Tina Marie (00:00)
Well, well, well. Well, well, well. Well, all right. Welcome the intimacy guru, Angie Lee, unlocks love through emotional safety. So guess what today is? What is it? It is Friday. You know what that means. I'm not sure. Hey, Jason. I don't know what that means, baby. You know what it means. I'm not really sure. So, hey, Jason, let's get started.
And you know what I want you to do? What's that, baby? I want you to cue the music. All right, let's get it.
Hey, hey, hey, welcome to the show. They're gonna get real easy. All right. Here we go. Welcome to another episode of Loving Beyond the I Do podcast. We are your hosts, and Tina Marie. That's me. And we are here to inspire and empower individuals with actionable strategies, tools, and insights for developing meaningful relationships through fulfilling communication, effective principles, and mindset shifts. That was a lot.
Okay. Yeah. All right. So we're going to keep it going. So we do that through our manifest method framework, framework to help individuals create and develop the type of relationship they want. And what is the manifest method you ask? Well, let's find out what it is. My bad. I'm so sorry. That is so funny. tell us what the manifest method is. That is kind of hilarious. My apologies. That's okay. I'm still acting like Jan. Oh, you're here. to dip over in your stuff. Yep. Yep.
Alright, so what is the manifest method framework? Thanks. It's gonna give it to us in one moment. Yeah in a little bit. I'll probably will Mm-hmm. Yeah So until Jason gets our video we know that We know that it is a mindset awareness nurture intention focus empower strengthen and transform. Yeah, that's what it is
You gonna bring it up? That's what it is. All right. So before we go any further, if you guys have not received or have not purchased your copy of Manifest a Joy-Feel relationship, make sure that you go to Amazon or our website, Legendary Relationship, and pick up your copy so that you can be in the conversation with us whenever we talk about the book or revert to the book or learn out of the book. That's right. All right. So are we ready to bring on our guest? Yeah. Just about.
And you want to tell us a little bit about our guest. mean, I'm really excited for this conversation because we're talking about intimacy and I love talking about intimacy. We know from previous conversations, we know what that intimacy was. Angie's going to set you straight, even though we already set the record straight. OK, we're going to see about that. All right, let's bring Angie up. So we have Angie D. Lee. She helps individuals and couples reconnect with themselves and each other emotionally, mentally and physically.
As a licensed clinical social worker and intimacy coach, she provides communication tools rooted in consent and emotional safety, as well as guiding clients and audiences through the complexity of intimacy, desire, and vulnerability. So.
Without further ado, let's bring on our guest Angie D. All right, let's get I know she probably doesn't even go by that. Angie D. She will tonight, I know. It reminds me of Sandy D. So is it OK if I call you Angie D or do you just want to say, just keep it Angie? It just sounds so good. It's just like I just like it. It just rolls off my tongue, Angie D. All right.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (03:14)
That's totally fine. Angie D is fine.
Tina Marie (03:33)
So welcome Angie,
is there anything else that you would like our audience to know about you before we get started?
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (03:38)
mean,
you all really hit the nail on the head. That is pretty much what I do in a nutshell. And just on a personal tip, I'll definitely say I'm also married myself and I've been married almost 20 years and I have two kids, a 19 year old and a 14 year old. So fun times, fun times.
Tina Marie (03:54)
Fun
times. Yeah, I was just going to say it's fun times now. Yeah, that was actually my next question. If you were married, I just sound a little too loud in my ear. All right. So let's go ahead and get into. ⁓ you guys, if you are out there viewing or watching, please remember to drop your name in the comments section. We cannot shout you out and we cannot see you unless you drop your name. So you guys know the routine. Make sure you drop your name. Say hello. Welcome to another Friday Live. We appreciate you. We love you.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (04:00)
you
Tina Marie (04:21)
We appreciate and love you for tuning in with us. Good evening. Hello, Regina. Good evening, Jason and Tina Marie and everyone. Yes. Hello, Regina. Thank you for tuning in. We appreciate you. So guys, don't forget, just drop your name and we can just shout your name out. All right. No sense of feeling people a shame or trying to hide yourself. Come on. We just come on at the closet. That's Just come on out. People like I'm watching, but I didn't want anybody to know. Then what's the point?
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (04:43)
Thank you so much.
Thank
Tina Marie (04:47)
Jay, spot, all right. Hey, hey, shout out to Jason
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (04:48)
⁓
Tina Marie (04:50)
and Tina Marie. Hey, hey, welcome to the show. Welcome to the show. That's right. All right, so let's get into the first question while we're letting the comments come in. Yes, especially about this intimacy, because I'm, I'm, I didn't already set the table. I'm ready. That's right. Right. Right. So, and I just want to say this. One big thing that I liked about this conversation is that I also invited some people who are not married.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (05:04)
Thank
Tina Marie (05:16)
Right some people who were married and some people who are looking to get married and the reason why is because I think we've ⁓ People have the false sense of thinking that while i'm not in a relationship. I don't need to know about intimacy But I think the biggest Takeaway is that if you learn about it beforehand You can make sure that it keep on it keeps on thriving intimacy stays hot. Yeah, or if you're in the relationship
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (05:28)
Thank you.
Tina Marie (05:41)
⁓ how men and women differ from that definition. So what do you think about the difference, before we get to the other next question, what do you think about the difference between whether you're married, you're single, you're divorced, or just older, right, and you're like, okay, when that seasoned guy comes along, you know, I just tell people all the time, like, you need to be on the ready, you need to know.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (05:56)
Thank
Yeah, no, I'm actually glad that you're bringing that up because a lot of times people do get kind of confused when it comes to intimacy. That is just a part of who we are just as human beings. It's actually a human need. And so when we think about just like that Maslow's hierarchy of needs and we think about like the connection between people, you know, whether it's romantic or platonic, it's different skill sets in the space of intimacy that really would benefit us across the board. So.
whether you are in a relationship with a romantic partner or if you're in relationship with your children, you're in a relationship with your parents, ⁓ your colleagues, you need to understand intimacy in the context of yourself first in order to better relate to other people. So a lot of times if you're just understanding what intimacy looks like for you, even again, without romance, just thinking about how do I hear messages best? What triggers me?
because of some of the things that I've been through, you know, growing up or my experiences. If I've experienced like trauma or whatever it might be, a lot of those things people just don't really take the time to prioritize and think about in their own lives. So then when they get into relationships, they're like looking around like I'm confused. you but it's like you've had plenty of time to practice. You just didn't know. You just didn't know that it applied to everything in addition to a romantic relationship too.
Tina Marie (07:12)
Right
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (07:23)
So I'm definitely glad that you all brought that up because that's so important and I get really excited talking to people about intimacy. It's just a need. It's just literally a human need to understand ourselves in that context. So yeah, it's very important.
Tina Marie (07:38)
So I'm gonna you know what question what question I mean as you were talking this came to mind What is the what is the most thing that most people misunderstand about intimacy?
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (07:48)
Yeah,
definitely. know, when it comes to intimacy, obviously, and this is even still in what I do, a lot of times people are like, then they hear that I'm an intimacy coach. They just like, ooh, light, you know, they just kind of light up a little bit and they get a little excited. ⁓
Tina Marie (07:59)
Right, right, right, right. right, exactly.
And I'm going cut you off right there because part of that question is, and how does it differentiate between sex and... Connection. Connection, or no, sex and... Yeah, sex and connection or... Sex and affection. Okay. Because we think, okay.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (08:09)
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah,
for sure. Yeah, and I really try to make that distinction when I'm talking to people because, you know, I've been referred to as a sex coach or, you know, they may say a sex therapist, which is fine. You know, it's all in consciousness. You know, I'm licensed clinical social worker, so I deal with it all. But when I talk mainly about intimacy, I really want people to understand at least those four different types of intimacy. So there's definitely sexual intimacy, of course, and that's things that are sexual in nature.
Tina Marie (08:26)
Right.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (08:42)
But then we also have emotional intimacy and there's also spiritual intimacy and there's intellectual intimacy. And a lot of times people just don't think about it in that way. It's almost like they separate, know, they think sex is just the act and then that's it. And which is understandable because there are a lot of people who are having sex who don't have emotional intimacy, right? And so I can see why a lot of times people get confused or they have this view of like, you're just going to talk to us about sex and...
Tina Marie (08:56)
Right.
Mm-hmm.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (09:12)
how to make it better, and it's like, we can talk about that, but I'm like, I can almost guarantee you that your sex will be even better if we go through these other stages first of intimacy, and then we get to the sexual intimacy last. It's just kind of like the order of things. And so a lot of times people do get that confused because again, we have to think about how we're taught, and what we're exposed to.
Tina Marie (09:12)
Yeah. ⁓
I like that.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (09:37)
And a lot of times we're not taught what intimacy truly is. So we just automatically say, it's sex. Tell me how to have it. Right. Yeah.
Tina Marie (09:43)
Exactly. Exactly. That's how we relate it. Yeah, that's how it's been related.
Over time. And I know whenever it's shown, right, I want to be... And so we're confusing where I want to be intimate and intimacy with all bundled up with sex. And I know we had the conversation before where men immediately run to sex. So, you know, if a couple comes to you and we're like, oh, well, she's an intimacy guru. The man's probably like, yeah. teach me how to have more sex.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (09:51)
you
Yeah. Right.
Yes!
Tina Marie (10:10)
Right, show me the way right where women are like wait a minute. I know that it's it's not about that It's about connection. It's about affections about how I relate. Okay. Yeah, so about this whole connection thing, And I get it and I know it's important and we we we instruct couples on this but I'll put you on a hot seat now So so so, know like so for men, right you talk about this connection stuff
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (10:10)
That is true.
Yeah.
you.
I'm game. I'm game.
Tina Marie (10:39)
I think we're connecting. Connection stuff. Right. So, no, no, no. What I'm saying is when I'm trying to be intimate and you go, like, I need some more connection. I'm like, how much more connected can we be? I mean, like, I thought we were connected. You mean I need some more intimacy. ⁓
Yeah, intimacy. yeah, yeah, He's hearing again, like he said, right? So he's thinking, OK, so if you want to be connected, the best way to be connected is through little intimacy. It's through a little sex. Let's throw the word. OK, so now we're going. Right? So I guess what are you asking her? I'm asking you, help men to separate that, right? To actually hone in on what connection is versus what intimacy is.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (11:07)
Thank
Great.
Thank
Yes. Yeah,
and this is such a legitimate question and it comes up a lot, you know, when I'm working with clients and even people who are just reaching out, you know, just for consultation, they're just trying to get a better understanding because one thing I definitely see with men is before they sign up, they need to know. We're going to get right to it, right? They need to know like, okay, before I start dropping these dollars, I need to know that we're going to some facts, right?
Tina Marie (11:46)
That's a good one Angie.
I love that.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (11:49)
Like, how does
this work, Angie? Because this price tag you got going on here, I'm like, listen, I wanna make the investment. And so that's totally legitimate. And so a lot of times what I talk with couples about and potential couples that I might be working with is that first women do have to understand that men do typically feel loved and cared for through sex. They just do. And everything serves its purpose. And that's more so like a soapbox. We can go.
Tina Marie (12:12)
Absolutely.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (12:18)
deeper into biologically how we're wired and what those purposes are for. But at the same time, a lot of times men do feel very seen and they feel very understood and loved through that physical contact. And it might not always be penetration. It could just be the fact that I'm rubbing you, I'm showing you that I see you and I value you and I'm attracted to you. And so that's
Tina Marie (12:44)
I don't know. He don't like the rubbing. If I rub,
he think it's... We don't even go to second and third. He like first, fourth. He like first home plate. He's like, you rubbing, if you touching, that means... Ain't no messing around. I mean, let's go ahead and get to the kidding. That's what I'm feeling.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (12:55)
And you know what, involves
a certain level of communication, right? So like when a couple can really sit down and have conversations around, know, when you touch me this way, this really ignites something in me and it excites me. And so it's not to say that I don't want it. It's just letting you know that for me, when you touch me in that way.
Tina Marie (13:03)
Right.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (13:17)
A lot of times I'm desiring you in this other space. Like I do want to continue on and I would love to make love to you. And there's words. You can definitely shift how you say things and do things and say things that actually appeal to her. Because again, for women, a lot of times is what we hear, how things are said to us. so.
Tina Marie (13:27)
Right.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (13:39)
It's about both people understanding what is it that you need and like, how do you hear things best and what really speaks to you. So even though I know I desire sex, you know, as a man, I mean, and I'm trying to get it. Like, let's just call a thing a thing. I'm trying to get it right. But I also know that you have a need as well. And if your need is you need to hear certain things and needs to be worded a certain way, then it is my job.
Tina Marie (13:49)
huh. Right.
That's right
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (14:03)
to kind of tap into that part of you because we both have a similar goal. We want to be connected. Now, how we arrive there may be a little different, but we still have the same goal of connection. My connection may be like, you know, I want some intercourse, okay? And your connection might be not so much the intercourse, but maybe how you feel after the intercourse. And so a lot of times that communication is so key and not just talking at each other, but really like asking the right questions. And that's another thing that I teach.
you know, lot of my couples about is how do you ask the right questions to get to the goal? Because we're trying to get the goal, you know what mean?
Tina Marie (14:39)
You know, it's really funny that you say that because thinking about men in general and couples
after, let's just say it is the intercourse, right? And so that transpires. Most men are not really looking to have a lot of conversation after. And what I tell women is that's really their most vulnerable time for a man. But most men are like, OK, so for couples out there who may be experiencing that where the man doesn't really want to talk.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (14:48)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Tina Marie (15:08)
and they don't understand. You come out afterwards. Right, afterwards,
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (15:10)
Thank
Tina Marie (15:11)
right. And so the men may not understand that this is what a woman needs. How do they have that conversation beforehand?
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (15:13)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah,
so a lot of times going into a conflict, because this can lead into a conflict too, lot of times couples aren't having some issues because they just feel like they're not getting their needs met or they feel like they're disappointed, you know, and let down. And again, it goes back to when you're having a conversation, you can even observe and talk about yourself first. I always tell people if you can put yourself in the spotlight first before you start kind of veering off and saying what your partner is not doing. So if you say, you know what, I've noticed something about me.
Tina Marie (15:24)
Absolutely.
Right.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (15:47)
I find that I really enjoy when we cuddle afterwards and we talk. But I was wondering for you, how do you feel about that? Like, are you usually a little bit more tired? Do you just want to kind of like, just hold me and then that's it? I just want to know, you know, what do you prefer? Because then what that does is for the man, it's like, ⁓ you actually want to know how I feel. You're not telling me how to do this. You're not telling me how I feel. You're actually saying, you know, or asking, what is it that you desire to? And you're actually also saying,
I would like to meet that need as well. And so a lot of times when you start with yourself, you talk about yourself first, then what you're doing is you're holding yourself accountable for the intimacy that you desire as opposed to putting it on someone else and saying this is the reason why I'm not fulfilled or I'm not happy is because you're not doing this. First start with yourself. This is what I actually desire and I just want to know what you need to feel like you're getting what you desire as well.
Tina Marie (16:42)
Mm.
Okay, okay.
And so let's keep our highlights. So as we go into what you said about that, you talked about ⁓ like emotional safety. That's part of your thing, right? Emotional safety. Why is that the foundation for connection?
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (16:51)
Mm-hmm. Yep.
Yeah, well, emotional safety, honestly, is really the foundation of ⁓ pretty much how we live our lives in general. ⁓ So a lot of times when a person feels like they can speak and not be interrupted, they feel seen, they feel heard, they feel validated, understood. When a person can speak and the person that's listening to them can regulate their emotions while they're listening to them. So even if they don't agree with what you're saying or they may see it from a different perspective, if they can
Tina Marie (17:06)
Mm-hmm.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (17:27)
of keep that intact, meaning like while you're speaking, I'm not rolling my eyes, you know, or I'm not making little side comments or being sarcastic or throwing jabs. I'm showing you that you're safe with me emotionally. And so it's a lot of subtle cues too that can be happening during like this emotional connection that's happening between two people. And so that's why that's so important because sex is such a very vulnerable topic for pretty much anybody. It's not one of those topics
Tina Marie (17:56)
True. ⁓
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (17:57)
that
most people just go off and just talk about very freely. Yeah, exactly, Yeah, for sure. And honestly, I just see it in both, and I just see it in different ways. ⁓ Men may feel a certain way when it comes to talking about sex.
Tina Marie (18:02)
Yeah, especially men, especially men. Yeah, yeah.
Right, yeah.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (18:14)
But then women do too, you know, and a lot of that could be because maybe women could be a little bit more body conscious. You know, I want you to be a little bit more sensitive, you know, about different things that you say, you know, about my body. And for a guy, it may be more so performance because a lot of men are more achievement based. So it's like, if you know this, and that's why we have to learn these different things about men and women is that if a lot of men are more achievement based, then if you come to him with an insult that insults that achievement, then it may shut him down.
Tina Marie (18:43)
Hmm?
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (18:44)
You know, if you come to her and you're focusing on the overall outer, you know, physical aspect of her, that may shut her down. again, you have to know that number one about men and women, but then you also need to know about your partner specifically, your spouse specifically. And that's how you create that emotional safety. And then once you feel that comfortable, sex can be very fun. Let's just...
Tina Marie (19:08)
It's supposed to be, right? Yeah, know, it's one thing. Yeah. Yeah, I just know I don't I just want to say one thing about You said, you know men want to have sex but women do too, but it's it's not ever expressed that way It's always expressed like the man is the only one that's really you know want to be active Physically, but that's not the case. I mean we both want to be active physically So don't don't make it look like you know, man are just you know
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (19:19)
Of course.
Yeah. Yep. It's fine.
not at all. Not
at all. Yes.
Tina Marie (19:34)
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no,
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (19:39)
Please?
Of course, yes. I think a lot of men though sometimes are like, where are these women though that want sex? Well, that's why, you but yes, you're right.
Tina Marie (19:46)
I know. Right. Trust me, they're out there. Well,
you might even have one, but you have to have that emotional safety to bring it out. And I think what made a good point with what you said is that it's the words that not necessarily go along during sex, but go on before sex or even after sex. Right. When like when you said about the body talk, right? That's why women
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (19:54)
Yes, exactly.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Tina Marie (20:10)
always ask, well, how do I look in this? Am I big or am I little? Right? And so it's that validation that they're seeking that men may or may not understand. So then should you ask questions that you're not able to handle at that particular time? So let's say, well, how do I look in this dress? And you go, well, you know what? It's not very flattering or whatever the case may be. But you just be honest. Well, baby, I don't like the way you kind of look in question is, the women really want honesty? Like, do they really want it?
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (20:16)
Mm-hmm.
Now, you know,
and that's a legitimate question too, because, you know, again, when it comes to emotional intimacy and safety, you do have to be ready and willing to receive what your partner is going to say. Now, again, obviously through communication, you talk with each other about how you hear things best. So if you say, you know what, I'm not really big on the extra direct approach, but I like when you use analogies or I like when you, you know, maybe use different in your windows, like get very specific about how
Tina Marie (20:56)
right.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (21:07)
you can receive the information and digest it. Because a lot of times what I find when I'm working with couples is they'll be at odds and they're having some issues during the session. And then I'll say something and then like the guy is like, Angie, I say that to her all the time. How is she right? How is she listening to you? And I'm just like, again, based off of first of all, me being a woman and understanding a woman's needs and what it is that she's desiring.
Tina Marie (21:23)
All the time. Right. Right.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (21:35)
But I've also learned, you know, just through my work, how people hear things best, you know, just through observation or the things that they talk about. Immediately, my brain goes to, OK, I know how I need to get this message across because this is how they're going to receive it. And a lot of people don't study their partners. So a lot of times you have to take the time to study them as if you're in school. You should always be looking at it like a test. ⁓
Tina Marie (21:57)
These people don't even know each other. They don't even know each other. We think about old and now
is more of the time where we're having these conversations. But I also think it gets to a point where we're getting half information. And so what I mean by that, so when we're talking about ⁓ emotional regulation, right? People get a definition and they run with it and don't get the whole thing. Communication, Understanding how I receive things, understanding how you receive them. So when we're talking about emotional regulation,
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (22:04)
again.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Yeah.
Right.
Right.
Tina Marie (22:27)
you know, we had a couple once was like, okay, like I know how to self-regulate, so I'm getting ready to walk out this room instead of trying to understand that regulation means, okay, this may be something that upsets me. Now it's my opportunity to communicate, okay, this is what I hear you saying, or they're not even open to hearing what the other person is saying because they've shut down with, I know how to emotional regulate. You know, so to me,
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (22:33)
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm. Right.
Yes.
Tina Marie (22:56)
there's these buzzwords as a coach we find ourselves trying to give the full picture. So I want you to kind of express kind of when we're talking about emotional regulation, know, let's give people the full picture of what that means, not just, hey, you didn't push my button and I don't want to hear it anymore. That's not regulation. So what is your take on that?
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (23:00)
Right.
Right. No, I totally
agree. And what you just described is not emotional regulation, it's avoidance. Right. And, you know, so a lot of times that's what people are really just doing. Like if I just avoid this situation, if I'm not in it, if I don't talk about it, I'm not going to blow up. But then at the same time, you still have this issue that's looming, you know, underneath, you know, the surface. So something is going to trigger you one day and you're going to blow up because you don't know how to emotional regulate yourself. Right.
Tina Marie (23:24)
Mm-hmm.
You
Come on, come
on. And you're trying to get people to understand that you're tossing a word around, but you obviously have no idea what that means. But it sounds good. mean, that's something that we've learned, right? And part of that, right, like the emotional regulation shows the level of emotional intimacy or emotional intelligence when we're not able to do that. And so let's now just kind of go into that aspect of it. When people feel as though, you know, again, these buzzwords,
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (23:45)
you
Yep. Right. Yeah. Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Tina Marie (24:13)
They've done a little reading. may have done a little, just a tiny bit of training. They got a little bit of training at work. Right. Right. And now they come back to the relationship and they're ready to tell you. Yep. I know how to emotionally regulate. about this. Right. Right. Or I'm emotionally intelligent. And you're sitting back so give us some signs of emotional intelligence versus not being emotional intelligent.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (24:17)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah.
Okay. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Well,
you know, a good way to kind of gauge, you know, for people in this, think will help people viewing the video is like, if you're trying to figure out, you know, if you have that emotional regulation, if you have that emotional intelligence, you know, I would say a quick way to kind of recognize that is ask yourself, what are some of like your top three triggers? ⁓ and, just ask yourself why, you know, and so, it could be just like the most random trigger. Like I could have a trigger that someone else would be like, that doesn't even bother me, you know, but they're like, you know, you know, someone else is like, right, you know,
Tina Marie (25:04)
Right, exactly. It's personal.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (25:07)
And someone else can say, you know, this is
a trigger for me and just sit in that for a minute. Let's just kind of dissect where, when and how did that become a trigger? Because we're not born with triggers. Right. It's called life. It's called experiences, right? You know, it's so.
Tina Marie (25:18)
It came from somewhere. It's
called people, right? It's called people. we hadn't so long. It felt like I was born with it, right? Right.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (25:27)
Right, right. So a good way
to think about it is like, okay, these are the triggers that I have. Where did they come from? And a lot of times they tend to trace back to our childhood. More likely than not, they do. And so it could be anything from...
Tina Marie (25:40)
Absolutely.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (25:43)
⁓ I don't like when people accuse me of things. I hate that because when I was growing up, I was always accused out of my siblings. I was always the one that was doing something wrong and I wasn't, or I was accused at school, so that could be a trigger. Or something else could be when someone talks down about my, in terms of my experiences or what I do professionally, that really triggers me because I worked really hard. I had to sacrifice a lot to get through school and I didn't have the support that maybe other people
have. So all of these things, when you really talk to someone, the information that you get once you start hearing people's triggers, right. And then the next thing is to ask that person, know, how have you dealt with it? When was the time that you dealt with it in a way that you felt like you were pretty calm and you were able to resolve a conflict or issue? And when was another time that you felt like you had a blow up?
Tina Marie (26:20)
Yes. Okay. Yep.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (26:37)
And when you had a blow up, what did the blow up look like? Were you yelling? Were you screaming? Were you kicking things? Were you calling people out of their names? Were you swearing? Like, give me that full picture of what that looks like. And then you ask them, now what do you do with those triggers? So like when that thing comes up, how do you find yourself navigating that trigger? And that will let you know your level of like emotional regulation or emotional intelligence. Because if you're still boiling inside, but you're able to talk to someone
but you're just still boiling. You feel yourself really high. You might not have really can, you might need a little bit more work and that's okay. That's okay.
Tina Marie (27:15)
And know
what, I'm glad you're saying that because as I'm listening to you, you're like, okay, know, ask that person this and when have you dealt with it? And the thing is that these, so when would someone have these conversations? So let's just say, ⁓ right.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (27:18)
Yeah.
Yeah. Yes.
Tina Marie (27:30)
Hypothetically, right? I'm a coach and I'm dealing with this with couples. And so now I'm with someone who's close to me and I'm trying to help them in this area, but they don't want to be helped because they see me as a relative, as a close friend. They know me. So they they're looking at it as you're trying to get in my business. No, no, no, no. They're looking at it as ⁓ you're trying to.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (27:36)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Tina Marie (27:54)
Evaluate me you're trying to the word escapes me, you know You're trying to sit here and be my clinical therapist and i'm not trying to do that with you because who are you? Right. And so So where do these conversations take place? So you're like when you said if you're if we're in a relationship And I know that my mate or for myself, right? I know that these are some triggers for me
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (27:54)
Yes.
Right. Yeah.
Yeah.
Tina Marie (28:16)
How do, or maybe my mate has to trigger, how do
we have these, or how do they have these conversations that can help them to one, see where they are on the emotional ⁓ intelligence ladder? And how do I bring these conversations up so we can work through them?
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (28:23)
Yes.
Yeah,
that's a good question too. You know, I would tell couples a lot of times to err on the side of caution. The best thing to do first is either write it down, you know, or type it or talk it in your phone first. So this you haven't given it to them yet. So the main thing is you want to kind of get your thoughts together because a lot of times when we are very frustrated and we're overwhelmed or we feel like we're not getting a need met, ⁓ you know, it's a lot of things we have in our minds that we want to say. But once it comes out, you know, we're still
Tina Marie (28:46)
Okay.
Yep. Right.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (29:01)
very emotionally charged, then it may not come out the way that we'd like. Yeah, so it's best to really sit with it first, know, almost as if you're writing a letter to someone or typing something. But don't send the text, you know, don't send the email or anything like that.
Just craft the letter first, you know, and with that letter, I always say utilize that sandwich method we talk about in therapy is like start with the positive. You know, I really care about you. I love you. We are, you know, doing this together. We're doing this life together. And I also noticed that these are the things that you do that I felt like has been great, you know, for our marriage. And I'm appreciative of that. I've also noticed some of the things that I've worked on and I think that it's benefited our marriage. I've also noticed with myself, though, these are some
challenges I'm having. And so I would like to talk with you about some of the challenges that you feel like you might be having. Don't necessarily tell them, I think you're doing this wrong. I think you're messing this up. You know what
Tina Marie (29:57)
Wait, I'm ask you to repeat that. Just for the people in the back who made that up. So you said don't do what?
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (30:02)
Yeah,
just don't go for the gusts though. Talking about, know what, you were hot mess and I thought, you you did this and you did this last week and you did this last month and last year. Like we're not getting into the specifics. But the thing is I'm going to use myself as example first and say that I know that these are some of my challenges. Always start with yourself first. That helps you to open the door for them to feel like you're holding yourself accountable first. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah.
Tina Marie (30:11)
Right.
And not those easy things, right? Not, I know I'm a wonderful person and I may have some faults, but I
know for you it's, Because people definitely get confused with that, I know as we work with couples, the first thing that, you know, the person to say was, ⁓ perfect, you know, a gentleman, he's a great husband, he does all this other stuff. But, and then it's like a laundry list of things that he don't do. And I'm like, you just erased every little thing that you might've said about them.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (30:30)
Right.
Mm-hmm. Yes. Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Tina Marie (30:54)
being in a positive light.
And I guess that's something we can talk about, right? When you say it, how do we bring out those things that may not be the best qualities in someone? In a positive Where, as you said, where they can receive them. Because if we're not studying each other, we don't know each other, we're not taking the time to understand how our mate receives things because we're so busy kind of pushing it down their throat or throwing it at them. What are some ways that couples can start to even open that
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (30:57)
Yeah.
Yeah.
you
Yeah.
Yeah.
Tina Marie (31:23)
or connect that bridge, right? How do I get my mate to kind of see some of their faults or things that they do that may not be in the best interest of the relationship?
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (31:25)
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, it goes back to the beginning of what we said at the top of this podcast is that, you know, a lot of times that self-intimacy is so important because when we get to conflict, you know, with each other, we have to really be able to recognize the things that are going on within ourselves because once we can be aware of what's going on within us and the challenges that we're having and we're working through them, it actually allows you to give someone else more grace and understanding. It doesn't mean that you're letting
things just kind of like, you know, fly by or you're sweeping it under the rug, but you can approach them from a standpoint of, know that you're human, you know, and I know that the intent behind what you're doing is not malicious in nature, but there are some things that we do need to kind of work on and discuss for the overall health of our marriage. That sounds very different than, you know what, I'm really tired of this happy, you know what saying? And I'm not happy in this marriage, you know what mean? It's just all of those things no one wants to hear because then,
Tina Marie (32:06)
Right.
All
Right, right
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (32:34)
that person starts to internalize that. But when we're looking at the full picture of
I know for myself, I'm continuously working on some things within myself because I know that there are things that I do and say that trigger you. And I'm working on that and I want to know more about that so that I can meet you where you're at. And then I'm just hoping that we can both share that, you know, with each other and so that you can share whatever it is you feel like you're struggling with. I want to know what that is for you so that I can support you too. Again, that wording sounds very different than it's you, you, you.
Tina Marie (33:04)
It does it does it definitely sounds
different but what I'm you know, even even hearing that what I seem to find as ⁓ a Stumbling block is that even if we we teach them or tell them those words Once they say them there in their mind They're expecting a certain react return there, you know, so they're they're saying it for false pretenses for okay I'm gonna say it hoping that you say this
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (33:08)
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Tina Marie (33:31)
And so we can get into the real conversation. Right. So they're like, OK, so I'm going to say it nice like this.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (33:32)
Right. Yeah.
Tina Marie (33:38)
And I want them to respond like this because they're like, OK, I said it like that. And they didn't respond. They didn't do you know, they didn't say what I wanted them. They didn't do their part in the conversation. Right. And so so so now that we talked about the language part, right, what you should say now, let's talk about the the the listening part. But before we do that, can you go ahead and grab that one? ⁓
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (33:46)
Yeah.
right.
Tina Marie (34:01)
Verses. Uh-huh. All right. Hi, Versi. Hey, Versi. How are you? for tuning in. Yes. All right, guys. Don't forget to drop your name if you're watching so we can make sure we can shout you out. And if we don't do it immediately, we'll get to you. All right. So go ahead, Angie.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (34:03)
you
Yeah, definitely.
Well, no, I totally understand where you're coming from because it can feel like a letdown when you feel like you've been practicing the language. You're trying to work on your tactfulness. You know what I'm saying? It's like, you know, I done crafted this whole scene. Right, right. You know, I done worked on this. And then you got stone face, you know, or you got you looking at me like, like I got three heads, right? You know, so it's very frustrating, right? But.
Tina Marie (34:24)
⁓ I'm ready. ready. I didn't did my work. I'm ready.
Yep.
Right, yeah
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (34:38)
But a lot of things go
back to us again from that self intimacy because when you're doing inner work and your emotional intelligence starts to expand, you start to understand what's their issue and not yours. And so what happens is you start to not necessarily personalize their responses based off of you. That's their journey. So say for instance, if I'm talking to you and I know,
Tina Marie (34:54)
Hmm.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (35:07)
I know I've been practicing, you know, I've been practicing, you know what saying? I've been practicing on people. Right, right. You got it, right? You know, then if I'm not getting the response that I'm expecting, then what I can do is just address, you know, for some reason it looks like, or it seems like what I'm saying is not landing with you, or it doesn't seem like this is really, you're not connecting with it. Is that true? Because then what you do is you give that other person the option to say,
Tina Marie (35:09)
You went mirror work, went in the mirror, you like recorded. I got my conversation, I proofread it.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (35:37)
Oh no, it's good. Or it's like, yeah, no, not really feeling that. Then we can dive into it a little bit more. But if you say, no, I'm good. And it's like, okay, all right, okay, we can keep going. You know what mean? But like, I just wanted to make sure. But sometimes we are looking for this like, know, overt response of like, you know, what we see in the movies or, you know, somebody's friend was talking about, you know, they man did this and they woman was doing, you know, and it's like, but I'm not them. And so it's learning how to accept your partner fully.
Tina Marie (35:46)
Yep, right. Yeah, you picking up what I'm putting down.
Yes. Yes.
Right.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (36:06)
for who they are because that's who you married. Like that's who you married, okay? You didn't marry somebody else, but you married them and you married all of them. And so all of them might mean that they may not necessarily be the R &B crooner. They might not necessarily be, you know what I'm But they have other great qualities though, because again, if they did not, how did you end up with them? Then that would be your problem.
Tina Marie (36:12)
Right. ⁓
That's right. That's That's right. All right?
you. Right. Exactly.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (36:34)
not theirs because you chose them. And so again, it comes back to that accountability again, like what is it that I'm desiring? Am I asking something of my partner that's not even in their makeup? Like it's certain things that just may not necessarily be in their makeup, their personality, or there may be things that they can grow in, but I have to also see their track record of willingness. Are they willing? And if they haven't seen like they're willing.
then that's what I want to find out. Like, is it something that, you know, I'm saying, is it our environment? Tell me a little bit about what's causing you to not be open, you know, to certain things. And so it's so many layers to it, but that's the reason why it's ongoing, right? It's ongoing work that people have to realize you do for the rest of your life, you know, so, yeah.
Tina Marie (37:03)
Exactly.
Absolutely.
People think
they do a little bit one week, one week. I've done some work. session. I'm good. I wrote down what I was going to say. We're going to have this one conversation. I'm just waiting for the conflict at this point. But what I want to touch on or unpack a little bit more is when you said they may not even have the capacity, right? It may not even be in their makeup.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (37:27)
Yeah, right. ⁓
Tina Marie (37:38)
So what is the difference between someone settling saying, well, that's just who they are as opposed to understanding I want something because either I see it in another person or someone's told me it should be in a man, but that's not my mate's makeup. So now maybe that's not what I desired, you know, because we all change, right? It may not be something that I wanted 10 years ago, but now I want them to be something that's not even in their makeup. So how do we how do we navigate that kind of terrain?
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (37:43)
me
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. Right.
Yeah.
Yeah,
yeah. Well, when you start with yourself, like you mentioned, you know, if you're really understanding more about yourself and your own evolution, that is a question that you have to ask yourself. Like, have I evolved to a point where I want a lot of things that I didn't want, you know, at the beginning or has something shifted with me? So you first have to ask your own self that question. Is there something that now I'm expecting that I didn't talk to them about at the beginning? Because a lot of couples don't. Let's just be honest, they don't.
And so then we come in, right, we come in and we're right, you know.
Tina Marie (38:34)
They don't exactly exactly Yep, yep, I don't even know who I married people like I don't even know who this person And they don't even have that. don't even have to take after after an empty nester It
takes like after a couple these like wait a minute. Who are you? Totally different
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (38:46)
Exactly, right? Right. And then
they work with people like us and like coaches and we're trying to get them to understand the beginning. Like, what did it look like in the beginning? And unfortunately, so many people have gotten into relationships and marriages and, and you can only do so much, you know, nothing in life is guaranteed, but there are some.
some ways that you can do your due diligence when you're meeting and learning about someone. And a lot of times people don't take the time to learn about that person and that person's history. You know, what they are connected to, who they're connected to, their families, their upbringings, like their habits, like all of these different things are gonna play a huge role down the line. So let's just say, for instance, now we're past that, you didn't do all your due diligence and now we here, right? And so like, let's go right here now, right?
Tina Marie (39:32)
The baby's here now.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (39:36)
So you have to
ask yourself first, know, what is it that I desire and what are my non-negotiables and what are my goals for a relationship now? And then you ask yourself, how much different does that look in comparison to the beginning? And so you're going to compare those two, right? So the ones that are the same, great. We can put that in the same pot. We doing good in that area. We got to touch nothing, leave it alone, right? You don't be like, don't touch it, leave it alone, right? ⁓
Tina Marie (40:00)
Yeah.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (40:06)
But some of the things
that are different, then you need to be able to express even to yourself, how has that changed for me? Where did that come from? So obviously, maybe it's because now I'm a mother, you know, maybe because, you know, those hormones have changed with me and, and I have a new goal now, you know, if like, I want this for my kids now. So now that's become a priority. And so you might need to talk about that. Or you might say, you know, as far as my career, I'm on the fast track, you know, to something else now that I didn't know that I was going to be in this position.
but now I am and I'm embracing it and it's exciting, but this is what I would like, know, how I need you to support me in this space. Like be very clear because what happens is our spouses, especially with men, it can be very confusing when we use words like I want connection, you know, I want to feel fulfilled. want to feel beautiful, all of those things. And they're looking like what does it look like? Right. You know, it's like, I don't know. Yeah. Right.
Tina Marie (40:53)
Mm-hmm, right. Yeah or I Right what exactly or or I don't feel loved
and they're like, okay We have a home we have food we have this we have that so they're thinking as you said provision Whereas we're thinking something different. So those conversations is there anyone else? Yeah, but you just have to be clear. That's all. Yeah, okay
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (41:06)
Right. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, very clear, like very
direct. mean, and honestly too, that directness, if you struggle with that, that's why it's so good to be able to write it down first or craft like a draft email, like really get clear. And I always tell people now, that's why, you know, technology is a hot mess sometimes, but it can really be our friend. You know, if you get a little stuck, craft your email, then just go to AI or chat GPT and say, you know what, write this in the most loving way, cause these are my thoughts.
Tina Marie (41:34)
Yeah.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (41:42)
And I just, want to make sure. ⁓
Tina Marie (41:44)
Right, right. I was gonna say that
because you said be direct and sometimes direct may be a slap in the face and you're like, again, we gotta make sure that... Soften it up. So you write it directly and then you soften it up. Not only that, but how am I delivering it, right? Am I like, it's just like making a wonderful dinner saying, here, here's your dinner, right? It's like you've blown the whole point of communication. Okay, go ahead.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (41:49)
Yes. ⁓ Right.
Right. Exactly.
So, so important. And we have, we have all of these tools, you know, in our arsenal now more than ever. Like if anything, I know a lot of people complain about a lot of things in our world today, but we are in a very good position in comparison to years prior. Like we have so much.
Tina Marie (42:14)
Yes.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (42:24)
at our disposal and that's accessible that we're just not utilizing. We can utilize these things for our relationships as well.
Tina Marie (42:30)
Absolutely. Absolutely.
So we don't have to go to grandma. We can go other places to get even more because grandma gave us some information. Right. So and your granddaddy did too. So and that matriculated down through the family. And, know, it's interesting because there's some interesting things that my grandmother told me. I like. So did you want to I'm sorry, Martina came. yeah. Martina. yeah. Martina is watching. Hey, Martina. Thank you for watching. Yes. Thank you. right. Next one.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (42:40)
It's.
Right.
you
you
Thank
⁓
Tina Marie (43:00)
All right. I know I'm all on his side. I'm supposed to keep my eyes this way. All right. Keep your eyes on your side. Like Jan over there. All right. Revenge of the nerds. OK. So Michelle's listening. All right. Michelle. Welcome, you for listening. Yes. All right. So thank you guys. So I was going into a question with that. Oh, oh, oh. Let me get. I know you're about to go into a question, but the role that social media plays in relationships, because we see that perfect relationship on
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (43:02)
you
Thank you.
Missing.
Tina Marie (43:30)
Instagram and everywhere else and then we try to duplicate that There are some perfect marriages on Instagram, I just want to put that out there if not everybody is pretending right? don't know It looks good on pictures and then in a short 30-second reel it looks real good. It may help them sometimes when you pretend you know, and the reason why I said that because you said that ⁓ Someone can look at something say I want that, know, like this this is this is what I want and they point to you like
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (43:31)
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Tina Marie (43:58)
Yeah, they might be happy, they may not be. And then you find out a little while later that they split and they haven't been together in years. So the impact of social media plays on that perfect relationship.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (44:00)
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah,
social media comes up at least once or twice, maybe three times a week for me in sessions. Like it just does, you know, it's like, yeah. And it could be just something like, you know, you know, he didn't post anything for our anniversary, you know, and now I'm like, hurt, you know, and I just don't want to talk to him, you know. So it could just be a plethora of things. But again, through that inner work and that emotional intelligence.
Tina Marie (44:19)
Mm-hmm. It's an ongoing thing. Yeah.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (44:36)
you can balance what you see online. So what you can see is like, even if you admire a couple from a distance, that's okay. That's okay to say like, they look great. Cause some people just look great together. Like just visually, like they are beautiful people. You know what I mean? So, and that's okay. You know, but at the same time, you don't want to go so far on the other end of the spectrum and say, oh, okay, well they just faking it for the gram. You know I mean? Like you have to find, you know, that sweet spot that yes, people do have challenges.
Tina Marie (44:47)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Right,
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (45:03)
in their relationship, but there are a lot of healthy couples. And I say healthy, not necessarily happy, because again, happiness is fleeting. You know, we can have days where we don't always feel as happy in our marriage, and that's okay. And people need to hear that because it's a part of the journey. It's a cycle. You know, we go through different things. We experience different things. And in those moments, we may not really be happy with that person. But is it a healthy one because we're able to communicate? And even if we're not, you know, really on the same page?
we can still respect each other in the process, that's healthy. And so there are lot of healthy relationships out there and lot of crazy ones and stuff too. We know that.
Tina Marie (45:41)
Yeah, yeah, we like no that's toxicity toxicity
That's like to love you like oh wait, but anyway, all right, that's good anymore All right
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (45:47)
Right, you know exactly. So yeah, it's the balancing act.
It definitely is that when you see these things, and you have to know yourself too, if you're going through a lot of things right now in your marriage too and those things are hard for you to see, it's okay.
to take a little hiatus or break because it may trigger you back to those triggers again, right? And it's a trigger because of what you're experiencing right now and you have yet to figure out how to navigate that in a way that's making you feel like we're gonna be okay. Sometimes you don't know if you're gonna be okay in your marriage. So seeing those things may actually make you feel a lot worse. So take yourself off of it for a while and that's okay. Yeah.
Tina Marie (46:28)
That's true. So let's read her thing again and then I'm going to, if you have any more we can.
⁓ MJ, which is Martina says, do the work at the beginning to reduce surprises on the journey. Hey, OK. OK. Sometimes you still get surprises, but yeah, I understand what you're saying. Like you said. I always tell men, don't misrepresent yourself when you first meet in the person, right? So if everybody shows up as their true self, we don't have to have this surprise once we get in further in the relationship. like, who are you? Right. Right.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (46:39)
Yeah. Yes, you said reduce, reduce, right? Yeah. ⁓
Yeah, yeah. And
that's a point too, I was going to say, because just as, and for women too, this is one thing that I say a lot to women is that because we are cyclical, you know, and we do have cycles, we have to be honest about that. Our hormones and emotions really do change very often. So we might be really excited at the beginning and we're doing all the things at the beginning. I mean, all the things, okay. So we grow great.
Tina Marie (46:57)
All right, so I was just saying.
Being a superwoman. We like, yeah. You know, when I tell people now, all
right, don't start anything, you're not going to finish. Right? Because then five years down the road, they're wondering why he's not helping. Because you started with, I'm going cook, I'm going to clean, I'm going to bake, I'm going to... And then they like, OK, all right. Why do want to stop Right, right. And now you upset because he won't pick up his shoes. But hey, in the beginning, you were all gun-ho. Exactly. Right.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (47:25)
Exactly.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yes, in effect. Right.
Right. Exactly. Exactly.
Yeah. For a lot of men, one plus one is two all the time. know, for women though, it's like one plus one could be three. It could be divided by two and then times to the tip-towel, you know what mean?
Tina Marie (47:47)
All the time. Yeah. Come on. Yes. Yes.
You know, I hit my head the other day on a fire hydrant. I will tell you guys how, like, just really weird. I'm outside doing the line and I hit my head on the fire hydrant. But I ended up going to urgent care. And it was a male doctor that came in. And he was like, you look well, you know, way too good to something be wrong for something to be wrong. Right. And he said ⁓ something about being
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (47:59)
You
Thank you.
Thanks.
Tina Marie (48:16)
Irrational or something he said and I said well isn't that what you men say all the time about women? how would I know if I'm okay? Like how would I know? If you get a little irrational I was like well how would I know cuz Courtney you man we're like that all the time like it could be Anyway, we got enough so you can put Michelle's up real quick. She said it was Michelle. She just said hey ⁓
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (48:20)
Thank
Right.
Yeah.
Thank
Tina Marie (48:46)
So you stopped me because you know you can't stop that train. I don't know. Yeah. Just wait at the station. It'll come back. So do you have Angie's book? Did you cue it up or no? It's on. Well, are you doing that? I have it on the... So what I was going to say is that when you were talking about doing your homework and things like that or learning from all of the plethora of things that's out there, for us, you know, and I have said this before, that part of our study was that asking women like,
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (49:03)
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
Tina Marie (49:15)
I think I talked to over 100, maybe 150 women and I was like, how many of you have read a relationship book? And I think it was one. It was one. And so you're like, you know, we're so apt to listen to our girlfriend. For sure. And their relationship advice as opposed to getting the resources that are out there, right? Getting things that's really going to move the needle in our relationship.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (49:38)
Yeah.
Tina Marie (49:45)
And so when you were talking about that, just helping people to understand that, just talk about what's out there, the resources, and what people should really strive to do with what they get, right? I have it queued up. ⁓ And then we'll... There you go. So OK, so I'm going to introduce Angie. I wasn't ready, but OK. Angie D. Lee's book, all right.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (49:58)
Yes.
Thanks.
Tina Marie (50:07)
author of the intimacy guru so make sure guys you go out and pick up a book. guru. The intimacy guru. Right. Alright, guru. Don't miss that. Right, you gotta get, you gotta put, you gotta stress that. That's right. so go back to Angie. Angie, tell us where they can get your book and then you can go on to answer the question. So I do apologize for that back and forth. So where can they pick your book up from?
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (50:24)
I'm pretty sure.
Yes, so
you could definitely find my book on amazon.com and actually all online retailers you'll be able to find it. So even if you forget, you you can google the intimacy guru or you can google Angie D Lee and it'll pop up on there and then you can just, you know, choose your online retailer of choice, you know, and purchase the book. If I happen to, you know, run into people on the street, I got them, I them in my trunk as well too.
Tina Marie (50:49)
So go and.
There you go, right? Always have them in the back of the Hello.
When we first printed out, somebody told And a pen and a marker. That's right. Somebody was like, keep a bunch of them with you, always. So tell us a little bit about your book and then go into explaining why it's important to do reading, to do research, to... There are resources out here for a reason, but go ahead.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (50:58)
Thank
Yes.
Yeah, so
the intimacy guru is basically in the subtitle is helping modern couples reignite passion, pleasure, and connection. And so this book is all about really understanding intimacy through and through, you know, from an emotional standpoint, spiritual, mental, as well as sexual. And so the reason for this book, I wrote it because it actually is very applicable to single and people dating and people married in relationships.
But I specifically was targeting couples because I understand just even from a personal perspective of what it takes to maintain and not just maintain, but help a long standing relationship thrive. And I felt that people really needed some strong insight, you know, on what that really looks like, not just from anecdotal notes and personal, but also from a professional standpoint and to have sources in there of like real activities that you can do and that you can practice, you can read and talk about and you
Tina Marie (51:53)
Right.
Right.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (52:09)
study together. ⁓ And so I just felt like that was really important to write that that particular book. And I get straight to the point, like the book, when I tell you it's actually a very quick read, like, you know, and this is one thing that I've noticed. ⁓ When I read certain books, depending on, you know, the type of professional, not professional, personal development, self help, ⁓ I find that sometimes it can be very repetitive. And I do understand that we need that, you know, we need that repetition. But for some people, they can get kind of turned off by that. It's like, give
Tina Marie (52:32)
Yeah.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (52:39)
me the message, like something that I can just really study. And so this book, yeah, this book really gets to the point.
Tina Marie (52:41)
Right, right. Get in and out.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (52:45)
And these are different things, like I say, you can make notes in your book, you all can practice together. So it's very, very important to be able to understand intimacy in the context of yourself individually and as a couple. And I dive into just like, you know, how our senses play a role in our intimacy, how our upbringing plays a role, how, you know, the way that we talk to each other, all of these things play a role. So it's very, very detailed, but it's quick. I mean, you get in and you get out and you can go back and read it.
Five times over, you know what saying? In one day. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Right.
Tina Marie (53:15)
It's a study guide, right? Just constantly use it, And I think that's the issue with books. People think they're a one read. Well, you can't get everything you need to know the first time you just getting familiar with the information. Not when you're talking about intimacy. ⁓ yeah, you get, just people. Yeah, to learn. Right? All the different aspects of it. All right, I'm going go into it. Let's get that one. Let me grab that.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (53:35)
But yeah, the resources are so
important because, know, again, it's great, you know, it's okay to listen to people, especially people who may have certain experiences. Don't rule it out. I would say not make it the primary thing, but you you can, you can have it a part of, like I said, your arsenal. ⁓ And I know a lot of people, you know, consume podcasts, but we have to be really conscious about that because, you know, you have a lot of people talking ⁓ and they have some information that they're sharing that may not really apply, you know, to you.
Tina Marie (53:50)
Right, right, absolutely.
Right. may not help your relationship.
Or may not be very valid. Right. You know, it's like third hand. And they have no idea what they're talking about. You're like, what? But sometimes, a lot of times, if you are attracted to that podcast, then it resonates with you. So then you're drawn to that for a particular reason. I listen to some and I go like, oh man, I got to get out of here. You know? And then some is more thought provoking. Like, okay, these are more sensible. can understand.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (54:06)
Yeah, it may not for you, you know? Yeah. Right, yeah.
Yeah, Right, right.
Tina Marie (54:29)
Yeah, some people just want some, they just like drama, but go ahead. yeah, I like to. Drama makes money. Drama and sex drives money, but okay.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (54:31)
Yeah.
But
this is why it's so important to really learn because again, people who are in media, whether you're a podcaster, whether you're just whatever, you fall in that category of the media, your job is to bring the people, is to advertise, is to hook them in emotionally and get them invested because ultimately you're probably trying to sell them something. And it's okay to say that, that's their job. And so if a person that's viewing it,
Tina Marie (54:42)
Yes.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (55:04)
understands that is their ultimate goal, know that that's the top goal. The top goal may not necessarily be to save your marriage or your relationship. You they have a job to do. Now you can gather some information that they share, but you don't take it with a grain of salt.
Tina Marie (55:13)
Right. Exactly.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (55:19)
But the reason why reading is so important, and this is what we've gotten so far away from, you know, in our society because of that focus, our attention. The goal all along with like social media and just all of these distractions was to keep your attention on something for as long as possible. And so that you just forget everything else under the sun, right? Right. In a lot of areas, right. You know, but when you sit down and read a book,
Tina Marie (55:35)
Possible. Yep. And it has succeeded in a lot of areas, right? has. Just that. Yeah.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (55:46)
and you become familiar with it, you actually build a relationship with that book. I know for myself, when I read, it's almost like a bittersweet feeling when it's over because it's like, know, it's a great book, right? You know, and it's like, I was enjoying this process. was, you know, it was just, it was fun. It was like, okay, at this time, I know I'm gonna sit down and read my book.
Tina Marie (55:56)
Yeah, absolutely. Right, right.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (56:04)
I'ma vibe with this and take notes. And yeah, you look forward to it. But also reading and taking the time to read, it allows for us to really download the information in our brain as opposed to getting sound bites. And so when we're not getting the full picture and all of the information of something, then we're just getting these little nuggets. And so our brain is like, it's just everything is rapid fire. And it's like, don't even know which way to go. And so a book can help you kind of stay focused. And this is the subject matter that I am staying focused.
Tina Marie (56:06)
You gonna look forward to it. Yeah.
You ⁓
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (56:34)
on for this two, three, four hundred pages, you know, over the next, you know, few days, few weeks or even a few months. And so it's really important that we add, you know, reading back to our arsenal. And it's OK that people do read, you e-books and different things like that, just as long as you're sitting and reading the material and digesting the material and not just getting like, again, the sound bites or just like these two second, you know, whatever, or 30 second reels or 60 second reels. That's not really necessarily doing anything for you for the long.
Tina Marie (56:49)
Mm-hmm.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (57:04)
hall, you know, for the long term. It's fine for that moment, but are you going to be consistent, you know, with that? Will it stick? Like a book will probably stick to you. So yeah, it's really important to read. ⁓
Tina Marie (57:15)
Okay, I don't think you're gonna get a hold off from a 30-second reel. You might. You'll get a little bit of a punch. You go like, ooh. But you don't have anything to do with it, right? again, that may be the goal, right? Just to, like you said, to get your attention. So let's get this next comment and we're gonna get on on out
of here. Let's dot. Hey, Dot. Good evening, Jason, Tina, guests and listeners from Calumet City, Illinois. Hello, Dot. Welcome, Dot. you for tuning in.
And there's no Dennis today either, Dot, so I haven't seen Dennis. So does anyone, would anyone like to ask any questions to the intimacy guru? Guru. Does anyone have any questions if not, you know, people? And I know we're not talking about you got any issues with your intimacy. We know you don't, you're asking for a friend. I already know. You're just asking for, because we ask questions for generalization. We knew everything, we wouldn't have questions. So that's the whole point We just want a little clarity, that's all.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (57:41)
I'm
Thank
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. ⁓
Tina Marie (58:07)
All right, so
I'm going to shout Angie out again. You can find her book, The Intimacy Guru, at Amazon.com, or you can just Google Angie Lee. So make sure you get her book. Check it out. Do you have any other questions, honey? you have any other comments? missing about intimacy. You better ask for a friend.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (58:18)
you
Hahaha!
Well, you know what, I do wanna
gift you guys with something. First, allowing me to be in this space with you all, I'm very, very appreciative. And so I definitely wanna extend a free PDF. I have these relationship talk cards that have been.
Tina Marie (58:30)
Okay.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (58:41)
phenomenal for a lot of my clients. They speak very highly of it. It's kind of exclusive. don't too much put it out yet to the public. It's more so for clients when I'm on a podcast, but I want to extend that to you all. And you can give that to your viewers or if you want to do ⁓ a raffle or something like that. ⁓ what it is, is 150 questions based on true intimacy, around mental intimacy, physical, ⁓ emotional intimacy. And I always give this disclaimer, it's not going to break you all up. If anything, it's
to make you you come closer together. I promise. Yes, right. No problem.
Tina Marie (59:12)
They're like, you gave me these cards. Well, thank you, thank you so much. appreciate that. Yes, and for our viewing audience.
Guys, if you are interested in, so one set of cards, two set of cards, one set. And we can raffle them off. Okay. Questions.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (59:26)
Yeah, so it's 150 questions and then it's actually 10 bonus
questions too. So basically you're getting 160 questions in all of those areas of intimacy. And like I said, again, it really helps when you're just trying to kind of get closer again or even if you're trying to spark or re-spark your physical intimacy, but your emotional intimacy is kind of falling off a little bit. This will help you kind of bring that or bridge that gap a little bit more. So yeah.
Tina Marie (59:35)
Okay.
Absolutely. Okay.
All right. Well, thank you for pouring so much. Go ahead. was just saying, you know, the emotional intimacy, I think the reason why your physical intimacy lacks is because of your lack of emotional intimacy. Right. We don't even know how to connect emotionally. So we really just can't connect in the bed. And then when we do, it's just really no connection.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:00:05)
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Tina Marie (1:00:15)
So
Angie just blew up blew hours out of the water. So guys I was gonna say for those of you guys So she has for so much wisdom and compassion to today's conversation I appreciate it. Thank you so much and thank everyone for watching or listening either live or on the replay So we know that we are not settling we we don't want that surface level relationship That's what I always say and we want to go deeper. We want that deep love
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:00:35)
Yeah.
Thank
Tina Marie (1:00:40)
But ⁓ if you want, so this was about awareness and starting to heal and understanding. I got some things. OK. All right. I always miss them and then I hear about them. Hey, Hey, we got Nancy's comment. Nancy's always, wait a minute, you guys didn't see our comment. Hey, Nancy. Hey, thank you for joining us. We appreciate you tuning in tonight. I don't know how you missed that again, right? I know, right? All right, so I communicate perfectly. That's right. OK, Marcina, I know you do. Right?
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:01:08)
I'm
Tina Marie (1:01:09)
That's right. So so
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:01:10)
to see you.
Tina Marie (1:01:13)
we want to make sure, like I said, the awareness and the growth and sustaining through our emotional safety. And so I was going to say, go ahead. You can get it. OK, go. All right. Oh, so Jan. Hey, Jan. Jan jumping back and forth. OK, Jan, you're trying to trip me up a little bit. All right. All right. So Jan said, thoroughly engaging conversation. Enjoy totally as. Oh, you went off. Yeah. Totally as a single woman. All right. That's right. That's what we're saying. Well, first, you got to date yourself.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:01:17)
Thank
Thank
Tina Marie (1:01:39)
And when you get yourself together, Jan,
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:01:40)
Yep.
Tina Marie (1:01:41)
then we gonna know you're have so many... gonna be single no have fight them off. That's right. You'll be like, got myself together. That aura is just gonna be like vibrating. Yeah. All right. And then Martina said, that's a cool tool. That's right. So I was gonna tell you guys to go and download our free 20 questions to start... To start your journey on... So there are the... ⁓ 20 emotional... 20 emotional intimacy questions.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:01:43)
Thank you.
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Yeah. Yeah.
Tina Marie (1:02:09)
So they're the intimacy questions. Make sure you guys go to LegendaryRelationship.com and it's just 20. Angie D has gifted us and so I guess, Nick, so we haven't decided whether next Friday we are going to be live, but I think I am gonna try to go live on the fourth At a party? Yeah, at a party. And the reason why I said that is because we be on in part. It's a relative's house. Talking about family.
That's right. want to know their perspective. Family relationships. This is going to be a whole new dynamics because I'm telling you right now, way we think, can guarantee that most of them don't think like me. it's going to be on and popping when we talk about these emotional intelligence and stuff like that or whatever is going on. I just welcome the conversation. So what can we do? for a... Hold on one second. I want to put this on.
Thank you, Dr. Angie. Awesome. Awesome. All right. So I think we have another one. Yeah, we do, babe. OK. All right. OK. So you know, I'm over here. OK. I'm going get out of your business. All right. going to my glasses back on and Don't put them on, because it's going to be a minute. All right. Sandra, thank you, Sandra, for tuning in. see why she's the guru. That's right. that is. Well, you know what? Angie is your husband in the house. Maybe we should ask him to.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:02:57)
Thank you.
you
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I know,
I wish, I wish, I didn't want to interrupt, but he just left out, he's a DJ, so he has to DJ tonight. he just left the house.
Tina Marie (1:03:28)
You
Okay. Hey,
Mr. DJ. All right. It's Friday. ain't got time to be messing around. Oh, We got to get her back on so we can see if she's really the guru. You know, right? From his perspective, right? Right, right. And we have to tell him, it's okay. You're in a safe space. Like, what you say stays here. Like, blink twice if you can't tell the truth. You know, they'll be like, you know that politically correct stuff.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:03:36)
Yeah.
You gotta ask him, right, you gotta ask him.
Right.
Alright, alright.
Tina Marie (1:03:57)
And so guys, you can't... on one second. I told you you're gonna be a minute. All right. Reverend Patricia, hey, you, Hey, Patty. So, very outspoken woman, I'm wanting to know why would that be a serious turnoff? Time... ⁓ maybe you... Yeah, that's it. You gotta read I read. I'm trying to get Okay, take your Time is something I don't want to waste. ⁓ she's a very outspoken woman. I'm wanting to know why would that be a serious turnoff, being an outspoken woman?
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:04:16)
Okay. Right. Yeah.
Tina Marie (1:04:27)
I got my opinion, but I'm gonna let you take it.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:04:29)
Yeah, well,
know, first of all, you again, you want to embrace yourself if this is who you authentically are, you know, you're outspoken and you're direct. There's nothing wrong with that. And so the thing that I think gets misconstrued again is how we're communicating the message. Right. So yeah, so it's nothing wrong with being very, very clear on what you want, your goals, your direct about that. And again, like you say, you know, you value your time and you don't want to waste your time or someone else's. So it's definitely nothing wrong with that.
Tina Marie (1:04:46)
H-O-W.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:04:59)
But it is important to understand what kind of relationship you want and whatever that relationship is, what are some of the basic skills that you need to have that type of relationship successfully? That's the part you want to kind of study. So like if you want a relationship where, you know, maybe the guy is ⁓ very much into chivalry and he loves to do things for you, like that's his thing, then you have to also allow him to express it.
you know, how he sees fit sometimes. So if you're very outspoken about things, there's nothing wrong with that. So he'll know which direction to go with you. But at the same time, if you don't give him an opportunity to show you, that might be a turnoff to him. So it's not so much the outspokenness is the turnoff. It's really like, how are we communicating like this outspokenness, you know, that you're speaking of. So that's how I look at it from that perspective.
Tina Marie (1:05:52)
And
so you can't I mean, so you you can't that's kind of a blanket statement, right? It's just because you're outspoken. mean, you know, that works for every man out there. Right. You can still be outspoken. I got a very outspoken wife. Where's she at? OK. OK. So. Right. And I don't have a problem with that. Right. But it all depends on. But if someone else might have done that.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:05:56)
Right. ⁓
Right.
You like enough of that, don't you?
Yeah.
Tina Marie (1:06:22)
I might have felt a different way about it, right? I was a man that could accept her being strong and not having an issue with it. And I must say, did take me, if I'm speaking for myself, it did take me some time because we met very young and I didn't do any reading in beginning, right? So I'm going all off on what I know and I had to learn how to speak. I'm not saying I got it all packed down.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:06:23)
Thank
Thank
Yeah. Yeah.
Tina Marie (1:06:50)
But but I do allow him to be the man when he needs to be the man and I do and we understand each other's strengths but what I was gonna add to that also was that when you say being outspoken one is How how how is it being delivered and the other thing is as you said? What are you looking for in a mate? Right, so we have to be clear in the type of mate that we want but we also have to
match that in ourselves. So if you want a loving mate, you have to be loving. If you want a, like you said, chivalry, So that brought me to another point. We had a couple where the man wanted to start, well, the woman wanted the man to start opening up the door. Right? so they had been dating for 10, 12, a long time. And now she's like, okay, I want you to start opening up the door for me. And he's like, why?
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:07:43)
Yeah.
Tina Marie (1:07:44)
I have all these years, why
should I start now? And so understanding what that mate looks like. What does he look like? How does he show up? How does he communicate? How does he understand? know, ⁓ is he like with Jason, he says, I'm a strong enough man. Well, I didn't feel, ⁓ what's the word? Threatened or a little or anything. Exactly. I didn't feel threatened by her being a strong woman because what that at the end, what that does is that makes your relationship stronger.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:07:52)
Mm-hmm.
Thank you.
Tina Marie (1:08:08)
So where I may be strong, he may be a little weak, and where he was strong, I may be a little weak. So it helps balance it out. But also we have to make sure that we are the equivalent of what we're looking for. So we can't be very outspoken and not know how to speak, but we also can't get a very passive man that maybe that's not what we want. But then if we get someone who's outspoken, if that's what we want, we have to make sure that our way of communicating, we have ourselves together. I'm ready to communicate with you.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:08:18)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Tina Marie (1:08:37)
it may be even help you or show you, but we have to make sure that we are in alignment with that which what we are desiring. True, I got another comment. Okay.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:08:43)
Yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah.
And I think too, you know, the things that we're most passionate about that we are saying we want in relationships or who we are, those are actually gonna be ⁓ gateways to our triggers, believe it or not. So like the things that we're not really that passionate about or we don't really, we don't hold in high regard, we're probably not gonna have too much conflict around that. Cause it doesn't really matter, you know, to us. But if outspokenness is something that you truly value within yourself.
Tina Marie (1:08:59)
Okay.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:09:12)
you're gonna have to know how to work within that because that's something that's very valuable to you that you cherish or that you're passionate about. So anyone could possibly trigger it because you're so like, that's important. So you do have to know those things about yourself. Like these things that you feel like are just a part of who you are and what kind of defines you is you also have to know how to reel that back in sometimes because that can fall off the rails sometimes if we're not careful.
Tina Marie (1:09:24)
Right, right, right, right, right, right.
Exactly.
Absolutely, and I'm gonna just add to it again It's so important to know what you want because if you if you say why I want a man who does this and then when they do it you don't like it or You don't speak up enough or so you have to be sometimes we're so we're not specific enough as to what we're looking for and it's not because We don't we have we just haven't taken the time to really think that far, know some again this surface level surface level relationships
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:09:50)
Mm-hmm.
Tina Marie (1:10:10)
Well, I know I want a man who provides. I want a man who does this. I want a man who does that. And then we don't think beyond that, OK, well, if you want a man who provides, then that may mean that he's out of the house 12 hours out of 24. Are you going to be OK with that? And so we have to be very clear. And we talked about clarity with who you are, as well as the type of person that you're trying to attract. What does that look like? What does that feel like? What does that sound like? How do you guys communicate? How does
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:10:19)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Tina Marie (1:10:36)
How does he receive you being outspoken? Does he value that? And I think that's, when you said that, I think that's something that you want to make sure that that person values and accepts you as a person who is outspoken. And that's OK. So you have to know. But again, we have to be careful with being outspoken and just kind of being, ⁓ it's not what we say, but how we say it. Right. But she says, Rev says, she's straight to the point.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:10:36)
Yeah.
Thank
Thank
Tina Marie (1:11:03)
I'm gonna say what I'm gonna say and I'm gonna get my point across. I'm gonna put it right between the eyes and how it is, it's how it is.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:11:03)
Hey, I feel
you. understand. ⁓
Tina Marie (1:11:11)
And you know
what I think I think that may have I think for ⁓ especially black woman that may get a bad vibe sometime and so I need to put it out there but also I think men Forget that they value that I think that because men said well I don't know what you want Tell me what you want and then when we're straightforward and we tell them they're like look you too straightforward Well, what is it? So, you know, I think that doses small doses. Yes, so it's definitely also how you say it but ⁓
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:11:29)
⁓ Yep, small doses. ⁓
Tina Marie (1:11:38)
I think men appreciate that. can appreciate a woman who knows what she wants or is able to express herself or tell me what you need. know, because for me, I may tell my husband, I want a cookie today and next week I want chips and I don't want the same thing. I want to be clear. back the same thing. If you know I like something, don't bring me nothing else. Very simple. I don't care if it looks, if it's similar or something else. Try this with an extra piece of chocolate. Nope, I don't want the extra chocolate.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:11:51)
Thank you. ⁓
Right.
Tina Marie (1:12:05)
But just being clear and being able to Yeah, I made the mistake the other day. I brought back a bag of chips. Exactly. But it was the same chips you bought last week. I was unpacking the groceries. She said, I hope you didn't buy me no chips. You're not supposed to tell that.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:12:09)
He's my goodness, I thought it was chips today.
Right,
Tina Marie (1:12:25)
I said I was gonna stop eating chips. They bad for you. They were almost gone and I said, know what? I don't want my baby to run out. I'm gonna pick her up another bag of chips. All right, we gonna close. You got any more conversations? We just go. We just go skip right on over that. All right. So MJ said great conversation. Thank you MJ for tuning in. appreciate that.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:12:27)
Thank
You're right! I was thinking about you. I was thinking.
See you
Tina Marie (1:12:44)
And let's talk to Regina. Regina said great conversation. Great guru. Yes. All right. So again, this is Angie D. Lee. She has she is the intimacy guru. You can find her book on Amazon or you can Google her name and you can. I was going to put that you can find her connector with Angie, Angie D. Lee dot com or follow her at Angie D. Lee. All right. So what platforms are you on, Angie?
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:12:48)
Thank you.
Yes, I'm
on LinkedIn and I'm on YouTube. ⁓ I used to be on Facebook, TikTok, and Instagram, but I'm kind of veering away from that. ⁓ just trying to keep my focus. So I'm definitely on LinkedIn and YouTube is definitely a good spot to catch a lot of my videos. So, yeah.
Tina Marie (1:13:10)
Okay.
Wonderful wonderful. All right, what's your channel? Your channel is at Angie D Lee? Okay. Yeah, beautiful. All right any more conversations I don't know So we already get ribs, right? All right. All right guys, so I think that is another episode for us. What do you think? Yeah, I think I'm feeling real good about intimacy right now. All right So guys we are going to come up with a way to give away So next Friday if you guys are tuning in at 6 o'clock We are going to come live on the 4th of July from where we are
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:13:25)
Angie Daley.
Yeah, yeah.
Tina Marie (1:13:52)
And we're going to... Well, you know what? Maybe. Nope, we're going to it. So, Tinnemarie likes to put that out there. And who's responsible for making this happen? The cameraman. So, he's just worried because he's got to be the cameraman, the control man. At a party. So, if anybody wants to help us next Friday... At a party. At a party, you're welcome. Just email us, info at LegendaryRelationship.com. With music. With music. We're going to find a spot.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:14:10)
Thank
Thank
Yeah.
Tina Marie (1:14:22)
But we are going to give away the cards next
Friday on July 4th, which is Independence Day for some and not Independence Day for others. But hey, we going to party anyway. So I'm going go get some free food. Hold on. All right. So Dot says, have a fantastic evening and weekend, everyone. Thank you, Dot. The same to you. One more? All right. know. That's OK. That's fine. My apologies. All right. Raph says, thank you for the constructive advice. Yes. Very welcome.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:14:31)
you
in the new.
You're welcome.
Tina Marie (1:14:51)
And so I'm gonna, okay. I was just gonna say, I'm gonna give a book. Patty, read our book. All right, Dodd says, I was late tuning in, but I love what I was able to hear. Thank you, Dodd. We thank you for tuning in. Make sure you watch the replay. And if guys, if you like what you hear, please push the share button. Please share it with someone. Hit share and just highlight their names. Send it to someone because we all know someone who knows someone who knows someone who could use this advice if we can't use it ourselves.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:14:57)
you
Thank you.
Tina Marie (1:15:19)
Take what you can and leave the rest on the table for somebody else. know you have a friend out there that needs a little bit of advice, right? This is perfect stuff for them, how to get more intimacy. All right, so again, you can go to YouTube at Legendary Relationship and subscribe. Make sure you subscribe so that you can get notified when we go live. Next Friday, my husband and I will be live. And so we are going to come up with something to give away the cards. And so I thank you again, Angie D.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:15:24)
Yeah.
you
Thank
Tina Marie (1:15:46)
for giving those, we truly appreciate to our wonderful audience. So you guys tune in next Friday to see how what we're going to do. We'll come up with something. And so, but in the meantime, you can go get our Me's Little 20 questions and you can start there. You can go down, combine, that's right. That's the start. So go and download our free 20 intimacy questions, emotional intimacy. Ours is just on emotional intimacy. So you can download them, get the conversation started. And then,
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:15:59)
It's a package. We'll put it all together.
Thank
Tina Marie (1:16:15)
You gotta be in it to win it for Angie's like 160. 160, right? All right, she read your book. All of it, all right, Rev, there you go. So we gonna make sure, I've read your book, hey, hey, hey. And so we know that we're doing that right, that work. So we gonna, I already know that he's coming and he's gonna surprise you because when you give it to him, straight to him, he's not even gonna flinch. He gonna be like, that's all you got?
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:16:18)
you
Right.
Tina Marie (1:16:43)
And then you're gonna try to do it some more. He gonna be like, come on, you gonna do it better than that. You gonna be surprised. Yep.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:16:47)
Can I add a tidbit to that too? So
when you're being direct, then you want to add a little sprinkle to it, right? And so you definitely want to do something that appeals to him from a physical intimacy standpoint. So if you do the directness and add that with it, whatever that is that he likes.
Tina Marie (1:17:07)
Look out, we going to Patty's wedding. That's right, we going to Patty's wedding. All right, so with my book and Angie D's book, game plan. Come on, y'all can't lose with the we use. on. With a little pixie dyes on it? ⁓ my goodness. Special seasoning, come on. That's right. Man, you better watch out. That's right.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:17:08)
Right.
yeah, yeah.
Tina Marie (1:17:32)
And then what I said, you can't lose with the stuff we use. All
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:17:34)
Hey!
Tina Marie (1:17:36)
right, guys, we are going to get out of for real. So thank you guys. We had so much fun. Thank you so much. And we will definitely welcome you back again, because I'm sure this doesn't end the conversation. Janice says, all right, let's get Janice before we get out of here. Janice says, Dr. Jason and Dr. Tina Marie. Yay. Love y'all. We love you, too. Thank you so much for tuning in. And don't forget, guys, please hit the share button. And if you guys are not
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:17:40)
Thank you for having me. Thank you.
Thank
you
Tina Marie (1:18:01)
Subscribers on YouTube go to YouTube. We're gonna start recommending Jason. I found this wonderful Chill, what is it called? Chill jazz? Yeah, it's like chill jazz Like low-fi and it's just meditation and it's all with the same and so we're going to start at the bottom of our Podcast we're gonna start putting those links and so you guys can go and get it if you're in a relationship Or you trying to get it into later. You just relax and
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:18:09)
Thank
Tina Marie (1:18:25)
We loved it. good reading music too. So it's just background music. It's just, you know, chill, you know, just lay back and just pick up a good book and read it. There you go. So we are going. It's not designed for television watching. If you want to, if you want to go ahead, put it on and watch TV. We're proponents of book readers over here. So we're going to start recommending books. We're going to start recommending ⁓ listening channels on YouTube or Spotify, whatever. So you guys tune in and make sure you are in the know.
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:18:27)
Thank
Thank you.
Right.
Tina Marie (1:18:55)
So don't forget like, share, and subscribe. Don't forget to hit the share button. It costs you nothing. hit the share button. You want to share it. Angie D, you want to say anything before we get out of here?
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:19:02)
You know
what, again, just thank you all for having me. I'm just so appreciative of your audience too for just embracing me. Any way that we could just bring that intimacy back and just alive in relationships, that is the ultimate goal. So I'm for it.
Tina Marie (1:19:18)
We're gonna walk around as a big ball of intimacy. just we don't even go know why we just So we gotta see what she said you gotta start with yourself. We just don't we gonna be already All right, have to be it so you can attract it, right? that's the I'm glad you said that the other thing is the my webinar that I the workshop the four-day workshop will be available online, so
Angie D. Lee, LCSW (1:19:22)
Thank
Yeah. ⁓
Thank
Tina Marie (1:19:42)
I'm now making it digital so you can actually get it the four day workshop. It'll be whenever it can be one day for you for four hours, but it's a four day workshop that we recorded. So now I am going to be dropping that under. Can you do the link in Instagram or I'm gonna have the link out there. It'll be in our profiles, but you can just go to legendary relationship.com and you can get the workshop there. All right. So next Friday in the, I think next Friday and during the week, I'm going to have some testimonies from a couple of ladies.
a few ladies who have taken, who took the workshop and just was blown away. They loved it. They changed some things in their lives, which was what the goal of the workshop was. So guys, don't forget, you can go to our website for all of this information at Legendary Relationship. You can get the workshop, you can get the 20 questions, you can get the book, you can get some free resources, free ebook. You can listen to the podcast. And you can also...
get Angie's book, link to her website, link to her Amazon book. So all that will be in the show notes on YouTube. And you can get the links to the music that you can go listen to. All right, guys. Well, that is another episode for us. You want to close it You want me to close it out? You can go ahead and close it out, All right. So as always, guys, we're in. Hello?
I don't know what he doing Angie. I was like...
All right, guys, Jason tough. We got the thing. And as always, we're in it to win it later, guys. We love and appreciate you. See you next Friday. All right. Hang on, Angie.
The Intimacy Guru Unlocks Love Through Emotional Safety and Connection
Jul 02, 2025•1 hr 21 min•Ep. 166
Listen to this episode in Metacast mobile app
Don't just listen to podcasts. Learn from them with transcripts, summaries, and chapters for every episode. Skim, search, and bookmark insights. Learn more
Episode description
In this engaging conversation, Tina Marie and intimacy coach Angie D. Lee explore the multifaceted nature of intimacy, emphasizing its importance in all types of relationships. They discuss the Manifest Method framework, the significance of emotional safety, and the common misconceptions surrounding intimacy and sex.
The dialogue highlights the necessity of understanding oneself and one's partner, effective communication strategies, and the role of emotional regulation in fostering deeper connections. Angie shares insights on navigating triggers and the importance of clarity in expressing needs, ultimately guiding listeners toward healthier, more fulfilling relationships. In this engaging conversation, Angie D. Lee and Tina Marie explore the multifaceted nature of relationships, emphasizing the importance of emotional intelligence, the impact of social media, and the necessity of clear communication.
They discuss the tools available for personal growth and relationship enhancement, including reading and resources, while also addressing the complexities of intimacy and the significance of being outspoken in relationships. The dialogue encourages listeners to reflect on their own relationship dynamics and the importance of understanding oneself to foster deeper connections.
Transcript
Transcript source: Provided by creator in RSS feed: download file
For the best experience, listen in Metacast app for iOS or Android
Open in Metacast