Ugh. Are You The Affirmation Friend?

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Mamma mea acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast is recorded on Hello, and welcome to Mamma Mia out Loud and to our Friday show where we take a break from the news cycle and gosh, this week it's been quite the news cycle and breathe out. Hello. This is my ASMR and I'm trying to make it better but still icky. Today is Friday, the thirteenth of September, and my name is Holly Wainwright.

I'm Jesse Stevens, and I'm m Vernon filling in for me today. You can normally hear me on our daily entertainment podcast, The Spill.

On today's show are your female friendships being sabotaged by affirmation culture? Also make up a book and a Jesse endorsed true crime doc o. It's recommendations and our best and worst of the week include a pet death, a break in, and a dodgy passport picture. But first, Jesse Stevens.

In case you missed it, Dave Grohl fifty five has fathered a child outside his twenty one year marriage, and we know this because he posted about it.

On Instagram. Why did he post about it on Instagram?

His wife was holding a gun to his headit. I don't have evidence of that, but that was the sense I had. The lead singer of the Foo Fighters shared a tile to his one point five million followers on Wednesday that read, I've recently become the father of a new baby daughter born outside of my marriage. I planned to be a loving and supportive parent to her. I love my wife and my children. I'm doing everything I

It's just embarrassing. I can't overstate how much gen X men love the Foo Fighters.

Right, Oh, Foo Fighters. So I had to look him up, yeah, because I didn't know who he was.

He didn't know who Dave Grohl was.

He was in Nirvana with Kirk Cobbain. Oh so he's old school, Yeah yeah, old school cool. So he was in Nirvana with Kirk Cobain and then he went on to form The Food Fighters, who are an enormously successful band. Obviously, but like gen X, white dudes love the Food Fighters so much and I don't. It's like that Church.

I don't know a heap about him, but my gut, you know how we have our bad men radar and like we have, you know, a gut feel. I had a relatively good feel about date he has.

Well, there's a little Taylor Swift problem, but apart from that, he's generally been seen as a good dude, came through a difficult time. Blah blah blah blah blah. This is so embarrassing. What's embarrassing about this is fifty five year old men should not be posting apology declarations like this on social media. They don't understand it, they don't do it right. It's just mortifying. Keep it to yourself, Dave.

What I find more embarrassing is the type of post, because it's not a note at post. It looks like he made it on candy.

This is what i'mstand I was.

Looking at the rest of his grid, and he liked to do a lot of personal essays. Black font a white background, so he had to fit his aesthetic. He had to be like, I'll do the post, but just let me work on the creative outlet's mortifying.

The other thing that's worth noting is so he has quite a very well selling memoir called Storytellers that's like Collections of writing and whatever. It's coming out with a new edition in October. And the sound we can probably hear the publicists and the publishers scrambling to be like,

He said she actually had to we actually play live. Yes, yeah, that was it.

That was it, Dave.

Well, look, we're not here for the you know, the still a little gossip. What we do here is work cultural commentation.

That is exactly what we do here.

We notice an unpacked cultural trends and this reminded me of a social phenomena that I've seen reported on lately, and it's very serious and I like you both.

Listener.

There was an article on Mama Maya with the headline Cosey Lives means no one can afford secret second family.

And when is our rule is being hit by that?

Exactly? It gets all of us. When is Albo going to address that in front of parliament? Is my question. The theory originated on Twitter and TikTok, and it's based largely on vibes. They believe that there are less second families than there were in say, the eighties and nineties. Some tweets read bring back affordable second families. Most people can't even afford half a family. There are calls for an academic paper to be written on the decline privilege.

Isn't it that he can afford to have this second family privilege?

Oh?

Yeah, generations are going to get that.

Exactly right, I reckon. Maybe that's why Dave had to post, because he's probably got a CROWDFUNDI second family. How am I going to support them?

I know we should not laugh because there are real people affected by this, but we think about your female friendships. If you vent in real life in your group chat about your relationship, do you expect that your good friends will say, yeah, babe, you're so right there being a total dig. Don't beat yourself up about that. If you vent in real life or in your group chat about your boss, do you expect that your female friends will say, yes, they sound like a complete idiot. They don't know how

Is yes, absolutely yes.

My answer is absolutely yes, And if yours is too, then your friendships might have been infected with affirmation culture. As expressed in an article in The Cut by Catherine jesse morton affirmation culture, This idea is that the lens that we view the world through is mostly filtered by the idea that us women because it's mostly women who

Yes, I have a lot of affirmation friends. I am not one of them. What I'm an anti affirmationer?

I thought you were very yes girl slave, etc.

I yeah, yes, girls say. I am the kind of friend that wants the best for my friends, but it's not unconditional, as in, like, I want the best for my friends, but if I feel like the affirmations won't give them the best outcome they want, I will be that person.

To tell you.

So, Okay, we're out to dinner and I say complaints about my husband. He leaves his towel on the floor and it's wet, and then I have to pick it up. Go what do you say?

I say, you need to talk to him about this. I'm not going to be that friend to be like, oh that sucks, let's go order some dessert. Oh my goodness, I need to break this because I want the best outcome for your life, because that's my job as a friend. Is I care? I care? I want you to fix this. You're breaking with social contract, I know, but I do have rules for being the anti affirmation friend. So it's always like, if you just want to vent to me,

Oh? This is very good. She's very evolved because it's true. I do not want criticism unless I've asked for it.

Yeah, and I never do it in a group chat. So my friends know because they know that I'm the anti affirmation. If they're complaining about some thing and they're wanting advice, they know I have something to say because I'll just stay silent and I'll just read all their messages and then i'll message them separately. And I don't actually message. It's always a voice note because I don't think it comes across well in message.

So hold on back to role play. I'm in your group chat, and I'm going my boss is a bitch isn't here, So let's go. I'm saying my boss is a bitch, or my husband's a dick, or my kid's an asshole or whatever. All the other girls are going yeah.

Slay, yeah, yes that's or just like a little thumbs, I know you're not saying anything.

And then the next thing that happens is in my I get a voice note from you.

I get a message first saying do you want my actual thoughts right?

And then I get a voice note from you that might say, have you considered that the reason that your boss is a bitch is because you're not very good at your job?

Is that what's gonna happen? I'm not mean so, but I will bring up stuff like, hey, maybe she acted this way because you did say this to her.

And is that one you honestly want? So let's say you know, you've talked on the show before about dating, and you're sitting there going, oh, my goodness, he hasn't messaged me back. It's just bullshit because he really led me on with blah blah blah. What do you want

That's where I struggle because all of my friends are affirmation friends, so I'm the one that isn't. So they come to me for that one thing that they need. Was I have to train one of my friends to be the anti affirmation friend for me.

Do you literally do am I the asshole? Like you know what I mean? So you'll be this guy isn't calling me or whatever it is, blah blah blah, tell me what I'm doing.

Yeah, and I'm the commenter. That's like the top comment way. Either tell them that the asshole or that they're not see Jesse.

The thing is, I know I'm the asshole. Yes, there's no doubt. If you think I don't have the self awareness to know that I am delusional most of the time, you're very wrong. I know that I'm not being fair right now in my venting. But there is so much argument and tension and conflict in my life generally like online, you know, disagreement, all that kind of stuff that when I'm sitting with my girlfriends and I start to unleash or I start to complain or talk about some story

So you know you're the asshole, which I think most people do, but I think that one friend quote unquote confirming it makes it real.

Yeah.

I don't really want that, and I want people do it.

I've sat there with a group of girlfriends and I've had one friend who's kind of like, Okay, let some I'm talking about work and they'll be like, well, yeah, your boss is probably like that because let me guess you're late or something. And I'm like, I don't need this kind of Saturday night, but you actually do.

You need one person to do that for you, because you need one person to have your best interest at heart. And that's all I am. I just care.

I find this very tricky because Jesse, you and I are similar in this way. I'm very sensitive to criticism, and I like to tell myself that the reason I am is because my self critic is ferocious. So I'm like, there's nothing that you guys are going to tell me that I don't already know that. Like, everything I'm doing is shit, and I'm doing a terrible job of everything, and I'm an idiot and I'm a terrible parent and I'm really bad writer and dah da da dah. So like, I don't need you to tell people.

What if I message both of you and I'm like, it's like two am. So you're both awake, just awake, you're not falling asleep, And I'm like, hey, guys, I'm doing something really crazy. I'm about to go over to a guy's house.

Oh no, I'll say no.

I think he has a girlfriend as well, but I just really really like him.

Oh no, no, I'll say no about that.

I agree, I would say no. We're sitting around at dinner on a Saturday night after you've done it. Yes, I am going, well, you know, but his girlfriends now, shit, that's what I'm doing because you've aready done it.

That is an important distinction because if it's for advice, explicitly, should I go over to his house? I'm going to tell you the truth. Okay, No, you shouldn't, and if you do, don't fucking come winching to.

Me about it.

But if you've done it, I am going to make you feel better about that decision. I'm going to be like, that's okay, babe. We all do stupid things. Something like I'm definitely affirmation.

And you don't think because if you say that, I'm going to be like, Okay, I've got approval. I can just do it again.

But I think people do what they want. I think I think that we pretend to ask for advice because otherwise it feels like we're just monologuing, which is what we are.

Sometimes I actually want advice. Sometimes I'll be like, what should I do about this? And then I'll listen to your advice and I'll probably ignore it, but I won't file it away somewhere and go, Okay, that's cool.

Same. I was actually reading something this week about something called the rage friend, and it was about how it's actually psychologically quite healthy to have a rage friend. And in fact, this writer her name is Annya Meyowitz, and she talked about how not only does she have a rage friend, but she has the rage chat with that friend, so over on the right here she can be talking about their plans for the weekend and then something enrages her and that only goes in the rage chat, so

I think affirmation friends can be rage friends, but I think if you're like me, an anti affirmation friend, you lose the right to be the rage friend. Like I noticed that my friends do stop venting to me because they know I'm just gonna come back with something to say.

You can to stop them in their tracks. I think she's not gonna get all the gossip.

No, you're fo but I do eventually get the gossip when it's blown out too much and they're like, am I actually?

Actually, I was thinking about why we've evolved into affirmation culture friend groups because I think it's probably never been truer than it is now. And I think that you struck on something before, Jesse, when you said the world

That, because there's something about affirmation culture that is socially and emotionally intelligent, right, which you're talking about too, is like you can tell when they just want you to agree, and women are very good at subtle cues. At going she just wants me not in smile and offered to buy her a drink, and then I will do that. But what women put up with a lot is blaming themselves or being blamed for situations that they find themselves in.

But like with the person who's not the affirmation friend, I think, like you said, they will pick that up. Yeah, and because they literally the only reason they're the anti affirmation friend is that because they just want the best possible outcome for you and if they know that you just need to be listened to, they will be that person.

And you know what it is, it's coming from good faith.

Yeah.

So it's like there's a lot of bad faith criticism and blame and everything going around, especially when it's a few you know, steps removed, like on the internet. But when you're coming from a good place, people can generally read that.

I think one of my guy friends showed me a group chat that him with other guys, like I think there was about five guys, and he showed me a screenshot of this message he sent the group chat when he broke up with his girlfriend, and he was like, hey, boys, just letting you guys know that me and blah blah have broken up just a bit down lately. Three hours later, one of the guys replied saying that sucks broke, and all the other guys just like that message.

That's like that.

I would be that that's like a.

Good material like Dolly Alderton book, where they're basically like there's a script that men follow too. In this way, if we're being stereotypical, which is like, oh, that sucks, bro we should go to the pub on blah and you know that and then we're not expecting to never hear about that again. But then I also think we've talked about this before. Often male friendship intimacy is characterized by constant sledging. Right, We're all good at that too

It is Friday, so we want to help set up your weekend with our best recommendations whole.

I'm going to recommend two makeup products today, and Jesse needs this recommendation as she's going to tell you about later in our Best and Worst session. I've spoken before on the show al though not phrages, about how my Holy Grail is foundations that aren't quite foundations, you know, like really goodble bases that are light.

Like a primer.

Well, no, not like a primer, like a tint because as you get older. I always remember some fancy makeup lady saying that one of the most age friendly things you could do for your skin is to even your skin tone right, because your skin tone goes all funny as you get older, and mine certainly is a hormonally patchy but heavy coverage. Not your friend settles in lines, cakes on, hard picks up it and all the texture

A thing, and good for summer too, very dewey.

Two good ones that I've been loving lately so hard that I'm on empties with them now. One of them you can buy a chemist warehouse. It's called Mavala. Mavala is a Swiss makeup brand and they're really famous for their nail polish. They sell it in tiny little bottles and it's really really good nail polish, it's true, So that's a siderecho. They're only about eight dollars too, those nail polishes BONSA. But they do this serum foundation that

Yeah, I get a bit shiny with a few of them. I'm a bit of a shiny goal so yeah, not great.

And the other one, which is a little bit more expensive, so I'm sorry everybody, but it is really good. Is Bare Minerals Complexion Rescue Skin perfecting tint. Right, so not really a foundation, a tint. But I bought this because on my constant hunt and Bar Minerals is a good brand. They do a really good concealer, and I was like, I'm going to try it, and I'm obsessed. I've been using it every day when I'm not using Mama Vala. I like to.

Mecca.

Yes it isn't Mecca. It's about sixty five dollars, so it is expensive, but it's really good. SPF thirty and again just that perfect mix of like making you glowy and even but not settling in all your lines and stuff. So not there's anything wrong with our lines. Fans I spoke to Gina Chick this week. She calls them our silver feathers. But we'll put the link.

You're looking, Chloe, I have a true crime documentary recommendation. So have either of you heard of the true crime documentary called The Jinx.

No, that sounds scary.

One thing that was very telling it Bob said. He said, all my life, I've had more money than I could spend, and it didn't make me hammy. She talked on the telephone with her husband, then she vanished.

And no one has seen Kathleen Durst since Durst.

Was wanted for murder in Texas.

It's a suspect for murders in Los Angeles, Westchester County, New York. He belongs to one of the richest families in New York City.

Might be a little eccentric.

I think Bob was very smart. I mean, he's managed to get away with three murders. I don't do true crime documentaries very often.

Well, it's widely considered to be one of the best true crime series ever made. It's like when people nowaday, Yeah, it is embarrassing. Actually, there was a season in twenty fifteen of this and the fust episode is mind blowing, probably one of the best, most twisty kind of episodes you could imagine in a true crime do.

What's it about?

So it's about a man named Bob Durst, and it begins with a body that's found in a river, and at first five minutes I was like, I'm not really in like, it's just this body and you don't really know who it is. Anyway, you learn pretty quickly that the key suspect is this guy named Bob Durst. But it turns out that's just not what the show is about. The show is about the fact that he is a multi multi multi millionaire. He's the heir to a real

Drops as the Jinx aired. Bob and I spoke after every episode. He was very nervous and I thought to myself, he's going to ry. My captain told me, whatever you do, don't let Robert Durst get away. Bob was going to flee the country, never to return, and of course that didn't happen. Hello, this is a prefat call from a.

Oh boy.

The documentary, the first one uncovered new evidence. This final scene in this first season was explosive, and that new evidence set a sort of president for a new trial. And the second season is all about this new trial. He sits there, it's during COVID. He's like cross examined, the genius in terms of like being a fly on the wall in a courtroom. It is outstanding. I think that Bob Durst himself was cross examined for something like

So I assume that obviously for people who are embarrassingly behind the times, like a night, we have to watch season one first.

Yes, and it doesn't feel like it was nine years ago. I watched it from the beginning. I think I watched all those years ago, but I'd forgotten, so i watched it from the beginning and now I've just finished season two. It's on Binge Brilliant called the Jinx.

Okay. I have a book recommendation. It is called Lies and Weddings by Kevin Kwan. He wrote Crazy Rich Agent. Yes, yes, it's so good, and I think he's kind of developing a universe because there's like characters from Crazy Rich Asians in this book. So if you read Crazy Rich Asians, I watched it, you know it's all just bad wealth, like the amount of wealth some people have. This one takes it to a whole new level. It's so good.

I'm not too sure that's part of the royal family.

One of them, and the mum is a former Hong Kong supermodel and they have three children, a boy and two girls who are now in their mid twenties late twenties. And the kid's job is to just marry rich into a wealthy family with the title, and it just goes through all of these like rich people things. I'm reading it on my kindle. Do you either of you use a kindle? You know how on a kindle? So on a kindle, sometimes it will give you suggestions on what

If it was to kill a mockingbird, like it would be the most brilliant quote that someone's kind of it's like they've underl in their book.

And I can show you in real life when I'm studying is.

That and I'll give you a suggestion. It'll be like twenty seven people have highlighted this suggestion.

See me that all these interviews I do where I read the books and I go through and underline things, I could just have them on a freaking kindle and I would only have to read the highlights. Is that what you're telling?

And you know what else you could do, Holly, is you could download your books and see.

What people what people are highlighting. So that tells you You'll be like, sixteen people have highlighted this phrase, so it's like, oh, you might want to pay attention to this one or highlighted yourself with this book. What I've noticed is that everything that people have been highlighting are just really rich words and no one really understands. So I know that highlighting them to google later. It is so funny. It's such a good book. I always pick it up in like the airport. It was like one

It's so good. Oh, Crazy Rich Asians is a bloody brilliant holiday book. So this sounds like it's amazing.

I've heard great things about this. For links to all our recommendations, make sure you sign up to the Mummere out Loud newsletter. You'll see averni she owns you get an insight into what's happening behind the scenes. There will be a link in the show notes.

One Unlimited out Loud access. We drop episodes every Tuesday and Thursday exclusively for Mamma Mia subscribers. Follow the link in the show notes to get us in your ears five days a week. And a huge thank you to all our current subscribers.

It's time for best and Worst. This is the part of the show where we share a little more from our personal lives. There is no judgment. Hi brow, lowbrow, Holly, what is your worst?

Okay, I've just realized I'm nervous about this worst because do you remember when we talked a few weeks ago about the woman who didn't love her cat anymore after she had a baby, and she wrote this very honest essay in the cut, and it has been.

So better to put a statement out, to put a statement out.

The trolling was so full on that they've had to put a statement out, being like, whoa, everybody, the cat's fine anyway. I've just suddenly got tingles around that because we went away last weekend and when we came home, you were a cat, HOLLI maybe when we came home Brent goes into got like this kind of room that's not quite part of the house, but it's part of that anyway. Whatever Brent goes into this room and he goes, oh, and I'm like, what one of the goldfishes died.

I didn't know you.

You've never made us the thing. I'd forgotten that we had goldfish.

Goldfish are quite big fish, though they were taking up a bit of real estate.

I have forgotten pretty much that next to Brent's computer in our living room, in a bit of the house that I don't go too much. And we don't live in a mansion, don't get me wrong, but anyway, we have a fish tank. We have two goldfish in there, and me and the children. Let's just be honest. Before we had dog, we used to really love our gold yeah, and then we had stick in sex we sort of loved them too, and we got our beautiful dog, Alvy. And now we've got our beautiful dog, Tuna. And it's

There another one?

There is this black one? And the kids go, I think that one's called I think it's called And I'm so really bad and poor Bread. I've been grieving the fish and every time I talked to him, sepping away up here this week a bit and I caught and he goes Midnight. We remembered what we called the black one. It's called Midnight. He's like Midnight's hanging in there, and me and the kids have to fade all this.

You can do it, Midnight.

How did I put the fish to rest?

You keep trying, how did you did you to admit?

How we put it in them. We would have buried it, but the dog would just dig it. Yeah, yeah, I could put it in the veggie bed. That might be good. But anyway, I'm sorry for all the goldfish lovers out there. That's my worst, terrible selfish people, and poor Brent is unsupported in his grief.

My best.

The outluders will not be surprised about this. I have never been tagged in a post on social media as much as on Sunday morning. I woke up and my dms were full, My mentions were full on Instagram because David Beckham, Oh my god, David Beckham. He posted a long, like ninety seconds or more long garden tour of his garden in his luxurious English country estate. Was it impressive morning, so.

Pretty impressive. Look at these spring onions, plum trees, plums are over now, I think. Then we've got all these amazing wildflowers that we have in the house that I've planted. Tell you what I'm doing very well over here, Kale.

Look at that.

Oh my god. He was wearing a flat cap. He introduced us to his chickens. Then he showed us all around and he showed me his cabbages, which are unbelievable, and the potatoes. And I've never really wanted to be rich. I mean, obviously, like everybody, I'd like to be comfortable and not have to worry about money and blah blah, but I've never been like, oh, I want a maserati

His bees, bees must be.

He has bees, he's making honey, he has chickens. He's making crisps with these potatoes. But that garden was so beautiful. And then the thing that made it my best was also Victoria Beckham, who I also adore, just commented like, who is this man? Can I please have my husband back? And those among us who feel misunderstood and our passion

Oh, I love it. And what's your worst?

Okay, My worst was having to go pick up my passport because I got a new passport photo we are You're going away. I'm going away at the end of the year, Singapore. So I did it really early, and it was kind of like one of the things where you could select whether it's sent to you, like to your home address, or whether you want to pick it up. And my mom told me to pick it up because she's scared that I would lose it or something will happen.

Had it?

And I have, So I have talked about this. I have this weird thing where I get really anxious doing public chores by myself because I don't want to get things wrong and I don't want people to laugh at me, like I don't want to like push a pulled off an example, oh that kind yeah, like really small things. So I when I do public chores by myself, I really have to plan it out in my head. It's so weird.

So you need like an errand friend.

Yeah, I need an errand friend. And it's when you do it on a weekday, it's really hard.

So what happened?

So I went I went to go pick up my passport and here's where things went wrong. I went to the post office. I meant to go to the passport office, so I lined up. I went to the post office and I was like, hey, I'm here to pick up my passport and he was like, what do you mean? And I was like, I literally talked to you, like, oh, you do not remember me? And he was like, no, you have to go to the passport office. And there was like heaps of people in the room. He's like,

Can you lull your voice?

Good girl?

And he was taken aback and then I was taken aback and then we boach just stood there in silence, and then I just went, got it, see ya, thanks so much, and then I left, went to the past. It was fine. I got my peace.

It was probably rude in his tone.

Yeah, he was just loud. It was allowed because I was like this friend, people are listening behind me. They're seeing this interaction happen. And I'm being very quiet and polite and demure. Yes, and he's going no, where the post office? Are you the post your voice?

I've look, I will say, and big love to post office workers who are listening right, like ninety nine percent of you. Great. There are the odd post office workers who when they have to correct your passport form and tell you that you've made an error, they enjoy it.

They do.

There's a look in there and they.

And then they can be. Others are watching as well. They're like, oh, I watch this go down exactly.

I've been burned and so I respect you saying please lower your voice, sir, you're man explaining how to pick up my passport?

Can you go pick it up? How is the photo anyway?

Oh?

I looked amazing because she did pay extra for We discussed this on Monday Show. If no one has listened, we had a little guest appearance pop in to tell us about how she'd made sure her passport photo was hot. Were you hot?

Yeah?

Yeah, yeah, really good.

And also the new Australian passport looks really good as well. Yeah, it's really nice.

What's your best?

My best is last week I went on a for mill, which is how would you explain a for mill?

Like, it's a free trip, so you have to write about it. That's what a famill is.

I went to Hawkesbury Valley the Crown Plaza, and I told my mom because it was the day of her birthday daughter, and we had the best day. We went there. We did a cocktail class, we got a bit tipsy, we had dinner. We shared a hotel room, and it was one of those moments where like, I think my parents and my grandparents kind of struggle to realize what I do for work. They don't really get it.

Well, that's because you get to do things like that and that doesn't seem like work.

It's so true until we're like at dinner and out loud. It's like, hey, I've listened to you on out loud, and then my dad full freaks out. He's like, get a photo with her, get a phone. I'm like, I'm not asking her for a photo. That's a bit weird. But it was like at dinner, like she was a bit tipsy, so I'll give it that. So I'm not sure if this is authentic or not, but I just saw like she like was like, oh, you're in a place, like she just kind of Oh, you've done something. I'm proud, Yeah, proud,

My worst is that on Sunday morning, I had like a lunch thing had to go to and I was like, oh, I better go put some makeup on. Couldn't find a bag anywhay, So go to the car. I'm like, I remember I left it in my front seat. I open it and I'm like, what has happened to my car? And it has been like upended pig sty like everything from the console and the glove box had been taken out, which is different to your normal car slightly, which was interesting because I wasn't the first one to look at

Oh, but your car got broken into. But then what I asked, it broke it into? She said, can you break it to something that isn't locked?

According to insurance companies, it's so I had left that a little bit unlocked and the only thing they'd taken was my makeup bag, the only thing, the only thing, and there was nothing of it.

But that would have been the most expensive thing.

It's Honestly, it has really ruined my life because I, like Holly, I don't have aspirations to be rich. I don't have designer bags, don't have fancy clothes. Makeup is my one thing that I care about. And there would be a Bronzer from twenty fifteen.

Yeah, you're like, it doesn't like I can't get it again, so I have to say favor it.

And like, I got this incredible palette from the last time I was in the US, and I had every It's a really big bag and it had like all my eyeshadows and brushes and foundation and oh. I then had to go to this launch and it really threw a spanner in my weekend. I had to go to Mecha Sephora all of it with Luna that afternoon, and it was such a shit shopping trip as well, because it wasn't fun. It was like, no, I genuinely just made an eyebraps.

Meant to be fun.

It's meant to be fun. And I bought like just the week before, like Charlotte Tillbury mascara that I've never even been able to use, So pray for me.

That's an expense problem. And also going and Buying all makeup at once brings you very close up to just how.

No one should know, but you should be able to get your make a loop box soon.

Then every time I spent something, I was like, I swear I should get a gift, like I robbed. I deserve free things. My best is that I got my hair done last week and you know someone's coming, it's getting warm, and my hairdresser said, do you want to try the scandy hairline? I think I've seen this on.

That what's a scandy hairline trend?

Holly? I just feel like you could be into it. So I had seen it on TikTok, but I didn't think I.

Was cool enough. He keeps talking about scandy things. She keeps saying, I'm doing like scandy style. I'm like, what is she talking about?

Do you mean Scandinavian?

Yeah, I got that bit. I'm like, okay, anyway, contain yourself.

She's talking about either I just interesting. But what it is basically is they get all your baby hairs and your hairs at the front, like and I've got a lot because postpart and they paint them and bleach them basically, and it looks very kind of Nordic Scandinavian. It almost looks more blonde and more natural and more sun kissed

It does look very nice.

It looks really good fresh, you know how like Ballyage was in for a while where it was like your darker roots or whatever, but she just nailed it. And I actually love going to the hairdresser at the moment because it's four hours and.

That looks nice. I couldn't do that. I look crazy, but.

I have dark brown hair and now I have a light fringe.

It would be very Friends, you know that our best and worst is our chance to be frivolous and silly. Please jump in the out Louders group and tell us what your best and worst of the week have been. And that is all we have time for today and

And before we go. If you watch the presidential debate on Wednesday like we did, or maybe you didn't, you just want a debrief, then yesterday's subscriber episode, Holly Maya and Absolute expert Amelia Lester did a deep dive. Here's a little taste.

Can I just share my cynical for on vit Taylor endorsement. The timing was pretty interesting to come out immediately after the debate. I think to some extent, stole Kamala Harris's thunder and what was a sort of resounding victory in the debate. It just made me wonder would she have sent that Instagram had Kamala Harris not done so well in the debate. Was she waiting to check that she wasn't backing a dud?

Oh my god, that's literally what Jesse said, and I was like, absolutely not.

Like, first of all, there is a link to that episode in the show notes.

See ya.

Why shout out to any mum and mea subscribers listening If you love the show and you want to support us, Subscribing to MoMA Mia is the very best way to do so. There's a link in the episode description