Do I Matter? & The Bathroom Taboo

You're listening to a Mom with mea podcast.

Welcome to Mummy out Loud.

What women are actually talking about on Friday, the sixth of February.

I am Jesse Stevens, I'm am Vern m.

And I'm backbitches, but just for today, just I'm Mayor Friedman and I've got a new show and it launched this week. So I thought I would lock holy in a cupboard and come and tell you about it.

Smile idea.

Here's what's on our agenda for today, A crisis of Mattering. There is a new book out that I think will be as influential as Mel Robbins's Let Them Theory, and it will change how you think about your life.

Plus good news, Valentine's Day is actually not the saddest day for single people. Bad news, there's a day that's much much worse.

And there's recos because it's Friday. And spoiler alert, I'm going to tell you about my hair tintl.

Of course you are the sixth I've got your life.

We'll love it.

I've got an update on my hair tin so you're gonna be happy.

But first, may go on tell us about your new show, your new projects.

I'm in my producer era, So who brought you that?

How did you get that?

I got this hat made out louder, says producer, and I was like, I need to buy a.

Thing past me in the office with that on. And I muttered to no one all the gear and no idea, like yes, that's how I felt, because I think you were also wearing dark clothes.

Wearing this black app Okay, I'm not joking. This was my favorite outfit on you. It was like a charcoal T shirt, like dark charcoal jeans and then your little pink added ass.

Yeah, that was my one little gi I love that to my son.

I think she wear that more often.

Out louders I ignored, is like, absolutely nice, both of you shut up.

I launched a show this week.

It's something that I've been working on for about a year on and off, and it's a show for women kind of over forty. Although younger people have been listening and laughing a lot. It for women over forty who want to laugh right now because it's a lot out there right in our lives and in the world.

And why aren't you hosting it?

You've hosted a podcast or two in your time.

I have, and also I work for free because it's my business. But last year I moved away from the mic. I wanted to have a bit of a different life and I don't want to be like out Loud is the show that I'm on and the show that I want to be on right with my girls.

I wanted to.

Try something different, and at first I sort of put myself in there when we were looking for the right cast and what the show should be. I put myself in there as a bit of a placeholder because I thought I can can sort of control it from the inside, because I had such a vision in my mind of what I wanted to be. But then you know what happened. I tried to turn it into out Loud.

You're coming for us.

I don't mean to brag, but the format works.

But it was Timu out Loud for older people, and.

It was just the I just respect for the host. You are not TEAMO out Loud.

Well, I realized a couple of things. You guys are quite good at what you do.

We've been trying to tell you that, and I didn't.

Realize that until I got on the couch with people who were new to podcasting.

You've managed to offend us and the entire team Sentence.

Watch were trying to.

Out of this hole that I've just dug, And what I realized is that, you know, it's funny. I remember working in magazines and a competitor was launching and we were like, what are they going to do? And my boss at the time said to me, if you ever want to know what someone's going to do, you just look at what they've done before, because people mostly just recreate what they've done before, right, Actually it works, Yeah, yeah,

They didn't know each other.

Whereas we've built chemistry and this muscle by doing it five days a week for so many years all together.

But we do a very specific thing, and the people that you chose are funny and experienced and experts in their field and have incredible storytellers. So it's like you had to lean into the skill set that they had rather than trying.

Exactly while not also cannibalizing the show that I'm on and love with you guys, because that's just not smart business and it's too much for the audience to listen to.

So what it is is different. You're going to learn nothing on this show.

If you want to know what's going on the world going into pop culture, you're not going to find out by listening to this show. But if you need to just laugh and just listen to women your own age talking about, you know, whether it's a pop culture reference like Adamant or not Happy jan But you don't see

And the women on the show are all.

Over fifty except for Sally Hepworth, who is forty five. There's Mary Custas, Brunda Pap Andrea all friends of the show. They're all out loud listeners, Doctor Jenny Mansburg, Grace.

Lambs, Grace slam is a twin.

Too, Katherine mahoney. Yes, we've had a great chut and she's nuts in the best way there in the best way anyways.

So it launches.

Is it once a week?

It's once a week on Tuesdays?

Okay, can't cut out louds grass, it's not an instead of it's an as well as and it's just.

A very different and it guess.

For all jams like this episode this week about not showering. I'm like, yes, I've been telling that to everyone. Stop showering.

How many times do you guys shower.

Once every second day?

Oh dear god, what about you?

At least twice a day.

I love a good show twice a day to you like the climate and the moment.

Wow, and they're not long showers.

A confession by someone on the pod this week who's quite notorious for not showering.

And I feel so much better almost ever.

Anyway, we'll put a link in our show notes. We'd love to have you listen and love to know what you think.

Yeah. Super proud.

A woman named Jennifer B. Wallace. She's a journalist and an author.

She says that everyone you meet is walking around with an invisible sign hanging off their neck, and that invisible sign reads tell me do I Matter? And it is sad, but it's also so true. That's the subject of her brand new book called Mattering, The Secret to a Life

Because purpose is a bit exhausting, Like when everyone's talking about purpose, you feel like, oh god, I've got to find a purpose as well as getting a perhaps meeting, you know what.

I also feel like purpose has somehow been le to making money, like a purpose has also been like find your purpose and then make it into a business, whereas mattering is like, I feel like a completely different thing.

And so the more I've.

Read about this book, at first, I was like mattering, like, yeah, everyone wants to matter. Fine, But the more I've read, the more I've gone, oh, Okay, this is a really important cultural moment. Mattering to who, Well, that's the thing, right, It's about mattering to others. And she says that we're obsessed with self care, and we think laying in the bath or you know, reading a book or whatever is

And loneliness.

And she says that the question of whether or not you matter is the most fundamental human question.

We ask it our whole lives. It's what separates us from animals.

Mattering, she says, isn't like a trophy we collect at twenty five and put on a shelf and go, I've achieved it.

I matter.

It is always in transition. So whether it's retirement and empty nest, a loss of a job, grieving someone you're really close to, moving house somewhere, you can totally undo our sense of mattering, and then we have to rebuild it again. And she's got some really good strategies for like where to find it if you feel like you've lost it.

Breakups as well, I think, yeah, maybe a real because it was like I mattered to you, and if someone breaks up with you, you're like, well you just said that, I actually don't.

And I vote, do I matter at all?

And I won't ongoing? Yeah?

And if I don't matter to the person who matters the most to me, where does that leave me?

Yeah?

And so that's why it's like this real crisis. Mia.

Does this ring true to you, this idea of there are different stages in your life where you're confronted with like a crisis of mattering.

I think this is so true and profound. I've been thinking about this so much since you said you wanted to talk about it today. And the reason it's so primal is because where essentially primal tribal beings, and in ye olden times, being of value within your tribe is the only way you could survive if you were overlooked in your tribe, if you didn't matter to anyone, if you're invisible, no one was going to protect you, no

But I can see the impact of my action.

Yes it matters, Yeah what I do.

Yeah, I think what you said in the beginning, Jesse, about how this could be as big as mel robins let them. I think this is a direct response to if you let them too much, and then you're constantly going let them, let them, they're going to break up with me, let them, they're moving out. Let them, and then suddenly you're by yourself because you've let them all just go.

That's very smart. So like nothing matters, let them, nothing matters.

And they were like, oh my god, nothing matters. Everyone, please like not something matter.

Stick to let them.

And that's what Wallace actually says is that this like lol, I don't care, loll apathy, Lol, this is all cringe vibe that we're culturally in has kind of given way to this crisis of mattering, as she calls it. I really like what she says about asking other people for help, and she calls it extending a sense of mattering.

So it was like, oh, that's why I ask my.

Dadd to come over and fix my door, because my dad has to like, yes, you have to do erectly, and that's my dad like, and you can feel such guilt asking anyone for anything, but we're actually doing each other favors all the time by giving each other purpose. And she talks about there are people who look around and go, who do I matter to? And why do

And about to be even thicker, do you sometimes feel? I remember thinking I just need ten minutes when nobody's touching mummy or talking to mummy, including.

Daddy, there's an end to you, and I feel.

Like I am just too intrinsic to everybody's well being matter too much.

Yeah, I wanted that, but then I thought about my mental health since Luna, and this is not everyone's experience, but I wonder if it's actually been the antidote to a feeling of not mattering. So I think when I've had kind of these moments in my life where I've looked around and gone purpose meaning blah blah blah, and I've been kind of confused, it's been a difficult question to answer. But there is something a lot of people say,

This is what it is. It makes me feel like I matter.

Like do you know what else makes you feel like that? A pet? Dogs?

And there's a saying about if you've got teenagers in the house, you want someone to be happy to see you when you get home.

Get a dog, and it's true, like I matter so much and that dog.

I was reading this kind of theory about how there are different transitions in life. There are what they call anticipated events, so for.

Example, I've got baby babies.

There are unanticipated events you lose someone suddenly, and then there are non events.

And I thought this one was so interesting.

It's the pregnancy that never happened, it's the promotion you never got, it's the and it's said that all of those thrust upon you a sense of like I need to face again why I matter?

It's actually quite scary, and it's so hard I guess to voice that because it becomes kind of well with me, like you just need someone to sit with you and be like, you'll get the next one or be fine. But that period of time can go on forever, even though it's happening initially to you for those two seconds.

Do you mean that's because it's a version of yourself that never gets realized.

That you anticipated and that you expected. So I think I've listened to women. So for example, Elizabeth Day has talked about how she really wanted children and she had these issues with fertility and her all her focus on mattering was in her position as a mother, which did not happen for her, and it was like, in order to recover, she had to go how do I matter?

Elsewhere?

And she managed to shift that and is now completely happy and at peace with the decision. But there was always going to be that moment of like this thing hasn't happened.

I thought I was sort of promised.

Did you ever read men are from Mars, Women Are from Venus?

I didn't know.

It was fine author called John Gray. It was really big in the sort of the eighties and nineties. There's some really you know, some people don't like it, but I actually found it so interesting. It's of course some generalizations about gender. Certainly a lot of them rang true for me. But one of them is about men. Men need to feel needed, women need to feel heard, and

In order for him to matter, and needs to solve.

Correct And the problem is this is getting sort of big. But since women's liberation and feminism, where we are encouraged quite rightly to not depend on a man and to be able to do things for ourselves, their sense of purpose and mattering has become a little bit confused.

So that brings me to something I couldn't stop thinking about in all of this, which is the disillusionment of young men and the danger of that. It's like when you feel like you don't matter, and this is like Scott Galloway has talked about it for young disenfranchised men,

Women are often more.

Likely to take it out on themselves, Yeah, and to internalize it a.

Little bit more.

But it's like it becomes a social issue if you have a whole community of people who feel like they don't matter, whether it's unemployment or whether it's they can't build significant relationships, and that society essentially collapse.

It But then is it also us telling ourselves that we matter and then also telling men that they matter?

Yeah, do we have to tell them that? That's a coin?

In countries where there's compulsory military service, that's really interesting too, because the time after you leave school and your life is fairly well regimented, you can suddenly get a little bit.

Lost after that.

I mean, if you don't really know what you want to do after school, if you don't want to do a particular thing or study a particular course, you can feel about like how do I matter? Because no one cares if I'm at school or not, like all of the stuff that you actually.

Again and you're invisible.

Yeah, you're invisible, and so it's like I don't matter, and I think that's one of the reasons that I dropped out of UNI.

Apparently if you feel like you're having a crisis of this. There's an acronym that she uses and it's said, so the first is significant. You have to feel significant, whether that's like seen essential. You have to feel appreciated. So that's the thing of the person who's looking after elderly parents. You probably don't feel appreciated because maybe it can't be expressed.

Do you think that's why women like weddings? Yeah, the idea of.

Them because it tells everybody that you matter, Like, guess what I am inviting two hundred people?

So true matter and watch celebrity how much I matter?

The I is for invested in, So you want to feel supported and cared for, invested in. I thought was a really interesting one because the other week I had a terrible week stuff with pregnancy, and I reached out to a few friends and I told them what had happened and kept them updated. Every single one of those friends followed up a few days later, and so just out of nowhere, two o'clock on a Thursday, and said, Hey, just thinking about you and how you're going.

I felt like I madded so much.

I was like, that is such a good reminder to always follow up if someone drops something on.

You and you move on with your life, just the follow.

Up, really, you know.

And I felt that is when I finally spoke out about why I left the show, and I'd lost my confidence and I was like, I'm not coming back.

No one misses me.

And I didn't do it in a woe is me or in a thirsty no one misses me?

Do you miss me? Like it wasn't that.

Like I genuinely thought, I don't matter anymore because if the two years of being told getting the bin, you're evil, you're you know, a genocidal murderer. And then when I was honest about that, and then when I did come back and out loud As was so incredible.

That's how I felt. I felt, oh, held up by it.

And it was really humbling, and it was like plugging yourself into a charger, feeling that you matter.

Yeah, you like you're You don't find that an isolation. I don't think the d on this as well is depended upon So this is why it can be such a gift to ask people felt to say. You know, I've had friends ask if they can do particular things and I'm like, I don't want to burden them.

They're busy or whatever. It's like could probably make their day.

Ask me your dad to fix your door?

Why don't you ask me to do anything genuine questions you never do drives me crazy.

That's because you're already doing it.

So am I robbing you of the chance?

No, I'm quite happy with the arrangement.

Out loud As.

In a moment, there is something very sinister that is happening to bathrooms in hotels. We have to get into it. Out loud As. We have a listener dilemma and we need your collective wisdom to help us and our partner's Yui solve it. So here's a problem from our listener, I've always loved fashion for me. Clothes are how I express myself.

Me.

You didn't have to write in It's fine.

We all know that's how you express yourself.

I don't know if I feel understod or attacked. Keep going.

I like spending time to find unique pieces that feel like me. Yeah, we know. My friend Sarah has always been more of a jeans and a tea person, but lately things have taken a weird turn.

So she pitching about Holly, Well, I have to point out how loud as.

If you're watching this on.

YouTube, just and miror wearing the exact same outfit.

Here, we are exactly.

It keeps going down.

Okay.

It started small. I'd buy a specific pair of boots and a week later she'd show up in the exact same ones. I told myself it was a coincidence. Then I wore a very specific silk scarf to brunch and three days later she posted a selfie in the same scarf. Last week was the breaking point. I bought a design address for a mutual friend's wedding, which was a big splurge for me, and I showed her a photo of it. Guess what arrived? At her house yesterday the exact same dress.

Jesse stop coughing me?

The problem is and we didn't know what this was going to be on the show today, and we didn't certainly didn't call. But Jesse's actually wearing my shirt. That's also my shirt.

These are also your pants, Yeah.

So which is kind of different. Give them. It's my dream that if it were dressed like me.

Guys, it's my fucking dream out loud as We are in the process of doing a new shoot for the whole for the whole cast, and I'm in charge of styling, right, I'm in charge of styling. Say who the stylists that were used? Who's amazing. I think I might have given her the wrong brief because when she came back and did references for everybody, everyone was just dressed like me.

You were the photos in reference literally.

With my head cut off and put on M's page and another one.

I just assumed, do you put that together?

No?

I didn't.

So anyway, I've now come in and at first I was like, this is what I want, And then I'm like, oh no, wait, and I had a really good idea. I'm like, how about everybody dresses in the outfit they feel best in.

I thought you hated when we did that.

Yeah, I do, but I'm trying to be mature. I'm trying to grow. But back to this thing.

This has happened to me a lot in my career because when women work together, I find in big groups of women, which is what I've always done, they start to like you start looking like your dogs. Your periods sink, but all your wardrobe also can often sink.

I've done this year where I've gone may or what shoes are we wearing at the moment, and then you'll send me what shoes Like, I know I need a pair of shoes. I don't have the mental load to just see.

I love that.

I think this person, the anonymous sounds like she's gate keeping a little bit, and I think you should flip it. So I'm very evangelical about my style. I was in an Unleashed record and people were commenting on my shoes and I was like, I sent everybody the link immediately in the group chat, and four of them bought my shoes, and that made me really happy.

I kind of feel the same. I mean, I've never had that again.

Jesse, you were are your shoes from? Oh wait? I don't want them, never mind, I hate them.

I just make sure I never go to that shop.

Tell me so I can chuck out anything in my wardrobe that looks like them.

Some people that really they like their individuality and their uniqueness and having someone I've seen this become very awkward in groups where it's like someone will have found some shoes deep on the internet and someone goes and buys them, and you're.

Like, good styles talking, you know, but you just got to be honest about it.

You go, is it okay? Five styles talk you? What's the link?

What do you reckon?

D O?

I think just mah. I feel bad for Sarah, like she's having such a good time, like she's enjoying it. We can wear scarves to brush. Now this is she was just in the jams and the tea and now I'll just open this whole new world the time.

So don't we all want to twin so true?

Out louders, please let us know what you would do next. Share your thoughts in the Mumma outloud Facebook group and if you have a dilemma, send it to us at out loud at mummeya dot com dot are you.

We would love to help.

Guys. The Washington Post deals with the real issues, and I needed to put this on the agenda today because apparently hotel guests are rioting about the fact that hotel rooms they no longer seem to have bathroom doors.

I've noticed this.

People look, they're not literally rioting, but they're complaining. And we all know that letters of complaint make people feel like they matter, right, So that's really guests are pressed because they're checking into a fancy hotel.

It's costs some four hundred bucks a night.

They turn up, there's a dividing wall, there's a curtain, there's a see through thing where you can see the person sitting on the toilet, yeah, yeah, people are having none of it. There are TikTok accounts dedicated to bring back the toilet door. There are people saying that now going to a hotel is either you're going to move your relationship forward or you're going to end it because it's going to be quite confronting.

Look, when you're by yourself, it's fine, right, See, it's fine. You don't need to close the door so you don't see yourself. But just a few weeks ago, I was in a hotel. I went down for a family thing and I was sharing a hotel room with my husband and my adult daughter, and the bathroom was glass, not frosted glass, just glass.

Oh god, that's just not on.

It's not on.

I don't want to continue a conversation with someone that I can see through the thing. It's like you can see them, sit down.

You can.

I have a horror story. This was probably when I was nineteen years old. I went on a holiday with my dad to Hong Kong, sharing a hotel room. I really had to go to the bathroom. I ate something dodgy, it was bad. It was number two. And he was like, okay, we'll get you to the hotel room, run to the hotel room. Everything glass. I was like, Dad, no, I can't do it, and it was like a glass door. And he was like, don't worry. I'll like hang a towel.

Yes.

He turns the light on in the room. The whole window like it's glass, not only glass, but glass towards the bed where he's sitting on, facing me right level, and then a window behind him to the rest of the hotel.

Who asked for the but.

Also hang on a second etiquette when you're sharing a hotel room with anyone, not just your parents or your kids, but a partner, a friend, anyone. No.

Number two is in the room.

I have food poison there.

There's other bathrooms in every hotel.

There is a toilet near the gym, near the lobby.

Always always because you kidding people there, what.

If you came back from your pilates class.

You can't do it in your room and stink out the room, or you prefer your roommate to stink.

Out the room.

Look, I have been on holidays with lots of other people and we've traveled and whatever, and if I don't go when I need to go, then I end up with stomach issues. And we all know that it's just really important to asking you.

To catch a bus.

I'm asking you to maybe get in the lift and go down one floor.

This is what you do.

You get into the hotel that has a transparent door, and you go, Okay, fuck, this holiday's right. And then you say, let's go to the pool. And then you go down to the pool, and then you say I forgot my hat, and then you go upstairs and then.

You do what you need to And it's just an unwritten.

Contray message you and they can be found it.

Yea some time, Well they come in because they forgot there some.

Yeah, and then that's an absolute relationship ruiner.

But I want it on the record that we all want closed, yeah, proper doors.

I'd pay extra for a closed door exactly. So Valentine's Day is around the corner. I'm very happy because I am overseas so I don't have to deal with it. The mental load of Valentine's day, and my algorithm is filled with two things.

Well, I have a different calendar where you're going. Does it not exist?

Well, I think because I'm on holiday. So we pretend that it's not happening because you're doing holiday stuff.

Are you gonna be with your dad again?

I'm gonna be okay.

No, he's gonna buy you a rose.

I know it. He'll do something crazy. But my algorithm is feeding me two things right now. One is reasonably price gifts to give your situationship, and the second one is ten reasons why you're not alone on Valentine's Day?

Can you explain situationships to me?

Because I know people who are like, it's complicated, and I'm like, why are either of you married?

No, it's just a situationship. What does that even mean?

You're twenty three and you see each other regularly. It sounds so simple.

You're just casually dating. Except one of you thinks you're in a situationship and the other person thinks they're single.

What's the difference between it being a single a situationship and a relationship being dating?

Okay?

Being single is like you're single, you're not dating, You're just alone. That's fine.

That was me.

That was me. Dating means you're just seeing a few people, maybe every few weeks. Situationship means that you're kind of liking this one person you're dating, so you're only really exclusively seeing them, but you haven't had that conversation. If they're also exclusively seeing.

You, why they would to hook up with someone else? Then it's like you.

Will be a bit sad, but you can't do They have to tell you that they're hooking up.

Well, why is that different from dating? You just said you're seeing different people.

That's a situationship is like when you've decided that you're only going to be seeing that person, but you're too scared to have the conversation that you're seeing them.

It's a continuum, and a situationship is one up.

From and then you've got relationship. My life's really hard, guys. Anyway, what do you got in there? I'm in a bit of a dating one person right now.

That sounds like a situation ship.

It's a bit more.

Are you getting them a Valentine present?

Sorry?

But if I'm not sorry, you just.

Told me that dating is the rung on the leaderboard. Relationship.

I'm exclusively dating someone, So that's a situationship. No situationship is non exclusive. We'll get there one day, maybe we'll do a subject on this. But there was an article in Cosmopolitan that made me go, oh my god. It was written by Kayla Kibb, and she talked about how Valentine's Day is not actually the saddest day for single people. It's your birthday. So she referenced this scene in Sex and the City and it's when Carrie spends her thirty

So I did did well?

Yeah when I remember so specifically watching this episode, and it just hit me because I have felt that exact sentiment on my birthday. And I also hated a minute again. It was I think two years ago where I always have to do something on my birthday, like, I always have to celebrate it because then if I don't, then I just get really really sad and depressed. And I always do a big dinner with my family and my closest friends. And the dinner was great. I had so

You thought you didn't matter because I thought I didn't make It's okay.

It's the built in plans element. That's what a good relationship has.

Is that like on Valentine's Day or your birthday, or Christmas or New Year's Eve, it's like you have some kind of built in like idea of you kind of take for granted you won't be alone, right, But I reckon even sadder than a birthday single if you don't want to be single, is a birthday with a shit boyfriend who like being in a ship relationship and they don't make it fast and they don't make you feel special, and you've got all of these expectations and you spend it with them because.

You know why, because you feel again, you do feel like you don't matter and someone disappoints you.

So what's the.

Actually because I've never been in a relationship on my birthday, so what's the actual feeling of having that opposite?

But I remember this birthday where like I sensed my boyfriend didn't like me, but it was confirmed that day and it was just like my birthday was just very much. I remember like waking up and being like, oh, what do you do? Like he didn't plan anything or anything. We've been together for like a year, Like it wasn't

I don't even I don't care about presents.

But like you didn't feel seen.

I'm so offended by whatever the hell this is.

And then I think he made plans with someone else. I was then kind of left in limbo, like are we doing dinner?

Like that was my most oppressing birthday.

I would rather have been single and then just been like at least I can choose what to do, who I spend it with.

Yeah, birthdays it can be really confronting depending on where you are in your life.

I also find New Year's Eve hard single. I reckon Newyears Eve is harder than Valentine's.

Day, lighter pressure at midnight, we're gonna kiss?

Exactly what did you do?

In New I always had my girlfriends over and I was dating. I was sorry, right, yeah, not to kiss. Now look at the fireworks and then make fun of all the singers on ABC.

I remember pastime.

I remember at school, boys would send like big bouquets of flowers to the school for like, and then bear thing over the thing, being like em come to the office God. And the nuns fucking hated the nuns. Nuns had no time for teenage boys.

They were just like, so, you don't think they were jealous.

I don't think they were jealous.

They were just like, honestly, that boy will break your heart, which he did, and he's a waste of be a time.

They just hated it. The public displaze of affection.

I would call him sick. I wouldn't be able to handle that. No, it was too much.

It was awful after the break.

Our recommendations from a hair accessory to a book I've been dying to tell you about, to the television show that is one of the biggest of.

The year, bribes, ideas, atmosphere, something casual, something fun. This is my best recommendation. It is Friday, and we want to help set up your weekend with our very best recommendations. Who wants to go first? Maya?

I want to talk about Bridgeton, but that's not my that's my record.

I know it's yours. So why don't you start?

Okay, I'll start Bridgeton. Season four is out half of a season. Fours out now, the first four episodes. The rest of the season drops I think February twenty six.

Why do they do that now? Because Netflix used to drop whole seasons of things, and then they started a couple of years ago dropping them in two halves.

I think it's firstly for us to yearn to yearn for the season, like how Bridgeton people yearn for each other, and then they get an extra promo about it, because you know how whenever each Bridgeton series, in each book is about one of the Bridgeton's siblings, and they're doing that whole play of like they're really in love with

Those people, it.

Gives you extra buzz.

But then I'm watching the Peter I talked about last week, and it's week to week and I just don't have the patience. I just like, I'm loving it.

But is that a show you can binge? From what I hear?

I keep stealing myself to try and watch that. Is that a show you want to watch all in one?

I love binging.

I love sitting down and just being able to watch as much as a little as I want. So the first four episodes of this are out.

Is it still very sexy?

It's still very sexy. It stars yarn Hah who's an Australian actress with Korean heritage.

That was the first thing I googled. So I saw her character and she's a new character, the love interest, and I was like, is that a bit of an Australian accent? And I googled it and it was her Australian accent comes through a bit, but I was also I'm only.

Up to episode three.

It's not as sexy, I think, as the show's got bigger, all the stars have had their contracts redrawn a bit, so there's just a lot of sort of bed covers and stuff. Because it was really launchy the first couple of there's not as much. I haven't seen much sex well.

I think it's very similar to season two, which is my favorite season, the one where Jonathan Bailey and Simone Ashley, and this right now is on par for me. I like the whole storyline, and it seems very similar to Downton Abbey, Like you're getting the upstairs and downstairs, so with this season in Bridgeton, you're also seeing like the servants and the maids and how they talk to each other and interact and prepare the houses, which I really

Is it similar? It is like it is.

I thought that was fantastic, But what you just said it's similar to Downtown Abbey. I don't know if you found this, but because these shows I'm also watching the Gilded Age, which is like the American version of Bridgeton or Downto Nabbey. Right, And because I'm watching all of these shows and I watched down Town Abbey a bit before, I'm now getting them all confused because they've all got the upstairs and the downstairs, and you're right, this is

In the other show.

So it took me at least an episode to orient myself into who's who.

Can I ask if I watched it, I liked season I've been busy. I haven't seen season two or season three. Can you dip back in or should you kind of watch it all?

You can dip back in. I reckon you should watch it all.

Go back to two.

I go back to two. Two is the best. But also, when I finished watching these four episodes, you know when you watch something and you're so obsessed with it that you just want to keep talking about it. So we do a podcast called watch Party here at Mama Mia, which dissects the biggest TV shows and movies that are happening right now, and they've just done a bridget in episode.

It so it's all that stuff. You would sit on the couch googling.

Yeah, it's it's all there.

I find.

That's the first thing I want to do because also the way we watch TV now, you're not up to season four. I don't know where you're up to in season four?

Is it season four?

Well? Yeah, yeah the first I'm like up to episode two, so I don't want spoilers. So I love going after I've watched the show that I love going and listening to a podcast discussion about it because it's like the debrief that you need. So I'm going to watch two more episodes and then I'm going to listen.

It's so good, we'll link it in our show notes.

What's your record?

My recommendation, I'm gonna have to take my headphones off to show you, so some may have people may have noticed that I had glitter extensions tin tinsel in my hair. Right, it looks really nice with the studio lights on, Thank you so much. So what happened is before Christmas, I was at the hairdresser and I saw one of the other people who worked there. She had like these blue glitter strands in her hair and I was like, oh, it's that and my hairdresser, l our hairdresser, was like, oh,

Tied onto your actual strands of hair, they're like.

Clamped with these little metal clamps, so you can't take them all proper ol. Right. Yeah, So I got them out a couple of weeks ago because they were starting to a little bit matted.

I was like, I want some more, but I didn't have time because I get so bored at the hairdresser. So what I did was I went and looked. Jesse's so riveted by this, She's.

Trying to wawn, and I got little clip on ones in all different colors.

So Maya's holding up. It's like it looks like tensil.

Yeah, it's like those little clips.

I think they're weig clips, and it's got little strands, individual strands. They look like hair, but they're like tillery. Yeah, and you can get them in anything.

It reminds me of I used to have hair put hair feathers in. Do you ever wear hair feathers? I don't think, maybe fifteen years ago.

I also wore like a blue Street.

Yeah yeah, or I could plait like that was colored or whatever.

I think it's kind of fun.

Yeah, so your joy, oh my god, so much joy. Now I've just got another. Remember when I had my shoe char my shoe jawl.

At least this one doesn't make any noise.

This isn't an audio hazard, so yeah, I will put a link in the show notes to where to get that.

Jesse, what do you have?

I have a book that I actually read months ago and I was desperate to recommend, but it was an advance copy site to wait and wait and wait. And I've been on such a role lately with incredible books, but this one stuck with me. Is called On the Edge by Kate Horn, who is an Australian author, and the premise is that Nell's dad. The main character is Nell.

I picked it up.

I give books, honestly, I'm so bad, but I give them my five.

Pages now to get me in. And this totally got me in. Was brilliant.

It's like a mystery.

It's a mystery and it's like a Sally hepworth Lea Moriarty, Jane Harper, Like it is absolutely that caliber.

It is called on the Edge.

And I love Australian coastal towns, like I love that vibe.

It is just so readable. Love it, love it, love it. On the edge. That is all we have time for.

You're doing the outro, it is I'm doing the outro. I don't know how Holly does it so seamlessly, because it's like it's not all we have time for, Like no one's really wrapping us.

But I guess like we're done.

Ye yeah, it's not another elimited amount of time, no run out exactly.

But we do matter. We do.

We do really matter.

Speaking of people who matter, our team, team, they matter so much.

Em a big thank you to our whole team. Our group executive producer Root Divine, our executive producer Sasha Tanic, our senior audio producer is Leah porge'es, our video producer is Josh Green, and our junior content producer is Tessa Kodovich.

Bye oh bye bye, and I'm on the subzeps. This week if you're listen, I'm not competitive, but I'm trying to beat these people.

MOA Mayor acknowledges the traditional owners of the land on which we have recorded this podcast.