Welcome to the Weird Al vs. Everybody season of MASTAS! We're looking at a couple dozen Weird Al Yankovic songs and the originals that inspired him, and choosing a winner in each match-up -- starting with Coolio homage "Amish Paradise"! Before we get into self-serious videos for movies we think might be fake, cultural appropriation of pre-tech societies, and how Stevie Wonder feels about our swearing, we've got an important announcement about voting and future in-person events...but then we're b...
Jan 29, 2024•23 min
The competition is over, but the discussion of comeback songs isn't -- and today's is about comebacks in the answer/clapback sense. Seven "answer" songs come under the MASTAScope, as well as the frequency with which Neil Young is told to shut it, Bavaria's unexpected move to Ireland, the Judy Cycle opera we need to see, and pop songs that have become microplastics in their ubiquity. Vaseline those teeth and have a listen. Our outro for today's episode is by Neil Young. For more information/to be...
Dec 04, 2023•50 min
It's time to declare a winner -- the definitive pop-music comeback song -- but the road to the final result is a twisty one. "Believe" and "Walk This Way" each crystallize the concept of the comeback, but in different ways, so to help us choose, we're watching videos, discussing the synecdoche of Cher, rummaging through a bin of PhD-thesis topics, and resisting arithmetic. Is the outcome predictable, or precedent-setting? AutoTune a drum roll and listen! Our intro is an LL Byrne J mash-up, and o...
Nov 27, 2023•25 min
The semifinal round is, while somewhat predictable, still full of ups and downs, including Spelling Bee's interest in our works and days, the way Adam Lambert takes and gives meaning, how far is far enough for a song we actively dislike, Latin-phrase drag names, scary puppets, and reader comments! Sorry about the sweaty-Reagan reference; distract yourself with our penultimate DCIAC episode. Our intro is an LL Byrne J mash-up, and our outro is by Edie Brickell & New Bohemians. For more inform...
Nov 20, 2023•34 min
We're down to eight great comeback songs; which ones will join the Do Call It A Comeback season's Final Four? We're quoting Wayne's World , we're putting things in plaid place out of eight, we're remembering upsetting Beatles gifts, we're adding salt to temp tracks, and we're wondering why it so often seemed like nobody cared about Laura Branigan's reputation. Transmitting live-to-tape from the floor of the Utah legislature while on a date with Bonnie Raitt, it's Mark And Sarah Talk About Songs!...
Nov 13, 2023•47 min
The Sweet 16 is here, along with the return to numbered rankings...and the unkindest cuts of all, plus another Auto-Tune justice conversation, myriad matrices, Tracy Chapman's post-nineties Flintstones car, 92.5% of Cher's butt, unpleasant flashbacks to the sophomore dance, and the long wait for a muffin basket from Nick Rhodes. Quick, before another UHF quote-fight breaks out -- walk THIS way to hear our latest episode! Our intro is an LL Byrne J mash-up; our interstitial music is by Beck, and ...
Nov 06, 2023•1 hr 17 min
We're taking a quick break before the emotional press of the Sweet 16 to talk about a handful of "off-label" comebacks: award-winners, kids' songs, comebacks only we noticed, and more. We wonder whether it's possible to have been too big to truly come all the way back ; we contemplate a truly catastrophic remix of self-loathing; and we bemoan sad computers, unfortunate spiritual-title phrasing, and Jackwagon Wenner. Got some snitty advice for dead people? Us too! Get on board! Our intro is an LL...
Oct 30, 2023•54 min
Mark's spreadsheet of history has spoken: we're choosing the rest of the Do Call It A Comeback season's Sweet 16 this week! From the top of the pallet of improbable late-'80s comeback songs, we're surveying the joyful geeky dance of Robin Gibb, the 20 percent of our income we owe to Duran Duran, the most tiresomely groovy Ben & Jerry's flavors, Canadian spellings, and what's playing when we're drinking a Crystal Light at the hotel spa. What would The $1.98 Video Show have looked like? Find o...
Oct 23, 2023•1 hr 1 min
The Round Of 32 is underway! After a brief chat about our head-vs.-heart processes in this round, we descend into the valley of the shadow of twos: struggling to come up with the word "metamorphosis," confronting the history of Auto-Tune, measuring levels of exposure to Britpop, and planning a community-college class on interpretive dance. Everybody's got their Limburger, we also learn -- what's yours? Grab a thesaurus and your most exhausting album title and have a listen. Our intro is an LL By...
Oct 16, 2023•1 hr 1 min
The last 15 songs have entered the comeback fray, along with Nickelodeon dominance, stinky vocals in classic songs, what Clive Davis is drinking while he waits for artists at a crossroads, perfect blends of horniness and intelligence, and what happens when you drop John Belushi's Joe Cocker imitation in a vat of AI. Should Bob Dylan live in a saguaro in Joshua Tree and other questions for the ages, as we wrap up the first round of our definitive-comeback season! Our intro is an LL Byrne J mash-u...
Oct 09, 2023•1 hr 12 min
It's the second half of the first round, and some of our toughest choices yet, as we struggle with how comebacks used to look in a monoculture; human Razzie Awards; the comeback-osity of an "X featuring Y" track; why J. Lo never seems to be having fun; weird H.W. Bush presidency detritus; returns from '70s banishment; and what exactly we have to do to get fake fade-outs in pop songs outlawed. Throw on a Nauset Warriors ringer tee; it's time for an all-new MASTAS. Our intro is an LL Byrne J mash-...
Oct 02, 2023•1 hr 24 min
The next 15 songs in our definitive-comeback-song season storm the booth! Sometimes the song is coming back to the podcast from a previous season; sometimes our lunch is coming back on us thanks to cynical bongo glurge; and sometimes we're wondering if there's a portrait of Jeff Lynne in an attic somewhere? Execrable album-only tracks, the supergroup conundrum, market forces' inability to control a film soundtrack, how you score the montage during The Big Game, and our joint memoir, Morbid Tales...
Sep 25, 2023•1 hr 16 min
What is the most representative comeback song in pop history? Our Do Call It A Comeback season will find out...and we have been here for years, thinking about the philosophical definition of a comeback, great creative leaps forward, when B-plus vocals lead to A-plus artistry, the middle-school melodrama of '70s supergroups, savvy collaborations, and how MTV brought the '60s into the Reagan era. Put up a Successories poster and slap it out with a new MASTAS season! Our intro is an LL Byrne J mash...
Sep 18, 2023•1 hr 34 min
It was a winding road from our #FirstNameBasis finale to our favorite jock jams, but we hope y'all ARE ready for this contemplation of sporty hype tracks -- as well as county fairs, Snuffy Smith, Yankee Stadium's unpredictable PA loyalties, which song is the ur-JJ, the apparent international exchange program at work in early JJ albums, early-'90s rappers who are both ignorant of and apathetic towards decent flow, NKOTB's "hard" period, and Gary Glitter in purgatory. Strike it up, Cotton-Eye Joes...
Jul 24, 2023•40 min
Whoooo's number ooooone? (BA BA BAAAAAA!) That's not a spoiler, by the way, so you'll have to listen to our First-Name Basis finale to find out which name song is the most iconic of all time -- and also what SDB's grandma called farts, differing sources of iconicity, listener testimony from an Eileen, which song has a reliable narrator, and when the "M" in "MILF" stands for "Monkee." Season picks crash and burn, we split babies and bemoan overalls...it's the usual chaos and kismet, and it's (sor...
Jul 17, 2023•52 min
The rankings only get more challenging as the First-Name Basis season confronts its Top 20 -- as well as iconic pop numbers, Jersey "law," unholy mash-ups of finalist songs, the cease-and-desist letter SDB should expect any moment now from Laura Branigan's estate, and your co-hosts ranking themselves 21st at remembering to play all the clips. Liza, Yoda, "Cocaine," and avant-garde math: beat back those man-eating Casio vines and join us! Our intro is [deep breath ] Elliott Smith, Ben Folds, Andr...
Jul 10, 2023•1 hr 11 min
Welcome to the intermission of our First-Name Basis season -- in which we're contemplating important songs with more than one name in them, and ranking them, too! And while this ep is dropping in the middle of the season, we actually recorded it first, so if it seems like we're working through our metrics for what's iconic when it comes to name songs...we are! Time is a flat pop chart! We're also talking about disco murder ballads, the underrepresentation of men's names in this season, why John ...
Jul 03, 2023•1 hr
We're finishing out the Top 40 in our First-Name Basis season with an all-timer set of 10 songs: all three of the songs your co-hosts and their husbands picked to win the whole season, and the diabetic garbage that's been torturing SDB for decades. We're also discussing mall anchor restaurants, the peak period of cinema-storyline videos, enduring bobby-soxer cuteness, startlingly low chart performance, and whether "fap-fap-fap" is in fact an emotion. Tie down that swingset and join us for an all...
Jun 26, 2023•47 min
"Mark and Sarah: why ya buggin'?" Why aren't we buggin' in the third ep of our First-Name Basis season: the weird fade-out during Barry Manilow's "Mandy"-ending glory note, "Mary"-song vote-splitting, SEO retitling, cheerleader moxie, the all-killer-no-filler pop charts of 1984, and Reality Bites as a crystal ball into adulthood. We're also craving Girl Scout cookies and honoring Wilson Pickett's narrative restraint as we continue crafting the season's Top 20, so call up your Aunt Khaleesi and t...
Jun 19, 2023•55 min
The second batch of 10 songs is raising tough questions for our First-Name Basis season, like: Does difficult subject matter preclude a song from moving on? How can you tell if a songwriter has never lived in NYC...and how drunk WERE the Kingsmen? Would Rick Springfield REALLY just pine for some lady? We also fondly remember You Can't Do That On Television , pay tribute to Weird Al Yankovic, and save you from Succession finale spoilers, so if you can't hear the drums, turn up the volume on Episo...
Jun 12, 2023•44 min
Our First-Name Basis season is underway! Our mission: to identify the most iconic song associated with a first name. But how? It starts right here, as we look at the first 10 in our FNB Top 40 and decide which songs/names move on to the next round. Along the way, we make predictions, remember Just One Of The Guys and American Crime Story , stand too close to you with Chardonnay breath, re-scan upstate towns to fit into country songs, and pay tribute to the car trips and roller rinks of our youth...
Jun 05, 2023•55 min
The Record Of The Year Showdown comes down to this...and there's not a ton of surprises here, probably, but there IS the wall of history, the wisdom of (drunk, stoned New York City) crowds, shared musical language, the "Somebody" multiverse, and Sarah's zombie mom. So, you know: Monday. Everyone's a winner in the battle of head vs. heart as we crown a ROTY champion in our season finale. Our intro is by Whitrew Byrnston, and our outro is by the Pet Shop Boys. For more information/to become a patr...
Mar 20, 2023•31 min
Mark's shenanigans aside, we had an easier time ranking our semifinal group than we'd expected -- but we didn't necessarily expect to go on a sentimental journey with TLC, Sarah Palin's nephew LARP Jr., cutesy Aretha, braided beards, and an open invitation to Gotye to come on/edit the podcast. But a full moon and Sarah's all-covers clip choices put us on the emotional road to our season finale. Don't worry, we will still always love you (and have not gotten killed by John Ramos) in our penultima...
Mar 13, 2023•46 min
"This'll be cinchy! [ cut to: sobbing ]" We thought we'd have a more straightforward time of our quarterfinal rankings, but alas, no. We did have a Whitney-koan reader mail, a visit from Katharine Hepburn, the aural equivalent of a sped-up Bob Ross episode, and music-minister shout-outs before Julio got the stretch and carted off four more beloved songs. Grab a fine-tooth comb and join us for Episode 8 of the Record Of The Year Showdown. Our intro is by David Gregory Byrne with an assist by Whit...
Mar 06, 2023•50 min
More like the BITTER-sweet 16, the episode that forces hosts and listeners alike to make terrible choices, as well as rank things politically, salute album-cover pets of yore, choose which Adele hills to die on, pit Henry Mancini against Leonard Nimoy, mourn the consensus "blech," and dodge the ire of John Ramos whilst deploying Emilio Estevez fist-pumps. Is today a "Beat It" day, or is Sunny coming home to Mark Ronson's name on her mailbox? Lace up those skates, boo: it's Episode 7 of the Recor...
Feb 27, 2023•59 min
The Round Of 32 is a plot-heavy affair: Coldplay premonitions, beautiful German cheese, learning to love advisedly off-putting pop, and songs that grab you by the nip. As the decisions get more agonizing, Aunt Doreen punches Grampy Blankenship in the face, and we discover that the ghost in the machine is -- and will continue to be -- Whitney. Get ready to scramble a goose egg; it's the second half of the ROTYS Sweet 16. Our intro is by Laura Barger and Jack Baldelli, and our outro is by Whitn-- ...
Feb 20, 2023•39 min
The Round Of 32: where the choices get tougher and the cheeses get lonelier. We're writing Back To The Future /Babybel fan-fic, analyzing palimpsest layers, appreciating Bobby Darin's interpretive skills (and apologizing to Jerry Orbach), and wondering who's going to do a better job of seducing Sarah, Mrs. Robinson or Toto. What song is a red-wine drunk? Who burned off their eyelashes in seventh grade? We're looking for answers -- and half of the ROTYS Sweet 16. Our intro is by Andrew Byrne, and...
Feb 13, 2023•58 min
It's the final section of our Record Of The Year Showdown Round Of 64! The Grammys get more of a clue, albeit seemingly by accident, here in the 21st century, and we're talking about that, plus the late Shows Of Note, editorial thrills in dinosaur/country-fiddle pairings, farts over a xylophone, our favorite generic bands, the schmaltz hinge point, songs that need their videos in order to work, and phannntommm-adjacent content. Who is this millennium's Anne Murray? Find out in the season's fourt...
Feb 06, 2023•1 hr 22 min
We're heading -- somewhat angrily! -- into the 21st century in our third Record Of The Year Showdown episode. Spanning 1991-2006 at the Grammys, our discussion also looks at early-nineties quality control lapses, celebrations of the dusty past, nestling in the Swiss-y holes of pop cheese, seventh-grade-dance melodrama, special categories for Whitneying and Mariahing, "psyyyyych!" noms, and George Santos's first Grammy. Less math than last time, but more rage as MASTAS's ROTY Showdown season turn...
Jan 30, 2023•1 hr 28 min
The Record Of The Year Showdown enters the second "bracket" section with winners from 1975-1990, which means a lot of flashbacks to our America's Damp 40 season; theories about Billy Joel and Rufus Wainwright; Eagles/color-blindness test metaphors; underappreciated dad-bod pop stars; how a cult implicated Steve Winwood; and the necessity of special categories to contain nuclear waste like "We Are The World." It all culminates in a FIVE-way tie amongst cheeses standing alone -- AND outtakes! We'v...
Jan 23, 2023•1 hr 36 min
