"I'm Looking For A Man In Finance"

You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast.

Mamma Mere acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast is recorded on Hello and welcome to Mama Mia out Loud and to our Friday show where we take a deliberate step back from the news Today. Friends, It's Friday, the twenty first of June.

I'm Hollywayne, right, I'm Me Friedman.

And I'm in Vernon filling in for Jesse today. Last one. Can't wait for her to come back. I'm tired of talking to you guys.

Oh you need more days off? I get the flu again.

We'll just sign off on it before we get started on the show today. And what was your favorite conversation from the Spill this week?

My favorite conversation from the Spill this week is probably earlier in the week. We talked about Nikola cock When did you see her Skims campaign?

Yes?

I did.

We talked about that as well as the entire big brand machine of Skims in general, and we also talked about Armie Hammer's return in the wood again.

Yeah, he lit a bit of you know what's funny about Nicola Coglan, who we talked about on Monday's show. I was thinking that the difference in the way she's being portrayed, even in this Skins campaign, it's through the male gaze, which you know, I don't usually like when you are subverting beauty standards and the beauty standards that tend to be very limited as she is.

I actually think that's what makes it refreshing.

I don't even think of that. Yeah, but she did look stunning in the loundre that body Congress.

I bought it.

She looked, did you buy it?

Well, I'm on the wait list.

Did Nichola Cocklin make you buy it?

Holly who was on Mid this Week?

Look on Mid this Week we had a conversation about death. Yes, there you go, just throwing it out there, the messages I've got this week about this episode. So we had doctor Jackie Bailey on. She is an interfaith minister, a funeral celebrant, and what's called.

A death walker is that like a death dueler.

It's kind of like a death dueler. They walk with the dying and also the dying people's people. And the other thing that's amazing about Jackie is that she herself has had a lot of loss in her life, so she just has this really very empathetic but very no bullshit attitude to it. And so we have this conversation that you might imagine would be really heavy and sad, and of course it's serious, but the way that she can talk about it, she finds some lightness, she finds

You know how I've been banging on about the seven different types of rest everyone needs, and.

I've been making you all talk about it.

I finally tracked down the person who came up with the concept. She's a doctor, doctor Sondra Dalton Smith, and she talked about what the seven different.

Types of rest are.

She talked about how we burn energy in those seven different ways mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, socially and creatively.

Oh there's one more.

What kinds of things restore our energy? Like what rest looks like because it's not just about stopping doing something or if you're physically tired, then obviously you need to stop running a marathon and have a sleep or get more sleep, but all the other areas, sometimes it can be starting to do something that can make you feel more rested.

So it's such an interesting conversation.

We'll put links to all of our other shows and those episodes in the show notes.

But on today's show, are you looking for a man in finance? Six foot five blue eyes? If you don't know what I'm talking about, you will in a minute. Also a movie that's way more than a movie, a TV show with lots of sex that isn't bridgeton and an airworm banger of a song. And My time as a boomer? Why mea is counting down until Sunday and that time and bumped.

Into three x's in one night.

Welcome to best and Worst, But first, Mere Friedman.

In case you missed it, there's a name for that thing that some of us do, which is sending your friends or family popping in the group chat memes, funny videos or links, and it's called pebbling. The term pebbling comes from penguins, because did you know that penguins will gift pebbles to potential.

Mates and that from good Luck Chust. Yeah.

I follow Adam Grant on Instagram and he's like a productivity, emotional, psychological person and.

He posted about it.

He's a science author as well, and he says pebbling is an act of care and every pebble is a bid for connection. And to me this was an absolute lightning bolt because that is how I show care. It's very different to when you post something on social because I don't think that's a bid well. I guess it's a bid for some kind of connection. But that can be about virtue signaling, it can be about attention seeking.

This is another one of those conversations with having a go at me about my inactivity in group chats.

Oh it's you, No, it's one hundred percent not Holly. It's a thousand percent not Holly. It's because Hole and I and Jesse and I and my closest girlfriends not actually not all of my close girlfriends, a lot of my girlfriends. We do have that pebbling. That's how we kind of stay connected. But then I've got other people who just I'll pop a pebble and it's not that we don't talk about things, but they won't then.

Reciprocate with a pebble of their own, or a.

Comment or a thumbs up or an opinion about the pebble that I've left.

Maybe you're pebbling wrong.

It's like they left my pebble and red definite left.

Pebble on red.

Because I think that's two ways of pebbles. So you pebble by like sending memes and stuff that you think are funny. But I don't like those pebbles. I want them to send me stuff that they know I think will be funny.

That's the idea, though, that's the right idea, right, No, But sometimes you.

Get pebbles from people who they're like, I saw this funny thing, you must like it too, But I'm like, no, I want my pebbles.

To be so that means just that they don't know you.

Yeah, and I want the pebbles to be like something that you've listened to what I said, Oh, I reminded you of something, and it's so specific, like and they need to be really specific to me.

You want a very tailored, customized bid for connection.

Yeah.

I feel like those pebbles are like being flung at my face and.

It's likely doesn't like it.

It's like a demand for all the time. You're like, what if I don't have a minute.

No, you don't have to necessarily react to that pebble in that moment or anything. But it's more just the general idea of pebbles and also whole our whole work is pebbles, Like that's our whole relationship is pebbles. So you are You've been defensive here and insecure, I think.

But I'm also speaking for the people who don't like an interruption that group chats and things bring to their lives and that those people exist.

I get it. No, No, I think that's fair enough.

I'm just asking for a haha.

Is it too much? Too hah? I need to play you all something. It is apparently one of the songs of the American summer. It all started with this young woman called Girl on Couch. And I know that people used to have names people. I know that people used to have real names. And indeed, Megan Bonnie is her real name, and she's a TikTok person. And a while ago she set the internet a challenge.

Here it is, I'm looking for a man in finance trust fund six fire blue eyes finance trust fund six fire blue eyes, and looking for our man, and looking for our man, and looking for looking for looking for looking at fine out trust fune sixth five eyes.

Quite like to trust.

So she she just did that. See I would send that to someone of the pebbles. So she did that and would.

And then she said, DJs, do your thing, have fun with it, and oh my god, did they ever. This is what happened. Here is a mashup of some of the remixes of Girl on Couch.

I'm Looking for a Man in Finance Trust done six five blue eyes, fine uce trust fun six five blue Eyes.

Some of the biggest DJs in the world, including David Genner, have remixed that song, played it at festivals, and now suddenly.

It is huge. That's so funny.

Now I'm interested in this. I agree, this is what it's for. I love what the internet's actually for. She missed out on a trademark, she really did, But I'm interested in this statement. I'm looking for a man in finance. Six ' five blue eyes, I just have fun things. Is very tall, very tall because because they can't see their faces, that's why so attractive. The thing is girl

For a man in finance, and also Lady Featherington's looking for rich men for her daughters exactly.

And it also feels part of an ongoing conversation that we've been having about what women want on certain times. On Monday, we talked about how in an ever more expensive world, young women have almost zero chance of being able to earn their way into financial security and or success by themselves. On Wednesday, we talked about daddy energy, this idea of women wanting a protective, manly man, and how that apparently the thing we want at the moment,

No, I wouldn't ask the bank statements and pay slips, the receipts. I think that's too much. I would show them mine willingly. I think that's kind of fun and funny. But I wouldn't. I wouldn't ask them.

But I'm looking for a man in finance.

The subtext, of course, is that if he works in finance, he's rich, yes, or will become rich.

I am embarrassed to admit that I am appealed by the idea of having a man who earns a lot more than I do.

Did you say you're embarrassed by that?

Yeah?

Why?

Because I think it makes me sound like that I can't dane myself as an individual, and I just want to give it to some man to do it for me.

Why can't both things be true? They can't be true.

Why can't you want someone who is rich along with other things? Presumably, but that doesn't mean that you don't necessarily want to work or become rich yourself, because.

I think it just makes me sound so superficial is the word you look there?

It is.

I'm shallow. But since this has gone viral, I feel more open about talking about it because there's something when a woman and I've been following this TikToker for a

But what are we talking about? This type of man? It's a type of Yeah, so let's just give a comparison. So if a guy did a TikTok I'm looking for a supermodel six foot.

He might be saying I'm looking for a woman in finance six foot, blue eyes.

You're absolutely right, blue eyes. Would we hate that? Would we say that superficial? Probably we would. But what's to say.

They can't also be smart, funny, someone you're in love with. What's to say you can't also have a love match with the person who is rich. I've been watching a lot of Bridgeston.

The thing is about this is that by putting man in finance, which is code, it's code for a couple of things. It's obviously code for lots of money, but it's also code for it is a particular works in finance, who wears the sharp suit? Who is the guy who works in finance?

Right?

I totally understand what she means when she says.

That you're not horny for a guy in finance. If I have a dated one, Oh my god. No.

The The reason why M feels shallow by saying that is if you are looking for a live partner and money is at the top of the list, that is shallow. Unquestionably, I think.

It's not as simplistic or black and white as that.

I think that if you look at the idea of financial security as opposed to I'm looking for a guy with a drug problem.

But that's not fair because you're setting the world up as if there are rich guys and there are losers, and there is a whole massive spectrum.

No, no, I agree. I agree.

And what you're saying is that if they're her top three qualities that she's looking for.

And I know this is a joke, but when you're as like it's in the water.

This is in the water, right, Whereas Jesse has talked a lot of times on the show about how she made a list when she'd had a lot of relationships and I can't remember the actual order, but on it was funny, likes dogs, smart, I think was on there kind kind and she said that's what she found in her now husband. I think that what we're looking at is a romanticizing of being taken care of.

Yes, one hundred percent.

So it's like, has feminism gone too far?

Has it made women fantasize about not having to lean in and being a lady boss actually being able to be a trad wife Because we've seen this fetishization of the trad wife rise up online as well, and everyone watching this content, oh my dream is to be a trad wife, and they've made it look so sexy and lovely. Is it all just a reaction to we've made so many strides, but now we feel like we're doing two jobs one hundred percent?

It is that.

So I think that this is very much part of the whole trad wife, soft girl, soft life thing. Is that it is really really hard to be financially independent. It's really hard to support a family, it's really hard to be paying the mortgage by yourself. All those things are really hard, right, and a lot of us have no choice. Of women have no choice. What these women are saying is that if they could choose, they would

Yeah?

Yeah, see there you go. Yeah that's interesting.

But it also comes to just like that initial part of dating where when you date someone who you know makes either the same amount of money as you or more, it takes that like weight off your chest, because I think a symptom of finding someone you like is also really expensive because if you really like someone, you're in a day, you want to buy more drinks, you want to hang out with them more, and the money just adds up. And there have been times where I'm.

Like, going for a walk in the park, how free?

How far can you walk? You can walk?

And they have to eventually get dinner. Dating doesn't have to cost it does have to cost money at some point if you want to spend a lot of time with that person, especially in the beginning.

Two minute noodles and lots of sex.

Anyway, go on.

There have been times I've been on dates where I really like them, but I'm like, I can't financially support dating you.

It is not because.

You have to pay for everything, and I can't afford to pay for anything.

And I have like I like nice things, like I want to go out to dinner, I want to get wine.

But is that about wanting an equal because like you, you know, you earn money, so you're like, I want someone who is an equal partner, or you're saying I want somebody rich rich.

I want someone who's either equal or more rich than me.

You know they do you judge that? And it's entirely typical of women on dating apps. That are all these surveys that say that women want either financial equals or so in the class spec I mean this class isn't the right word, actually, but socioeconomic status. They will date across and up, and men will date all the way, all the way around that spectrum.

They don't tend to date up, will they They will date in all directions, but they're very comfortable dating across and down, and they may or may not depending on the guy, like feel comfortable dating up. Isn't there a good reason for that whole Because if you think pragmatically about the fact that, Okay, if I want to have kids, we'll probably need to incomes. I'll have to have time

But isn't it just sort of pragmatic.

It's very pragmatic.

It's just not romantic.

My issue with it is and this is a values thing. This is back to Jesse's list, right, the idea that I want somebody rich to take the pressure off me. I understand it. I certainly understand it. As a woman with a lot of financial pressure on her. It's hard. But that's how men have always felt. But men, you know, I want all the equality, please, I want all of it.

Men don't do all the other stuff that women do when they become mums. They don't do like that mental load stuff they can if you make. The least they could do is pay for some things.

But I think that's true. Like, this is what I would always advise somebody. I mean, obviously, if that's very high on your list, like I want a big house, I want three holidays a year, I want whatever whatever whatever, then sure, right? And I used to work with a woman who said, you would say to me exactly what

There's something called the Sprinkle Sprinkle movement, which prioritizes financial stability and dating. This is kind of like, you know, the finance bro is an example of that, but it was sort of started by this woman called Sheer seven. She makes these long YouTube videos and she's become a bit of a cult figure. And the Sprinkle Sprinkle movement encourages women to live the soft life and be like soft girls, and it's very retro in which they prioritize

And to me, this is kind of the same. And is it saying the quiet part out loud?

It is if you want a certain kind of life. Like the thing that I struggle with about this is I want to be an equal partner in my world. Right personally, I would find it very hard to put my hand out for money, like from a partner. Do you know what I mean to be like, I need this for me to buy a hambag.

Of course, he terribly vulnerable.

It's terrible financial advice because it makes you dependent on somebody.

A man is a financial plan and then and that.

Man might be particularly if he is an alpha, you know, hyper successful dude. He might not be the loveliest person. And what I know, deep in my heart. And I know I sound pollyannor about it. Is what will make you happy is being with a good person. Of course, lots of good people are rich. I'm not saying that I find this so icky because it's like, my daughter listens to a lot of rap music, right, and we'll be in the car, and every woman that is being talked about on a lot of this stuff is she

Of gold digger.

Oh yeah, literally the gold digger. And I thought that one of the great things about being able to make our own way in the world is that we didn't have to do that anymore, settle for a guy who might buy us shit but who wasn't a very nice person, or who might treat us like one of their objects

But I don't think that's what most young women want, Like I think the Sprinkle Sprinkle Lady is showing the extreme. She's saying, find a rich man so your life can be easier, whereas I'm saying, I want someone like you, like equal to me, because I don't want someone who will make my life harder, Like I don't want it to be easier, but I also don't want it to

I've got a lot of gen X friends whose teenage daughters will troll them, like when you know they're asked, what do you want to be? What do you want to do after school? And They're like, nothing, I just want to get a sugar daddy own exactly. It's sugar daddy like their feminist mothers are like stop it, yes, stop trolling me.

I say to my daughter all the time, like, you have got to earn your own money, like for me, and I guess that speaks to my values, right, Like independence is very high on my list. Earn your own money is very high on my list. I find this whole thing although it's funny and I love it, and the songs a banger, and it's also I'm like, no, you're not looking for a guy in finance. You're looking for a guy who shares your dreams and aspiration.

But also from like supports your career and supports your career, but also from being with men who have earned less than me. From my experience, they also don't like that I earn more than them. I think they get a complex of dating someone who earns more than them.

Which goes into the thing of I don't think guys do date up very often. I don't think they date across or down because it's a.

Power thing for them.

Only weak insecure man feel that way, like a proper, proper, confident human can deal with the idea that a woman can earn more money like it's so retro, I feel like, and it can't be an accident. So much of particularly American culture at the minute, is trying to pull us back somewhere. It's trying to pull us back to a more conservative time. And there's no question that some of that is easier in inverted commas on the surface, except it's not because it traps you, like it traps you

It's all because feminism has just gone too farther. Should never have made us wear pants and have the vite.

This is what's happened clearly this month.

Mumma Mia turned seventeen. We know birthdays aren't all that exciting when they're not well your birthday, there aren't enough presents, So we want to take this as a chance to give you a treat and say thank you for being on the ride with us.

Right now, you can get twenty dollars off a yearly Mumma me a subscription with.

The code out Loud Birthday.

The offer is valid till the end of June, and you will find all the details of how to do that in the show notes. Enjoy, my friends.

It is Friday today, so we are here to help you set up your weekend by giving you all of our recommendations. Fully, you have a really good one today.

I do.

I took my kids the movies on Saturday at the earliest opportunity to see Inside Out too.

This is joy coming you live in Riley's mind, makes them no.

In, no.

Tanger me out.

Of We gotta get our mouth guard.

People hear sounds not hellus discussed glad to have her on our team. Our little girls growing up so fast Out.

It should be nothing but smooth sailing from Hello.

I'm anxiety. Where can I put myself? It's a kids movie. It's a sequel to Side Out Surprise Surprise A long time, really long time because at the end of the first.

One, I don't understand this.

At the end of the first one, it was so set up for the sequel when they're like, don't press the poor Barty button. She's entering Pooberty, and it was like, Oh, it's going to be such a good sequel.

Forgot about it.

I know, Well, it's here and the puberty button is pushed. It is so good, and it's not only good because it is a good movie, right, you know. It's got Amy Pohler is the Leader's joy again. It's got an amazing cast. As far as the movies you can all watch together if you've got a family, Go Inside Out

And if I love that so anthropomorphizes emotions.

That's very It's so great. I always remember when Inside Out came out that someone was saying about Pixar how it was like, what if monsters had feelings? What if toys had feelings? And then this series is what if feelings have fit? I love that it turned out too. It's in all good movie theaters now.

My recommendation is a song and it's just an Earworms song.

Is it looking for a Man in Finer?

It is now, but it's.

Actually Please Please Please, Sabrina Carpenter's new song, which is also her hard launch of her relationship with Barry Kyogan, who was in Sultburn. You might have seen the clip. Here's a little bit of the tune, ask him.

Baby, please please Please don't prove.

I do love it.

The clip is her in jail and then he comes into jail and as she's been released on bail, and they lock eyes. And then my line that I like the most is I'm begging don't embarrass me, motherfucker.

Especially because that's her real life boyfriend, and telling it to him in the music video while she.

Suddenly ever, I look.

She supported Taylor for part of this tour. She supported her in the Australian leg, and I sort of heard of her, but I didn't really know.

Is she next Disney Start? I don't really. She's a tiny little She's like a pollypocket. I had a bloody Bumbshell yeah, I thought she was wearing a wig. She's like a if you put.

Pamela Anderson, who was already tiny, but like, remember we used to put chip packets in the oven and they used to shrink down.

She's like that. She's like a little shrinky Pamela had fun.

When we were kids.

Generation even a man in finance.

We didn't have to leave us alone. And so she's like this little hot little thing. But she's kind of cute hot, she's not. Yeah, she's very anyway.

It's a it's a good bop. I think it's a good bop.

I've got a bit of a dark wreco this week. So over the weekend I went to a premiere for a new show that's out on stand. It's called Exposure.

What brings you to til funeral?

Friend?

What happened over there? It's I think she was seeing some guy?

What makes you think of?

You know? A whole bunch of calls from someone she's saved as do not message.

She's the guy from Girls Phone.

I want to know what he did.

I've watched the first three episodes and it is so good. It's led by an all female team, so the director, producer, creator, and leader all women. It's very dark and it has some thriller elements to it. So the series follows this young woman named Jax who's in her twenties and she experiences some sort of traumatic event, and the creator Lucy describes it as kind of a burning rage towards men, but also a desperation to be validated by them at

I've heard about this, yes, Jennifer Cundley is amazing. She's kind of one that you don't hear about much. She's phenomenal when you see her in a movie. She's like an actor's actor.

And she's also in Dark Matter, which is our Apple TV also Good Wreck. But yeah, she's amazing. So the series just kind of follows her investigating this traumatic event that happened to her. A lot of men, there's a lot of sex. It's really dark, but highly recommend. It's out on Stan.

Out loud as if you want to listen to us every day of the week, and why wouldn't you, You can get access to exclusive segments on Tuesdays and Thursdays by becoming a MoMA mea subscriber. Follow the link in the show notes to subscribe, and a big thank you to all our current subscribers.

It's time for our best and Worst Moments of the week, where we take a little bit of a reflection on our personal lives and look at some personal highs personal lows from the week, no judgment.

I'll start with my worst. It's the rule.

I'm missing Lunar. I'm missing her so much. When a baby is away, it's a long chunk in their.

Life, Like it's three weeks.

It'll be three weeks when I see her next, which'll be on Sunday, meeting up. All the videos that I get sent and everything, and I just I'm worried she won't remember me and won't love me anymore, and that our bond will be broken.

Of course it won't your grandma.

I just feel like maybe she won't anyway.

And what about Jesse? Do you miss all of them or just my son's back?

But do you know who I also miss is my daughter is now actually with Jesse. My daughter's gone to Europe for a big after school trip, and she landed in Paris and then went straight to meet up with Jesse and Claire and their babies, and and yeah.

What would happen if they fly in on Saturday? Night, and then Jessica says, Oh, we're just too tired. Do you mind if we don't? Can't tomorrow?

I'll just be anyway.

I'll be like, oh the babies, gently like, don't be there at three to take her. I just miss her so much. And apparently now she can say nana. I'm very excited about that, except I don't think she has any idea what that means. My best this week is the funny best. I cried in a No Filter interview, and I think I've only done that maybe two or three times in eight years. And the reason that it was my best is because it's really exciting to feel

I'm just really.

Having a moment where I'm just leaning in to No Filter again. And this interview. I did three hours of No Filter interviews in half a day, and it was a lot. Yeah, and they were completely different interviews. I just was so engaged and I just loved them.

Are you gonna tell us who made you cry? Yeah?

So her name's Darcy Erlick. The name might be familiar someone I've wanted to interview for about ten years. She was abused by Malkalafa, who was the principal at a very religious girls school in Melbourne, and she fought to have her extradited from Israel back to Australia for ten years or more. She's now in jail and talking to Dussy,

I was crying at the end, and if they were happy tears.

Yeah.

So I can't wait for you to hear that it's going to be in a couple of weeks. I'll keep you posted.

My worst is related to my recommendation. So when I was excited as Brent's been away and me and the kids were like, that's our outing on Saturday, as we're going to go see Inside Out and then ge Dumplings. That's so happy place, Dumblanks obviously, So I just booked the first session that was available at the movie theater nere Us. And what I didn't see is that it was the like little kids session where they have and this is amazing that they have this right, but I

Right. Yeah.

I'm just like, now I've got no tolerance anymore for the little children running around, and I'm just like, why can't they sit down? Why can't they just be quiet? And for children? And Billy are like that you are? Do you know?

That's interesting because I'm going to retract what I said about either have a playground or a movie.

I think that if you've got more than one kid.

It's expensive to go to the movies, right, so if you have to get a babysitter or find childcare for the kid that's maybe too little to sit through the whole thing, and then your older kid really wants to sit through the whole thing.

It's actually I think it's.

A great idea. It's just not a good idea once your kids harder than four. If the error was yours, the error was one hundred three percent mine. As my children were still letting me know.

They would love to be telling you I told you so oh so much, and that thing is Matildad could tell I felt really bad about it, and she was trying to make me feel better about it, and she's like, it's not that bad, Mum.

I can still hear the movie, mom, whereas Billy was like glaring at me, like you're an idiot.

It was great anyway on the slide in the minute didn't but I was quite tempered, and you.

Recommended the movie, so you.

My best was.

I got to be a boomer for a night last week. We're very rock and roll in our house. Brent and I go to pub trivia every two weeks at our local pub around the corner. It's our date night. That's what we do. We have two drinks, we play a round of trivia. We're up there, right, and our nemesiss in that pub trip are called the Baby Boomerangs and they are boomers right.

What's your team name?

Two brains, one pen. That's what we're called smart and so the Baby Boomerangs are our Nemesisicatus is right. Anyway, Brent was away, he's been in New Zealand for a week, sees out, and the Baby Boomerangs offered a hand to me and said do you want to come to trivia anyway and join our team for the night. And I was like, that's so nice, and yes I do, thank you. I want to get out of the house. And so I went and I joined their team. And the thing that was so great about it, Mia is that we won.

Right.

The Boomerang's very smart. They know lots of things, but they're not very good at celebrities, not very good in gossip. This is where I am shy. The final round comes, we are neck and neck with the table next to us. Who there are nine of them, and one of my baby boomers thought that was a violation.

Of the rules.

But anyway, we digressed.

They had a holly.

So the last round was photographs of celebrities when they were children. No, I got ten out of ten easily. I just grabbed the piece of paper. I said, move over, this is my round. I filled it in. We got ten.

We won well the photos and black and white some of them. That's whole other level.

And we could have been pixelated and she still smashed it.

We won, got the baby boomerangs over the line, and now my status in my community is high.

That's a big slave.

Good breads out of and bred need never come back, come back. I don't need him anymore. And best and worst.

So my worst was in one single night, I ran into three xes.

That's a lot.

Where were you?

I was at that stand event that was also part of my reco So I was at the stand event. It was part of the Sydney Film Festival, so there was a lot of people, so a lot of people could also buy tickets to watch the film. And as we were walking into the cinema, one of my exes was walking out of the previous one. Big surprise because he the reason we broke up was because he told me he was moving to Japan, so obviously no, he was very much not in Japan.

Jo.

He was at the Sydney Film Festival and we were like, oh, I Like what.

Motherfucker? He said, I in Japan.

Japan looks great on you.

He was like no.

No, I said, I wanted to get Japanese food, and.

Then you ghosted me.

No.

I was with a head of Entertainment Laura Brodney, so I hid behind her because she's very tall, so he didn't see me. And then we went and found our seats. It was assigned seating unfortunately, so we had to sit in our seats. And then I was looking over and I was like that guy looks really familiar, and he was like approaching. I had sex with him, and he was another ex boyfriend who I dated in my early twenties. He sat directly in front of me director Hello. No,

When's the third one?

Third one was after the event, I went to a friend's party and my ex was at that part. I was except he was like kind of an expected run in because I knew he was invited, But when I saw I was like, so ago the Joseph Christmas Path. I feel like it couldn't even be a sitcom because it's too much.

Going back to the japan one, Yeah, you clearly haven't been following him in social media, Like were you not curious to see how it turned out in Tokyo?

No, because I really really liked him, and it would like hurt every time I would look at his social So I even told him. I was like, Hey, I'm just gonna unfollow you because this is too much for me. It's smart, and he was like thank god, because I'm not actually.

Now go through with that elaborate.

Japan Oh, I'm not so great. What's your best?

My best was actually the house party I went to afterwards because it was his massive house party. I always thought I was a bit too old for house parties, but I was like one of the other ones there's but I had so much fun. It was my best because in the whole situation I was in seeing my ex'es and the week massive house party I usually get quite tipsy at those kind of events because it's like alcohol,

They're back, so it's back.

So I haven't been drinking the whole week. And then I just kind of like stayed a bit sensible because I've since I've gotten older and started to really value my Sunday time.

Yes, and I just want It's one of the first signs you're growing up, Like I don't want to ruin the whole day.

And I was like, ah, I have like to do my washing at ten because I have them too busy during the week in my washing. So I ended up not drinking as much and I had a really nice Sunday and it was like the first time where I feel like I've stepped back from alcohol.

Good for you. Yeah, Look, she's mid before her time.

Was there any finance guys there?

There weren't any finance guys there. If there were, I would have been a bit drunk.

Am I have a question for you before we go. Have you had of the term mattress since when you think of becoming a mother one day, if indeed you would like to or not.

Do you imagine that.

It would change you or do you think it freaks you out that it would change you?

Does it change you?

Surely not?

Oh my god, doesn't happen?

And then yesterday's episode Holly changes everything.

Both with jem of Bath who has been a mother for eighteen months, about the concept of mattressence and that is like adolescence, but what happens to you and your identity after you have kids.

Here's inside out three yes say, oh my god.

First it was pubitty and now it should be make matt trescence. Riley can skip ahead a little bit.

Here's a little sneak peak.

Of the chat. Did having a baby change your lives?

One hundred percent? Isn't that the point?

Exactly?

Going through birth was a real kind of light bulb moment for me because I learned so much about my body. And then when it comes to relationships, nothing tests more than a baby. We know that I see women having almost an existential Oh my god, who even am I? And men just don't like their lives are very different and they really love this baby and they might have to make sacrifices and everything but who they are as an individual is not something that changes in the same

We're done for the week. We are done for the week. Thank you em Vernon for being an absolutely excellent standout for stand in, not stand out, a standout stand in for Jesse Stevens. We have loved having you around. I know the outlouders have to thank you to all our out louders for lending us sure is. This episode was produced by Emmalin Gazillis. The assistant producer was Charlie Blackman, and there's been audio production from Leah Porge's. And we will see you all next week. By by.

Shout out to any Muma Mia subscribers listening.

If you love the show and want to support us as well, subscribing to mom and Mia is the very best way to do so. There is a link in the episode description.