It's the final morning of their honeymoon, and before returning to Sydney and moving in together, Josh and Stefano sit down for their most honest conversations so far. They share how they're really feeling, what they've learned about each other, and Josh has a confession their wedding day wasn't the first time he'd seen Stefano's face before, which he didn't realize until they had arrived on their honeymoon.
Okay, it's the last morning of our honeymoon. We've now spent an entire week together, Stefan.
An entire week. Last week we were strangers. I know, your husband and husband.
Yeah, how are you feeling? How do you think this week has been?
It was very interesting.
Uh, it's the first time that I have this kind of experience, you know, like having one week with somebody that I have never met before. It's like kind of a challenging. Was very nice.
Yeah, I think I keep saying it as like it feels like it's been the world's longest first date. Yeah, because we meet the wedding night that was like lovely, but it was it was kind of like a whirlwind, right, We didn't really get to really get to know each other. Then we wake up, drive hair to the Burrita hotel, Someone Highlands Lovely, and then we get here and.
It's like, oh, it's just men. You know.
Well, I'm glad that we have many activities around the area. We had seen many things like the being big potato potato. Everyone's gonna be so confused listening.
But in the Someone Highlands they used to have a big statue of a big potato, and then years ago they decided to repaint it pink because Babe the Pig was filmed it and now it's the big Pink Icon.
All the people.
Taking pictures and so if you come to this area, I really recommend you.
To do this to basit the big potato, the big big potato, the big pink potato.
And you said, you just said, like this week has been challenging at times, Like yeah, for you, how has it been challenging?
Well, because we didn't know the way we are, Like, for example, I go to bed very late, and for you it's it was hard. I mean I found out this just last night because you told me, and well you know that I don't wake up so early, but I did a lot during this week, I woke up very early.
It's yeah, it's like we I never thought about this, but we like, culturally, I was raised with this kind of nine o'clock, ten o'clock bedtime, wake up, six seven work time, Whereas where you're from, it's like you don't have dinner till midnight.
Yeah, I mean night but ten and last night was six pm and you wanted to order full and was like no really, but.
Like I think so last night I did get like a bit overwhelmed and like I mean, we spoke about it briefly, and I think it was because.
It's been a lot.
Like it's I'm one of those people that I need time on my own, like even like I have a busy det work, I get home, I say to my housemate Ryan, Hey, it's just maybe I'm gonna have an hour. I just want to watch Telly and not talk. I just need to be with my thoughts. And like I married a stranger. We spent the night in the hotel and since then we haven't had it pretty much a second apart. And last night for me, it maybe like
peaked a little bit. And then I told you, because every night since we met, I've kind of been like pushing myself to step later, and because I want you, I want to obviously spend time with you. Like the first wedding night, were up till three am, and I was like, I woke up at four thirty that morning.
It was a wedding night, come on, yeah.
But then the next there we stay up like again, and it's like got to the point last night where I was just like, I'm exhausted.
It was eight o'clock. I was like, I just need to go to bed. How old are you again? Can you help me with that? Sixty five? But WHOA.
I think that at the end, we understood each other and we tried to, you know, find a balance.
I went to bed last night. I went to bed at ten thirty.
And you ended up falling asleep before me because we were watching the laptop in bed.
And then I was like, oh, this is a change.
Well, I wanted you to feel comfortable and I wanted to show you that I can go to bed early.
But then I think, like the the big thing last night for me was I hadn't actually told you a week like how much I was maybe pushing myself to do more style uplight, like be a lot more active than I usually would because I didn't want to like feel like I'm being boring for you, like, oh, why do you want to go to bed at ten o'clock? Like, But then last night I kind of said, hey, like I really have been pushing myself this week, but actually
it's a lot. And I was a bit nervous and that because I didn't need to think, oh, he's important, like you ruining the vibe.
But yes, and I told you, like, I'm happy to try to find the violence, you know, between the things that we like and we don't like. Like I played tennis with you and I'm not like a big fan of tennis, and you did well.
I was surprised for me. It's like.
You have such a positivity constantly, which I lack, and like.
Like in the first day together, the first morning.
Together, the first morning we wake up and what did I say? What do you say?
With the curtains were like opening, and then you went, what a beautiful blue sky? And I went, what that little bit past that ugly big bilding next to us.
Yeah, that's like the perfect example of the different point of view that we have of life.
And that's something I know I need to work on, like being around you. I am trying to think more like, oh, why approach with a negative? Why I start with a negative?
Why?
Like to me often it's also dishumor with it. But then it's actually, well, yeah it's a joke. But actually that first morning we wake up together, we open the curtains, we press record, and your first thing was the positive.
Mine was the negative. And then I mean.
It's just we're seeing the same glass you're seeing. You're seeing like half empty and I'm seeing it half full. And I try to be more optimistic in life day by day, and I hope that you can do the same I try with you, and I hope you can be more miserable day to day for me, I'm gonna skip that.
Okay.
I'm surprised how easily we got along. Like I know, Pedro said he matches obviously because like on a description, it was like, well, I described someone similar to you, and then Padro said to me, after do it and these more than that, you like you will just have fun and have a laugh. And like I know Patro very well, so if he says that, I'd be like, oh,
there must be something. And even though I suppose we from literal different parts of the world and from different worlds in pretty much every sense, like I've found we have just been able to every day we've had fun or I've had fun.
No. It was.
Very interesting the fact that there were some moments that I was like, we're so different. I don't understand the algorithm or how faith or march ours. And then all the moments that I felt like, oh, this is so nice. I'm surpriseder, I'm having so much fun with somebody that is so different.
But then there's been moments in between all the fun things where there's been.
Confusion. What do you say like with the.
I think, because again we didn't know each other and we're still getting to know each other, but the way we speak and maybe sac as am or humor or what's a joke?
What's not a joke?
And you've said things to me that I've interpreted like quite negatively, like almost as if it was a judgment or like patron I had said that came across patronizing, and you didn't really know what patronizing meant because you didn't know that word right, And then I explained, and then you kind of said that was not your intent.
It's just and I think that's what's taken getting used to because I usually like what you might go in the first date with someone and they might say something like I'm not sure about that, but maybe you wouldn't say something because it's just the first date. You don't have to see them again. But with this, maybe the first day or so together, there'd be those moments where we both would think things but we wouldn't say it.
But then I think we got to that good place where I said to you, like, actually, I didn't like how you just said that because it made me feel this way, and then you said, well, I didn't mean that, and then we kind of had that conversation about.
I mean, the language barrier and the cultural barier.
Years are like two very important things for a relationship. I mean, to big challenges because it's not easy. Not my first language, so it's.
A third language. I just assumed the second, but no Spanish, Italian then English.
Yes, And for me it's like I want to be funny, and I feel like in Spanish I'm very funny, but then it's not the same in English, and I try, I mean I try, so maybe sometimes it doesn't go the way that I want, you know, and also like maybe just maybe maybe you have it's sensitive with some things, am I right?
Yeah, but we've kind of like you, so what we want. We don't have to go into the specifics of that.
But there's like maybe a couple of things you didn't know about me and my past, and then you make like a I, which the average person funny, But when I associate that with things I've been through, and then you see my mood changing, and then I suppose we spoke about that, and I don't want to say I need to learn to not be sensitive, because like when things are attached to trauma like it, you have to Yeah, but I.
Told you I want to let's talk about this so I understand what is it?
What is the root of your suffering?
You know why you're so sensitive with those topics and you don't want to talk. And I understand that your culture is more like keeping everything inside, but for us, it's more like talking and trying to understand each other. So it's it's you're you know, like the relationship because I don't know if you remember, but we've got merried, so I'm trying to understand my partner, and I understand what's going on in his mind and his heart.
Yeah, and I appreciate it. For me, it's.
Interesting because like these these topics and we've kind of touched on them pot talking, but like when you made a joke that I'm like, actually that I really like that kind of hurts me because of things in the past that you've got no idea, And I know that everything you've said to me, I've never felt any bad intent, and I can like, deep down everything you said, there's
nothing malicious, there's nothing you want to upset me. And then but these things which are right, like my culture, we suppress things.
But then I.
Think in the moments we've touched on these, it's just I haven't really felt ready in that moment. And that's something in my life. Like we've spoke about my book, and we'st speak about that in a moment. But all the biggest things I've been through, I find it easier to get them out in private, whether that's on paper, even in my podcast series. There's a lot I've shared personally, and it's weird because I know so many people are
gonna listen. I'll read, but when it's just me recording a writing in a room alone, I'm like, Okay, I can get this out. And then this is completely different because it's with my husband now, and then it's like fuck it. I should I should have opened up about this, but I just breaking that barrier to get to that subject is what I struggle with. And that's maybe again how I was raised that in my culture we don't really get so vulnerable so often, and I was raised
we don't really talk about our emotions. And I'm still working on that. But I appreciate you've ben patient. That's what your husbands are for.
Right.
What is your like biggest impression of me?
Like? What how would you describe me? Like? What's your What have you learned?
I think that you are you have a big heart, and that's one of the things that I require for when I when I did this, when I when I did this project, when I started. Sometimes I feel that you should think less and feel more and to see the you know, the sun behind the storm. I feel that you just see the storm.
Uh fair, I agree. And your musical taste is not good?
Oh yeah, I had that's been a struggle in the character, yes, but.
Yeah, heavy metal, heavy metal I mean it's a road trip. We should listen to something more like road Tree vibes.
Okay, So my biggest concern going in to this project was going to be that I either already knew the groom I would be match with, or worse, I'd already had sex with them and ghosted them. And I said that only because I knew Pedro was looking for somebody in Sydney and preferably like my you know, the Eastern Suburbs, and I've lived the Eastern Suburbs a few years, and
I'm not gonna lie. As we've spoken about, I've been through sad periods of my life where maybe I've turned to sex with random people, and I've fallen into cycles of just doing that again and again and again.
So then going into this, I was just like, fuck, I hope I've not.
Had sex with him and then like ghosted him or just ignored him, which like I have done before, and like I hate that I've done that, but I was not in a good place. And then people have done it to me and that's hurt me. But we've never met, and then that's what we have to help people. This bit that we discovered it was maybe when we arrived at the honeymoon, I REALI I had seen you on social media before, because I remember there's maybe months ago.
I don't remember a few months ago in summer, there was like I was scrolling the for you page at the Instagram wheels and there was a video of you on the beach shirtless with another guy, you know, doing like those He was asking you questions.
I don't know because that was in Spanish.
Yes, And I just remember I stopped because I looked at that because I as a hot guy on Bondi I lived near Bondai, and like.
Thinking, because that wasn't all my best moment.
I was just when I arrived to say they and I was not feeling like a Bondi guy at all.
But then I clicked onto your page on your Instagram at the time because usually if I see someone hot and gay in the area, I followed them hope you get followed back and then see what happens. And then I clicked on your page and I judged you, ah,
because well I saw that you had an only fan's account. Yes, and like to me, I don't care, like I have so many friends who do that type of content and I know that we've spoken about it off off my care and like, I see how you start and that has basically allowed you to travel and have this great lifestyle where.
You like you're doing that.
And I also know you're a lawyer, you own a business back home, your own properties, like it's there's so many facets to you and so many things you've achieved. And then when I clicked on your page, I I mean, there were some posts about you could see you've got such a variety in your life, but I just saw
only fans of fault with this guy. He would never want to go on a day, He would never want to do fucking romantic things that we have, like we watched the sunset holding hands like you know, these things I associate with like almost like wholesome relationships. And then I thought, well, he has only fans, so therefore he would never want that, never do that. And then I even thought even if I did follow it or message him, like he would be at my league anyway, because I
just thought, like, look at you. And then so I did, like I did you and then it's been interesting getting to know you because all those things I believed at the start, like you'd never be this, or that you've proved me wrong in every single way, like you are actually romantic, sweet, affectionate, caring, and like you've shown that you could be.
Like a great partner.
And then my first song was click on that page, or he'd never any of these things, he just filming himself do that. And then and again I feel bad for that because I said, like, I know so many people who do only fans like and I support sex. Even the Australian Adual Industry Awards last year I was nominated for an award for like helping empower the community in the media, And then I feel bad that I can do that and my work. When it comes to my personal life, I saw you and just judged you.
No, I understand. I get this very often, and you know I'm very open with what I do. If all my friends and my family knows. But the thing is, you cannot judge people just for one thing that they do. And this is also like part of my life, as you said, like I do many things in my life. Not because I do only funds means that I'm empty
or very vinyl. In fact, it's just another job that I started after a pandemic because my main income was my tourism company in Argentina, and of course with the pandemic, my economy crush and my life.
Changed a lot.
So I found out this option and it's very flexible. I can work whenever I want, you know, I just need my laptop and internet. And this is also something that I that I'm doing just for a few years because I want to set it down.
It's not something that I'm expecting to do for the rest of my life.
Yeah, And like that's the interesting thing for me because again when I judged it, I just thought, like, you wouldn't be someone who's looking for a partner or to settle down, know anything. But you've proven me differently. And when we speak about like your plans for the future, your aspirations. You talk about businesses you want to grow, things you want to achieve, and none of them, really,
none of them do relate to that. Like everything you're actually so this is going to sound so stupid, but you are so intelligent, you're so passionate about history, and you know so much. And like the stereotype is only finds people equal dumb or whatever you know, like.
Because that's all they can do.
And like, well, again, it's a stereotype, right, yeah, it is, but most people don't even get the chance to look or learn beyond that stereotype.
And talking about judging before meeting somebody, Uh, I had like a situation.
Situation.
Yeah, we went on holidays.
With my friends.
We went to Jervis Bay and one of my friends was reading a book, your book.
I found out, now that was your book.
Like I asked him, like, what was the book about? I was a book and he told me, I mean he read. He read a few paragraphs, and I was like, thinking, what's wrong with this guy?
In fact, I was not even like uh, I was not even like.
I's say, uh intrigued by the by the book Because of the paragraph, I was like so depressing. And now I'm here and I see sometimes your dark side, but at the same time, I see everything that you have inside that bit hard. Like yesterday I thought we did the wine tasting. I mean I did the wine tasting. You have just a gene.
But also I was driving now because you don't emgin but yeah, and.
Then I told you, yeah, yeah, this was my favorite and you went inside and you and you body just for me, And I was not even expecting that that was very very cute. Yeah you liked it, so yeah, yeah, I'm just saying, like, uh, somebody that in my mind, somebody that's depressing. Maybe it's not even like doing something for others.
It will be more like a sad or I think, I don't know, like for me.
The interesting thing there and we spoke about this and you told me because it was I think it was like twenty four hours into this honeymoon when I realized I had seen you. And it was only when I think we were first lay shirtless properly and I recognize your tattoo because I remember in that Instagram video I really liked your tattoo. So then yeah, and then I was like, show me your Instagram and then I was like, oh you with that person, like I connected.
And then it was.
When I told you about my book you started thinking. I think it's when I showed you the cover because.
Yeah, because it looks like grind there.
Yeah, and like you're so you Yeah, you were on vacation your friends reading my book. He just shows you like a couple of pages, like random pages out of context. Now story before or after?
I mean, I remember the call re called my attention.
Yeah, and that's how I asked him.
And then my thing with the book, and I suppose my biggest fear always was that when a book is out there on a shelf, anyone just pick it up, flick through, look at a random page, and just read that page.
But it's like it is sad.
I didn't depress it, and I don't recognize myself. Well, I don't read it, but like the first few years of documenting in that book, I don't recognize that person because I was going through the worst point of my life and it's like a journey. Then towards the end of the book, there's realizations and it is more accurate of who I am now, and then I just it's funny to actually hear from somebody. How So casually you see a friends reading the book, you're like, what's that?
Look at a couple of pages, and you make this whole I suppose judgment or opinion on the author of the person without knowing you know that where the story ends or where they are now. And I get that because I put that out there, and that's that's a book. That's the issue. So I just to me, this is funny because I always thought, in some way one of us might know the all mutual friends, just because Pedro was looking in the eastern suburbs of Sydney and there's
only so many gay people there. But to me, this is interesting how we both had these very minor judgments from how we've popped up in each other's life in some way. And then like, you read that extract and you probably I would never get along with that person. I'd never want to go on a date with him.
I'd never want to spend a week with him. I thought, yeah, and I saw your paging for He'd never with the type of person I could see myself spending a week with holding hand, like do you know these lovely romantic things and how caring you are?
And then like, well, we've both been proven wrong.
And that's the important thing about knowing people you know, and not just judging them.
For the cover.
Quite literally, you judged my well, no, the cover was great. I was inside that it fell apart. Yeah, remem in my face when you told me about your book. And then I connect all the adults.
Yeah, because it's like I was like, oh, but here we are now married, moving into that together today.
Well, now you have to follow my rules because you are going to be in Argentinian territory. So dinner at ten, go to bed after midnight. Are you going to be okay with that?
And then you follow my rules where you wake up at five I would say Argentinian territory.
You know, marriage is all about finding a middle ground.
Yeah, balance now, but you can wake up at five with you. We walked to the beach, I'll buy your coffee. Well we can see, don't worry, we can see. We're gonna But.
No, I feel overall leaving this honeymoon. I feel good and like optimistic.
Wow, you say optimistic, Well, when we're with me, change your mind.
That's good. As I said.
Before, like a very surprise in a good way, because I didn't know what will have happened, you know, one week with somebody that you never spend time before.
But it was very good.
Yeah, I'm like very excited for what is coming next?
Quick question?
Now, Yeah, did you put fresh bed sheets on before you left for the honeymoon.
So when we get home to your star, a friend of mine is staying at home, so she's gonna so we need to checkt that to change the bad sheets vacuum.
Are you going to a hotel. Yeah, at least I'm living alone. You sure apartment? You want to go to your place?
Yeah? Right?
Likes you well, but enjoy my place. You will see it's very bond I by my bibe.
You know, you will say, Okay, have you cleared out half the wardrobe for me?
It's bigg enough for both of us. I don't buy clothes, so I'm very chill. I have a lot of space in your heart that's bigger than my closest.
So big are we talking about my heart? I will stop there