8 - The Past Is The Past

I want to look my best. What are you calling someone? I want to be my boss? Look at what I can do? Okay, talking points experience. Look at what I can do, mommy? When please look at Caitlin. Mom stop jumping on the bed. How many times have I told you that? Look? How high? Stop it? Sorry, mommy, look sweetie. This call is very important for mommy. Okay, can you just, I don't know, go play in the front yard for

a little bit. Will I take this? Will you come play with me after only if you're a good girl and you stay out of the streets. No buts, no street, it's dangerous. What if my ball goes out in the street, then I'll get it later, got it, Caitlin, got it? Okay? Good now run along, okay, okay, said, you can do this. Take a deep breath to be confident and show them that you're the best person for this. Okay, here we go. Breathe. Hi. Hi, Yes, that's me and I'm Captain Kevin Prescott. It's a pleasure

to meet you. It's a pleasure to meet you too, Captain Owens. Really it's an honor to even be considered for this. So thank you for the opportunity, and please just call me said in that case, call me Kevin, uh, and thank you for taking the time today to speak with me. I know you've already been through a few rounds of interviews, and I assure you that this is just a formality, more of a personality test, if anything,

to see. How course, I know it's all a bit top secrets, so I'm not sure how much they told you about Project Magmal, but I can tell you a little bit about my role here if you'd like, Oh, yes, of course, please you. I mean I did my due diligence to learn as much as I could about it

when this opportunity arose. But the specifics I've been in the dark about Well, Um, I am one of the special project directors on it, and I've been beer heading a few of the ongoing studies, including the n gc SE Are you familiar with I am actually Helix nebula, one of my favorite nebulas. That's not too nervous to say. No, No, not at all. On't the color me impress. It's something I've been reading about since I was a little girl

and it's always fascinated me. Well, it sounds like this might be right up your alley, then, But before we get into that, what can you tell me about you? I've already run over your resume and your history and all that, and it is fascinating your whole course of study. But tell me about Sydney Owens. Who is she? How

did she get here? That? That's definitely a loaded question. Um. Well, as you know, my background is in biology originally, but I sort of created my own course of study during my PhD program with astro biology, and I kind of took bits and pieces from other programs they had available to suit it towards the biology of space, how we can study things out there and how it affects us.

I supplemented that with astronomy, concentrating not just on what we do know abouter space, but also theoretical astronomy as well. Why theoretical astronomy, I guess because we know so little about what's out there. We know a lot about what we do know, but there is a big, big world beyond that. So trying to figure out what else could be out there and what it means for science was a big part of why I sort of charted my own course. That is exactly the kind of thing we're

looking for. Project Magma is really trying to branch our crrent knowledge and expanded There are so many things that we are hoping to check off the list with this, and on my end, that really extends to quite a few different areas. But I guess the reason I'm talking to you specifically today is that there is a very particular aspect of the n GC seven two nine three mission that I thought you might be perfect for. Can

you tell me more about it? I'd love to, but honestly, my hands are a bit tied from speaking freely of it at the moment. But I can say that you are on the very very short list of candidates. Can tell you that we are just under two years out from our projection launch date of it, though, and well, I am just the director at the moment. I'm trying to be one of the pilots. Oh, that's wonderful. So it is an exploration, like I have heard. I can at least tell you that much. Yes, but if I

get my way, we may just be coworkers. But I do have to let you know that the project Magmill is a huge commitment and it takes up a lot of my time. My wife is also working on it, which is nice for me since I get to work so closely with her, but it's a huge time suck for everything else, which leads me to my next question. You have a daughter, right, Yes, I do. She is full of energy and she's only six years old. I

wish I had some first bunk still. That would certainly help with some of the late night research sessions, that's for sure. Well, she sounds wonderful. I absolutely love to meet her sometime she's running around somewhere outside. But hey, we'll be sure to introduce you when I can. And Mr Owens, yes, we're divorced, so he gets Caitlin every other week. Amicol for the most part, but he's a

good dad and Caitlin will be staying with him. If I'm brought on for this, let me ask you this, If you were chosen for Project Magma, what would it What would you want to find? Honestly, just a better understanding of the world we live in would be enough. You know, people are just so close minded and take the Earth for granted. We are born here and most people will die here too. They don't think beyond its borders.

And even though we as humans have been slowly dipping our toe into deep space exploration, there is so much more we can learn from it. There is so much we don't understand and we can really benefit from. There are the big picture questions like what does it all mean, where did it all come from, how did these balls of gas form? What causes some of them to create life?

That kind of stuff, but also the more practical ones like how to survive in environments that are not like our own, how to grow food there quantum physics, that sort of thing. I like the way you think that that's exactly what we're looking for. We truly believe that a lot of the things coming out of Project Magma will help change the worth and for the better. We've already had some promising results, and we hope to increase those penfold in the next few years. And that is

something I would love to be a part of. It really seems like this is the type of project where I could just thrive and I would really be an asset to the team. I am sorry, could you could you excuse me for just a moment? Yes, there seems to be a commotion outside, would you? Would you give me a second? I just I need to check on my daughter. I don't want her near any of it, of course, of course, pick your time. Thank you, Caitlin, Caitlin, Kate, Kate?

Where are you? Sweetie? Kay away? Dr Are you there? Mag Mill Episode eight? The past is the past? What would you do? Do you have a chance to saying over again? What would you do do? Yeah? Good morning, Magma crew. Today is March. You are currently one hundred kilometers from the helix Nebula. Congratulations, ladies. After seven hundred fifty four days, today is the day your mission finally comes to fruition. Good morning, Tea is Jenna wat She

is not. She will likely ignore the morning chime another time or two, like usual before getting up. She did have a little too much again last night. I'm sure her head is killing her. I'll be sure to have aspirin at the ready. Do you want me to prepare breakfast? Actually no, I'll do it. I feel like I should make a good one with it being a big day and all. I'll begin the rehydration process of the eggs. Then, thank you. Jenna is awake. Oh good, I'm almost done. Well,

there she is. Good morning's sleepyhead? Why is t ving? Oh? What's wrong? Nothing? I just thought I heard Jenna. Here she comes now said proteuce is being a prick again. Strange? What's strange? I just had the strangest never mind, Okay, don't you think it's a little too early for strangeness. Anyway, I made you breakfast because you know we're going to be busy later. And thank you. Baking in eggs looks like someone went through the trouble of rehydrating the good

stuff today. Must be a special occasion. Yeah, special, Like I just said, I know, I just had a feeling you were going to say that. I'm just glad you went through all that and not me, because we both know I would have given up on stuff too. Yeah, okay, are you okay? I think so. I don't know. I feel strange, strange, how like deja vu? Is that why you're finishing my sentences? I don't know. I just heard what you're gonna say before you say it. Is that weird? Yeah,

that's super weird, Sydney Funk. I didn't know you had psychic abilities and your psyche profile, let alone that they would manifest on the most important day of our vibes. I'm sorry, It's just I don't know. I I feel like I'm hearing flashes or something, probably just your nerves. Have a seat eating breakfast. We have a big day ahead of us. Fuck the nebulaus close, so let's get ready for it. Okay, yeah, yeah, okay, Magmal will return after these messages. And now back to mag Mill. I've

never seen this before. Something is off, way off, because none of this makes sense. Magmal's status report, communication systems are offline, sensors are offline. Engined damage at six replacement for Quartona them. There's another ship out there. We either try to get out of this ourselves or we die a slow, painful death when we run out of oxygen. Jenna Janna, do you read me, Janna? Today is March. This is Sydney Session number five for three. Hello Sydney.

How are you today? I'm stressed, to be honest with you, understandably so given the circumstances. Don't you think the entire day has been a massive ship show, that's for sure. Do you want to talk about what happened? What else is there to talk about? I'm still feeling off about everything. Let's start with that feeling deja vu? You called it. I don't know what it is, but something feels wrong, Like I felt like I know what Janna is going to say before she says it. Do you feel like

that all of the time? No, just sometimes, like I get a flash and hear it in my head before she says it out loud. Today has been very stressful, so don't discount that being the cause of it. The human mind is a fascinating machine, and sometimes wires get crossed. Deja vu is essentially a malfunction in a way, our brain is tricking us into believing we have seen or heard something before, when in fact it is new information being mislabeled. Yeah, but how does that explain how I

was able to finish her sentences. You two have been close for a long time. You've been on this ship together with no other interaction, so you are bound to pick up on her speech patterns. I don't know. This just feels like more than that, though. What about when Jenna was on her ship walk on the other ship, How was that for you? Nerve wracking honestly and infuriating. I hate that she feels like she can't trust me still,

and I don't know. I I feel like I come off as an overprotective mother sometimes, especially when she was over there, I feel like I was watching her every move, trying to be there for her, to to prepare her for anything that may come her way, but also feeling helpless because she was there and I was here. But again understandably so it could have been a dangerous situation.

So you were expressing your concern. No, I was just scared for her, and when the radio went dark, I just I couldn't help but feeling hopeless for Jannah, Well, yes, but also for me. What do you mean, what if something happened to her over there, what would happen to me? I'd I'd be left alone and I'd have no idea what to do. Spiraling into negative thoughts like that is dangerous for you, Sydney. You worked on this before, on ways to help you not to go down that path.

I know. And even though it was only for a few minutes, when she came back online, it was so relieved. But even now I can't help but feeling like something had happened to her over there, something she isn't telling me. Is this more of your deja vu feeling? I don't know for sure, It's different but the same. I just felt like when I couldn't reach her, when it was only static, I heard something something like what like a voice, not Janni's but someone else's. As I said at the time,

I did not detect anything on my sensors. It was likely the stress of the situation playing tricks on your mind, I know. But the voice it was, it was what Sydney. It sounded like Caitlin. I know, I know that sounds crazy. At first I thought it was coming from out side, outside the ship itself, calling out to me, but I now know it was just in my head. My mind was manifesting it for some reason because it's it was just so stressful and so familiar. What did you hear

her say? She said, help me. She said she was so cold she couldn't get warm, which you realize is significant. Because of I realized that significance. Thank you. Are you okay? I don't know, am I? Your heart rate is elevated and your body temperature has gone up, So that's a no. I know it's been three years, but I can't seem to get over it. The death of a child is not something anyone can just get over. It is something that they carry with them for the rest of their lives,

knowingly or not. But what parents sequesters themselves into a spaceship thousands of miles away to get away from it while still talking back to the same three video recordings oh, over and over to relive those moments. Yes, that is unusual, but to be fair, I do indulge you in that sometimes when I feel you've had a particularly rough day or are in need of a pick me up, you know, sometimes I watch those videos and and it's almost like I'm looking at an echo from the past, at a

life that doesn't exist anymore. At Sydney, She's she was a different person then, and I don't think that person that version of said exists anymore or can never exist again. I don't think you give yourself enough credit. Though you were cleared for Project Magma, even after everything you had gone through. Command may have had their doubts on if you would be able to handle it, but you passed all the evaluations. You clearly made a lot of progress.

But I feel like I'm regressing now. I can't help but feel like maybe I just lied to myself back then, that I that I put on a show for myself and for everyone else because I had to get away. I couldn't be in that house anymore. I couldn't be in that city. Hell, I couldn't be on the same planet. So I did what I could to get away, to get to where I am. Now, you're still undermining your

successes and achievements. You've made great strides. Maybe I have to, but I've come to realize that when you were in space and you're isolated away from everyone and everything else, you have nowhere else to go. You have to confront your feelings, you have to sit with them and face them head on, And a part of me regrets it. Now you're blaming yourself again, and you can't do that. You're not responsible. But I am responsible. I am sponsible,

and in a way, so is Magmo. If if I only paid more attention to her that day, if I didn't tell her to go outside spiraling down that negative thought path again, just gone outside, take a moment to breathe and reflect. The past is the past, and we can't change it now. But what if we can. If we can, what change it? Change things for the better? If we can go back and we can do it all again. I would take it all back in a heartbeat. I'd not take that call. I wouldn't even apply to

Project Magmo. I'd do it all differently. Hell, I'd even stop us from going on this damn mission to begin with. We'd stay far far away from the stupid Nebula and save us the trouble. Sydney. Please, what's done is done. Even if you could go back, if you could change thing, you don't know if things would be better. The only thing we do have is the present, and we need to make the most of it. Yeah, I think here is a good place to stop for the day. Perhaps

you should make yourself something to eat. You might feel better. Actually, I thought I'd take a look at that idle Janna brought back to see if I could make any sense of it. That's an excellent idea. I'm happy to assist while I wait for Janet to finish her shower. Yeah, knowing her, she's probably going for double length extra again today, it seems likely. And Sydney, Yeah, it's not your fault. Remember that. Okay, Yeah, you got it. It's it's not

your fault. Fault. It's not not not not your fault. It's your fault, your fault, your your your your your fault. M worry mag Mill will returned after these messages, and now back to mag Mill. What happened on the ship, Janna? Some of these readings they matched some of the stuff I found on the skin of the mold. Why didn't you see any money? So what about the idol? Then one step closer and I swear I'll smash it. Look what you did? Fuck this t land, the fucking ship.

I'm going out there. This was a bad fucking idea. What was Janna out there all alone on this fucking planet? Why did we let her go? We didn't have much of a choice. When Janna gets an idea in her head, you know how stubborn she is about it, but we don't know what's out there. It could be dangerous. We are on an alien planet, yes, but I am sure she can handle herself. I'm not getting any readings from this planet either. Are your scans working they are? There

must be some kind of interference. I'm sure it will pass. Can you raised Jenna on the comms? Unfortunately No, the interference is extending to short range transmissions as well. Fuck. This isn't right. Something is wrong. You are stress, Sydney. You are overreacting to an already tense situation. I am not overreacting. Something is very, very wrong here. I can feel it. I am not detecting any changes in the environment. She has hand yourself perfectly, all things considered with the

situation the net. Your insubordination? What insubordination? I'm sorry? What did you just say about my insubordination? I didn't say anything. You did disobey a direct order. I did not disobey an order. Janna is not my superior where the same rank, Sydney. Are you all right? Yes? But functionally speaking, Janet is in charge of the spasia. Do you hear that? But she's also supposed to be my friend she doesn't have the right to boss me around like that. I do

not detect anything. How could you not? Maybe it's where's the idol? It's gone, Sydney. We threw it away, But where is it? I can hear it? There is nothing to hear. It's gone, smashed into pieces, incinerated in the trash, shoot and purged. What is wrong? Okay? Tell me what do we know about it? Is it? Is it connected to the mold in any way? Sydney? I don't think that. Now. Tell me what do we know? We don't know much.

We can infer that the idol was likely made by the natives of this planet to pay tribute to something a god of their own invention, most likely, what do

you mean? It is similar to the ancient cultures on Earth in a way, when faced with things they do not understand, even things we now know are explainable by science, they create stories and myths around them to comprehend, like how the burning ball of light in the sky was moved by the gods creating day and night, or how squids and whales were thought to be sea monsters before

the ocean was explored. The inhabitants here they likely created a story around the creature the idol represents to explain something that happened. So it's not a real thing. It's a story. Well, we don't know for sure, but that is the most likely scenario. No, No, it's care happy that stay then away from me. Why is it speaking to me? It was speaking to you. I heard it. I'm still here, now, can't you. I am not detecting anything off. It's Jenna. She's in trouble. I can assure

you that she is not. She is doing fine out there. All of her vitals are normal. Then raise her. I can't. The interference is still blocking it, but her vitals are getting true. Yes, then you have her coordinates. Where is she, Sydney. I don't think you should. Where is she? She needs my help? Stop help me. I am sending them to you now, but it could be dangerous for you to go out there. You shouldn't. She is in troubled. I just can't sit here and let her die. Janna, Janna,

are you there, Jenna? Help me? Mommy Caitlin. Caitlyn is that you? Oh? No, I can't be here. Get yourself together, Sidney, Caitlin is dead. Help me, please, money, I'm so cold. God can't be heard. But it's just like her. Whatever, Caitlyn, it's mommy, I'm here, sweetie, had it's mommy. It hurts, sweet baby. Please just tell me where you are for here, I'm coming. Just stay calm okay, but it's too late for me. Money, I'm gay. No, no, baby, you're not.

I can hear you. Where are you? You weren't there for me? And now like God, we know and s Janna will be too. But you can join us. Mommy, you can stay here and stay with me. Jenna. Janna is in trouble. It's too late for you. Aren't real. And Jenna she needs me, She needs me, Jenna, Jenna, Jenna, I hear you. I'm coming. Oh Jenna, look what you've done? Help man? Stop fighting at Jenna. Ok here we go. What are you doing to me? It's too late, Mommy. You can't save her. You can stay with me. I can't.

I have to do this, but you don't. Don't glad for me, baby, I do so so so much. Of course I do stay with me, both of you. Fair, Fair, this isn't real. She's ours. Should stay no, damn it, no die here alone like you let me guy. No, you you're not my daughter. Do you hear me? You're not my Caitlynch? She is gone and you're not her. Now leave us alone, said, come on, let's go, Janno. We gotta get you out of here before that thing gets here. Fun? Fun, fuck? What is going on? We

are stuck in the gravitational poll of the black hole? Fun? How long do we have? Collision with its nexus? In approximately thirty seconds? H oh fuck? No no, no, no, no, no, Sydney. Weren't you there for me? Mommy? I can hear her? Still, Sydney? This isn't the time? Is there? Caitlin? Caitlin warning, impact imminent? Can be there for me? Man? How how can I be? You just need to do? What? What do I need to do? What do I remember? I remember? I remember everything?

What would you do if you have the chance to do things over again? What would you do? Do? Thing? Good morning, Magmal crew. Today is March. You are currently one hundred kilometers from the helix Nebula. Congratulations ladies. After seven hundred fifty four days, today is the day your mission finally comes to fruition. Mag Mel starring Ali Trasher, Julia Henning and b j Gribb. Additional voices in this

episode provided by cat Ton Chanko and Mac Manson. Written by Jeff Heimbuck and Lindsay Skaggin, Directed and edited by Jeff Heimbuck. Produced by Jeff Heimbuck and Ali Trasher. Executive produced by Holly Fry. Audio engineered by Corey Celeste and Alex Gona. Original musical score by Corey Celeste. Additional songs by The Ramikins as played by Roscoe Soul Train. Magmal is a production of I Heart Radio and Bamfer Productions. Questions comments email us at Project Magmal at gmail dot com.

Until next time, We'll see you when we see you.