What We Did Before 9am

You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast.

Hello, and welcome to MoMA Mia out loud.

I was just noticed that it's Friday the thirteenth. I was all like, very woot about everything and very upbeat, and now I'm like, oh, how is it the thirteenth on a Friday.

We don't like that.

It was Friday the thirteenth last month too.

Something's happening.

This is a haunted year. Yeah, we will.

Endeavor to keep the demons at bay. On today's show. My name is Holly wayIn Wright. My name is EMM Vernon.

In the script it says my name's Esse Stephens, but I'm.

Not hopefully out louders already today you have heard our Jesse Stephens because we're dropping this on a Friday, as we always do. But you also already got a little trere, which was Jesse Stephens's story all about the birth of her twins. So if you haven't listened to that and you're interested, please do. If you're not interested, that's fine.

That's absolutely.

It was more for her.

She wanted to yell to share some stuff went down, and the out louders need to know.

Good point anyway, here on our twin free show, except not because Claire's with us. Anyway. Here's what's made our agenda for today good news.

For the emotional girlies like myself.

We no longer need to listen to the boy bosses of the world because it actually is okay to cry at work?

Oh is it?

And how do you implement an opening shift in your morning routine to just make your day a bit more organized and calmer.

Recommendations are going to include a TV show that everyone is telling me to watch and now including I am. Yes, Claire has an excellent.

Book and I might just have the perfect background watch.

For Saturday morning cleaning. You know how you got to do chores on Saturday mornings, do you?

Yeah? Some of us do. Some of us do.

I love having the TV on and then folding washing, but I'm really watching the TV.

I've got you, I've got you with my reco today. But first look, it's the Oscars on Monday. We're going to do a special little Oscar segment on the Monday Show on Monday afternoon. But if you want to sound like you know what you're talking about over the weekend when you're hanging out with people, we have some very stupid predictions for you about what's going to happen. Yeah, and you can take them on you cannot. You can hold them against us on Monday afternoon.

It's fine. We don't care. First one that I.

Predict everyone at the Oscars party will be dressed really boring.

You know, there's no color anymore. Everyone's just wearing.

Black, beige, whatever until the Vanity Fair party, Yes, when everyone will be naked.

So annoying. I wish they dressed like that for the actual Oscars.

I do think naked is encroaching on formal events. I think that they I think we could have some nudity I hope.

So.

Yeah, it makes things more interesting, especially if it's the guys the Grammys and Justin Bieber's just performing in his Yeah, maybe we could see that from Challa mate. Maybe he just tries to claw back his reputation by turning up on the red carpet in orange boxes. Yeah and a bow tie.

We already saw his bottom in his movie we did.

Everyone will be very very thin. We already know that, right. We are in the era of the skinny skinniness, so we'll be like naked and skinny. I predict that Kylie won't walk with Timothy because the vibes are bad. Now, I think she's not going to do that.

You know what one of my Kylie predictions is is that because the F one movie is also nominated, Lewis Hamilton's going to come with Kim Kardashian to the Vanity Fair party for sure. For sure with his plus one Kim Kardashian and the sisters will have to sit next to each other.

Okay, my question about Lewis Hamilton will he be like? Is he associated?

He's a producer on that film that and that film is one of the best Oscar nominations because you know, now they have a longer list so that they can pretend that they're being inclusive to movies that people actually want to go and watch. And he did pretty well in Ferrari last week, so feeling good about himself. You might be right about that, could be doing that.

I really like that. I do like when my celebrities pop up where I least expect them, really enjoy that.

I predict we'll be excessively excited about our two Australian nominations, which are for mister or Lordie.

I predict he will be tall.

Yes, I think he'll be tall and sexy.

Probably go with his mom because that's his vibe. Very Leo.

So even though he's bloody dating that girl supermodel, Yeah, who's got naughty parents?

Anyway, her fault.

She want a university college admission scan.

No, I remember that. Yes, she was one of the colins and he's dating her.

She's really pretty.

Maybe he'll get a new haircut like Margo, because Margo has like signaled Wuthering Heights is done with a bob.

She chopped it out, chopped off. Jacob might shave his head. We're going to get to shave.

Roseburn obviously is also nominated. She's not going to win. No offense. Burn, I think you're second in line. It's probability, but I hope there's no lizard convention happening. I husband, when she won, was off buying a bearded dragon or something.

Some reptils shouldn't be a pet.

Yeah, I definitely shouldn't. He might have been eaten by it. He definitely won't be there. That may serve him right.

Conan O'Brien is hosting. I predict he'll be funny, but no one there as funny as Nicki Glazer at.

The Golden Globe.

No, because Nikki crosses the line and that's what I want. I hope Conan O'Brien makes some current jokes, some ballet jokes made, some ballet jokes.

I reckon, we might get ballet jokes, but I reckon, we won't get politics. I think we won't get politics. And I also think they're going to be like super happy on the censor button after everything that's happened recently. With that, it'll be like giving Kyle and Jackiel a run for their money on the like, can't say that, can say that?

What do you mean? I say, very true, lots of that.

Yeah, yeah, I reckon so my predictions, And I will caveat this by saying I'm going off vibes only because I've only seen a handful of the movie. I'm only going off vibes. One battle after another is gonna win Best Picture. But that pisses me off because I've already seen that movie. I haven't seen that movie, but I've seen that movie.

What you mean, Yes, you're like, that's a movie the type of which I have already seen.

Paul Thomas Anderson.

Correct, and even the titles boring. It's like one battle after another, like.

You know what I mean, Like it is true, like you have a battle and then there will be another one.

I guess I just like Sinners needs that like originality, it trumps it every single time. I do think Timmy won't win Best Act out he needs a bit of Leo where you've just got to be patient, mate, Lea, Like he's gonna.

Sit there Leo again.

See what are the people I always feel sorry for is when you're in the awards circuit but you're definitely not gonna win. So for example, Emma Stone is nominated this year, it's not her year. No one's even pretending it's her year. She's already won it, so that's fine, but like.

She still has to go. She does put the dress on, but no one thinks, not even one person, not even pull the dead octopus thinks.

Not even no.

So it's like and that Leah must be feeling a bit like that because he's not gonna win, and he hasn't been attending some of them. But no, I think Michael B. Jordan is going to win Best Actor.

Can I tell you that I asked the Maths people at one of those proper Hollywood people things said Michael B. Jordan by a whisker they put apparently they like crunched all the numbers, blah blah, mats blah blah.

Michael B.

Jordan's thirty three point two and Timothy thirty one point three, so he's just gonna pip him.

Well. My unpopular opinion is that he actually should have been nominated twice because he played twins and.

He would know very well.

Twins are different people. They are.

They are.

Like two different people. One was hot, yeah, one with.

Dimples, the other one didn't have dimples.

If they had done that nominated him twice, it's like Michael B. Jordan, that's for rolling Michael. Fair advantage, but also maybe fair fantasy. My I have a next year prediction, So I don't think Timothy will win this year. He was nominated last year as well. He's becoming and it's.

Sad but it's fine.

But I do think Kylie Jenner will win next year for Best Supporting Actress in Charlie XCX's mockumentary The Moment. Yes, I have, because I saw a clip of that yesterday in which Kylie Jenner was.

Ex I've heard he's really good.

But she's better than Anyone's.

A good movie. It's really good. I really enjoyed it. It's been fifty to fifty some of to Wuthering Heights. People either love it or hate it. Alexander scars Guard in it. It's really good.

But Kylie er steals a show.

I'd watch him do anything.

I want to see the rupture between Timothy and Kylie.

By Timothy so great.

My last is K Pop Demon Hunters, right, yeah, so they're going to win the Best Animated Feature. But they also perfer which I just love wow because they're cartoons but also a real band. So it really confuses people, particularly the old people in the crowd are just like, I don't understand. And speaking of Leo, what's funny to me as a gen xer is when you see him in awards shows now he looks more and more like Jack Nicholson did at award shows when I was young.

Like cool young guy to sad old guy. He doesn't know what front he was there the Golden gloves.

He was like the K pop people, I don't get it anyway.

They will also make sure that no demons infiltrate the event, which is gonna be handy.

We've all had a cry at work, so whether it's in the bathroom, in the car park, on the train home, that the part of the corner in the office that no one really goes to a cause a crying corner. However, there's been a general consensus that're crying at work publicly in front of your manager or colleagues is unprofessional until now. Robert Half conducted a survey about crying in the workplace Very Important work, and they surveyed more than two thousand

I love the exactly because because they're like just an f.

Really emotional. You can't cry at work. And then I started working at Mama Maya.

And you're like, hmm, mixed messages.

A lot is going on.

I actually have a story, Klus Stevenson.

Did What did I do when you were.

Editor in chief and Mom Maya and I was a social media producer. It was I totally remember what the meeting is, but it was some sort of formal check in because we didn't have regular check in, so it was a formal check in. And I was like, I'm going to own this meeting. I'm going to talk about all this stuff. I did everything I've done. I'm so

Could feel the tears well up because it was the first.

Time I had to talk about some of the achievements I made at work, and I don't know why. And then the streams just started happening, and you were crying, even though you were like saying good things about I was crying saying good things about myself, ignoring the tears, and then eventually it was just sobbing, and I was like, I'm so sorry, I don't know what's happening. I never cry at work, and you were just looking at your

I want to know from you, because that was one of the things a manager is how to react when people cry. How did you? How did you get to a place where you were comfory enough to just let them sit there sobbing.

I struggle with that because I am not a touchy feely person. I'm not an overly sentimental person. So sometimes I'd be like should I hug this person? And then I'd think that's inauthentic, and they're going to know it's inauthentic, and it's going to be clunky and clumsy, and I don't want to be hugged when I'm crying I having the meeting that I really needed exactly, And I knew that the reason I cried at work would always be when I had these big feelings, and they might be

So I was going to ask, is how you want to be treated when you cry? Because there are different reasons, Right if EMM was crying because she was upset about something at.

Work, would your reaction be different or do you just generally let's all agree, I can't see your tears, I can't see your shaking shoulders, and I'm just going to pretend like nothing's happening. Is that what you're advocating?

It probably also makes it weird that as a journalist, writer, interviewer, you interview people who cry, and it's you're not meant to. If you stopped the interview every time people cried and gave them a cuddle, that's not very good interview technique. I don't think.

Well, no, the idea is to let them cry because a they need to get through that to get to the next bit, and also because it's quite good content sometimes. But at the same time, I think it's situation dependent because if someone's genuinely very upset, then you need to comfort them. You need to be a human being and comfort them.

But do you have to hug them?

But if you know that some people are just criers, I think that's one of the skills in being a manager is you can't actually treat everybody the same. Like if somebody cried in your office who you knew was not a crier and you knew something must be wrong, then you would like inquire.

See M wasn't a crier. But I think I could relate. Yeah, I was like, yeah, same. I cried when my leave didn't get approved and I just got very overwhelmed because I was like, but I wanted to go to Hawaii.

Those are the worst. Those are the worst ones as a manager to deal with this. If you're just saying no, you can't have leave then because everyone's having leave then and someone starts crying. For God's sake, sorry, welcome to being a grown up in the world. And I would rather die than let people see me cry. I'm that person because I'm stoic and I'm old. But I have done it, of course. Am oh, yeah, I definitely have

They give you some good advice, right, So, pinch between your four finger and thumb, that's a really good one. Drink a glass of really cold water because that cool things down. Like you know how when you feel you're going to cry, a whole body goes hot and you start getting I hate that feeling.

So if you've got water around and you can swallow and like or just throw the water at anything, but cry, Just like what was I doing?

Have I slipped.

I gotta go to the loop, create a distraction, look like a labor and then you write not cry clays crying over there, and I'm like, what, I'm fine, Exit.

Then anywhere, go anywhere where the crying closet needs to throw the people out of the crying closet, go in there, shut the door, lean against the door to sob because then if people come to see if you're all right, that's the worst, because you know how if you're crying and people go you're right and give you a hug, you just cry off.

And then it should just be agreed upon that no one references it ever, like we do not talk about it.

It's done.

But all of this assumes, strangely, and again it must be a British thing that there's a gap between you feeling the emotion and you expressing that emotion. There is no gap for me. There's no time to get to the closet.

You have to run, Yeah, there's no time.

I'm just I'm crying before I even know that I'm crying.

Do you think if you cry in front of somebody, do you expect them to like, what do you expect them to do?

Literally? Ignore it?

Yeah, I wouldn't want I mean, of course, it depends what you're crying about. I cried one time I got really sad news at work, and I cried, but I had enough time where the tears had started. Then I went for a walk. But if you're crying because of like anger assertiveness, I've got big feelings. I don't know what to do with them. Then no, I don't want to be comforted. I want to maybe be left alone. No, no, because I want to argue.

With someone who's crying. Though.

The other tip I got that is really stupid is if you tilt your head back, the tears can't actually fall.

Oh you tilt forward, so then they drop on the ground so it doesn't ruin your mind. Yeah, if you tilt your head back, then you can just be like, yeah, I can imagine just looking at you in a meeting room, going is she have any exorcism?

Water?

Some really really weird. But I remember one time I was meant to be disciplining someone for something. But the reason I cry often is when I'm trying to be assertive and direct because I just don't think I have the skills to do that. I think I've gotten a little bit better, but I find it really really hard. So I was trying to be assertive and say, like, you did this thing. It's okay, but you did this thing. And then they yelled at me, and then I cried.

That's something as a boss.

If you make somebody cry, you feel awful because and you never mean to make someone cry. But if you've got to impart bad news like you know, you did do this thing wrong, or you know, or more serious news than that, you know, you're letting them go whatever, which have done all of those things. If they start crying, then it's immediately you made me cry, And that's a

Pass them tissues and throw water in their face. Throw water in their face, created destruction. That would have been great, I would have been. Can you imagine hr out there? She threw water at me and told me to tell my head back, and then she started pinching my.

Finger out louders in a moment. How you can completely revamp your morning routine with an Opening Shift.

Hi out Louders, It's mea, and there are some cracking out loud subscribe episodes for you this week. On Tuesday's episode, I did a bit of a diary note because I had a lot of feelings and I had to put them somewhere, so I put them into a microphone in the tiniest studio that I could find. It's just me on a microphone, giving you a bit of insight into

There's a new trend on TikTok encouraging people to apply the concept of an opening shift to their mornings for a calmer, more organized day.

Now.

I've worked many a job in my time, and I've done many different kinds of opening and closing shifts. So I worked at Boosjuice. It was very important to do all the prep, Yeah, to cut all the fruit and stock up the juices and fill up the ice, like get everything ready so that you didn't then panic when you had one customer. I also worked at the video shop and you'd process the return.

What a good job?

Who It was a vibe A job doesn't exist anymore, I know. And it was like you'd rotate the stock and you'd like put a movie on. It was so good. And then at a bar or restaurant that I worked out, you'd fold the napkins and polish the cutlery, all of that. So an opening shift morning routine can be anything from making your bed because you're just you're thinking ahead. You're just planning the day meal, prepping your lunch, stretching, journaling a sunrise walk. I know, this is all very holy.

Okay, here we go. Alarm goes off at six thirty am.

That's so ambitious.

I get out of bed at seven forty five, which is improvement to my eight p fifteen.

What are we doing between six thirty and seven? Can we going back to sleep?

No?

I'm just kind of like because if I go back to sleep, then it affects my quartersole levels, so I can't do you know that as a fact.

No, I've been told that Hub themIn Bro guy, I believe that. So I just kind of stay.

Awake, like, roll around, look at my ceiling, scroll on Instagram, and then I get out of bed at seven forty five. Immediately make my bed because I've been told that's how you're meant to start your day. I then shower, if it's a shower day. Every second day it is a shower day. Brush my teeth, do my skincare, have my coffee in my kitchen, choose what I'm wearing, then not like it, so then re choose what I'm wearing. Then I chose it.

Now I think it's probably about like.

Eightish, okay, and then I check Slack and look at my email, look for some pictures because I leave those for last minute for the podcast. I make some toast or a smoothie or some scrambled eggs because I'm so luxurious scrambled eggs. I love scrambled eck and then toilet. Spend quite some time nexcause I've had my coffee. Remember, yes, I got affected.

Got affected at the.

Time, and then I leave and walk to work at around eight thirty. I grabbed my second coffee on the way to work, and then I get to work around eight point fifty, which is like my social time, see my friends, and then ten minutes of chitty chat.

Yeah, ten minutes of fun time. That's pretty good.

You squeezed a lot into an hour there, and then I get to work a night. However, I do need to talk about another routine I did this week, because this week I did my mom's morning routine for the first time ever. I stayed with my parents for a week day because I had to drive my car to my parents' house and my dad can take you to the mechanic. She couldn't possibly take no, no, no, no no job.

So I stayed the night on my parents. Okay, five point forty five. I'm up no gym time with my mom.

My.

Mum goes to the gym downstairs in her apartment complex.

We then shower. Cashi showers over, so we had to go through a shower.

Well, she works out every day, Yeah yeah, but like this is interesting for her. She lays her clothes out the night before and I didn't come with anything because I wasn't gonna spend the night. So then she laid also my clothes out the night before. So then what I was wearing on Tuesday is my mom. My mom chose my outfit. Then we go to the Metro, so Dad drops us off at the Metro. Public transport is so busy on a weekday.

Welcome to the world is insane.

So what my mom does is she goes backwards to go forwards. So she's like, we have to take the metro that goes back a stop so we can get a seat and then we get back on again.

So we're sitting down and they we're in the city. We're in the city. My ten to eight am. What am I gonna do?

I'm not gonna go to work an hour before everyone else like a loser. So I'm like, you have to have breakfast for meats, and then we have an hour breakfast and then then might work at the same time. Wow, So why does she go in so early? Then?

I don't know.

I think it's like a mid fifties thing. She loves it so much.

Love it.

I your morning routine. At the moment shift.

Looks, Oh, I'm so tired, So no need for an alarm.

That's lucky todd they tend.

To be they are the alarm. So Matilda has started waking at five quite liably.

Have we.

I know they'd have a lovely time toddler. But the thing about so she wakes up at five every morning, and then the morning that Jesse she went into labor. Then she had a sea section. Jesse messaged me at five saying I'm about to have the C section come in, and Matilda slept in till six, and I'm like, you troll, you are so reliable usually so anyway, I missed it. But Rory and I rotate mornings early mornings because we

A load of washing in the morning. Yeah, you just gotta.

You've just got to stay on top of it. Yeah, otherwise otherwise afternoons and nightmare. Yeah. So then I'm listening to my ABC podcast. Matilda's yelling at me to play Mmma. Around six thirty, I'll have a shower with Matilda, have a conversation while we're in the shower. That's lovely. Then we wake up dadda and there's a whole song. There's a song. We walk into the bedroom singing. So that's about six forty five.

You're this is your first rotation around the bed.

Yeah, before my alarm goes off.

Yeah. Then Matilda helps me pick my clothes, helps me do my hair and makeup, and then was.

Very similar to my mom.

Yeah she's there.

Yeah, she's like morning and I'm like cannee no. And then we go through an a deal because she wants to wear her MMMA dress to daycare and I've had to lie and say it's not allowed in the building. This whole time. By the way, she's walking around with toast in both hands, getting it on all walls and surfaces, and I'm trying to stop that. Everything that should take

Oh my gosh.

And then and then I'm on her way.

To work so emotionally and I'm like, I'm so interested in your turtle child.

How did this? I'm like, oh, how is this?

She's the big and we're like claires. Five minutes later, A yeah.

And I'm like, sorry, guys.

The most one of the most viral stories I ever wrote for Mama Mao was a story called the Things I've Done by nine Am, and I wrote it eleven years ago, right, and it's a list.

So your kids would have been like so then they.

Would have been yeah, so they would have been like three and five, right, And it had things like I have.

Dealt with three people's pooh this morning, I have stripped Wait, who's the other one?

Mee was minimal involvement, was bad, bad strip, two beds and done, two loads of washing, always done, three different breaks wait bed because someone's always weed. Oh no, yeah, Like there's a lot of that, right, So there's a lot of that happening, Three different breakfasts, three different people getting dressed, trying to put your make upon it while you're t to shove some food in your face, two different drop offs.

I remember the mayhem and falling into the office with your coffee. We used to have a nine am meeting them, which we still do now, content meeting and just falling in there like oh yeah.

I totally know what's going on, right.

And it's funny because I'm in such a different season now my mornings look so different, but that was my life for years.

And whenever I.

See moms at MoMA Mia who have just come back from matt leave or they've just come back from their second one.

In particular, the look on the I've lived a day they have lived a day.

By the time they get here, I was listening to Stacey Hicks, who was one of our hosts on Parenting Out Loud, and jeba bath host on True Crame conversations in the kitchen this morning, and it sounded exactly like what Claire was just disgusting. It was just like and then she wouldn't put her shoes on, and then she's decided that toast is the devil. And it just like it takes me all back because my days are so

And anyway, well, you'd rather do that than just skip the shower for a day.

Well, I'm a morning shower person, so I don't shower before bed, but I shower every morning to like wake myself up right. And I think I would feel on a day when I don't have to go anywhere and do anything, I can leave that shower till later.

Maybe I'll do it after I exercise or whatever.

But on a day when I've got to do something, it's like get it out of the way. But anyway, my days is different depending on whether or not I'm commuting, obviously, but my non negotiable now that I'm in a season where I can do it, is a walk every single morning, no matter where. I'm not Monday, i lie because obviously i'm driving a car on getting.

On the train.

But if I'm in Sydney, I'll walk. If I'm at home, we walk.

And the time that Brent and I were able to leave the kids in the house in the morning to go and walk the dog together was like the biggest watershed parenting moment when you can do that because where you're at, Claire and why people like you just can't even imagine that.

No, but I'm thinking I used to walk exactly.

I remember walking and Amber when that was nice. I'm walking the dog in the morning and watching the sun come up and realizing why are all the when I'm in the city and I'm walking, I'm like, where are all these people going?

Yeah?

Yeah, what time do you do your morning walk? So these days seven point thirty okay, eight o'clock. Sometimes at home we've got the when the kids are we've got their them out the door because we're still like feeding them breakfast and making them lunch. And then they get on their school bus and go because we live in the country.

So they got on a school bush. We don't have to take them, which is awesome. And then when I'm here six forty five.

Oh wow.

So when I'm here, I set my alarm.

I'm a snooze person, you know how mel Robins that's her non negotiable, you cannot have a snooze alarm. She's on bending about morning routine. She says, the minute you wake up, you got to get out of bed three two one go. I deliberately always set my alarm ten minutes early so I can snooze because I.

Love that feeling of like, oh I've got to wake up. Oh no, I don't. I just love that. But you're just setting your alarm earlier. No, and then I go back to sleep for ten minutes.

And that ten minutes that makes all the difference.

But just six twenty alarm, six point thirty, get up, get your exercise clothes on, get out the door, walk, come back, make up, hair whatever, come in.

Like that's what I do, and when I don't have to deal with the kids. And the thing about the morning shift and the idea of setting everything up is lovely, but that shift is going to look very different depending on what is required of your right. Like I know the reason when my kids were little and I'm stripping beds and washing things is because you can't walk back into a house to a stinky house and you know, beds that need doing and all that kind of stuff.

Whereas later on you can.

So I think that the problem with all the morning TikTok advice is it's very unbending.

Whereas we all know.

And our stories have just shown that, like it's pretty different depending on what's going on.

You can't make Matilla do morning shift with charliebor I know.

I do make her do some closing shift. I say, go on, pick up all your toys. Put them away so badly, and yet I'm like, you're on clothes.

Do you reckon?

I've ever made a change to your morning that's made a world of difference to your.

Day Post COVID, Rory and I got into the morning walks, Yeah, because we had moved to Bond Eye, and that was heaven. It's just so much clearer. Once we got to work. That was when I can't walk.

I literally feel it. It's not an exercise thing, No, it's a head clearing thing. Yeah, you walk to work.

I do walk to work.

I think the thing that's changed the most for the better has been my morning coffee. When I was living with my parents, my sister, me, mom and dad, before we all went to work or school, we'd all just sit together and have our coffee together. And I didn't know how much I appreciated that until I lived alone, and then I started just because I lived so close to cafes, I would just get my coffee on the

And I love that. I mean, you probably can't.

My family never sat down together in the morning, so many of you. There were so many of us, and I was always in trouble for being the last one. And Mom's like, you're gonmost the train and then she'd be run And I remember one day she stopped at the station to drop us off and her boot was wide open because one of us hadn't closed it, and she drove off and we were all trying to say, Mum, your boots so but she was like, I hate you. I'm like, some bad things would have happened that day.

We'd love to know if anyone, if any out louders have cracked the morning shift, depending on what stage of life they're at. I think when you've got little kids, you just have to let it go, right. I know it comes back around, like now I get to walk the dog.

You know, it's good. Anyway. I was recently made aware of a corner of the Internet that I did not know exist It's an online community on Reddit called bald and their motto is lose your hair, not your head.

Oh very smart.

So on the subreddit, it's all about these men empowering other men to go bald if they're balding. I went on it to see what all the fuss is about. They have one point three million weekly visitors to their group, and the top posts are men posting before and afters, like we kind of see what celebrities, except it's men who are going visit bald as before photo and then the after photos them fully shaving their head.

And I was very turned on.

These men are beautiful. So you can ask any of my friends. I've always always always found bald men to be extremely attractive. Give me a celebrity example, Jason Stadium and Charlie XCX's husband George. Yeah, so hot.

There is there is this confidence to it. It's like I don't need hair.

And then if they have it like a thick neck with tattoos.

Thick beard, Oh my god.

It is like the best combination of so excited.

It is like my dream, like if.

Hinge had like the option of like to choose physical features, which I don't think it should but if it had might be bald tick bald that I.

Bet there are so many men who would be so happy to hear that, because you know, we talk about beauty standards for women all the time, right, and the pressure and the blah blah blah. But men and hair

And the fact that a lot of the medications, it's not that you're necessarily going to your GP and getting prescribed something. You're getting something online and it might have crazy side effects. One of the side effects of one of the most kind of widely adopted hair loss medications is that it can affect sex drive, cause sexual dysfunction or affect sperm quality. Huge decision to make to weigh

Well, it must be hard for guys too, because everyone just shouts at them, shave your head. Man lo clt with shaved heads, as many men do do, but not all men.

It's the same as women. I imagine if we just got that advice all the time.

And I remember when I was at college, one of my really good friends who sound shaved her head and she looked she looked like Shinead O'Connor.

She looked gorgeous. If I'd have shaved my head, I'd look like a potato, Like.

I don't have the head for it.

And everybody's head is not equal.

And yet we say to guys all the time, just shave it off, you'll be fine, and they're like, but maybe I've got a horrible herd.

I really liked scrolling through this Reddit thread because it was like positive masculinity. It's men being like, you can do this, It's okay. Everyone loses their hair like it's really cute, but it made me think, and this is a little depressing, what's the female equivalent of bold pride? Like, is there anything that we can g out?

So this week I've seen a few women on and it feels a bit throwback to me because it's the

Like you know what I mean?

Like it also kind of devolves into a sort of judgment y space. But it would be nice to think it wouldn't have to Prince Harry and William on that Reddit thread.

Oh I reckon. Yeah, they'd have pseudonyms, but they'd be on there. They'd be taking digs at each other because we.

Know that Harry did that. Harry Harry did that in his book.

He had a dig at William's hair loss in his book, which now I think he might be regretting because he also is struggling with his hairline now and there's again, shave your head, Harry em would love it.

Oh my god, Harry, please what made me sad about this bread? It was because I genuinely didn't know that so many men felt ashamed about going bald or even like going gray, I would say, is the same. And it just made me think that everyone has a type. Like all my friends know that bald men are specifically

God, there's no.

One for you anywhere. There's someone for everyone, guys, there's a lid for every pot exactly.

That's what my grand needs to say after the break. Recommendations and em, it's going to tell us about the show that everybody.

Is talking about.

Vibes, ideas, atmosphere.

Casual, soping, fun.

This is my best recommendation.

It's Friday and We want to obviously give you all the good things to do and watch and all that stuff this weekend, and Emily Vernon is going first, what are we supposed to be watching?

We are all supposed to be watching a show on Netflix called How to Get to Heaven from Belfast. Everybody's told me about it.

It's a very long name. For the longest time I was, I was.

Calling it the long Journey Road from Heaven to Belfast and how to get there.

It is so good.

It's created by Lisa McGee, who created my favorite of all time, Dairy Girls, right, And it's about these three women who are childhood friends in their late thirties. One of their friends have passed away and they realized she's passed away under mysterious circumstances, so they take it upon themselves to figure out how she died. Dear Sirisha darre Rob, they have some terribly sad news. Second, may free understood.

Dead and like Moors. Whole thing's just awful, just so young.

I was talking about your rouge foot Are they pajamas? The treasures work like pajamas.

It is one of those murder mysteries, but it is so so funny. Like crazy funny. In the first few episodes, I had to have subtitles on because if you watch Darry the Irish Northern Irish very accents, so it's Northern Irish accent is one of them, Shamie Dawn and best

Own famous in it or are they all They're not the same people from Dairy Girls, Like it's different.

There are some characters in Darry Girls, but their side characters look, I.

Don't know that main character.

They were not no, but they're famous in Ireland because my mom watched the show and she was like, you should know all of these people because they're famous, and I I was like, okay, but it's just really funny. It's also one of those shows that you can watch by yourself or with friends or with a partner, and everyone you're watching with it.

You're not going to feel like do they like it? Do they not? Because they will love it.

I've heard the soundtracks also really good. The soundtrack is really good. You can also find it on Spotify. So I've been listening on my warning walks and it's just one of those feel good shows that I feel like is perfect, like the perfect formula of a perfect show.

Why do I love watching things set in Ireland? I'd watch anything.

There's always that God element that's like there, but it's just fun. It's just really Northern Ireland.

Not that this Belfast Belfast.

I love it. Can't wait to go, I need to go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, No, Belfast is absolutely a vibe.

Yeah, okay, everyone watch it.

It's on Netflix, please and then talk to me about it and tell me your theories.

Plus Stevens also on Well, this is just pure dark, no humor. Ah, I like fictional dark things at the moment because the world is very dark. I don't need to look at that. Best book I've read in quite a long time The Death of Us by Abigail Dean. So, Abigail Dean is the author of Girl A, which I loved.

That book's really really dark. Yeah, it's a very good book.

That one is about seven siblings who grew up in a house of Horror's situation.

Often I know one of those books that stays with you like it's.

Grim as all it does. And is this a similar vibe?

Yeah, And Abigail Dean was a lawyer for a decade, and I feel like that really comes through in her writing. You can tell, because even with the House of Horror's story, it came out in like just in some of the storyline.

And there was a really good twist.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And this book, The Death of Us Sunday Times bestseller. Obviously. It's about a couple, Isabelle and Edward, whose lives completely change after a terrifying home invasion and attack. And here's the blurb because it just it sums it up so well. It's the story everyone wants to hear that spring night in South London when Isabelle and Edward's lives were torn apart. That night, Isabelle learned that the worst things wait just

Not sure I can handle it at the moment, but I'll get there.

It's not so great help that's real. I have something completely different. Oh, either of you seen Harry Styles this one night in Manchester on Netflix my friends, No, I have not.

No, Emily won't be watching. You're not a Harry Styles guy. No, I'm like, I mean, I like his music. He could work on his dance moves.

I was gonna say, I'm here to watch him dance.

I am.

He's got some new moves.

So Harry has a new album out. It's called It's an embarrassing title. Even I have to say it's an embarrassing title. It's kiss all the Time Disco occasionally. I'm too old for that title. I'm definitely too old for that title. But the add's too long a banger, it's dance music.

I love it. I'm here for it. But the way that he.

Has released it into the world is it released on Friday. On Friday night, he did a concert in Manchester, which obviously is my hometown where tickets are only twenty pounds because that's my Harry massive arena show. And all he did was play the album, so it's not like the show that he's going to tour. He just played the album and then he threw a few crowd pleases. On the end of it abous he was and everything for the ladies.

This is not the tour show.

We don't ever play it like this again.

Believed in Manchester.

You have one simple child.

And then it's to have as much.

Fun as you possibly.

And then it dropped on Netflix on Sunday, so they were not messing around. They were like concert Friday drops on Netflix on Sunday.

I think Sunday English time. It was six am Monday our.

Time that I was waiting refreshing.

So it's just so interesting. I love watching how artists.

Are trying to like beat the algorithm cynicism these days, you know, like, so this is just a new way to show you an album, I guess. But Harry is glorious as he always is. The songs are bangers, but it's also really perfect. My point is it's the perfect thing to put on your Telly on Saturday morning and then do all your jobs to it. Because the music is banging every now and again, you can look up and you'll just see Harry.

Like going, it's a big movie, is this.

He's gospel choir, he's got classical musicians, he's got lots of like Knob twiddling DJs and stuff. His band are often very female heavy, which they always are. He has one of the best female drummers in the world, always plays with him.

Is he still wearing really nice outfits?

Well?

I was distracted by the fact that, so he plays for ninety minutes, the man dances and runs all over the place. He wears long pants, a buttoned up long sleeve shirt with the sweatshirt over the top. And the man does not have one drop of sweat on his head. But I was very distracted by that. I am drowning in sweat walking across the park.

I was going to say, is that you.

So fit?

Don't you just want to take your shirt off? Like I don't mean for perfect I mean like with a.

T shirt or something. I'm like, there's a.

Lot of clothes.

I know it's Manchester and it's cold, but like they're inside anyway.

But that aside, it's just joy, Like it's just joy. You can see how much he loves this music. I was a little bit worried about him at the end, because he goes off and he's on his own, and I'm like, why don't you wait for the band and all hug each other?

And like I am.

I was like, I'm worried about you anyway. Apart from that, apparently what's the name he's dating? So we crab it.

Yes, she was there, but she isn't on the film because he doesn't do that.

I would have liked that.

Yeah, she was definitely there. They were seeing in Manchester that day, but she wasn't there anyway. It's great if you just want some good shoes to clean your frickin' house too, or maybe dance around to your move app or whatever.

Harry's live show is it okay?

I might give it a go now.

The man is amazing.

He's a good scene.

Anyway. It's called One Night in Manchester and it's on Netflix. No, that is all we have time for this week.

Friends, A massive thank you to all of you for being here with us all week. Who wants to thank our incredible team?

I can a big thank you to our beautiful, beautiful team. Our group executive producer Rude Divine, our executive producer Sashatanic, our senior audio producer Is Porges, our video producer Josh Green, and our junior content producer.

Is Tessa Kodovich.

Mum mayor acknowledges the traditional owners of the land on which we have recorded this podcast.

Hey out louders.

Miya does special subscriber episodes every Tuesday and every Thursday. Hopefully you're listening because they are golden and we are about to play you part of the conversation that she and Amelia Lester had yesterday about female friendship. A link to subscribe is in the show notes.

Well, the weird thing about our friendship is that we have had the energy, but we've never had proximity, and we've never had timing.

We've always been in.

Vastly different life stages. You're much younger than me, much much decades younger, right decade, but also life stage wise, yes, like by the time I was your age, finished having kids. You've got little kids.

You're a grandmother.

I'm a grandmother, so our kids are similar ages. But I'm a grandmother and you weren't even married when I met you. And then when we're in proximity. You know, we both worked in the media and stuff, but then you took a different track with your career and moved back overseas, so we've never had those things. What we've always had is energy. Yes, you know for the ten years of our friendship. Yes, we've just pinged back and forth multiple times every day.

But what I wanted to ask about is on that energy point, what does mel say about the extent to which you should be sort of letting your friends versus intervening with them, Because I feel like since I moved back and we've been in closer contact physically, I feel like we've had a few blow ups that we didn't have before, And I wonder if that's because we are expecting or demanding more from each other now that we're.

No, I think it's because we're working together now. Oh, I think it's that. I honestly don't think it's that. Yeah, I don't think it's the proximity will never be in the same life stage, although no, we probably won't.

But then this morning when we were talking about it, Holly said, Oh, I let everyone do everything, and if a friend is doing something annoying, I just let it go. And I'm curious what you think about that, because I heard that and I thought I'm the opposite of that. I never let anything go. In fact, you said to me you never let anything go.

You never let anything go, but not necessarily in a bad way. You're not afraid of confrontation, and most people are, and I've never minded that about you.