Set The Standard (Raise Your Standards) #624

Every single one of us , as individuals , have an idea of what a good life could look like for us . We have goals , we have dreams , we have ambitions , and the difference between obtaining that or achieving that outcome and where we are now is the journey that we need to go on .

That journey is different for everyone and I reflect quite regularly on the journey that I've been on , and I was only saying to a client yesterday I said look , it's easy for me now to point out what have been the key things that have helped me achieve the life that I now live , from a health perspective , with my career and podcast , and within my marriage and

relationships and friendships . However , if I were to give you those as a framework and as a piece of paper , your journey would still be different to fill those in , because it's the personal standards that you are aware of that you decide you need to have , that are going to uphold that .

So what's really going on between your ears is what makes this journey so unique , and so I hope , by having the guests that I have on the show , some things that they say resonate with you or really give you some of those aha moments that make you go , that may be the thing that I need to do , or I can really relate to what they were saying or what they

were feeling and experiencing , and if I maybe lean more into what they're saying and embody what they do , that could be the path that I need to go down in order to improve my life . Or , alternatively , with these solo episodes that are released every Thursday , the tools and frameworks and insights that I use , I hope that you go .

There's one or two things there that really resonate with you , that you want to look to implement into your life . Now , implementation doesn't guarantee result because , as I said , it's different for all of us and there are a lot more things that you could look to learn .

So I want to give you an example just before we dive into today's podcast , which is going to be around raising your standards . Okay , and why raising your standards is the best decision that you'll ever make and one of the most important decisions .

But before we do , if I were to say to you guys how I get into shape , have the physique that I have is by training five days a week . Go , you would go . Okay , if I'm just going to train five days a week , I should get the same results as Lockie .

But what you're not getting is a lot of the information that you really need to gain , which you can gain through coaching or you can gain through lived experience , and it is what is the specific or what are the specific things that I'm doing during those training sessions and what am I also doing that accompany great results in those training sessions around or

throughout that 24-hour period , and that's where experience comes . So what I would love to give to you today is to go hey , you're learning a lot . Please start implementing things , but reflect on the experiences and start tweaking them to make them more personal to what you're learning a lot .

Please start implementing things , but reflect on the experiences and start tweaking them to make them more personal to what you're working towards in your own life and setup .

But let's get into today's episode , very , very excited and just to give you guys a recap , we're nine weeks out before I kick off the 58 marathons in 58 days across 58 states . So that's all 50 states of America and eight states and territories of Australia in consecutive days . Now it's going to be an incredible experience .

We're kicking off in Alaska and we're finishing here in Brisbane , so I'm going to get snow , minus 15 plus degrees and then just like the beautiful tropical heat of Darwin and Brisbane and everything like that . So it's going to be a very cool experience .

Got some great brands on board and we're really working to put some things in place that you guys can get involved with and have your own 58-day challenge . More to come on that . Let's dive into this episode . So why raising your standards is the best thing ? You'll do so up until 23, . My personal standards one .

I wasn't really aware that standards were a thing . I didn't have a label for them , but essentially the way that I was acting and how I showed up was very much like a yo-yo . They went up when life was good and they plummeted when things got tough . Back then I was super reactive . I was living at the mercy of whatever was happening around me .

If life had handed me lemons . I didn't even bother to make lemonade , I just assumed this is it mate sour drink and all . I didn't see it as something that I could control . I did not really believe that I was in control of my future . The big wake-up call came when I attended a personal development event .

There was a speaker , ben Kelly and he's actually been on the show before who shared his story , and it hit me hard . I realized that my life was just on autopilot . I was reacting and responding to the things that were happening to me , rather than really taking control and deciding what do I want my life to be or what don't I want my life to look like ?

Because when you're thinking about those things , you're going to make better decisions to move you away from those things that you don't want or move you towards the things that you do want and , as a result , you end up building a better life . So I wasn't actively creating anything and I was reacting to everything .

I was broke , I had no clear purpose and I was barely holding things together . On the inside , I was really drowning and suffocating . My relationships were in a rough shape and my self-worth well , let's just say it was somewhere south of rock bottom . Deciding to raise my standards felt powerful until I tried to put it into practice .

So I still remember the moment where I was like I'm going to change things and this was before I had really , I guess , categorized it as personal standards , as they do in the personal development world now .

And I remember deciding hey , I'm better than this and I want to step into a position where I feel empowered and I feel like I'm better than this and I want to step into a position where I feel empowered and I feel like I'm really pursuing my greatness .

And when I decided that two weeks later I hit a hurdle a trip to the start line almost and I fell back . And that was me recognizing how challenging this was going to be when I had to put things into practice . And I do believe a lot of people have that same experience now , where they talk a lot of stuff .

They talk about what they're going to do , what they believe in , but as soon as they have to step up and really stand behind that or implement it , or action that , they don't do it and their results reflect that , just like mine did at the time . So the biggest challenge was my self-image .

I'd spent so many years with a fixed mindset , assuming who I was and what I was , and I didn't like that version of myself . I thought I was a piece of shit and because that's what I believed , my actions backed that up . I was constantly finding evidence within my own life to go told you . So you know better than that .

There you go , proof is in the pudding . I'm sure you maybe experienced that in your own life as well . But had I been able to zoom out , had I been able to step back , I would have also been able to see the great things that challenged those beliefs , so that I could have continued or started making progress a lot sooner .

It was when I started to actively decide who I wanted to become . I was choosing where I wanted to focus and in turn I found evidence and I started changing my actions and I started changing my behaviors . So that's sort of how that whole process works . It was sort of like airing out a dusty old closet .

Every time I got to dig deeper I'd find some limiting belief waiting to pull me back down and my head was full of I'm not good enough for that , or that's not who I am , and I had to challenge that , and the doubters didn't help .

Those bloody doubters , we all have them in our life , and when I talk about doubters as well , I don't believe they doubt us because they want us to fail , but I think part of it is a reflection of themselves , because they're not taking the risk and they wish they were .

So it's almost easier to put their negative projections onto you than to have to reflect upon that within themselves . So family and friends were a mixed bag at this point in time . Some were supportive , sure , but others looked at me like I joined a cult or something . Time . Some were supportive , sure , but others looked at me like I joined a cult or something .

There's nothing wrong with trying to improve yourself and being told but , mate , you've always been like this . One of the funniest moments that I guess had to be my short-lived network marketing phase , and when I say short-lived , I was probably in there three years , three , four years , so not that short in the grand scheme of things .

But I thought I'd found myself this golden ticket , and I couldn't understand why people didn't see the magic . You could build a business , earn what you wanted , help your friends and family , all by selling something that you believed in .

It probably seemed a bit intense if you'd spoken to me during that period or got messages from me and , looking back , I can laugh at that and I can go . I can see why people maybe told you to bugger off , but I was so excited at the time and I feel like people go through that all the time .

I watch people on social media now and even meet people and they may not be part of network marketing , but they may have found something that they're truly passionate about and they can't stop talking about it . They wish everyone else would see what they see in it as well . And there's moments where I catch myself and go dude , ease up , ease up , turbo .

But then I take a moment and go . That was me when I found my thing , when I believe that I could create a better life for myself and I want to champion that . I want to support that person because I don't want to discredit them , because I know through time , I know through experience , they're going to reflect on that and go .

Okay , I don't need to be as intense , but I can still be excited and pursue what I believe in . I think we all want to do that . So , about a year , hold on . Where am I ? Where am I ? So after that , obviously , when I got into network marketing , I had this opportunity to raise my standards and start being consistent with them . I had this idea .

I saw Ben Kelly . I was having lunch and dinners with the top leaders within that company and I wanted to be there and I started observing how they were conducting themselves , what they did .

They told me how they were building their businesses , how they got in the position to speak on the stages , to build big teams , and I was like they're the standards that I need to have , and I committed to doing that . Regardless of what adversity got in my way , I was going to figure out how to do it .

I was running events , I was making a lot of phone calls and I was working my way up within the company , and staying consistent is always going to be the name of the game . I started at the same time as a lot of people and they were gone six months later .

So I knew that if I could just continue showing up , being consistent and developing my skills , I was going to get better . I attached painful memories to the past behaviors nothing like a bit of aversion therapy . Every time I thought about slipping back , I'd remind myself of those dark times and that gave me the push to keep going forward .

And once again , I don't recommend other people do that , but that's what worked well for me . And once again it came back to . I wanted to change . I found something that motivated me , something that worked well for me , so I'm going to keep using that . Why wouldn't you ? It just doesn't make sense to not do that . So find that thing for yourself .

But I found that keeping a diary was massively game-changing .

It's why , within the Strongman of Value Academy , we have the 12-week game plan where we track your time , we track your goals and what you're doing , as well as what you're grateful for , because it becomes and is a place where you could track what you needed to get done and have that sense of satisfaction or accomplishment every day .

There was this moment early on when I started seeing some progress and I thought all right , mate , you've made it Progress . We always go that . We pat ourselves on the back . We then start looking for the reward . Naturally , I celebrated a little bit too hard , and only too quickly did I realize how easy it is to slip back .

I learned that day that good results come from good actions and well , let's just say , shit actions lead to shit results . So about a year into my network marketing , I felt like things were starting to click . My life had taken on a whole new direction . I was fit . Actually , I was jacked . I was really jacked .

I was in a loving relationship with my now wife and running a business I was passionate about . It was like the light bulb moment just went , or like flick turn on . Taking responsibility wasn't just something you read in self-help books , it's actually worked for me .

The freedom of knowing I was in control of my life had this incredibly empowering feeling and I could learn new skills , build new relationships and live a life that I actually enjoyed and I wasn't the man that I used to be , and I was super proud of that . The power of your environment is literally no joke . You'll hear people talk about it all the time .

I talk about it a lot , and there is a difference between being able to change it and talk about changing it and the impacts that it brings you . I found out pretty quickly that if you surround yourself with people who don't aspire to much , it's easy to sink back to where you were and I'm not having look . I want to very much put a disclaimer here .

I'm not having a go at people who don't aspire for the same things that I aspire to have , because most people who are aware are putting themselves in the position that they want . And some people want to be super ambitious with their career and business .

Other people just want to set up the most incredible family lives possible , and then there are other people who are just going with the flow . There's no right or wrong .

What's right is what's right for you , but for me what I found was that if I wanted to aspire to something and I had an idea of what that was like I was hanging around people who weren't as aspirational at the time and so it sort of like that crab in the bucket .

I was trying to get out , I was trying to branch out and do new things , but I kept falling back and I couldn't blame the environment , because I knew what they wanted , what they expected , but I had to change it and that's the hard part . So the positive environment is like fuel . It keeps you going . Negative ones , they're like a quicksand .

So in the beginning I made some drastic moves . I cut ties with people who were bringing me down , and I also just cut ties with people that I'd known forever , and while it was a bold step I don't believe it was . Probably , I don't know I don't think it was the right one . I was desperate for change and I thought that distancing myself was the only way .

It's funny , looking back , I had a moment where I literally asked myself is what I'm doing with these people in my best interest ? If the answer was a no , I started making moves .

Today , I know it's more about finding balance , enhancing relationships where possible and knowing where to keep a bit of distance , and , once again , that's easier said than done , but it's something that you need to be mindful of , something that you need to be aware of . So , as I continued this journey , I found myself wanting to help others to do the same .

My purpose became crystal clear to inspire other men to help others to do the same . My purpose became crystal clear to inspire other men to rise above their challenges . Super simple , so that again is to inspire other men to rise above their challenges .

Over the years , a few people have reached out to me , particularly those who've noticed the shift in my lifestyle , especially around alcohol . They saw the changes that I made and it resonated with them . So one story that stands out is from a guy who was struggling with his relationship with alcohol .

It was affecting his marriage , his job and , honestly , his self-respect . He saw me talking openly about my journey and it made me think maybe I can do this too . Seeing him take those steps reminded me that raising our standards isn't just about our own growth .

It's about the impact we have on others , and that's one of the cool things about documenting on social media that I believe in , and even podcasting is I get to reflect on things that are going on in my life .

It's why this week's topic was around standards , because I have been speaking to so many people who don't recognize their standards aren't the ones that they need to achieve the life that they want , and I also recognize that I've dropped the ball in certain areas that I want to pick that up . Okay .

So he saw me talking openly about that journey , as I was saying , and the impact really started to motivate me to want to continue striving for what I want to in life , and that's why I'm doing the marathon challenge . I've done previous other things because they're things that I'm curious about . The things that I'm interested about .

They may not be the mainstream thing to do or what most other people are doing , but it's what I want to do , and I've decided that , in order to live a rich life , I need to make decisions that I feel are going to benefit me and make me the best version of myself , so then I can be the best version of myself for those that I care about .

And too many of us go . That's too risky or no one else would agree with that , and they just continue down a path doing things that they don't like or they aren't interested in , and then they wonder why , 10 years down the track , they've built up this huge amount of resentment . They aren't happy in their own skin .

They just don't love their life , and if you don't want to be in that position , this is why your standards are going to be a huge thing for you to address . Here's where things get funny , though . People often approach raising standards like ordering fast food . They want immediate results .

I've seen people who declare I'm going to earn a million dollars and , to be fair , that was me . I remember talking about that with my accountant in 2014 . I walked in and Cookie he was a brother of one of my friends . I was like man , I'm predicting and I'm he was a brother of one of my friends .

I was like man , I'm predicting and I'm projected to do big things here , probably going to be earning a million bucks in 12 months . So you just want to set up all my business structure and everything for that , because that's probably going to happen . And looking back , I'm like what the hell was I thinking ?

But legitimately , that's what I did , so I can relate to that and I know people still do that and many of them don't have a plan to do it . Other things will be like I'm going to drop 20 kilos by next month , as if the weight will just melt off because they've announced it . The impatient used to be me .

I'd make grand plans and I probably to a degree still do , because I do have this part of myself that loves to dream big and I love to talk about it . But most people don't have any clue around what it actually takes only to realize that changing deeply ingrained habits is a process and it's freaking difficult .

It's only by failing a few times that you realize raising standards requires experience , not just enthusiasm . Look , don't knock enthusiasm . It's fantastic , but you need experience or you need to have experience in your corner . Change takes time and those big declarations are just the first step . Real growth comes from understanding it and grinding it out .

There's no shortcuts . So my light bulb moment came when I finally understood that raising standards isn't about perfection . I'd gone through years of ups and years of downs thinking I could overhaul my life overnight , and probably wishing I could and probably wishing I could . It doesn't work like that .

I don't want to be this dream destroyer , but I want to be realistic . I think many of us are told that everything is easy and everything can happen . As of yesterday , and from my experience , that hasn't been the case .

It's so much easier to take a step than a leap , and real change happens through those small , consistent actions , not trying to overhaul everything within a day , and it's taken me a decade to reach this version of myself and I'm still a work in progress .

Now you can all go back and listen to earlier episodes of my podcast and I would hope that there has been some improvement and growth around how I talk , who I interview and what I'm talking about .

Listened to earlier episodes of my podcast and I would hope that there has been some improvement and growth around how I talk , who I interview and what I'm talking about . But that's my journey . I listened to episodes and I'm like man . That's so cringy , but had I not been that person in that moment , I wouldn't be where I am now .

So to anyone listening to this and thinking about raising your standards just take a step . Don't worry about being perfect . Just commit to moving forward that little bit each day . After all , as I've learned , every small step counts and you'll surprise yourself with just how much those small steps add up .

My name's Lachlan Stewart . Thank you , guys for tuning in . We will have applications opening for the Strongman of Value Academy again soon . We're on week eight in our current intake and when that opens up , I'd love to have you guys join us for next year .

And the cool thing about those who are going to be in the academy for the first cohort of next year I'm going to be doing my run , so you're going to get inside scoops as we catch up on the calls weekly . So I'd love you to be a part of that . You can find more at themanthatcanprojectcom . As always , do something today to be better for tomorrow .