Anne and Patrick discuss how Drea and Nate demonstrate the relationship skill of Commitment. Healthy commitment in a relationship is about much more than just technically being together as a couple; it involves making conscientious choices on a daily basis to choose your partner and to choose to improve the relationship one day at a time. Unlocking the power of commitment involves focusing on the relationship process of improvement, rather than just the results. Follow us on Instagram at rekindl...
May 10, 2021•1 hr 13 min
Sometimes you need to leave home to find something that was close to you all along. Drea and Nate grew up in the same small town, and even were in the same grade in high school, but did not truly "find" each other until they went off to college. They overcame attending rival colleges and Drea's commitment phobia to eventually get married after a few bumps along the way. After marriage, while their commitment to each other is now not in doubt, it hasn't always been easy! They've overcome being di...
Apr 13, 2021•44 min
Anne and Patrick discuss how Earl and Meagan demonstrate the relationship skill of Translating Understanding and support. All of us have collected useful tools over the years that we have been promised will help our relationship. However, if we want to take these tools and turn them into relationship power tools we need to be able to understand enough about our partner's experiences, preferences, and personality in order to apply these tools at the right times and in the right ways. Relationship...
Mar 29, 2021•46 min
In this bonus episode, we hear from Elaine and Abe, a real-life couple in a "commuter marriage" (one lives in Texas, the other California) who also co-host the relationship podcast, Love is in the Air. Elaine and Abe share some great insights into what it means to be in a long-distance relationship, as well as answer some relationship questions of their own. Be sure to check out their podcast, Love is in the Air, available through most major podcast hosting sites.
Mar 20, 2021•12 min
When Earl transferred law schools he wasn't necessarily expecting to find his future wife, but it didn't take long after meeting for Earl and Meagan to go from classmates to soulmates. Despite their immediate connection, the two of them came from very different worlds... well, at least from very distant states. With Meagan returning to California after graduation, and Earl taking a job in his hometown of Chicago, the two faced a relationship test perhaps more difficult than any of their law scho...
Mar 17, 2021•38 min•Ep. 15
Anne and Patrick discuss how Mike and Vauna demonstrate the relationship skill of Courage throughout their 38+ years of marriage. While many of us consider relationship courage only to really apply at the beginning of our relationship, it's actually a skill that needs to be applied all throughout the course of our relationship. It's important to show courage in the decisions we make, in allowing ourselves to open up to our partner, and in doing all the daily little things which draw us closer to...
Mar 11, 2021•55 min
A chance meeting at a movie theater while at college has turned into going on four decades of marriage. Now married for 38 years, Mike and Vauna will readily admit that things were not always easy for the two of them. With Mike an extrovert, and Vauna an introvert the two of them have had to learn from the very beginning how to blend and mix their different communication styles. They've had to overcome such challenges as job instability and personality clashes, all while maintaining a loving rel...
Mar 03, 2021•38 min
Anne and Patrick discuss how Brian and Farina use the relationship skill of Choosing Family to build their own family culture. All of us come from a different culture than our partner. While some relationship differences are more obvious than others, even small ones can lead to relationship conflict. It's important for us to recognize the culture that our partner came from and learn to use pieces from both family cultures to build a new unique culture all of your own. For a more in-depth explana...
Feb 23, 2021•48 min
While Brian and Farina both grew up within 20 miles of each other in Maryland, in many ways they came from very different worlds. Brian, the grandson of a congressman, comes from a traditional suburban background. Farina, a Native American and member of the Navajo Nation grew up witnessing extreme poverty. Despite coming from such diverse backgrounds, the two of them have learned to appreciate and embrace each other's cultures and heritage. With Farina a university professor and Brian a stay-at-...
Feb 15, 2021•51 min•Season 2Ep. 1
Anne and Patrick discuss how Andres and Phillip use the relationship skill of deepening to increase their intimacy. Increased relationship intimacy is not something that just "happens," but is developed through a process that we need to conscientiously decide to move through. As we move through the (often messy) steps of conflict, vulnerability, and repair, we can gain a deeper appreciation and understanding of our partner and a more intimate and fulfilling relationship. For a more in-depth expl...
Jul 01, 2020•41 min
As an interracial gay couple living in an extremely conservative state, Andres and Phillip don't exactly fit the stereotypical mold of most of the married couples that they see around them. But instead of spending too much time just trying to blend in, these two are learning to embrace what makes their relationship uniquely special and being comfortable with who they are. It's not always easy living in a world where the templates for how a relationship is "supposed" to work doesn't necessarily a...
Jun 23, 2020•43 min
Jun 21, 2020•38 min
All relationships require sacrifice. Blending two lives requires give and take by both people to decide where to live, what Netflix shows to watch together, etc. When children are added to the equation, those sacrifices multiply seemingly exponentially. So when Meagan and Nick, to well established young professionals, decided to get married and then have kids, something (or someone) had to give! Well, in truth, they both had to give, and still do! Meagan and Nick are a great example of how when ...
Jun 15, 2020•41 min
Anne and Patrick discuss how Melissa and Robert use the relationship skill of asking great questions in order to strengthen their relationship! Despite coming from extremely different backgrounds, Melissa and Robert's openness and honest curiosity have helped them to make their relationship thrive! For a more in-depth explanation of this skill and more suggestions on how to incorporate it into your relationship check out makinglovetoday.com. Relationship Challenge of the Week: For one week, flag...
Jun 11, 2020•40 min
Melissa and Robert in many ways come from extreme opposite backgrounds. Melissa is white, Robert is Black. Melissa comes from an upper-middle-class upbringing in the suburbs, Robert comes from a poor upbringing in the city. Melissa's family members are Republican, Robert's family members are Democrats. When they first met, Melissa was an accountant with multiple college degrees, Robert was a high school graduate. Despite their differences, and often because of their differences, Melissa and Robe...
Jun 08, 2020•51 min
In this final episode of Love in the Time of Corona, Patrick and Anne discuss the relationship challenges that we're likely to face as things start to open up again post-lockdown. When will things return to normal? Will they ever return to normal? What sort of strain will this uncertain have on us and our relationships? They talk about this and more! While it's certainly exciting for the world to be starting to open back up again, there are still plenty of new and unique challenges to navigate! ...
Jun 04, 2020•33 min
"Say thank you!" It's a phrase all parents tell their children countless times. It's been ingrained in all of us that saying thank you is a necessary part of being a good person. However, if our outward displays of gratitude never extend beyond repeating two culturally ingrained words, is it actually doing us any good? Does it matter if I'm actually grateful when I say I am, or is it fine if I'm just good at faking it? Who really ends up being benefited most from genuine acts of gratitude: the g...
May 23, 2020•34 min
Introducing, The Man's Space: a new recurring bonus series specifically geared toward what it means to be a man in a modern relationship. Society in general, and pop culture in particular, does not look kindly on the relationship skills of most men. For every positive husband and father figure depicted on TV for in movies, there are at least a dozen Homer Simpsons and Fred Flintstones. Is that how most men really are in relationships? Oafish and clumsy at best, and emotionally detached and uncar...
May 17, 2020•42 min
Society has perpetuated this romantic notion that our partner needs to be our everything and our sole source of support and happiness. In practice, we all need a broad support network of friends and family to truly get the mental and emotional help that all of us need. With social distancing and stay-in-place orders widespread, many of us are finding our typical robust support networks reduced down to a single person: our partner. In this episode, Anne and fellow marriage and family therapist An...
May 05, 2020•43 min
Has the emotional distress of living through a pandemic turned you and those around you into emotional porcupines? Do you find yourself unintentionally lashing out at your partner in ways that you don't normally do and vice versa? Has everyone in your household put up their emotional defenses while working through the stresses of social distancing? If so, you just might be a porcupine! It's natural and normal in times of stress and uncertainties for us put up our emotional defenses, similar to t...
Apr 27, 2020•37 min
Is your spouse, partner, or another loved one on the front line of the COVID-19 pandemic? Do you live with a medical professional, police officer, grocery store worker, or other essential worker who is putting themselves (and potentially you and your family) at risk of infection on a daily basis? If so, you bear a special sort of stress and worry that may feel like it isolates you from society even more than typical social distancing guidelines. Also, if so, you are not alone. In this episode An...
Apr 17, 2020•39 min
Anne and fellow therapist Shannon Tappana discuss how adaption and creativity can help us overcome our moments of fear, sadness, or just feeling "stuck." Especially now with our world sometimes feeling like it is falling down around us, our primitive fight or flight instincts can kick in and make us feel like we only have a very limited number of options. Anne and Shannon discuss how taking a deep breath and looking for a third (or fourth or fifth) option can both mentally and physiologically gi...
Apr 14, 2020•39 min
In this episode of the mini-series Love in the Time of Corona, Anne and Patrick discuss how the grief cycle is currently impacting all of us. No matter who we are or what our circumstances, we have all experienced some form of loss as a result of the COVID 19 pandemic. Those feelings of anxiety, sadness, denial, and even joy and happiness are all part of the process of adjusting to something strange and often scary that is currently happening to all of us. Anne discusses some of the tools we can...
Apr 10, 2020•47 min
Anne talks with fellow therapist Dr. Michael Whitehead about how families and couples can effectively manage the added anxiety that comes along with living in a pandemic.
Apr 07, 2020•33 min
Anne and Patrick introduce a new Making Love Today mini-series, Love in the Time of Corona. They discuss how the current pandemic is affecting relationships, and how Making Love Today plans to take a break from its regularly scheduled couple interviews to delve deep into what we can do to safeguard our relationships in difficult times. The mini-series will include conversations with Anne and Patrick, interviews with therapists, and bringing on couples to talk about their current experience with ...
Mar 31, 2020•14 min
Anne and Patrick discuss how Josh and Whitney demonstrate the relationship skills of self-transcendence and emotional expression/engagement. For a more in-depth explanation of these skills and more suggestions on how to incorporate them into your own relationship check out makinglovetoday.com. Relationship Challenge of the Week: For one week keep an emotion journal. Pay attention to what you are feeling (both positively and negatively). Record what your emotions are, how strong they are, and the...
Mar 26, 2020•41 min
In a society that is absolutely dominated by strict cultural gender norms and expectations, it is typically easiest just to conform to those expectations and live life accordingly. Josh and Whitney, however, are not ones to just go with the flow! With Whitney working as a high powered attorney and Josh owning the title of "Mr. Mom," these two don't hold back on giving real insights into the realities of life with reverse gender roles. Josh and Whitney first met as Whitney was getting ready to he...
Mar 23, 2020•32 min
Anne and Patrick discuss how Maren and Mark demonstrate the relationship skills of acceptance and flexibility. For a more in-depth explanation of these skills and more suggestions on how to incorporate them into your own relationship check out makinglovetoday.com. Relationship Challenge of the Week: When you catch yourself vilifying your partner, or complaining, or wishing things were different. Take those feelings of frustration and validate them, then set them aside for a minute. Think about w...
Mar 18, 2020•42 min
Being in a relationship where one partner is required to work long hours can be challenging. Living far away from your support network while raising three kids can also be challenging. Doing both of those first two things while also navigating the complexities of extremely differing personality types? Maren and Mark say bring it on! It's not always easy, but this couple makes the most of what can sometimes be an extremely trying situation to find the solutions that work for them. These two are a...
Mar 16, 2020•36 min
Anne and Patrick discuss how Chad and Sunnie demonstrate the relationship skill of perspective-taking. Anne discusses how important it is to be able to see situations, both things that are difficult or exciting, from the point of view of your partner. This helps to avoid misunderstandings, get both partners on the same team as one another, as well as fosters mutual respect. For a more in-depth explanation of this shill and more suggestions on how to incorporate it into your own relationship chec...
Mar 11, 2020•36 min
