Overcoming Distractions and Changing Habits with Chad McCormick #529

How am I like I don't know ? So there's there's , there's still elements and moments of that , but it's okay , I mean .

We first met at a Brett and Brett event here in Nashville and , you know , as soon as I walk into a room and there's a dude with a beard that looks as good as yours , I just be like it because it's like aspirations , what I want to achieve , and we hit it off . Well , you know he made us feel very welcome for being there .

And then , you know , we connected a couple more times over the next week while you were still in Nashville and we had some pretty deep conversations . I would say for two blocks that just met and I walked away from the last time we caught up thinking , man , I took away so much from that .

Our audience can probably relate and learn a lot from some of the experiences that you've had Chad and also just the perspectives on life and what you're doing and I know you've just got back From some travel with your son doing water polo , so guess that's probably a good part place to start around why you're investing so much time With your children now as a

role model , and then we can sort of navigate from there .

Yeah , the dad thing , yeah , no , I mean , when you look at it and we , we kind of I Mean as you're starting out in the family life it's , it's amazing when you start again like I'm 52 now , so my kids are older , they're 19 and 17 , and you really start to realize that you've hopefully Guided them somewhat into being you know their own little great humans .

And in that is that you just got to let them go a little bit , and that's the hard part , because you're with them morning , noon and night for 18 years .

And then Then the change happens and they got friends and they can drive and they go out and you don't know when they're coming home , but they're adults , they don't have to tell you and and then they're gone . So it's , yeah , it really happens pretty quick .

So I I figured it out Probably about 10 years ago that I guess it was probably right when I quit drinking , which will probably be somewhere else we get to , but the the idea that If you've only got so much limited time , what are you spending it on ?

And for me at that time was really trying to be Present to , to the kids and , and you know everybody's like , oh well , you're in such a rush to go somewhere , such a rush to do something , but at the same took and just sitting there on a park bench with your kids , what's the where's the rush to get anywhere ?

You know you're never late if you're in the right spot .

Or you know , living vicariously through your kids , where you've got some parents that you know go to an event and they're Screaming at the ref for yelling at their own kids or yelling at other kids .

Or you get in the car later and you're just like , yeah , that you know , like Johnny didn't pass you the puck , he sucks , but in reality Maybe you never played the sport .

So you know what do you even have Conversations about that , about you know , let your child speak at that point , let them tell you good , bad or ugly , and then you know , support them if they're down .

For sure , I mean , we all get angry , we all get mad , but it's , what do you do with that next moment and how long do you let them stay in that moment ?

And so there's a lot of that with sports , with my older guy hockey , younger guy water polo and and just saying you know , okay , great , you have one minute rant , go nuts , get mad at the coach the ref . Whatever it is , the next 10 is on you . Well , how could you've done it better ? What , what else could you've done differently ?

And maybe there's nothing , but it's same token for them to realize that and for you to Give them that space , I Think , is where you both grow .

But the mistakes is where people start to really figure themselves out and work out what works well and what doesn't . So it's definitely something that I'm grateful I get to Pick your brain and plenty of other people's brains around how to actually figure out what that is , because I don't think anyone really has the secret formula . It's just a day-by-day approach .

And then , talking about you know other people's success , whether it's yours , your kids or your friends or anyone , and if you can , you know you quit it by any sportsman a big part of my life for a while . But you know the guys playing a high-level competition .

At the end of the competition , whether it's a tournament or a game or whatever , they all shake hands at the end . So it's a respect thing even though they lost the game , they're going to shake the hands of the guys that won .

And so I think , if you can take that into your everyday life and go well , this guy is in my same lane , he's doing the same job I am , but he's very successful . You know , celebrate that . To go up and say congratulations , that's like and genuinely you have to . You have to give a every go , that is .

I don't know how you did that , but that's amazing and it's it's amazing how fast you will grow when you see other people's and recognize and give recognition . For what did I call it ? It's kind of an emotional gratitude for other people and it seems hard to do , but once you get in it , it's it's pretty addictive , pretty fast .

So I mean , if you take a minute and look at you know Callum Scott , when he's on he gets a golden buzzer . If you ever look that up and and and Watch the emotion on stage , off stage , the judges , everything else .

But if you , if you put yourself into his moment and you go Like don't put your shoes on his feet , put yourself in and your shoes in his moment and pretend you're standing on that stage , look out to the crowd , listen to what his emotion is and just absorb that for a minute , pretend that you're there and feel that and that emotional gratitude and just feel

how he must have felt given his backstory , given everything else , like how does that room resonate ?

And then you bring that all the way back to today and when you can share that with someone that has done something , that has an achievement or doesn't have to be very big , you know Someone just needing a hand across the street and you're just like let's give him a hand .

I was doing that when I was three years old , whereas that individual they may have been working towards that for 20 years to achieve that , and I think you know that's why context is so important and the seek to understand before being understood is a really good quote that I love and , once again , I try to live by it .

I'm not perfect with that , but there's definitely moments where I might get frustrated at someone or whatever the emotion I experienced from it , and then it's just like , okay , well , what path have they walked to this point to get there ? Because it's definitely different to what I have .

Otherwise they would be getting the exact same results that I'm doing in a specific situation , and I would hope that people take that approach with me as well when I maybe frustrate people or agitate people as well .

So if you can be curious about the moment , or why would someone say that , or why did they do that , and you know , sometimes it's just simply as easy as asking them or asking them to reframe it , you know , just say , hey , that came off a little bit , can you ask it again in a different way ?

And so I think whenever you get curious about that and you know I look at it , it's like it's .

I don't know if you've ever heard the kind of the analogy of you have to go upstream to fix a problem and sometimes so what happens is if you're downstream fixing a problem , that means you're just you know the water's coming down , hitting wherever you are down the stream and you're just repairing the bridge every time or putting a new thumbtack in the dam .

But if you go further upstream , maybe you'll find out that the trees are getting knocked over because the beavers are chewing them down and the trees keep coming down and hitting your bridge . So well , can we help the beavers out ? Can we move them ? Can we do something different so that we're not having to fix the bridge all the time ?

But then you gotta look at it the other way and go well , if you go upstream and fix it , then what's the new problem you've created ? Downstream there's never not a consequence to anything . It may not be your problem , but it's someone else's .

So you have to go upstream and then come back down , and so it's just this dance of kind of looking at it , kind of I call it a 4D approach , but you always have to look ahead and behind and as many angles as you can throw at them .

So how , for you personally , do I guess , juggle that ?

So just either be present to the moment and enjoy whatever it is or take away from it as little as you can . And if you can change it , do you want to ? And if you want to change it , then make the change , simply just whatever that is , even if it's painful .

Sometimes you're like this is gonna hurt me or hurt someone else a little bit , or you know , but if it's the right thing to do , you know you might have to do that and sometimes that again that's that upstream change that's gonna create new problems downstream , but the obstacles the way sometimes too .

So there's just so many different things to look at that I've kind of formulated around and still always comes back to being present . Sometimes it's you know what's . The analogy is this don't just do something .

Stand there and to be the only person standing still when the fire is going on or people running and going crazy , you can just go okay what is actually happening and take a look at the whole thing and don't get so caught up in everybody's every day , because everybody's it's really easy to fall into a wake up in the morning , go to bed at night .

What happened today ? I don't know ? Same thing as yesterday . Well , that sounds amazing . Here he's got to read up on something . Look at something different . Like when you're going for a walk , look up . Have you seen the top of this building ever ? No , stare at it for a minute . Like how did they get build that ? Because we're losing that .

You know more and more people can't build what was done 20 years ago , let alone 500 years ago exactly .

I was , you know , it was like Groundhog Day every day , in a good way , like , but it was just rinse and repeat with how the days were , whereas now there's so much I don't have to do as much face to face work , a lot of it's online , but that then gives me the opportunity to have a lot more free time . So it's like go do things .

You know , liam and I have been literally running our way around Nashville and we've been doing it in different routes , and so I'm like we've been doing it in different routes , and so I'm like we've run past this place three times and I've never noticed this building , how , and he's like I don't know . I'm like it's interesting .

And then I got in an elevator yesterday after our run and this lady had just been tall because she was on her phone , which , once again , I'm guilty of doing that as well , but I'm like she just missed an opportunity to meet someone . That's what I thought .

And so , as much as the phones connect us in certain ways , when we're looking down we're not looking out and you don't know what opportunities are there for you or , I guess perspectives to take , and for people who don't have a life that they're happy with , whether it's in their relationship or with their health , or maybe just in their own mind , it's like I

don't think you're gonna find it in a phone . No , I think you need to start obviously within yourself . But just start being curious and that was one of the things you said to me when we were standing back just after Queen and you asked me actually we're walking to Queen . You asked me this very interesting question . I was like it's a fascinating question .

Which was ? You just said what are you curious about right now ? If you were to have 30 minutes , what would you wanna learn about ? And it's funny . I remember what I said to you and it was , you know , human psychology and all of that sort of stuff .

But the more I've thought about it I'm like that's a default response to me because that's a space that I work in , so it's like I need I should be curious about that , which I am . But there's also random other stuff that I'm interested in at the moment that has nothing to do , I guess , with the work that I work in . It's like stand up comedy .

I love how people tell stories and engage people , but also how they , you know , I think about . Is that how they wanted that joke to land , or is it not ? I can always think about that .

Then music obviously my wife's a musician , but I'm trying to understand how people feel music and all of that sort of stuff , because I don't feel that that's in my body . So that's the sort of stuff that I'm watching YouTube videos on or Googling and reading about or bought .

You know , I bought a few books last night on that sort of stuff because it's just like the information may never help me with anything , I guess in my career , for example , but it's just interesting to me and I want to learn about it .

But it could also then become a story or an experience that I can then share with someone , to help them move from A to B , for example . So that's what it was for me .

You may feel that way , but learning about something that either you know nothing about or enhances something you already do , I think it's just it gives you more frame reference later . For me , I call it the beard of knowledge , because I don't know what's in there .

But if you ask a question , I probably for some reason have some sort of answer , but I blame it all on curiosity and then critical thinking around it . So you know , and you go back to the kids .

You know that's a that was a big part for me , as well as trying to have them understand that it's , it's their responsibility for , kind of , how they think a little bit , or their answers . You know they go to school and they come back and it's like , well , tommy said that you know this is why this happened . And you're like , okay , well , is it true ?

And they're like , well , I don't know . Tommy said it , let's look it up . And that's where Google comes in . You can go , well , google it . And they're like , yeah , see , right here , tommy says this . I'm like , okay , well , ask Google the other question what's the wrong side of this ? Or is it true , or is it a scam , or is it false ?

And then Google comes up with 10 more of that way . And you're like , okay , now what ? And they're like , I don't know . I'm like , well , you need to make a decision . Like which side do you think is real Right ? And they said , well , there's way more over here . And I'm like , well , at the moment , then I would go that way . But I said be prepared to .

You know , if someone comes up with better evidence , then change your mind . You know , to get stuck in your mind is not very helpful either . If you believe the same things today as you did 30 years ago , either that's really good solid framework or you know you're not looking for enough change .

We're so used to being told what to do or what to believe , and then the flip side of that is many of us are almost fearful to share what we believe at this point in time , because you see the online abuse and how people people just can't have debates anymore .

It's just like as soon as someone disagrees , they tend to just want to tear you apart rather than once again going back to that quote . Seek to understand and also accept that you may not agree , which is completely fine , but also value someone's viewpoint , which you know .

I think because of that , a lot of critical thinking has gone and a lot of critical communications gone .

They just someone told them something , they believe it to be true and they don't want to see the other side .

And during that period I came across a book called code of the extraordinary mind , and I think it's chapter eight , and they talk about leveling up and how to you know what do you , what are you really good at and as far as the eight or 10 criteria , and what are you really bad at ? And then how do we bring up the ones you're not good at ?

But the process of doing that is is the understanding that your brain is a simply like a computer . Every eight years you're buying a new iPad or Microsoft Dell computer , yet you've got the same brain you had eight years ago . Well , no , that's not possible . It's totally changed . So why not be cognizant of that change and go ?

Well , look for something that you believe in . But if something comes across as a better response to that or a better belief , or you can say , well , that makes way more sense , pull out your idea , put this one in and go . I'm going to live with this one for a while .

It's it might be painful for those around you to live with you for a bit while you're doing it . Well , they said well , yesterday you said that and I'm like that was like , that was like a year ago to me . If it was yesterday , I've changed 50 things . That's the only one you noticed .

Great , but you'll , you know , you'll eventually settle and end up with probably the friends you should have had all the way along .

When I was yeah , yeah , yeah , dozens , and I remember because I was , you know , running events and trying to inspire people and all of this sort of stuff , and this lady's like he's such a fraud . You know he's done this , this , this and I'm like I have .

But if you don't believe that an individual can learn from those experiences and change , you're fucking kidding yourself and you're just wanting everyone to stay with our , which means I would be a bit of a prick of an individual for the rest of my life . But that's not what I wanted to accept .

And the challenge for a lot of people , when you do start , you know , shifting your beliefs or having different thoughts and ideas is it can highlight things for them as well .

It's like maybe they aren't moving as quickly or maybe they , you know , not don't have enough challenge or adversity or critical thinking in their life , whatever it may be , and they don't like that change . It's uncomfortable changes , uncomfortable for everyone in every which way .

But if you can once again sit back and ask yourself , why is this individual doing this , even if you know how they're doing it , you may disagree with at the moment , is it because they want a better life ? Is it because they want to be a better husband or have better health , Then that's okay , because they're going to get feedback .

They're going to get their own feedback that then enables them to go . That didn't work , but I'm going to pivot here because I still want that outcome as opposed to just going . I'm never going to be healthy , I'm never going to be a good husband , so I think people need to definitely stop considering that a lot more .

That's a different thing to try and you know work on , whether that's with therapy or friends or family or but you know that you need to seek someone else trying to help you out .

But being alone , when you can get comfortable in that , I think that leaves so much room for for that ability to grow and be curious and find things , because it's not a bad feeling to be alone . It's just like , okay , I got time myself , now what Like ? Do I go for a run ? Do I work out ? What am I doing ? What do I want ?

Which was another big piece for my development was kind of the mirror that we all live in and it's really interesting . When I was , I just laugh at sometimes you get these . You know the human walking down the street in a wardrobe that you don't think humans should be in .

And you go well that that person got up , got dressed , stood in front of a mirror and went damn , and then walked out . And now the beauty is they're done , they're not looking in the mirror anymore . Now that's everyone else in the world's problem , because now they have to look at this and go . What is going on ? Right now ? I don't , I don't understand .

Like now you honestly went through the closet and like it's just , it's crazy , it's crazy , and then to realize that we all do this . So every time you leave the morning , that's it you're saying to the world here you go , now you get what you get . But I would say at the beginning for my journey was , it was more of that I was a very reflective person .

So I was , I was . I would absorb the mirrors of others . I was like a chameleon . So whatever anyone else was doing that , I thought , wow , that's super cool . I wish I could do that . I would just take it and take it and take it and then I would reflect back kind of the best of that , which wasn't really me .

It was just the shell of me , but it was . I was forcing a mirror out of of what I wanted people to see , and a lot of that is , you know , ego and all of that falsism and everything else , and how do you look , or what's it ? So , yeah , I spend time on my beard , well , but it's like a small brother to me , so I respect my beard .

So it's it's like how do you do that , Right ? Um , so now I would say that now I actually I am just more of a I guess what did I rate earlier ? I said I just , you know , I'm just , I get to reflect a true self now . So it's now more I don't absorb other people's , I just actually reflect true self a bit more .

I'm like I don't know , how am I ? I don't know ? Um , so there's , there's , there's still elements and moments of that , um , but it's okay . I mean , when you can get comfortable with the outcome doesn't matter . Or time doesn't matter . You know , I know everybody's busy , but if you can be productive , uh , you'll end up with more time and stop being busy .

And then , when you shift some of that time back to just being present , again , if you're in the right spot , you're in the right spot . So why do you want to move so fast ?

And uh , uh , it's funny when you , when you miss one moment and hit another and the other one , you're like man , I'm glad I didn't take that last moment , um , that's when you start believing the fact that being present is so impactful .

Um , one day , when we caught up with your ability to be present , like where you are , as where you're meant to be , and you were explaining sort of how you were able to get to that point because obviously I was sharing how I find it very distracting I can jump on Instagram and see someone you know , maybe in my field of work that's doing something .

I'm like , oh , I need to , I need to work harder , I need to be better , or , you know , you can be one such . You're FOMO , essentially FOMO . There's always shit going on and we miss it . So can you sort of run through that process ?

No , but you get into the some called the monkey brain or you know it's just you , just you're on autopilot and you know a lot of that social media or that the moments that you're you're really wasting on nothing , or or if you're going to do it , do it Like it's it's , get in or change .

And if you're going to Instagram , just go deep , like spend 10 hours and get in there and then go okay , I'm done for a week , like , I can't , like it's like tequila , I've had too much , you know and uh , so it is hard . But at the same token , when you start seeing , you know if you can kind of measure it a bit and go .

What was the outcome of my one hour on Instagram ? Well , I found this and I found that , okay , well , what did you do with that information ? Did you actually use it ? Did you incorporate it with what you're doing ? Did you ? Did you go buy the product ? Does it work ? Did you use it ? Like , what is it ?

And if you can follow the trail of all those things , well then , maybe there was some benefit to it . And so can if you walk away from an hour of social media and go . I learned nothing and you're like no to self .

Many people , a lot of blokes , especially that I speak to , they're like I'm all or nothing . You know , I can't just have one beer . It's like one beer or a thousand , am I okay ? Well , what's the consequences of the thousand beers ? Is it impacting areas ? Yeah , it always does . Well , why don't you stop ? I can't so for you . What was it that like ?

How did you just switch ? What was the secret formula that everyone's looking for that you have ? That allowed you to switch . And especially , I want to also highlight , you work in the hospitality industry . You're a businessman and you're in the hospitality industry , where alcohol is part of the bloody furniture . Yeah , yeah .

But you know I'd have 14 drinks on Monday and 50 on Friday and in 20 years I would say there might have been a day or two where I didn't have a beer and I also had the good or bad fortune , depending on how you look at it , that I didn't need sleep and I still don't today .

So you know I would , I would run pretty hard , I'd go 20 , 22 hour days for 20 years and so I would .

I would leave one event to tuck everyone in to go to the next event , and in that it's yeah , I mean , I did leave the family behind at that point and I left partners and friends and I think everybody was happy in the moment that I was able to give them because I was such a great enabler to whatever the moment was .

So , but again , it was such a chameleon moment because it wasn't about me at all . I would just go . I think you want this . So let's go like either raise all the boats or burn fucking every boat , and so so Even if I was wrong , even if I missed the boat and that wasn't what you wanted . You had no chance .

You were still riding my wave and going with me and so , yeah , they're pretty , there's some yeah , along a long run of life there , I wouldn't change it , of course . I mean it's it's helped groom who I am today . But but the the toll was pretty hard on the family , and especially my wife .

And you know , come home one day , you know your bags on the front step after a weekend away and she's just had enough . She just said , you know , figured out . And that was the morning . I just said , well , either Keep partying with the circus or or I get to know who my family is .

And so I just made the decision to See who my family was and try that out for a bit . And in that I went to , I went to therapy that same morning . I just I just knew that , you know , alcohol wasn't the problem . It was just I was letting alcohol Be the problem like it for me .

I wasn't necessarily an alcoholic , but I was certainly riding the knife's edge that I could have slipped either way , and and then , and then I can see how that can be a real problem . So yes , the therapy was probably the first key that really helped me because it was .

It was comforting to know from an expert's opinion to say , look , you know you're , when you , when you drink as much as I was , your back lobes grow . I mean your back lobes grow , your emotions take control of everything . And so you know , he said , the life you've led is your back brain . It has nothing to do with you .

Your front lobes of shrunk to like peanuts compared to half your brain . So he's like you really haven't been in control . And and the easy conversation was have you ever been in a fight with your wife ? And you didn't know why ? And I'm like pretty much every day . And he said well , what happens when you get in a fight and I go ?

Well , I go to the bar and he goes . You get a drink and I go , yeah , he goes , well , at your back lobe just squeezing there saying I'm thirsty , let's Go get a drink . So you know I was really it was a really interesting Time to try and go . Well , who's in control here ? Is it me ? Is in my brain , mind , body , like what is it all this ?

And and then the second piece he said . He said , well , your kids are young now . I mean it was a decade ago and he said , look , you're , you're having , you know , 15 , 20 drinks a day on average . Your kids are gonna have 30 drinks a day on average . And he said so I'm gonna see both your boys here .

You know , five years , ten years , you know You're setting them up for a not very successful life . And so I Think I cried pretty hard for four or five days after that , just looking at what I done to my , my kids and family and and house of year .

That was Not that alcohol was the problem again Is this the fact that I could make a change and be so much better and so . So then that was just such an awareness piece for me that I just said , well , I got to step away from it to at the moment , and so far it's been 12 years . So we'll see . Maybe when I'm 80 I'll get back into scotch .

You know , for me , when I used to smoke and drink a lot , it was like , socially , I just didn't feel comfortable , so I needed to have something in my hand . I had to have a cigarette or , you know , beer . And now it's like I never like how I feel after a few beers . I always say stupid things , I catch myself on a my what ?

I said that I was stupid and so now I've . You know I don't have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol . I always have , you know , one or two and that's it .

But I Pardon me , wants to stop , because I've spoken to so many people like yourself who've given it up for 10 plus years and what they say has changed Cognitively with their moods and emotions and how they've been able to learn and retain it . You know , Information and the life that they've created for themselves . I'm like that sounds quite appealing .

So what have you experienced from ? I guess ? The benefits in big , I guess growing yourself as an individual , information , business , career , family , from cutting out the drinking . And when I say cutting out the drinking , I know that you've said it wasn't the problem , it was just more the impact of that .

But alcohol is a depressant and it does have impact on the mind and on the body as well . So , yeah , I'd love to know what that was like for you .

it's . I Think if you , if you again back to being present , I mean , if the idea is you're gonna go on a bender , you're great , I mean you , you're , you're , you're , let's do this Like , get in there , we go . But you know also that ability to take a go .

I just want a glass of wine and just enjoy the where I am and just have a glass of wine or a scotch with a cigar and have one , and then you know , go to bed or do whatever they're doing . And so you know , I think when you look at alcohol for that Uh type of lifestyle , I think that's amazing . I mean you look at James Bond or whatever .

I mean was you have like two martinis and a whole three-hour movie and he's doing his thing , so it's great . But you know , when you , when you lose sight of the purpose of it , I think that's when it it starts winning a bit . But but yeah , cognitively it's been Again in 20 years of doing it . So the I don't think I'm the same person .

I was a year ago , let alone five years ago , let alone , you know , decade ago , when I was drinking . So I Went from 1500 friends to two or three , and now I'd say of five or six , and they're probably , you know , a lot stronger and healthier relationships than I've ever had . And you know , all of that just comes from I .

I just I really can't say it and I want to put curiosity and tattoo it on myself somewhere that you gotta get curious about nothing or anything . Or you know , because yet , like you said , you had to fill the void .

And I remember , through one of my therapy sessions , which was the probably the worst part of my entire life I've never really felt this before because I was able to Deflect everything .

You know , it wasn't , I'd say , as a bit of a geek is a kid growing up , and then you know you turn 18 and you discover alcohol and now you're a hero , and so I was like , okay , well , this , this new person , is unbelievable Again in the reflection that I see , but probably not truthfully .

And so when you take that forward and you start looking at and go , well , you know really what am I doing here ? You know , then I go through this therapy session where it's kind of like an armadillo shell that I had on , where I had no emotion , I couldn't feel anything like nothing . You know , you watch a sad movie .

I was like I'm like what's so sad about this and the the therapy it was . I Can't even actually remember it because we were just into this moment and but I remember it being a morning session and midway through my , my session , she phones the front desk and says cancel all my appointments today , as I am like a puddle in a corner , she's cracked the shell .

The armadillos come back and now I'm just this flop of emotion . I can feel everything . I can everything that's gone on in my moment , and that's when I discovered the problem with therapy is they can .

They can help you open the door , but then it's a long road to hoe after that , because now you've got a , now you got to deal with that door being open because they don't , they don't close again . So you . So that door being open was probably the best and worst moment for me ever , because after that I couldn't avoid the situation .

You know , I go to a bar or restaurant or one of the one that I own , and I'm standing there and guys like , hey , let's have a shot . And I'm like , nah , I'm drinking , they're like whatever , and I'm just like I can't like the noise , the volume , like everything was .

It was too much , it was just like sensations I'd never had , and it was a long time , probably a year of that Like it was so brutal . I can only recommend it now , 10 years later .

At that moment it was very , very unfriendly , and so that was probably where I had to learn to grow the most , because I said , well , like , why am I feeling that , or what is that feeling ? And then I had to poke around and look at it and sit with it and so , yeah , it was a difficult time .

And I just think about it with chocolate now , man , I had chocolate last night and I pounded a block of chocolate . It's the same thing . It's like if it's in the house it's gone . Yeah , that's why I don't let Amy bring it into the house .

But last night it seemed to make its way through the door and I was like , oh well , here we go , and you don't want to just leave that sitting around , that's for sure . Yeah .

Just it gives you a bit firmer base to stand on when you're doing whatever you're doing , because seven billion humans , we all do it differently . So you know why do you do it the way you do it . And you know my mind is to connect , share and grow , so that I can help others to connect , share and grow their world .

And the more often I do that , the better I feel about it . And you know the resignation of taking it to a 12 is . You know you go into a bank teller and you're going to do something and you're a big grumpy and so so will the teller be or soon to be , and where you take .

You know you hit the front door and you're like , ok , you know that , that , that leave it at the door a little bit . But you know , just leave everything at every door , just don't have any doors , and you go into the bank , you know and , and just go hey , how's your day , what's happening ? You know and you know .

You end up getting , you know , a 12 out of 10 experience rather than a two out of 10 .

An employee sorry , an employer of mine when I was early 20s , remember when I started working there is like I don't care what's going on in your personal life , but as soon as you step foot in here , you leave your shit at the door because you've got to deliver for the people in here . And that's stuck with me to this day .

And I struggled with that for a long time , because when you don't know much about your emotions , you generally carry that around and splatter that on everyone else . But then when I started thinking about things and asking myself why is this or how could I leave that at the door , what would that look like ? How do I change my state ?

How do I let go of things that in probably 24 hours time I'll look back and go ? Why was I stressed about that or why was I angry at that or why was that even happening ? And that for me the curiosity .

I think that's why I do the work that I do it's just gets so fascinated in why people do what they do and why they're continuing to allow those things to hold them back from having a truly rich and fun in life .

Or put put yourself in your shoes in their moment and go , oh man , that would be crappy or that is shitty . Or to really look at the idea and go that you're anything that happens . It doesn't happen to you , it happens for you . So if you are in a bad way , there's a lesson in there and if you look hard enough , you'll find it .

But if you keep finding yourself in the same spot all the time , you haven't learned the lesson yet . And whether that's someone else showing you or you know again , sometimes people are doing what they normally do and you're offended by it , or it bugs you , or I mean again , that's for you .

Like if something bugs you about someone else , that's your shit , not theirs . They're allowed to bring people , are allowed to cry . I mean , when you want it , you don't want it anymore . I mean get out .

I've filled up two of these where I just think and ask myself questions and just write , and then the next day I'll challenge that opinion .

That's something that works well for me , and I guess the beauty of having a podcast is I get to speak to people from all walks of life and then I get to think about what their beliefs are and then why would I challenge them or all that sort of stuff ?

And then I get to formulate my own opinions , because I think it is so important to have your own opinions and have genuinely thought about things . So the conversation we've just had has done that for me . Chad , can people follow like ? I know it sounds weird when you say can people follow you , but do you have a blog ?

I know you're going to start a podcast , which I cannot wait for you to launch , but if people want more of the Chad , where can they find you ?

But yeah , no , it's definitely , I'm with you . I'm very excited to start a newsletter or

some sort of . You know Chad's curiosities and I just I spend so much time looking at things that usually I spend enough time down a rabbit hole . I get to the end of it . That it's . It's nice to share why I went down the rabbit hole and then what I discovered .

And you know , maybe save you the trouble and you know , don't go to the end of this one If you get halfway turn around . So I say you know , you don't . You don't know you're in a hole if you keep digging .