We Just Want This "Season" To Be Over

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Mamma Mea acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast is recorded on Hello, and welcome to Mama Mia out Loud. And to Friday, which is the show when we take a break from the news cycle an next day.

Their little asmr oh stop.

Actually I'm about to sneeze, and that's not gonna be for anyone.

Today It's Friday, the thirtieth of August, and my name is Holly Wainwright, I'm Me Friedman, and I'm Jesse Stevens. And on the show today is savor the season you're in, the most infuriating advice you could give a person, and the book you should read this very weekend, a much talked about movie, and Jesse and I are piggybacking together on a recommendation of the one book you have to read this weekend. And me has seen a very talked

That's our best and worst.

But first, in case you missed it, there's a new sexuality available. Well, it's not available. People have always had it, I assume, but now there's a new word for it, and it's called being abrosexual. And this means your sexuality changes over time, so you might be attracted to different genders at different times of your life or have varying levels of sexual attraction to those genders, so you might

I have a question, which is, don't you think that we are beginning to find that most people are abrosexual, that sexuality is something that changes for a lifetime, Like we've seen women who get divorced and then the next relationship might be with a woman, or there might be periods of a decade where someone says I'm totally asexual. Like, I guess I appreciate that there's a word for it, but then I'm also like, is naming something that's fluid the opposite to fluid?

You know what I mean?

Oh?

Yeah, Like if.

There are paradox in trying to create new labels for things that can't be labeled, which is at sexuality.

There's a fluidity to it.

That is definitely new, Like I don't think that, well, it's probably not new, no, but the idea that we're acknowledging it is new.

What I think is interesting because there'll be people listening right now whose eyes have rolled into the back of their head, and I hope they're not driving because that's dangerous, And then there'll be others that are probably thinking, oh, well, that's what I am.

Why do you think people would roll their eyes at this?

Oh, people do. I roll my eyes at it sometimes because I think if you feel like you have a name that makes sense for your sexuality, then you don't understand why everybody needs to be a special snowflake and have a specific word. And that's not just an attitude of older people, although it is more common probably in older people. I know young people who also roll their eyes very heavily at this idea of everybody gets their own type of sexuality, and not just straight young people.

How how do you identify?

Probably, well, it's really hard because there's who you actually have sex with, which is my husband, who's a man, and that's who I've had sex with for you know, thirty odd years. And then there's who I might have sex with if I wasn't married to him, and I don't know. I don't know. Would I have sex with women? Probably? Would I also have sex with men? Probably?

Like what if?

Is there a word for hypothetical? So I'm a hypothetic?

Used to be like rip your clothes off, and now I'm like, I'd rather eat a box of hair? Is there is there a word for that?

Do I get a label?

I think label for me?

I think you should make up your own word. I think the word is tired. All week, we've been busting to talk about a sub stack published for The Evil Witch's newsletter titled no amount of cherishing your kid now will let you skip feeling melancholy later. And if you don't have kids, this isn't really about kids. It's about periods of your life you're told to cherish and savor.

A lot of pressure when people tell you that, yeah, best day of your life, best time of your life.

And older people do it to younger people.

My daughter just finished school last year and she's felt so much pressure.

We decided to speak to a few people in the Mummeya office about what they've been told to savor and how it made them feel.

Here's what they said.

It pisces me off, and people say save in the moment when your two year old is being a testing, little nightmare, and people just say, oh, they're only babies once, Like, I get it, but she's pissing me off.

Everyone used to tell me to savor the moment when I was going to university, because once you get into the real world and you have to start working full time, you know, no one likes that, But I was going to university during COVID time, so I was literally sitting at home doing assignments in the dark, sad, and that's not really a moment I wanted to savor.

When I moved overseas Australia, everybody was saying, oh God, enjoy, you don't want to get to see this one's whereas deep down inside I was an anxious mess about me have a halfway across the world where absolutely nothing.

The last time I remember someone telling me to save the moment outside of parenthood was a colleague who told me exactly that, right before I got made redundant. It was a manager work environment was toxic as hell, and people had been made redundant and everyone was scared. And so he turned to me and said, just save at the moment. You've got a great paying job today.

Thanks mate.

When we've been talking about this newsletter all wake, our head of content, Eliza, had something really interesting to say about it. And for context, she has three very little kids. She is in the thick of it as much as one can be, and.

She's just moved to Australia from other country.

Yep. Here are some of her insights.

I hate when people say, oh, it's just a season that you're in. It implies that you don't have any agency to change what's going on on. I understand when like I walk down the street and my kid does something funny and people go, oh, that's like, isn't this a great season? Love that sentiment, But I hate that sentiment where I'm having a shit time, they're not sleeping at night, my bills are stacking up because of childcare,

What does it mean to save uh? And does it actually make us think more positively? The writer Claire Zulki says that on social media, when you have a wind or you complain, particularly at being in the trenches with parenting. The common retort is you'll miss this one day, she writes.

To an end.

That person is very smart.

Yes, well, they went to university like me. You two have kids that are not babies anymore. Do you feel a compulsion to yell at me to savor every moment?

No, but I have a compulsion and to yell at all the people winging about being told to savor, because come on, is that really what it's like you say?

Today?

I had to clean up a lot of vomit and rush the kid to blah blah, and some idiot's just saying to you save. At this moment, I see a lot of parents complaining about things, and no one's saying that everybody's in it together, don't Oh aren't they do? These people just finding things to moan about about our people.

Holly, you are on a different algorithm to me. I know what they're talking about, which is that there is this trending kind of motherhood content. I've actually found, controversially some of it really helpful.

Yes, because you the thing that I found interesting about this.

What's the trend? I don't understand.

But when you had your baby, you said to me a million times. Everybody has only told me how shit it is. There isn't enough stuff out there telling me how good it is. And now what I'm hearing from everybody is stop telling me how.

Good it is.

I want to talk about how shit it is. And I'm just like, oh my god, can anyone say anything?

So a lot of people say and I guess it's wisdom. And it's also people communicating about parenting from different stages, which I find annoying, which is you think.

Newborns are hard, wait until they can too.

And I'm like, Okay, that's actually not really helpful. But the savoring thing I always say I read this thing, but actually I just saw it on TikTok and it said, whenever you feel frustrated, or you feel irritated or whatever, all the multitude of emotions you feel with kids, look at the size of their hands, and it just helps to remind you that they're really.

Little, and they'll never be this little, and they'll.

Never be this little again. Which is a cliche and might sound frustrating. I actually find some of this savoring talk really helpful because it does put into perspective when it's a long day or when you've made sacrifices. There's something very Sisaphian about it. It feels like you get up and you can do the same thing and the

Yeah, there's a Hamish Blake quote which I can't stop thinking about.

We had Richard Branson on the show and one of the guys on our radio show, Jack He basically said to Richard Bresley is like, you are a billionaire. Can we just go downstairs to the ATM just give me a thousand dollars? Like just give me, like nothing, it's nothing to you, and it's like, this would change my month. In the response to that, Richard Branson was like, I'll take you this something, I'll give you all my money for. And Zack's like really, He's like yeah, your age, And

Was at the time.

At any moment, we would want to go back in time because time is the most finite resource. So acknowledging that whatever moment you're in is one you're going to feel nostalgic for later.

It's probably a healthy thing to do.

I just don't think that's true, because I don't think you do feel nostalgic for every moment you're in. I think we're kind of mixing up two different things. One is about the person who says that to you. It's not about you, it's about them, and it's about them

We've talked about seasons on this podcast before, right, which is the idea that you're in a season and that season will change. So for people who are currently deep in grief, or maybe you're in a period where you've leaned out of.

Work and you're not actually loving yourself.

It tells you to savor that though people tell you to savor the things that they miss, and people tell you it's just a season to help you cope with a really bad touch in your life.

I'm also conscious and this is what I think. This is a reaction to. We can't live life through the prism of this too shall pass in every season because I see us doing this too. We go I'm pregnant, this will pass, I have little kids, this will pass, school, this will part, Like what are we waiting for?

I agree with you.

Like the thing that I found upsetting when Eliza said to us, I hate that this is a season thing because she said it makes me feel dismissed. And when I say that to somebody this is a season, that is the last thing I mean, I do not mean to dismiss them, Like, to be really honest, When I think back to that season that we're talking about, the early kid season, the having little kids and massive daycare bills, and rushing, rushing, rushing every day, and having no family

But the thing is is.

That the thing about aging is we do get more wisdom because I do know what it was like to be, you know, young and have a young family and all those things, but you don't know what it's like to be on the other side of that. So, you know, denying that people who've been through things have wisdom about it because it makes you feel bad is just silly.

So do you think that savoring is something that you inevitably get better at as you get.

I have got better at it as I go.

I reckon that I now know how to savor, and I reckon I've only just really figured it out. So to me, what savoring is about? And you've said this to me before me and I think it's really true. You know how people say, but are you happy? You know, we have a podcast called that Happiness isn't a state, like a solid, constant state. What you get better at, in my experience as you get older is reckonizing the

Yeah, or you're living only in the past or the future. Right Because I'm a very nostalgic person, and I look back and think, I don't know, I miss things that I'm sentimental about, things that have passed, and I feel as though time is speeding up. But I was reading about micro joys and how it is like I have never enjoyed my morning coffee more.

I feel as.

Though even that moment I go, I love having a coffee at the night. I like how it tastes, I like the smell, I like the experience. Maybe that's the highest iile' have all day, and that doesn't make me sad. Maya, are you nostalgic? You don't strike me as very nostalgic.

You wrote one of the most famous pieces that's ever been published on the internet about the nostalgia of watching your kids grow up.

You did that beautiful piece.

You're every time I talk about it, I feel like I get tiery.

Maybe you are nostalgia he is.

You know what I wrote. I think in that piece is that there's a lot of emphasis on first. When you've got little kids, you want to move forward. You're excited to get to that next stage, and also you want it to get easier. You know, first two, first night, sleeping in a big bed, first steps, first, all of those things. But what you don't see is the last. What you only see in the review mirror is the last.

So I agree with what she said one hundred percent about this. It's just a season. Nonsense should not mean that we don't change anything. But I don't think it's meant to be dismissive. And I think the problem is I agree with you. I think I think it's meant to be helpful. It's meant to be Yeah, but and I know I totally recognize, you know, like I had years and years of one of my kids sleeping in

Yeah, And your wisdom about talking about kids growing up, I've realized has enormously impacted how I parent, because a lot of people don't have conversations like that with other generations, right because we're all in And in fact, this article had a really good point, which was that when you're in whatever stage of parenting, also make sure you are speaking to parents with kids who are a bit older, because that gives you a little bit more perspective, and

It's all passing.

But you're also right, man, we can't spend all our like savoring shouldn't be another job, like no, like giving you savoring to add to your list of to doos is like the least helpful.

And I feel like women are so good at that we feel a way that's sad or upset or whatever, and then we feel bad that we don't feel the way that we feel like we should. So it's like we double down on feeling bad. Men don't do this to their credit. I wish we didn't do it, But that idea, that's somehow that I'm not doing life right. And there are a lot of things that I prefer

But I like that you did it.

Yeah, I like that I did it.

Out louders, let us know how you feel about seasons and savoring. Jump into the mummya out louders Facebook group. Can't wait to hear what you have to say.

Mother mea out loud.

It's recommendations time.

And you know, this is a bit spooky because Jesse.

And I are recommending a book that's kind of about what we were just talking about. And I actually interviewed the author of this for a show next week, and we've just talked about what we just talked about too. Obviously in the moment, it's in the air, it is, right. So my recommendation and Jesse's piggybacking on it is the New Leanne Moriarty novel.

Is out now yesterday, right.

I don't think I need to explain to Momma out loud as who Leanne Moriarty is.

But she is one of Australia's most successful authors.

She wrote Big Little Lies, she wrote Last Anniversary, The Husband's Secret, like a Million Things, and she literally sells millions of books, and so when a book of hers comes out, it's a big deal. This book is so freakin good. All three of us have read it because we're lucky.

I am so bummed that I didn't get in and say I wanted to redeem this too, because we all.

We fast to leave.

And then Holly brought it up and I was like, when does it come out? Because we've all published books with Pamrick Millen who do lean And this is one of the advantages is that we get sent an early copy.

Yes, and I book of the Job.

I read the first chapter and so did my mum. We're on holidays together, and then we just fought over the book for the whole holiday.

I had a really interesting experience. The book's called here One Moment, and it's about we're not going to give too much away, but the tagline is if you knew the future, would you try to fight fate? Well, you can tell it whole, because that's recommended.

I'll do a little bit of the setup. As Mia says, we won't give too much away, but this is the beginning of it. And basically what happens is there's a mid life woman on a plane and the plane is delayed. We meet all the different people on the plane, and then she suddenly stands up and she tells each of them how and when they're going to die. That is how the first chapter of this book goes. It is so good, such a good premise. It read itself, this book.

So what I found with this book is that I nearly put it down because I find that stuff confronting, Yeah, confronting. It makes me anxious thinking about death all those things. And yet I couldn't put it down, and I pushed through it. And I think I read it in one day because I just I was really pulled through it. And at the end, the way she lands the plane, not literally, but the way she wraps it all up is so skillful. Like you know, you guys are novelists,

Extraordinary payoff is perfect And Holly, when you told me that you were interviewing Leanne Moriarty, you actually told me an interesting detail about her life and this might be particularly relevant to her.

Yes, and so she if you're wondering what we're talking about, she is next Tuesday's guest on mid which is another podcast I do, and she's fantastic. And then it she talks about why this was so front of mine for her. She had recently lost her father and both she and her sister have been diagnosed with breast cancer and gone through treatment for breast cancer, which she talks about on mid.

It is just so good.

It's so good.

I loved all her books, but I love this one. I think it's the best one she's written. In News like Bloody love it.

It's called here One moment, and it is in all good bookshops and wherever you get your books now.

So that was a little bit of a popular recommendation.

May you're really good at bringing in sort of the indie, the kind of undercover the left of center.

Go what are you recommending?

Holly is the basic bitch in the original?

Yeah.

I went to see a little movie with Blake Lively that it called Hims.

With us, we all have an idea of what love can be.

I want to see you again.

Now you see me.

You know what I mean, that special connection you feel, that first kiss. But fifteen seconds, that's all it takes to completely change everything. I'm so sorry.

I loved it.

I think i'd like it.

I loved the movie. I think Blake Lively should be nominated for an Oscar.

I don't think.

I think all the backlash has been so mean, and I don't understand it because she is so good. The movie is so good. I think I understand what happened between her and just In Baldoni because there's two tracks to this. There's all the drama around the movie, and she and Justin Baldoni, who's the director and also her co star, they play a couple. They don't talk, and the author of the book, Colin, who doesn't talk, and none of the cast talk to him, and what happened?

Could I take Matilda? It's just fourteen?

Is that?

Like?

I mean, I know it's got serious themes, but like.

Would she enjoy it?

Of course, I'm not allowed to go to the movies by myself, have to take a child.

I think it's I really liked it. I really liked it. I'm not saying sorry.

And if you're not going to watch the movie, just a little plug here. This week's episode of Canceled is all about it ends with us about the other story, the drama.

Okay, the drama. Yeah. I went with my daughter and she didn't know about the drama. We spoke about this on a subscriber episode. But we had a big fight about trigger warnings afterwards, because she thought that there should have been one. I think there was at the beginning. There was like not a trigger warning, but just like the usual content warning that you get at the beginning of a film, what it's rated or yeah, whatever, But you know, in terms of actual violence, I can't say.

Seen about to talk about that army with your worst of the week, much worse.

But trigger warnings and what makes you upset what doesn't make you upset? There were times I just looked away, like what I do in movies. If I know something bad is going to happen or something I don't want to see, I literally just look down at my hand for a while until it's over. Anyway, That's what I do.

If you want all our recommendations, if you sometimes, like as people do in the out Louders group, they say, what was.

That TV show?

That brilliant, witty TV sho show that wholly recommend it? All our recommendations are always in the newsletter, So there's a link in the show notes for where you can subscribe to that and never miss recommendation again.

Want unlimited out loud access, We drop episodes every Tuesday and Thursday exclusively for Mum and Maya subscribers. Follow the link in the show notes to get us in your ears five days a week. And a huge thank you to all our current subscribers.

It's time for Best and Worst of the Week, the part of the show where we share a little more from our personal lives. They can be big things, they can be small things. It's important that this is a safe space without judgment or trigger warnings. Holly, what was your.

The phrase trigger warning?

I'd like to use it to poke at you. What's your worst of the week?

So my worst of the week is mid related And I didn't mean for this to mention Mede a couple of times, what your podcast?

I'm allowed?

Thank you me, thank you for giving me this one and that one.

Thank you anyway, my worst of the week is related to mid which is the other show I do conversation with GenEx women, and this week we did an episode about rage, which is very pertinent to midlife women. It's a great episode and I love it. That's not my worst. But my worst is the messages that I have got from so many midlife women for whom rage and anger and anxiety, but particularly raised and anger in midlife around hormones and other things, are making their lives really hard.

So that feeling of you know, you're out of control. Yeah, and you see the look in someone's eye, maybe someone in your family who you might be shouting at, and the deep shame that you have, but you also can't stop. Like it's awful. I found the rage one of the most difficult, along with the crying, one of the most difficult emotional symptoms.

The energy it takes to try and keep a handle on your rage as well is enormous. So if you're walking around going it's there. I've said this to a therapist before, like, I just sometimes I feel like I will explode. I think a lot of are like I'm one, with all.

Due respect to your people, our people have an actual hormonal reason, which is that as your estrogen drops, your estrogen is your happy hormone that keeps you very accommodating and wants approval. As that drops, suddenly the beast is unleashed.

It's true, but you know, I'm not a doctor. We're not like you know.

For me.

It's true that hormone therapy is definitely helped, but I'm not telling people what to do with their lives. But it's also interesting because to your point, Jesse, women are very good at pushing down anger, like we have all been conditioned to do it and to put up with a lot of stuff and go that's fine, it's fine.

I'm fine.

So when you can't do that anymore, like sometimes I'm like, well, how unreasonable is it? How much is this estrogen? And how much is this just me being like I fucking had it anyway? So my worst is just understanding how many women out there are feeling really sad about it. And if that's you, I'm very sorry. Go and talk to someone and listen to me.

I don't know if I told you, guys that Gran when she was about sixty five, I remember, being a little kid, bought a punching.

Bag her garage.

Yeah, she had a lot going on, and she was at that age still looking after Simon, my cousin, with an intellectual disability, and she was overwhelmed, probably postmenopausal or whatever it was. And she had a punching bag and it was the funniest thing to me as a kid.

And now I'm like, where did that go?

I get it?

I would like to give it to my friend Allie.

I love it anyway.

My best is out Louder related, because you're all a On Monday's show, we had a topic that was like choose three words for your wardrobe or like how you would like your style to be, and one of them was an aspirational word, like this is what I would like to be And I didn't know what mine was and Mia picked it for me and she was right, and it was French. This is kind of funny, but it's true, like that sort of effortlessly stylish, that tossled hair, you know, the navy blue or that.

Anyway, I don't.

Think it's a big stretch for you. I'm going to say. It's not like if Jesse said French, or if I said French, it would be like come on, but hold that is, you know, that's why it resonates.

You were right.

She's very helpful.

Actually we give her a lot of shit, but between me and Lee Campbell, they tell me what to wear and what to put in my face.

I appreciate anyway.

Out louders have been messaging me with all this like shop here, here's a link, by this, by that, and now all I want to do is buy blue shirts and all these fancy shops which is not ideal, but I love you all for jumping in and telling me how to shop and to you. My best week has definitely been discovering That's French, a.

Special video for you whole that we will put in the out Louders newsletter this week about how to drench dress French Drench press, bench press French dress. I'm going to go next my worst of the week. I'm very angry about this. It's a music video and it is the new music video that came out this week by Sabrina Carpenter, whose music I like. She supported Taylor Swift on the Ears Tour Big at the Times, A massive,

I like that.

This video is called Taste. The song is called Taste, and the song's fine like the song video is with Jenna or Tager, who is the star of Wednesday and the new movie Beetle Juice. Beetlejuice, it is the most violent, shocking, disturbing, distressing graphic it needed. It had one, and I sort of roll my eye. But then I was like, why is this even allowed on YouTube? I think I'm going to report it, And thirty one million people have seen it.

It's hyperviolence, so I watched it too. It's stylized, right, it's a styl.

General or Taga. They like cut each other's arms off with machetes. They shoot each other with guns. And I think the reason that I found it so disturbing and in all seriousness at a time when Taylor Swift had to cancel her concert because men with machetes had planned to come and stab young women her fans coming to that concert, there were other stabbings at another concert in Europe over the weekend. We know gun violence is appalling.

I think it's awful, But mea right I'm not saying I necessarily felt this way, but like it's meant to be a joke, Like she falls and gets impaled on a fence poster, and then she gets up and she gets that pulled out, and then like it's not real, but it looks real.

It's very graphic. It's not a cartoon, no, but it's not road Runner. It's Sabrina Carpenter falling and getting impaled on a fence post general or Tager cutting her arm off, the two of them splattered with blood, machete's flying guns like shooting each other, and then you see the result of the gun shot. And again I did what I think everybody should do, is that I didn't like it. I switched it off. I'm angry that it's made, but that's different to being angry that I wasn't warned about it.

You want to this because you're very smart about marketing. But Sabrina Carpenter's whole stick right. She is short and sweet, she is very stereotypically white girl pretty. She's very like marketed as like fifties pin up kind of thing. But every d and lots of the lyrics is about giving her edge. Yeah, isn't it right? Otherwise it would feel

So I'm disturbed when violence made cool and sexy and fun.

It's like pulp fiction, but more what's your best?

My best was actually going to the movies?

Did I treat I did?

I got a choctaw I love a chock top, and I also got sushi that I took into the movies. I don't know if you allowed to do that, and then I stood on my sushi. Anyway, what I found was because I never go to the movies and only went because Cocone, her friend, had booked tickets, and I went, can I come? It was Saturday night and I had nothing to do, so I went with them. And I think this is why I love the film so much,

Together, like this is what Hollywood keeps trying to tell us right, like we can't kill cinemas. Cinemas are closing and only really big big movie these Marvel movies and stuff are getting cinematic.

Reminded me it's true that.

Movies are better when you see them in the Yes by all movies pretty much.

Yeah, it's just not.

My favorite movies I all saw.

At the Jesse what's your worst of the week?

My worst is I realized that my relationship was in dire straits when I found myself ordering the fair Play car what.

Are they lots of?

Out?

Louder spoke about these after you How to winch about Luca recently.

Maya, don't buy them because it's not gonna work. It's not gonna end well for you. But I learned about them from an episode of The Imperfect and they referred to the fair Play deck by Eve Rodsky.

And oh I know.

First, I'm gonna explain to you why I made it them because the theme of this show this week seems to be the word creep. We're talking about availability creep with work and trigger warning creep. The creep in my life has been like the job creep of certain household tasks which I am not cut out to do, and frankly, I don't.

Particularly enjoy like which ones.

Big one has been around food.

So you start off breastfeeding and then you stop breastfeeding, but then you're at home because you have more of the flexibility for that period, and then you know what they eat, and you've done the allergens and you've been to the doctor who gives you all the information about protein and fat and all that kind of stuff. So then you go, well, if I'm feeding her, I might as well do the groceries. And then if you're doing the groceries, you're also like, well, i'm here, I might

This is what happens.

This is what happens.

Exactly, say, this is exactly what happens.

This is exactly what happens.

So what would you call it, like domestic.

Creed, domestic creep? I'm not domestic.

No, like the mental load used to be, Luca used to be the king of the mental load. And now the scales have tipped and I'm kind of going hang on. And I said to him the other night, I said, I hate food. I hate making it, thinking about it. This baby needs a lot of it, and I'm hating it. And he said, I hear you, I hear you, which is what he always says. What can I action?

And I was like, food, your bucket, your bucket, all of it.

He loves food. Yeah.

I was like, your bucket, you doing the food And he said what might that look like?

And I was like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No look.

Anyway.

So I order these cards in the most path aggressive move of my entire life. And what they have is one hundred household tasks on them. So it's like bedtime routine with the baby, childcare, the bins, groceries, pets, got all of them, and you choose which ones are related to you, and then you sit opposite each other with the alcoholic drink perhaps.

And you put in your pile.

And what I love about this job it's not about even because some jobs like putting the bins out is nothing like bedtime routine. No, not even what it's about is making the invisible things visible because I just think I don't think he realizes very clever, it's the best invention. And so yes, you sit there. I actually haven't told Lukey yet that I have the cards because we've been really busy, so the out louders know before Luca and I. So you haven't done it yet. I'm so true and chosen the car.

Can there be a live stream of for subscribers see.

I don't think you and Jason should do it because Jackson will be like mine.

Yeah, I don't want him to know. I mean he does know how much he does.

But he doesn't need.

But it's true what you say, because everybody's tasks are invisible to the other person. It might be although maybe they aren't a lot of things that he I don't see, Yeah, that he does that you don't see.

I agree.

I like to think there are a lot of things that I do that Jason doesn't see, but they're just done. A lot of things that I do I just don't think you like, except things that aren't wouldn't be on a card, like emotional support.

It's on the card.

I am cheering you on because, as I've said, many times in the show. This is how all the domestic inequality starts. You start off going like we're equal, We're so equal, and then.

Now you're not. Now you're not, and then you go home with a baby.

You feel rage, you feel exhaustion, you feel irritable, and then you kind of go, am I being reasonable right now?

Is this something I should bring up? So anyway, I've got my cards.

I can't wait.

I can't wait.

I'll tell you all about it. Don't tell Locra I wants to bring it on him.

My best is going to contradict everything I just said, which is that I got a Thermo mix.

Yeah you did, and fout Laud has also told you to do that. It's a good job they exist. They are making our lives better in many ways.

Full transparency. I'm doing some work with them. So I had this lady come to my house and show me how to use a Thermo mix. But this isn't sponsored or paid or anything. Do you even know what a Thermo mix?

No? You know. I have a kitchen aid, which I really like because I know I'm a baker, which I think I could do in a Therma mix. But would it tell me? Because I made it a big cake because someone you started here this weekend, Zara, our new cheek content officer. And I was going to make a really big chocolate cake and I bought Smarties. I was going to put a big z Fizara and I was going to bring it in and I made the whole cake and then I realized the butter was rancid. Oh, anyway, that's a tangent.

The Thermo mix would carry your life. I'm actually becoming very evangelical. So the thermoment, what does it do that I got? Is I just it just makes everything.

Well, it cooked dinner if I just look at it.

Yes, Yes, all you have to do is just communicate with your mind what you need.

People with Thermo mixes are verydellical.

Yes, so tell me just because here's my question. Are they simple?

Yes?

Because I think this is a very common thing that happens, is that when we were being very domestic once in lockdown, I went out and spent lots of money on a food processor. It's very complicated. I've never got it out of the cupboard because it's like twenty five different like fittings, things, things, And I was like, I just wanted to chop some carrots for me.

This is as simple as a kid's book in terms of instruction. So I will type in. So the other day I had a lot of eggs and I went, and there's a thing Jesse hate'es waste, And I went, I don't want to waste my eggs. So I type into my Thermo Mix eggs and it gives me every recipe I could possibly make with eggs. And then I go, yeah, I'll make those egg and cheese muffins for Luna. And then it measures it out like it tells you. It has scales in it, so it's like put this in.

A bolid as.

It's not like one bowl.

It's one bowl, so no cleaning up.

You never have to use your stovetop right because it's like good, everything just happens in here. Yeah, I made a pasta, I've made those muffins.

It is that's clever.

You can make cocktails.

Is that a big?

One Friday night?

I make all my smoothies in It changed my life. But what I really need to do is get Luca excited about.

The Thermo mix. That's my job this weekend to make it Luca's exciting new toy.

To make it his. It's a present for him.

Yeah, exactly, Out loud as.

If you've ever wondered how Jesse and I navigate the threesome that is our relationship on and off this podcast, we have a little treat for you in a subscriber episode where we almost had a little therapy session with the three of ourselves. With the three of us, it was great. It was so exciting, I can't speak anymore. We also helping out Louder, who is in a bit of a threesome situation, using our own experience to solve her problems. You can listen by the link in our show notes. That is all we.

Have time for this week. Wonderful out louders. Thank you to all of you you've heard throughout the show the many ways you make our lives better. You tell us how to divvy up with the household tasks, what to wear, how to cook?

We love it.

Thank you all for listening.

To today's show.

We're going to be back in your ears next week, and a massive thanks to our team, our executive producer Bruce Deby, our producer Emmeline Gazillis, and we've had additional audio production by Leo paute Is and we'll be back in your ears next week.

Bye bye bye. Shout out to any Mumma Miya subscribers listening. If you love the show and want to support us as well, subscribing to Mamma mia is the very best way to do so. There is a link in the episode description.