Were you a monster movie person growing up?
I don't know about monsters, but I did. I did like vampires, Like I was this monster. Yeah, I was like, yeah, I mean I when I think of monsters, I think of like.
Godzilla and what.
On the like the space crazy that I was never really interesting.
About the arm. The arm movements are not selling me on what you're trying to say. Space. Which one are you talking? Were you talking about like Independence Day aliens you talk about?
Yes, yes, that kind of stuff got the ones that there was someone someone that was always with the with Godzilla, it was Godzilla and against some else.
Are you thinking of King Kong and Godzilla?
No, there was.
I was more alien like he had tentacles and like that's probably Mathra you're thinking.
Okay, okay, Keeley was kind into that.
I know that aliens those are all regular creatures from Earth that were irradiated in the nuclear bombs and that's why they grew so big.
And yes, I obviously.
Obviously no, No, I was more. I did like vampires. Buffy the Vampire Slayer was I loved that show, watched.
It, you know, beginning to end. That was my my jam.
Which so when flight came out and I wasn't really stoked on Twilight.
Twilight so much it was the best thing ever.
I'm kidding. It was awful.
You hated it.
I just did. It just wasn't for me. I don't feel like I was kind.
Of moved past that, that love of the you know, Angel and a Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
When when he was done, I think I was done. I think we were all.
Is that David Rora Borealis? Is that the guy who played Angel?
Okay, that's how I thought.
Okay, Heart the Rob, Yes.
I have no idea what you just said Heart Rob the Rob, And I'm like, what does Heart the Rob mean?
Heart?
Okay, Okay, I've never seen an episode of Buffy in my life. I saw the movie, but I never actually saw Buffy. So I'll have to go back and watch.
Yeah, I mean I don't think I probably I probably won't like it.
Now, who knows you're gonna do a deep dive. We'll figure it out. But welcome back to Magical Rewind, the show that makes you want to grab your friends, your PJS, and your popcorn and go back to a time when all the houses were smart. The waves tsunamis and the high School's musical. I'm Wilfordell and I'm Sabrina Bryan Oo. It's time we dive into the only d com that exposes the truth about online dating. It's the two thousand horror comedy Mom's Got a Date with a Vampire. It's
another Halloween dcom. We're hit and all the Halloween ones right now. As it originally aired on October thirteenth, two thousand and this is well before what we were just talking about, Twilight and the young adult vampire craze. So once again Disney on the forefront. They always seem to be right there, right at the front of every new craze that's coming up, So once again ahead of their time.
Lots of grown ups in this film too, with a focus we usually don't see on a full family, mostly because we have some very familiar faces when it comes to the post pubescent cast members.
I don't ever want to say that sentence again.
This movie was produced by a man who, frankly, we think deserves a little bit of magical rewind love.
His name was Don Shane. I hope I'm saying that right.
It's Shai n and Don started his career making softcore, low budget exploitation films. I know you're gonna be like, why are you giving him love? But here we go. He made films like Ginger Too Hot to Handle and Girls Are for Loving actual title. Those are all movies that he wrote indirected in the seventies that couldn't be less ready for the Disney Channel. Bick, I mean geez.
But in nineteen ninety one he decided to move to wait for it, Salt Lake City, Utah, which again has become another character on Magical Rewind to produce movies, and in turn he became a go to creative for the Disney Channel and they're made for TV movies and was later named the first president of the Motion Picture Association of Utah, And so he became the liaison for Disney and the state that would become synonymous with the DCOM, working with and setting up crew members and location and
doing all the nuts and bolt stuff for the filming in Utah, which is where, as we've talked about, ninety percent of his decoms were shot.
So here's why we think he.
Deserves a little bit of love on the show, because here's a list of the dcoms that this prolific man, mister Shane produced Here We Go, Don't Look Under the Bed, Mom's Got a Date with a Vampire, The Luck of the Irish, Hounded, The poof Point, Double Teamed, Ride on Track, Pixel Perfect, Going to the Mat, Halloween Town High and Return to Halloween, Buffalo Dreams, Go Figure, Life is Rough, Read It and Weep Minute Men, Dad Napped, Den Brother
and High School Musical one, two and three. Not rely a list, to be honest, it's a terrible dcom list.
Very short lived, very short lived.
Yeah, so this man needed some love, because Wow, So we found the man who brought the dcom to Utah, a vital piece to the production team and the lore of Murray High School. Shane unfortunately passed away in twenty fifteen at the age of seventy four, but his effect on the Disney Channel is still felt today, and so we here at Magical Rewind want to say don Shane,
we speak your name, we see you, Thank you. Mom's Got a Date with a Vampire is streamable on Disney Plus right now, so you can listen to us first and go check out the movie, or do that in reverse.
But if you don't do either.
You will be prosecuted. It's a law.
Go check it out, Sabrina.
This is the time where I ask you, what did you know about Mom's Got a Date with the Vampire before? It was a signed to us as our dcom homework, our domework. No, I don't like that. Let's just say docom homework.
Okay, honestly nothing.
Even when we started to know, we haven't gotten started talking about the movie. But even as we started, I paused, went and looked back to make sure it was a d com. You know within the credits that it wasn't something that was on ABC because a wonderful Yeah, there were so many adults right from the start, and we'll get into it, I know, but the content from the start, the very clear dynamic of the family was.
Very different than we've seen before.
Yeah.
So I honestly had no idea about this movie. But I was excited because I love these Halloween.
Movies that we're doing. They're fun. There is that time of year. I'm for it.
Let's get spooky, Let's get spooky. I like it. I don't even know why I do this segment of the show. Of course, I've never heard of this movie or having anything to do with it now, before you call Malachi van Helsing to investigate, let's get into the synopsis. Ldren set their mother up. Well, set their mother up. That's an interesting way to put it. We will get into that later with a mysterious man not realizing he maybe one of the undead Sabrina. Did you online date before Jordan? No?
Thank god, never, never, never, not an app. Nope, they I don't even think they had. They might have had match dot com happening this okay, two thousand.
And oh gosh, when did we meet? It was before the whole situation. I can't even think of a year right now.
I think it was twenty ten. Twenty eleven is when I met.
Oh, okay, so you're closer to possibly. I mean that there had happened some dating stuff.
It was, but it wasn't big, and it wasn't too long after that my friends started bumble and all of that stuff, and oh my gosh. All I could just pray was it worked out with Jordan? Because it looked like a nightmare. It did not look fun good.
I just, you know, I give it to people that that's the only way they able to meet meet, you know, new people.
I understand the need for it because now thinking about meeting someone in.
A bar or out that feels weird now too.
So it's like nine out of ten relationships now start online. Number of dentists that recommend dent just it's.
A lot of different work.
And I do remember because I was on tour a lot when I was kind of dating, so I did have that our relationship or getting to know each other happened over text, you know, so sending the message, waiting for the reply. So I did have that as a dating situation with people that i'd meet along the way while we were on tour through friends, things like that. But it was always through friends. It was never someone I did not know and didn't have any idea of
their background at all. And that's where I think it can get scary in my head. But you know, that was tough enough. Waiting for someone to text you back is like what do you know? And trying to be witty and trying to show your personality. But some of that text but yeah, with the people around you, it's not really your personality because everyone's putting their two cents on how to like respond, you know, oh.
Right, right?
That group dating, Yes, it's tough.
That's how it was for me. I mean, it would go he texts back, what did he say? Okay, okay, what should we say?
What do we say? And it's like, oh, oh, nightmare.
That sounds awful. Yeah, that sounds awful. It really does.
Anyway, you didn't right, No, no online dating.
No online deb No. I found the internet like a month ago.
So no.
I've known my wife now going on twenty five years. Wow. I love it that we've.
Known each other twenty five years. We've been together.
Fourteen okay, and tomorrow is our eighth wedding anniversary.
Wow.
Yeah, we're kind of along the same timeline because Jordan and I are about thirteen fourteen, and in a couple of weeks on the sixth is our sixth year.
Okay.
So yeah, we're good over it.
Yeah, we're getting there, which which is good.
So and Sue and I have both said this is it. We're too tired to try to find anybody else. We're together forever. That's just to have to happen. It's just how it is.
Now.
What did you think of the movie.
Well, the movie, I feel like.
I right from the start I liked it. I thought it was the perfect combination of it wasn't super scary. Obviously, there were some major questions. Again, now I'm starting to tap into the mindset of when it comes to magical situations, I need, I.
Need the will answers, the will rules.
So there are a couple of missteps in that sense, but in general, I liked it.
It was a little fun.
Little like I said, let's get spooky, but it's fun spooky, it's not yet right.
What about you?
I honestly, and this is the god's honest truth, I don't know how I feel about this movie. Okay, I don't know. I didn't really love it, but I also didn't dislike.
It in any way, shape or form. I'm wondering if now.
We're just watching so many back to back to back that I'm just starting to get a little bit of whiplash.
Uh huh.
So it could be that a little bit. Maybe it could have been that I'm exhausted. You know, there's a lot of things that go into it. So I I zipped through it the second time. Again, not a bad movie, exactly what you said. It's yeah, it's a decom It's it is now I'm I'm now able to look at the time when these dcoms were made and be able to point out the time, like I could tell this was an early two thousands dcom. I could just you could tell. Uh So, Yeah, didn't dislike it, didn't love it.
Maybe as I talk about it more, I'll lean one way or another.
But it could because we're just such a fan of musicals.
Now, that's what it is. There was not enough musical numbers. Nobody was dancing.
It way past the line, and you know, there's just no going back for you.
Unless there is a big, choreographed dancing. I didn't buy he was a vampire exactly.
God, we're all in this together.
There you go, Well, there you go. I knew it. It only took us for five episodes.
I am a secret musical fan. Okay, So mom's got a date with the vampires. Directed by a name we keep repeating here on Magical rewind Steve Boyam. He is the legendary stuntman turned director who is behind some of the best d comes ever Johnny Tsunami, Motocrossed and Stepsister from Planet Weird. He since become a TV director with episodes of Numbers, Criminal Minds, and The.
Boys under his belt.
The movie stars Matt O'Leary as Adam Hansen, the oldest son. This was Matt's first gig ever in Hollywood. He'd go on to star in Spy Kids two and three, appear in Ryan Johnson's breakout film.
Brick and and just a.
Few years ago, pop up in five episodes of Agents of Shield, which is I mean, he was the star of the movie, your first ever gig, and you're that's heavy lifting for your first job.
I thought he'd agree.
I would never have guessed this was his actual job. That's insane.
It was three great Disney kids. It really was. Once again, you've got Laura Vandervoort is the daughter Chelsea, one of the other kids. She's a Canadian actress and has been a mainstay on the Canadian screen, which is the same as an American television screen, by the way, just a lot more apologetic. But you may know her as Supergirl on Smallville or.
As Lisa on v that's v not five.
By the way. Miles Jeffrey is the youngest tailor, and I recognize him the second he popped on screen. He's worked a ton as a little kid, appearing in action Classics Face Off, which I knew him from right away. Great movie in a horrible way. Five episodes of Beverly Hills nine oh two one zero and Boyam's other dcom one of his other Dcom's Stepsister from Planet Weird. Even before this movie. Those are movies that he did so a vet, I mean a vet actor, and he was
probably seven when he did this movie. Eight years old. Yeah. And then you've got the very familiar Caroline Ray plays the titular mom. Lynette, the stand up comedian is very well known to the Disney demo as Hilda Spellman on Sabrina the Teenage Witch and as the voice of Linda on Phineas and Ferb. She'd star in movies like Christmas with the Cranks and The Perfect Man with Hillary Duff, and from twenty nineteen to twenty twenty two she was back on the Channel as the mom in Sydney to
the Max. Then you've got Charles Shaughnessy, who is Dmitri the Natos, although he didn't really have that thicken accent.
I added a little bit the questionable love interest.
He is best known, of course as Maxwell Sheffield on The Nanny and Shane Donovan on almost Ready for this twelve hundred episodes of Days of Our Lives or in small Yay in soap opera terms, one full season, yes, twelve hundred episodes of Days of Our Lives. He'd also appear on Hannah Montana, mad Men and reunite with Caroline, this time as a witch on Sabrina just a year after.
This movie aired.
And in the Coleman Reynolds Chair, we have Robert Carrodine as Malachi van Helsing. Robert will always be known as Lewis Skullnik in the Revenge the Nerds movies, but he also played Sam on Lizzie McGuire and the dcom and appears in the movie Escape from La in a you wouldn't even recognize him role. And he is the half brother of David Carradine, who was of course from the old school show Kung Fu?
Did you recognize anybody in this one?
I recognize the date, the dadmy Coleman seat. I recognized it, but I could not figure out where those little movies. I could not figure it out until luckily we get our inframos out before and I.
Went, that's where it was. And of course he's from that movie, and so it was great.
I loved so I got I did see that before the second time I watched, so it made me love it even more.
I thought he was hilarious, So.
He was great. He was great. I will give you five dollars right now if you can tell me the name of the fraternity that he was in in Revenge of the Nerds and or the college that they were at.
No. Ninety to fifty dollars. No, the delping.
The money is not helping the del No. Well okay, so no, they were the Lambda Lambda Lambda chapter of Adams College, Thank you very much. Okay, this is why I didn't need those dating apps at all, Sabrina, because this was my life. The movie is exactly eighty five minutes long, which is five below the ideal ninety, but again, too little is better than too much in my opinion, and was written by Robert Keats, a writer on Happy Days name Happy Days and The Down and Out. In
Beverly Hill's TV adaptation, he shares credit with Lindsey. I want to say this right, Nathon's I think who this is the only imd listed Hollywood job is this movie? Okay, so why don't you go put on a nice dress because we're getting fanged here people. The movie opens, lying no doubt that we are in for a spooky one. Full moon bats, scary music, and the credits. We are at a large castle, medieval looking even. A horse and carriage pulls up, and a debonier man wearing a typical
vampire costume exits the carriage. He's followed by a pretty woman in a white gothic dress. He welcomes her to the castle of Count Krelski. Then Victor, another man dressed similarly but with a goateee, and somehow a much less evil feeling vibe yells out release how you monster? But Maria is in Count Krelski's power. Now, Victor with the goatee, begs her to come to him. Their love is more
powerful than a vampire's trance. She abruptly comes out of her trance, screaming and running to her partner for an embrace. Krelski is not impressed. The sound of the night will chill the lovebird's soul, and then we hear a phone ringing, Now, were you fool? Did you think this was going to be the opening of the movie we were watching?
Or did you know this was going to be like, uh yeah, I was in it. First thing.
I'm going, Wow, that mansion looks amazing, Like they're already the set.
I'm into. This is a big situation.
And then the phone rings and I was like, oh, okay, all right, they totally got me.
They got heavy, I.
Thought, because again the fantasy side of me was like, Okay, we're going to the backstory of how the vampire was actually created where this guy's from. It's the sixteen hundreds.
Yeah, totally got me.
That's great.
Nope, not good opening. Good opening.
This, of course, was a movie on TV the entire time being watched by Adam, a young boy in present day, fixated on the scares. Eventually, his older sister Chelsea answers the phone call that keeps going, and it is a boy she likes. It quickly becomes a battle of power, her talking in the phone, him trying to watch and recite the movie quotes as they are said. Krelski in the movie goes in for the final bite, and we see their younger brother Taylor barely watching from behind a pillow.
He's hiding because he's scared, and that's when their mom, Lynette, gets home.
From a late night at work, turns off the TV.
It's time for homework and then dinner, and she's also like, you know, you're not supposed to let him watch the Scary Yeah. We are now up in Adam's room, which is, like every other Disney trope, a great way to show who our characters are. Is a shrine to pop culture vampires,
but mostly just the ones in the public domain. He ignores his homework to thumb through a tabloid, The Weekly Secret, with headlines about a vampire hunter, which, by the way, these were some of my If you ever want to read some of the best comedy writing in the world, it is all written for comedy. I think you can still get it. Go get the Weekly World News. It's like, you know, vampire boys, they're hysterical.
When we did The Tower of Tear.
Yes, they're just so good, So go check it out. Yep. So he's reading The Weekly Secret with the headline about a vampire hunter. He skims it and has led to a website www. Dot Malachi Vanhelsing dot com, which, of course our producers checked and it is no longer I'm going to say, no longer a working website in twenty twenty four. I guess is it was never a working website, but it's not up now. But in the movie it's
a site for a vampire hunter for hire. This obviously interests young Adam, but when there's a knock on the door, he quickly shuts off his screen and pretends to do his homework. His mom then comes in and sits on the bed and starts a very long speech, or is about to start a long speech about divorce. Adam cuts her off. Is this about dad's wedding invitation? Adam and his siblings were told about this last weekend, but his
mom was clearly blindsided by it. She shrugs it off when Adam reminds her, Hey, Mom, you're still the bomb. So yeah, we're getting the family dynamic. They're obviously still in touch with their dad, they're invited to the wedding, but you know, the mom doesn't know anything about it. Okay, an interesting way to kind of figure out what the dynamic is. In class, we find out that the homework that he did not do was a one page essay
about who they admire. But when Adam is called on to read his in front of the class, he first tries for a rain check, but he's then forced to present, so he takes the podium and reads directly from that tabloid, the Weekly Secret about that vampire hunter Malachi van Helsing. When the teacher asked me, he's just making this up, he finally reveals the tabloid. She makes fun of his source, and the class laughs along. Wampwomp. I think that's a new thing, right, wamp womp. That's like a I'm pretty
sure that's like, yeah, I think I said it. I don't know, there you go. I'm not even sure you could say it wrong. Frankly, wampomp. Maybe if I made it a.
Question, you know, it's like, it's that that cartoon sound?
Is that what it is?
Wompwomp. Okay, but you're not lying. Every time you do a cartoon sound, you do a hand gesture. You do every time.
It's amazing.
Even when you just womp womp, you still have the handjuster, that's great, incredible learning so much. After school, Adam is joined by his friend again. His brother got them backstage passes for the Coolest band in town. It's the only shirt that Adam wears the entire time. He has it in multiple colors, a band called The Headless Horseman and the concert is tomorrow. Hooray. Adam rides home he's so excited. His mom has heard, unfortunately, about the vampire stunt that
happened at school and is not happy. Adam says he's got a handle on it, but she reminds him when you don't do your homework, you get grounded. So he is punished for the weekend. But come on, tomorrow's the Headless Horseman show. Mom's not budget. This is the way it is. And on Adam's way up to his room, he's insulted by his sister, which in turn gets her grounded for the weekend. Two and now she's going to miss a hot date with that dude I think his
name was Pete that called earlier. Oh well, don't do that. Did you get grounded a lot? Were you a grounded person? No?
I think I only got really grounded twice.
Were you a real follower?
Yes? I hated getting in trouble. I hated getting in trouble, so total rule follower.
Yeah, I mean I think I got grounded talking back, like go to your room, that kind of stuff, but not staying home, not being able to go.
Do stuff right, like or we're taking your stuff or doing that.
Yeah. I mean my family wasn't big grounding family because I tried not to do anything to get grounded. Yeah, that's not to say I didn't do so I tried my best not to get caught while doing something.
Yes, yes, And my parents were so well known in my area. I couldn't be out seen somewhere, you know, like going to the movies without telling my parents, because not everyone would know chance there was going to be someone there that was going to be able to tell my parents.
So I also just became a master at hiding things. I mean I smoked cigarettes for like seven years when I was a kid without my parents knowing.
Living in your parents' house, yeah, I.
Didn't obviously didn't smoke in the house, and my parents didn't smoke cigarettes. Yeah. I mean my parents and my parents are very smart people, and I just became a master at hiding all that. Wow, So I got very good at it. We'll talk about how to do it later in case you want to make sure your kids aren't smoking they're a.
Little Yeah, yes, I would like to learn all those things.
But we are now up in Adam's room.
He's still reading The Weekly Secret, but when his sister enters, he says he may have a way out of their grounding if they can get their mom on a day tomorrow night. They'll leave when she leaves and be back by the time she comes back, so he gets to go to them. She gets to go on their date, even though she hasn't been on a date since the divorce and it's been so long since she was the
cool singer of a band. We find out Adam thinks the Secrets Personal adge could really shake things up, and this is where we realize that Adam is a little pimp, because this becomes a thing that continues to happen throughout the movie. So at first, he's pimping out his mom, right, Yes, I would love to get del for further into it, but I can't. He's just pimping out his mom.
Yeah that was I mean, yeah, that.
Woof is a good wamp wump whatever.
Chelsea certainly isn't sold, so Adam says they'll email one guy and set up a meeting in public in case they're setting her up with a serial killer. They stumble on a possible which ironically they are. They stumble on a possible suitor who loves long walks under a full moon but hates turtlenecks.
Ah.
They decide to email him at Wolfsbane at netherlink dot ro and set up a surprise meet cute for their mom.
We see the email landet.
It's in tended mailbox, a computer in a Ma Cob manner, a fireplace lights up on his own, and a coffin slowly opens A hand, creeps out and presses the mouse to read the date requested.
A haunting laugh is heard. Loved this scene.
I love how the vampire stays asleep until he gets an email. And I just imagine how annoying like sales announcements from the Gap or spam from some Nigerian prince would be where it just keep.
One at, like just from this one website.
That's what I'm hoping, because otherwise he got no He has no sleep, no rest.
Now yeah, this guy keeps getting keeps getting spammed with stuff. We are now back at the Hanson's house, the not the band, but the family. It's family dinner and the kids are guiltying their mom about how they used to
have Saturday morning breakfast with chocolate chip pancakes. They're seriously tapping into this poor woman's need to keep things cheery since the divorce she's going through a day after finding out her ex husband has moved on and is starting is getting married, so pretty manipulative in and all awful of the kids at the end of the day. So yeah,
just not good. But they she of course wants to keep them happy, so they quickly drive to the food Master supermarket for chocolate chips, which we know is the location of the rendezvous. Inside they do something very strange to start off, which they save a little bit at the end, but they are just there for chocolate chips and they get a cart. I know, I don't know why you need a cart for chocolate chips, only.
If they'll like, I get a cart regardless, because that's where I put Monroe or Ledger.
It's instead of kicking Okay. So yeah, they had no little kids though, no, so I was assuming like maybe that, you know, but then he never got enough cart.
Just go grab grab your chips and leave.
Let's go.
Yeah.
Inside the Halloween decorated food emporium, Adam and Chelsea search for the date that just you know, trying to figure out who this guy could be. They split up just as a man in a trench coat and hat enters. He menacingly says, come to Papa, and Sallas Taylor and his mom through the aisles. Come to Papa is very weird, no matter who says it or waiting just for the right, unless it's you are by yourself and talking to a pizza.
It's a weird thing to say. But just before the family is ready to leave and the kids consider their attempt to bus, they crash their cart into a handsome man with an accent. He's Romanian or maybe Hungarian and his name is Dmitri then Dentatos, Dmitri Dentatos, and the flirting with Lynette is going swimmingly. He's on paper, it looks like at least the perfect guy, good looking dude, easy on the eyes.
He's an er doctor, he's new to the area.
He's fixing up the old matherhouse by the lake, and he's also wearing a Canadian tuxedo. Score well, could go wrong right exactly. After some pleasantries, they decide I'll check out together and that other dude, the nearby trench coat guy and hat sees this all going down now. Once outside, doctor Dentatos asks Lynette out for tomorrow night, so boom,
he's he's jumping right on. Now let's get let's get in this, and she says, yes, the plan has worked, but they still don't know that's the guy they actually emailed. They anyway, Yeah, this is where okay, I didn't understand that, but they don't. The trench coat man, all of a sudden is now talking on a flip phone, which, God, I want one. I really want them to come back because I missed my flip phone. No joke. If they come back, I'm getting it tomorrow. I want a flip phone.
But he's talking to somebody who we never figure out who he's talking to. He talks this person a couple times, and he says he knows there's a vampire in that market. He's so close he can taste it. Little Taylor overhears this and becomes suspicious. Then he looks over at Dentados, now walking to his car, and he sees him not only ditch the shopping bags, he drops him like he doesn't need the food, but he morse into a bat utilizing special effects. Somewhere between Claymation and Y two KCGI.
Taylor is terrified. Where do we put these effects on the DCOM scale?
I thought it was pretty good. I did you not like that?
The bat was better than later?
The later one is the one that was.
When he walks up the wall.
It's awful.
It's ridiculous.
It looks like I drew it myself in my room.
Yes, but the that one was pretty good.
It was okay, I did. I agreed.
I thought. I was like, okay, that's.
Two thousand, two thousand.
Yeah.
Yeah, here's the thing.
Also, I want to know what the CGI, what the what the special effects budget was, because it was Yeah, I would like to have seen it was it was.
Okay, again, we've seen better.
Yeah, I thought even what Twitches was two thousand and six, So even six years we can see the big difference in what we saw there. Even though Smoke Monster wasn't good and we didn't like it, the CGI was certainly better than this stuff was. Yeah, so we're getting there, but on the other side of the spectrum. Because all this has happened, Chelsea can now go on her date and Adam is ready for the concert. So he tells his friend on one of those awesome see through home phones.
Did you ever have one of those? We could see all the guts of it.
Oh yes, yes, yeah.
Those things are cool. Let's make it plastic.
Yeah, I love those. But unfortunately his friend gave gave his ticket away to some other kid named Boomer. Adam can't believe it, so he forces a meet up with his friend and Boomer in a funky diner and tries to trade some stuff for the backstage passes back for his concert. He's got like, you know, footballs and baseballs and baseball cards. You think he's got comic books and the trade uh is rejected by Boomer.
So what does Adam do?
He falls back on the old mainstay of being a pimp yep, and he offers up a date with his sister since Boomer has the hotspur. Boomer says, if he can guarantee a kiss on the lips, he's got himself a deal too far?
Why too far, Adam?
You can one too far? I think it's all too far?
Yes, but I mean sure, but no, you cannot. That is that is like a kiss. It is like a no, no, no, no, come on.
But Adam's got his ticket back. He just had to turn his sister into a prostitute.
Yes, kid Holmes favorites awful bad.
This kid is set up for sus there's some serious red flags where that's the first go to. This kid has, let's pimp somebody out. Back at home, Taylor still has the doctor's bat transformation on his mind. Obvi. He has some questions for his vampire expert brother Adam and learns all about the trance these monsters usually have on their
female prey. This is where the we can address that thing you were talking about back at the beginning, where at least they use, like in almost like a scream kind of way, they at least use Adam as a repository of all the vampire knowledge, so he can kind of say, no, here are the rules, this is the trance, this is the kind of which is an interesting way to go. So at least we kind of had some
idea of what was happening. Adam suggests you could kill a vampire with a vampire hunter from that tabloid he has, and then we get the titular line from Taylor quote, but Mom's got a date with a vampire. But of course Adam doesn't believe it for a second. We asked this a lot. Do you think there's a better title for this movie or do you think this is it?
I mean, I think it's straightforward.
I like it.
Actually Mom's got a date with a vampire, and it's like, what, that's what it is?
This happened? I thought it was.
Kind of, you know, straightforward, but also, how does that go down?
I'm I'm interested doctor Tantado's I think that's his name. I'm probably saying his name wrong the entire time. The doctor arrives in what at the time, if not a little earlier, would have been considered an awesome Ferrari, but actually back in the day it was terrible ferrari, called the Ferrari Mondal. They were not well made or well running automobiles, and they don't drive particularly well.
Sorry I go off on that.
But he won't enter the house until Adam invites him in, which is one of these things we learned already is a vampire trait.
Upstairs, Lynette is nervous.
She thinks it's too late in her life to date, but the kids convince her to go through with it, not because they want their mom to get out there, but because they want her out of the house with whatever guy shows up. I don't care if this guy's got sixty bodies buried in his backyard. I want to see the headless horseman.
Yeah.
So they convinced her to go through with it.
Dmitri reveals they have dinner at Ryan Fields or Ryan Felds, which is a fun nod to Dracula servant in the Bram Stoker novel. Then they're going dancing. Then a horse drawn carriage drive moonlight. A scared tailor looks on from upstairs, and then he finally goes and calls Malachi van Helsing from the tabloid and leaves a message. We cut to an exotic car dealership where a salesman is chatting with Van Helsing. So the Ferrari that's there, the yellow Ferrari
that's there, is a great Ferrari. That's a three fifty five. That's a very good Ferrari. Okay, that was a later Ferrari. That was a mid mid nineties. I think the first one started in ninety five. That was I had that car. That was a great So that was a beautiful car.
And then you had that car.
I bought it when I was twenty two.
And you didn't get a ticket in it. I got a ticket in it.
I didn't cat. I just sold it in twenty twenty. I had it for twenty five years.
Wow.
And I only sold it because it was just sitting in the garage and just kept bumping into it. Very expensive thing. I would pile my mail on. Yeah, yeah, so it was. But that so that's that's a good car. Okay, the one he was in not so good?
Got it?
But I'm a collector's piece, don't get me wrong. But not a great car. I'm sorry I go too much on it. So anyway, A scared tailor looks from upstairs. He calls Malachi. We cut through the exotic car dealership where a salesman is chatting with Van Helsing and he's ignoring his sales pitch. Van Helsing does he's does some cool things. So this time he drops a piece of coal on the floor. He crushes it with his foot and then he smacks it with a clipboard. As a
result of that, half a dozen footprints poof. They light up with fire, and it is proof that a vampire was there. The salesman reveals he suggested Main Street for some food for Dmitri to go, and now the vampire hunter knows exactly where they're going to be. Question the salesman who saw the footprints light up says, glowing footprints.
I knew that dude was a freak. What do you think he means by that?
And how do you glowing footprints elicit that response?
I don't know. He was just from the beginning of his whole little thing.
He was kind of a funky little character to have because he comes up like fun Yeah, he was funny, but just kind of that was such an odd thing. Oh, I knew instead of being like, what who is this person? I just sold a card to? Right?
Or how did you just light all this stuff on fire with a clip for you? Yeah?
Yes, coming looking like Inspector Gadget, like.
Because he did look like Inspector Gadget.
Wow, Inspector Gadget.
I thought he was the vampire.
He did look like inspect go, go gadget here vampire stuff with this gadget.
Cale and a clip that he asked for.
That's such a good call. He does. He looks like Inspector Gadget.
Yeah, it was weird.
It was kind of weird. I don't know. What that was.
Yeah, I was a strange respondect.
When it's something weird like that, you think that character is going to come back into play somewhere.
But oh, we never see him again.
He is gone. That's gone. We hardly knew yee car salesman man. We are now back at home while Adam and Chelsea get ready for their respective nights out, and then they hear the garage door open. It's Taylor escaping on his bike to save his mom. He's the only one that's gonna go save her, so they race after him. He cannot ruin their plan. At Renfields, Lynette says she isn't worldly enough for Dmitri, and Dmitri just wants her to avoid the garlic bread and ask her to order
steak because it's quote good for the blood. Meanwhile, Taylor, in the big City passes a movie theater showing Lost Boys another very cool Easter Egg, but just as he finds Renfields, Adam and Chelsea nab him. He has to go home. It's time. Taylor is adamant that Dmitri is a vampire, so Adam to kind of placate him is like, fine, let's go into the restaurant. If I can prove to you a vampire, can we please just go home? He says, fine, the deal, we'll do that. So they walk in. They
go up to the doctor. They ask, once and for all, are you of vampire? As a result, Dmitri offers the quote unquote spoon test. This is obviously just placating the little kid, saying a vampire can't hang a spoon on his nose or he'll explode. Everyone plays along and he passes the fake test. Taylor says he's satisfied, so they leave, but on their way out, Adam catches a look in the mirror and realizes Dmitri has no reflection and fangs.
And that made me think, how does nobody else in the restaurant notice this giant mirror where there's clearly no reflection of one Maybe.
Not the reflection, but when he looks at he looks back at him to see the fangs. His mom's sitting right in front of him. How does she not see the fangs the reflection. If you're not paying attention, you're in a crowded resh.
They couldn't notice that, though.
Right, somebody could, but not as much as if this guy is sitting there talking to a woman and with thangs, and it's not Yeah.
That's true.
I have a point that the things though, okay, yeah, well only he sees the things when he looks at the vampire, so like, he looks in the mirror, doesn't see the mirror, then looks back at the vampire, and the vampire looks directly at him, and he's like, but then when he cuts away, he's just talking to the mom. So it was like it was a mind meld basically.
Okay, he's doing that just for the kid.
I got it, that makes sense. I would have gone more circumspect with it, though if I was directing, it would have been a harder thing to direct. But I would have when he took the spoon away, see the spoon test, he would have held up the spoon to show his brother as he was walking away, and the guy wouldn't have reflected in the spoon, which then would have made him instead, there's just a giant mirror. It's like, how did nobody notice that there is a.
Giant mirror, that very big mirror. That's true?
Yes, good, yes, So they dropped Taylor back off at home with a babysitter and Andy tells his sister about the revelation.
So he's like, okay, good bye, Taylor.
Yeah, he's actually a vapire.
We got to go.
So they gotta go back to Ryinfield. It was a funny, funny turn. They gotta go back to Ryinfield. She's skeptical but agrees to help. She doesn't believe it, but she's like, I can't believe you're doing this to me. Fine, So we're back at the house. It's Taylor's bedtime. But guess who's at the door. Malachi van Helsing. He asked Taylor about all which okay, first of all, the babysitter doesn't seem shocked at all that a strange man in a trench was.
The worst babysitter.
Oh my, worst nightmare for any parent to leave their child at home with a babysitter like this.
I mean, my god, a man in a trench coat like this is my friend I met at the park in a trench coat. Hey, how are you come on in? That sounds odd to me.
He needs to go to bed. Yeah, what are you doing in this house?
The hell out of my house. I'm gonna call the police.
Says something. Oh my gosh, it was not the.
Worst good But anyway, we of course know this is Malachai van Helsing. He asked Taylor about this Dmitri guy and where he is.
Now.
With all the info, Van Helsing is off to Rhinefields to save Lynette and the two kids, but we know the couple have left to take a walk, and Lynette then comes upon her old favorite rockabilly club, a musical genre she guilts Dmitri into, also saying that he loves of course you love because this guy is just he's trying to get some neck. Yeah, that's all, that's all he wants.
He's just trying to get some neck, trying to.
Get some neck. And I'm just gonna I will say rockabilly. Of course I love rockabilly. The kids then find a back entrance and Adam sneaks into witness a Royal Crowns concert entering the late nineties early two thousands trend of swing dancing. Thank god that went away?
Do you remember this trend?
Or no? Do you did?
You?
Really?
Oh god, okay, I don't remember, like rockabilly music having to be swing dancing music though that I didn't recognize the kind of music that was playing from.
What different rockabilly swing are different, but it's still all of that trending.
More like fifties, like remember the Gap commercials, Like that was swing music.
Stop shopping at the Gap.
It was a lot more. It seemed more like.
Like like stray Cats, kind of like orchestra kind of yeah, I agree, and the band I thought was good, but it was it's that kind of the Oh. The swing dancing was just such an affectation, like where we're going to We're going swing dancing. So Adam Adam talks another male club goer into going and asking his mom to dance.
This guy he's working angles.
He is always working angles at him, and though Dimitri says he's cool with it, he mine controls the guy to leave, forcing him to involuntarily backtrack off the floor. So guy's got some powers. At the same time, Van Helsing is on his way to Main Street when he realizes Taylor has been hiding in the back seat the whole time. He's angry at first, but eventually lets the kid tag along because why not. And in the club, Adam lets the Royal Crowns know that the singer from
Cowgirl Blue Ooz is in attendance. That's his mom from the band barely mentioned earlier in this movie. They asked Lynette, of course, to join them on stage, and she just casually, with a big smile, struts up to the microphone. She doesn't even say no, she's been so long. She's like, hell, yeah, I'm going up there. And she asked if they remember the song maybe, and of course they all sound perfect together. And I don't think Caroline Ray was singing, do you.
I wasn't sure.
As this is coming along, you see where it's going, and I go, oh.
I don't. Did she sing in Sabena the Teenage? Which did she maybe a singer?
I don't trying to think back of the things I've seen her in and go oh, because that's very much Disney going, Oh, let's get her.
She'd be great because she can sing, you know.
That, get her.
It would make sense, as she could say totally.
And I don't remember.
I don't mean it might be her, it might not. We do not know here at Magical Rewind, which is one of our hashtags hashtag mag hashtag Magical Rewind, we don't know. During the performance, a bounce kicks Adam out for being too young, but after finding out he's actually Lynette Hansen's kid, he also agrees to kick out Dimitri for stalking her. So a trio of these big bulky dudes tossed the likely vampire out the back door, right
where Chelsea is on her phone. She watches on as he is so upset, so he bends their bikes and anger dusts himself off and then climbs up the building wall at a perfect ninety degree angle. These fat a good one were really bad.
Yeah. First of all, if he can become a bat, why wouldn't he just fly?
I thought the same thing, Well, transport yourself, you can do that. He does the zippy thing where he gets super super cool.
Why would you need to fully do this whole walk up where someone could really see you, like you know, the bat thing seemed like happened really fast.
Yeah.
Also at this point, my question is he can sense the kids sometimes but not all the time. How did he not know that Adam was in the club, but he knew else he was in.
The alley bushes and then the bushes later and then.
Yeah, later on in the butch, Like, how does he because he talked there's a there's an idea of him where he senses things. Then there's also an idea later on we find out where he smells and why is this not the same constant? You know, I've got my I've got my will brain on going up.
Thank you.
You guys are not following the roles.
Follow the roles.
Follow the roles.
I also apologize for your will brain. There's a lot of baggage that comes to Yes, so not good effects.
No, we're just I could have seen the bad thing again and been totally fine.
Been fine, and it kind of brought it back.
Yeah, these effects aren't very special.
Uh.
In Van Helsing's car, the Vampire Hunter and Taylor realized they just missed the couple at Reinfields.
Now they're over at the rockabilly bar.
Lynnette wraps up the song and is somehow helped off stage by Dimitri. He's back inside. He did his vampire thing to get back in. Is now kicked out in a much more polite manner and sees Chelsea. She's now a full on vampire believer. She's like, yeah, okayy's out of vmpire thing. Yeah, he's a vampire and fills in Adham on the bike, bending slash wall walking bit, just in time to watch Dimitri's car speedby. I'm amazing that incredible that it started. It wasn't reliable anyway, I'm sorry.
Inside the sports car, Lynette is still high from her performance. It's the first time she's sung in like fifteen years, and she wants this moment to live forever. And of course it's Kelski. I'd like to say it says that it can be arranged. Dmitri says that can be arranged, but not as creepy as I just said it. A now stranded, Chelsea and Adam think their mom would probably want to take her date to the Harvest Festival next It's about five miles away, but Adam has a plan.
He gets his friend now with Boomer, and his friend's brother to pick them up on their way to the Headless Horseman show at the festival.
I just want to stop here, very briefly.
Did you think at some point we were going to get a Headless Horseman song or see them in concert. I was waiting for that big piece where I was like, obviously we're gonna end up at the Headless Horseman concert.
At some point I.
Didn't because we had this rockabilly song already, I feel like it would have been way too many. What would be the point of them having any type?
I thought we were going to see something in the crowd with the headless Horsemen.
They were going to look like vampires.
Something was gonna happen with the headless Horseman because they'd been built up so long. But nothing was just a.
Creepy ride with the creepy Boomer. The poor Chelsea know what's going on?
Oh who doesn't know that she's a piece of meat.
Go in for it.
It's awful. Then we get our biggest set piece, which is a large scale carnival. Boomer wants to ditch the concert to have his date with Chelsea, which exposes Adam's gross deal from earlier. Chelsea leaves in disgust, obviously, and Adam runs after. He admits it was a lousy move, but he was quote unquote different then, and it was this afternoon. I'm so glad that she did. I said the same thing.
I was like, it was just there's an hour ago.
He apologizes, and she eventually forgives him, and they go off to say their mom. This guy, I'm sorry, but Adam, he's sneaky, he's got angles, he's pimping people out, he's got lie after lie.
He will be the perfect politician.
He apologizes, She eventually forgives him, and they go off to save their mom. Meanwhile, on their way to the concert, Boomer and Friend see Dmitri's car.
And appear to have something up their sleeve. We're now back on the fair grounds.
Adam steals some employee walkie talkies because he just walks in and takes what he wants, and the siblings split up. Chelsea immediately sees them from the ferris wheel. They're getting off the scrambler Kelseky, which is really who he is, but we will keep saying Dimitri since it won't so we don't mess people up. Dmitri wants to leave, and Lynette thinks he's moving way too fast. She's thrilled she
found herself again tonight. That's someone she hasn't been in many, many years, and truthfully, she just feels that her connection with Dimitri isn't clicking. And I really loved this part. Yes, I loved where she's like, yeah, he's supposed to be the perfect guy. He's the doctor, he's swab, he's rich, he likes rockabilly. He's doing everything she wants, and she's like, yeah, nah, feeling it, bro.
Well, I think it was more so just going I didn't need to find someone, I just need to find myself again. I've been a mom, you know, she had that speech. Yeah, I've been a mom for so many years. I was a wife. Now I'm divorced. Now I'm just trying to grind with work. Is more so about finding herself, which I thought was really cool and very like.
I feel. I mean, I don't know.
I don't remember movies that this time giving that message, especially to young kids, not about finding so many Disney things, is about finding your prince. It's about finding this. This was about finding herself, and I love that.
It was a divorce mom going like, no, this is this is great, thank you for doing this. But I don't I'm not even I don't need this right now, not into you, bro. She tries to change the subject to bumper cars, but of course Dimitri is not having this and he blocks her from leaving. He's tired, he's hungry, he hates the carnival. He hates rockabilly music, which is probably his best quality. He grabs her and starts putting
her under his spell. Thinking on his toes, Adam throws a carnival game baseball and it nails Dimitri in the back of the head, shifting his focus off the nete. He then does what he should have done, I think, getting back into the club and instantly appears next to Adam and drags him off. So he's got the vampire super speed, leaving Lynette hypnotized and Chelsea watching it all stuck on the ferris wheel, now exposed as a terrible lookout point. Are you a carnival fan?
I am? I like him?
Yeah, yeah, I will go on all the crazy rides they have gotten. I used to when I was younger, but they have gotten really crazy and just knowing they go from city or you know, county to county.
With probably very little maintenance.
Yeah little maintenance. How fast do they have?
How much time do they have to actually set these these rides up?
Sketchy?
No, thank you you. I don't go on most of them, but I will go on a few of them.
What's your favorite food to get at a carnival though?
Ooh, I love deep fried oreos, deep fried pickles.
Anything like, do you like just fried dough, like good fried dough with the powdered sugar on the top.
A little bit.
I'd rather go for like the oreos or something else in between. Yeah, and I love the corn. I love pull pork sandwiches. All carnival food is good. I think I love popcorn.
I love that.
And the beer is always very tasty.
I mean it's a big beer.
Guy.
Well, it's just always hot and it's always nice. It's just kind of refreshing.
The hot day. And nice beer is good.
Yeah.
Dmitri of course does not get this. Wasn't Adam the one who emailed him. Adam is shocked to hear that Dimitri is Wolf Spain. He's the only person now at this point who doesn't realize it's the same guy.
I mean, wouldn't you have figured this out? Is just in the supermarket?
Well anyway, Dimitri slash Wolfbane tells Adam to leave him alone if he wants to stay alive. He's here for his mom and he or she really has no say over it. He transports back to Lynette and commands her to walk away with him. Adam is now sulking at a picnic table, telling Chelsea it's time to give up. He just gave me. Mom's dead. Mom's dead. Bro, let's go.
It's out.
We're done.
We're done.
Figure out how we're going to keep this mortgage going. I mean, we've got big.
I tried once. It didn't work. Immediately, I am giving up playing guitar.
If Goger gives up on me, I'll come back to haunt him.
Do your job.
Life horrible because you gave up really quickly.
Eventually, Adam realizes the vampire is probably on his way to his mansion, which they remember from being barely mentioned earlier in the movie. It's the old Mather House by the lake, the one that's supposed to be haunted. So they call a cab, but while in the parking lot, Wolf Spain Ferrari won't start, and they make it seem like it was Boomer and his friends, but really it
was just not a reliable model. Simultaneously, Van Helsing also knows where they're going and tear leads them to the lake. They share a sandwich, which is very nice, and eventually perform another fire trick to decide which direction to go in.
The cab pulls up.
And we get what can only be called it now a racist stereotype portrayal of the cab driver that we wouldn't see today. Adam and Chelsea enter the mansion hoping to find Dimitri's coffin. They both go upstairs, not knowing the Ferrari just left the carnival and it's finally back up and running. Once they find the coffin, which looks like it should weigh three tons.
Right, and what we as just viewers know about vampire coffins, they're heavy.
You just are heavy.
Yeah, there's one of the caskets, right, it's all of a casket and it takes what nine six guys, three on each side to do a casket walk or kids could.
Not two teenagers apparently. Adam decides he wants to put the coffin in the lake, knowing it will draw in Wolf Spain. When the Ferrari does eventually into the driveway, Wolf Spain walks a brain dead Lynette into her new home, but he smells humans, specifically Adam. He realizes his coffin has gone and he screams timed perfectly with the kids dumping it into the lake. So somehow these two kids lifted it up out of the window dropped it down
at least one story. It landed without a crash because we didn't hear.
That any crack. Yeah.
They then run down, they grab it, and they put it in the lake. It's floating, so he jumps on it, which I.
Wouldn't expect it to float.
I guess it would depend. Is it Archimedes?
Is that it's it's so the floating would would be in relation to the weight of the buoyancy of blah blah blah blah blah, and then if the water doesn't come too high.
But I think it is.
I think it's archamedies with Adam on it. Yeah, well, I mean again, think about how much it comes away they still float. Well, all right, fine, again, I think it's all Archimedes. I could be wrong. For all of our all all of our fluid dynamic scientific fans, please send us emails telling me I'm wrong, which I'm sure I am, But I think it's arch comedies. But anyway, he realizes his coffin's gone and he screams time perfectly
with the kids dumping into the lake. Adam yells out to antagonize the vampire, then boards the coffin like it's a boat. Knowing damn well that vampires can't cross water unless they're in their coffin, wolf Spain stands at the dock watching the young boy float away. He asks what Adam wants, and it's a one for one trade the
coffin for his mom. The vampire thinks it over quickly and then concludes no, and he quickly transports himself to Chelsea, who's lot in the woods, grabs her, brings her back, and says he has a new trade, the coffin for his sister, but she's a little young to be his queen. However, she would be a lovely vampire princess. He encourages Adam to stay out until sunrise if he wants, but when he does return, he'll not only be an orphan, but
an only child. Adam stops him, fine, if he brings the coffin back to the dock, will wolf Spain free his sister. Accept that's the possibility, even though Chelsea doesn't want to make the deal. He starts to paddle in and on the other side of the estate, Van Helsing arrives, leaving Taylor in the car holding a huge bundle of garlic. Adam and Chelsea, once again superheroes, carrying the coffin back
inside for Wolf Spane. So obviously they've found a way to get it out of the water together, drag it up the stairs.
They're both completely dry.
Right, Maybe they didn't go up the stairs because now there's the piano. The piano's in that room, so they're just bringing it into the first floor, right, But.
Still to get it out of the water, they'd have to get in, get under it, lift it up.
And even that, how the hell do you get that?
That's the part about this vampire movie.
That's the Disney cartoon effects, and.
We are fine with it.
Adam and Chelsea carry the coffin back inside for Wolf Spain, who admits he's not going to hold up his end of the bargain. He simply can't trust vampires these days. And then Van Helsing walks in the beaking tongues to each other, and Wolf's bane darts at his enemy. Now. I don't know if it was tongues or was it in Romanian, I don't know.
I don't know.
I started to get.
Here, Empire, I don't know. Yeah, the had you till here.
Yeah, it was kind of like, okay, I Yeah, I'm starting to have to just kind of move along with them, right myself?
Just okay, we'll just move forward.
That's why I didn't know what I thought about this movie.
Now you're pulling me back from what I'm thinking.
I just don't It's not bad. I just don't know what I think about it.
But yes, kind of all right, you know.
Yeah. So wolf Bane darts at his nemesis, missing and locking himself outside, Van Helsing pulls out a wooden steak and says this door won't hold him along. And he's right, because five seconds later, the vampire pushes the door down, instantly knocking Van Helson out, then throwing him into a piano. Van Helsing has been useless at this point.
That's exactly what I have down, useless.
So this adult that has been in the movie, and we're used to having more kids than adult, this adult has been chasing and chasing, finally gets here. Why did he even need to be there in the first place? Home he gets knocked out within thirty seconds.
Thirty seconds, thirty seconds. You've done nothing, And why stand behind the.
Door with the head careful I'm the little kid with the garlet come.
In because he's just as useful as you are.
Exactly, thank you Van Helson for driving us Hunter of the Year.
No, exactly, this is god, this is just bad.
It is set up that these two appear to have fought all over the globe throughout time and justice. He's about to finally bite into the neck of the vampire. Hunter. Taylor appears and softly knocks Wolf Baite in the head with the steak, which I love. I love. It's like, whack, stop.
It laughing so hard. I don't know life, I just needed to laugh at this point or what it was. Whack.
I was hoping you'd spike him, but he didn't.
Jill, don't use the pointing part. He just bomped him on that.
And then a second time the guy's like, what are you doing? The second time Whack gets him a gun and gets his attention. Wolf Spain by this point has had enough. What is with this family? He is the vampire and has the power here. He then takes control of Adam and Chelsea's legs, drawing them closer and closer to him. They yell, hoping to wake up their mom for help, but she's not breaking the trance. Wolf Spain
maniacally laughs, ready to bite Adam. When the net finally wakes up, only true love can break the trance of a vampire. She pushes him backwards, right into the coffin that Van Helsing and Adam open just on cue. They shut the door quickly and Van Helson uses silver plated stapler gun things. It was like a nail gun, but silver plated to seal it. And if silver can kill a vampire, I think it can. Why not use that to kill a gun? To kill him? Yes, but it's Disney,
so they can't really kill him. So the plan now, apparently that they just briefly say, is to get the coffin to Van Helsing's vault in the South Pole and then ship him to Finland.
Why again, I'm all for killing the vampire. Okay, this guy was about to try to kill this whole family now, right, So I guess if Disney's not allowing that, But why are we like sending first of all two places, We're gonna take them to the South Pole, which is the mouth Pole, which he says is the only never been there. He's never been, so I guess there's something about the South Pole and vampires that I'm not aware of.
And then the second place is Finland and what does that do?
So you have a whole vault of of vampires locked and why move them from the vault to Finland?
Why are these poor fins now stop?
Yes, with the vampire overload, I don't know.
It's I don't get it either. I didn't understand that even slightly. But anyway, that's so.
Hey, we took care of it. So what's next. Well, Taylor is.
Hungry, so they're gonna go at breakfast and Lynette invites the vampire Hunter to go with them. He wants some chocolate chip pancakes, which is a euphemism for sex, and luckily Lynette's got the chips boom, also a euphemism.
He exclaims.
Then it's a date, but the kids ask him to avoid that word for right now. Taylor says their mom doesn't date. Lynette disagrees she dates, just not vampires. And then we have a really weird freeze frame as Wolf's Bain says Happy Halloween and begs them to open the coffin and there's your movie. And I'd personally like to apologize to everyone in Finland. Who's gonna be I have to deal with this vampire. There you go, there's your movie.
Who Okay, Well, let's do real reviews.
I think I have the five star this week and the five stars from I'm gonna I'm going to spell this and then say it.
Okay, ja dash s i g h a dash o dash h o f fa j so jug sigha, oh huffa j Did I say that right?
Probably not? And here's our five star review. The mom actually has a date with a vampire. It's insane.
When I watched, they couldn't breathe. Literally, I was drowning.
Ten out of ten. Well watch again on February thirteenth, twenty twenty two. Oh, I don't know why the date is important.
Well, I wonder how long ago he put this, this five star review in.
I do not know, but it is very specific. When oh haffa Jay is going to watch this again?
Man, what's our one star? Sabrina and I heard it.
One star from unamid. This guy just can't stop. But now his reviews put this one star us. Yeah, of course it's unnamed. I felt sorry for the kids. Really had to suck all right, succinct.
Not a fun night, not a fun night.
I personally think it's somewhere in between, undoubtedly. And now to Sabrina's favorite part of the program. Our feature for the week is a new game we have called the Actor Factor. Many actors, as you know, have played vampires over the years, either in TV or movies, and so we will be given the name of an actor or actors and we have to come up with the name of the vampire they played. But also, and this is.
Just a Sabrina always so hard, we have.
To say it in our best vampires.
Oh my no, yeah, yes, yes, I will do it if you do. If you get up and do your best vampire dance, how about we do that?
Is there such a good I'm a bone.
To pick with you.
You keep doing all these things that will is very good at, very trained at, gets paid lots of money to do. Can we do something that I am actually kind of good at, kind of get eight a dollar or two have a better chance at winning.
I wouldn't say, I just like you're being mean to yourself. I think you haven't had the opportunity. I'm trying to bring out that talent.
I don't want to do it for the first time in front of will thank you very much, because I'm gonna make Will learn a dance in front.
I'll do it. I will do it, I will do it.
I will gosh, all right, No, what do vampires sound like besides this one?
We'll do it like this one.
Then, by the way, there's plenty of vampires out there that sound totally normal.
Okay, my vampire voice is gonna sound just like my.
All right.
So number one, I think it's the easiest. Wesley Snipes, right, and that is he's Wesley Snipe. What's his what's his vampire character name?
Is it Blade?
Yeah? It is?
I mean.
You go a.
Number two.
We've got Gary Oldman and Gerard Butler.
I don't remember them doing a vampire movie.
They did.
I think they played Dracula, didn't.
Oldman?
Yes, yes, all yeah. Number three is Alexander scars Guard. And I know that this was in the movie Where Are the Show? Where all the vampires and wolves are just walking around naked having sex with each other the whole time. I've never seen it in my life, but this is the one that women really love. What's that? What's the don't tell me the show is called Oh come on, it's the one it's the one that what's her name was in the How do you not understanding?
Mike?
Mike cues, what's her name? Obviously, what's her name? The child actress who the then went off to she became big in this and it's it's not supernatural.
It's no, I'm calling it. It's Eric Northman. It's character you played on the TV show True Blood.
True Blood, Thank you true Blood. I know it's just naked vampires having some weirdly.
Because I did, I think, but again, Buffy the vampire sleeve was over.
I needed, well, these were Buffy Buffy people because they were naked naked people.
Yeah.
Number four Kate Beckinsale.
I had no idea she was in another vampire movie.
She did. She was in a whole series called Underworld. The problem is I don't remember the name of the character she played in Underworld. She played Kate Beckinsale in Underworld.
Not a character.
The characters name is Selene Celine.
Yes, of course. Actually the first one was great, very good movie. And number five, man.
I just see Lisa and Tara and all of the I know this one, Oh, okay, okay, I do know this one.
Isn't it ed? Because that's how I did know that one.
Okay, we got three and you did some voices.
I feel like that's how she says his name. She she wasless sleep the whole time.
Okay, everybody, everybody in this town loves me.
I don't know why, but I have all the best looking guys in the world.
Can we do some Sabrina sees.
We can? One of the first ones up. I know that this happened in a movie we were just doing. Not exactly this, but some cheatah references happened to me recently. One of the last movies we did her. The actress name is Kim Roberts. She played Adams Gosh, I can't uh was it his English teacher? The teacher that k Roberts played my foster mom and Cheetah Girls Lunch Cool. She has a very small part in the Cheetah Girls.
That happens.
She comes out and gets me before one of my scenes, and then she's there in the finale, so very very small. She was a Canadian actor that I went looked and good went, oh my gosh, and I just looked it up real quick, made sure that I was right and it's true.
What's that cool?
She did a great job. I thought she was a great teacher.
Nice and then we I thought you would one hundred percent hit on this. It's not that you didn't notice. But when he was grounded, then he was able to go to lunch with his friends.
Yeah, he was grounded, and he's about and he's he's at lunch with friends.
What happened to that when he got yes exactly?
And then also did what did the actor or.
Whoever played the main singer in the band? Did he look like anyone to you?
Well, I think that's a real band.
Was it a real band?
Yeah, that's the I think that's the Royal Crowns. Isn't that the name of the band.
I don't know. It was like.
The Royal Crown Review or whatever. Like that's not like a really well known band, but I think it might be a real rockabilly band.
Ye Oh, I thought that was. I thought they were kind of like, well, a well known.
Great they look like right?
It was.
Well, he looked like Jason Priestley. I had to rewind it. No way, he giveing some random cameo, but he looked like Jason He clearly it wasn't It was not okay, good call, and then I talked about him with these kids senses, I just couldn't understand. I had to ask you,
maybe you got it. I also felt that this fight with Chelsea and Adam happened so forced you know, this this coming of our connection and our friendship or whatever it could have been later on, it didn't need to be then, and it was all a fifteen seconds, so it didn't really matter because I was here, and then it wasn't and it was done. And then the last thing was I feel like there is a flip phone this. I noticed the flip phone in this movie, and there is a flip phone of some sort out.
It's not like the small one, but I wanted you.
To know that there is some type of It's not the big Samsung one that opens like a screen, is it, because that's not the same.
I want like a flip phone.
Well, I know you do, but this would be the version of twenty twenty four splip phone, and I think you.
Should get it.
Well, is it I want to get?
I want to get I want like an old school flip I want the smartphone, but I want a flip phone like it's like a Star Trek communicator again.
Okay, not not. You can't get the new Age one.
I know I can get a way.
This movie made me go flip phone that he wants and there's one there.
Really, I'm googling right now.
Is really a new They.
Keep showing a commercial where you go like this and like it's when people are abroad and you can talk to it and it'll translate for you.
I feel like this is something.
You twenty four it's oh, is it a razor?
Flips open?
Like there's the Galaxy Z.
I can get the Samsung.
Yes, that's yeah, it's a Samsung, which I can't. Can't get a Samsung. Well, I can't get a same You cannot give Danielle Fishle the the oh no, I can't be on team Danielle when it comes to phones.
Think iPhone is going to do it anytime soon, if that's what you mean.
iPhone needs to do something like there is a new one though, I think, okay, I'm.
Looking into it anyway.
The flip phone of this movie, because it's been out and it's the couple of times now that you've.
Talked about a flip that's when I said I got to do a spree season because they have one. I keep seeing this commercial thinking of you.
That's what I want one. I want one, but I can't go to Samsung. I can't do that to myself or my family. I love them too much. But all right, well I can't send a green text.
I think I'm leaving her. I can't. I can't do that.
So that's maybe not maybe not maybe, but that is it, you guys.
But yes, again, those are good, so good.
It was so awesome.
Isn't Kim Robert the Jason Priest thing?
That's cool?
No?
Oh he came on and I went, wait a minute, and while, oh, no, that's not him, but he I like him.
Oh that's awesome. It's now the portion of our program where we like to rate the film that we just saw, and we've got some great options this week for we're going to rate the film.
You get to pick.
I'm picking this week. Okay, so we're going one out of ten obviously one being the worst, ten being the best, or like everybody else does it, and here are options. This week, we got one out of ten vampire Canadian tuxedos, which again sounds like a weird sex thing. One out of ten Coffin emails one out of ten, boomers, one out of ten, see through home phones one out of ten, glowing footsteps one out of ten, rockabilly clubs, one out of ten, ferris wheeled lookout points, or one out of
ten trades involving kissing your sister. I am going to because that got the best response from you. I'm going to do one out of ten trades involving kissing your sister.
All right?
And do I go first this time?
Or do you go first this time?
I don't honestly don't remember that.
I don't know. I wish someone would tell us, because we could ever remember.
I don't know.
I'll go first, though, because I will say, I know you went first last time.
Okay, then you go first?
You did? You did?
You're right, so I'll go. I'll take one for the team.
This time, all right, Because I honestly don't know what I think about this movie. And that's not a joke. I didn't hate it. I didn't love it. I do not know what to think about this movie. That means to me that it is a perfect five trades involving kissing your sister. There you go, because it is. I I didn't love it. I didn't hate it. I'm right in the middle, that's me. I'm giving it a five trades involving kissing your sister. I it is, you know, it is what it is with this movie. I'd like
to watch it again maybe, but it was this. It was a movie.
That's how I felt about it.
Like I finished, I was like, Okay, watch the movie, right, Yes, yeah.
I do think we're doing them like on top of each other a little bit right now, so we might just kind of but I will say I love.
The spooky season of Halloween, so sure, and I really don't. I'm realizing I haven't seen a lot.
Of Disney Channel scary Halloween type movies. The ones I've watched are a lot more gory, so it is kind of hard for me to figure out where I land when it comes to a Disney spooky.
Film like Halloween Town.
Great, right, totally, but I mean just to see the variations of it, right, can't always be Halloween Town.
Sure, and so I liked it a lot.
More than when we started this episode. I was planning on giving it a seven. But now that, especially when I started realizing to the end, I started kind of just I don't want to say, wanting it to be over, but I just kind of allowed things to move forward
and just kind of got past things. And I didn't realize that until we started kind of sort of really broke it down together, and it pushed it down to a six point five trades involving kissing your sister, which also hurt my score because it made me realize.
Really what he was doing creepy, it was gross.
So yeah, it's gonna be, oh gosh, six point five. We'll do six point five because I can't go to a six point twenty five. That just seems to say no, six, but it's not a six, So six point five.
Okay, there we go, Well, there we go. Thanks, thank you everybody for joining us this week as we watched our movie, Mom's Dating Vampire. Is that what it's called? Yes, so join us next time because our next movie is the two thousand and five family and Dog comedy and yes, I am gonna say it the same way.
Life is Rough.
It is on Disney Plus and ready to stream. Now we've talked about this before this dog better talk, better, dog doesn't talk. We're gonna have a serious problem, people, because.
We won't even have a full show. We will both turn off the TV.
We are done because the dog was not talking, so hopefully the dog talks in life is rough. But again, it is on Disney Plus stream, got it, yes and all. It says a family and dog comedy, so hopefully. If it's not, then we've got a serious problem. But remember to subscribe to our feed and you can follow us on the Instagram machine at the Magical rewind Pod. Thank you so much for joining us. Enjoy us Pooky season or I do this if you're animated.
Is hey Poky bye?
Everybody,