Manifest the Big Stuff Lori Saitz Appearance
Manifest the Big Stuff Lori Saitz Appearance[00:00:00]
Greg Kuhn: Welcome! Welcome everyone to another exciting episode of Manifest the Big Stuff. I just so look forward to recording things to share with you and today I am doubly excited, because we have a fantastic guest in the house. I'd like everyone to please welcome to the show, Lori Saitz, a stress eradication coach and the CEO of Zen Rabbit.
Lori works with business leaders to transform their teams from anxious and overwhelmed to grounded and focused, which of [00:01:00] course is a preferable state, tends to increase wellbeing and productivity. She helps her clients increase profitability, energy, and happiness while staying calm and grounded - here's a big claim - no matter what.
And we all know life specializes in throwing curve balls right when we least expect them. So we're really excited about this conversation.
Lori, wanna welcome you. Would you please say hello to everyone?
Lori Saitz: Yeah. Thanks so much for having me, Greg. Hi. Great to be here.
Greg Kuhn: Thank you. Lori provides a variety of services.
She is a life coach. She does corporate training, leadership development, and also growth marketing. Lori, I think, would probably agree that, she understands that in today's society, very often we're [00:02:00] told that the key to success is hard work. And, ironically enough, she says that might not always be the case.
Lori actually believes that there's a shortcut to success. And it involves a combination of gratitude, meditation, and visualization. Three comments that I know that the viewers of Manifest the Big Stuff are very familiar with and embrace. So she's here to share a little more about that with us.
What I'd say is, whether you're looking to improve your personal or business life, whether you want to grow your business, stay tuned. We've got valuable insights and very practical takeaways from Lori today.
Lori, would you bring us up to speed? What led you into this line of inquiry and then [00:03:00] to turn it into a profession and how has this played out for you?
Lori Saitz: Great question. I, where to start? So, first of all, I was introduced to meditation when I was 10 years old because my mom took my brother and me to a meditation course that's now known as the Silva Method. And so I had this great foundation. Now, like any good pre-teen and teenager, I did not actually use it after we learned it, but it was a foundation.
It was buried in my subconscious. And actually didn't use meditation consistently for the next 40 years. I would do it for a while, like I knew the benefits and I would do it for a while, and then I would, you know, a couple of days and then I'd skip a few years and we could get more into that part of the story too.
But I actually have a background in marketing, [00:04:00] corporate communications, and some broadcast. And when I reached a point in my career where I had been moving around the country with my husband at the time with his job, and I reached a place where I was like, okay, now what do I wanna do? And I had this recipe for what became known as Gratitude Cookies.
And when I would make them for friends and family, they would say, oh my gosh, these are so good. You should sell these. And so I finally turned that into a business. So I was selling Gratitude Cookies and I was talking a lot about the power of gratitude as a differentiating factor, how it helps businesses.
Talking about the power of gratitude specifically in business, but as an overall thing as well. And so I ran that business for 11 years. Then started talking about networking strategies. Cuz it's a whole other, you know, you have to know how to network to build a business. Pandemic [00:05:00] came along and nobody was going to networking events.
And then I got pulled back into the whole world of talking about gratitude again from a different angle this time.
Greg Kuhn: Wow. I love that. You mentioned that you reached a point, you asked yourself, now what do I wanna do with my life? And I'm guessing as a meditation practitioner you might say that you continue to ask yourself that question each morning.
Lori Saitz: I don't necessarily ask that question every morning. I do practice. I do a meditation every morning. Now that I've gotten into it and gotten consistent and it's been several years. Now, not doing a meditation in the morning almost feels like, you know how it is when you leave the house without brushing your teeth?
It feels weird. You're like, wait a minute, something's wrong. But I'm not necessarily posing that question to myself. Depending on how I feel in the mor, I mean, I usually listen to a guided meditation. And there's one [00:06:00] that I've been listening to lately that's on, signaling a new timeline, which is also a timeline or a new dimension, like stepping up into a bigger place.
Greg Kuhn: Wow. Well, that's a great segue to circle back and tie some things in from what you told us about your personal professional history. It sounds to me like at various crossroads, you made intentional decisions about what you wanted to do.
Now you mentioned your subconscious, and so perhaps some of the decisions are more intentional in retrospect, but you've really curated your life path. Is that a correct way to say it? You've been an intentional creator of your reality, how you have wanted your life to look, which has led you to this point.
Lori Saitz: Everything looks intentional when you look back. [00:07:00] You know, hindsight is 2020. I don't know that it felt intentional when I was doing it. Before the most recent years.
Greg Kuhn: Hmm. Gotcha. Well folks who watch and listen to Manifest the Big Stuff certainly are interested in how we can influence our reality.
Lori Saitz: Mm-hmm.
Greg Kuhn: How we manifest our reality, how we can manifest it differently, how we can be more intentional about that.
And I think one of the things I'd love to hear from you, uh, in in your experience, how does manifesting uh, interact with other metaphysical concepts? You mentioned exploring one's timeline and bringing our active attention to something like that. What's your experience with manifesting and meditation and other metaphysical [00:08:00] concepts.
Lori Saitz: Yeah. I get asked a lot of times about meditation versus visualization. And meditation, meditation is not necessarily visualization. I think for the most part, a lot of times visualization is meditation, but not all meditations are visualization. And the key for manifesting that I've found is not just the visualization part, not just imagining it in your mind.
That's part of it. It's feeling. What does it feel like to have that thing that you are visualizing? The feeling is the key to attracting it to. And it's a lot of times it's difficult for people to get into that feeling because, well, how do I know what it feels like if I don't have it? What would you imagine it would feel like?
And for [00:09:00] the most part, the feeling we're going for is joy and happiness and satisfaction and contentment and gratitude. You know, one of my favorite topics, gratitude is one of the highest vibrations you can get yourself into. It's up there with love. Those two are pretty equal. And so can you get yourself to feel gratitude for this thing as if it has already happened? That's a little bit challenging for people.
Greg Kuhn: Sure. So is meditation a root or a pathway to that? How do those things intersect? How do they connect?
Lori Saitz: Absolutely meditation is. Because my definition of meditation, which is a little bit different from a lot of peoples' is, is it's that getting in touch with your inner core, your inner self. Whether you call it [00:10:00] intuition, your higher power, your higher self, your inner voice, that thing that only you can hear.
And people have all these myths and misconceptions around what meditation is. And I love breaking those down. But essentially it's allowing yourself this space to hear that inner voice. So a lot of times people are like, well, I'm not good at meditating because I can't sit for an hour cross-legged on a mat with no thoughts in my head. Like in complete silence.
Sure that is one way to meditate. Most people can't attain the state of no thoughts in their head. I mean, even people who've been meditating for a long time, that's just, again, we're human. They come in and out. That's what happens. So there are a lot of different ways to meditate. You mentioned before we started recording that you run and, to me, running and getting yourself into [00:11:00] that state of just, you're just you and your inner voice running along a path or whatever, that could be considered a form of meditation. Walking in nature without your electronics. Okay, let's put the distractions away. That could be a form of meditation and people don't recognize it.
Greg Kuhn: Do I hear you correctly? And I don't want to completely derail where you're going here, but I think this is an important point because I do think of meditation as sitting and being still and crafting that environment where I'm undisturbed.
Lori Saitz: Mm-hmm.
Greg Kuhn: And obviously that's not incorrect, but what are other ways that you meditate, that you teach people to meditate, that are also helpful. That people could take advantage of aside from that sort of, uh, specific time.
Lori Saitz: Yeah. Well, again, it's [00:12:00] about allowing yourself this space to get quiet. You could be sitting on a beach watching the waves. That's very meditative. Uh, some people who have trouble sitting still, I advise, get up. Play your favorite song, your favorite upbeat song, and dance. Maybe you wanna do it somewhere people aren't able to see you, which is cool. Get up and dance and get that energy out of your body and then sit, if that helps.
That's why I say the walking, the running, sometimes people need to be moving and can't sit still. So create an active meditation for yourself.
Greg Kuhn: That counts.
Lori Saitz: That totally counts.
Greg Kuhn: Okay.
Lori Saitz: And also...
Greg Kuhn: I love that
Lori Saitz: I mentioned that I tend to listen a lot to guided meditations and especially when I was first getting back. There's nothing wrong with a guided meditation.[00:13:00]
Your mind is still going to wander, but it makes it easier to bring it back to the current moment. If you can go, oh, my mind's wandering, let me come back to the meditation teacher's voice. Have music in the background. It doesn't have to be sitting in silence. That's really difficult.
Greg Kuhn: I'm relieved to hear you say that. That sounds much more attainable to me. And certainly I've read enough about the positive benefits of meditation for as long as I can remember. So when you frame it in attainable way like that, at least for me... uh, well, my next question to you is, so if I'm practicing meditation, how can that help me manifest positive outcomes in my life? How can I tie those two things together? What are some ways that I can do that?
Lori Saitz: Meditation has so many benefits that can be measured [00:14:00] like physical and mental benefits. So it increases your creativity, it increases your emotional intelligence. So you become more caring, better at relationships.
It increases your focus, your ability to be productive because you're more focused. So all of these things help you manifest. So what you're also doing is you're increasing your vibration.
Again this is science, it's not just WOOWOO stuff. Science has proven these things. We are energetic beings, we're made of energy. And when we can vibrate, because everything is vibrating, just at a a frequency, certain frequencies. So if we can increase our frequency, we become more magnetic to the things that we desire, if that makes sense. And so if you can increase your vibration and do it through meditation, [00:15:00] then you become more magnetic for those things that you are visualizing.
Greg Kuhn: Hmm.
Lori Saitz: And that's when synchronicities start happening. Coincidences, you know, that's a word we could talk about, but there are no coincidences. things just start showing up. People, resources. Time seems to unfold differently.
And we don't have to work as hard because you made reference to the whole thing of how I talk about hard work and hustle. The hustle, 24 hustle, that's all a lie. And so we get into this ease and flow.
Now this is not to say that you don't still have to take action. You know when that movie, The Secret, came out years ago, people got the wrong idea. That Law of Attraction is just, I can just sit on my couch and meditate and think about things and money will fall from the sky and I will get everything I ever [00:16:00] desired. That's not exactly how it works.
Greg Kuhn: Not so far, not for me anyway.
Lori Saitz: No, I haven't found that to work either.
Greg Kuhn: And I just want to say, put a plug in here now, I'm really glad it's not like that because I don't think that's what we came here to do. I think we came here to experience a journey or journeys.
Lori Saitz: Yeah.
Greg Kuhn: And that's not a journey, you know?
Lori Saitz: Right.
Greg Kuhn: I don't want to transcend this life. I wanna make the most of it. And that's what I hear you talking about.
Lori Saitz: Absolutely. Absolutely. We can make things easier, live in more of a flow place, a place of ease and flow, by using these practices. And we still need to take action.
However, the thing is, we're taking intentional action. So a lot of times when I'm in a meditation or I come, immediately [00:17:00] come out of a meditation, I have ideas. Oh, they just showed up in my head. Maybe it's a solution to a problem. I know in the Silva Method there's a way that they teach about falling asleep and thinking about a problem or a challenge that you're facing as you're falling asleep and giving it over to your subconscious mind. So that when you, the intention is then that when you wake up, you'll wake up with an idea of how to solve that.
Greg Kuhn: Mm. That's really interesting there. You're making me think of a theoretical physicist named Dr. Amit Goswami. And I have heard him explain that everything in the universe is a possibility wave. That's what quantum physicists
Lori Saitz: Mm-hmm.
Greg Kuhn: understand the true nature of reality to be currently. That's our best description of it, if you will.
Lori Saitz: Yeah. Yeah.
Greg Kuhn: And even the material reality we are experiencing, [00:18:00] including our bodies, ourselves, all of these things are possibility waves as well. He says, and really this is so keyed into what you just shared, he was explaining how creativity works on a quantum level. And what he said is that your thoughts are also possibility waves and that the longer you sit and do nothing, what's happening is your thought as a possibility wave is expanding in possibility. While you sit and do nothing. Because you're allowing it a life of its own, so to speak.
And so when someone does that and they give their thoughts time to expand, and the possibilities are expanding, well, in those pockets of possibilities, of course, are ideas and perspectives and inspirations and intuitions - all of these things [00:19:00] that we might lump under the title: "creative spark" or "spark of life," as you just referenced.
And he said, literally, we can reach up into that expanded possibility wave that we've intentionally, potentially intentionally, allowed to expand, and we snatch or pluck that idea that sings to us and bring it here into the material world and then sculpt it and craft it into life. So you're talking about that, you're talking about intentionally creating those possibility pockets and allowing them to expand, aren't you?
Lori Saitz: Yes. I love that. I love what you just described. That's exactly how it is. And I've heard, I'm not a student of Thomas Edison, but I've heard that he used to do something similar. So when he was facing a challenge or he was working on an invention and he got stuck somewhere, he would sit in his chair [00:20:00] and take, I've heard different things like a metal key or a metal plate or something like that, and hold it. And put himself into kind of a meditative state.
We have different brainwaves. Alpha, beta. Beta is where we are fully conscious, like we are right now. But alpha is that state that's sort of half in between awake and asleep. And that's where we get these creative inputs.
So he would sit and kind of put himself into this meditative state. And when he would get just deep enough that his hands would relax, he would drop the metal and it would bring him back to conscious, full consciousness. But he would come back with an idea of how to solve that. Now, I'm sure it wasn't every single time he is like, oh, I've got it, like on demand. But that's how he would put himself into that creative place to be able to accept those ideas.
Greg Kuhn: Interesting. I have often said [00:21:00] that when I'm running. And I run to achieve flow states or total presence in the moment where I lose myself, which has a lot of similarities to a meditative practice, of course.
I am becoming untethered from Self, if you will.
Lori Saitz: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Greg Kuhn: However, one of the ways that I allow myself, I guess, full permission to go there, to the best of my ability, I still remain tethered to this world because I've got a little timer on my phone that I'm running with that says, Greg, it's been 30 minutes. Greg, it's been an hour. So I feel like I'm a space explorer outside the capsule and I'm just going. But I'm not worried about it cuz I've got that lifeline back to the capsule because...
Lori Saitz: Right.
Greg Kuhn: really in the deepest thrall of that [00:22:00] state, I sometimes sort of forget where I am. Does that sound familiar?
Lori Saitz: Yeah, yeah, a hundred percent. Because right, you're allowing yourself to be in that creative state where there really isn't time. Again, when you get back to quantum physics, there is no such thing as time.
It's a something we created to be able to manage our human experience, but we've all had those experiences where you're in doing something that you're just all into it.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Lori Saitz: And you look up and you're like, wait a second, how? How did four hours go by? Or whatever. It feels like no time.
Greg Kuhn: Yes. You know, there's actually a human being who has time traveled. Time is, as you just mentioned, experiential, right? In the sense that the further away you travel and the [00:23:00] faster you travel from wherever time is being kept, the slower time will go for you.
There's a Russian Cosmonaut named Gennady Padalka who set the world record for the longest amount of time in space.
He was in the International Space Station. I'm gonna get the number of days wrong. I think it was 400 something. Anyway, the most time that any human has spent traveling the earth in outer space. And when he came back and landed, he was actually, I think it was one 100th of a second younger than the rest of us.
Thankfully when we meditate, I've found the results are a little quantifiable than one, 100th of a second. You know, that's not a very impressive amount of time traveling, but I certainly have experienced the loss of time, the loss of self. And one thing I've noticed is the [00:24:00] deeper that I go into a state like that, the more access I have to ideas, possibilities, different perspectives.
I'm able to look at myself, my actions, my feelings with so much less judgment. And then I'm able to really process through feelings. I often encounter feelings that maybe even, inadvertently, I hadn't fully processed, but they're still down there waiting. Does any of this stuff make sense to you as well? In your...
Lori Saitz: Completely.
Greg Kuhn: experience?
Lori Saitz: Completely makes sense. And one of the things, when I have guests on my podcast, we talk about is that feelings, those emotions and those feelings. And so many people have been raised to not have emotions. Not even not have them, not even recognize that they exist as a thing.
And that doesn't serve us because we do have emotions. [00:25:00] It's part of being human. And they will show up.
I had one guest describe it as, it's like holding a beach ball underwater. You can only do it for so long before it pops up and hits you in the face.
Greg Kuhn: Hmm.
Lori Saitz: And that's how emotions are. So when you can get into a state where you can process those emotions, you can move forward.
We don't even necessarily realize that those unprocessed emotions and feelings are holding us back in some way.
Greg Kuhn: It's amazing, isn't it? I like to say that, first of all, feelings are a feedback loop. They're a nonstop mirror-perfect feedback loop of how capable my current beliefs are of manifesting a reality in line with my desires.
I don't want to conjure a, you know, when you reference sitting on the couch and [00:26:00] wishing a pot of gold. When I encounter something that is truly tragic or sad, you know, one of my parents passes away and I feel sad. Awful grief. Yes, those feelings are a feedback loop about my current beliefs' inability to manifest a reality that I truly desire.
I don't know how to manifest a reality where my parents don't die...
Lori Saitz: mm-hmm.
Greg Kuhn: , or other sad events like that. And that's not really my goal. I don't want to become an otherworldly, super magician like Dr. Strange, in that sense. What I am interested in doing is experiencing, or manifesting, love where it's possible. Connection where it's possible. Fulfillment where it's possible. Those types of experiences with my family, with my career, with my neighbors, in my life.
And really, so we're circling back to [00:27:00] where we started. I know that that really lines up, hand in glove almost, with your focus on wellness and productivity and success in any facet of our life.
So tell me how would you advise someone who is very intentional and wants to be an even more influential architect of their own reality? Where would you have them start and what are some things that someone in that position could do to incorporate the power of meditative practices?
Lori Saitz: I'm glad you brought up something that, I will answer that question, but I wanna go back real quickly to the...
Greg Kuhn: Sure.
Lori Saitz: the feeling the feelings. Even when they are sad or angry or resentful or they don't feel, quote-unquote, "good." That we're not talking about [00:28:00] burying those or meditating them away or whatever. It's part of being human. So feel them. Allow yourself to feel them.
That's part of the process and I'm getting teared up now. But you mentioned about the wanting to feel love. To me, the grief and sadness over something like that is an indication of how much love there is there.
Greg Kuhn: Hmm.
Lori Saitz: So, okay...
Greg Kuhn: Good point!
Lori Saitz: back to your question.
Greg Kuhn: Well, and please, I definitely want to hear what you have to say, but I, if you don't mind, to piggyback a little bit on what you just shared. Painful feelings are scary. To me.
Lori Saitz: Yeah.
Greg Kuhn: I'll speak for myself. I don't think that's an odd statement. I think everybody can relate to that. And what I remind myself and what I write and talk about is feeling feelings and processing feelings, that doesn't make them real, right? That doesn't bring them to life. In fact, if I want my feelings [00:29:00] to come to life, so to speak, in the scary haunting way, the way to do that is not feel them.
That's what keeps them alive, right? So...
Lori Saitz: Right, right, right.
Greg Kuhn: And that's, it's so true. Um. And I can't say enough about how helpful meditative states, or flow states, during runs are for helping me go there and just letting me feel them.
I find, my experience is that unprocessed feelings, or any remnants of them that are unprocessed, must settle into my muscles. And I'm certainly not a practitioner that could explain that, but I know that it's very common during runs, a spontaneous burst of, uh, it could be joy, it could be sorrow, it could be anything in between, just comes outta nowhere. And sometimes I'll just bust out crying.
Lori Saitz: Uhhuh.
Greg Kuhn: I can't explain it, but it's there. It's real. It has sort of, [00:30:00] you know, I've rung that feeling out, if you will.
Lori Saitz: Yeah.
Greg Kuhn: Yeah. I love that.
Lori Saitz: I'm a hundred percent convinced that those unprocessed feelings and emotions are what causes a majority of "dis-ease" in the body.
Greg Kuhn: Oh wow. Tell me a little more about that please.
Lori Saitz: Because when you're repressing all of this stuff you just mentioned about it comes out physically.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Lori Saitz: It settles, it has to go somewhere.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Lori Saitz: So if you're not allowing it to come out, it's going somewhere and it's affecting the cells in your body. And so now I'm not blaming people who have diseases for causing their own. At the same time, a lot of this repressed, unexpressed emotion and feeling will show up in physical ways.
Greg Kuhn: Hmm. I know that ,for me,[00:31:00] the major harm that I self-create by not feeling and processing my feelings is I don't learn essential things that I need to know.
Lori Saitz: Mm-hmm.
Greg Kuhn: About me, about my engagement with reality. That they're necessary for me to know in order to grow and change and manifest different versions of reality. So I'm, when I don't feel my feelings, I'm hiding from the very lessons that I'm being provided to amend my practices.
How I manifest myself, how I manifest my reality, and how I engage in my reality. So I think what I hear you saying in terms of other unintended effects of not feeling and processing feelings, I guess I would phrase that as, I'm not responsible for the beliefs that I inherited, as a child.
Lori Saitz: Yeah.
Greg Kuhn: I didn't have [00:32:00] any say in those things. I am, however, empowered to change those things today. So I am not looking to take responsibility for my pain, in a certain sense. I'm not looking for ways to blame myself. I already know how to do that very well.
Lori Saitz: We all do.
Greg Kuhn: What I'm looking for are ways to take responsibility for my fulfillment. And, uh, you know, one could say, well, that's semantics. No, no, that is the complete other side of that coin.
And I'll give a practical example. In one sense, running can be an illustration of what I can't do. The pain is showing me what I can't do. However, 99% of the time, my experience with running is it reveals what I can. And whatever those limits are, I've learned that the best way to not be defined by my limits is to [00:33:00] intentionally create how I am gonna define myself. And when it comes to running, and life, I choose to define myself by being fulfilled rather than measurable outcomes. Feelings play such an important role in that, don't they?
Lori Saitz: Absolutely they do. And you just mentioned, so the measurable outcomes is we are not necessarily in control of the outcome. And you hear this all the time about not being attached to the outcome, which is really difficult. I get it. People say that and you're like, okay, but how can I not be attached to the outcome?
I'm doing this because I would like to see that outcome. That's the purpose of it. If I'm on a plane flying to California, the outcome is I get to California. I'm not gonna be not attached to it. If the plane then lands in Chicago and hey, wait, this isn't where I was going and this isn't where I paid to go.
So there's this [00:34:00] balance, if you will, of, okay, I'd like to get to California and if I only get to Chicago, okay, well maybe let me explore Chicago. That could be cool too. But not having this, I guess maybe it comes down to more not having a death grip on: I must get here, I must get to this outcome.
And they always say, it's about enjoying the journey. Well, personally, if I could have a superpower, it would be teleportation so that I don't have to spend a lot of time on the journey and I could just be there.
Greg Kuhn: Yeah.
Lori Saitz: But at the same time, it is: what can you enjoy along the way?
Greg Kuhn: Yeah.
Lori Saitz: Because that is really, that's where we live every day. We are living in the journey.
Greg Kuhn: It's true.
Lori Saitz: And destination is, you know, when we cross over whatever you believe to the next dimension, the next thing, that might be the end destination. The [00:35:00] outcome. And the journey is every single moment of every single day. That's all we have.
Greg Kuhn: Yeah. You're speaking about what psychologists call an autotelic personality, somebody who finds the value in the process. An almost complete focus on the process.
And I agree with you. My podcast, my books, my written content, I'm a real big believer in doing things publicly. Manifesting publicly to the best of my ability to do so. Because results are important. I am here for the results. That is so true.
And at the same time, what I've found, almost ironically, is that the best results, almost to a "T," the best results are always found when I completely focus on the process.
Lori Saitz: Mm-hmm. [00:36:00]
Greg Kuhn: That's a tricky line to walk though, isn't it?
Lori Saitz: Yeah, it really is. And it is funny how that worked out. But ultimately we can't control the outcome.
Greg Kuhn: Mm-hmm.
Lori Saitz: We can only control, if we wanna use that word, the steps that we're taking. And we can only focus on one step at a time.
Greg Kuhn: It's true.
Lori Saitz: Martin Luther King has that quote about not focusing on the whole staircase, just take the next step. Because we don't know where that step will lead.
And then that leads to another, I mean, sure, we can make plans and have a projection of where we think things could go if we followed this plan. And then it's also about...
Greg Kuhn: True...
Lori Saitz: being...
Greg Kuhn: there are so many factors, you know?
Lori Saitz: Yeah.
Greg Kuhn: Outside of our control that are always going to have a degree of influence upon our reality, on our experiences of our reality.
Lori Saitz: Yeah.
Greg Kuhn: We can, however, always be intentional [00:37:00] about our approach. Our actions, our ideas, our attitudes, and our focus, regardless of circumstances, always fall under our control. Definitely there are circumstances that make it more challenging to not only recognize that control, but exert that control.
However, the efforts to maintain that control, and I don't think control is a dirty word when we're using it in this context, because that's part of the "Human Being Operations Manual" as far as I'm concerned.
Lori Saitz: Yeah. It comes back to recognizing, though, that we only have control of our own thoughts and actions. We cannot control what other people are doing. And that's where we get caught up in, well, they're not doing the thing that I want them to do.
Greg Kuhn: Happens a lot, doesn't it?
Lori Saitz: Right, right. I mean look at our world. A lot of this [00:38:00] angst and overwhelm is because we're looking outside ourselves and saying, well, they, whoever they, they are not doing what they should be doing in our belief.
And I saw something recently, I think it was a book I was reading, and she mentioned that seven, how many? 7 billion people in the world right now?
Greg Kuhn: Mm, yeah.
Lori Saitz: Is that right?
Greg Kuhn: Seven or eight.
Lori Saitz: Does that sound right? Okay. So, okay. And so there are therefore 7 billion different views of reality. And we expect that everyone else's view of reality should or will be the same as ours. And it's not.
So coming back to the only thing we have control of is our own reactions, responses, feelings. That's all. And that's why we can't control the outcome necessarily. What we can control, though, is how we [00:39:00] address it, how we feel about it.
And so I wanna come back to the, what you were talking about is, of reaching that outcome, of being on this path to reach it. What do you want to feel once you reach that outcome?
And I wanna back up because I'm working on eliminating the word "want" from my vocabulary but I realize I just said it. That implies scarcity that I don't already have...
Getting to that - what is it that you desire? You would like to have that outcome, because why? Because it's going to give you a feeling. Can you manufacture, can you feel that feeling before you get to that outcome?
And coming back to what we were talking about at the beginning. When you can do that, you now will manifest that faster.
Greg Kuhn: Yeah, I like that. In fact, this is a [00:40:00] good point. You really brought us back to a good point here where I would like you to put yourself in the shoes of someone who's watching or listening, who I'm gonna describe, and give your best advice. What would you do? What would you recommend? What would you do in their shoes?
If you're somebody who's watching this show. You, me, anybody who's watching or listening right now, all of us want to become more influential architects of our reality. We all have parts of our lives where we not only want to be more intentional, but more intentional about creating joy, fulfillment, connection, happiness, success.
But we also see that it's very possible, right? And maybe even sometimes it becomes incredibly frustrating or crosses over into being very painful. [00:41:00]
Lori Saitz: Mm-hmm.
Greg Kuhn: Because of how attainable it appears to be. And yet the gap that exists between who I am, where I am, what I'm experiencing versus my desires for reality.
What...
Lori Saitz: Yeah.
Greg Kuhn: Incorporating everything that we've been talking about, bringing your whole self into it, what advice would you have for someone in that position?
Lori Saitz: Oh, I can so relate to that. It's very real and the advice I have is to go to gratitude. Get into gratitude. I have seen this work. I have been teaching it and then experiencing it. And there's a difference between knowing it intellectually and internalizing it. And I had an experience this past summer where it really got internalized for me.
And so I advise going to gratitude. Finding gratitude for the situation that you are [00:42:00] currently experiencing. Just, oh my gosh, I am so grateful that this is where I am. And feeling the gratitude for the situation that you're manifesting. Like, ugh, I, and just feeling it as again, as if it is already here, because really it is when you...
Time space continuum thing doesn't really exist. So in some reality it, it does actually exist. So feel the gratitude for it and just keep focusing on feeling the gratitude as if it's already here. Like I see it, I see it, I feel it. I feel it. I feel it. I get it. It's sometimes difficult to stay in that space when you're like, but I don't physically see it or have it.
Greg Kuhn: Do you have any tips or tricks, any techniques that you've found that help you [00:43:00] find that gratitude space before you're there?
Lori Saitz: Oh, I'm so glad you asked this question. Yes. So one of the things that I teach my clients is I have this exercise called the, "But I'm Grateful For..." Exercise. And again, we're human, so we are going to find ourselves complaining or criticizing at some point, right?
The exercise is to catch yourself when you find yourself, ugh, you know, it's a crappy day outside. It's raining. But I'm grateful for... what?
What are you, what could you be? I'm grateful I have a warm cup of tea or I'm grateful I have a space - that I'm not out in it. Yes, it's raining and cold and crappy, but I have this warm house to be in or whatever it is. Like finding some gratitude, [00:44:00] even if it's not related to the thing.
But just catching yourself complaining and criticizing. You will notice yourself starting to do it automatically. And then you'll notice that you're not even going to complain and criticize as much. Again, we're still human. It's gonna happen.
Greg Kuhn: Wow. That's a really cool tip. Great takeaway.
I'm gonna be thinking about that and using that as well. Thank you for sharing that. I don't know if you did this intentionally, but, one of the things that I really like about that technique is your use of the word, "but."
Lori Saitz: Yes.
Greg Kuhn: Because subconsciously, when we hear the word, "but," it negates everything that came before it. Right?
Lori Saitz: That's exactly why we're using it here.
Greg Kuhn: That's awesome because I have often myself thought about this, counseled other people, try replacing the word "but" with "and," right?
Lori Saitz: Mm-hmm.
Greg Kuhn: And that's great. That's a great way to talk and [00:45:00] communicate. In this case, you're intentionally using the "but" though, aren't you?
Lori Saitz: Yes. Yes. I'm glad you brought that up because I would've mentioned it if you didn't.
Greg Kuhn: Wow. You're taking a paint roller and rolling it over that complaint, you know? How important is authenticity when you're reaching for that gratitude?
Lori Saitz: Give me an example. Like how are you not being authentic? Well, I'm grateful, at least I'm not getting run over by a bus
Greg Kuhn: Yeah. I guess, sometimes, when I think about gratitude, I have the capacity, sometimes, to take it into the realm of positive affirmation. In the sense that I'm trying to conjure things that are a little more fantastic versus perhaps things that are more concrete, that are more tangible, and kind of starting there. That's what I meant by authenticity.
Lori Saitz: Whatever comes to your mind. First, take that.
Greg Kuhn: Gotcha.
Lori Saitz: It doesn't have to be some grandeur image. It could be, like I said, I'm grateful I have a cup of [00:46:00] hot tea. I'm grateful I have a warm house. I'm grateful I have my hearing. You know, whatever you can come up with. It could be the smallest - what you consider the smallest little thing.
Greg Kuhn: Yeah.
Lori Saitz: Really the purpose here is to just flip things so that your focus is on the gratitude versus the complaint or the criticism.
Greg Kuhn: I love that. I love that. Lori, we're starting to bump up against time here. I want to definitely take a moment and say you have really opened up for us here. I really appreciate it.
There's a, a tremendous amount of takeaway here and quite a bit of it, very practical. So I wanted to say, in that practical vein, if any of my listeners have enjoyed this conversation, as I'm sure they will, and they wanted to find out a little more about you, explore you and what you have to offer, what sort of things should people do in order [00:47:00] to get into contact with?
Lori Saitz: The best place to reach me is on my website, which is zenrabbit.com. And anybody who moseys over to zenrabbit.com will also find the ability to download a free guide that I have called "The Five Easy Ways to Start Living a Sabbatical Life."
And there are also, yes, and I also have meditations that I have created. Short 10 minute meditations you can find on the website as well as a bunch of articles.
Greg Kuhn: I have been there myself. It's a nice site, easy to navigate and find your way around.
So you've given me a lot to think about from this conversation. Lori, I, I can say this with a reasonable assurance that you and I have really done a good job of taking advantage of our time together to intentionally create something of value.
And so [00:48:00] thank you for going there with us and helping that happen.
Lori Saitz: My pleasure. Thank you for inviting me to this conversation, Greg.
Greg Kuhn: Absolutely. Well, we'll go ahead and wrap things up. I will close by saying that I can't think of any more treasured gift to share with anyone than your time.
So you've given us not only your time, but you've given us yourself. And you've been here with a whole and full heart. Thank you so much for your time, Lori.
My pleasure.