down to it's not about me , Less of me , more of him , Trusting in him that hey , this wilderness looks scary and this is untouched , and I don't know what's going to happen here .
But I'm not going to be afraid because I know God , you already won the war , it's over , Victory is yours . You tell us you're coming back . You tell us you got our back .
Has he ever let me down before ?
No , and he's never gonna . So why would I be led to believe that he's gonna do it this time ? Go into the wilderness , prepare the way for the lord , because that is how we make heaven a bigger place yep okay , hopefully that was helpful for somebody . It was helpful for me at least .
I least I've been wrestling with that for a month , like what am I doing anywhere near enough to do what God needs me to do , or am I just sitting back riding his coattails ?
Maybe it's time for you to go on that mission trip . I've been begging you to go on for years .
Boy oh boy .
Come into the wilderness with me . Powers .
We better close this out . Close out 2024 . Any final thoughts for 2024 ?
Do we keep going in 2025 ?
If God wants it , he will make a way .
Numbers have been screaming at us .
Hopefully this helps people , hopefully people continue to listen , but mostly hopefully people are able to see Jesus through this Some way , somehow .
Not us .
And just get closer to him , Because if you're going to take any of this away from how to work it into your relationship more of your spouse , less of you .
It's not about you .
If anything . I know we haven't been touching hard on marriages , particularly over the last few weeks ,
¶ Looking Forward to 2025
maybe even more so episodes , but I think all this really pertains to create a better relationship with your spouse . If we take these principles and we move forward , Goodbye 2024 . Hello 2025 .
That's about the only thing I'm going to say goodbye to .
Goodbye 2024 . It's gone .
It'll never come back , because I always say goodbye is forever and you can't go back . No , we can't . Goodbye 2024 .
Until Doc Brown shows up with that Delorean .
I won't go back .
We're all set . No , alright , let's be done . Okay , god , we love you . God , we are thankful for all that you do . We're thankful for this platform , we're thankful for another year and we're looking forward to the next year . Our prayer , as always , is this will reach the ears that need to hear it , today's word from you , god .
I hope it helps somebody , hope someone is able to understand what that means and can go a little bit further in their walk with you , and maybe they can prepare a way for you . I know it did a lot for me . Hopefully it did for someone else . God , we're just so thankful for what you do .
We do not deserve it , we cannot earn it , but boy , are we ever , ever , gracious and grateful for you . We love you and we thank you in Jesus' name .