Embracing Change: A Woman's Journey of Resilience, Identity, and Overcoming Postpartum Depression with Yuli

Just like you , i wear many hats and own many titles , such as wife , mom , yaya , fur mom , coach , but the most important one , jesus girl , i'm on a mission to lift you up and help you rise from the ashes of pain and suffering , reminding you each day is a new day to begin a new life , a new chapter and a new journey of rediscovery .

So come , sit with me in my virtual kitchen and let's chat a bit and remember . Today is the day that you say I am strong , i am fierce , i am Mommy on a Mission . Good morning , good morning , are you , lovely muquetes ? And welcome back to another episode of Mommy on a Mission podcast .

I am your host , mariana , and I want to just say how grateful and thankful I am that you have decided to tune in this morning . So listen , ladies , i have a very special guest coming on this morning . She is a new mom , a working mom . This is Yuli .

Yuli is coming from me , she is in North Carolina but comes by way of Puerto Rico , and she has been in corporate America for about seven years , decided to go into business coaching to help other women and other folks to really hone in on business coaching and then decided to have a family and took a little bit of time off and is now returning back into

corporate America . A lot of us moms can identify , because nowadays it's very rare that we see stay at home mom . For the most part nowadays it's almost like it requires a two income household . And I say that for myself , you know , also because I too am a working mom .

I used to stay at home mom many years ago , so I know how it feels to be a stay at home mom , and then I know how it feels to be a working mom , and a lot of times there's that debate of stay at home moms versus working moms , and then working moms versus stay at home moms , and there's always this huge debate .

There's always like this I don't know this sense of separation of the two , you know , like one side is probably better than the other side , which in reality both sides require a lot of work , right . And then , in both of those avenues , something happens to us more .

That is that , over time , when we first start in our journeys of trying to pursue what life , career or what life choices we want to make , we feel pretty sure about what we want to do . We feel pretty comfortable about what we want to strive for , what dreams , what hopes , what aspirations we have .

And then time and life happens and it's almost like we lose ourselves right , and so that is what we're going to be talking about today . We're going to be talking about la identidad de la mujer , you know , the women's identity when we begin to lose it . Yuli , thank you so much for being on the podcast with me this morning .

I'm so happy that you've joined me today .

Now everyone gets to stay at home and it's that debate of like , am I being a bad mom because I decided to go back to work , or should I stay home and figure out finances later ? So it's a really full process and circle of who I am . What do I really want to do ? Am I want to stay home because the society is pushing me ?

Am I want to go back to work ? Like it's just like a full process of taking decisions And I'm just really happy to dive into that until more of my story and how I've been able to keep finding myself , because I really believe that you're in constant change . We're always evolving and growing and we're always changing .

So we need to embrace the change and accept it and figure out how we identify ourselves as we're going through that process , and I think that this is a long time process .

I got a role in a big four accounting firm And I just really put my effort and growing my career . So I was able to get to a minor role in a really early age on my career , specifically in accounting . But I was feeling unfulfilled . I was like , well , i had this , but I still haven't had to do something else .

So that's when I decided to open my business coaching because I wanted to do something that I felt that it was fulfilling , that . I felt that it was like making me feel good And I love teaching people .

So I was like , what the best way to really coach people and teach them so they can really see their vision evolve and grow and see it like , like be put into place ? So that's when I decided to start business coaching . And then I got pregnant And then I was so sick that I remember like trying to keep up And this is something that we do all the time .

A woman like I tried to keep up with my work , working 40 , 50 hours a week , trying to keep up with , obviously , like my life demands , like house demands , and then doing my business coaching , with five to six times I was like pregnant . So I was so sick And I was like I cannot do this , like this is impossible .

I cannot keep up , i going to have a burnout And then this is not healthy for the pregnancy . So I was like going to take a break And then I going to come back And that break was like eight months . So I have my daughter . And then I was like I need to go back . I know that I have my job because that's I .

It's really like that's the current financial security that I wanted to have it . And then I I still wanted to do something else .

And that's where I am right now that I really want to be able to advocate for working months by myself , to trust himself and to don't like it's so hard to compare ourselves , especially with social media , when we go out there and we don't feel that we're doing enough months . We don't feel that we have enough time for our kids .

We feel that we don't have enough time for our husband or partner , so significant other , or even our family and friends . So I want them to feel supported And all those emotions that we feel every single day , know that they're not alone in that . And that's that's I . I feel that that's my journey And that's what I want to put out there .

So people feel that it is hard , but it's so rewarding at then of the time to see everything that you are achieving . And really we're going to talk about that today .

Like really trying to in the midst of the you know of the cows that is motherhood and and trying to sustain everything , being able to still being taking that time to talk to yourself , know yourself , be with yourself and doing that self care , which self care can look so different for many people . But like , is that for you ?

It's going to go and get picked here , go for it . I love pedicures as a best thing , but if it's for you to actually spend time and invest in a personal life pushing , go for it . That's you Like , it's what matters . That looks for you really taking the time and put the investment to do it .

So that's a little bit about me and my mission and what I want to really be able to share , to like today , with everyone .

You know the challenges , you know , when we see social media , we women , when we have a family and then a financial obligation with this , which is our job , and there is a partner or a husband involved in the dynamics for some , especially those that can stay home and be home with their children It almost makes us .

We already feel guilty enough that we have to leave our babies , right . I mean , we already feel that hardship , we already feel sad because we bonded with this baby , we bonded with our children . We've been there for the moment that they wake up , you know , changing diapers , no sleep the first few months because they don't have a routine .

We're tired , conojeras , to know that the day's going to come that we have to make a decision whether we're going to stay home or go to work . It's challenging , you know , and we feel some sort of guilt because of that right , and we already have put that pressure on ourselves . You know we're already thinking about it .

And then , when we see social media really going in on it , i mean it makes us feel even worse right As to whether we should go back to work or stay at home .

But realistically speaking , i mean , if we're looking at the market right now , if we're looking at the cost of living right now , it's like I said earlier , it almost requires you to have a two family income , unless your spouse is able to have that income where it can compensate for both , great .

I say that because , you know , last year I took six months off in order to start my coaching business , right , and my husband was like you know , go ahead , do this . But after six months he was like , hey , i think you might have to think about going back to work until the business builds up .

And not that because he wasn't supportive , but it was because it's just almost like overnight , all of these things go up . I knew that I wasn't going to have a problem finding work again , but once again it was putting my dreams . I found hold again . What is so interesting about today's conversation ?

Because we do , even in those short periods of time , we try to create something . And the next thing , you know , we're right back where we feel we started , when in reality we're not . But it's almost like where is my place ? When am I going to be me ? And that was something that you and I had talked about factor of identity .

So talk to us a little bit about how important it is for women to focus on trying to maintain who their identity is and how , over time , it's going to evolve and change .

I always been really hyper-ferming and you know , i complete one test , one goal , and I already looking 10 step forward . What is my next goal ? What are going to go next ?

So I always constantly rushing through life And that's something that I identified that I had to do a little bit with my personality and a little bit with life circumstances and childhood experiences .

So , that been say , at 2018 , 2019 , i lost my grandmother and that changed my perspective of my life and in my case which I think that is the case for a lot of people I was really close with my grandparents . I lived with my mom and my dad , and then my grandparents live in the house under our house .

We lived in the second floor and they live in the first one , so I will see them every single day . They were like I will say that my grandmother was my second mom , like I will have my mother , and then , if I didn't want to know how I was . You know how to talk with her .

I will go to my grandmother and kind of ask for advice and come back to my mom . So I was constantly going between the two of them and she got . She had dementia on time . I just didn't know that she was sick , but it was just like a sleep , like a switch flip . On late She was fine one day and the other day she had a stroke and then she got .

Everything just went downhill . I was already living in the States , So I was doing master , my master degrees of grad school and also working . So I tried to went back home and see her but she was on an entire month really , really , really sick . So I was not able to be the entire month . But the time that she actually passed away I was in the States .

So it was really hard to not be there with her and my family And I think that in my case , when that happened , i just was like , well , you know , life happens , things happen . I love her with my heart . She passed away , i need to continue with my life And I just tried to push forward Like it doesn't matter , i'm going to continue .

But in reality , i was really trying to don't accept the reality of what happened .

And I know that we talked about the five steps of grief , but for me , i was in that state of like I go and ignore whatever happened for a long period of time And until the point that my husband which in that time he was my boyfriend he was like I don't think that you're sad and you're like it's OK , it's OK to be vulnerable , it's OK to express what

you're feeling . And that's when I realized , when I broke up , i was like , oh my goodness , like I just lost her . I lost one of my you know , she was my best friend , like my you know , like your auntie best friend . She was like I'm all over for myself .

I was like , man , this is so hard and difficult And I just through that process , i was so depressed I just lost myself . I would just like I turned my switch from being really independent and mission driven and goal driven to be a people pleaser . So I will just do whatever people wanted me to do , so which included my boyfriend .

That's how I will just like do you want me to do this ? Of course I will do it And I will start it just like not being like I wish I could say myself , and not being fun , no , happy . I was like really going through life when you know , when you're like calm , but reality you're like inside is chaos . That I was like inside .

I was like , okay , i just don't care about anything , so it's going to please people and they're going to forget about me . And little things like thinking care of my body , taking care of my hair , like I will go to the beauty salon . I was not doing any of that . I was just like lost and it took me a long time to start figuring it live .

I will say that I was able to start following my dreams and my goals , but it was not until I had my daughter , which was eight months ago . That that's when a lot of the scenes I started realizing . I realized that I didn't know who I was . I didn't I just starting this person that will just please people or will have resentment .

like three blocks away , whereas my other grandmother lived in Mexico . so we only saw her during the summer When my maternal grandmother passed away . I mean , yes , i cried and I hurt and everything , but it was not that I didn't love my grandmother any less than my other one , but I think it's because I was around my grandmother all the time .

So , when my grandmother passed away and this was in 2014 , i felt , i felt very sad , like it was , you know , like I really . Just it began , the depression was there , but it was more the sadness , the grievance and stuff . And then , eight months later , my sister passes away at 31 .

So I lose my grandmother and then I lose my sister , And I can relate to what you're saying about you almost want to separate your feelings , right ? Yes , like you're , you know that you need to grieve , you know that you should be grieving , you know somewhere in your mind is telling you I need to do this . But it's almost like you .

We've put ourselves like in this . I don't want to call it a bubble , but it's almost like we want to compartmentalize our feelings and not and we don't want to go there We don't want to go . We want to keep that .

But yet we want to focus on because if we focus on ourselves , we're afraid to break down , because we feel like if we do We're not going to be able to get back from it . But deep down inside we're still making ourselves sick and we're still falling into depression and we're still isolating ourselves , even though we're trying to people please .

But it's almost like we're still isolating ourselves from others because we don't want people to get close enough to us , because we don't want to feel that hurt . Is that what ? you say that's very similar to what you experience 100% , 100% .

I was like I don't even want to be close to you , because what if you leave me ? What if this doesn't work out ? I just don't want to get in this situation where I know that I can break apart again . I know that it was . What I went through was so hard that I never wanted to go through it again .

What I did is I just pulled walls so people cannot get close to me . So that means that I didn't want people to see who I really was . So I was just acting of what people wanted from me , but in reality I was not giving them who I really was .

because it lets me know that I'm not the only one , i'm not alone . There's someone else that is feeling these same emotions .

And so I know that for me it was downhill , and even though I already had children , i have a husband and we had just moved into a year later , we had just moved into our new home , we were going to create all these wonderful memories , but I felt like , slowly but surely , those feelings that I was trying to separate were starting to really filter inside of

me and it was starting to show Like I was starting to ball into a depression that I almost could not get myself out of , you know , and I'm very fortunate because my husband was there , although he didn't understand exactly what I was feeling , but he was there , not questioning me , and that is when I think that was the turning point for me .

And then I don't know if you ever watched One Day , at a Time with the host of the channel , that episode where she goes and the doctor prescribes her the medication for her depression , because she has PTSD , and then she has that strong debate whether I should take it or not , because of course , her mom's like no , you know , eso es para los locos .

Tú no estás loca . We don't need that medication . You know , we're strong women And I think that mentality there is what sometimes forces us to not want to come to that realization that we need to reach out and get help .

My depression was not sad . It was not like me going in and being crying all day , which I want to highlight that the person can be so different for many people .

In my case , it was like I was so mad at the world that my son it was reflected through being angry at every single person , my parents that they leave tons of mice are wet for me so they are never going to do absolutely nothing wrong to me , to my sister , to my husband , to every single , to my friends , every single person .

Which is like this anger that I was not able to control , and it was not until I remember my husband asking me what is like , what is wrong ? What is so wrong that you're so angry ? And I was like I honestly don't know . There's nothing wrong , but there's nothing on my life that is wrong besides me and what I'm feeling .

It has nothing to do with any of you guys . I know that I'm angry to you , but it's not your fault . I'm just processing so many things . I'm processing , i'm grieving And through all that process I also lost one baby before we had our child . We lost a baby at ten weeks . So I was also angry of why that needed to happen to me .

Yet I was not enough to lose my grandmother , i also needed to go through that . So it was just so many emotions And you feel a loss because you're feeling so much that you don't know where to go , how to go about it And like do I go to therapy ? You know therapy is also . I feel that therapy is like dating .

You need to go through a lot of therapies until you find the one that you like Absolutely . So it also takes time to build that communication , to feel confidence .

So it was just like a long process for me where it took me years like I say , up to I have my daughter , so we're talking about two to almost three years to really understand my emotions , what I was feeling and how to work through it and get the help needed . And in my case it's so funny of the TV show because it's really cultural .

But my parents were like , but you're all right , like it's everything , okay , just go through life . But like life is so hard And I'm like , but it doesn't have to be . And it was so hard for me to have that conversation of being vulnerable , wanting feeling , because they just are , it's their culture , like , well , we just , you know , we just push forward .

Life is hard , right , you just continue , like it's just part of living . And when you're in that situation you don't want to hear that . That's the last thing that you want to hear . So they were trying to be helpful , but in that case they were not to me .

And yes , like I 100% relate with the TV show where you're feeling , because at that time I was like , well , i can get through this by myself .

And even that too is a challenge in itself , because not only do we have the debate of being a stay-at-home mom or a working mom , but then we have that debate of , you know , within our own culture , you know , about taking medication or not taking medication , or you don't believe enough in God that He's going to heal you .

And then there's that big debate because now they're guilting you because you don't love God enough , or that you don't trust God enough to help you . But it's not even about that . I mean , i'm a firm believer that we need to do what we feel is best .

And if , for me , if it's to be on medication for a while until God decides , hey , you're completely healed , you no longer need that .

But until that happens , you know I'm going to continue , because for right now , it is what's keeping me where I need to be , because during our , during that moment of depression , during those moments of grieving , because it's all related . We do find ourselves starting to lose ourselves .

Oh yeah , really easily We forget about what it is that we wanted out of life , because it's almost like that hurt and that pain . It almost seems like it pushes those things down right . And then what happens is we forget who we even are . Would you say that's how you were going through as well .

But I think that he also gave us so many tools here in ERD and people in ERD that can guide you and help us , And that's reason I advocate for for therapists and also getting medications . Sometimes you are in this stage that you need that and God is okay , like he's okay with that . He will guide you . He will still heal you .

He's using resources to walk through the process with you And that's this and I just wanted to make that point because that's something that is really hard for me , because having this conversation with Latinos families is so difficult because they don't believe in that .

They believe that you can be all healed by the power of God , which I do believe , but sometimes you need a little bit of extra help and he will open those doors for you .

But I will also say that that 100% happened for me like losing , I lost myself And even like I feel that I find myself through pregnancy and like no pregnancy , but when I have a therapy , in reality I experienced postpartum anxiety . It was all like , oh , now I , oh , good , now I know who I am . I was like I think that I'm getting to know myself .

And then , like postpartum anxiety , he really bad . And I was even in do I want to say , huh , where my daughter do I want to go back to her , What we're talking about at the beginning of this . And then those emotions , that that anxiety of not being with her all day .

Those first days I will look at my phone every single three minutes And I will , you know , check out her mouth , some like crazy . And I will check her out when she will get from the 90 and like , make sure that she will look good , Like it was .

It was to the point that it was not healthy And I needed to recognize that anxiety was there And I always been an anxious person , that it was a Jesus can recognize her when it's going out of the norm , When it's like going that path that is no healthy And it was affecting me , it was affecting my marriage And I was like I and it was affecting my daughter

too , because she doesn't , you know , she didn't want to do it . I was just mouthed . I was like , well , I know that I don't want her to experience my anxiety , and babies can like , they can sense that . So I know that I need to work on myself .

So , through that process , I think that through losing yourself and finding yourself again , it's important to recognize that sometimes that process will also entails some depression and anxiety and looking for the tools that you need to work through that . On my case , I was able to work through therapy , but I was in the sense of also getting medication .

It was not working out because I just wanted to feel better And in my case , that identity also looks like . I understand that I am an anxious person and that's part of who I am And that is okay . That doesn't make me a inferior person . That doesn't make me less than other people . That is just part of who I am .

I need to learn how to work through it And recognizing that . I think that after finding that identity involves recognizing your good parts , but also recognizing all the so good parts and how you can work with them , because we're not perfect . We're and that's the beauty . That's the beauty We're all working progress .

We can always be better , And I think that that process also helped me to identify that it's okay not to be perfect , because that was all the other thing . I was like these professionals that everything needed to be a certain way . If not , I needed to . For example , if I'm wedding , I need an S , Y and C .

If that didn't happen , I will go nuts and I will get mad . I really turned into flexibility , like selecting things that were for me at the moment And if it works for me , not for anyone else , that's also okay . So I will say that finding that identity involves many things how we can break them down to make it easy for people to hear to us .

But I will say number one is definitely recognizing those good and also good parts , And the other part will be also looking for help when you need , when you know that you need the help , and identifying the help and vulnerability and grace to ourselves .

Really be graceful for ourselves because we bashing ourselves so much for doing like oh , you were not good enough , Oh , you didn't good , that you were not good enough . Wife , today You didn't listen to your husband . Today You're not a good mommy . Today You're spring to your kids . You didn't pick up your . You know you were working in your case .

We're always constantly influencing our mind and ourselves with negativity . So really giving ourselves that grace Okay , You know , I was so nice to my husband today because I have a really hard day And I it's okay , I go into apologize for him Really reframing that mindset .

So we give our soul that grace And I say in this this is not easy , I don't know if you get it , I don't tell people , you know you turn your switch and tomorrow you will become really positive and everything will be fine .

It is a working process , But I start taking these little steps will get you to feel better and will help you to keep looking to find that identity .

We have all these resources that we're provided in order to be able to assist or help someone else .

And that first thing that you said was , you know , recognizing yourself and that's that inventory of yourself , being self aware and , like you're right , it's not easy , because for a long time it wasn't easy for me to acknowledge that I had anger issues , that I had , you know , jealousy , or that I had resentment , or that I had any of these other things you

know , because , you know , growing up I had all these angers that you know , that was still inside of me , that I had never acknowledged , and it wasn't until through life experiences and life lessons and then really becoming a coach and having those tools to take inventory . Like they say , you need to check yourself right .

I had to check in with myself and recognize what was triggering me . Why do I get so upset , why do I get so sad ? You know why do I emotionally eat , why do I spend money carelessly ?

You know all of those things and that's even you know with the postpartum depression , that's with grieving , you know someone's , you know death or just life hardships can cause all of these things And you don't even realize that you're starting to hold on to all of these things until it comes out .

And so I think what you said is it's very important that we be self-aware and it's not an easy process And then to be vulnerable for women that's hard .

We feel that if we do show vulnerability , that's a sign of weakness , which is further from the truth , because the truth of the matter is it's when we're vulnerable and we allow ourselves to express those feelings . It's what's making us that much stronger . But we do have that tendency to feel those things in those situations .

What was that turning point in your life that allowed you to recognize , or that caused you to recognize that hey , something's wrong . I need to make these changes and this is what I need to do .

He was like there's like you're not okay , and he even called my dad and he made my dad come so they were able to sit down with me and had a really tender conversation , like we don't think that you're okay and we want to look for the help for you and I would just I just broke crying .

I was like I know that , i know okay , but I don't know where to start , like I don't know what I need to do . I was just like crying because I was like I know that I know okay , but I just don't feel that there's a solution , like I don't think that anyone can fix me .

And and I just started like really , like you know , going to therapy , going to church and really listening and anchoring on my faith to God and also to like at that time my boyfriend was a key person of my , my parents to to help me navigate my grief , and that , and also the first , the first part , the second part because I feel that after I lost that

baby , my full pregnancy , i was so scared of losing it . You know I didn't enjoy my pregnancy because I was constantly thinking what is something goes wrong , what is something doesn't work . You know , and , like you know , they sold your baby kick . I will count that like crazy . You know it's chocolate , anything to fill the baby .

It was just like and it was a lot of pain out on Saturday , and I didn't know that this was a thing until I had my daughter , where people told me that people can have depression inside it through the pregnancy .

And that was me , i did it and I had it , and it was not until I have my daughter that I recognized that I , for me , the turning point was like I don't want to lose everything , like to lose the opportunity to shine , to lose the opportunity to give back to my daughter , to enjoy every second of time with her and to also enjoy my marriage .

Because I'm just always anxious , i always , you know , like depressed or sad . I'm always angry , like say that anger , because a lot of time the anger comes from that feeling of either resentment or sadness and I just know that I was feeling all of that but I didn't want it to feel like I just it's like .

You know that you have a lot of emotions that you don't want to feel , but still you feel them , but you don't have to get there , out of there . Like you're like oh man , i don't like this , but how do I get out of here ?

in my case , it was like I want to be the best wife and also want to be the best mother , and I know that I don't know being right now , and I know happy with myself . It was I want to also love myself and feel happy and the self awareness where I am .

And I was unhappy with like , just with my actions and where it was , and I know that I was able to give more , but I needed help to figure it out . I needed someone to guide me and and that's where that was my second turning point of like , let's figure it out where I am right now and let's figure out where I want to go .

And that's the reason I say that it's a working process , because life is not easy like I wish that I could tell people okay , you went through this trial , life is going to be easy , going forward , never going to experience something wrong , but unfortunately it's not like that .

So , as we keep experiencing the different challenges that we go through in life , you will experience either a change in your identity or a crisis in your identity , and it's good to be able to have that self-awareness to identify and work through it .

You know , the first time it's really hard to do it , but as you experienced this and you had the tools , it's easier to navigate these challenges into identifying when you're departing from who you are , because you already know who you are and where do you want to go . And I will say that is also okay .

If you don't know what you know , where do you want to go , it is okay to take a time to and , through that understanding your identity , figure it out . Like try different things . Like try , let's say , like you want to coach people , but you don't know where to start . Like you can try life coaching . You can try I don't know nutrition coaching .

You can try . Like business coaching . Like you can try things until you figure out why you wanted . That is okay too . Like yes , identity is not standing stone .

I mean , i think we're all rooted with that one special gift that God has given us right , because that's what he's going to use in order for us to be there for someone else , but at the same time , he allows for us to explore other areas , because I think that , with the tools that he provides and tools that he gives us , allows us to utilize them in other

ways , through other things , not just one specific thing , and , like you said , we it .

Sometimes it's gonna take for us to try different things until we find that one thing that really truly like I don't know , and it's hard to describe that feeling because it's like , when you know , you know right yes , it's like you know , when it's it's just like I don't .

I feel that my county is always to teach and encourage and empower people and I really get speaking and like helping people and like really my husband say that I'm gonna tell you , always find a way , like you always find a way to people . You always have the words , the right words to get to people .

Thank you , that's amazing , our relationship , but that's also amazing when I get to tell people and change and so for me that look like doing business , coaching and that looks now looks more like empowerment and speaking and supporting people , so you can have a calling that actually will .

God will take you to different places to utilize it , like you say , in different ways and and I think that the best way to find that which is going to be popular identity is really praying and really asking tell me , tell me like , what do you want from me as a person like God , hello .

I told you three prayers ago that I needed to tell me , so sometimes I really be conscious and keep praying because you will find it and and , like I said , that's part of our identity .

now you're working again in corporate America . But because of the things that you experienced although you were doing very well as a business coach you decided which goes into the point that you were just now talking that your , the tools that you gained from that and what you were experiencing .

Now you want to take it into a new direction , or a different direction , and really focus in on women or moms who have had similar experiences with losing their identity through , you know , postpartum depression or even through grief . Right , is that that where you're okay ? yeah , talk to me a little bit . So , talk to me a little bit about that .

What are your future plans to help build that out ?

I have a friend that she and this is having this conversation with other women actually what fueled me to go with my plans . But I have a friend that she didn't realize that she had postpartum depression up to like two years after .

She just thought that it was normal hormonal things that were happening to her when in reality she was in crisis and sad and depressed . And I think that a lot of times when you are postpartum , your label ask you're still hormonal , especially if you're breast feeding your babies , because you know you're breastfeeding , you have hormones all over the place .

It is normal and everything that is say like normal . I will say that 90% of the time it is not normal and you definitely should look into it . And I think that my plans are really .

First of all , i want to share content and I want to be able to bring people that are experts in this topics to really gather that expertise and share with those women that are really going through that and starting depression and returning back to work and how to navigate that .

And I really aspire to create a community where we can support each other and have proven mentoring , like communities where people can come together when you don't feel alone , because it's the other thing sometimes . I remember my boss .

She was like , oh , i prefer to find I didn't have any problem breastfeeding or my maternity leave was amazing and I was in here like I haven't slept for a week , i cannot even get milk out , like why are you talking about ? this is horrible , are you crazy ? so sometimes you go out there and people don't really either share the right experiences , and I will .

I will stick with that . I will see with that . People don't share the reality of the experiences , because I have not met a single mom that hadn't , that had told me that everything was smooth and fine and they didn't suffer a little bit and you know those first three weeks were perfect . I haven't met that person still .

So I will say that people know , share the reality and I want to create that nurturing community where people can come as they are and feel supported at the same . What that we actually use .

God our , you know , also our savior that is with us through the process give you the opportunity to become mothers is going to give you the tools for us to really be Whatever definition we have as a mother for our kids , and that's my inspiration .

I really feel that I needed that community and that support , and I was able to have it , so I want others to have it too .

And I'm finding more and more that I've started my business of mujeres alcanzando metas imposibles , which is mommy on a mission , and then , because of that , when I stepped out on faith to really start that , i started meeting other Latina women , such as yourself .

It's like you saw me through someone that I knew that pretty much is delivering a message of empowerment , but it's a different type of message , right , whereas my message is a little bit different as well .

So we all have that desire to want to help and build and empower women , but it's going to look different because we each represent a different phase of someone's life . I'm in one phase of a life . Your coaching is going to be a different phase . The other coaches , they're a different .

It's whatever you're feeling in that moment And there shouldn't ever be that feeling of competition , because I think this world is big enough where we all have an opportunity . And here's the thing Not everyone is going to receive a message from , let's say , from me , the way they would receive it from you , right ? Or vice versa .

Maybe somebody's going to hear your message , but perhaps they hear it , but it's the delivery or how they , it's what it is that they receive , and they might receive it a little bit different .

It's never going to be the same thing , but we all have that same desire in mind And that's to encourage , empower , inspire , motivate , come alongside someone , provide them the supports , provide them that accountability , piece The prayer , if we need to pray for them .

But all of those things and saying , listen , we don't have to be separate , we can come together , because it's like the Bible says , when two or more gather , that's when God's presence is in the midst , right , and so we need to really come together for those things . So I'm excited for you .

I think you're going to have a very powerful message to share to many women , because I think they need to hear this message . I wish somebody was available to me like you're going to be available to so many women . I think I wish I would have had that , and and you know , mind you , i've had five children .

But that's not where my calling is to be able to empower , because I was very fortunate in my pregnancy . I'm not going to say my pregnancies were easy because they were five , but they were all completely different . But I will say that I was very fortunate in the fact that during my pregnancies I was in the right .

It was like almost the right time And I had somewhat of support . It was like I think my two middle kids is where I was living through challenges . But it wasn't so much the pregnancy , it was what was outside of the pregnancy that was causing that challenge .

And and so that's why I said for me it wasn't during those moments of my pregnancy , it was more the outside things .

But I think for for you you felt that , and I think , like my daughter would have , when she was pregnant with her baby and after she had her baby , hearing you would have been a form of comfort , because I , honestly , i didn't know really how to comfort my daughter other than be a mom And of course I didn't dismiss anything that she said .

But I knew that I wasn't the right person to give her what she needed And so I , as a coach , i did what I would have done to any other client that was provide her those resources and say Hey look here's places that can help you out through postpartum depression and all those things , because I really don't feel that I ever experienced that .

I have experienced depression , i have experienced anxiety , but it was all affected because of other things , not , i think , my pregnancies , having the baby was what kept me grounded .

For me , you know , but I , you know , like I said , it would have been great to have had somebody like you in my life , just in case perhaps I would have been feeling something like that . But more importantly for , like , like you said , my daughter And so Yuli . So tell me , what is one thing you would like to share ?

I know we've spoken a lot and we've shared a lot , but what is that ? one piece of advice I guess , if you will , you would like to give other women . And then how ? if someone wanted to reach out to you to discuss a little bit more about how they're feeling , how would they be able to connect with you ?

So there's a great book that I love from Brain Brown called Daring Gridley , and I think that that book support me and hold me a lot through that grooming process , and there's I going to read a quote that say vulnerability is not winning or losing , it is having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome .

Vulnerability is not weakness , it's our greatest measure of courage And that's what I want to share with people .

Like , being vulnerable actually means that you're courageous , that you decided to live a life with courage And through those life challenges and through those difficult times , having that vulnerability , being able to express where you really are , how you want to be supported at this time , is really going to be able to navigate them way easier .

And I'm telling you this because I took the other route . I took the route where I was vulnerable and where it was really difficult . But share it , feel it , talk with people and you will start feeling better . And that's what I want .

People , if you want to take any away from this amazing conversation , take that path , be vulnerable and embrace the challenge and also embrace the change . So people definitely want to connect with me , which I would love . They can find me in Instagram through our Hey Julie Montes , and you can send me a DM .

I definitely will connect with you and we can keep the conversation going . But , yeah , if you feel that you're either pregnant or you're right now postpartum , you're struggling , you're a working month Definitely reached out , because I want to be able to support you And , if I can , i want to be able to connect you with people that can provide you that support .

And again , i mean , if you know of someone that can benefit from today's message , please share this podcast , share this episode with them and let them know . Hey , listen , i heard something really great about your identity and postpartum and working moms versus staying hormones .

Send them directly to this episode , let them hear this message , and I encourage you all to reach out to Julie . I think she's going to do some amazing work . I think God is leading her in the right direction . And once again , i just want to say thank you all so much for tuning in this morning . I'm so glad that we were able to spend some time together .

Julie , thank you so much for taking the time to just have a conversation with me . We didn't have any cafecito in hand , but hey , listen , that's OK . We'll always have our little virtual cafecito next time . But just remember , subscribe to this episode , share this podcast with another mohad , who could benefit from all the messages that are here .

So until next time , i will tune in next Saturday and I hope you join me once again on the Mommy on a Mission podcast . If you are hearing this message , you've listened to the entire episode And for that I want to say me gracias from the bottom of my heart .

If you would like to dive deeper into today's message and would like to connect with me , send the DM on Instagram at olamommyonamission , or Facebook at Mommy on a Mission . You can also find me at mommyonamissioncom .

I hope you've enjoyed this new episode And if you did , it would mean the world to me if you would subscribe , share this podcast and leave me a review on Spotify and Apple podcasts or wherever you listen to your podcast . Tune in next week for some more words of motivation , inspiration and encouragement on Mommy on a Mission podcast .