Secrets to Building Emotional Intimacy

**Transcript for Loving Beyond the I Do Podcast: Episode on Secrets to Building Emotional Intimacy**

**\[00:00:00\]**\
Jason: Uh, all right. Hey, let's get real. Emotional intimacy.

**\[00:00:04\]**\
Tina: What is it? What is it, baby? What is emotional intimacy?

**\[00:00:08\]**\
Jason: Intimacy that everybody says they want, but people don't know what it is or how to get it.

**\[00:00:12\]**\
Tina: Exactly right. So here's a question for you guys. Is your partner really your ride or die, or are you just roommates with some history?

**\[00:00:19\]**\
Jason: All right, so if you're out there looking for love and you're ready to build something real, or are you just chasing vibes?

**\[00:00:27\]**\
Tina: Right. People say, "He was a vibe." We need you to know the difference in how to build emotional intimacy, so let's keep it real. Emotional intimacy might have been the problem of your last relationship and what it was missing.

**\[00:00:41\]**\
Jason: Okay, welcome to Loving Beyond the I Do podcast. This power couple is building stronger marriages one day at a time, talking about real issues on love, relationships, and marriage longevity.

**\[00:00:58\]**\
Tina: Let's break down the barriers and engage in healthy conversation with your hosts, Jason and Tina Marie. Take a seat and buckle up, because things are about to get real.

**\[00:01:12\]**\
Jason: Welcome to Loving Beyond the I Do podcast. We are Jason and Tina Marie. That's me.

**\[00:01:18\]**\
Tina: And we're here to help transform relationships by inspiring and empowering individuals to become aware of the roles their thoughts and emotions play, break free from limiting beliefs, and elevate emotional intelligence by applying universal laws.

**\[00:01:36\]**\
Jason: So we want to welcome you to tonight's Friday Night Live. Last Friday, Jason and I were at the show, yes, the play, the Black Ensemble. We were watching Hit Records.

**\[00:01:48\]**\
Tina: If it was not a hit, they don't sell it. All right. And we had a great time.

**\[00:01:53\]**\
Jason: Yeah, we did. So shout out to everyone who came out and joined us for Hit Records. It was a great time, a great evening.

**\[00:02:02\]**\
Tina: And last Friday, I had to do it out by myself.

**\[00:02:05\]**\
Jason: Yeah, you did. And you did an excellent job, I have to give you that.

**\[00:02:09\]**\
Tina: I was really surprised. So I know you may not have been able to hear me.

**\[00:02:12\]**\
Jason: No, I heard you quite well.

**\[00:02:14\]**\
Tina: Yeah. And so there was music playing behind my head, and it was just a lot. It was a lot going on. So I was like, it's really weird being in the middle of the floor, and everybody's kind of looking at you, and they're like, what is she doing? And you're trying to go live, right?

**\[00:02:29\]**\
Jason: And people are like, what's going on? That's when they want to talk to you as soon as you go live. And then after I stop, then she wants to turn down the music.

**\[00:02:36\]**\
Tina: But all right, so we want to thank you for tuning in to tonight's episode. And if you're tuning in for the first time or the millionth time, we want to welcome you and ask you to join us again by subscribing to our channel, which is Legendary Relationship.

**\[00:02:54\]**\
Jason: What do we do here? At Legendary Relationship, we are tackling issues in marriage and relationships.

**\[00:03:01\]**\
Tina: Right on. Right on. Although there's no one size fits all, we tell every solution doesn't fit every problem, every problem doesn't have the exact same solution.

**\[00:03:12\]**\
Jason: Right. So we want you to realize that you need to be open to ways of doing new things and making a commitment to change so things can and will change for the better when we start the change first, but it begins and ends with you and what you're willing to do for yourself and your relationship.

**\[00:03:35\]**\
Tina: All right, all right. Although throughout the podcast, we encourage you to actively participate, share your experiences, and ask questions to engage with us, your hosts, and other viewers as well during this live conversation.

**\[00:03:53\]**\
Jason: So this is a Friday Night Live. The reason why we go live is so that we can interact with you, so that you can ask questions, we can give you answers, or you can just comment on what we're saying or what you want to know. We always want to hear from you, the viewer.

**\[00:04:10\]**\
Tina: All right, so how can you connect with us? We're just about everywhere that you could possibly be. We are on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube, TikTok, and Pinterest.

**\[00:04:21\]**\
Jason: And for the audio version of the podcast, you can just go to our website, legendaryrelationship.com and click on Podcast.

**\[00:04:30\]**\
Tina: All right, so there is a video portion, an audio portion. So if you want to hear the audio, you can always go to our website, legendaryrelationship.com and click on podcast.

**\[00:04:40\]**\
Jason: So for Jason and I, the biggest part of the battle for us in overcoming some of our issues was we both needed to be right.

**\[00:04:48\]**\
Tina: Right. And we weren't willing to see things from the other person's point of view. It was just always our view. And then we weren't open to new ways of solving old problems or reoccurring problems.

**\[00:05:02\]**\
Jason: We found out through trials and tribulations, through coaching, through research, through reading, that that's what our issues were.

**\[00:05:09\]**\
Tina: Right? So no one was willing to come over to the other side. Which means that you have your point of view, I have my point of view. I'm not just going to say, okay, I agree with you, and then let's solve it. That was the issue.

**\[00:05:22\]**\
Jason: And when this happens, or when it happened in our relationship or in any relationship, that's where emotional intimacy and emotional trust and closeness begin to break down.

**\[00:05:34\]**\
Tina: So most of the time, you're not even aware that this is happening and that what's going on under the surface because you're so involved in what's going on right in front of you, the day-to-day, the conflict.

**\[00:05:46\]**\
Jason: That you're not realizing that with every conflict or what? Mishap, uh, or disagreement. That's the word I was looking for. Every disagreement. That, um, if we're not careful, that we're actually building a wall between us of emotional intimacy without even knowing it.

**\[00:06:06\]**\
Tina: Absolutely. Exactly. All right. But you know what? When we talk about emotional intimacy, what are we talking about?

**\[00:06:12\]**\
Jason: Emotional intimacy is the foundation of a strong and healthy relationship.

**\[00:06:16\]**\
Tina: Absolutely. It's what allows couples to feel deeply connected, understood, and supported.

**\[00:06:22\]**\
Jason: When emotional intimacy is present, both partners feel safe to share their thoughts, feelings, and their vulnerabilities.

**\[00:06:30\]**\
Tina: Now, for me, and I know that sometimes can be challenging because we don't want to always show our vulnerability.

**\[00:06:36\]**\
Jason: Vulnerability. And I know. You know what? Uh, for us, we know that vulnerability has become this buzzword.

**\[00:06:42\]**\
Tina: Yep. Right. So what do we mean by that? So when we're talking about emotional intimacy, it needs to be deeply connected. You're deeply connected. Everybody wants to be connected. Everyone wants to be understood. Everyone wants to be valued in their relationship.

**\[00:07:02\]**\
Jason: So when we're talking about these things, what do they look like? What do they show up in your relationship as? Right.

**\[00:07:09\]**\
Tina: When we're talking about being vulnerable, we have to be careful. Because if we are not emotionally intimate, then those vulnerabilities can turn. Vulnerabilities going to someone else, not to our mate.

**\[00:07:20\]**\
Jason: All right. Which will cause problems. Exactly. So we wanted you. When we're. When we. When we decided to talk about emotional intimacy tonight, we thought we would give you a couple of references out of our book that helped you to understand when we're applying the laws, right? The universal laws and how they show up in your relationship.

**\[00:07:43\]**\
Tina: And so, um, the first one was we're talking about the law of inspired action. And in our book, it says it is through the transformative process that your relationship will evolve from mere aspirations to living and fulfilling experiences.

**\[00:08:01\]**\
Jason: You will witness the impact your individual and collective intentional efforts as they advance emotional intimacy, replace challenges, and give you more to celebrate through your shared accomplishments.

**\[00:08:15\]**\
Tina: So what we're saying is that you have to make sure that when we're paying attention to what's not happening, which means that we're not connecting. We're also paying attention to how to solve those things that are not going on.

**\[00:08:30\]**\
Jason: So without emotional intimacy, relationships can feel hollow or just transactional.

**\[00:08:35\]**\
Tina: Absolutely. Partners may live side by side but feel miles apart all the time emotionally.

**\[00:08:41\]**\
Jason: Yep. Over time, this disconnect can lead to misunderstandings, resentment, and a sense of isolation within the relationship.

**\[00:08:49\]**\
Tina: So what does that mean when we say you have to pay attention? This is how. When you're not emotionally intimate, this is how it shows up in your relationship. Right. You say one thing and your partner says, "You're always misunderstanding me." That's a red flag.

**\[00:09:05\]**\
Jason: That's a red flag. Okay. Or your partner does something and you resent them for it. That means that with every incident or conflict, your emotional intimacy, your gap is getting wider and wider.

**\[00:09:17\]**\
Tina: When we feel isolated, even though we're in a relationship, but we feel like we're by ourselves, that means that you're not connecting on an emotional level. So think about that for a second. You're in a relationship as two people, and you feel isolated. Something's right.

**\[00:09:34\]**\
Jason: You feel alone in a relationship with two people. Something just seems really off with that. Right. How can two people feel isolated? And, and, but because you're not connected, you're not talking, you're not caring. You just kind of avoiding each other.

**\[00:09:50\]**\
Tina: So let's talk about what are some of the signs when your relationship lacks emotional intimacy? So put out a nice little list for you guys. All right? Let's get to it. It means limited communication, emotional distance, lack of vulnerability, reduced affection, avoidance of conflict, and loneliness.

**\[00:10:10\]**\
Jason: So let's go back to emotional distance. What does that look like? One of both partners, as Jason said, either talks shallow or your whole conversation is about what needs to be done instead of the relationship.

**\[00:10:22\]**\
Tina: So it's about you guys are talking about chores and things of that nature. You're limited in your communication. So I'm not gonna say much to you. It's just the very bare minimum. What time are you picking the kids up? You're gonna get this. You know, I'll be home at this time. This, any other. But nothing more than just the bare minimum.

**\[00:10:43\]**\
Jason: So when we say lack of, um, did I? Did was the first one emotional distance, or did I say it's limited communication? Oh, limited communication, my bad.

**\[00:10:52\]**\
Tina: All right, so that's what we. Because I'm looking at this one, I think you said emotional distance, and I meant. Right. But then you said talking about lack of communication, so I meant lack of communication. So the first one was lack of communication. What that means is that our conversations are shallow. They're not deep. They're not. They're pretty much focused on the day to day. They're focused on what we need to do, where we're going, who's doing the chores.

**\[00:11:19\]**\
Jason: Did you pick this up? You notice your conversation on the phone call, say, "Hey, did you do XYZ?" Right. And then you hang up. Right. There's no talks about feeling, um, your feelings or deeper topics. It's all about the logistics of what your relationship is doing.

**\[00:11:36\]**\
Tina: Okay. All right, let's go ahead and get some of these comments in.

**\[00:11:39\]**\
Jason: Okay. Oh, all right. So make sure that, like Jason said, if, uh, please interact with us, please leave a comment so that we can shout you out. We cannot see who is watching. So if you want us to shout you out and welcome you to the live, please make sure to put your name in the comments.

**\[00:11:56\]**\
Tina: Yeah. All right. Then we talked about emotional distance, where one or both partners feel misunderstood, unseen, and unimportant.

**\[00:12:06\]**\
Jason: Wow. Right. So I was talking to a young lady, and she said, there's three things in my relationship that are important to me. That I'm understood, right? That I feel seen and heard. Okay. Right. And that I am important and safe.

**\[00:12:22\]**\
Tina: Right. There you go. So when we talk about these things, if you are feeling misunderstood, you feel like you're not being seen or unimportant. And we could go on. Yes. We could put. You could put on in front of everything, in front of a lot of things. Unloved, unwanted, unappreciated. So that's what we mean by un. When you are feeling this way.

**\[00:12:46\]**\
Jason: We think that this is the natural process for relationships, and it's not. What it is is showing you that there is an issue in your relationship and that if you don't, you know, at least address it, then it can get bigger and bigger until it gets to a point where your relationship no longer has a foundation to stand on.

**\[00:13:06\]**\
Tina: Right. So let's get into the next thing. Lack of vulnerability. So what does that mean? That means that your partner, either one of you guys, are hesitant to share your true feelings, your fears, and your dreams.

**\[00:13:19\]**\
Jason: Uh, and so why? Why do we think that? Why do you think vulnerability plays a big issue when we're talking about emotional intimacy?

**\[00:13:27\]**\
Tina: Because if we're sharing our fears or our dreams, one, we don't want our dreams to get squashed. That could be a problem. And fears, we don't want our fears to be discounted. Uh, like, uh, what are you scared of? Why are you worried about that? You know, just discounting our fears.

**\[00:13:46\]**\
Jason: So that's all my true feelings. If I say something about a situation, um, and then you just say, "No, that's not the case." I get, I think everyone's called that gaslighting, um, at this point.

**\[00:14:00\]**\
Tina: So now we're not going to be vulnerable because, listen, you're not gonna, you're not gonna hurt my feelings. And that's where her feelings come from, right? Because I say something which are my true feelings, right? And this is how I truly feel. And then I say it to you, and then you say, "It's not that way."

**\[00:14:17\]**\
Jason: I don't know why you're feeling that way. I think also, um, a lack of vulnerability is because we don't want to share too much because we are afraid that it's going to come back up. So what happens is that our past experiences dictate what we will or won't do in the future.

**\[00:14:34\]**\
Tina: And so if I've shared something with you that you brought back up, whether it was a fear of mine, something I felt when, when. Usually when two partners are trying to express what's going on, they're usually sharing how they feel. And so as Jason said, if it's discounted or overlooked or not taken as valid or it's brought back up. Well, you said X, Y, Z. And this is why you did that. That's another reason why we experience lack of vulnerability in relationships.

**\[00:14:59\]**\
Jason: So what was the other one? Was reduced affection. So when we're talking about not having emotional intimacy, you will experience less and less physical and verbal expressions of love and appreciation.

**\[00:15:12\]**\
Tina: Now, I saw a study, I saw a stat on a study that said for a female normally, uh, like 90% after the first 12 months of being together and being intimate, after that, their sex drives drop about 90%. Because it is attached and driven by emotional intimacy.

**\[00:15:30\]**\
Jason: Absolutely. And so if you're wondering why all of a sudden you just fell off a cliff, now you know why. Because now it's more. So it's not. It shouldn't take a dive like that. Because now it's more in tune attune to, um, emotional intimacy.

**\[00:15:48\]**\
Tina: You talking about the dive. The dive. Yeah, yeah. The sexual drive. Right. Yep.

**\[00:15:52\]**\
Jason: And so we just think that this is natural. Right. I, um, have kids, I have responsibilities, I have issues. And what happens is that life takes a toll. Life takes on its own new meaning, and we forget that the relationship still needs to be nurtured in the areas of emotional intimacy.

**\[00:16:12\]**\
Tina: So another thing is, what does it look like? Avoidance of conflict. Most of the time people just don't want to address the issues. They ignore them, they sweep them under the rug. Instead of being addressed constructively, they're kind of just like, let's not deal with them at all. Let's not do it. Or one, you know, one. Someone may leave.

**\[00:16:34\]**\
Jason: Right. So conflict comes up, one of the partners leave and be like, look, I don't want to deal with this. They come back. When they come back, it's like, well, we don't want to deal with, we don't want to deal with it. That was over. Or they come back later where the issue, they're hoping that the issue has now died down and they don't have to address it.

**\[00:16:51\]**\
Tina: So that's avoidance of the conflict because you're not emotionally connected. When you are invested in someone emotionally, you want to continue to have that emotional intimacy where you know that you are connected, heard, and felt.

**\[00:17:06\]**\
Jason: Another thing is loneliness. As Jason and I said, how can you be in a relationship and you feel lonely? That's another sign that you are not emotionally intimate with each other. You're feeling low lonely even though you guys are together or you're in a relationship or a marriage.

**\[00:17:23\]**\
Tina: So we have to be aware of how we're showing up in our relationship in order to fix them. And so when we're talking about, usually we think about, hey, you know, I, uh, just. It's about getting the guy, getting the relationship. And then everything goes, well, no, everything requires maintenance and your relationship is no different.

**\[00:17:43\]**\
Jason: So you have to be able to see these things as they come up so that we can fix them before they get out of hand. Before your car breaks down.

**\[00:17:50\]**\
Tina: Right, right. So pay attention when the dash light comes on. Right. I know. So when we...

**\[00:17:56\]**\
Jason: Another, another part. And so we're addressing the book because the book is about manifesting a joy-filled relationship. This is our book and so applying it to universal laws. So the universal laws are laws that govern our universe and we can use them or not, but they're there. It's just like the law of gravity. You can believe in it or don't believe in it, but it's going to keep on being the law of gravity.

**\[00:18:25\]**\
Tina: So just like the universal laws, they're here to help us in our relationship. And so what Jason and I did in our book is we took the universal laws and we addressed them to the issues in relationships and how to use them.

**\[00:18:39\]**\
Jason: And so under the law of inspired action, it states that creating a safe and supportive environment where both partners can feel vulnerable promotes emotional intimacy and strengthens your bond. It involves openness, empathy, and a devotion to the sharing and a devotion to sharing fears, hopes, and dreams without reserve.

**\[00:19:02\]**\
Tina: So we're just making sure that you understand what they look like when that, what emotional intimacy when you're lacking it looks like in your relationship. And then the book addresses these issues and tells you how you can get it back in your relationship.

**\[00:19:17\]**\
Jason: Right. And so anything can be fixed when you have two people that are willing and you have to be. It has to be two. I mean, you can start with one. Absolutely. But you have to come along, right? That's the only way you're gonna make real change.

**\[00:19:34\]**\
Tina: Well, when we say two people, that means two people want the relationship.

**\[00:19:38\]**\
Jason: Exactly. Right. So even if one is doing the work, you both have to want the relationship. You have to want to work on the relationship, and you have to want the relationship as an end result.

**\[00:19:54\]**\
Tina: All right? So if you haven't gotten a copy of Manifest A Joy Filled Relationship, you can know now go and grab it for free. All we just ask is if you cover the shipping and handling so you can get it for free at manifestajoyfilledrelationship.com.

**\[00:20:12\]**\
Jason: And we are transforming relationships all across the world. And this is how we are making sure that this book gets in the hands of anyone who needs it. And so all you need to do, as Jason said, is cover the shipping and handling costs. But the book is free.

**\[00:20:30\]**\
Tina: Now, for those of you out there who already have your copy of the book, you can now get the accompanying workbook.

**\[00:20:36\]**\
Jason: Yes, right. You can get. So there is an actual workbook that accompanies the book. You can get that on our website at legendaryrelationship.com or you can sign up for the three-day masterclass, which is self-paced, which is also a companion to the book. Or you can just get the book, then sign up for the three-day masterclass as well. Either way, and then grab the workbook to go along with it.

**\[00:21:02\]**\
Tina: We have everything you need for you to manifest the life that you truly desire in your relationship and all your relationships. Right. Because you show up present in all the relationships in your life.

**\[00:21:15\]**\
Jason: All right, so let's continue on. All right, so what happens, Tina, when emotional intimacy is missing? Don't answer that question.

**\[00:21:23\]**\
Tina: Okay. What do relationships really look like when they are experiencing emotional intimacy breakdown?

**\[00:21:30\]**\
Jason: So what do relationships look like when they're really experiencing emotional intimacy breakdown? Okay. All right, so what they're looking like. Let's hear your comments. What do you think it is? What is... What do relationships look like when you are experiencing emotional intimacy breakdown?

**\[00:21:50\]**\
Tina: Um, mounds and mounds of conflict, increased conflict, emotional disconnection.

**\[00:21:56\]**\
Jason: Okay. Erosion of some trust. And I'm going to pick one of yours. Vulnerability. But I'm going to say vulnerability to infidelity. Okay. All right.

**\[00:22:06\]**\
Tina: And then we're going to decline in satisfaction and breakdown of the relationship. So let's go ahead and address some of these. Okay. List. All right. Okay. So conflict. I mean, I know we talked about it before, so it's increased conflict. So conflict is...

**\[00:22:25\]**\
Jason: First, let's, ah, let us say that conflict is natural. Right. It's a natural part of the relationship. Right. You have to have conflict in order to know how to work through issues and disagreements. We're dealing with two different people with two different backgrounds, two different experiences, two different results in their lives. And so you're going to have misunderstandings, you're going to have conflicts, you're going to have a different ways of doing things.

**\[00:22:50\]**\
Tina: So conflict is natural, but it all depends on how you resolve your conflict. So, and then when you get an increased number of conflict, right. You have lots and lots of misunderstanding, unresolved issues that escalate to frequent, frequent arguments.

**\[00:23:05\]**\
Jason: That means you guys are arguing all the time. So that's how you... I mean, these are just signs. Right. So we want you guys to pay attention to this because you're wondering why, oh, you know, we don't hold hands or we don't do this or all of these other things that we said before, you're not doing those things and you're not thinking like all relationships go through this. No, the only ones that go through this are the ones that are emotionally lacking intimacy.

**\[00:23:30\]**\
Tina: Yeah. Mostly disconnected. Yeah. So, oh, which is the next thing you said. Emotional disconnection, which is usually when partners feel isolated, neglected, or unloved.

**\[00:23:41\]**\
Jason: Right? Yeah. And people can say, well, if I'm in a relationship, why does my partner feel like that? And so we have to understand it's because we're not nurturing the emotional part of our relationship. Even if we're doing things together, we can still feel emotionally disconnected.

**\[00:24:00\]**\
Tina: So we have to make sure that we're doing things that is strengthening the emotional part so that we can feel emotionally intimate. You have to find out what connection looks like for your partner, because what connection looks like for you may be different than them. So you say we're always together, we're always doing things. But does that equate to connection for them? Because that may not be the way they need to connect, to feel connected.

**\[00:24:27\]**\
Jason: All right, so what's another thing they can tell? The erosion of trust.

**\[00:24:31\]**\
Tina: Okay, all right. So without open communication, trust can weaken over time. So we talked about communication before, right? Open communication. I'll say open and honest communication. Right. Once trust has eroded, it is hard to get it back, but you have to work extremely hard to get it back.

**\[00:24:52\]**\
Jason: So that's one. You don't get trust without open communication. So a lot of times people like, I just don't trust you. Everything that comes out of your mouth.

**\[00:25:01\]**\
Tina: Go ahead. No, no, go ahead. I was just saying everything, you know, people say that. Things that come out of your mouth. I can't. I don't believe you. I don't. I don't trust you. And so when we say an erosion of trust, what does that look like when it shows up? It looks like, let me see your phone. They're going. Your mate is going through your phone. They're checking behind you. They're right. They want to know where you were. Well, you said you were going to be at 6. Now it's 8. Where have you been? They're constantly blowing up your phone or, you know, so we have to...

**\[00:25:30\]**\
Tina: When we say erosion of trust, we have to be able to see what that is like, what does that look like? What does it show up? Right. Arguing over little things. Right? Arguing over who was that person? Why did this person call you? Those are issues of trust, which means that there's something deeper below the level that's going on.

**\[00:25:50\]**\
Jason: All right, let's get to the next one. All right, so the decline, um, of satisfaction, relationship may feel stagnant, unfulfilling, or just overly routine.

**\[00:26:01\]**\
Tina: When you get stuck in a rut, it's hard to get out of it. And it feels like the relationship is not going anywhere. You feel unfulfilled. It's like, I know what I'm gonna do tomorrow because I did the same thing today. And we always do this on certain days of the week. And I know for long relationships, that's usually the issue that we come across is that there's a decline in satisfaction. It's monotonous. Yeah, right. It's routine. It's boring. There's no spontaneity.

**\[00:26:30\]**\
Jason: Ah. There's nothing going on. And that's because, um, we're so busy lifing, as they say. We're trying to keep up with life that we forget to keep up with the relationship. We think that a relationship is about just getting together and finding that person. And then once you find them and get married or whatever it is you decide to do, make a commitment, that. That's it. A relationship requires constant and continual maintenance.

**\[00:26:56\]**\
Tina: And, um, the same thing with your home or your car or anything. And you know what happens when you don't maintain it. That's right. It starts to fall apart. It falls apart. It starts to break down. So when we talk about decline and satisfaction, this is the person that you want to have a relationship with, but you don't know what to do because now you feel as though, hey, I've tried everything. We're not talking. We're not communicating. We're not connecting. So you have to be able to see how this shows up. Right?

**\[00:27:24\]**\
Jason: Yeah. I hope I explained that. Good. You have to be able to see what does decline in satisfaction mean? Well, what we're trying to get over is what it looks like in your relationship.

**\[00:27:35\]**\
Tina: So when you, like I said, or we want you to define what that means in your relationship. Because a lot of times we, we're saying that this is normal. All couples go through this. But not necessarily. There's a reason why there's a decline with physical intimacy. There's a decline on not having communication. So there's a reason behind it. And if you see this in your relationship now, you have the knowledge to say, oh, this may be something bigger than that. This may be something I need to, uh, pay attention to.

**\[00:28:05\]**\
Jason: Right. That's the thing. So we want to be able to see the things in our relationships making our relationships break down so that we can build them back up, so that we can make sure that our foundation has a sturdiness, so that we can make sure that the love that we felt in the beginning lasts throughout.

**\[00:28:25\]**\
Tina: Yeah, right. We're not saying that you're not going to have ups and downs. Love is love, peaks and valleys and, you know, ebbs and flows. But the thing is that when you have a firm foundation and you have that emotional intimacy, you can bounce back instead of it wiping out the entire relationship.

**\[00:28:43\]**\
Jason: Yeah. And have break, you know, in order that you have breakdowns in your relationship is without addressing the lack of intimacy, the relationship may, you know, ultimately deteriorate.

**\[00:28:56\]**\
Tina: Right. That's, that's how it breaks down. That's the one of the final stages. It's just, we don't get along and we don't know how to get along, and it just goes away. And once that's gone, you don't really have much of a relationship. And you hear people say it was like that for the past 10 years. Yes. Right. So for 10 years it don't just happen.

**\[00:29:15\]**\
Jason: Right. So for 10 years you've known, you've seen these signs, you felt this emotion, you felt emotionally disconnected, but yet you either didn't know how to address it or it wasn't addressed properly.

**\[00:29:30\]**\
Tina: All right, so what we... I'll say that they didn't, um, know how to address it. And oftentimes we think that the issues are gonna fix themselves. That's the real thing. By not facing them, by not facing them, by not addressing them, or we just think within time, it just is what it is. And, oh, this is how the relationship is supposed to be. This is how it's gonna be. It got to this point and we're here and it's okay. So we have to make sure that, um, we're intentional in our relationship.

**\[00:30:02\]**\
Jason: So emotional intimacy isn't just a set all and forget. All right? It requires ongoing effort and continuous nurturing. When individuals like you and us actively work to stay emotionally connected, um, they build a stronger sense of trust and partnership.

**\[00:30:20\]**\
Tina: And as I said, I wanted to address these things because these are the things that I would say are common in most relationships. Everyone's going to experience, uh, peaks and valleys, ebb and flow. So on page 241 of our book, we address that by letting people know. Let me get there, guys. 241. And this is the law of polarity. And if you're not sure what these laws are, you can always go look them up.

**\[00:30:48\]**\
Jason: All right, so the part that means you have to have your book and how it pertains to relationships, oftentimes we want to use the laws of the universe and just attracting a mate or getting a job or getting material things. How nice would it be?

**\[00:31:05\]**\
Tina: These are Jason's glasses. But how nice would it be to use the laws of the universe to keep the relationship that you already have?

**\[00:31:12\]**\
Jason: All right, hold on. Before you get into that, let me go ahead and, um, see what we got for comments.

**\[00:31:17\]**\
Tina: Darlene Edwards saying, oh, my gosh, you guys are on point. Thank you.

**\[00:31:22\]**\
Jason: Thank you so much, Darlene. We appreciate you. All right, thank you, Darlene. And again, if you're out there, uh, watching, make sure you drop us a comment so that we can shout you out. And these are Jason's glasses, guys, but I'm reading them anyway. That means you can see, right? I can see anyway.

**\[00:31:39\]**\
Tina: So I was saying on page 241, when we're talking about emotional intimacy, in this one, it talks about the law of polarity and it says, acknowledging and honoring the full spectrum of each other's nature creates space for authenticity and vulnerability. Building emotional intimacy and trust. Leverage your polarities by improving open communication, extending compassion, and showing mutual respect. Develop practical skills to converse honestly about your needs, desires, and your boundaries.

**\[00:32:10\]**\
Jason: Right, so we're addressing the issues and then we are, um, giving you the tools that can help you navigate that space a little better. Because we need you to be able to be aware of what's going on and then get the right tools and techniques on how to address them. So you have to be aware of a situation, um, you have to be aware of a situation in order to fix it. Right. So this, what you have here in this podcast is awareness.

**\[00:32:36\]**\
Tina: All right, we have Jacqueline Cooper saying good evening. Good evening, Jacqueline. How are you? Nice to see you.

**\[00:32:42\]**\
Jason: Yes, thanks for stopping in. Yes. All right, so let's continue on. When we're talking about emotional intimacy and, you know, guys, I can't stress this enough, is that once we get into a relationship and the sex is good and the thrive is good and the kids or the other things come, and then we just kind of linger apart because there's so many other things going on in life that's getting our attention. We have to make sure that we are intentional in our relationship so that when we stay, when we are actively working on emotional connection, it deepens our love and appreciation for each other.

**\[00:33:19\]**\
Tina: It creates that safe space that allows us to grow separately and collectively. Mhm. Right. So it helps us to handle conflicts more effectively with a greater, greater empathy for each other.

**\[00:33:32\]**\
Jason: Which when I started off, I was like. When Jason and I, um, some of the issues we had in our relationship is that neither one of us was willing to see things from the other person's perspective. We just knew we were right and it didn't matter what the other person said.

**\[00:33:48\]**\
Tina: Right. We were just. If I could get you to see my point, you'll see that I'm right and we can move on. And so what it took is for us to be able to step back and say, why does my partner feel the way they feel? Why do they see things like this? What am I missing that I can't see the full picture? Because most of the times we're looking at with a narrow perspective instead of broadening it.

**\[00:34:12\]**\
Jason: Right, right. We have those blinders on each side of us because we're operating out of our past experiences. Our thoughts then become attached to our emotions. And so there we don't have the capacity to empathize with our mate because we want to be right. We want to be heard. And so this allows us to make sure that when we're cultivating emotional intimacy, it gives us the opportunity to at least have empathy.

**\[00:34:39\]**\
Tina: All right, let's pause.

**\[00:34:41\]**\
Jason: Okay. Jackie says, fabulous, thanks for asking. And you all.

**\[00:34:45\]**\
Tina: Oh, we're doing great, Jackie. Wonderful. It's the beginning of the year and life is great. Yes. Happy New Year. If you missed it last week.

**\[00:34:54\]**\
Jason: She also says, true. And Dennis is saying, happy Friday. I'm late.

**\[00:34:58\]**\
Tina: No, you're not. You, you're right on time. Make sure you say hello to your mom for us. Happy Friday, Dennis. Good to see you.

**\[00:35:06\]**\
Jason: All right, all right, let's continue. Mhm. All right, so now let's go ahead and continue. So, um, so before you go on, I wanted to talk about. So we've been reading little passage, little, uh, parts out of our book just to help you to one, um, tonight's episode is to help you want to be aware. Let's see these glasses to help you be aware of emotional intimacy. To know what the red flags are and to know how to combat them. Right. How to see them say, hey, well, maybe that's what's going on in my relationship. Let me take a closer look and let me see what's really going on.

**\[00:35:49\]**\
Tina: So we've read a couple of passages. So let's go to page 261. I think that's where I had this. Yep. Uh, 261. And this is the law of rhythm. And so. Right. We all have a rhythm to us, just like the world has a rhythm. Mhm. And so when we're talking about emotional intimacy, I, uh, don't know which one I was. Oh.

**\[00:36:12\]**\
Jason: So it says focus on maintaining emotional intimacy and connection, even amidst disagreements or challenges. Express appreciation and affection regularly to reinforce your bond and create positive energy.

**\[00:36:25\]**\
Tina: And so you may say that right now in our relationship, we're not doing that. Mhm. You can start right now. Right. All it takes is for one person to say enough is enough. I love the person who I chose to do life with. And so I wanna start making the change. And so all it takes is for you to show an appreciation for the person that you have.

**\[00:36:48\]**\
Jason: Which brings me to the next one. I just wanted to say, I had wrote it down. I want to say thank you because, um, shout out to all the entertainers out there. Right? Entertainers who takes hours and hours of getting ready. So I just wanted to say thank you. I appreciate you setting up the studio for us, getting everything ready.

**\[00:37:06\]**\
Tina: And then all I have to do is come in 10 minutes before. So I did want to say thank you and that's all it takes. Everyone wants to be loved and appreciated.

**\[00:37:16\]**\
Jason: Well, I appreciate that. Right. And there's. If you cannot find something that you're appreciative for your mate, you might want to take a deeper look. Might want to take a deeper look, guys. Sometimes the cloud of disagreements and combat and arguments and all of the negative things that goes on that we forget what we appreciate about our partner.

**\[00:37:39\]**\
Tina: So I know in our book we talk about a gratitude journal helping us to shift our focus and let's look at the good things instead of the bad things. And so when, when, when everything that we see is bad, then we can only attract bad in our relationship. We have to shift our focus. We have to change our mindset. If you want more good things, you have to focus on more good things. Right.

**\[00:38:02\]**\
Jason: I know a lot of people talk about the law of attraction and we talk about that in our book too. But most people equate it to, oh, uh, this is what I'm going to think about this. So this is what I'm going to get. What you don't realize is that the things you think about all the time is what you're attracting. So whether you are intentionally aware of what you're thinking or you think that your thoughts are just random thoughts, nobody can hear them but you. The universe is listening.

**\[00:38:30\]**\
Tina: And so when you focus on negative things and you focusing on the negative things about your partner and your relationship, you are actually creating more of that in your life and experiences in your relationship.

**\[00:38:44\]**\
Jason: So we have to be mindful of that. And so we have to understand how the law of attraction works and what it... How is it attached to our thinking and our feeling. All right, so that. The other comments.

**\[00:38:56\]**\
Tina: That is covered extensively in our masterclass, Emotional Intimacy and throughout our book workbook. And like I said, the masterclass. Because we know and understand just how important it is to be connected, especially emotionally.

**\[00:39:12\]**\
Jason: Exactly. So if, when we say that, it is important because if we're not paying attention to the signs, we will think that this is just a natural progression of relationships. And what it is, is a natural progression when we're, when we are not intentionally driving our relationship.

**\[00:39:30\]**\
Tina: When we start a relationship, usually we have, I want this, I want that, or I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that. And then we stop. We stop being intentional in what we want in the dreams and aspirations for our relationships. We stop dreaming, we stop talking, we stop building, we stop growing. And we're just letting life take its toll. And it will if you don't jump back into the driver's seat.

**\[00:39:56\]**\
Jason: Now, if you see signs or if you notice signs of emotional disconnection in your relationship, don't ignore them. Absolutely. You've done that in the past. Now don't ignore them. The good news is emotional intimacy can be built with intentional effort or rebuilt.

**\[00:40:14\]**\
Tina: It can be rebuilt. Yep. If you have intentional effort through...

**\[00:40:18\]**\
Jason: Wow. Uh, open communication and sometimes professional guidance.

**\[00:40:22\]**\
Tina: Right. Question. Here's a question for you guys to reflect on. What was the last time you and your partner had a conversation that made you feel truly seen, heard, and connected?

**\[00:40:34\]**\
Jason: You mean when? Yes. And when? Didn't I say when? You said what? No. Uh, oh. Okay. So when, when was the last time you and your partner had a conversation that made you feel truly seen, heard, and connected? All right, if it's been a while.

**\[00:40:54\]**\
Tina: Hm? You know what you got to do? You got some work to do.

**\[00:40:57\]**\
Jason: Absolutely. What's one small step that you can take today to start building that kind of emotional intimacy together?

**\[00:41:05\]**\
Tina: And we say one small step. Yes. Because all it takes is one small step. Nothing can be rectified immediately. It's going to take time for you to get it back to where you're at a place where you can both, um, collectively grow the relationship in the direction in which you want it to go. Right.

**\[00:41:27\]**\
Jason: Rebuilding boundaries. Mhm. Rebuilding trust, building intimacy. All those things matter. So we say one small step. We can't solve the problem. It took us a year, 2 years, 5 years, 6 years, 20 years, 30 years to create it, to create this relationship. So it's going to take time to redo or undo what we've done. Okay.

**\[00:41:50\]**\
Tina: Dennis, um, is saying true, indeed. In my past, before legendary relationships, I didn't pay attention to the details of my relationship.

**\[00:41:56\]**\
Jason: Yep, absolutely. And they end up. You end up paying the price because of that. And the thing is, is that we really don't know. When we're growing up, we think relationships are this, um, organic thing. Like, once we get into it, it's just going to always maintain itself. And so the whole point is to spread the awareness that relationships take the same amount of work as a job, as a career, as your car, as your lawn, as your garden, whatever it is that you are.

**\[00:42:27\]**\
Tina: Everything in life requires you to maintain it. Now you maintain yourself, right? Absolutely. Take care of yourself. And then when you want to make more money, you go back to school or learn a different skill, all these different things. You're always looking for personal growth, personal improvement. Why don't you do this for your relationships?

**\[00:42:48\]**\
Jason: And that's a good point, Dennis. Uh, Jason and I were talking about details, right? How some, uh, people just look at the overview and think, this is what I want. That's the type of woman. Oh, she looks and she talks, and they forget all about the details. And it's all in the details.

**\[00:43:05\]**\
Tina: Right. Intention is all in the details. So let's do a recap real quick. Emote. Oh, we got a comment.

**\[00:43:10\]**\
Jason: Okay. Nancy's checking in, saying, hey, family. Hey, Nancy. Thank you for checking in. Happy Friday.

**\[00:43:16\]**\
Tina: Happy Friday. Thanks, guys. All right, so if you are watching on the live or the, um, replay. Yep. I don't know why you can't get that. I do.

**\[00:43:24\]**\
Jason: So if you are watching on the live or the replay, make sure you drop us your name so that we can shout you. Shout you out and say thank you. So here's a recap of tonight's episode. Emotional intimacy is the real glue in any relationship. It's about feeling truly seen, heard, and understood from your partner.

**\[00:43:44\]**\
Tina: Without it, things start to feel a little off, like you're just going through the motions. So pay attention when it feels like you're just going through the motion. But make sure that when you are aware of it, that you realize it's never too late to get it back. Once you have, you know, um, time and time again, when Jason and I help other couples and they find that spark back, it's usually so much stronger and better and grander than the first time because I think.

**\[00:44:10\]**\
Jason: We think you can't get it back. And once you've experienced life at a different level and you get it back, you appreciate all the things that are now happening in your relationship. So start by having real talks, being open, and putting the work in so that you can truly be connected and stay connected.

**\[00:44:30\]**\
Tina: That's the thing. So if you find yourself at a crossroads in your relationship and you need help, feel free. Feel free to contact us. To contact us. We are here to take relationships off cruise control and unnecessary destruction.

**\[00:44:46\]**\
Jason: Yes. Yes. So we are here to help you jump back in the driver's seat and create lasting, loving relationships.

**\[00:44:54\]**\
Tina: It is possible because Jason and I are living proof. We are living proof that life will. Life, it will get you down. It will take you under the water, but you have to be willing to fight to get back up.

**\[00:45:06\]**\
Jason: So if you would like to explore specific ways to develop emotional intimacy or anything that you are experiencing in your relationship that is not positive, you can always call us. We are here to help. You can contact us at legendaryrelationship.com or you can send us. You can DM us at legendary relationship on all platforms, or you can send us an email at [email protected].

**\[00:45:30\]**\
Tina: All right, that's it. All right. So if you need help, we're here. We're just a phone call away with just a website visit away and, uh, social media DM away. So don't hesitate, reach out, have a conversation, see how we can help. You can always look in our website for our coaching opportunities. We do individual couples and groups.

**\[00:45:50\]**\
Jason: All right. Please subscribe, share, and join our social media. So social media m. What is tonight? We like to. It's been a minute. It's been a minute. Community. Yeah, I know, right? We got to get back into the flow of things, guys. We're here to support you on your journey to a stronger, more loving relationship. Absolutely.

**\[00:46:10\]**\
Tina: If you find yourself in a relationship and you see some red flags and you're unhappy and you're unproductive. Welcome. We're going to welcome. Welcome you. And you can come here and we can do some work. We can work together. So don't worry about. No matter where you are, if you, like I said, you're unproductive. You're in the wrong lane. You're unhappy. Your conflict, you can't resolve the conflict, old or new.

**\[00:46:35\]**\
Jason: Yeah, right. So we're here to help you navigate this thing called relationships. Yep. You can reach us on any of, on all platforms at legendary relationship. That's YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok. And on our website, legendaryrelationship.com or email us at [email protected].

**\[00:46:56\]**\
Tina: All right, next time. Mhm. Until next time, sweetie. All right, this is Jason and Tina Marie signing off. So we want you to watch your words, your thoughts, your feelings, your actions, and your reactions in your relationship. Watch them all. They all matter. All of them need to be used to build a stronger relationship, not destroy them.

**\[00:47:20\]**\
Jason: We somehow forget the role we play. So be aware of how you are building your relationship up or, or destroying it or tearing it down.

**\[00:47:30\]**\
Tina: Kelly checking in, saying hello, Jason and Tina. Hey. Hey Kelly. We've missed you. How are you? Happy New Year. Happy New Year. Thank you for tuning in, Dennis saying I love you guys. My whole life has gone through a 360 degree turn. It sure has.

**\[00:47:50\]**\
Jason: Yeah, we love you too. Yes. So remember, Dennis, what are we in it?

**\[00:47:55\]**\
Tina: And as always. No, no, no, go ahead. And then, uh, we got Jackie saying thank you. It was a pleasure. Yes, it's a pleasure. Thank you. We greatly appreciate it. Thank you, Dennis. And it's one step at a time, right? So one step it was. Don't make excuses, make decisions. One step at a time. Thank you, Dennis, for being living proof that you can change your life. You just gotta be intentional and you have to make bold changes, right? You have to step out on faith and that's what you did.

**\[00:48:30\]**\
Tina: All right, are there any more comments out there, guys? Because if not, we're going to get out of this. Out of there. And so that ends another fantastic episode of Love and Beyond the I Do podcast. We are the dynamic duo in marriage, and as always, we're in it to win it.

**\[00:48:50\]**\
Jason: Good Friday guys. Till next week. Guys, thanks for listening to this week's episode of Loving Beyond the I Do podcast.

**\[00:49:00\]**\
Tina: Head over to iTunes to subscribe and leave a review. Follow us on Instagram and Facebook at Legendary Relationships or visit our website at legendaryrelationship.com.

**\[00:49:10\]**\
Jason: Till next time, remember to make every day count.