You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast.
Mama Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast is recorded on.
Welcome to mommea out loud where women come to debrief.
I am Jesse Stevens, I'm mea Friedman, and I'm m Burnham.
And here's what we're talking about today, Friday, the fourth of July. The trick being used by real estate agents that renters have had enough of.
Plus, you're a bitch and that's why we lack community. We are going to unpack the idea of this small favor economy and an essay that we all read that punch me in the herd a little bit and it could change how you think about loneliness and friendship and what you're doing with your life.
And recommendations. Jesse is busting to tell us about a documentary with significantly less poop than the last one. Mia has just discovered Miss Rachel, and I need to tell you about a thirty dollars beauty product that I should have tried months ago.
Before we start the show, though, I want to call a little meeting to discuss bitch diesel. We spoke about it on the show last week. I can't remember how it came up. I don't think you were even here.
So let's forget who started.
We gave you credit, Okay, you stated give me credit, so to catch people up who might have missed the show. Bitch diesel is what people call just what.
People I can't coin the term. I guess I made a FROs.
You made it famous in our live show. You did a little bit and you'd referred to rose, and men called cool.
People call it bitch diesel.
Okay, So then we started talking about how all these celebrities have their own.
Megan Markle brand new rose coming. I think just this week she dropped it.
Kylie's got a rose. I think Brad Pitt's got a rose.
That all the cool people have a rose, which got us thinking.
Should we have a rose? And we kind of just said, hey, maybe we should. So then we got inundated winemakers, alcohol companies, people saying we would like to make this dream come true and make out loud bitch diesel. Yes, do you think we should do it?
I'm totally on board. I think this is a community assignment. I think what could be fun is that only one of us here has any business have we and I think I'm going to keep forgetting. Yes, I'll bring the vibes and the energy. What are you going to bring them?
I brought the name, so I'm quite interested in the splitting of the.
Profits Bitch Diesel and the tasting and has some questions about IP I think, yeah, I should have had this conversation before we did this.
Clearly true.
So there's all these things to consider. Also whether the word bitch is a problem or are we reclaiming it? Oh?
I love it.
I love it.
Okay, we've reclaimed it.
Let's bring me out loud.
That's going to taste good, So let's out loud. As We're going to venture ahead into this new world of Bitch Diesel and launching our own rose potentially. We will keep you updated with regular installments, and I'm going to teach these bitches how to start a business.
So oh, free learning.
Maybe by the end of it, Jesse, you will be able to pronounce the word entrepreneur.
No, I still can't.
In case you miss it, there is some new lingo in twenty twenty five that I need to talk to you guys about because I'm tired of saying phrases and neither of you two understand what I'm saying.
I thought we did very good fake faces where we act like we're going along with it, but we have no idea what you're talking about.
I like to make this some regular segment because you know, when you become aware that you are not using current lingo, Yeah, like the word lingo for example. So I'm here for this to learn some more some language.
Okay, So in today's lesson, we're going to go over two phrases. And now I don't want you to take because I know what you guys do. You take these phrases and you just run wild with them and you use them all the time until they become uncol and you keep using them.
Like skibbity toilet. I've only guess stoped. We're done.
We're done with skimney toilet. We're done with that.
The first phrase I want to go over is crashing out. Have you heard of this term?
On TikTok they're always talking about crashing out.
Yes, you're close.
So crashing out is the new nervy bee, like a nervous breakdown. So it means when you're about to have some sort of emotional or physical breakdown. It's basically crashing out, not to be So the tense is really important here because you know how sometimes I'll be like, hey, Mia, what did you do when you got home last night? And you're like, oh, I just went to bed and crashed out.
That's different. That means I'm just going to bed. I'm tired.
But if you were to say I went home and I was crashing out or I'm about to crash out, I'm like, oh, burnout. If you don't address this right now, something.
Could go right.
So this is when jen z have a feeling, Okay.
I'm crashing out. I think I've been crashing out for almost twenty years. Is that a thing that could be true?
No, I think that's just burnout.
I think crashing out is like really in the.
Moment, like it's happening right now, and you're running on an empty tank, and if you don't address it right now, then something bad.
All right, So millennials would call this losing your shit, wigging.
Out, I'm having a breakdown.
Yeah, yeah, all that, and some of the language that we use around this not very politically correct, not very sensitive to people with legitimate mental illnesses. So I think crashing out is a way to say it that is sensitive.
Yeah.
And so instead of saying I'm having a mentibe having a nerve bee, we say I'm crashing yeah. H.
You can say about someone else like oh, I feel like you're crashing out right now, and you'll be like, yeah, I feel it.
Okay.
The next phrase I want to go over is locking in.
I've been hearing this one around quite a bit.
Okay.
So locking in means putting extreme focus on a single task and ignoring all other distractions.
Is when gen Z puts their phone down. I feel like gen.
Z ONCEHD takes their meds yes, yes, or is just very interested in something even if you haven't taken your medal.
I was reading about this though, and it's like I locked in and cleaned my room. I was like, no, you just did a job. You just put your phone out and you made a meal, and now in a locked in.
No, it actually works like locked into something I tell myself all the time. If I'm meant to be writing an article, don't tell my boss, ma'am, don't listen. If I'm meant to be writing an article but I'm scrolling my phone, I literally go to myself lock in, bitch.
And then I'll just start writing my article like that.
And you're on your computer and someone comes up to talk to you, I'll be like, she's locked in.
Doesn't matter what tense I use, doesn't matter. I can say locked in, locking.
In, locking in, yeah, lock in, Okay, So now I'm going to lock in and continue the rest of this episode.
Love it.
There's a new kind of selfishness that masquerades as healing. It wears skin care and cancelations like armor. It calls everything a boundary and nothing a bridge. You know, the type. They won't come to your dinner because they're listening to their body, but they'll watch three hours of tiktoks alone and call it self care. They believe they're owed the fruits of community without ever touching the soil. No awkward small talk, no showing up early or staying late, just vibes.
They think putting themselves first is some kind of moral high ground. But what they don't realize is that when everyone chooses themselves, no one chooses each other. And that's how the world ends, not with a bang, but with a thousand unopened invitations. These are the words of a writer called Maser who has a newsletter called Personal Scriptures, and producer Ruth put this into our consideration set to talk about on the show.
Do you think she's trying to tell us that we're a bitch?
Well, the newsletter was called You're a bitch, that's why we lack community.
Yeah, I don't want to get sent back.
It immediately got me and it is the most extraordinary piece about Yeah, this idea of we all complained about community. We all complain that we're lonely, but none of us want to inconvenience ourselves to show up for someone else or help someone else, or do anything that's out of our comfort zone. You know.
We have a lot of.
Talk about boundaries. And after I read that, there were two other things that I saw this week which sort of I want to unpack all of them together. One was a TikTok about the small favor economy, which also relates to this idea of community.
Listen, I think it's okay to ask your friends for ride to the airport, even lax, even at rush hour. And actually it's more than okay. It's radical because there's this thing called the small favors economy and the idea is essentially that in the past, people used to rely on their community, their network, their neighbors for small favors, things like rides to the airport, things like a cup of sugar, things like borrowing a dress for an event.
But now with late stage capitalism, those things all seem like rude for us to ask, because we could just do them ourselves, Like we could just call an uber instead of inconveniencing a friend, or we could order a dress on Amazon and have it get there tomorrow, or we could like post made our groceries instead of like
asking around if anyone has anything. And that's actually really bad because it drives us further into isolation from each other and from our friends, which is good for literally no one except for the people who are trying to sell us stuff on our phones.
It's a little bit longer, but that's just the crux of it. That's a digital strategist and content cretic called Amelia Montooth. And then I read this story in The Atlantic about how a wedding is a real test of how many people will help you and how big events in life, whether it's you know, a breakup or funeral law or a wedding. You then really see people will offer help, and it's a really good idea to accept that help.
So the TikTok In particular, what she's talking about is a studied psychological phenomenon called the Ben Franklin effect. The Ben Franklin effect is the idea that people like you more when they do you a favor. So it's like a psychological trick.
Right.
I walk into work and I say, am, I am running so late. I've got this segment that I meant to prepare for. Can you just write me a few notes? They wonder if it's because of cognitive dissonance, which is, if you're sitting at your desk doing my notes for me, then you're thinking, I must really like Jesse, Like, if I'm doing this, I must really like her.
Can I say I must really like Jesse while also saying God, this lazy bitch.
Well, that's the thing is, I think we all assume that people are going to resent us because we've asked them to do a favor.
Surely, resentment kicks in after a certain.
Pouse, exactly after a certain inflection point, but generally speaking.
That inflection point's called married.
We really enjoy doing favors for each other. People really enjoy it. They like feeling helpful. There's also something called reciprocity of liking is what the phenomenon's called. And basically, if mea thinks I like her, then she's more likely to like me. And when you ask someone for a favor, often it suggests that they like you.
So it's an intimacy.
It's a real level of trust.
It is. And what I thought was amazing about both the essay by Maser and this TikTok by Amelia was this idea of how capitalism is robbing us of this, how we've commoditized community air Tasker to Uber, to Amazon, to all of these enormous corporations, and so we've stopped asking each other for favors, and we've stopped offering to do things for other people. Yeah, even making a meal. We now can just go and buy something.
I wonder if the essay is less about capitalism but more about just how society has changed in the way where at a point we used to be embarrassed for having to cancel plans or not want to go out and not want to see people, and now it's just so common to accept an excuse like, Hey, I'm actually feeling really really tired, do you mind if I just stay home today? Like people are just being so so honest to why they don't want to go out.
But don't you think that that has been I'm going to say selfishness in air quotes. But this idea of putting yourself first always has become this moral high ground, as if by putting myself first, I'm actually doing something really great.
As a person.
If you're going to do that exactly what you said before me, and when you do it over and over again, because it's good to put yourself first, but that means you're putting someone else last, and it's usually the person that you're either canceling on or you said you're going to make plans with and you don't want to see anymore.
I feel like everyone will have a person in their life who they used to be friends with, and then the same person will just cancel and cancel and cancel, and you might keep inviting them out again, but you're less likely to coming to the wedding example, you're less likely to lean on them for help because you're so scared that they're going to cancel on you and not show up, you're less likely to If you have an extra ticket to an event, you're less likely to invite
them because it's also that same fear of constant rejection you're getting from a person. And I think it also comes down to when you are canceling plans and like the essays said, you will cancel and you'll stay at home and either doom scroll TikTok, or you'll just watch the TV show and repeat. If you are still living with other people, like if you live with a partner, or you have pets, or you have kids, or you have housemates, you're still inadvertently getting that sense of community.
The person who's not getting that sense of the community is a person who lives alone that you could have canceled on. And this is something that I've had to go over and over in my head because I do live alone. Around twenty eight percent of the Australian population lives alone, and it's more common for people who live alone to have depression. That for me, whenever I cancel plans because I want to be alone at home, it's a signal for me that I'm going into that depressive state,
especially if I repeat it over and over again. And whenever someone cancel plans on me constantly to hang out by themselves at home, even though they might be with other people that they live with, they don't realize that I don't have that sense of community, and I actually need to physically keep going to achieve that and find that.
That's so true because we're also not very good at knowing or predicting what will make us happy. So I've talked before. I remember we did a no Filter probably two years ago now Maya, where I spoke about depression and how the nature of depression is that you feel pulled towards doing things that are going to make you more unhappy. And people in my family who who the truth depression for a long time say the trick is
doing the opposite of what you feel like doing. So if you feel like laying in bed all day, get up. If you don't feel like eating, eat that sort of thing. And so when we sit at home and we think I really don't want to go out, I think I'm gonna put myself first or whatever that language is, then often that's just going to lead to us feeling worse. And I don't think that any of this is because you're a bitch. That's the one thing that I kind of took issue. I know that it's a really great headliner.
I don't think anyone is a bitch. Well, I do. I could probably name a few bitches, but not generally. I just think we live in a culture that privileges self reliance and independence, and any studies that are done on cultures that have more of a collectivist approach and understand themselves to be part of a whole, they approach it really differently. They do feel more comfortable asking for favors, and there's often greater satisfaction and happiness because we don't feel so isolated.
I have never had a plan that I didn't want to cancel. I've never had a holiday that I didn't want to cancel or come home early from like almost never.
And I wonder if it's a symptom. Particularly lately, I've found myself more and more shut in, and I wonder if there's it's probably no coincidence that the world feels very scary at the moment, both from a big picture sort of geopolitical sense and wars and what's going on in Gaza and Israel and Iran and everything, and just also there's the general situation around America and Trump and
the way he's turned the world into chaos. But also closer to home, I've experienced some sort of a lot of scrutiny and attention lately, and sometimes everything feels quite unsafe, so I want to just stay home. It's like my body goes into fight or flight and it's like it's not safe out there. Just stay home, just stay contained in a small space. But when I do push myself to go out, I always I am so glad that I did.
And the question is what you then do when you are at home alone, is pick up the phone and look at things that are going to reinforce the sense.
It's not like I sit home and meditate or look at the garden, or read a book or enrich myself. You're right, I end up doom scrolling and perpetuating. Well, I do perpetuate this fight or flight response.
Do you think as well that we're addicted, quite literally addicted to convenience. So what we were saying before about you don't have milk, I'll jump onto an app. You can get it in fifteen minutes. This is if you live in cities there's a lot of listeners who don't have that. But even like addicted to the control of knowing what the weather's going to be tomorrow, all that kind of stuff.
Our muscle for dealing with inconvenience or discomfort or delayed gratification. So we is so flabby.
So I have someone who's very close to being and I will say, hey, I want to go visit this friend over the weekend, and this person will go, oh, abo's thirty minutes in the car. That's inconvenient. And I keep saying relationships are inconvenience.
That's all out.
They are incredibly inconvenient. And a relationship built just on mutual convenience isn't really a relationship with any depth. There was a great line in that article that was as if connection isn't made of small, tiring and glamorous acts, And that's so true. It's like you've got yourself out.
Inconvenience is the tax that you pay for community and relationship, right, whether it's friendship or whatever. If you're never ever doing something that makes you uncomfortable or inconvenienced, you may as well just live in solitary confinement.
Surely, it's also.
Like really sad that it always comes with an element of surprise when someone does want to do something for you, like yeah, with weddings and funerals, like you're always so shocked, like I can't believe she sent so many flowers. I can't believe she just took over the booklet and the planning and everything, when sometimes I'm just like, that should be a given.
Do you know that the people in your life should be doing research around this? People dramatically underestimate others' willingness to help exactly what you say, by as much as fifty percent.
That seems like a lot.
Yeah, And we always overestimate how inconvenient a requests will be. Fathers.
I have a friend who just had a baby, and she had a commitment that she had to do, and she messaged me and said, is there any way they'd come around and just hold the baby for an hour? I was so excited because I was so desperate to help her, and I'd been doing the thing you're not meant to do, which is how can I help? Because I didn't know. I know sometimes you can put your foot in it, but I was like, I'm actually desperate to do that for you, and I will feel closer to you at the end of Yeah.
Yeah, what's hard though. Also, I know we talk a lot about askers and guesses when you factor that in and askers and guesses, and asker is someone who asks for what they want, and a guesser is someone who wants you to guess what they want. And sometimes that can be challenging because it doesn't occur to a guesser to ask what someone else would want, and it doesn't occur to an asker to have to guess.
Yeah, they're walking around going, well, what do you want from me?
So that's why you've got an one pretty well. Like Jesse, I know that you're a guesser, so I don't ask you what you want. This could come across as an imposition I just do things.
Send me links to what Luna for her bathday?
You make yourself a guesser because you know, Jessie.
No, I just I don't wait to be asked that. I don't wait to be asked because I think that you can kid yourself and go, oh, they haven't asked, therefore they don't need anything.
Yeah, And I.
Also think love languages come into this as well, like, for example, I have a friend who was really sick and she was in hospital, and my love language is gifting, Like, I think the best thing I could do is sent her flowers, And then I remember that her love language is acts of service, So for her, she's probably like, just help.
Me go to the bathroom. I don't know what to.
Deal with your shitty flower. Then my question is, what's the difference between paying someone to go and clean your house or paying for a meal to be delivered versus making the meal yourself, or going over and stacking her dish washer and vacuuming her house yourself. How would you feel differently if Sam I sent over a voucher for a meal or got something delivered that I hadn't made, or I made something myself. The end of the day you're eating both ways, would you feel differently?
I would feel differently, which is kind of shitty because I think it's like kind of this, you're doing the same thing essentially. But I also think it comes down when in your head you're seeing how much time that person put into it. We're dinner voucher such a beautiful gift, But at the same time, if you had made something and given it to me, I'm like, she went up and bought the grocery, she spent time in the kitchen, she spent time driving to my house to give it
to me. If you're at my house, you might also help me clean and serve me. Like it's the extra little things I feel like in your head makes it feel like it's more, And it kind of is more if you think about it.
It's back to that inconvenience, right, It's the inconvenience that says to someone you matter.
It's also existing in a productivity kind of centered society and also an outcome centered society where it's like whatever the outcome or the results or the thing that sits on the table, it's like, we don't even want to think about kind of I've had this argument with a friend too about whether it's the thought that counts, and I'm like, I actually think all of the thought and all of the effort does count for a lot, But
sometimes I don't think it's seen that way. Recently, there was someone in our community who was sick and they cooked all day and went and dropped off food, and I was like, what, Like it didn't even occur. I would do the dinner ladies about her. That's what I do mostly because I can't cook, and I wouldn't put that off it.
Maybe you could write them some You could write poem. You could write a poem because cooking is not something that you're good at, the same with me, like I would not burden someone by cooking.
So the conclusion is, write more poems out louders in a moment. Have you ever turned up to an open house or inspection and it looks nothing like the photos? You're not imagining it. We unpack the trick being used to lure renters, and we've got recommendations coming up. You're scrolling through potential properties, either to rent or to buy right and you look at just a stunning property. We're talking stunning light. That living room looks very spacious, the carpet so soft.
So I can't afford it.
No, you definitely can't to it. Goodness, both bedrooms fit a double bed. Can you even imagine luxury? There's even a fireplace. Look, it's burning in the corner fireplace.
It's on the bottom.
Can you even believe it?
There's a fire peer that's crazy.
Where's it going?
No one asked questions. I'm going to register for an inspection. But then you get there, there's only one window and it looks like something out of a jail cell. Oh no, you can touch both walls while standing in the center of sor then the carpet is actually a rug and that belongs to the owners and they'll be taking it back. That second bedroom it might only fit a kid's single trundle bed, and the fireplace is actually a hole in the wall left by the previous tenant.
It had a very raging note what happened.
What happened is AI Like, if you have a sense that you're being personally victimized by the marketing of real estate agents, you are not imagining it. I have personally been to that inspection where I go, this is simply not what I saw online. I'm being you know what I'm being I'm being gasolate lit. I'm being gas lit by real estate agents, by the fake fire and there are currently calls for an Australian wide crackdown on real
estate ads that use AI. So the New South Wales state government has cited examples of real estate agents using AI generated furniture that showed a double bed in a room that could literally only fit a single bed and modifying photos to obscure property damage. It is not that unusual for them to put a fire like an actual like lip fire in a fireplace that either doesn't work like isn't functional, and it's just literally like an AI generated image stuck in there. And for a long time
they've been allowed to do that. Is anyone else finding themselves increasingly tricked by AI? I thought I was savvy, and I no longer feel savvy.
This really surprised me to hear, because of course, now that you say it, I can see it. But about fifteen years ago, I was the chair of the then federal government's National Body Image Advisory Board, and we were tasked by the government at looking at a whole lot of things that we could do, guidelines and initiatives for the fashion industry, the advertising industry, the media industry that
would improve body image. And one of the things that we proposed was that there be mandatory declaration when images had been photo shopped, because you know, back in the day, now it's of course pandemic, but magazine covers and magazine images and advertising images had always been retouched. You didn't
have to declare it. And at the time it was compared to someone made the point that with real estate images, if you show like a view of Bondai Beach and there's not an actual view, but it just is in you used to have to have a discrimus saying not actual view. Really Yeah, so there was that was really strict around truth in advertising. The reason I brought that up is that we made the point that it was absurd that you could have a picture of a human
but you didn't have to say not actual human. It was created essentially by photoshop, which is a version of AI. So I'm so surprised that all of those things have I think probably industries just haven't caught up with technology, haven't caught up with AI.
You're talking about. It sounds so archaic that you would have to declare because now I imagery is totally ubiquitous. You'll see aiimage that's allegedly from a war zone, or an AI image of Donald Trump doing something he simply did not do, like that's everywhere. And what that does to the human race when you can't look at an image and trust it is something I don't like to think about too much.
I wonder if it's also because especially with rents. We are in a rental crisis right now. People are desperate to find somewhere to live. And I wonder if it's just real estate going well, people will come no matter what. So what's the point of doing all this extra legwork when we just know there'll be hordes of lines for people to see this place?
Well, the argument is that what you're essentially doing is like you're really wasting people's time. So if someone is in and I've been in this position between rental properties where I've been kicked out of A and I need to move into B, there's only so many properties I can visit. And I was the person who I was in a room clearing my sister and her boyfriend were in a room. Did two rooms that could have humans in them?
Right?
And so you'd go and say this place is unlivable.
For two bed yas, you've wasted our time.
Yeah, you've wasted our time when I could have gone and seen this property that actually offers me somewhat what I want. So I think that that's the crackdown too, is just going You can't do that to people. It's incredibly manipulative.
Have you been tricked by.
AO Okay, look, I wasn't gonna bring this up, but this only happened a few weeks ago, which makes me even more shameful.
I was on.
TikTok and I was watching this video and it was one of those like mini documentary videos about this really rare fish that these fishermen found, and it was like this huge, huge I think it was like a five minute video. Entire video was generated by AI. I sat there and watched it for five minutes.
Did it have when you looked in the captions? Did it have an AI hashtage? That happened to me? I watched a funny video last night and it was like this woman getting sort of eaten by her couch and this thing, and I was like, this is amazing, and I showed my kids and they're like, d No, I don't think it is.
I think I Cash really did eat her.
Yeah.
One of the girls in our office is some pointing around the spot. She went to get a really drastic haircut, like one of those like long hair to a bob. She went to a hair dress and she's like, I want something like this, and he was like, babe, that's not a real person.
Hair doesn't flow much hairdressers.
This is a real problem for hairdressers. People are rocking up, not just with shots of celebrities that look nothing like them. And Holly won't mind me telling the story of her, and I think me who went with photos of l Lara Bingle as she was then said we just want to look like this or Gwyneth Paltrow and sliding doors. I just want this pixie cut. And I mean, that's one thing, but now people are showing hair that doesn't exist and saying I want that hair.
After the break, we have some recommendations for you, including something to watch, a new discovery, and something smelly for your body.
Every Tuesday and Thursday we drop new segments of Mummy Are Out Loud just for Mummy A subscribers. Follow the link in the show notes to get your daily Joseph out Loud and a big thank you to all our current subscribers.
Vibes ideas atmosphere, something casual, something fun.
This is my best recommendation.
Okay, it is Friday and we want to help you set up your weekend with our very best recommendations.
Mia, do you want to get first?
I have been plummeted back into the world of children's entertainers and videos. Now that Luna is almost two and she's allowed a little bit of screen time, we're having a little bit of screen time. So I am back in the Wiggles. Gosh, the wiggles have changed.
Yeah, there's so many of them now.
There's one of the yes, one of them is very buff. One of them is a magical tree that dances like he's in a rave and I'm obsessed with him.
I bet you don't know that he's married to Dorothy.
I've forgotten how much you love a bit of wiggles, got them to gossip about. And Anthony, the blue Wiggle of the he's still there. Queen Adam's daughter, Lucia, his daughter. She the ballerina Neppo wiggle. Yes, yeah, she's also blue. She's also the blue Wiggle. Well she has to actually beautiful. It's a lovely thing anyway. Something that I've just learned about a children's entertainer called Miss Rachel. She has a YouTube channel. If you've got little kids, I'm sure you'll
have heard of Miss Rachel. But I learned about Miss Rachel because I was listening to Jesse and Amelia talk about her on parenting out loud last week. She's got like fifteen million subscribers on YouTube, where there's about one hundred and twenty free videos. Fifteen million subscribers.
They believe that she's the biggest children's entertainer in the world.
Oh, and she just records they're very low fight. She records these videos in front of green screen in her laundroom. I think she started Jesse because her son had speech delay, and so she was making these videos. They're lovely because one of the things, and one of the reasons that you're not meant to have little kids watching screens too much is the fast cuts. The way TV's made now. It's very fast, a lot of movement, and it's hugely stimulating and it can be hard for them to process.
This is very slow, So it's.
For babies and photography.
She sounds things out, which is really good for speech. And have you ever heard of miss Rachel.
I've heard this name everywhere.
Do you know her face?
No, have a little listen.
Hi, Frabs, I'm so excited to learn about zoo animals and chuckle animals with you today.
It's going to be so much fun. Can you do this rhyme with me a tweet aor and oh whoa, whoa, who's in the zoo planing big girl. What's interesting about this story and why you were talking about it, is that lately she's become the target of a lot of pretty outrageous criticism for her advocacy of the children in Gaza, and she's also spoken about her concern for the children in Israel. But some people have said that she's been being paid by Hamas and some pretty wild accusations.
So she's had to turn off all comments on Instagram and YouTube because of the hate that she was getting, and she came out and just basically said, no child should have their crucial brain development interrupted by trauma. That's
what I believe. We had this really interesting discussion about what it is about children's entertainers because of the intimacy having them in your home, you know, often late at night, the middle of the night, like people feel this kind of ownership over her, like a a real parasocial relationship.
But is it also Jesse. I haven't watched too many for videos, but it was it that people were objecting to her talking about the plight of children in Gaza to children.
No, that's what's interesting is over on Instagram where she's got all these followers, that's where she will post and she'll say, I, you know, want to look after these children.
Off and she's raising money because that's where the parents are.
Because that's where the parents are. Whereas on YouTube, which is a totally different platform, she's going brushy teeth, can you say, mama? Like? They're the kind of things that she's doing. But it highlights to me, I think it's such an interesting story. Is it highlights the different especially in this crisis, about what someone says and what people
here are like. So she can say I really care about the well being of children, and it might be perceived by some in the community as being anti Semitic because of where they are and what, you know, who they see. Miss Rachel is standing alongside and it's just
this big, mucky mess. The New York Times has done a brilliant profile on it, this whole story, which will link to it in our show notes, because it's really interesting and if you're a parent of a kid under about five, you have heard Miss Rachel's voice.
Jesse, what do you have today?
I have a documentary which I'm really on the documentary train. Please, there's not a single pooh in this documentary. There's a series on Netflix called American man Hunt. They did one on the Boston bomber and this new one which remember I recommended Titan recently, and a bunch about louders slid into my DMS and said, you have to watch American man Hunt. Osama bin Lighten. You have to watch that is just come out. You'll really enjoy it.
Where war, we will find those who did it and we'll bring them to justice.
Call for Black chief of counter terrorism said, if you'll let me do it, I'll have flies walking on their eyeballs in six weeks.
That's what I'm talking about. I was working with the representative from the FAA trying to.
Track some of the conspirators. We knew this was Masamo bin Laden.
We were going to war full out against inn Lodon.
And the reason why is because so I was born in nineteen ninety when September eleven happened, I would have been eleven, and my whole adolescence the image of bin Laden was like the villain, like he was such a bit. He loomed so large in my kind of childhood adolescence and what this documentary does is it tracks nine to eleven and then the subsequent manhunt by the US Army to try and find him. And I remembered parts of it,
but the details I completely missed. And because they're able to get members of the CIA, this is Barack Obama's speech writer, They're able to get the Navy seal who actually found Bin Laden, like, they're able to interview all of these people in a way that it puts it in the context of history. There is a lot of criticism from a lot of the people in the inside ranks about Guantanamo and some of the lengths they went to to quite literally torture people to try and get intel.
There are a lot of parallels with what's going on at the moment, with the US claiming to have inverted Commas achieved something that they have not achieved, and how politics works in these kind of geopolitical moments. It is fascinating. It is called American Manhunt O. Some have Bin Laden and it is on Netflix.
And what are you recommending?
Okay, I'm putting my body out there for the greater good because I have really.
Bad back me.
Oh, I've had that before.
I think it's one of those things where you stop the pill and then your whole body just goes. I'm a new person.
Have you got front me as well? Or just back me on my chair? I used to get it on my my nipples.
Weird.
It also is really weird when you're dating.
Yeah, yeah, You're like, yeah, you got to undo a button and you're like, never mind.
And because it's like, my back knee is on my back, so I don't really I don't really see it right until I was wearing a backless dress one so my dad saw my backnee and he was like, I do think you should get that checked out? And then I got a checked out and it was just backnee checked Do think it.
Was that bad?
He generally got something was wrong with hey. He was very concerned for my health and well being. So anyway, I've been treating it, even though I can't see it and I feel like anything on your back is none of my business, but I've been treating it. I've been using this little skincare toool from TBH Skincare. They're so good, so good, so affordable. I got this from Priceline for thirty dollars. It's the Breakout Hack Body Spirit and it's basically just like an exfoliant spray that you can spray
on your back on. So and I actually don't need a friend to help you if you live alone, because like you can spray it upside down to the side. You can get your whole back even if you have like acne on your barm.
That's what I was going to say.
A lot of people like it's just like the thighs aren't as difficult to get to as bad.
It's the top of yeah, And I'm like, we need more body skin care because you get like little spots everywhere. And already it's been like I think three weeks now, all my little spots have like lost their redness. I have much less. It's so so good. So if you have a little backning problems like me, it's totally normal. But you can fix it, can I?
Before we go, I just remembered I have a little identical twin fun fact, would you too? Late tonight is.
A creepy one, you know I feel about creature fact about you and it's just interesting, right, you know how on this show six months ago, I've got a skin cancer.
Removed on my hairline, and I've had to go back and get it checked out. The other day, Claire looks at me and goes, look at this, and she's had a skin camper on to the centimeter exactly the same spot on her hairline. And what's interesting is that it's obviously nature and nurture, like the intersection of the two things, but it's clearly like the gene are predisposed.
That's uncanny because because you would think, I mean.
It's environmental.
If you were to get would they say that your chance of skin cancer is very much determined by your son exposure when you're younger, So I guess you would have been exposed to the same things, but you don't have the same hair. No, you don't even have the same texture of hair exactly.
So she's got really creep.
Has she gone and got that checked out?
She's about to she's about to and it looks exactly the same as mine did. And I was like, oh, well, maybe because HER's an earlier stage. I'm like, maybe you won't need to get it chopped out. You could just do the cream or whatever. But it's weird identical.
It's so weird. I'll tell you, you'll be concerned.
That's all we have time for today. A big thank you to all of you the out louderst for listening to today's show. We will be back in your ears next week.
Big thank you to our team, our group executive producer Root Divine, our executive producer Emmeline Gazillis.
Our audio producer Leah Porges, our video producer Josh Green, our junior content produces Coco and Tessa. Out Louders, take care of yourself and others this weekend. Don't be a bitch, don't convenience yourself.
Bye Aye, out Louders. If you're not ready to say goodbye, then you can listen to yesterday's subscriber episode. It's a chat that Amelia m and I had.
Well.
We unpacked some family drama dilemmas. We've all been there in one way or another. Follow the link in the show notes to listen.
Shout out to any Mum and Maya subscribers listening. If you love the show and want to support us as well, subscribing to Mother and Maya is the very best way to do so. There is a link in the episode description