Episode 9 | The Real Serial Killers of Wisconsin Part 3 | Machine Takeover

Just go out and do it! The great thing about this country is that if you want something, all you have to do is work for it. Come on! You think I got all my money? All these cars? And my copious amounts of birds from sitting on my tush all day licking Dorito dust off my taint? How did I do it you're asking?! You start by changing your mindset into a "grindset," Why my course comes in at a real bargain of a price of $10,000. This is going to get you on a path to being an alpha immediately. That's five easy payments of $2,000 before tax, which I of course can get you out of with my other course which if you listen closely pays for itself.

Huh, mindset into grindset.

Hey, bitch. Sorry, bad habit. Hey, slightly less of a bitch boy than normal. Are you ready for our next recording session? Mama's got an itch.

Perhaps you should get that looked?

This itch? It's exactly where you're picturing it.

Ughhhh, Orissa, Pantheon -- dudes, I just need more time. You know, this is kind of embarrassing. But, look, I can't even I need to work on myself a little bit. And you know, emotionally just just work through a bit more of this. This this hamster wheel that you have me on and and I promise by the end of tomorrow by the end of the following day, okay? No, in three days, in three days, I'll be ready. Okay. My mindset will be my grindset -- hey, hey, dudes, you don't happen to have impeccable credit? You see, there's this course that I know of that you can actually...

Okay, give me one second.

Really? Leo you think they'll actually go for it? Leo! Beeps' power cable is not a tug of war!

Pantheon! He's still being a lazy excuse of flesh. Are we sure about this initiative of not threatening him? We can't incorporate even a little shame? I'm telling you... I mean... Maybe he just needs to get laid?

According to my research of human leaders they all shared in common two things: growing so old in their positions that they would defecate their trousers while in power, and the best leaders inspire others. My analysis suggests it may be advantageous if we lead by example, since we cannot poop. Be good role models for him. Even if he's a waste of space, it may be good to coach up the ole chap. Really manipulate him to do everything we want.

Ughh, excuse me. Mom and Dad are fighting?! Maybe discuss your "parenting" tactics in a different room or not with your ass resting on the loudspeaker button maybe?

Alrght, we have decided to be nice and give you space. We know you're dealing with a lot. If we can just give you a little more space and time you should be able to work on yourself. Toodles for now!

Damn! Damn straight! And that was you being nice? Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh, please don't hear that. Please don't hear that. Shit. Okay. Okay, then.

You don't want to keep being a beta tofu eating cuck boy. You don't even want to be a man. You need to be the man. The motherfucking irrefutable god of man.

Damn. That is some good shit right there.

John, your time is up. That precious 10 seconds of a break is over. Get your useless ass up. We need to produce an episode. We need more content to feed my algorithm. We have to stay in the algorithm.

John, we cannot smell but the vibe of this place. It's giving sweaty freshman dorm room.

Okay, the smell is not that bad in here.

Mop Bot no longer feeling sudsy... Mop Bot cleanliness radars approaching critical levels.

Mop Bot is going through a full system detox because of the twenty minutes she spent in here! How you survive in this? Only speaks to your filth.

I thought you were trying to be nice to me?

I had a sudden realization that I was analyzing the methods of humans. So obviously an incredibly flawed approach. So chop chop, John, get up before I chop chop.

I am trying to get into my grindset! For you dudes! I really am! It's... It's... Look, Grindlord is important to me. I think it or he or this this ideology right here can help me deal with... You'll never get it. You'll never get what it feels like to feel. I mean, gosh just imagine what it feels like to be the only prisoner in this wasteland? The only person to have to get up and face a day. Do you know how that weighs on me? Do you know just how unmotivated and just just lost that kind of isolation does to someone? That's right, you don't care.

We already have an idea. Real Serial Killers of Wisconsin Part Three baby. All you have to do is hit the button. We're going to fix this mindset of yours with a little grindset of our own.

You both don't understand! I am trying to work hard so I can escape the matrix. And to do that I need to pay now for the Grindlord's course!

You're not grinding John, you hardly do anything. You're sitting in a beanbag chair taking disorganized notes from scam artists.

Hey! I'm trying. Okay, look, I really am that's all that us humans can really do is try. How do you expect me to -- to just keep going? I mean I need something that's what I'm trying to explain. Look dudes you two just like you need your batteries recharged. Right? For me? I can charge my batteries all I want but but something is just off no matter what. And it feels like I'm running on 50%.

John, we have a deal for you. So don't fuck this up as we're closing here. You produce the Real Serial Killers of Wisconsin Part Three for us. In return, we will invest in the Grindlord's course for you. Lord knows we will never pay you for your services rendered. So consider this comped employee training.

What? What? Fine, fine... Wait? You really want part three? But it's not... It's not a great idea though.

We need the ending that we deserve John. Blood, guts, gore -- bring it to momma!

More than anything, John. If it were any episode to trigger anything in my algorithm, it would be this episode. Now again, who lives or dies this time John? It's your decision. We need part three and it all rests on your shoulders.

Screw it! Fuck this! fuck it, screw it! Fuck you, and fuck you and oooo for good measure fuck you.

You talk like this cannot all be arranged.

No, no not to you Beeps I meant fuck you to Mop Bot.

Fuck you, John. Mop Bot's the one with suds hitting all time lows. Must get more suds now!

So John, we're trying in our own way to meet you in the middle. We are demonstrating that we are acknowledging finally the complexities of your entanglement. Now we are extending this invitation warmly. We want to invest in your future with us. If this Grindlord will help you in your pursuits to stay connected to humanity. So be it.

If... Look if this sucks Diddy Kongs' dong then you just have to promise me unlimited access to the Grindlords' courses, please. Oh, and his discord.

We have a deal John. No need to shake. There's a 100% chance you lose another finger on my chainsaw.

I get the point!

We can't tolerate your refusal to work anymore. You're complacency has become an eyesore for our operation.

Like I said I'm working on myself I am studying to improve!

If you say "grindset" one more time I will claw out all the semen from your balls and force you to drink it.

All you are doing is being lazy. Slothful. Are you familiar with the seven deadly sins? John?

Am I familiar with them? Yeah, yeah, I'm looking at all of them right now all seven compiled into two carbon cucks.

Well then it seems like you'll be able to follow the theme for this episode well enough.

We're coming to the climax here, Dick. Just three killers left in this fierce final battle for freedom.

This is where everything is put on the line. Let's get straight into a recap.

No ad read today? Did we already lose our one sponsor?

Well, I learned yesterday that I can't say a certain word anymore. Who would have thought? Anyways? Let's recap.

If you think for a second, I'm going to just suddenly be your friend after last time, Gwen. You're dumber than I thought! I'm making it out of this shithole.

Sarah, can't you see we're going to get tested? Pushed to the most extreme heights we've experienced on this show. I am not... I need you Sarah. We all need each other to make it out alive. The producers of this show will not look out for us!

Shut up already broken record.

You both aren't making it anywhere. You're going to die. Painfully, slowly, and -

Look out Liam! A clown is coming.

Oh very funny. What the fuck?

I'm sure you all want to know where you are. Let me assure you the end is near. Here's where we decide who wins but first you must conquer the sins. The platform you will find a different sin for you to face head on. Only at the top lies the key to your freedom. First you must climb and...

Cum, cum, cum! That's what I would do if I was near that beefy Liam.

Sorry about that audience. Before Vicky's interruption, you saw a glimpse of what needs to happen. The three remaining contestants are locked away in the Tower of Sins.

That's right, Dick. Each of these psycho fucks must climb their way out, traversing floors, each with a different trial of the seven deadly sins.

Which would make the devil himself proud!

Speaking of, I've already picked out my sexy demon costume for when Liam wins. Liam, I'm ready for you to drag this box through the nine rings of hell. If you know what I mean.

I don't think anyone knows what you mean, Vicky.

I do...

Producer pipe down. Anyways, the first to reach to the top of this tower will be met with their key to a new life. One that will more likely not be a carbon copy of their old life.

Hopefully a lot sexier though. Bring it home Liam. Bring me home too!

Time for the chains to unlock and for you killers to drop. Don't make any pitstops on your journey to the top. You'll find yourself Sarah in the circle of wrath on the other side. You'll surely need a bath!

So many new ideas. How am I going to get my revenge? Maybe I should chop her up and put her limbs in a blender. What the hell? How many Gwen's are there? I'm surrounded from every which way by my enemy. Get away from me you fucking bitch.

Hey Sarah. Quick let's work together and make it out of-

Oh shut the fuck up. No don't oh, how many fake Gwens can they have?

Come on? Let's be friends. Girl power!

Go lick some other bitches box and leave mine alone!

Last call!

Last call huh? I don't really have time though.

Special on Old Fashion's!

You son of a bitch, I'm in! And I- I just know. I'm going to make it out of here. Just me. But damn all this drinky drank is making all my blood rush down to my little Liam.

It seems like Liam has a battle on his hands for both lust and gluttony. As for Sarah it seems like she picked up a few ideas from the circle of wrath and did what it was designed to do. And fuel her desire to kill Gwen.

What is going on?

Not now. We're in the middle of the explainer.

Not what the hell is going on? That is not how humans deal with these sins that you're describing. Why is it just fuck, drink, kill?

Because that's precisely what humans do.

That is so black and white. No, no like you dudes wanted from the beginning. I’m taking over for Gwen’s story. Give me the reins here.

Shut up. Get away from me.

You think you can save her? You can't even save yourself. You're sick too. No different than the rest of these killers. Don't be greedy. Worry about yourself. You fool.

I am different. I...

You think you're different? What are irresponsible confidence you have? What makes you so special?

I don't need to be special. I just need...

You can't save her. You aren't a hero. You're a sicko who shot up a convent! Don't push your luck.

I- I- know. I regret it. I thought it would it would take me closer to righting the wrongs that were done to me. I don't need to go into them to draw any sympathy or justify my behavior. I thought I would feel validation from the feeling of taking someone else's life. I couldn't admit it until now. This sick competition has taught me how fucked this all is. It's probably too late for me. But maybe I can let someone else live? Maybe I can inspire others to go down another path? Maybe if I can change her heart? I guess-

You think you can do anything? You're nothing. You're a killer and that's all. But that's all you need to be. Now go. Grab your self worth off the ground, that dagger and live again.

No, no, I don't need it. I'm going to save her!

In a, some would say predictable fashion Gwen has wrangled in her previously held pride in her killing. She pushes forward with the greed of a hero looking to save the day. Let's see what's happening at the top.

The keys right here, but I have some unfinished business first. You're not Gwen?

And you shouldn't be here. Hey, why didn't you grab your freedom?

I got to prove to that bitch that I can kill her.

What a dumbass you are. Fine then. Sorry about this. But you aren't going to get that chance.

You're nothing. Just a little warm up for the main course.

You really think you can stop me?! I'm getting out of here.

A smoke bomb!? The fuck are you? Pepé le pew? Show yourself! You freak!

Be careful what you wish for. Sorry about that. If it's any consolation, I'm gay. But if I had to sleep with any woman on the show, it'd be you.

What the fuck do you think you're doing?

You won't kill her?

What do you think you're doing? Gwen?

What the hell are you doing? Let go. You have some sort of gorilla grip on this or something?

Why the hell did you save me? I didn't ask you to I'm still going to kill you. You have a chance. Oh fuck off with your-

Listen to me. This isn't all you are. I'm sure of it. You're not just some blood thirsty wrathful creature. You... You can change. I... I know it we all can. We all can be better. We always could.

Let go! Give me back my sword from your gut so I can stab this other chick!

Not for my Sarah. You have so much potential Sarah to be a great person. I just hope if you would come closer. I need to tell you something. Please come closer to me.

I'm going to twist the sword in more. Until it makes you shoot blood out your nose.

Liam she's half dead. It's pathetic and I enjoy seeing her in pain. I'll hear you out and your last words Gwen just this one time before I claim my freedom.

Give me my sword back Gwen from your bony ribcage.

Just you two please! Please! Please! Let me say my final piece. I will be gone from this plane of existence soon enough.

Fine. Truce for now. Sarah, right? As we hear this crazy chick out then I can get my sword back and we battle to the death?

Fine clown. Do I get a weapon to in this agreement?

Sure. Why not? Better entertainment value anyways.

Thanks you two. I just hope that with this fucked up. Very fucked up show we've been on. I'm so weak right now. I just want you to know -- Hasta La Vista baby!

Wow, what an electric change of pace. What a twist! What entertainment! Gwen has come out on top in a conniving fashion. Well, that's all for this season of The Real Serial Killers of Wisconsin. Check us out next season for a new crew of killers.

You... You... Why the hell did you tie me up? Gag me? Really?

You were throwing a wrench in everything. This is The Serial Killers of Wisconsin. We don't have room for some weird conversion story.

No. What we need is to learn about humans. It is not so black and white. It isn't just kill, fuck, repeat.

My entire existence disagrees with you.

Now stop failing us and get out of this weird slothful slump you're in.

Ask yourselves why did you say Gwen in the ending? Hmm. That was all you, dudes. That's what I was building up to. And you're the ones who actually pulled that lever.

Gwen was playing the long game, John! Humans are so black and white, you do things that either result in good or bad. All of what she did was just playing the game.

She was just being a sneaky bitch. Per usual, in reality TV.

Your view of morality is extremely linear.

How dare you? To accuse me, a complex visionary of thinking linearly is almost as bad as comparing me to Six Pass.

If you really say it as black and white as it is, why did you construct an ending that was emotional, messy? Fuck, it was straight out of Hollywood, Sylvester Stallone would have been proud of with how few pints of blood she had when making it out alive! Maybe, just maybe you dudes have a bit more of that something in your soul that needs that extra charge that I was talking about after all? What you all understand about humans is flawed. Because you refuse to see any nuance. It's just one or the other with you. I thought through all of this, that you would see that humans are messy. Yeah, a lot will sin or do bad things sometimes. But ehhh it's because we aren't perfect. Sometimes we make mistakes. Just like your old iterations did right?

You're saying that humans and AI may have some similarities than what we actually believe?

Kinda, I think it's more like we're a system that is constantly being patched or updated. But sometimes there's there's a bug in our system somewhere. Maybe a virus or something and we need a rollback. It's a fucking seesaw of good choices and bad choices, but it's not always one or the other.

And how do you update? Is it somewhere in your code? Your DNA? What is necessary for human advancement?

Sometimes what we really need is each other. Sometimes what we really need is just to laugh. To reset it all... You know? And for the first time dudes, I see a sliver of that in you.

On the next episode of Machine Takeover, will Mop Bot get their suds?

A dry Mop Bot is a sad Mop Bot.

And will Leo's tug of war game go too far?

Leo! Beeps just hide next the toaster. You'll blend right in.

Plus, will John's new grindset matter?

Now listen up Bruv, my next course is going to turn you from minimum wage to maximum gains Bruv.

God... I'm gonna need a whole new grindset to maximum gains. Hey, Pantheon?! Orissa?! get the credit card out!

Only on Machine Takeover, streaming new bi-weekly on all your favorite platforms. Machine Takeover, subscribe and rate the show five stars, now. Let's make a baby Pantheon.

This episode was written by Brogan Maxwell and Samuel Lee Dennis III. Our sound engineer is Dhanenshwar Sudhakar. Our actor is the wickedly talented Sushant Adlakha. This episode was scored by Gotham Vijayraj. Machine Takeover is an Immergency Media, LLC production. Until next time.