Good Grief

Jason & Tina Marie (00:01.228)
Helping others heal from grief. Tonight's subject is how to share and move forward after a loss. And our guest has coined it, good grief. So we'll be right back. But today is what? What's today, Jay? I think today is Friday. Why is it? Today is Friday. All right. And you know what that means. It means cue the music.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:06.742)
Hey, hey, hey, welcome to the show. Welcome back, everybody. Thanks for joining in. We are here with another Friday. All right. So welcome to Love and Beyond the I Do podcast. We are your hosts, Jason and Tina Marie. That's me. Yes, yes. And we are here to empower and inspire individuals with actionable strategies, tools, insights for developing meaningful and fulfilling relationships using universal principles, effective communication, and mindset shifts.

That's right, and you may ask, how do we do it? We do it with the manifest method framework. And you say, well, what is that? That is helping you create and develop relationships, lasting, wonderful, joyous relationships that you want, and that's all relationships. So what does manifest stand for? It stands for mindset, awareness, nurture, intention, focus, empower, strengthen, and transform.

But before we get into tonight's episode, we wanna know, have you grabbed your copy of Manifest a Joy Field Relationship? Come on, you gotta get your copy. And if you haven't, make sure you get Manifest a Joy Field Relationship workbook to go along with it. Because one without the other is incomplete, just like you without the book. Incomplete. All right, so you can go to Amazon and get your copy, or you can go to Legendary Relationship and click on our book and you can get it there.

Right. All right. All right. So we have a special guest with us in the studio tonight and tonight is gonna be great Not like last Friday. All right, you guys ready? Are you still talking about last Friday? not at all. So we have a special guest. It is Martina There you go, it's starting now. Okay. All right, Martina Jackson green. Okay. All right. So let's hear a little bit about her

Jason & Tina Marie (04:08.65)
All right, right. Yes, yes, yes, yes. So without further ado, let's welcome Martina. All right, let's get Martina in here. Hey! All right, so just make sure you speak up. How are you this evening?

Martina Jackson Green (04:20.606)
Hey! Hey!

Martina Jackson Green (04:30.097)
I am absolutely fabulous. Look, that intro had me hyped. I was like, what do you have to say?

Jason & Tina Marie (04:36.098)
That's right, right? Gotta get a V. Drop that V.

Martina Jackson Green (04:38.592)
I love it, I love it. This is great. I'm so happy to be here. Thank you all so much for having me.

Jason & Tina Marie (04:43.648)
Yes, thank for saying yes. So Martina and I had the privilege of meeting each other a couple of weeks back at a conference at the Gold Rush Women's Conference. what an enormous, I'm so, one thing I love about that conference is I get to meet such powerful women and you are no exception. And I'm just like, yes, I have to connect with this, not only just a powerful woman, but the Tina part. was like, yes, God knew what he was doing when he was adding Tina to it.

Martina Jackson Green (05:05.548)
Absolutely. That is so intentional. And let me tell you, you encounter certain people and their energy matches your energy. And the moment we met, I was like, this is a vibe. I don't even know what it is, but we're going to go with it. There is definitely a vibe. So I love it. I'm so grateful. And the conference is absolutely powerful. It refuels you as we pour out so much, so much.

Jason & Tina Marie (05:30.093)
Yes.

Martina Jackson Green (05:33.136)
And it's wonderful to be in that circle of sisterhood and just have folks pouring into you. So yeah, I'm so glad we met. It was great.

Jason & Tina Marie (05:39.98)
Yes, yes. So besides that wonderful introduction, is there anything I miss? Yeah, tell us about you, right? Not that professional Wonder Woman. Just give us a little bit more insight about you. What do you like? What do you do? What do you enjoy?

Martina Jackson Green (05:54.644)
You know, it's so interesting. I'm in a season right now where I am really trying to figure that out, right? Like, you know, when the kids are little, it's so about them. I didn't really ever pause to think.

Jason & Tina Marie (06:04.311)
Mm-hmm.

Martina Jackson Green (06:07.722)
what I wanted to do or liked or any of that, you know, in the trenches. And so I became a widow when my kids were six and no, were nine and 12. And so we were very much in the, you know, get up in the morning, go to school, make the lunches, summer camps. Like, and so now we're transitioning out of that. My son's about to go off to college. And so now I'm like, well, who do I want to be? Let me at this.

Jason & Tina Marie (06:09.313)
Right.

Jason & Tina Marie (06:31.726)
Right, right.

Martina Jackson Green (06:34.828)
I do not have a wonderful answer for you right now. I'm working on it though. I am in progress. I'm trying to figure it out. one of the things, yeah, I realized that I have to step out of my comfort zone to figure that out. And so, you know, I've been kind of tucked away making lunches and stuff for a long time. And so I'm just like, you know what? I am open to the possibilities of my life. So I don't know what is coming, but we're gonna see.

Jason & Tina Marie (06:42.968)
That's a great thing.

Jason & Tina Marie (06:58.784)
Yes, yes, yes. you know, even though we're gonna talk, I'm gonna talk about that later in the podcast, that's really what my, I have a workshop that went on this week that was just amazing, just absolutely amazing. And it's for that exact reason. And so I had a post out and so I have another one next week, Monday through Thursday. And it's just for that sole.

because I found myself at that same place, right? I got to a point where my daughter, a whole life was just, you jump into wife mommy mode, right? And everything, and you don't regret it or anything, it's just that it's a natural instinct. It's like, you know, and so you jump into it and you get to a point and you go, who am I? And it's like you know who you are, but you're like really like, who am I? And so,

Martina Jackson Green (07:40.896)
Yes.

Jason & Tina Marie (07:53.132)
You what I often tell, what we often talk about is that as, or as people, I wouldn't just say women, but specifically as women, we get to a point in life where we've, you know, got to this point where either mothers or we're wives, and we really stop growing. We pause the button on us and we don't realize that we've paused it. And so, and really, when we're talking about relationships,

Martina Jackson Green (08:17.153)
Yeah.

Jason & Tina Marie (08:21.23)
That's why sometimes later in relationships when the children are gone people find themselves like okay, what do I do? Where do I go? How do I navigate this space and and sometimes women are so afraid because they're like wow and and I thought I actually found myself there like 20 years right is your last ones 18 and you're like it's been 20 years and

When was the last time you really like, know, so ready to suffer really get anything, you know, working is something different. But we're talking about just the personal development of the person. Right. Or you find yourself where your kids are gone and you're like, OK, now my whole life is my career, but I want more. You know, so so I totally get it. I totally get it. So you.

Martina Jackson Green (08:48.341)
Thank you.

Martina Jackson Green (08:53.771)
Absolutely.

Martina Jackson Green (09:01.824)
Yes. Yeah. It's a journey and we have to embrace the journey. I agree. think that, you know, I've seen some friends who divorced when the kids were small, because those are tough years. It's tough to find time for your relationship when everybody needs a bath and baby's got a cold and now they throwing up. It's hard to be like, babe, don't you feel sexy? Like, no. I don't.

Jason & Tina Marie (09:19.594)
Right.

Jason & Tina Marie (09:27.778)
Yeah.

Martina Jackson Green (09:29.77)
You know, those are really tough years and yeah, it is easy to get lost. And also I know for me, you know, being a mom is kind of where I win. You know what I mean? Sometimes work, they beat you down. But I'm like, I got this. Like, you see? And so then when you're not that all the time, it's like, well, where's my win? Like, where do I feel like?

Jason & Tina Marie (09:31.064)
Bye!

Jason & Tina Marie (09:46.402)
Right, right. Right, right.

Martina Jackson Green (09:57.644)
I've got it, you know? And so, and that's where we just really have to be brave. I think having community is so important because my friends, like, they will drag me out. They will find the weirdest, let's go hiking. We were, they had us sign up for someplace to go hiking on the West Coast. I was like, I don't even like outside, like we're going hiking, what are we But I love that my community,

Jason & Tina Marie (09:59.309)
Right.

Jason & Tina Marie (10:05.609)
Absolutely.

Jason & Tina Marie (10:14.146)
You

Jason & Tina Marie (10:20.174)
Right.

Martina Jackson Green (10:25.42)
encourages me to try new things too, you know, because I think sometimes the circle you're in can also hold you back. People see you a certain way. They have a certain set of expectations. And it's important that we have a diverse network that allows us to grow and try new things.

Jason & Tina Marie (10:34.114)
Yeah.

Jason & Tina Marie (10:43.374)
And that's really important and not all the time people have that, Because sometimes you get into that, like you said, mommy mode, wife mode, family mode. And so you kind of find yourself, that's your only circle. And so there is no community, right? And so I know when my daughter was a senior, as I said, right? It was like a aha moment. And I was like, you know what? For the past 10 years, I have said, we're gonna get together. let's do this. And I had...

Martina Jackson Green (10:59.372)
the

Jason & Tina Marie (11:12.408)
I had not reached out and went with anybody, right? And so was like, you know what? When I say I'm gonna do something, I'm gonna do it. If I tell somebody we're gonna get together, we're gonna get together. If I say I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do this. And so it's just, know, when you don't know, you don't know, right? Yeah. Well, you're doing the best, you know, but I'm like Martina, hey, I killed the daddy gang. You know what I'm saying? I was all in.

Martina Jackson Green (11:13.504)
Yeah.

Martina Jackson Green (11:23.904)
Thanks

Martina Jackson Green (11:27.446)
You're You're done.

Martina Jackson Green (11:34.251)
Yeah.

Jason & Tina Marie (11:34.912)
I just want to say, know, as your kids get older, if they say something that you go, wait a minute, I gave it all I got. Don't take it personal.

Martina Jackson Green (11:42.988)
You know what, and sometimes, so my children now, they're 18 and 15, and now it's like, you know, any missteps or whatever, I'm like, you know what, you're gonna have to take that up with your therapist on your dime, okay? Hey, I'm doing the best I can.

Jason & Tina Marie (11:58.541)
Right.

Martina Jackson Green (11:59.371)
And I even, know, children don't understand that their parents are on their own journey and we're healing and learning and trying to evolve. You know, we're not deities, but when they eat wrong, they'll realize, it's real hard to pay all those bills, huh? Yeah, yeah is babe. you know.

Jason & Tina Marie (12:07.554)
Yeah. Right.

Jason & Tina Marie (12:14.993)
Yeah, and still keep it sane and take care of you and make sure you get it all together I gotta work do homework. Yes, take you to recital do all this different stuff then get up and do the whole thing over Yeah, so let so you set you a widower. Hold up before we get now. I want to say hi to people Alright, so let's say hello to our fans. Alright, we got Regina. Hey Regina. How are you? Thank you for joining us. Yes, Regina and then we have

Martina Jackson Green (12:19.752)
Exactly. Yeah. Yeah.

Absolutely. Yes.

Jason & Tina Marie (12:41.614)
Nancy, hey, you made it in, Nancy. Thank you so much. And your comment. Nancy always, always miss. Say hi, you guys always miss my comments. So we got you today. All right. then I have, Whenever I'm looking at you doing it, I definitely feel like Jan. Like I'm all in your space You have my Kool-Aid over here. That's why I don't like to let people So go watch Women's Conference that we just talked about, lifting them up. Can we do it again? I kind of missed it.

Martina Jackson Green (12:52.63)
Yeah.

Jason & Tina Marie (13:11.488)
All right, good evening my golden sister and brother. All right, good evening. right, thank you so much, Reverend Jackie. Or is that Jackie? Because last time it said Jackie. That's Auntie Jackie. Auntie Jackie. All right, okay, now we get, the name this week. hey Janice, good evening Jason and Tina, and hello Martina and everyone. Welcome, welcome Jan. Yes.

Martina Jackson Green (13:21.836)
That's it.

Martina Jackson Green (13:29.874)
you

Jason & Tina Marie (13:35.854)
I'm like you, Jen, I'm all over there reading the comments before they come up on the yeah, yeah, let me take care that. All right. Oh, Versy! Versy! Hey, Versy! Hello, Jason, Tina, Martina! Hey! Yes, yes! All right, guys, do not forget, if you are watching, we cannot see who's watching, so make sure you drop your name. Or just say hello. Just say hello. say hello and support, really. That's all we're asking. We're just bringing good information. Just...

Martina Jackson Green (13:43.046)
No, don't fly, don't fly!

Jason & Tina Marie (14:02.382)
Just helping people heal in certain seasons and things of that nature, may not affect you directly, but just say, give some support as we go along. All right, and drop some hearts for Martina. So guys, don't forget that we are a station. So sometimes people get it confusing when we talk about relationships, right? I think, yeah, you gonna wanna do that? know, Molly, I'm stealing the Kool-Aid! I can't let you behind the scenes. This is my territory over I see the comment pop up and my eyes are like over there. So if you guys see my eyes are...

Keep your head straight, Tina, keep looking, all right. So we're here to just all relationships, right? The relationships with our children. And I just want to tell you, hold on till you see, because when they get grown, you know, it's like a whole new thing. And you just be like, you know, you have to keep telling yourself, I just love them so much. I just love them so much. Right, right? And so, yes, yes, yes.

Martina Jackson Green (14:57.132)
Speak like, speak like, that's what I tell myself.

Jason & Tina Marie (15:01.526)
And so, you know, just remind me, I'm gonna get to it, your daughter the other day, we had an opportunity to talk and your daughter walked in and you was like, she looks spicy. And just reminded me of my daughter, just spicy, just, know, but God is. So, but when we're talking about relationships, so as I had asked you, I said, you said that you a widower. And so share that with us so that we can understand, right, when we're navigating relationships, so that impacts someone tremendously, right? And so,

That has an effect on your home relationships, your work relationships, your family dynamics with your, you know, everyone, you know, your husband's family, you know. So just share some insight as much as you want with us navigating this space as far as good grief.

Martina Jackson Green (15:45.868)
So yeah, becoming a widow. So my husband at 44 years old was diagnosed with a rare cancer and passed 10 weeks, 10 weeks from the time he was like, I don't feel good. I'm going to the ER till his transition. So it was very fast. It just felt like everything was spinning, you know, like.

Jason & Tina Marie (15:57.712)
wow.

Martina Jackson Green (16:05.854)
it, my world changed so quickly. I think that as most moms do, we focus on the kids. I wanted to make sure my kids, you know, were in therapy and, could manage their grief. And so my grief, I didn't really start processing for probably six months a year. I was just kind of numbing myself and, and funk, you like going through the motions, trying to keep our lives going and things like that. And you know,

losing a spouse, so I've lost a parent, I've lost a sibling, losing a spouse is different in that I talk to my daddy like every week, couple times a week, but he wasn't my every day, right? Your spouse is your every day. You're waking up, you're going to sleep, and that's the person who's supposed to make it to the finish line with you. know what I mean? We expect.

Jason & Tina Marie (16:51.372)
Right.

Jason & Tina Marie (16:58.306)
Right, absolutely, absolutely.

Martina Jackson Green (17:00.704)
to that our parents will transition before us. But your partner is supposed to be the one that gets you through those transitions. And so it does, changes everything financially. It changes your visions for the future. The thing that I didn't anticipate was the impact on how I saw myself. Like my...

say self-esteem, but my self-image because, you know, I was a part of a pair and that's I saw myself and I was very comfortable in that and I embraced that and I loved being his wife. Loved it, right? And so now...

Jason & Tina Marie (17:29.26)
Right.

Right.

Martina Jackson Green (17:41.26)
having to see myself and establish myself as this different kind of being was really, it was challenging. It truly was. And then my husband passed right before the pandemic hit. And so then it's like, you can't even be surrounded. know, I love my church family. They were amazing. My church family was great. I'm a member of Jack and Jill of America and my Jack and Jill sisters showed up. They brought food. They were on it, you know? But then COVID came and so there was nobody who could support me. So it was, it was me.

Jason & Tina Marie (17:55.395)
Right.

Jason & Tina Marie (18:11.191)
yeah.

Martina Jackson Green (18:11.224)
and Jesus in my bedroom like, it's getting dicey. It got a little dicey. I was a professor. And so I worked from home and I started drinking a lot of wine. Yeah. And it was not healthy. I don't recommend it, but I give myself grace. And I tell people all the time, it wasn't heroin. OK, it could have been worse. They're a worse thing.

Jason & Tina Marie (18:35.308)
Right, right, right, right. Yep. And you're here.

Martina Jackson Green (18:40.724)
Yeah, mean, you know, we all kind of navigate those times, you know, in our own way. And it was tough, but I did. believe in therapy and Jesus, right? So I recommend all of the above. And I'm happy now, six years later, to be on the other side, to have...

my joy, you know, to, to really wake up and feel like I have something to look forward to. And it wasn't a quick process. Um, I'm still evolving and learning, but I think it's important to stay in the race, you know, don't give up. There are days where it really, really sucks. It really, really hurts. There are songs that play in the grocery store and I just start crying for no reason. But I know that even though this hurts today, tomorrow's a new day. And

You know, it's a new chance for God to do something amazing in my life. So that's really what I want people to know, whatever it is, if it's loss, if loss of a job, you know, we grieve all kinds of things and all have those days where it's so dark that you just can't imagine that the sun will come out again, but it always does. So you just got to keep getting up and one day the sun will come out.

Jason & Tina Marie (19:38.574)
Mm-hmm.

Jason & Tina Marie (19:42.444)
Right.

Jason & Tina Marie (19:48.237)
Right.

Jason & Tina Marie (19:53.792)
Wonderful. Now, my question is, were you in Jesus' tight before this happened, or did you have to really get acclimated back into religion and everything when this happened? Okay.

Martina Jackson Green (20:00.959)
yeah.

Martina Jackson Green (20:07.338)
No, I'm a church girl. was in that thing. I've been in church my whole life. Now I will tell you, I got to know God in a whole new way. So just to give you some context, so my dad passed November 17 and then my husband in May 19 and then my brother August of 20. So it was like bang, bang, bang. was compound grief, right? And so when my dad passed, he had been ill.

Jason & Tina Marie (20:30.199)
Jason & Tina Marie (20:33.622)
Right, right.

Martina Jackson Green (20:37.302)
And so was kind of like, okay, you know, I, miss my daddy, but I didn't want him to hurt anymore. When I lost my husband, I was like, Ooh Lord, you kind of trying me now. And then when my brother passed, that's when my faith was real. I was like, you know what? You can take this Bible because it's too much.

Jason & Tina Marie (20:40.002)
right.

Jason & Tina Marie (20:47.074)
Right.

Jason & Tina Marie (20:55.436)
Right, right, right, right.

Martina Jackson Green (20:57.906)
But that's the value of having community because even in that season where I was like, I'm not going to be serving at church. was the virtual worship leader at our church during COVID. So every Sunday my face was the face you saw on screen. And I told my pastor, I'm out. Like, I'm not going to be able to do this. I have nothing positive to say. So you need to find somebody else. And he was like, I will not find anybody else. And so he gave me some time, but he would check on me. First lady would check on me. You know, the ministers, the deacons, Tina, we just checking on you, you know?

Jason & Tina Marie (21:15.724)
Right, right.

Jason & Tina Marie (21:19.842)
Mmm.

Jason & Tina Marie (21:27.382)
Right.

Martina Jackson Green (21:27.79)
They wouldn't let me go. And I'm so grateful that I had that community that would not let me go. You know, my friends, no, you Zoom with us. We want to see you on camera. We want to know you're okay, you know? I'm so grateful. But that's the thing. It's important to be anchored to a community that can hold on to you, that can reach you in those dark places where you want to be left alone or you want to give up and your people won't let you go.

Jason & Tina Marie (21:38.614)
Right. Right, right, right.

Jason & Tina Marie (21:55.118)
Amen. All right. And I'm glad that you share that part because people think, as Jason said, was was Jesus or God a part of your life? Even at that point, you're like, you know what? Like, what's going on? This may not be working for me right now. You're like, I'm not getting it. And so I'm glad you mentioned that, because we often look at it like, hey, we're doing the right thing.

I'm not out here doing this, I'm not doing that. And so we start playing the judgment card, right? Why me? Why does it keep happening? so, even though community was there, just go into that space for those who may be viewing and maybe, as you said, dealing with different types of grief, but also at the same time, because like you said, it could be a person, like you said, it could be they lose their job.

then they lose this. And so it's lost after another and you still question what's going on. So just take us through that.

Martina Jackson Green (22:56.66)
Yeah, I did. I had a faith crisis, you know, and I just, I felt like God was giving me more than I could bear, you know? The word says boom, but I was like, I'm pretty sure this is more than I can bear. And I didn't have the words to pray. I didn't even know what to say. I was just exhausted and...

Jason & Tina Marie (23:13.068)
Right, right.

Martina Jackson Green (23:22.898)
emotionally defeated. One of the things that I would do though, I have all these books, just a lot of positive books by different creatures and ministers and different folk. And I would read like every day, some devotional or something, not every day, because there was some days I was all the way out. But the days that I could wrap my mind around it, I would pick up some devotional and just try to allow,

Jason & Tina Marie (23:26.029)
Right.

Jason & Tina Marie (23:43.214)
Okay. Right.

Martina Jackson Green (23:52.631)
hope to penetrate me, you know, just, and like I said, it took a long time. And sometimes it was like that. Do you understand me? It was like that. Some of those zoom meetings that was not coffee in my mug. Okay.

Jason & Tina Marie (23:54.828)
Right, right, right. With the wine glass in your hand. Yeah.

Jason & Tina Marie (24:09.454)
Now the truth comes out, right? You were trying to get through life. Right.

Martina Jackson Green (24:12.938)
Hey, hey, you know, that's, that's it. That's it. Just trying to hang on. And so for me, that, that really helped just allowing something positive. If it was playing gospel music, whatever on the days that I could wrap my mind around it, I knew that I needed something positive. even when I didn't feel it, even when I didn't believe it, I had to keep trying. And that

To me, was, that was, that, that, that was the God inside of me that kept trying when my physical self was like, I'm done with this. I'm done. There's nothing left. something inside of me was like, keep trying, give it one more shot. Give it one more, give it one more day, you know? And, so that's, that's kind of how I kept going. That just,

Jason & Tina Marie (24:47.128)
Okay.

Jason & Tina Marie (24:59.619)
Yeah.

Martina Jackson Green (25:04.178)
If any day that I could, okay, let me pick up. What'd you say? Yama? All right. Page 42. What we got here? But the truth of it is the trick of the enemy is to make you think you're the only one. You're the only one feeling like this. You're the only one going through this. You're the only one who's ever experienced grief like this. And that is not true. And

Jason & Tina Marie (25:22.158)
Absolutely. Yep.

Martina Jackson Green (25:29.772)
In that season, I didn't know any young widows. None of my friends, know, my grandfathers lived to their eighties. Like I didn't know anybody who was a young widow. So in that season, Facebook, I found some young widows on Facebook and it really helped me just to know it wasn't me. Like life wasn't picking on me because that's what we get trapped in. Like it's all happening to me. That's what you a dark place.

Jason & Tina Marie (25:49.742)
Yeah. Right. Right.

Right. Exactly. Exactly.

Martina Jackson Green (25:57.47)
It's very isolating when you think it's only you. But once you reach out a little bit and you find out, my gosh, you went through this, you went through that. You know, it just lets you know, you're not alone. You're not alone. And, and, and that's what I think now it's such a slippery thing where people are, they're not connecting. You know what I mean? They're not connected to folk. And so you get in your head and you think it's just you, but it's never just you ever.

Jason & Tina Marie (26:17.357)
Yeah.

Jason & Tina Marie (26:23.918)
I'm glad that that was so helpful. let's look at let's as Tina's looking at these messages. You gotta stay off my side. Yeah, does it show both of them at the time? I think so baby. Okay. All right. Let me take care of this. All right. I got I got my thing. Okay. Nope. You ain't get it. Okay. All right. I wanted to go before that. That's okay. Yeah. So yeah. Yeah. So let's see that one first. Okay. And so which brings it so.

Martina Jackson Green (26:42.7)
You

Jason & Tina Marie (26:49.358)
And so this is the comment she says this is so smart to use therapy and Jesus and that's exactly where I was going with my next question And so let's see what she says Using regularly spiritual practice reading journal, etc as part of building your foundation for your future So smart and very necessary. Absolutely. Absolutely. And so I was that's kind of like exactly where I was gonna go with

Martina Jackson Green (26:53.471)
amendment.

Martina Jackson Green (27:03.852)
Yeah.

Jason & Tina Marie (27:12.942)
because you said therapy, right? And so was it just like therapy at church? Was it therapy where you just turned someone on? Or was it a professional therapist that was helping you and your family during this grieving process?

Martina Jackson Green (27:28.396)
Yes, so we went to professional therapy and this is another tip. I've heard so many people say, I tried therapy, it didn't work for me. Try something different. You know what I mean? There are all kinds of therapy. There are a variety of therapists. And so I put my kids in therapy. We tried one-on-one therapy. It worked for my son. He went right in there, laid on that lady's couch like, let me tell you how I feel. But my daughter...

Jason & Tina Marie (27:39.586)
Yeah.

Jason & Tina Marie (27:52.302)
Okay. Wonderful.

Martina Jackson Green (27:55.328)
Yeah, my daughter shut down. She didn't want to talk. She didn't want to say anything. So we had to try something else. So we tried a couple different therapists and then I found a group therapy for children and she went in there and she was, you know, they said, draw a picture to your loved one. What would you want to write? Write a letter. And she came out of there so mommy and Katie said her grandma passed and she drew a horse and so was, and I was like, thank you God. You know,

Jason & Tina Marie (28:21.762)
Right. Right.

Martina Jackson Green (28:22.358)
because I knew she was holding so much inside and she didn't have an outlet, you know? And so it's important. Don't give up. know, if one outlet doesn't work, one therapist doesn't work, that doesn't mean therapy doesn't work. Maybe it was that therapist or that technique. So we definitely did professional therapy, but we stayed close to our church family. And I am so grateful for all of the folks, the Sunday school teachers who would-

Jason & Tina Marie (28:39.084)
Right.

Martina Jackson Green (28:50.556)
just speaking to pour into my babies because you know, children, you can say it 100 times and they go, want, want, want, want, want, but let somebody else say it, right? Let, let Dana say it. Let me Shemeika say it. And then your kids are like, Hey mommy, Ms. Dana told me what. And I'm like, yeah, I said that too, but okay. So it's, it's so both, that's what both techniques and you know, I know a lot of people are doing online church now and I, at our church, we have folk who do online church.

Jason & Tina Marie (28:58.444)
Yeah.

Jason & Tina Marie (29:07.566)
Right. Right.

Martina Jackson Green (29:20.576)
but the connection being in proximity with people, with folks being able to hug you. I tell anybody Sunday morning is the only time 20 people hug me and tell me they love me. No, no other time in my week, I feel that kind of love, know, Sunday morning, you know, and, you don't get that online. You can't. And so it's important if wherever you are, if you can get physically present with people who will pour love and hope and support into you.

Jason & Tina Marie (29:23.363)
Yes.

Absolutely. Absolutely.

Jason & Tina Marie (29:33.203)
Mm-hmm. Right. Right.

Martina Jackson Green (29:50.986)
Take it, take it. mean, we, online tools are great. We're doing this online, but it's important.

Jason & Tina Marie (29:53.806)
Right, right, right. But I even know, even with us doing this, if we were in proximity, it would be a whole new different dynamics. Like you said, when we came together, it's just something about the power of the spirit of the energy when you're in that area. it's not, people think, well, I don't need to be in a church. It's just a building. It's not just the building. It's the energy. It's people.

Martina Jackson Green (30:17.898)
Yes.

Jason & Tina Marie (30:19.85)
of like minds, like souls, like energy. It's the hugs. It's the how you're doing. It's have a blessed week. It's all of those wonderful things that you need to be reminded of. because when COVID hit, that's the one thing I missed was on Sunday being able to speak. And my worries were for the older generation, right? The people that you didn't get a chance to hug. You didn't know you were hugging them for the last time, right? So all of the elderly people and, you know, them not being able to see you or

Martina Jackson Green (30:32.588)
you

Martina Jackson Green (30:37.921)
Yes.

Jason & Tina Marie (30:49.41)
Them being alone because there's there were so many people that was alone during that time. But what you saying? I have a question about therapy I don't know. How did you feel about therapy prior to getting into it? Did you have was it negative? Outlook on it. You like I'm embarrassed because I don't want you people to think something's wrong with me because I have to go to therapy

Martina Jackson Green (30:50.539)
Yes.

Martina Jackson Green (30:54.305)
Yeah.

Martina Jackson Green (31:07.828)
You know, I didn't have that hurdle and I have to thank my mom. think I first went to therapy when I was eight or nine years old and I don't even know what was happening in our lives in that season that she was like, I'm taking this child to therapy. What?

Jason & Tina Marie (31:14.572)
Okay.

Jason & Tina Marie (31:20.837)
I mean straight around right now. So now the story, now the connection comes, you the little spicy too, mom's like, oh, I need to take.

Martina Jackson Green (31:26.604)
Maybe. So various times in my life, I have been to therapy and I, you know, I call it a heat check. I'll call my therapist right now and be like, okay, girls, so this is what I'm thinking. Am I on point or am I tripping? She'll be like, no, no, you're on point. So I think it's great to have.

Jason & Tina Marie (31:41.496)
Hahaha!

Martina Jackson Green (31:48.488)
an ongoing relationship with your, not that I don't do weekly therapy anymore. But I have somebody that, you know, if I feel a little weird or this situation just seems a little off to me because I like confirmation.

Jason & Tina Marie (31:53.422)
Mm-hmm.

Jason & Tina Marie (32:03.437)
Right. OK.

Martina Jackson Green (32:05.42)
And so I'll hit her up and just be like, help, what is your perspective on this? So I did not have any preconceived notions or any negativity attached to therapy. So that wasn't a hurdle for me. I know it is for a lot of people, but that's why it's important for me to say that. It's important for me to say, I do therapy and Jesus. It's important for me to say, y'all, I had some dark days and I drank a lot because those are the things we don't say out loud. And even in that season, I would show up to church.

Jason & Tina Marie (32:15.843)
Mm-hmm.

Jason & Tina Marie (32:31.054)
Absolutely.

Martina Jackson Green (32:35.614)
Hey, praise the Lord. You know, nobody knew what I was going through because we're very good about concealing those things, but it's important that we share it so that other people don't feel like they need to hide or tuck it away or not go to therapy because of the stigma. No, do it. it. Run, run to therapy right now. Go.

Jason & Tina Marie (32:41.944)
Right.

Jason & Tina Marie (32:53.698)
And I think the other thing is you talk about about sharing is that it also helps you heal. So you're not keeping it where you're having it tucked. So you're double hurting. So you're having to conceal the hurt and then hide the hurt. So you're hiding it from everyone else and then you have to hide it, the fact that you're still hurting. And so I'm glad that again, that what you're saying is just to the...

Martina Jackson Green (32:58.518)
Get us.

Martina Jackson Green (33:08.011)
Yes.

Martina Jackson Green (33:13.686)
Yeah, yeah.

Jason & Tina Marie (33:20.622)
the awareness that, you you and I talked about that, right? Your stories are not your stories. it's not just the fact that your story can help someone else, but then as you said, you reach out and you realize, wow, I'm not alone in this race, right? I have other people that can encourage and lift me up when I feel like, hey, God, you picking on me. You know, so I'm just thank you for the sharing tonight.

Martina Jackson Green (33:25.834)
That's right.

Martina Jackson Green (33:43.148)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jason & Tina Marie (33:48.686)
I want to go back to the whole wine thing. Out of everything that was said, he wants to go back to the wine thing. Jesus and wine. Jesus and wine. She took communion to the next level. Okay. right. now, no, I mean, because this is good, especially for healing for a lot of people, because a lot of people, the first place they go is have a couple of drinks, right? Just to knock the edge off.

Martina Jackson Green (33:51.38)
Martina Jackson Green (34:16.171)
Yep.

Jason & Tina Marie (34:16.47)
And then you're doing it almost every day, two or three times a day, right? So when you got to a point and you said, you know what, this is no longer serving me. What was that? What was that moment that you said, you know what, I think I'm okay enough that I don't need this crutch anymore.

Martina Jackson Green (34:32.12)
you know, I honestly, it started, I thank God, it didn't, it didn't work the same, right? I got to a point where I would have a glass of wine and it was kind of like, don't, that, it didn't even taste good, right? It didn't even, or it was too much acid, it would upset my stomach. And so I think it was divine, you know, I think it was.

Jason & Tina Marie (34:43.415)
Okay. Yeah.

Jason & Tina Marie (34:53.664)
Yeah.

Jason & Tina Marie (35:00.494)
Absolutely.

Martina Jackson Green (35:02.827)
But we also have to listen because I do believe that God is always speaking to us in various ways. We don't always listen, right? So if you drink that wine and you get a headache, maybe you need to back up off of that. And that's really how it started happening for me. Like my stomach would hurt and I was like, you know, go to the doctor and she's like, well, what are you doing? And I'm like, ah, I'm doing fine.

Jason & Tina Marie (35:05.025)
Right.

Jason & Tina Marie (35:12.204)
Right.

Jason & Tina Marie (35:22.19)
I

Martina Jackson Green (35:25.612)
But that's what it was. And it was like, my body was like, we're not doing this anymore, right? We did that for a season. We're not doing this anymore. And so that's really what backed me up off of it. And my mother and my mother-in-law calling, crying, worrying, like they were like, you all right? They would come and it and stare at me. I was like,

Jason & Tina Marie (35:33.239)
Right.

Jason & Tina Marie (35:41.806)
Right.

Listen, we think we can mask it. We think we can hide it. But boy, I'm gonna tell you a different person when you're drinking or or you think that even with grief, right you think that No one can tell but you really are showing up differently and and and you can tell and so as much as people try to say I'm okay You know, and so it's that as you said, it's that still holding you not only holding you to help you but holding you accountable

Martina Jackson Green (35:54.375)
yeah, yeah.

Martina Jackson Green (36:10.528)
Yeah, yeah.

Martina Jackson Green (36:18.472)
want to say, you know, in that season. I mostly I drank at home, you know, and but there were a couple of incidences where I was out with people who I thought cared about me.

Jason & Tina Marie (36:25.39)
Mm-hmm.

Jason & Tina Marie (36:35.7)
Absolutely. I love that. I love that. I love those words. you think you're in a safe space and you're not. Yes.

Martina Jackson Green (36:42.922)
Yeah. And so there were a couple of times where I drank a lot and the people who were closest to me, who I thought would care for me, did not. And those were two real significant wake up calls where I got home and after I got myself together, I was like, you are the monkey in the show, baby girl. You, you are the monkey in the show. So are you going to continue to do that? Right?

Jason & Tina Marie (37:11.628)
Right. Right.

Martina Jackson Green (37:12.62)
And when I got that revelation that drunk Martina is entertaining, right? I was like, no, OK, we're not doing that. We're not doing that. I'm not here for your entertainment. I, you know, thank you, Holy Spirit. You know, sometimes you don't see it when you're in the moment.

Jason & Tina Marie (37:19.469)
Right.

Jason & Tina Marie (37:35.47)
I was getting ready to say that. I was just getting ready to say that, yeah.

Martina Jackson Green (37:37.804)
You don't see it in there. You're the good time person in there. Pour it up. Drink this, drink that. And I look back on those times and I'm like, you know, I literally, there was a party where one of my friends, I gathered myself up. It took everything in me to get dressed, to come to this party with all of these couples that my husband and I used to hang out with. But I was like, okay, I'm going to do it. They were like, you got to come, you got to come. So I pulled it together. I got there.

and everybody's drinking, I start drinking. And one of the guys at the party triggered me and it felt so intentional looking back on it. Like we're all here having a great time talking about whatever we were talking about. And he starts asking me questions about my late husband. And so I started drinking more, right? And it, you know, I mean, I thank God I didn't, you know, I didn't do anything real wild, but

Jason & Tina Marie (38:19.864)
Right.

Jason & Tina Marie (38:28.962)
Yeah.

Jason & Tina Marie (38:35.96)
Right.

Martina Jackson Green (38:36.948)
I was out of character for me, you know? And afterwards, and it took a couple weeks for me to process that, and I'm like, this, you are the, you're the monkey in the show. You know what I mean? It's like, we can get her and I can push this button and watch her go, you know? I had to say enough of that. That is not who I am. That's not who I was created to be. And so we're not gonna do this anymore.

Jason & Tina Marie (38:38.829)
Right. Right. Right.

Jason & Tina Marie (38:52.811)
Right, right.

Jason & Tina Marie (39:01.644)
And so that brings me to Jason and I often talk about, right, you talked about your circle, right? And so even that was a circle, right? And so how important is it for people to realize that people come into your life, right, for a reason and for a season and then for a lifetime? So speak to that right there, right? How we change, how...

Martina Jackson Green (39:12.833)
Yes.

Martina Jackson Green (39:24.363)
Yes.

Martina Jackson Green (39:28.269)
Tina, boy, there we go.

Jason & Tina Marie (39:31.358)
Right? Right? How sometimes that is not the best thing for you because that's where you've always been and because you feel comfortable. Right? So in the beginning, you said, I had to get out of my comfort zone. Right? Sometimes the comfort zone is the people that we hang around, the people that we think are our friends. But really, you're the monkey in the show. Right? So talk about that.

Martina Jackson Green (39:55.98)
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So when I lost my husband, my circles changed instantly. Like, and even if the people were around, the energy was different. And it was even at the point where I started asking folks, did y'all only like him? Because it feels like, no, no, no, that was sober. OK? No. I needed to know.

Jason & Tina Marie (40:15.391)
I hope you were drunk then.

Martina Jackson Green (40:23.436)
So the circle changed instantly. Well, because the single girl is no longer welcome in the married people's club. Okay. And it's just the truth. And I'm not even mad at it. I'm not even mad. That's just the way it is. Okay. So you're no longer welcome in the circle. And so that was, that was hard. That was hard to process because I felt like I was the same person. Like I'm, I was, I'm the same.

Jason & Tina Marie (40:27.095)
Wow.

Jason & Tina Marie (40:33.752)
Yeah. Right. Exactly.

Right.

Martina Jackson Green (40:52.236)
I'm the same homie I was last month. You know, now I just don't have a husband, but you can't come to the party anymore. Okay. So that was, that was one piece of it. But what I've come to understand is people can't give you what they can't give themselves. Right. And so I was looking for people to support me in ways that they weren't even protecting, supporting, caring for themselves. So, you know, you can't protect me.

Jason & Tina Marie (40:54.328)
Right.

Jason & Tina Marie (41:00.716)
Wow.

Jason & Tina Marie (41:07.774)
Absolutely.

Martina Jackson Green (41:19.66)
from your husband saying something crazy when you don't protect yourself. And so the circle has to change, but I don't hold anything. And I think that's the thing. Sometimes when, you know, if you break up with somebody or a friendship changes, somebody has to be villainized or vilified for that. No, it doesn't have to be that. It's just that in this season, you know, wherever we are, it's not meshing in this season and that's okay. And so I truly,

Jason & Tina Marie (41:35.222)
Right, right, no.

Jason & Tina Marie (41:45.101)
Right.

Martina Jackson Green (41:48.49)
had to learn to let people go, but without any negativity, I don't wish anybody any harm. You know, I've really come to the space where I understand sometimes circumstances are what they are. And you never really know why people treat you the way they treat you. have an idea, but you could be triggering something from their childhood. You don't know what's happening in their household. There's all kinds of things. And so I also had to release my need to understand. I don't have to understand why the relationship doesn't work.

Jason & Tina Marie (42:05.58)
Right.

Jason & Tina Marie (42:11.125)
Exactly.

Martina Jackson Green (42:18.188)
I don't have to understand why you're not showing up the way I think you should. I don't have to understand any of it. What I know is this no longer serves me. So I'm going to release you and bless you. That's it. That's all we don't, we don't have to fight about it. We don't need a four page Alia letter. It doesn't take any of that. Okay. This no longer serves me. And I think that everybody would do well to understand when situations don't serve them and to be able to walk away with grace. doesn't, you don't have to.

fire finger text somebody something mean, it doesn't mean any of that. So I thank God for that, for that clarity that I didn't have to stomp, I don't have to take my ball and stomp off. It doesn't have to mean anything. Once it became clear to me that these situations didn't serve me, I simply released it. And that was such a big part of my healing.

Jason & Tina Marie (42:48.6)
Right, right.

Jason & Tina Marie (42:58.828)
Right, right, exactly, exactly.

Jason & Tina Marie (43:09.514)
That's just amazing. not only, I mean, yeah, I'm close. My voice carried. I'm a man. Okay. Okay. so not only did you go through that initial loss and then, you know, you had your father, your husband, and then your brother, but then you now you start to lose all of these relationships that you once had. So it was just a compounding effect. It wasn't just this one isolated event. It was just this event that led to other events that need to happen.

so that you can then heal. Because like you said, you were no longer really welcomed in the group anymore. Well, I think what you talked about was that you were feeling like I'm still the same person, right? And so I need you to show up and support me as that same person. But it comes to the realization of that life didn't change for them. Life changed for you.

And as you say it, you were trying to understand why can't they understand what's going on, how I need them to show up. you got something to chat. But so it just comes to that point where you're like, why can't they see or why aren't they doing? And so, like you said, that higher awareness of realizing that

Martina Jackson Green (44:26.144)
Yes.

Jason & Tina Marie (44:34.56)
As people say, life is still life in the way they've always known it. yeah.

Martina Jackson Green (44:38.472)
Absolutely. And you know what? What it did for me, what the awareness did for me, I didn't focus on the people I lost. I started doubling down on the folks who were still rocking with me. And so like my college homies, like we're texting all the time because you know, the energy that I was putting into some other relationships, let me just pour into the people who been here, you know?

Jason & Tina Marie (45:03.586)
Right. Just pouring into you. Who's showing up right? Who's showing up right?

Martina Jackson Green (45:08.172)
Absolutely. Absolutely. So I did that. You know what I also became aware of though? so I have some friends who, who were divorced and only when I became a widow did I consider like, who buys you the birthday presents when you're divorced? Right? Like, you know, my husband always got me the good presents. If anybody else did anything, I was bummed. He came through, right? So when, when I got on this side, I was like, who does that?

Jason & Tina Marie (45:31.405)
Right.

Martina Jackson Green (45:37.964)
When I tell you during COVID, was just sending my friends lunch like, here girl, door to actually lunch, know, or I just found ways to love on my people because I just had this understanding now of it's not just the widows, right? It's the divorces, it's the single people. Like we can love on each other better. Even some of our married friends still want their friends, their homies to love on them. That experience made me go deeper.

Jason & Tina Marie (45:44.193)
You

Jason & Tina Marie (46:02.796)
Right, right.

Martina Jackson Green (46:07.252)
and how I connect and love on the people who are present in my life. I just, yeah, I show up. Yes, yes.

Jason & Tina Marie (46:12.308)
Exactly. And see, and that's what I'm talking about about relationships, right? When you're, and see, but it, the, what you went through shifted your perspective. And so we have to get to the understanding that if nothing has transpired in other people's lives, even though we may be a part of their lives, if nothing has transpired, their view is still the same. They have not shifted. And that's why, you know, when we talk to couples,

Martina Jackson Green (46:23.073)
Yes.

Martina Jackson Green (46:35.638)
That's right.

Jason & Tina Marie (46:40.33)
We try to get them to understand that whether it's divorce, whether it's a breakup, whether it's a separation, whether it's a loss, it's you. The other relationships, these people haven't gone through what you're going through. So you have to be able, as you said, to rise. And when we talk about, you know, consciousness, right, you have to rise above where you are to see what's really going on.

Martina Jackson Green (46:50.368)
Yes. Yes.

Martina Jackson Green (46:56.598)
Yes.

Martina Jackson Green (47:07.393)
Yes.

Jason & Tina Marie (47:07.495)
But you have to first be aware. an aerial view of what's really going on. And then, I mean, that's just talking about

Martina Jackson Green (47:14.88)
That's how I feel, Tina. I truly do. I feel like now I can see, like I can see pieces moving on the chessboard, you know? And just, it's so interesting how just my perspective on how people interact and how they talk to each other. It's very different now. It's like illuminated, you know? And I think that's where we get to the good part of the grief, right?

Jason & Tina Marie (47:24.27)
Yes, yes

Jason & Tina Marie (47:36.524)
Absolutely. Yes, yes.

Jason & Tina Marie (47:42.593)
Yes. Right.

Martina Jackson Green (47:43.308)
The grief is hard and it's tough and it's ugly. But if you go through the process, if you allow yourself to learn, right? As you're going through the process, you come out with a perspective that allows you to be a blessing in a different way. I think, I don't know, you'd have to ask my friends, but I think I am a kinder, gentler, more understanding, more compassionate version of myself now.

Not that I was mean before, but I just, know, yes, you get refined in the fire. You know what I'm saying? And so while I wanted people to still be the same with me, I'm not the same. I am not the same. And I like this version of me a lot. You know, I like that I'm more sensitive. I like that I listen better to people and that I'm intentional about my engagements.

Jason & Tina Marie (48:15.382)
Right, I get it, right. It's the awareness, right.

Yes. Yes.

Jason & Tina Marie (48:27.842)
Right.

Martina Jackson Green (48:41.376)
with folk, you know what mean? I try not to be like, let's have lunch three months from now. No girl, what you doing tomorrow? Not tomorrow, about the next day? Like, you know, like I want to love on you right now. I am so intentional about loving all my people now, even more than I was before.

Jason & Tina Marie (48:47.202)
Right.

Right. Right. Right.

Jason & Tina Marie (48:57.582)
That's great. Did you have a question? you go. I do. I'm looking at Jason's comments. He has comments over there. You know what? I'm just going to... I won't let this... This is for you. I still love you too. That's right. She started that. She started over here looking at on the back end. Read messages. That's right. All right. Yeah. Psalm patches us tell us over and over again. us go into the house of the Lord for many, many...

Martina Jackson Green (49:21.588)
yes.

Jason & Tina Marie (49:25.91)
I can't, reasons, including to be loved. So I'm seeing the two different things. So you got to understand it's just a few things inside. Everything is not clear in front of us. That's all right. That's all right. I totally agree. Yes.

Martina Jackson Green (49:26.7)
That's right.

Yeah.

Martina Jackson Green (49:35.094)
Thank you.

Martina Jackson Green (49:39.581)
yeah, about attending church, 100%.

Jason & Tina Marie (49:41.994)
Yeah, it is. It makes a whole difference. it absolutely makes a difference. And not that you can't get the word at home, but we're not talking about the word. We're talking about the spirit. So does Dad chime in? Hey Dad, welcome to the show. Thank you for joining us. And while we're reading these messages, thank you for joining us.

Martina Jackson Green (49:52.492)
Mm-hmm.

Jason & Tina Marie (50:00.814)
If anyone has any questions, please make sure that you put them in the comments. support, just add a girl. Give an add a girl high five something. All right, so let's read the next one. else? Yeah, I got this. Okay. okay, I'm sorry. And those going for spiritual counseling, if your needs are not being met, your spiritual counselor should have...

Martina Jackson Green (50:06.604)
Let me get some water before the questions come.

Jason & Tina Marie (50:26.71)
Psychological therapists to refer you to. Absolutely. Absolutely. And the thing is, you don't have to have one or the other. No, you can have both. All of them. It's community, right? You just can't get through some of this stuff on your own. The problem is, we were taught to go through life by ourselves. Don't say anything. Everything that goes on in this house, you don't say anything when you get outside it. And you walk around, especially for men, we walk around with all these burdens and all these things just on us, and we can't talk to anybody about it.

Martina Jackson Green (50:34.518)
Two votes.

Martina Jackson Green (50:55.21)
That is terrible too for couples, you know, to think that we have to work everything. You have never been right. If you're a couple, you've been married two years. You've never been at five years. So you don't have all the tools and resources and insights right for the next leg. I, so my husband and I were co-founders of the married couples ministry at the United St. Mark United Methodist Church in Chicago.

Jason & Tina Marie (50:56.608)
It is.

Jason & Tina Marie (51:08.141)
Mm-hmm.

Jason & Tina Marie (51:11.638)
Right. Right. Right.

Martina Jackson Green (51:24.78)
And we, there's so much value in surrounding yourself with like-minded couples, with faith-based couples who can share insights with you. You know, if you run off to your friend who's single and you're like, my wife did this, that friend's gonna say, I would never take that. Let's go to the club, right? That's not where you need to be. You need to be with the friend who's like, bruh, I know, I know, sometimes they trip, but this how we're going.

Jason & Tina Marie (51:45.774)
Absolutely.

Jason & Tina Marie (51:53.326)
But let me tell you how to get through it. Let me tell you that she really don't mean it. And I was just gonna say that, especially when we're talking about loss, right? Even grieving the loss of the relationship that you either once had, or if you're still in your relationship, what you thought your relationship was going to be like. Right, no one thinks that when we say I do and the person I chose life to do life with, that we're gonna be at odds with each other.

Martina Jackson Green (51:54.314)
You know what I mean? That's right!

That's right.

Martina Jackson Green (52:13.046)
Mm-hmm.

Jason & Tina Marie (52:21.934)
So loss happens in so many different ways and I just want people to understand it just doesn't have to be the physical loss, right? Just helping you through understanding that if you've never ran this race before, you may need a little help, right? And so it's the help that we provide, that you provide to help people come on and see.

Martina Jackson Green (52:38.08)
That's right.

Jason & Tina Marie (52:44.056)
Hey, it's okay to get a little coaching. It's okay to get a little therapy. It's okay to get a little spiritual understanding. Whatever it is you need in that moment. I always tell couples like when they come, say, if you could fix the problem, you wouldn't still have it. Let's go to... Yep. Hey Sandra, Happy Friday. Yes, I so appreciate your truth. I believe she's talking to you, Martina. Yes, yes.

Martina Jackson Green (52:56.106)
There it is. There it is.

Martina Jackson Green (53:09.164)
you

Jason & Tina Marie (53:11.062)
I mean, we just we need to we need to hear we need to be real Because people just don't you know, people think like okay you went through this and you're okay You know, it's enough time and people always say you should be over this by now You know, you should you should be on it and I'm like I never understand it. It's not based on time No, it's based on how I evolve based on healing the healing process, which is continual whether like you said whether we're healing from what has just happened or what has happened

Martina Jackson Green (53:27.628)
Not at all. Yeah. Yeah.

Jason & Tina Marie (53:38.03)
15 years ago or in another lifetime or from what our parents did What our third grade teacher said to us this now a trigger So healing is a gradual process and as you say it giving yourself grace. Let's get the next cuz we counting down. All right, mm-hmm discuss Discuss how grief is an ongoing experience Absolutely. So go ahead and you can I'll let you do that

Martina Jackson Green (53:42.316)
That's right.

Martina Jackson Green (53:57.184)
Yes.

Okay. So yeah, grief shows up in a lot of ways. And so I think the tools I use to deal with it are always evolving as well. there were seasons of the grief where I didn't feel like I talked to anybody else. And so I had to get into my books. I had to get into my word. had, you know, pour into myself. And then there were seasons of grief where I needed other people to share it with me. I needed somebody to speak his name. I wanted to talk about

Jason & Tina Marie (54:09.986)
Absolutely.

Martina Jackson Green (54:29.036)
the memories and the experiences. And so I needed community for that. There were seasons, I tell you, there was a stretch of about two months. It felt like every Sunday I was on the altar crying. And I was like, Martina, I'm sick of you, okay? I'm sick of you. Stretching out on this altar. Like I would plan my church outfits like, okay, is this a stretch out on the altar outfit? Cause no, that's where I'm gonna end up. But you know, it's all of that.

Jason & Tina Marie (54:41.518)
One, two, please, get out.

Jason & Tina Marie (54:54.03)
You

Martina Jackson Green (54:58.412)
And so, and different things work for different people. know a lot of people journal. I never was really a consistent journaler, but every now and then I would have like paragraphs that I just needed to write to him. And so I would type it up in my phone. know, you can, there's so many ways to process, but understand that you've got to process, right? So figure out, okay, today,

Jason & Tina Marie (54:58.968)
Yes.

Jason & Tina Marie (55:03.842)
Absolutely.

Jason & Tina Marie (55:24.078)
There you go.

Martina Jackson Green (55:27.232)
Today, maybe I need to sing. okay, maybe I got to stretch out on the altar today, right? Maybe I need a friend to sit with me and help me walk through this. Maybe I'm going to call his mom. I adore my mother-in-law. She is amazing. Her strength like blows me away. Okay. Cause that was her baby. That was my man, but that was her baby. Okay. And I call her because I know if two people on this planet love that boy, was, it was a straight and still.

Jason & Tina Marie (55:35.502)
Mm-hmm. You're good.

Jason & Tina Marie (55:46.722)
With her baby, yeah.

Martina Jackson Green (55:56.884)
you know, and I'll call her and she will talk with me and we'll share and remember and, that helps me process my grief. And so it, and I will never, I will never be the Martina before the grief. I'll never be that. And so this Martina is on a journey of, you know, opening my heart and staying open to love in all its forms, right? Love from my friends and

Jason & Tina Marie (56:11.96)
got you

Martina Jackson Green (56:26.54)
and friends who are showing up for me in the most beautiful and amazing ways, Dating and trying to open myself to love in that way. And so, and even in that, there are moments in dating where I'm like, oh, I just want to, I just want to have my dream girl. Like I don't want to be here. But that's all. Oh my God. I'm sure you all have counseled many, many couples, but.

Jason & Tina Marie (56:41.902)
Yeah.

Martina Jackson Green (56:55.69)
You know, when you're with a person, you get to know that person and you've trained them on how to fold the sheets and stuff like that. It's like, we gotta do this again. It's part of the job.

Jason & Tina Marie (56:58.508)
Yep. Exactly. Right. Exactly. Exactly. I saw something online once when I think he said, you've been married for so long, and then you break up and you get a divorce, and then you out here dating, and you sitting down with somebody and be like, but what's your favorite color? He said, man, take your butt back home and marry your wife. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like you got to go through this whole process again. And sometimes you're like, can we just skip that part and just get to the...

Martina Jackson Green (57:16.876)
and

Martina Jackson Green (57:21.356)
Yeah.

Ready?

Jason & Tina Marie (57:28.206)
Let's get to the adult version. So I feel for you. I feel for you. You got my prayers on that part. I feel for you. All right. Yeah. So you got another message. OK. All right. We'll get this. I just don't want you make sure you get them all in. I got a lot. Nancy, if you got one more thing to say, you better get in before we get it. You are surrounded by people who care and love you. Amen. That is so very important. All right.

Martina Jackson Green (57:28.277)
Yep.

Martina Jackson Green (57:41.188)
I'm scared.

Martina Jackson Green (57:55.424)
Yes, know that.

Jason & Tina Marie (58:00.782)
You are in my head. Wow. Yep. That's what we're hearing. That's the only one man we all sharing the same thing. Absolutely.

Martina Jackson Green (58:02.416)
yeah!

Martina Jackson Green (58:06.93)
Yes, yes. Because even though we have different experiences, you know what I mean? The feelings, right? We all have the feelings. And no matter how you get to your grief, it's still grief. It still hurts, right? Those people who lost their homes in those fires, they are grieving. All of your possessions, all of your neighbors, the Starbucks you went to, everything about their lives changed.

Jason & Tina Marie (58:18.414)
Exactly. Exactly.

Right.

Martina Jackson Green (58:34.708)
Yeah, we, no matter how you arrive at grief, we get here and we have to navigate it together.

Jason & Tina Marie (58:40.974)
Yeah, because your life is no longer the same. Your daily routine, any of those things, those things that you thought were important. you? As you say it, you are now a different Martina, right? And so life is different. And so now we have to take it from this point. I can never go back to who I used to be. So let's read that. I want to make, want to hurry up. Deborah, thank you for joining us and joining you on YouTube. Thank you. Thank you. Make sure you subscribe and follow. All right. Let's see what happens.

Martina Jackson Green (59:12.332)
It was like an emoji or something she put in there. Like it was waving hands.

Jason & Tina Marie (59:13.39)
Yeah, I'm not sure what she was saying. that's nobody. Yeah. Okay, okay, the white, they said the waving hands or the fingers, right, Okay, so you can read that for her. This dialogue affirms that I have developed self-love to understand my value and recognize when it is time to end relationships that are no longer beneficial, I cherish this current version of myself. And that...

The whole point, you know what? Yes, Kelly. And Kelly, thank you so much for coming in. We really appreciate it. you for joining us tonight. And that's so important because no matter what, right, no matter what we're grieving or what people don't understand, the key thing is that we were in class and we were talking about, right, when we fall in consciousness. So what's the point of doing the work and then allowing someone else to come back in and destroy everything that you've worked for? It's like the fire.

Right? It's like starting from ground zero and that's not the journey. That's not the purpose of the journey.

Martina Jackson Green (01:00:07.542)
Yeah, yeah.

Martina Jackson Green (01:00:13.516)
No, you know, they talk about spinning the block and I'm really not an advocate of allowing people to spin the block unless they've done the work. Like don't come and bear on my block in the same car, okay? You can the work, you gotta come back. That's right, hey, you know, and that's friendships, that's relationships, you know what I'm saying? Anything, if you stopped eating donuts and your body felt better not eating donuts.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:00:25.384)
Yep, Sometime the same clothes. Yep.

Martina Jackson Green (01:00:41.674)
Don't let those donuts spin the block on you. You know what I mean? We're not doing that. When we move past a season and a space and we heal and evolve beyond that, don't allow that thing to come back into your life. You know, I think it's really, really important because that's how we end up repeating cycles and stuck in these situations. Even with jobs, remember, I remember I left a job.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:01:01.602)
Yes.

Martina Jackson Green (01:01:09.28)
And then I had another job and I was like, Ooh, maybe I should have gone back to my, you know, but no, you can't go back. We're always moving forward. We're learning, growing, evolving, adding tools, know, loving ourselves differently. So I'm very anti to spinning the block. Don't do it.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:01:12.078)
I should have just stayed.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:01:27.554)
Yeah, and the thing is that once you actually change, right, as Kelly said, when you do the self-love, the self, the work, the self-work, right, then you realize that that relationship that you were in isn't gonna work anyway. You're gonna outgrow it. You're not, right, you're not the same, like you said, you had to realize that, hey,

I can love that we can agree. I can love you from a distance, but this this relationship does not serve me and it couldn't serve me anyway. What would it start doing is bringing friction because it's not meant is not meant for that season. No matter what. Yeah, right.

Martina Jackson Green (01:02:03.852)
Oh yeah, and you feel uncomfortable. You know what I'm saying? But again, we don't listen, right? When spirit tells us you don't need to be here and you feel uncomfortable and it's like, ah, but we press on, no, I'm gonna hold on. It's okay to release those things that don't serve you. And again, it doesn't make that other person a bad person. It just means we're at different places on our journey. And it's okay. I wish you the best and I release you.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:02:09.816)
Hahahaha

Jason & Tina Marie (01:02:28.352)
Absolutely. Yeah, because what we have to realize is everybody's journey is not the same. Nope. And it's okay. But you know, again, people don't want to lose that relationship because I've had it for so long. What we think it was. Right. All right. Let's keep it because it's all right. All right. So that's it. Dennis, where are you? We haven't seen you tonight. Dennis is out partying. It was warm today. All right. So Dennis, if you watch the replay, make sure you

Martina Jackson Green (01:02:36.374)
That's right. That's right.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:02:57.474)
Chime in like you always do we'll be listening to your and we want to know what you think so and respond to Don All right, Jenna says my gold rush sister Martina so much food for thought your perspective on grief that that it can be a Major part in your healing journey Amen. Yes. Yes. That is the whole point, right? Yep, okay. I just didn't want you to pass. I'm not gonna pass you all right. All right Kelly says

Martina Jackson Green (01:03:19.19)
Mm-hmm.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:03:27.148)
That's different. You on Deborah. OK. Yeah. Yeah. See, that's wrong. See, that's you. All right. Kelly said this dialogue is therapeutic. The process of mourning is a continuous and developing path. Is that a safe path? Path for me. Yes. Yeah. Amen.

Martina Jackson Green (01:03:41.77)
Yeah. Yes. Stay on the path, Kelly. Stay on the path. And it's, you know, there are twists and turns. This grief will show up in the most random ways. And, you know, it's not just losing my spouse. So because I lost the three so close together, I find myself grieving them at like random times, right? It wasn't linear. So I kind of postponed the grief of my husband a little bit. And then my brother passed.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:04:09.132)
Right, right.

Martina Jackson Green (01:04:11.404)
So I really find myself now five years later, grieving my brother so much, know, like missing him and like looking at our pictures. It's, you know, each person in your life holds a special space. And so my brother, it felt like he held my youth. Like he was the dude who would remember the names of all the cousins at the family reunion and stuff. I was like, who's that? Who's that? You know what I mean? Like, you would always know.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:04:27.31)
Mm-hmm.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:04:34.766)
Yeah, right.

Martina Jackson Green (01:04:40.544)
You know, your siblings are the people who shared those childhood vacations with you, you know, and they remember when grandma did this. Remember when daddy did this? Like that was the person I could talk to about that. And so now that he's gone, I feel like a part of my childhood and those memories went with him. But it's taken me five years to get to the point where I can sit with that, you know, where I can write letters to him and, and, and speak his name and, you know, and do that without like,

breaking down and so it's very interesting and it truly is a journey. It's a journey. It's not a race and you get to the finish line and you're over this grief, you know, it doesn't work that way. But what I know is that each leg of the race, I learn new tools, new methods. I figure out what works for me. I'm the type of person when I'm heavy in my grief, I get quiet because a lot of times when we're emotional, we

Jason & Tina Marie (01:05:11.255)
Right.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:05:22.018)
You're right.

Martina Jackson Green (01:05:39.916)
lash out, you know what I mean? We're hurting and so we lash out. And I'm very aware of that. And so when I, in those most painful moments, I just get quiet. I go take a nap. I get quiet because I don't want to take it out on my babies. don't want to hear, you know, I, and I tell people, you don't have the right to like throw your pain on other people. That's not fair. They don't deserve that. And so I've had to figure out, okay, when I'm in these really hurting moments, what can I do to ease myself?

Jason & Tina Marie (01:05:41.239)
Right, right, yes, yes.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:05:52.652)
Right, right.

Martina Jackson Green (01:06:08.576)
but not hurt the world.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:06:09.944)
That's so wonderful. Because awareness, awareness, the first step, as we say with everything, is awareness. Sometimes people don't even, the pain and the grief is so strong that your lash out to you is normal. And you can't even see that it's a lashing out and the person really hasn't done anything. That's so amazing. Just such good gems. I mean, just such good gems, girl. I didn't expect anything less.

Martina Jackson Green (01:06:25.356)
Thank you.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:06:39.262)
my God, it's the attack of the teeners. I tell you. All right, so. Yes, yeah, you should see us in person. We together, right? It's never about getting over anything. It's about getting through. Getting through it, healing all the way. Yes, yes. And again, but that's different for everybody. Yes, and it looks different. It looks different. Yes, yes.

Martina Jackson Green (01:06:41.996)
Let me tell you, the tiniest... whoo! It's a thing!

Yeah

Jason & Tina Marie (01:07:05.102)
Whether it be time, whether it be how you're dealing with it. Just not finding an escape, like alcohol or drugs or anything like that. Let's go to the next one. All right. Thank you, Martina, for sharing so wonderfully. Yes, thank you. Thank you. All right. We coming through. We trying to get to them, Martina, and we do it. You got to go. All right. So let's see. Kelly says, thank you for your truth.

Martina Jackson Green (01:07:17.74)
Thank you.

Martina Jackson Green (01:07:25.974)
Yes.

Martina Jackson Green (01:07:30.316)
Thank you, Kelly. Thank you for being here. Thank you so much.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:07:34.974)
Yeah, it's a nice community. Okay, Kelly says, brother recently passed away. He was my closest companion. Indeed, life has its ups and downs. I am adapting to a new way of living, navigating through the challenges while learning to love myself and others wholeheartedly. Amen.

Martina Jackson Green (01:07:52.31)
Kelly, let me tell you, so my brother, my brother was three years younger than me. This dude followed me to college, okay? He was my road dog and I stayed for grad school. So we had our college years together, post-college, like we had very similar personalities. And so we, that was my dude. And so I totally understand that, when it's not just your sibling, but your friend, he was my friend.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:07:59.586)
Hahaha!

Jason & Tina Marie (01:08:12.959)
No.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:08:19.564)
Right, yes, that's wonderful.

Martina Jackson Green (01:08:21.32)
And so it definitely, it takes some realignment. But what I tell myself though, I am so blessed to have been loved so well. know, I truly, I have been loved so well and I have no regrets. I have no regrets. It is so much better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. And so I'm grateful. I'm grateful for all the years.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:08:44.949)
Amen.

Martina Jackson Green (01:08:49.312)
that I had with my dad, that I had with my husband, that I had with my brother, I'm now in a place where I am filled with gratitude and joy for the time I had with them rather than mourning the time that I did not have. I can truly appreciate the years I did have.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:09:08.182)
that's so wonderful. That's so wonderful. please accept our condolences for the loss of your brother. Yeah. And you know, we're here every Friday. So if you just want to come on and just say some words or just say something, please do. All right, Dot says, I'm loving the conversation this evening. Thank you, Dot, for tuning in. Thank you for chiming in. Thank you for being here. All right. And as always,

Regina said, Martina, I know about the brother. It was just the second, the two of us. He was the oldest. It will be 10 years this October.

Next month is his birthday. Next month is his birth month. Yep. Wow. Yes. Yes. So we understand about the brothers. Yes. All right. Let's hear from Kelly. Yeah. Yes. My best friend. I knew love and its realest form being loved by my brother. Yes. Yes.

Martina Jackson Green (01:09:47.14)
Martina Jackson Green (01:09:50.496)
We love you.

Martina Jackson Green (01:10:02.826)
Yes. And that's, let me tell you, it's a beautiful thing. Everybody doesn't have that. So we're celebrating that. My brother, his first job was at the skating rink. Okay. And I used to wear gym shoes until they fell apart. was never a gym person. I just, you know, would wear shoes and he hated it. He wanted me to have better gym shoes all the time. He would talk about me. His first job, that Christmas, he bought me a pair of gym shoes with his skating rink money. And I will never,

Jason & Tina Marie (01:10:14.574)
Mm-hmm.

Martina Jackson Green (01:10:32.8)
Forget that, because you know, he was making like $3 an hour, like it was nothing, you know what I mean? Nothing. And so for him to use his money to buy me gym shoes meant so much. So I have so many of those moments and that's what we have to hold on to. those beautiful moments where your brother shows up and holds you down and celebrates you, you know, it's fantastic.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:10:36.258)
But nothing.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:10:42.177)
Bye.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:10:53.283)
You

But we'll keep the college secrets at college, because I'm sure there's plenty of those.

Martina Jackson Green (01:11:00.246)
my goodness. Yeah, we definitely had a pact. It was like, don't say nothing, granny, okay?

Jason & Tina Marie (01:11:10.014)
All right. Well, we thank you so much for coming on and you are always welcome to come back for whatever we didn't even get into the other stuff. Like there are so many more layers. Just love it. So we will definitely have to have you back again. we get to that, before we what does the future look like for you, Martina?

Martina Jackson Green (01:11:11.18)
Thank

Martina Jackson Green (01:11:21.206)
Woo!

Martina Jackson Green (01:11:30.998)
My future is limitless. I truly, I've never felt limitless. I've never felt like all of the possibilities were open, you know, because coming out of college, you know, you get a job and you get married and it was very kind of lockstep. But I told my daughter, she's a freshman, she's finishing her freshman year. I said, baby girl, you got three years. Cause when I drop you off on campus, I might be on Mars. Okay?

might be anywhere and I'm excited about it. know, initially I was so afraid to venture into life by myself, you know, but now I'm like, you know, we might do an eat, pray, love. We might, who knows? Who knows? Like everything is open to me. So I'm really excited about that and I'm glad I'm...

Jason & Tina Marie (01:12:04.213)
Yes!

Jason & Tina Marie (01:12:10.124)
Right.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:12:15.476)
That's right. That's right.

Martina Jackson Green (01:12:23.978)
I'm so full that I can say that I'm excited about it. I'm not scared because God has kept me through all these other things that truly could have broken me and they didn't. And so now I feel even more invincible. So I'm like, let's see, let's see what happens. gonna stay back in five years and we'll see how I can get here in the world.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:12:33.774)
Yeah.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:12:37.838)
You

All right, so are there any more questions comments concerns, thank you come back girl come back Yes, it's so wonderful and so I you know, there's so many and I really wanted to touch on Because you call it good grief and I really did want to touch on that how you arrived at the good grief right

Martina Jackson Green (01:12:50.418)
I I will, Candy. I will.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:13:09.622)
Right, so we're definitely gonna have to have you come back on. No, no, no, we're gonna say that for another time. Nope, nope, nope. We're gonna make people come back. This is like that cliffhanger, right? That's right. You're doing that TVA. That's right, that's right. So Martina gotta come back and everybody online gotta come back. That's right, hold on for that because I know that's gonna be more than just a second and I wanna give it its due diligence. And so we do want you to come back on it. Thank you so much.

Martina Jackson Green (01:13:24.296)
Okay. That's right.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:13:36.962)
Thank you, can't thank you enough. I love you, I appreciate you. And it's amazing, people may say, well you just met her. It's a connection, it's a soul connection. Has nothing to do with time and space. I've been knowing you forever.

Martina Jackson Green (01:13:36.982)
Thanks.

Martina Jackson Green (01:13:46.347)
Yes.

Absolutely not. Forever, literally forever. Thank you all for having me. I love the work that you're doing. I love how you are blessing the community and I love how you're blessing couples. Look, I'm team marriage all day. I might be a widow, baby, but I am all for marriage. I love what you all are doing and keep helping people.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:13:53.774)
you

Jason & Tina Marie (01:14:11.626)
All right. Thank you so much. Thank you, everyone. for anyone out there that is looking to as we talk about what how should I be? How do I show up? What am I? How am I navigating this space right now to get into my next season? So I do have a workshop next week. The second workshop is next week, Monday through Thursday. Please go online and sign up for it. Do you have one for him? Baby? So it is Manifest You. And so, know, our book is all about manifesting.

So it's manifest you it means what do you want in your life? That's gonna bring you joy. What does your joy look like? What does your happiness look like? Sometimes we find ourselves So wrapped up in what life says we should do work people mothers kids, whatever it is What what do you want for your life as you as Martina just said? What will get you to that?

I can do anything, place, right? What's gonna get you to that, I'm invincible, I'm willing to try whatever, or I realize that there's some things I need to release. And so again, that workshop is next week, register now, it's June 2nd through the 5th, it's at 6.30 p.m. and this is the evening session, because I did one morning session a couple of weeks back, and this is the evening session, 6.30 to 7.31 hour for four days, and we are going to find out what do we want?

and how to get there. We're laying out the roadmap, all right? We're laying the path. We are intentionally creating what we want in our lives, all right? So that's, and then next Friday we're out. You gotta tell them how to get it. You have to go to LegendaryRelationship.com. That way you can click on the workshop and sign up. I'm gonna tell you something, right? So we're talking about all these different things. And you know, we always sit back and say, you know what, I wanna be better.

I want to do this. This is my year. And you're saying all these different things, but you never move on it. You never take ladies. And this is only for ladies, right? The men are coming. Right. So, so, so for the ladies, if you, know, you in that season where you want to move, you said you were going to move, but you haven't really done it. Even if you said I took, I've taken a step before. Go sign up again, sign up again and just say, Hey, you know what? I didn't really get everything that I needed, but I still need a little nudge.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:16:29.966)
Right? It's a community of love. mean, last week the women were just super excited. Tina was off the chain and happy for all the transformation that took place and all the revelations that the ladies received. Right. It's really about movement, not being stagnant, not being stuck in the place where we feel like this is all that life has to offer. Right? It's about moving forward. It's about what feels good to me.

that I can continually make a change. So guys, don't forget to go to that legendary relationship, it's Manifest U. What I was gonna say is we're talking about Manifest next Friday. We will have Reverend Shirley back. She will be on, even though she couldn't make it next last Friday. So she will be on, so Reverend Shirley will be here with us next Friday to talk about Manifesting Now. All right guys, so we just thank you, we appreciate you. Any more comments? I'm trying to get there, baby. I done got backed up here. Oh, you are?

I don't know why you you stop dipping over here my coolie. All right Martina name ran us over Nancy said I love the conversation. Thank you. That's Sandra. Sandra. No, Nancy. don't know how I keep clicking on the wrong thing. Sandra says I've never seen I've never seen talking about grief

Martina Jackson Green (01:17:39.392)
Me. Me.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:17:53.428)
in such an uplifting manner. Amen. Amen. We got it with the kisses and the hearts. gotta make sure we're not missing anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is. mean like. And that's the point, right? The good grief. The grief itself was enough. Right. We don't have to stay in that place. And I think that's the most wonderful thing. And that's what I love about it. So what did Deborah say? Deborah said, thank you. Great show. Thank you, Deborah. Thank you, Martina. I'm gonna say it again as we're going through this. Yep, right. Yeah, I know.

Martina Jackson Green (01:17:55.794)
Thank you.

Thank you.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:18:19.822)
keep my eyes on here. Carrie says, Tina Jason. I think that says Jason. Yeah, it's supposed to be Jason. Jason, I'm already doing that. I am manifesting things that I never dreamed of right now today. Decided I'm trying everything and anything that brings me joy. Amen. Amen. I'm on the joy train all the way. Yes. Yup, Yup. So let's see. Dice says, thank you, Jason, Tina, and Martina. Yes.

I'm trying to say have a fantastic evening and weekend everyone. Yep that we will because this is a special weekend. Why is it special weekend? We gotta get the next message. I'm gonna let them know why it's okay. Okay. All right. It says thank you Martina. Thank you Jason and Tina. Everyone continue to enjoy the rest of this weekend. All right Jason Sunday you can click big it up.

Sunday Jason and I will make 34 years of marriage. I know, he married me when I was one. Yeah, I got a real young. Right? So June 1st we'll make our 34th year. I just, one, I couldn't imagine doing life without him, but two, I'm like, oh my God, 34? Like, where did it go?

So I'm like, I need to start doing everything that brings me back on the table, yeah. All those dreams that we had before, was that time to brush them off and get them Yes, kids don't realize you put your dreams on hold to pour into them. it's not a bad thing, it's just that you realize when That was that season, right? Yeah, that was that season. All right, you had Kelly's up, I think. Thank you. Kelly said, thank you, Tina and Jason, you did it again. Amen. All right, thank you, Kelly.

Martina Jackson Green (01:19:52.204)
Thank

Jason & Tina Marie (01:20:03.712)
Alright guys, we love you. We appreciate you. Thank you again, Martina. Can't thank you enough. We would definitely connect when you are free to come back on. So we better let you go because they may be tearing down your house right now. yeah, yeah, yeah. Alright, so as always guys, we're gonna end this session like, don't forget to go to YouTube and if you have not subscribed to our channel, please subscribe to Legendary Relationship.

Martina Jackson Green (01:20:10.549)
Thank

Jason & Tina Marie (01:20:28.118)
Make sure you share this video, like this video, go on Facebook, go on YouTube and share it. And if you know anyone that may be going through some type of grief, make sure you share it with them. Anything else? Martina, is there anything that you would like to Yes, I was going to ask her. Martina, anything. Yep.

Martina Jackson Green (01:20:44.296)
You know, so I am doing lots of public speaking. I do grief workshops. So if you're looking for me, Emerald City Communication, emeraldcitycomm.com, you can find me and book me and I am happy to come into spaces and share what I have learned on my journey.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:21:02.348)
All right, we are going to put our information in the show notes, so you guys, you make sure you look forward and tell them, tell them your handles on Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, tell them your handles. LinkedIn, wherever.

Martina Jackson Green (01:21:11.498)
Yes, yes, you can find me on Emerald City Comm, on Instagram, and also on LinkedIn, Martina Jackson Green, all over LinkedIn. So I love connecting with people. If there's any way I can help, please let me know and I respond to messages. So if you have questions or you just want to share, I'm happy to help.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:21:33.838)
Wonderful, wonderful. Thank you so much. All right, guys. I think I got one more message coming in here. wait, go up. Wait, we got some messages. That's what happens when you ever get some. Yeah, okay, One more down, Janice. Yep. All right, so we're gonna go through these real quick, real quick. yeah. With Jason getting together. All right, thank you, Jan. Happy anniversary to Jason and Tina Marie. yes, yes, yes.

lot of fun. We had a ball, yeah. So happy 30. Who's 30, Dot? We 34. It's 34. Yeah. 34. Give me my four years, girl. That was rough. It was trying to teach him how to fold the sheets. Yeah. Right? No, you're trying to get me out of mood at play. All right. So happy anniversary. Thank you, from Tina and Jason. Thank you, Versy. We appreciate they're going to die. All right. Yeah.

Martina Jackson Green (01:22:15.99)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:22:28.43)
Happy 34 wedding anniversary Jason and That's right, thank you, thank Yeah, them four years important. That's right. Ooh, them four years we might not have been able to make it. You know what saying? I to unlock them four years. Thank you, Regina. Happy anniversary. Thank you. And then Sandra says, happy anniversary, Jason and Tina. Yeah, thank You guys do know it's Tina and Jason, right? No. No, no, no, no. They know. They went to the right school. It's the man. All right, put Kelly up there real quick.

I just always mess with him like that. It's so funny. All right. Thank you, Kelly. Happy anniversary. Thank you, everyone, for thank you for being here, Kelly. We really appreciate that. And that's to everyone. Thank you for tuning in. Thank you for spending your Friday with us. We love and appreciate and adore you and share the knowledge. So as always... Hold up. Make sure you tell everybody, because we're here on Fridays. So we always going to bring something that's always going to be positive and it's always going to be something that's going to improve your life.

If it's not for you directly, it's going to affect someone you know. So, you know, if someone's going through a loss, you could be that better friend now. You can know how to support them. You can't because maybe life hasn't changed for you, but it's changed for them. It was another thing I was going to ask you about them not mentioning your husband's name. Like they get ready to say something in your presence and they say it and go, and then the whole conversation gets awkward at that point. So.

Martina Jackson Green (01:23:48.844)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would say, you know, it's important to speak their names, you know, you don't have to stumble over it. He didn't disappear. He was here for 44 years and he was an amazing person. And so...

Jason & Tina Marie (01:23:51.842)
Go ahead, Martina, how is he gonna ask you that and we get...

Martina Jackson Green (01:24:07.062)
For me, and I've heard from other people who are grieving, it's important. Speak your brother's name, your friend's name, your husband's name, whoever, you know, your grandmother, whoever it is that has transitioned. It blesses me when people tell me stories and share pictures and things like that. So speak their names. I think that's important.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:24:29.358)
Yes. Yes. Oh, here come Mia. All right, Mia. Thank you. Happy anniversary. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. All right. Appreciate that. right. It's important to speak their name. Like you said, they didn't just disappear or anything. So, yep. But that's something that we have to learn how to do. Yes. Right. We don't know what to say. So we just we end up in this awkward space in your presence and stuff like that. So love it. Love it. All right. So we are definitely going to get out of here. All right, guys. Don't go anywhere yet.

All right, we have a turn. Huh? All right. I said we're going to it. I said I don't want to hang up. Right, right. So as always. Hold up, hold up. Hold up. Don't carry me too fast now. You said let's go. I did, but I didn't really mean it, mean it. He's navigating this new space. Come on, let's get on up out of here. I'm trying, baby. You don't want me to hit the wrong button. All right, guys, so don't forget to go to YouTube, share, like, subscribe. If you haven't subscribed on YouTube, please do it.

You can find Martina at, we're going for Jason to find what he needs to find. Martina, tell them again one more time where they can find you.

Martina Jackson Green (01:25:33.17)
Emerald City Communication at emeraldcitycom.com.

Jason & Tina Marie (01:25:37.514)
All right, thank you so much. as always, you ready? I am. All right, you gotta put your mic on. gotta put your head up on mic. As always, we're in it to win it. Till next week, guys. Thank you so much. We really appreciate you.