Break Up with what Broke You: Turning Pain Into Purpose

Just like you , I wear many hats and own many titles , such as wife , mom , yaya , fur mom , coach , but the most important one , jesus girl , I'm on a mission to lift you up and help you rise from the ashes of pain and suffering , reminding you each day is a new day to begin a new life , a new chapter and a new journey of rediscovery .

So come , sit with me in my virtual kitchen and let's chat a bit and remember . Today is the day that you say I am strong , I am fierce , I am Mommy on a Mission . Hello , hello , welcome to another episode of Mommy on a Mission podcast . I'm your host , mariana , and let me just say welcome .

If this is your first time here , I'm glad that you've decided to join me this morning and for all of you listeners who have continuously supported me for almost a year , can you all believe it ?

Mommy on a Mission is going to be one year old in on the 20th , on the 20th of September , and I'm so excited because there's going to be so many things that are going to be changing up , like , for instance , season three will be ending and season four will restart , but it's going to be longer seasons and I don't want to spoil the reasons why , but it's

going to capture a lot more audience . A lot more mojad is out there , and so I'm so excited about that . To my services part because you know I'm also a live coach , and so my life coaching part I'm also going to be incorporating some new things on there as well .

Right now , I'm going to be seeking out three people to do a case study with to help test the product that I'm going to be launching out , and then , once I do , then it'll launch out officially . And , lastly , I've got the gift card giveaway . So don't forget that from now through August 31st , I have the gift card giveaway .

So if you buy my book Mommy on a Mission a guide towards healing , self discovery and walking in confidence if you haven't heard about it , listen you can go on Amazon or you can go to my website and you can purchase the book there .

So I'm very , very excited about all of these things that are happening and I just can't wait to launch all of this out for you and with you . But listen , I wanted to come on to talk about you know . Okay , so for the last what ?

Three weeks , four weeks , I've been talking a lot about Rise Girl Rise and then , of course , the book launch and a lot of the ladies well , some of the ladies that were at Rise Girl Rise we meet together , I want to say about every week , if not every two weeks , and we just kind of like start talking and just letting each other know how things are going

in our lives , because Rise Girl , rise Girl Rise was such an impactful event that I mean it's just like having us continuously collaborate with one another and we really want to pour into muquetes who really need that . I mean , like we saw the benefit of it and that's exactly what , you know , we want to continue to do .

And also , at the launch , you know , I've had people come in and that were inspired by the stories that they heard , that bought books for their friend , for their moms because , yes , I had guys that were there too , that bought books for their moms , and it was very encouraging .

It was really , really encouraging to feel supported in the fact that people benefited from that information , so much so that they want to go ahead and purchase a book and give it to someone , and that means so much to me . It was a very humbling experience .

I was very honored by it and everything and so , but it got me to thinking so here in the last four weeks , you know we've been seeing kind of a shift going on .

You know a lot of us that were at the event and you know it got me to pause for a moment and think about where I am today , the things that I'm doing now , but at the same time as things pretty much going for me at this moment , but for others it's almost like they're on autopilot .

So I was listening to my Amiga , my friend's podcast , which is Dear Fearless Mohed , and if you haven't heard it , you know go out and listen to it . You know she was my coach so she taught me a lot of the things that I'm doing now .

But in her podcast she was talking about being on , the dangers of being on autopilot , and the thing about being on autopilot is that you're just going with emotions , you're just moving , you're not really focusing on too much of anything , because it's like you can't focus on too much of anything and you're just pretty much stuck where you're at right , and that

can be dangerous because there's no growth happening , there's no movement taking place and there's no healing taking place , for that matter . And at the same time I was reading so I do this app , a plan on the Bible app , and on that app it was it's talking about .

So the topic of that is breaking free from what broke you , how God can redeem and rewrite your story , and it got me to thinking about my life .

You know I started to pause for a minute and just reflect a little bit back , and I know I've said the story before , but for those of you who are new , you know my life started over again at 19 , and so I was . I was reading this plan , this thing here , and I've got my notes here so you might hear my paper shuffling .

Oh and , by the way out , listen , I had already recorded this episode while I was at home . I recorded this and I had the volume on low , or I didn't even have the volume on , so when I went to go back to edit the episode , I didn't have any content on there I was like , oh my god . And today is Tuesday , which means that so , yes , I do pre-record .

So which means that today my son has baseball practice and I'm actually recording this out of my car because , you know , when you're a mommy on a mission , you have to do what you have to do , and I'm doing that right now . So I feel like a lot of you all can appreciate that , because we're we're always busy , we're always doing things .

But getting back to what I was saying , it's like I'm sitting here and I'm like , wow , lord , you know , 19 years ago I was in a broken marriage , I was getting divorced , becoming a single mom again , taking care of three children and going back to school and trying to figure my life out .

And had someone told me 19 years ago that I would have a podcast , that I would have a book that made the best sellers list on Amazon , or that I would be on speaking engagements , I would have probably looked at them like , yeah , okay , whatever .

And I think , even if God himself would have told me that I I was so just , I was just so in the pit back then that I probably would not have believed it , and and the thing about it is is that I was .

I was pretty much similar to some of you know , some people on autopilot , but at the same time , my identity was so wrapped up on my hurts , my pain , like I couldn't . If somebody were to have asked me , you know , to talk about myself , you know what I would have probably been talking about . Oh yeah , well , my husband cheated on me .

He was a drug addict , you know . He would physically abuse me , verbally abuse me , all of the negative stuff , and and it would have been true . However , that's not who I was . That was just circumstances that were happening in my life , but that wasn't me . And it's almost like we don't know how to break up with the things that are destroying us .

It's like we hold on to it because it's what we are at that moment , or what we're living through in that moment , and it's like we don't . We don't know how to break free , we don't know how to break up with it .

It's just like when you're dating a toxic person and it's like you want to break up I know this because I was married to one and it's like you want to break up with that person , you want to walk away , but you don't know how , because your identity is so wrapped up in that person .

Well , sometimes our identity can be wrapped up in that destructive cycle and we don't know how to break free from it , and so we don't know how to break free from it . Then we don't know how to move forward and we don't know how to start a new life .

We don't know how to start a new path , and so it takes courage to leave behind the pain and hurt that wants to find us okay , and so we have to take that step . We have to be able to open ourselves up to possibilities , and amidst the chaos and confusions , we have to remember that there is hope and healing .

And a lot of times we can't see that God wants so much for us , that he wants to heal us , that he wants us to have hope in him , but yet we can't . We can't see him as the ultimate healer and redeemer because we cannot break free from that destructive cycle .

It's like we're carrying that baggage with us and we don't know how to drop it off and let it go . But you know what ? He can take those broken pieces of our lives , and he can turn them into something beautiful . And had it not been that I am a witness to my own journey , that I am a testament to how God has healed me .

Listen , I was told the other day that someone I know was had heard the podcast . Now this person and I I'm not going to say we're not friends , but we do have to be in the same room at times together . Okay , I'll just leave it at that and this person you know had heard some of my podcast messages and said and said that I was very monotone .

If this would have been something I would have heard years ago , I probably would have said you know what , I'm not going to do this anymore . I'm not going to do my podcast anymore . You know what ? What ? For ?

Because I would have just , I would have focused on just that one person's opinion , where others have been very encouraging and have gone on you know social media and have said , hey , you've got to hear this podcast . You know this message .

You know , or they'll tell me oh , my God , maria , and I heard your podcast and you know it really inspired me , it motivated me , it encouraged me . You know it's gotten me to move forward with my goals and my plans , but yet I would have focused on that one person . And .

But you know what I didn't , and the thing about it is is that I take everything , any remark or constructive criticism , and perhaps it wasn't coming from her heart in that way , but I received it in that way because you know what we can all use some improvement in our lives , because if we don't improve , we don't grow .

If we don't listen to things then with an open mind , then we close ourselves off from it . And the thing about it is is that it's not about wrapping yourself up and giving up or throwing in the towel , but it's about really being open to the possibilities that are out there .

And so , like I was saying , you know God is the ultimate healer and redeemer right , he really , really is . And whether it's a broken relationship , a failed career or a shattered dream , god can use it all for your benefit . He can rewrite your story and make it better than you've ever imagined .

And I'm like I said he's taken everything that I had to endure , the things that I had to live through , the lessons that I had to learn . He is using that . He's using it to repurpose that information so that I can go out and share it with other women , such as my book . I've been able to create a book , a guide .

It's bits and pieces of my life , but it's broken down in such a way that , instead of focusing on the negative things that happen , it's going to talk a little bit about it .

But the beauty of the book is that it turns it around and it talks about the processes of the things that I had to do , the things that I took from all of that and how I was able to move forward and then go back and share those lessons with other women to let them know that they are not alone in what they're feeling or what they're living , that there

are other muhetas out there , and that's what Mami on a Mission is all about . Mami on a Mission is a community .

It is something that's there for other muhetas to know that we are here to help you , to support you , to encourage you , to empower you to reach your impossible goal , no matter what that goal is , and that you too can have a really great life , that you don't have to stay stuck , you don't have to keep that old boyfriend with you .

You know and I'm going to look at it as that destructive cycle you don't have to hold on to it , and so , in saying all of this , I want to give you , you know , some things to ponder on , like , for instance , gaining a new perspective . Sometimes it's hard to see the bigger picture when you're in the middle of a storm .

I know it was hard for me to see any good coming out of anything , especially when I was living through that marriage that I was living through . And then God can help you see things from a different angle , which can change your outlook in life . Sometimes we have to stop and look at things a little bit differently . It's like art .

Not everybody sees art the same .

Some people , depending on how they feel , may see a piece of art and find the gloominess in it , but then you have somebody else that will see something cheerful out of it , will have a completely different message , and so we have to stop and shift our perspective , shift our outlook and look at things so much differently to get you know another way of looking

at things . I guess , then , strength to overcome . When you feel weak and helpless , god can give you the strength to persevere and he can help you overcome any obstacles that come your way . This is so true for me because in those moments where I was feeling defeated , where I didn't have the strength to continue to go on .

God placed wonderful people in my life to coach me , to mentor me , to encourage me , to motivate me to keep going forward . When I wanted to throw in the towel , they were there to help me along the way .

And you know , I can just appreciate the people that God placed in my life , because there were times that I was crying and it always reminded me of the scripture and it's my favorite scripture Philippians 4-13 where it says I can do all things through Christ , who gives me strength , because that's all I could do was lean on Him for strength , because I didn't

have it . I was just tired , y'all . I was very tired . I was going to school , I was working full time , I was taking care of my kids . I didn't have any money . I was , I had . My finances were crap , my credit score I couldn't even .

Oh my God , I think if I wanted to put a piece of gum on credit , I wouldn't have been able to , because that's how bad my credit was , all of the things , and and it was just depressing it was , it was very , very depressing what I was going through and there were times , like I said , that I didn't want to keep going .

I just wanted to throw in the towel but , like I said , god placed some people that . That helped me and that encouraged me . And then another thing to think about is finding community . You know , god knows that we need a supportive community to thrive , and he'll bring people in your life who will walk alongside you .

It's like I just said , you know , god knew when I was feeling tired and weak , that he was going to provide people . That was going to be my strength in that moment . And again , that's what we're all about here .

The collaboration that I have with Miami , as I live in Fort Worth , that you know I collaborated with during the whole time of me launching my book , of me going on speaking engagements and , you know , with the Rise Grow , Rise conference that collaboration right there let's me know that I'm in the right place because I have people who are very supportive .

I could have very easily listened to that negativity from that person , but I have to ship my perspective and wonder from what place is she coming from ?

She is in a place that she needs support , that she needs encouragement , and so I'm just going to love on her and I'm going to continue to pray for her , because perhaps she's coming from a place that she needs that and we all do All of us .

We all need someone that we can walk alongside with , that we can bounce ideas off of each other with , but that are going to encourage us to keep going and then turning pain into purpose .

Your pain and struggles can be used to help others who are going through something very similar to you , and God will use your story to inspire and encourage others , and that is my hope . With my book , mommy on a Mission , as well as with this podcast , as well as with the life coaching that I provide .

I pray to God that he , you know , is going to help me , inspire and encourage other women to find their way in this life , because it can be messy , it can be chaotic , it can be , you know , it can be saddening sometimes , but that is my goal . My goal is to just really be there for women . I don't , you know , I don't .

I want to just love on these women , any woman that needs the help , and it doesn't have to be a moot head who's going through hard times . It can just be a moot head who wants to take their business to the next level , who wants to find better employment , who's in a good spot but just wants to level up .

I'm here for them to not just for the women that are going through some things because you know what ?

I'm in a phase in my life where I'm trying to level up myself and I want to be able to help someone else level up , whether that be in the where they are at that particular moment , not just in the struggles or in the pain , but in those times of feeling good where they need that extra support to just , you know , continue to improve .

So we're not perfect and we have to remember that blessings are not rewards . You know , that's funny because I remember like loosely using the word blessings as if it were a trophy , like , okay , you know , if I do this for this person , you know God's going to bless me with this , as if he was giving me a trophy for being a good person .

No , god has already called me to be a good person . God is calling all of us to serve his people and it's not about receiving a trophy , like when you're in Little League . It's about truly utilizing those blessings to bless others , right ?

So instead of asking about seeing the blessings as a prize , we need to be asking ourselves what am I doing with my blessings ? Right ? And because it's not that we deserve these blessings . It's that God wants to gift us these blessings because he's just that loving of a father .

It's just like when our kids we just want to buy them gifts just because , not , they don't have to earn it , they don't have to do anything per se special . We just want to gift them with that right .

But at the end of the day , when you do give something out of the kindness of your heart To someone and then you see that that gift was just tossed to the side , it hurts . So are we doing the same thing with the blessings that God is bestowing upon us ? Are we just tossing it to the side ?

Or another way I like to see it too is Sometimes we have , we receive , blessings from God , but are we going to be like that person that hordes that blessing and doesn't want to share it ? How many of you have gone to jobs and the people that are training you for the job , the position that you are now working in or have done ?

And they're the ones that carry all the information . They have all of the resources , they have everything that you need in order to be able to do your job and then probably even progress , but yet they don't want to share that information with you , and it could be because of fear . Maybe they're afraid that you're about to take their job .

Maybe they don't want to give you the resources because you know they don't want you to be successful . Whatever the case , I've had managers like that . I've had managers that wanted to keep me where I was at . They didn't want to see me flourish , they didn't want to see me shine . They didn't want to share their information .

They only gave me just enough information to get by , but didn't want to give me full information Because they were afraid that I would end up taking their job position , or they were afraid that I was going to be recognized for the job .

And a lot of times that comes from people who are very insecure with themselves or with their abilities , and so , instead of Helping someone else shine , they want to keep you down .

And so are we doing that with the blessings that God has given us , that God has gifted us with , are we just going to keep it for ourselves , or are we going to share it so that they , too , can benefit from that ? And so we have to ask ourselves those questions .

Right , we all have the gift of a second chance for redemption and God's repurposing To take his hand . We must let go of what we're holding on to . Wow , I'm gonna say that again to take his hand , we must let go of what we're holding on to .

So I'm gonna ask you this if you're in a messed up relationship and you're asking God constantly to remove that relationship from your life and God is doing what he can he removes that person , are you gonna be that person to go back and say , oh no , no , no , you need to come back .

But yeah , you just ask God to remove that thing out of your life , but yet you're reaching out and grabbing it and bringing it back . So we have to know how to let go of things . We have to know how to say goodbye to the things that are not benefiting us at all . It's just like the job too . I remember having to pray and pray for jobs .

I wanted to , you know , get out of this one job or whatever , but I stayed because it was security for me at least that's how I saw it and Things would pass me by , opportunities would pass me by , because I was too afraid to let God do what he was needing to do , and and and allow me to .

I mean , I was afraid to allow God to Do what he needed to do in order for me to grow . I was keeping myself in that spot . So we have to learn how to let go of things , say goodbye , depart , throw away , whatever the case , and it's time that we break free from what broke us . It's time to break free from it . It's time To let go and let God .

And so , amiga's , I'm here to tell you if you are in need of Support or if you need to speak to a counselor , if you've got some things that you really need to work through , then I'm going to encourage you to see someone , a counselor , a professional who's trained in that .

I am not a counselor , I am not a , so I'm not a therapist , I am a life coach . My job here is to help you move to the move to the next step , move to the next level , in order for you to Work through all of that .

You've got to work through the things that are holding you down In order for you to move forward , and I'm going to be that person that's going to help you move forward . I'm going to help you elevate . I'm going to help you level up , no matter what that is , because I want to see you become successful . I want to see you Find your mission .

I want you to find your vision .

I want you to be able to grow and shine , and that is the gift that I want to be able to give you is that gift of Providing you the tools and the resources and the ability to be able to move To that next level , and I'm going to believe that God's going to provide me the tools , the necessary tools , in order to be able to help you .

So , amiga , if you are listening to this message and you feel like somebody could benefit from this message , please share it with them . Subscribe to mommy on a mission podcast on Spotify , apple , wherever it is that you listen to your podcast . But subscribe to it . Don't miss anything . And visit my website , wwwmommyonamissioncom . Go to it .

It's got everything you need . It's got information on the book , it's got the life coaching services , it's got all the podcast episodes on it . It's it's got everything that you need at your fingertips , and it's got all my social media content on there as well , if you prefer to go and reach out to me through social media . I am on Facebook .

I am on Instagram at all . I'm on a mission . I'm on tiktok . Follow me , listen to the episodes , share them . You know , don't hoard them for yourselves . I mean , I know you want to hoard them just for yourself , but I'm gonna encourage you to share the episodes because you just never know who could benefit from the information . So listen , mommy .

Thank you so much for joining me this morning on another episode of Mommy on a Mission . I want you to write down your goals , I want you to think about the thing that you need to let go of and I want you to move forward . See you next Saturday . I hope you've enjoyed this new episode and , if you did , it would mean the world to me .

If you would subscribe , share this podcast and leave me a review on Spotify and Apple Podcast or wherever you listen to your podcast . I'll see you next week for some more words of motivation , inspiration and encouragement on Mommy on a Mission podcast .