Going through LAX, trying to find my flight. I hear a blood-curdling scream. I was genuinely... Frightened. I'm going to make like a million dollars. I'll be back in a year and I will have the money to build our first theater. And they all looked at me like, okay. Have you seen Rod Stewart since then? No.
Not in person. Does he know that it was you that did it? I assume by now he does, because it's been made public and you guys are... Mentioning it again. Mentioning it again. So this is making a scene. And this is David Schwimmer, the movie. That's you, David Schwimmer. So, David, we've known you for quite a few years. Too long. Yes. Agreed. Yeah. I met you first, let's just say that, okay? If we're having a competition. No, because I'd met you in a lift.
Before that. No, but that was after. Was it after? Yeah, that was after. Fill me in because I don't... Well, we met through our mutual friend Ido Goldberg. Yes. An actor. Yeah. We're very close to you. So we've hung out. We've even more been on holiday together. Yeah. Oh, you've forgotten. Again, I've tried to suppress several memories. And then Matt said he met you in a Lyft, which is not a good story.
I met you in a lift and I said, oh, I know your friend Ido Goldberg. And you went, oh, okay. You were in a shy mode and you had your cap on. I'm in that mode. Shy Dave. Shy David, yeah. You were in shy mode. But you worked together. You were in a film that David directed, weren't you? Yeah, but that wasn't the first. That was afterwards. Basically, we know each other. Otherwise, there'd be absolutely no reason you'd be here today. That's...
Absolutely true. Although I've been genuine fans of you both for a long time. I wish I could say the same, but thank you. You've been very kind though. You directed some of our... little britain usa series in los angeles yeah that was a blast and you guest starred in come fly with me yes i did yeah that was fun that was fun so
Little Dave. Yes. That's what I'm calling him. Big Dave, Little Dave. Yeah. A little. Like Lil Wayne. Yeah. You don't need to say the little. No, just little. Little Dave. Little Dave. A highly unlikely event that someone will make in their future life. Oh, wow! I don't disagree. I don't know why this whole premise is quite strange. Somebody must have played you. Parts of your life.
must have been dramatized. Has anyone ever played you in a sketch on SNL or any? I don't think so. Has anyone come and do an impression of you? I think people have, maybe, or... I think maybe people more likely done sketches imitating the character Ross, right? But no one has played me. impersonated me to my knowledge. It's not been a lifetime movie yet. I don't understand why there was. So Ross, your movie of your life, a biopic.
Okay. What would it be called? Oh, perhaps Sink or Swim. Sink or Swim. I like that. I like that. Because we went swimming together once. Do you remember? Yeah. Yeah, we did. Where did you go on holiday? It was holiday in Turks and Caicos. Turks and Caicos we went to, and then we've been to the south of Ireland. The favourite moment was this...
I think Beckham was there. David Beckham. Sorry, that's David Beckham. Yeah, yeah. And so three Daves. We did a photo together, the three of us. Yeah, I said, Britain's sexist. Which I thought was going to be, you know, just private. And of course, no. David immediately posted it to the world. World Sexiest Dave competition reaches final three. That's what I wrote. Anyway, if you had to say who is the sexiest, probably Beckham, would you say?
Modestly, I would say David Beckham. But honestly, I would say myself. Who would be second? David Beckham. Do you know what it is for me? As a gay man, I should be the one asked that question. The thing about me is if I know someone straight, I don't really fancy them. He's the only gay man in the world who's ever said that. Yeah.
No, it's true. It's like a switch goes off. So in terms of that photo, it would have to be dedicated. Thank you very much. So sink or swim? Yes, sink or swim. Who would play you? I don't know. I don't know. Would you play yourself? That's what I would, I think it would be interesting. Well, yeah, don't turn down work. I think it would be meaningful for me actually to play myself. I mean, no one would see the movie, but I would enjoy the experience.
What was it like being the eight-year-old Schwimm? Would you direct it as well? I've never referred to myself, by the way, in third person or first person like that. You know, like a lot of people do. I would like to be part of the process, like casting the actress to play my mom and the actor to play my dad and my, you know, actress to play my sister. Do you have any ideas who they might be? No, no, no.
I've never given it any thought. But you're on the wrong podcast. Can you give it some thought? Could you give it some thought today? Please. Help us out here. I don't know. David Schrimmer as... Schwimm. Schwimm. So would you direct this movie? Because you're an acclaimed director. Who would direct it? I've seen at least two of your movies. I don't know. I would... I would say maybe it would either go like Spike Jonze, like a weird John Malkovich kind of a movie, or it would be...
Jesse Eisenberg. Oh, he's smart. So both quite alternative. It's got to be... Quite alternative talents. Indie. Yes, I think indie or you go really big, right? Like... Basil Ehrman. Oh, Ridley Scott. Oh, yeah, 15 cameras. Oh, he's just worked with Ridley Scott. 15 cameras. Well, I know you were. okay in that movie, but, um, um, no, you were, you were really enjoyable. Uh, but yeah, like 15 cameras, one take, let's just see what happened. Right. Is that how, yeah.
Is it a comedy, David, this movie? Tragedy? Let's hope it's not a tragedy. I think for you, light comedy. Yeah, thanks. I don't know. I guess more of a feel-good movie than... I would think it's like comedy-drama. Dramedy. Oh, coma. Yeah, dramedy. It's just a dramedy. I don't like it. It's so inductive and feels terrible.
Where would this movie begin? I mean, what would be a big scene? I mean, for me, it would be something like, you know, first time I was on stage in a school play. Was there a moment for you you knew you were reasonably funny? I think one of the... Big moments would be around eight, nine years old when I was kind of, I don't know, obsessed, but I was just really into seeing. Very, very funny, talented people on. This is way before you guys were around.
on telly or in the movies, right? So it was, you know, Peter Sellers as Clouseau and all of, well, Fawlty Towers, all of Monty Python. Gene Wilder was one of my absolute heroes. So I was watching a lot of comedy and a lot of physical comedy and I think I started mimicking what I was seeing. So I would act out what I was watching.
And doing a lot of physical comedy, like in the living room. And I would start to make my mom laugh. And my mom has this unbelievably, you know, wonderful... robust kind of like a belly laugh that is really infectious and as a kid that's one of the greatest sounds ever you could hear or for me it was and so
I was like, oh my God, this is great. I mean, I'm able to make my parents laugh and my mom's laugh. It's one of the greatest sounds. So then I would just start riffing and I would learn how to... fall down, trip, bounce off furniture, run into walls, sometimes hurting myself, but more often learning how to look like I'm hurting myself.
And my mom would just be laughing and laughing and laughing. And I think that was the first moment that I was like, oh, I think I enjoy doing this. I enjoy making people laugh. Did you make people laugh at school? I think at some point I became not the class clown, but I did, I think I was kind of into... Trying to make people laugh at school and then eventually like a little prankster. I was quite mischievous. I was really hyperactive. I had too much energy for my own good.
And so I was always trying to entertain. And I was, I don't know, I just had a lot of energy. And that's the end of my story. So was there a moment where all that came together, where it was like you're on a stage or something like that? Oh, yeah. I mean, I was doing theater as early as fourth grade. I guess fourth grade is age seven. Oh, okay. I think the first show I did in the fourth grade was Bye Bye Birdie. I was Albert Peterson in Bye Bye Birdie. Is that a musical? Yeah.
Can you sing for us? Nope. What another song? I don't know. I don't sing. Well, Dick Van Dyke was in it, wasn't he? Yeah, in the movie. Were you the Dick Van Dyke role? Yeah, Albert Peterson. Yeah. I was also into a lot of sports. I was playing every sport, little league, you know, baseball, basketball, football, everything. And then when you get to high school in the States, at least back then, you were made to choose.
because I was also in the theater program, but you weren't allowed to do both. You weren't allowed, you either had to do practice, like baseball practice after school, or you would do rehearsal. And frankly, there were more. girls in theatre, so I chose rehearsal. I was more interested in that than being a jock. But there's a story around that time. Same. That you've told. Where you serve divorce papers on Rod Stewart. No, that's much later. Much later. Okay, sorry. How old were you? 18.
Oh, okay. Well, so... After high school. Oh, after high school. Yeah. After my freshman year in college. So you did that. Why did you do that? That's not very nice. I had all kinds of jobs, like many actors do, growing up. And my parents... instilled a work ethic in my sister and I from very early on. You had to go to work. You had to get a summer job. I worked at Steve's Ice Cream.
It was one of the first mix-in places where you used to use spatulas and mix in candy and do all that for like $3 an hour. It's like a Tom Cruise cocktail with ice cream. An M&M. Anyway, I had a litany of jobs and one of them one summer was, yeah, serving, being a process server for my mom. It was good. It was like 35 bucks a pop. What is a process server? A process server is someone who works for an attorney.
who is basically hired to serve papers, often divorce papers or child custody papers to someone, to the spouse. of the client that is divorcing that person. I regret asking now. It's quite boring. Who would play Rod Stewart in the movie? David. Oh, I'd like that. My mum's got such a thing for Rod Stewart. She does. She loves him. Yeah, she loves Rod Stewart. In fact, we should get Rod Stewart. Well, we tried. How did you know where Rod Stewart was going to be?
I don't remember exactly how I knew, but my mom, I think her client was his wife at the time. And so I think it was a school event. that she knew he was going to attend to see his kid in something at school. I remember it was some kind of auditorium or whatever that I waited till after the show. So what did you say?
I don't remember. Mr. Stewart, you're served. I think it was like, yeah, I was like, Mr. Stewart, you're served. Have you seen Rod Stewart since then? No, not in person. Does he know that it was you that did it? I assume by now he does, because it's been made public and you guys are...
mentioning it again mentioning it again which so i'm sure so but where's the moment so you're talking now about you know having different jobs and and you know having the aspiration to being an actor but you know still having to serve divorce papers on Ross Stewart. So what's the moment where you start to realise, ah, yes, this is actually a career?
Oh, I mean, that's much later. Okay. So you want like the second act? Is that what you're saying? Well, I'd say the first act. I don't know. I feel like you're going towards a moment where it's like, yes, I'm an actor or I'm a star or I'm, you know, a success or... For me... It was somewhere in college at Northwestern where I was working with this group that we would later form a company. There's one guy in particular, David Catlin, brilliant actor and director.
He and I would be directing each other in different plays at Northwestern. And there was a moment where I realized, okay, this is what I am going to do with my life. I directed a play while at Northwestern. kind of grown-up version of Andre Gregory's Alice in Wonderland. And we took it to the Edinburgh Festival in Scotland. What year? This was in 87. Oh, that was the first year I was at the Edinburgh Festival.
Is that right? Yes, in the Roman Invasion of Ramsbottom, the National Youth Music Theatre production. I played Accrington Stanley. Carry on. No, no, we were there at the same time. Yeah, we were. I was at the George Square Theatre. I was 13 years old. Yeah. Where did you perform? Not there. I don't know. It was some church that was turned into a theatre and I was not 13. No. Sorry. I wasn't even born then, which is the irony. So you were there in 87 and everywhere. So how old were you then?
20. So we had taken this play there that I directed, and it was while we were there we saw Stephen Berkhoff's production of West. And that was... As a young company or group of actors, we were like, we have to do that play in the States. So just to explain to anyone who doesn't know who Stephen Birkhoff is. Right. Well, he's he's a great actor. He plays a lot of baddies in the movies. But for me, he I've just.
He's an incredible playwright, and we were absolutely gobsmacked seeing this production. It was a style of physicality, and his language was... evocative of Shakespeare. It was verse, but it was Cockney slang, and it was so meaty, and so it was just beautiful. And it was about a Jewish gang on the west end of London. And so... We were still students at Northwestern and we couldn't get the professional rights because we were kids at school, but we did it kind of.
illegally or whatever, non-professionally at Northwestern. And I played Mike, the lead in that play. And I think that experience of doing that play at that time in my life with this group of people directed by one of my best friends, David Catlin, that was the moment I was like, I'm doing this. Like, I'm absolutely doing this for life.
Before that moment, what did you think you would be? Well, my parents are both lawyers and I come from a family of professionals, you know, white collar professionals for the most part, a lot of lawyers. And I thought, even though I got bit by the bug of acting and directing early on, I thought, okay, I'm going to go to Northwestern. I'm going to get this.
college degree to fall back on in the likely scenario that I don't make it as an actor, right? And my parents were very strict about that. Like, we believe in you, like you've got talent, but it's very... Very hard. It's unlikely.
Right. You're going to make a living. So you got to go to college. I had exactly the same thing. Did you? Yeah. And your family as well. They just recognized my genius straight away. Did they? So it wasn't a problem because you ended up playing a lawyer as well, which we can come to later. Rob Kardashian. Nice transition. Thank you. He's the master of the segue. He really is. So let's say that's the big moment, the end, the first act of the movie.
Yeah, that would be another moment of just realizing, okay, this is what I'm going to do. So there's a difference between knowing what you want to do and becoming a star, or in your case, a superstar. I'm not comfortable with... uh superstar no no i'm i'm you knew i was gonna say that yeah you sorry well done well done thank you you guys are good i know you're good
I mean, for a podcast. Okay, so you're doing a production of a Stephen Berkhoff play, you know, sort of under the radar and you're loving it. You're loving it. But what's the difference then between... You loving it and then people loving you and knowing, you know, and you having a kind of success that no other actor has ever had, virtually.
All I knew is I, at that moment, I knew I was going to do this. And the next step was forming a theater company right out of college. Or while we were still seniors in college, we started Looking Glass Theater in Chicago. All the seniors did something called a senior showcase, where all these fancy LA and New York agents and managers came to Northwestern to watch all the graduating class perform a scene.
And I did a scene from Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead. Brilliant comedy. And a manager, an L.A. manager was like. I'm going to make you a star. You know, it was that thing. I need you to come to L.A. and, you know, I'm going to, you know, put you in movies. And we had just started a theater company. And so I...
At that point, I was actually quite confident and probably... a little overconfident and well there's the arrogance of youth because I think when you're young you just don't really realise you know the landscape do you you think oh I'm the funny one in the school play so therefore I must be the funniest person in the world and you haven't failed yet that's right that's right and at that time we were kind of the you know we were all graduating we were kind of like you know we were you know
Yeah, the shit at Northwestern graduating. And so I had... Don't say that about yourself. You're not shit. An overabundance, I guess, of confidence and... And so I this is what I said to my theater company. I said, listen, guys, I know we just started this. Here's the deal. I'm going to go out to L.A. with this woman. All right. I'm going to get some movies. I'm going to make like a million dollars and I'll be back in a year.
And I will have the money to build our first theater. And they all looked at me like, okay. Like, okay. Yeah. No, no, you do that. You do that. You go to LA. Where were you? Little faith. Right? Where were you before that? We were in Chicago. Chicago. So I did. I went to LA. I signed with this woman. I got a great agent. I started auditioning, like, you know, pounding the pavement like everyone else.
And after six months, I got I got like a job or two. But I was so I was so demoralized that I wasn't an immediate star that I was like, yeah, forget this. I'm moving back to Chicago. So I moved back to Chicago for two years and was doing theater with the company and everything.
waiting tables doing everything for seven years and then and getting a little job i'd fly back to la for a little bit i'd get a job here or there but you would never make enough money to quit waiting tables do any of those jobs stand out for you Yeah. I mean, a couple, but... Did you get to meet any of your heroes? Yes. Like, I got to meet Mike Nichols and Jack Nicholson. Wow. And I got to say one line in a movie with him, and that's why I did it. What was that movie?
It's called Wolf. Oh, yes, I've seen it. And I was a cop. Michelle Pfeiffer and Jack Nicholson. Yeah, and I handcuffed Jack Nicholson. And I had one line. I didn't care. I was working with two of my heroes. I don't remember. And what was Jack Nicholson like? He was great. He was great. I mean, and Mike Nichols may be most famous for The Graduate, directing The Graduate with Dustin Hoffman. And I was so impressed because I think 10 years later...
I had not seen or worked with Mike Nichols since, since that one line that I had. And 10 years later, I see him at some awards show and he goes, Schwimmer. And I'm like... Yeah. He goes, you remember working with him? I'm like, do I remember working? I just couldn't believe. I was just over the moon that he had remembered me from that moment.
And then, yeah, and then the big, I guess the big break is friends, right? So that would be the moment that would be, you know, part of one of the biggest life changing moments in this. movie of the week that no one's going to see about my life right when did you know that okay but at the time you auditioned for the show david you obviously haven't done your research um
I didn't audition for France. Oh, I'm sorry. So what happened? Google me. Try Googling me. We did. All kinds of stuff came up, David. It was very unsavory. So you didn't have to audition. I didn't know. That's not on Wikipedia. You didn't have to audition. How come? Basically, I had auditioned for...
the creators of Friends a year before for a pilot that they were doing called Couples. And I got to network. It was down to me and two other guys, one of whom was my close friend, Johnny Silverman. And I didn't get it. I didn't get it. Johnny got it. A year later, I'm doing a play on stage in Chicago playing Pontius Pilate.
I don't know why that's funny. So I cast again. It is funny. Play Pontius Pilate, of course. As you do. Yeah. As you do. We've all played him at some point in our lives. Yeah. And I get the call, you know, the offer for friends. Do you have a script at that point? Yeah, well, they sent me the pilot script. And it's a long story, but I basically said, no, I'm not doing any more TV. Because I had an unpleasant experience.
the year you know that year before on another show and as you know as an actor you have to sign a contract for five years and now it's six actually and i had i was having such a bad time in this other show
What is that show? It was a show called Monty with Henry Winkler. I was playing Henry Winkler's son, who is a gem. And I was having a great time with him and the cast. It was the process that... didn't suit me and i felt i can't i can never sign a contract again that long i will never do that again because it just had sucked a lot of my joy of acting and i was like i can't do that again you you said you turned it down when did you then change your mind well when i i agreed to
fly out to Los Angeles and meet with everyone, meet with the creators. And Jim Burroughs, who is a legendary director, had called me personally. And I was like, oh my God, Jim Burroughs. And he said, Schwimmer. You got to do this. You got to meet with them. And I couldn't say no to Jim Burroughs. He had famously directed Taxi, Cheers.
So I went to meet them in person and they assured me, first of all, they said, we wrote this with you in mind. They wrote Ross because they had remembered my voice from when I auditioned for them a year prior. And also, they guarantee that it was going to be a collaborative process, that I'd have a voice in it, in the creative process.
um also that it was an ensemble there wasn't one star it was like six people of equal you know status and and storyline and i and that was the thing the ensemble thing was the thing that That really got me. So I agree to do it. of course, really glad because it was an amazing... Otherwise you wouldn't be here today. Well, yeah, that's true. It was just an amazing creative experience, really. So, but when did you know, so you're signing up for a pilot with five other actors.
When do you know you're now sort of stepping onto a sort of juggernaut of a success? After we shot the pilot, which we all felt It just really felt like it really worked. You know, it was a live audience. So you really you have you can feel like, oh, there's there's something here. But of course, you never know. Like so many great pilots who just never picked up. Jim Burroughs took the cast to Vegas. I'd never first time and I'd ever been on a private plane. And he took the cast to Las Vegas.
This was before we were on the air or anything. Before, I think, we were officially picked up. But he knew because he's so experienced. He took his vase and... And I remember we were walking through the casino at one point, and he said to us, remember this moment. It's the last time you're going to be able to walk through a casino like this. And we're just like, okay.
basically with total anonymity. And he was right. And then it aired in the fall and became kind of almost instant hit. Yeah, because now you're banned from every casino in Vegas, aren't you? Yes, I wasn't going to make that public. No, sorry. Yeah, thanks. Sorry, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up. No, it's okay. So that's a powerful scene. The last time you're anonymous, which is what, 25 years ago, 30 years ago?
Well, it was 94. So 31 years ago was the last time you were anonymous. So that's a big scene in the movies. It feels like a very interesting scene that I thought I've never seen depicted before.
Is there anything you miss about being anonymous? Oh, God, yeah. It's like a certain freedom. And you have international fame. So me and Matt are kind of well-known-ish in the UK, but... well gladiator 2 obviously yeah international fame but i'm just saying domestic i'm not sure i like where this is going um but i'm saying you know
We can walk down the street in different countries and no one pays us any attention. I was heard Rowan Atkinson begged for Mr. Bean not to be shown in Italy so you have somewhere he could go on holiday. No, no, no, no, no. So this is everywhere for you.
absolutely everywhere in the world yeah so this is a turning point this scene it feels like from you being anonymous almost a cut to you in las vegas again being mobbed by elderly ladies the moment that i realized jim burrows was right i was at lax i was trying to catch a flight i'm not one of those actors that has like an entourage with me you know i it's me
Like, that's it. I just go solo. Yeah, there's 17 people just behind the curtain. You know, it's very low key. So I'm going through, you know, I've got a backpack, you know, my carry-on. I'm going through LAX, trying to find my flight. I hear a blood curdling scream. I was genuinely... I thought someone was being stabbed or something. And I'm like, what's what's what? And a group of girls come and like just accost me.
Like literally just scream and grab me. And I'm like, what? And they won't let me go. And I finally have to extricate myself from it. I mean, it was terrifying. It took me a long time to. get adjusted to that kind of fame. so glad that's no longer the case um well it is the case because the show is shown everywhere in the world at this moment in time it's probably on like 30 different channels but it's different you know at that time you had three car
following you everywhere you went, everywhere you went, staked outside your house. You had absolutely no privacy ever. Also, I suppose you had the advent of mobile phones, people being able to sneak photos of you. Yeah, that didn't start till later. I mean, this was 30 years ago or more. Luckily, that wasn't as prevalent. But you had electricity. So you're now on this incredible ride for how many years? 15 years, is it? Yeah. Well, the Friends chapter was 10 years. 10 years. Yeah.
Great 10 years. And so if it was the end of Act Two, the show coming to an end, was that a sort of bittersweet moment? Yeah, it was. That's exactly right. I mean, it was an incredible, life-changing chapter, that 10-year chapter. But at the same time, yeah, there was part of me, at least, that was ready for the next chapter.
coming to a natural end um maybe even overstayed its welcome a bit but we were still having so much fun doing it that it was time like i i was i was ready for what's next and i really wanted to direct more um so that was kind of and i wanted to do more theater so was it emotional sorry just to get back to was it emotional just knowing that was the final show and you're saying oh yeah i mean it was everyone
in tears yeah yeah for sure it was it was such an amazing professional and creative and you know just life-changing chapter and um and we loved each other i mean you know i mean there was so much love on with the crew that you know the cast the the writers it was just um It was just, you know, just an incredible collaborative experience. And yeah, it was just really great. And part of us knew we would never experience anything like it again.
I think that show is there's something very special about it, which is it's rare that you get a show that has such a long run that maintains the quality or even. continues to ascend throughout that run there's a few isn't there's Seinfeld that that generates so many episodes of such high quality and Curb Your Enthusiasm which obviously you were in as well is another show that just
made a lot of episodes and they're all really funny. And that's what- The Simpsons. The Simpsons. There's a few, South Park, there's a few shows that have a long run that continue to be funny throughout. And Friends is just one of- That's really a credit to the writers. I mean, to Marta, David, and Kevin Bright, their partner, executive producer and director. It's the three of them, really, that steered that ship.
quality control i mean they worked so hard so then if that's the end of what was considered act two of the movie which is actually a lovely sort of beautiful tearful emotional moment right And then we're starting this new adventure of Act Three. David, the director. I mean, it's an eight-act, right? It's an eight-act. Eight-act, yeah. It's a kind of mini-series. Yeah, thank you. But then you start- This is episode, so now we're on episode.
Before? Yeah. I know. But you start to do different kind of work you probably weren't, you know, weren't asked to do before. Obviously you're maturing as a man. You get to do different type of movies, different type of roles, character roles. You get to play Rob Kardashian in The People vs. OJ Simpson. You get to direct movies. You get to work with Matt Lucas and David Walliams. You directed some of our series? Yes, yes, yes. Thank you.
and also you know that obviously we're not going to go into personal things but like you know we've all been married and you know there's all those kind of personal adventures as well right yeah And so where is this part of your life heading? Where are we moving towards? If this was a movie, you know, in like an Elton John's movie, it moves towards him getting clean. And then, you know, we end with I'm still standing at the end. So where's, where's your movie heading?
See, this is why there shouldn't be a movie of me. There's not some great tragic moment. There's no struggle with... alcoholism or you know you know i've been very blessed right and I've been, you know, reasonably healthy. Yes, I've had drama in terms of loss, loss of friends, loss of family. You know, I've had heartbreak. You know, all that stuff. Greatest joy.
of my life as being a dad, but there's no, you know, I don't know what the story is beyond that. You know, so episodes four through eight are quite. But what about your child discovering the show? Because my son, Alfred, who you know, is 11, and he's just started expressing an interest in watching I Had a Little Britain and Come Fire With Me. And he's seen some of it, because I guess...
you know, people at school talk about it a bit. Right. There was a moment where your child was suddenly watching the show and you were sort of seeing bits and pieces of it again. Yeah, so I never watched the show after we finished it. I just... Same. I never watched your show. For me, it's like, I did it, I'm moving on. I don't really go back and revisit. But was it weird when your child was sort of watching? Well, I'm getting there, David. Oh, sorry.
Yeah, I mean, I think around, my kid discovered it around age nine or something and started watching it. And I have to say... Okay, I'll be really honest. There was a time for quite a while that just hearing the theme song would really... You know what I mean? I just have that reaction. I mean, I just had heard it.
so many times and well no one told you life was going to be that way correct thank you and anytime you'd go on a show or a talk show or an interview they'd always that would be your intro song so You know, I just didn't have the greatest response to it for a period of time. And then at about, as I say, age nine, my kid discovered it and started watching it.
I'd be making breakfast or whatever, and I'd hear my kids' laughter. My whole relationship to that song and to the show changed again. It's also like they're watching it of their own volition, not like David's. son who is made to watch yeah it is different when you don't force a child to watch your work to watch your work yeah and the books as well my god the poor i was so sorry he's going to be in therapy so sorry for david's son because every christmas
Is it Macano? Is it Lego? No. It's a first edition of the Williams book that he doesn't even write himself. And I just feel so sad for that kid. Yeah. It's going to be. It's abuse. It's going to be a journey for him. Yeah. a real journey. That's a lovely sort of ending of the film, I think, with you sort of, you know, not exactly making your piece, but you sort of, you know, feeling a little kind of emotional again about
you know, your child loving the show. There's a sort of lovely scene, it seems. I mean, that's the end of episode four, maybe. Yeah, there's four more. Let's go. You know that thing I said about the quality? being maintained. I don't know. What did you, I mean, obviously playing Rob Kardashian, did you spend time with the Kardashians at all? No. Have you met them? No.
Haven't you? No, what a question. We were going to this really heartwarming ending. You're making breakfast, which is a lovely scene. Just David doing a normal thing that, you know, he's very well known, but he still can make breakfast. I make really good breakfast. I know you do. And you're making breakfast and you hear the laughter and it feels like it's a lovely moment of peace. And then I come in talking about the Kardashians. Really unwelcome. This was a really interesting scene. Yeah.
Yeah, so you come into my kitchen talking. So let's forget everything Matt said. So there's this lovely, lovely scene. You're making eggs. Your child is laughing. Is this part of the edit? Is that why you keep repeating the scenes and sticking to the format? I'm trying to bring this to a close. But you forget Spike Jonze may be directing this whole podcast.
episode so don't worry about format it's much more interesting set it up again let's do it four times i think four is good so thank you so david You're making breakfast, let's say, scrambled eggs. Yeah. And you're whisking the eggs, then you put them in the pan, you add some butter and sauce. Then... Your child, you've made them, you've tied them up, you've made them watch all 200 fucking episodes of it. And you hear, you're not sure if it's tears or laughter.
The combination of both, because your child's now so tired, they don't know if they're laughing or crying. That's right. And you, for the first moment in your life, feel happy. That's right. You've achieved everything you set out to achieve. That's right. So will this movie... Sink or swim. I like what you did there. Well, sink or swim. Sink or swim.
What do you think? Do you think it'll be a hit or not? Thank you for the interpretation. I didn't understand. But it wasn't clear. The swim being the hit or the sink. Thank you. I don't think it'll swim. Really? I think it would. I think people love you. They love you as the gay giraffe. They love you in all kinds of roles. It's like gay. Well, I've sounded gay on the film. Really?
Did he really? Do you know what? It's a really funny performance. Because when you become a dad, you end up, you know, they're like Madagascar. You don't watch it once. You watch it like twice a day for like five years. And it's so witty what you do there. Oh, thanks. Has your son seen it? Yeah, he loves it. Okay. Are you actively avoiding the Kardashians?
No. There's nothing to do. He played the part. John Travolta was in it. Have you met the Kardashians? No. I'm not high enough up the food chain. I've met them. Oh, no, I have. I've met one Kardashian. I did. At the premiere of Wonka. Oh, here we go. Timothy Chalamet, because I was in Wonka. Timothy Chalamet. That's who would play me, by the way, if I didn't play myself. Yeah, that's good casting. Thank you. So at the premiere, I met the Kardashian that Timothy Chalamet dates.
Which is... Kylie Jenner. This is good stuff. This is gold. Okay, so Sink or Swim starring David Schwimmer as David Schwimmer. The story of your life directed by the very cool Spike Jones, which I think is a good idea. Or Jesse Eisenberg. Or Jesse Eisenberg. But I think that's a good idea if you're playing yourself as a kid. And it's a story about a little boy. With a dream. That dream comes true. Then it turns into a nightmare. Because of this. Yeah. And then it becomes a dream again.
But then it ends on a nightmare. No, it becomes... It's a sort... It's not a nightmare. Let me start again. That was a wonderful summary. Yeah, it was a really good summary. That really cleared it up. Yeah. So it starts... It's... I'm making breakfast.
That's how it ends. Maybe you're eating breakfast in the first scene and then at the end you're cooking breakfast. That's what I was going to say. I'm having the same breakfast as an eight-year-old when I make my mom laugh that I make for my own eight-year-old later. Beautiful. See? That's a great idea. Anyway, I've really had enough talking to you. That's the end.
That's a wrap. We hope you enjoyed this week's episode of Making a Scene. Remember, you can follow us on Instagram and TikTok at Making a Scene Pod. And don't forget, you can follow or subscribe to the show on Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. And if you enjoyed today's episode, please leave. And make sure to take a look at our bonus episode, You Can't Ask Me That, which releases every Thursday where we answer your questions no matter how ridiculous or rude. See you again soon.