308 ~ Personal Evolution: Unraveling and Becoming

Most importantly , I'm a student of yoga and a student of life and I'm here to share with you my lessons , the teachings that have helped me and practices that can assist you in living a life that you love . You are worthy . Hope you enjoy the episode . Hello Magical Human , welcome back to Madison Mindset the podcast .

I have taken you out into the forest , I've got my laptop and my recording mic , so the audio is a little bit better . But it's so strange sitting down here with a laptop . I have to say the laptop appears to be very wrong in this environment . It's interesting . You know , nature doesn't recognize the laptop . The laptop doesn't recognize nature .

It's just , you know , searching for a Wi-Fi signal or a Bluetooth connection or some kind of connection , I suppose , and it's interesting to see them both come together . And when you've got your laptop , you know , sitting on a mossy rock , it's quite interesting , um , but yeah , I feel more grounded out here doing recordings . So you know I'm not .

If you've been listening for a while , you know me pretty well Like I'm not . I'm not a big recording studio fan with fancy tech equipment . I'd much rather try and bring you know these creations into nature best as possible and , you know , allowing that to influence what I say and the energy of the episode . I think it's so nice .

So , yes , I will have a mossy

rock for a table and , yeah , I'm going to listen . I don't know if you can hear it . I don't know if the mic is going to pick it up and , yeah , I'm gonna listen . I don't know if you can hear it .

I don't know if the mic is going to pick it up , but I'm about 10 or 15 meters away from a running stream , so that might have a bit of ambient background noise for you or something , but depends how good this mic is . We're about to find out .

But yeah , today I wanted to bring you a beautiful episode that's going to be focused on constant becoming and , more specifically , the constant unraveling and becoming . Lately I've gone through a personal journey of unraveling and becoming and I wanted to share that with you .

I'm not going to give you the details on a personal level , but it did impact my business as well , which is part of what you're listening to right now so that I will share with you .

But just to give you an idea , I've been teaching yoga for five years and doing the podcast for four years and being a mindset coach for about the same time , and you know I've been studying along the way and going through my own stuff along the way and it's fascinating how different I am from when I started . You know , it's very interesting .

You know the way I did things , the way I was thinking , what was going on in my head is very different .

Only yesterday I scrolled all the way back on my Instagram , all the way back to the beginning , and watch some of the reels I used to put up and , oh my goodness , I was so not embarrassed , because you know you go through stages , right , and I'm very proud of the version of myself that I was then .

You know I was 22 or whatever I was when I started that Instagram and you know I was so young , so young and figuring this out . I knew what I wanted to create , but the way I was doing it was hilarious . You know I was doing like these trendy dances and using these intense filters and then trying to teach about mindset and the teachings

were pretty good . I was like , yeah , that's not too bad , like , um , I would have said I would say it differently now , but you know , that makes sense . But oh , my goodness , I was just some of them . I was like , oh , cringe , just because it's like you grow up and you continue to grow up .

You know , when people say like , oh , you're all grown up now , it's like no , I'm still growing , still growing . You'll still look back on yourself , you know , in 10 years time , and go , wow , I was so naive , I'd learned so much . Since then I'm a different person .

You know , I don't think that ever stops , but I've observed how much you know , unraveling and becoming that I've done , and in the last few months everything just kind of unraveled for me all at once . You know , you get these feelings of like , oh , I don't want to be doing what I'm doing anymore .

I don't like the way I'm doing it , the way it's functioning , the way it makes me feel , the way I you know , I kind of described it , as you know feeling like I need to chase my tail , like there's more to do than I could possibly ever do , and it just doesn't make much sense and I'm not getting , you know , much satisfaction from it .

So what I did , which some of you may have noticed , was get off Instagram . Um , because I noticed that when I wanted to be busy or when I was doing work , I'd just make Instagram reels . And there's nothing wrong with that . It's a great marketing technique , but that's all it is .

You know , it's a , it's a marketing thing , it's a way to connect with people in a different way , but it's certainly not work . It's not the place where you're going to create the magic . So I just realized I'm in an unhealthy habit here . I'm just going to get off Instagram .

So I got off Instagram for the majority of this year and I've only just come back on the past week and shared some stuff , and I'm much more grounded . I'm not scrolling on it anymore . I'm just simply coming on with a purpose , sharing as authentically and what's the right word here ? Basically , I don't want to .

I don't know how to say this , but in a lot of those dances I saw myself doing , which were were trendy dances , I wasn't making any of the dances up , but basically , you know back in what ? When was it ? I , to be honest , I don't see many of these dance trends anymore .

I'm sure they're still a thing , but it's definitely not part on my algorithm , I don't see it but they , a lot of them , were quite sensual , you know , like they weren't quote inappropriate , but they were definitely suggestive and that was one of the things I hated the most . It was like , you know , that version of myself , that younger version of myself .

You know , you see these successful people who are doing these trendy dances and you're like , oh , I must have to do these trendy dances .

And you know , now people are showing , you know , yoga content where you yoga is a science of the mind , it's a gift and actually teaches brahmacharya , which used to be translated to celibacy but could be , you know , as recently more defined as moderation .

You know , and conserving your energy and not sharing your energy in an inauthentic way or in a way that doesn't serve you , that gives part of you away , and I very much saw that I was giving part of myself away youic way or in a way that doesn't serve you , that gives part of you away , and I very much saw that I was giving part of myself away , you

know , not in a bad way , it was not bad . By the way , I've deleted all these videos , so if you're like , I'm going to go and see . They're not there , so don't even bother . I was like I don't want that on the internet , I don't want that to be seen anymore than it already has . You know so .

But I've kept some of them up there that were just , you know , not that bad and had a good teaching , or I liked the audio as a good message . There's one of them on there that reminds me of when I was six years old doing dances for mum and dad in the living room . You know so .

There's nothing bad about them , but there was definitely an element of I have to sell my body in order for anyone to pay attention to me , or I have to use this method to get attention in order for people to actually see what I'm , you know , promoting , which is , you know , the mindset in yoga .

So you know it's sad that we've gotten to a point where people who are quote selling yoga are , unfortunately , most of the time , you know , a lot of it . I'm not saying it's everyone , it's not everyone , but unfortunately A lot of the really popular stuff is hot women in barely any clothing . You can see everything and it goes off ,

and that's so sad because that's not yoga , but people are into that because they like what it looks like . So you're actually turning people away from yoga when you do that and pulling the wrong crowd . But that attention seeking is the way you get followers and things like that . So I didn't want to be a part of that at all .

And to see , I didn't think I was a part of that , but when I reflect back a few years ago I can see that that was definitely making an influence on me . So that's why that was I had to get off Instagram . I had to give myself some space and figure out who I am and what I want again , without all the influence and the noise of the external world .

You know , and you know I don't promote Instagram at all . I really hate Instagram . I'm like the only reason I'm on there is to help promote business . You know the yoga studio and also you know the podcast and you know . But if I was , if I was to ever hire anyone , the first person would be a social media manager . Because I do not want to do it .

I don't want to be on there . I deleted my personal account . You know , I don't believe in it at all and I actually tell people all the time to get off it . You know it's not good for you . Go and live your life . Go and put your feet on some mossy rocks , you know . Get off it .

Make a scarf , do some painting , do some singing , you know , hang out with people . Put your phone away . So it's also you know . It doesn't align with me to promote Instagram in that way and encourage people to be on there . So , forever , my content will be pushing people to find themselves and to connect with life more .

So , yeah , so that's definitely going to be changing . But basically the unraveling was me going what do I want to do with my life , how do I want things to go ?

And a lot of this stuff you'll find out over the coming months and year because a lot of it can't be shared yet , because there's a lot of things in the works and but you'll find out as we go on . But basically , for me , I feel much more grounded in what the podcast is for and much more grounded in how I'm helping people .

So , for example , you know I'm on Patreon and I had a few tiers up there . Tiers are like the different sub , what's it called ? Subscription doorways ? We'll call it to give it a bit of a spiritual effect . Yeah , you can basically sign up to different tiers and each one has a different value .

I didn't like that because it put a lot of pressure on me to record and show up and because I'm still building that Patreon , it's very hard to do it when there's very few people on there . It's like , oh , you don't have to keep showing up , and because I'm still building that Patreon , it's very hard to do it when there's very few people on there .

You know it's like , oh , you don't have to keep showing up . And I say this to anyone who wants to build anything Like when I started this podcast , I would get like 10 listens a week , you know . And now it's like 5,000 listens a week and it's up near the 3 million download mark . You know you have to give it some time .

This is my fifth year doing the podcast , so you have to give things some time . So I'm aware of that . But at the same time , you don't want to run yourself thin , so I've changed it to a one tier only . It's super cheap . It's $5 USD a month . It's basically an opportunity for you to support me .

You know , if you enjoy this podcast , if you value it , it basically gives you a way to support and to give back . You know , $5 a month . That's , that's one coffee , not even . Um , yeah , it's really beautiful .

And on there , going forward , there will be one journaling practice a month , a bonus podcast episode between 20 to 30 minutes and a bonus practice episode which could be the affirmations , could be meditation , but it will be something completely separate to the podcast .

So I'm basically just going to give a little bit more to you to say thank you for supporting me and being willing to give back , because that really allows me to do this as a job , you know , and it gives me more time to create with intention and it means the world , you know .

So , yeah , it's that's what I've and it feels so much better , you know , because I had to record going back only a month , plus three Patreon things , we'll say per week . So it was a lot , plus the editing , plus teaching yoga full-time , plus all the other things . It was getting ridiculous .

I couldn't keep up with it and it was getting to the point where I lost the joy for it , because when you feel like something has become too hard , it's very hard to feel the connection to it . So , yeah , now I feel free ,

but I also feel like . I've got a really special place on the internet to give back . You'll also find in the coming weeks I'll be offering a meditation workshop on Patreon , which will be a one-time payment . So you literally buy this three-hour meditation workshop that was recorded live and you have it . It's yours , you know .

Listen to it as many times as you want , yeah , so I'll basically be putting up workshops , classes , practices for sale , basically . So you don't need to subscribe to something and have that constant payment .

Instead , you just simply buy the workshop , buy the class , buy the session , and then it's yours , you know , and that feels so much more aligned for me because I don't have the pressure of continuously showing up for you when you've , when you've spent your money . But you have something of value that's there , you know .

So you know , the first one that goes up will be the meditation workshop . It's called Harness the Mind with Meditation .

It's actually a live workshop I taught about a year ago and I recorded the audio , yeah , so that we could edit it and have it up there for people who attended the workshop they really , you know , wanted to keep listening to it and for people who couldn't be there or who perhaps live across the ocean and couldn't be there for obvious reasons , you know .

So that'll be coming up in , that'll be up this week , I believe this week or next week . So yeah , I'm , I feel really so much more aligned with that . It feels like I'm creating more intentionally , so yeah . So that's just to give you a quick rundown .

There is so much depth here and you know , my two closest girlfriends have both heard about me , rave on about you know what I've been thinking and what I've been dealing with and what's been going on in my mind and basically I've just done a 180 in what I want in the future and how I want things to continue .

So , basically , what I've shared with you is what I feel comfortable sharing now and is relevant to the podcast , but the rest of it will be revealed in time as I settle into it .

So , basically , I feel like I've done the unravelling for now , and this week I stepped into becoming and this is what has inspired this episode Because you know , you may think you know what you want , you may think you know the direction you're heading , you know how you're going to do it , you know how it's going to work , and then something changes .

You know , it's a feeling , it's a sensation . It's a start of a spiral and you end up questioning and the more you try and grip on to what you wanted , you know , and trying not to change what you wanted , you know you're trying so hard to grip on . No , I wanted this , this is my plan , this is what was going to happen .

You know , if you try and fight the current , this is so aligned because I'm watching a current now right Flow like all this water is not going to try and fight the direction , it's not going to try and go back to where it came from , because this is where it's going . You have to allow things to flow .

So if you're becoming or transitioning into something new , or your ideas are evolving , your dreams are unraveling , you have to know that sometimes dreams aren't or goals are not a destination . Sometimes they're a fork in the road .

You start heading towards it and you're like this is great , and then you get there and you realize it's a fork in the road and that dream was simply a catalyst to get you to the next one .

You know , even if you didn't achieve it , you may find that that desire just simply led you to the next , the next hint , you know , and this you know I've had many unravelings and becomings in my life , and so have you .

You know you think you've got everything sorted and then everything gets turned on its head in a big tornado and then and then you settle again and you realize you've got it again . You know , that's that's why you keep growing , that's why you're never fully grown up in this life . You know .

So I want you to know , want you to know that if you're going through an unraveling process , if you're learning , expanding , changing , growing and things are not how you thought they were going to be , it's completely normal , that's part of life and it's expected . So we have to get really comfortable when you end up in a period of unraveling .

Get comfortable with the fact that it's leading you somewhere else , potentially , and you're going to eventually walk away with more clarity and more purpose and more energy .

But if you fight that unraveling , if you're like , no , I'm going this way , I don't want to do it that way , I don't want to have this , I don't want to do that , if you fight it , it just drags it out and it becomes more and more painful . It's like ripping off a band-aid slowly . You know there's no point .

If you notice there's an unraveling , you notice the current's changing direction .

Sometimes you've got to go with it and then eventually you'll be left with peace , serenity and clarity . So my advice to you is not to run away from any period of unraveling , anything that feels like it's coming undone . Don't try and hold it all together . Okay , if things are meant to fall over , they're meant to fall over .

You know , right now I'm also looking at a lot of toppled trees , because we had a massive flood through here a couple years ago and all the trees are leaning slightly towards the direction of the current right and a lot of them fell over in the process .

If you were here when those trees were falling and you didn't want it to fall over , you could hold onto it all you want . You could try and help it stand up . These trees are massive right .

So if you get underneath that tree and you're trying to hold the tree up and you're like , no , it's not going to fall over , it's going to go anyway Eventually you might delay it by a moment , it's going to go eventually and probably crush you in the process , you know .

So if some part of your life needs to fall or needs to rebuild or needs to change and morph . My advice to you is step out of the way and let it fall . Let the chips fall where they may and once it's settled , then you can look at the damage . Then you can look at okay , where am I going from here , what's the plan now ?

But don't try and stop it , because it's part of life . We're going to go through these unravelings and I'm so glad that I did . You know , I had a really hard couple of weeks , months of going . What am I doing ? And it's so frustrating , you know .

But I'm so glad that I was able to trust and listen and play with different ideas and experiment and learn , because I feel like I've upgraded . You know , I feel like I've leveled up in this game called life . You know , I feel like I know , moreed up in this game called life . You know , I feel like I know more . I have become more .

So I encourage you to do that . You know , don't ? You can't force an unraveling . You can't force a becoming . They will happen by themselves . Sometimes you get heaps of them in a short period of time and sometimes , maybe , maybe you get none for a couple years , who knows ?

And sometimes maybe you get none for a couple years , who knows , but an idea you know . If you are like am I going through an unravelling ? Do things feel like it's falling apart ? Is everything feeling unstable , unsteady , unsure , do you have a lot of doubt , questions ?

Is your energy quite low and you're struggling , Then potentially there's an unraveling happening and if you feel like you've got it all together , everything's going really well , you know you've got plenty of energy . You're floating along perfectly happy , having a great time . You're probably in a becoming . You know you've just leveled up and you get to enjoy .

You know when you I'm going to use a video game reference everybody oh , my goodness , this might be the first one . I used to play video games when I was like 13 with my brother . It was the classic things , especially like . We used to love Minecraft and stuff like that Nerdy side coming out .

Anyway , you know , when you level up in a game and after you level up for a moment , it's very peaceful . The thing that's coming to mind is I cannot believe I'm about to say this on the podcast , but Call of Duty , you know the original zombies . If anyone can resonate with me here , drop something in the comments if you're on Spotify .

So I don't feel like a complete nerd by myself . But when you leveled up in Call of Duty zombies which means it's going to get harder , right For a moment after you level up it's quite peaceful . You're like , yeah , I did it , awesome . And then slowly the new challenge begins .

But there's definitely like a celebratory moment of like yes , you know , I feel great , this is awesome . I leveled up , that's great . That's kind of like what a begumming feels like .

You know , you've leveled up , you've done all the challenges , you completed it , and now there's a moment of enjoyment and I think that's life's way of saying good job , pat on the back . You know , let's have some fun and take it easy for a bit . And you know life didn't have to do that . So be very grateful if you're there . But you know .

But we're always in this series of unraveling and becoming , unraveling and becoming Just like the seasons of nature . Look at all the beautiful trees that become these most beautiful leafy , green , gorgeous , massive , beautiful trees . And then autumn comes and they unravel . All these beautiful leaves fall off and it starts again .

That's you fall off and it starts again . That's you , that's literally you , you know . So I want you to feel settled in that it's not a bad thing , it's a great thing . I'm so glad I went through it , but it was hard . I'll admit it was hard . It

was emotionally draining and mentally frustrating . You know there was no physical pain involved in it , but you know life gives you different challenges . Sometimes it's a physical unraveling and you know the pain and the frustration you feel in the body can be really bad as well .

So I really think you know doing meditation and doing all these beautiful practices and learning how to you know love myself and love life and understand this is a natural process of life .

It really helps because when you feel like there's something wrong with you for going through a hard time or going through an unraveling , it's extra hard to go through it because you feel like it shouldn't have to happen . This is why the practices that I've shared on Patreon on that supporters page , by the way , it's only $5 USD a month , right .

There's nearly 100 practices on there that can help you with this , that can help you befriend this , okay , and there's more going up . Really , when you learn this work and you get good at it and you settle in the knowledge that you know things change and it's normal , it's much easier . There's less resistance for you , much less resistance .

When you don't resist it , not only do you get through it faster , but it also feels more intentional and you actually can have quite a lot of fun on the way . So yeah , I just want this episode to be a reminder that life is like that .

No one's got it all worked out , because as soon as you do , bam , there's your next moment of unraveling and awakening , and it's just , it's constant . Before we finish up this episode , I wanted to tell you about a moment I had this week which is quite interesting . I was cleaning out . You know spring cleaning , I call it becoming cleaning .

When you come out of this unraveling , suddenly everything needs to be moved around in your house and you have to clean everything . Clean up fresh prana , fresh energy , all that stuff in your house . And you have to clean everything . Clean up fresh prana , fresh energy , all that stuff .

I came across my year 12 yearbook , which I haven't seen for 10 years , and ironically , in that yearbook they made us all write where do you see yourself in 10 years ? And funnily enough , I picked up this book 10 years later .

I'm pretty sure the last time I touched it was when I put it away , when I was 18 , you know , and now , 10 years later , I pick it back up and I go to find myself in there . What did I say ? Where did I want to be in 10 years ? The exact thing that I wrote was hopefully living by the beach and teaching at a primary school .

Nothing could be furthest from the truth . Now I live in the country and I crave a forest over a beach any day . In fact , I love the cold weather . I'm out here in winter right now , with barefoot , barefoot , bare feet , you know , looking at the creek . It's beautiful , you know . And there's no way I want to teach in a primary school , because I don't .

I don't like the system . So I had no idea where I was going . 10 years ago , I was a completely different person , even looking back four or five years ago , when I was doing sensual dances on Instagram to get attention for my business . You know , I thought you know . You keep thinking you have it . You don't have it .

I don't think we ever have it completely . It's a process . So I want to encourage you to reflect back . If you have an Instagram , scroll back . If you have a year 12 yearbook or end of high school yearbook , go and look back on it . If you have a really old journal from a few years back . Go and read it .

Go and reflect on some of the photos , some of the things you wrote , some of the things you said you know . And if you're not sure you know , ask your parents , maybe if they're still around , say what did I want to do when I was 18 ? You know what was I like .

Get some perspective and you realize how far you've come and then understand that you'll continue to change my journal . Understand that you'll continue to change that , my journal that I'm using right now , that I think I'm . You know very . I've got it all together and writing in my journal Look how cute I was four years ago .

I bet you in a couple of years time I'll look back at the same journal and be like she had no idea , she had no clue . I bet you that happens , it will continue to happen . So I want you to walk away from this episode with clarity and an understanding that's normal . Have fun , play with it , go through the challenges , evolve .

But the best advice I can offer you and if you take anything away from this episode , let it be this

Don't fight the current , don't fight the tree falling over If it has to fall , if it's stronger than you . If it's going to fall anyway , step out of the way , let it fall . It might be hard to watch , it might be hard to feel , it might be really painful , but I promise you it's happening for a reason . Do not fight the cycles of life .

Do not fight the seasons coming and going . Do not fight chapters closing and chapters starting . You're in a constant process of that . It's very hard to resist trying to stop things from changing , but you need to find a way to allow it , and this is where meditation , all these practices , can help . Thank you so much for listening to this episode .

Beautiful human , I appreciate you . Please share this episode if you got something out of it , or send it to a friend or a family member you know who's having a hard time . Share it on your instagram stories and tag me at madison underscore mindset . I'd love to connect with you .

Leave a rating and or a review on the platform that you listen to this podcast through . I am so grateful . I'm nearly at a thousand reviews on Spotify . I need six more , so come on . If you haven't done it yet , I would love that . It would make my day . I very much appreciate it .

If you have any questions or want to chat about this episode , either leave a comment on Spotify , email me the details are below or DM me on Instagram . If you want a quick response , email me , otherwise I'll find you on Instagram when the time aligns . Thank you for being here . I appreciate you . Have a wonderful rest of your day , love .