When a Dom Says No

You're listening to the Loving BDSM podcast episode four eighty. Kayla Lords here with the one, the only, the The what? The what? Be careful with your words. I don't actually have a whole lot of words today, so I'm not sure what. Ah. John Brownstone. Okay. We've got your new little mic, and I can't decide what it makes you look like. You're sitting here shirtless, which is delightful, but I'm not I can't I don't have words

for that. Okay. You tried to talk to me and my brain did not process words. Yep. And So it's gonna be interesting this afternoon. Right. Yeah. So I don't really have anything witty to, say about you. Okay. Right. Now, I mean, not even anything that could get me in trouble. It's not like I'm avoiding words. It's like I have like, you've rendered me speechless. That's what it is. Dang. Yeah. We know that's a lie, but still. Sounds good. Right? Yeah. That's not what we're here to talk about.

Although we will be heavily leaning on your experience as a dom. Oh, shit. Thank goodness you got a mic right by your face for once. We're gonna need the people to hear you. Let's hope they can. This week, we're gonna talk about really a thing I have not stopped thinking about since the last, Reddit episode Mhmm. Where the dom was trying to figure out the best way to punish himself or themself. I'm assuming the narration.

The dom is trying to figure out the best way to, punish themselves after not, air quote, following a rule within their relationship. And my brain just keeps going, but sometimes a dom says no or a dom just doesn't initiate or a dom just doesn't do a thing because they potentially have that kind of authority. And so we we gotta talk about it because I can't stop thinking about it. Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, glad to have

you. If you're back for another week, welcome back. Loving BDSM is produced every Friday, and show notes are found at lovingbdsm.net. Come back often and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite podcast app. And if your podcast app lets you leave a rating or review and you're actually enjoying yourself, we would love a five or a whatever whatever the top number is, star, rating or review. Please and

thank you. Mhmm. You can also follow the show on FetLife at loving BDSM PC, on Instagram and technically threads at that handle I will forever fucking hate. It's loving d s and the number one, so at loving d s one, on blue sky at loving BDSM, or on YouTube at youtube.com/lovingbdsm, where you can watch us live stream the podcast every Wednesday. All links are in the show notes. A big thanks as always to our kinky patrons over on patreon putting our newest folk. We are grateful for every fuck I

want of you. We are able to be weirdos on the internet because of our kinky community over on Patreon. If you'd like to join the community and get access to extra content and a Discord server with a group of super cool, super nice kinksters, you can. Join us at patreon.com/kaylalords. That's patreon.com/kaylalords or use the link in the show notes for a hot minute. Okay. And away we go. So before we get into the topic that I wanna talk about, I have to do a

thing, and I don't have to. I'm choosing to. It feels important to me. When I told JB what happened, he thought it was important. Two things. I'm gonna give the content warning and then a a too long didn't read version. So for anybody who needs to heed the content warning, you can mute us, fast forward, however you're watching or listening. The content warning is this thing I'm about to say we are gonna have very brief mentions, but nothing detailed on sexual assault, sexual violence.

So just know that when I tell you what briefly it will be mentioned. The TLDR, for people who need to skip because of that content warning, is we will no longer be mentioning or using content from or endorsing in any way therapy, Jeff. Yeah. Okay. So for me to skip out, you got the important, you got the highlight. Let let me get into it a little bit. I'm gonna be rambly. I've been thinking for two days about how I wanna say this because I, of course, I have to be

awkward. So first of all, I'm not trying to tell anybody what they need to do. I don't like, it's none of my freaking business. And I'm also actually wanting to tell y'all this all publicly because we have done a few episodes where we used content created by Therapy Jeff. And I I don't remember what I said, but I'm sure I said all those times was yeah, he seems cool. Yeah, I like him. Yeah, he's got good advice. Yeah, you should follow him. And I have had to unfollow him.

I've chosen to unfollow him. And so if you sought him out because we said you should, I want you to know that is no longer our opinion. I'm gonna give a kind of a top level of what I saw and my reasons for it. If you are interested in the saga, most of it, the discussion around it, screenshots, can probably still be found on threads. Do a search of therapy Jeff and don't go to his account, but go to all the conversations about him, and you'll probably see it.

So it started with right after oh my god. Right after the CNN story on I can't believe I have to put these words together in a sentence. The CNN story on the online rape academy. If you don't know what that is, you should Google it. I'm not going into it here. That story has been out for several weeks, but it went viral, relatively recently. Therapy Jeff made a piece of content. My assumption is is it is in response to that story about

men. I don't remember him saying anybody but men who, have what I think most of us who listen to it interpreted as intrusive thoughts about rape and how they need, a place to go for help and they need community because if they don't have it, that online space is what occurs. And when I I recognize I have I often recognize that I don't see the world the way most people see the world because I see it through a kink lens.

So I don't always react to certain things as immediately as maybe others might. And so I thought, is that an intrusive thought? I don't know. I have intrusive thoughts and I desperately want don't want those to be real, so I can't imagine acting on it. Rape fantasy through the lens of kink is, like, a thing we have entire conversations on. So he had no nuance in that video. Very, like, flat info that did not did not even touch things, did not even acknowledge harm that can

be created. Like, it was just like it was a little messy. It was a little like it could have been better. And then apparently he went on threads and it got worse because people started, like going, I don't think this is doing what you think this is doing. He did not have a good, response to that. He did not at the time have a great response to that. And I was seeing it on threads. I had somebody from our audience sent me an email.

Shout out to that person. I did see your email to go, hey, have you seen this? I was like, okay. Let me keep looking. Let me keep looking. There are accusations being thrown around on threads. Not I'm a person who has been directly harmed by therapy, Jeff, but a lot of, well, I've heard and this is the vibe. And I was like, okay. Well, I need something more concrete. And then I saw the thing more concrete. And that is when I went, I cannot.

Concrete. And then I saw the thing more concrete, and that is when I went, I cannot. I cannot follow this person anymore, and I cannot recommend this person anymore. And that thing that I saw, somebody posted on threads, a question for anybody who could possibly be and and has ever been on the receiving end of a hand job and what they like or what they need or something like that. Like, tell me about, you know, what you're looking for or what you like. I can't remember how they worded it.

But Therapy Jeff's response under his account where he is a therapist, his professional account was a little I write about sex and I put all my bits on the Internet and I went, was that appropriate for a licensed mental health professional to say online? Because we all got to be in his sex fantasy in about 300 words or 300 characters. And I was like, okay. You were you are not helping yourself. I am now really unsure about you. I'm going to unfollow. Since all that, that's been in the past

several days. Apparently, day of recording, I think, he has put out an apology video. He has deleted his the video that started all this and the arguments that happened on threads. My understanding is as of the time of this recording on April 22, video is still on TikTok, and I think the video is still on Facebook where it is presumed it's there because it's monetized. So think of that what you will.

My whole point is when I am implicitly explicitly whatever seem to endorse somebody, tell somebody, hey. I think this person's probably okay if you wanna go check them out. And we hit a point where I can't even begin to imagine what you might see if you went to their account. I'm done. I'm out. I'm not putting my name on that anymore. So I'm not telling anybody what they need to do. You get to, you know, we all get to have our own feelings and

opinions about that. I I think the video he made initially was probably not made in an attempt to cause harm, but it could have. It was very unnuanced. There was, like, there was no even accounting for the harm that has been done to women and other victims of rape. Like, it that was sloppy. And then I guess the arguments online didn't help. So if you're at all interested, the therapy side of both Instagram and threads still talking about it. Apparently, silent said it's also a Reddit post.

Okay. Okay. So if you're on Reddit, you can probably see it there. There's details I don't even know. There's details I missed. What I saw was enough for me. So, yeah, I will be removing any links that we had to his account. We're not gonna take down the content we made. The content stands, but I we're yeah. Yeah. That's that's that's where where we are.

I no longer have enough trust. I trust the dude with, like, my bank account number, but I trusted him to be a professional on the Internet talking about relationships and mental health. So if you followed him because we mentioned him and you have feelings about that, go check it out for yourself to the extent that you can. Do what you feel you need to do.

I just since we talked about him him and talked about how we thought he was okay, I had to tell you that I don't think I don't necessarily think that anymore. I'm hoping the apology is sincere and he learns and grows from this, but I don't have to be there while he learns and grows from it. There are too many people I can follow online to get good advice from. So there. That's the thing. Tada. Now after all of that, I'd like to get into what I actually wanna talk about today.

Okay. Said it before, I'm gonna say it again. This episode was a 100 inspired by that Reddit post Mhmm. Where the rule in their relationship is they would have sex at least twice a week. The dom had a busy week, had a lot of stuff going on, had personal stuff to deal with. It did not make sure they had the sex twice in the week. And then the question was, how can I how can we do punishment? Shouldn't there be a consequence?

And my brain was the record that kept skipping on, but depending on how you negotiated your power exchange, doms have authority over those things. True. And so they either initiate that or they don't. And so what? This is not this conversation I'd like to have is not about should doms have consequences when you don't do a thing. Like, that's a different conversation. You know, there's accountability. We've talked about it before. We can talk about it again later.

I and I don't know if this conversation is about Adam's authority Mhmm. And how that works and whatever. I don't know if it's a conversation about the difference between what you need in your relationship versus what you want. I don't know if it's a conversation about a sub's responsibility to self advocate, to go, hey. There are things I need that I'm not receiving. What can we do about them? I don't I don't know where this conversation takes us, but I have to talk to you

on my dump. Oh, dear. Obviously, JB does not speak for all of Domdom. Okay? But I just, like so this is one of those conversations. I'm not coming at it with too many, like, fixed ideas in my head. I I want to explore this and and go where it takes us. So let's start with the thing that I is what the thing I keep is one of the thoughts I keep thinking about, which is how much authority a dom has on the decision making

when you were the dom. When something has been it's either negotiated explicitly or like in our relationship, we know you're the initiator, whether it's of sex, a kink scene, whatever. I can ask for something if I need it. And if we can do it and you're willing, we work that out. Mhmm. But, like, within our power exchange, you are going to be the initiator of a lot of things. True. And sometimes you just don't initiate for all kinds of reasons. Right. You're tired.

You're sick. There's not enough time. There's so can can you talk to me a little bit about that side of things as a dom for for you? You know, this this is kind of one side of this that makes makes me think of something. You know, I've I've often said you don't want to break your toys. Right? Mhmm. And, you know, there there are times say no for a lot of different reasons just because, you know, no. You're not getting a treat. You've already had how many treats this week. Right. Yeah. Okay?

You know? You know, the other thing is I there are times I say no just because I'm a damn sadist. That does not surprise me at all. I see the gleam in your eye when you do. You know, because I'm I'm I'm looking for a reaction. Right. You know, and I I then I feed off that reaction. So, you know, then then another time I would say no, You're prone to headaches. Mhmm. You know, you get a migraine. Sure. Oh, I'm not gonna initiate a scene or or sex or anything with, you know,

when you're in that Right. Yeah. And you're not gonna Even though we have, you know, open access Right. You know, I'm I'm not going to do it. And also, at the same time, because of that, I'm not going to punish you Right. Right. Yeah. For that. Mhmm. Alright? So, you know, I I think it kind of also works in reverse Mhmm. Or should. Mhmm. You know, again, don't know exactly how they had this.

I go back to, I don't think you should have a rule based on how many times you're gonna be intimate in a given time period. Yeah. I don't think that's a good rule. Even though regardless that works for if that's something they want and they negotiate and that's that's part of it. But nothing is ever just black and white. Oh, of course. Shades of gray everywhere. Yeah. So, you know, to to say, you know, this person had a a busy week. We both know what a busy week

Sure. Can be like and what it can do. Is that grounds for punishment? I mean, that part that part, we did that conversation. I'm talking about you okay. We let's pretend we are those people. We have set an expectation of Right. A certain level of, let's say, a kink scene. Not maybe how many, maybe it's a type, maybe it's a whatever. And for any reason, throughout a given time period, you do not initiate them. Okay. Because because you are the initiator. Right.

In a thing where you and I know that I have the freedom to come ask to I don't initiate, but I can, like, wave the flag that's, like, clearly there's some interest here. Right? Yeah. You know, regardless of we have this agreement of what we'll try to do of anything or the, you know, things that we want to happen in our power exchange regardless outside of sex or scenes or anything.

If you were the one left to be the one to make that happen, start that, give me the signal, do the thing, that means you then have the authority of when and how that happens. Correct. So that means that sometimes it won't happen. Correct. Regardless of what it is. Now if it's a thing where it's, you know, it's been negotiated and or it's just been discussed and it's an understanding between people in a relationship that the

hitting mics now. The submissive partner can initiate, can request, can whatever. Now we're talking about an explicit ask where you it's not that you Mhmm. Did not initiate, you are able to give a yes or no. That is another form of your authority. Mhmm. And And as we've already established, sometimes you'll say no because you're a fucking sadist. Mhmm. And he is, and he will. But, you know,

everybody's different. I know. So I'm asking you, JB, from your perspective as a dom, is that just a other than anything that's not part of the negotiations to the agreement or the power exchange, is that not just an inherent part of your authority as being the one in charge, being the decider, having the power, having the control. Yes. And that's just now go back to the very beginning. Can you negotiate something different in your own power change? Of course, the fuck you can.

Yeah. I I mean, we we have talked about it in in the past about how, you know, life is insane at times. Sure. Okay. And, you know while people say oh they want you know the spontaneity. Yeah. Okay, you know sometimes you have to plan things. You go, Yes. Alright, you know this weekend let's do a scene that you know, Sure. Middle of the week. Hey. We got nothing going on. Let's Mhmm. Let's do this. And and you you plan. You have to. Now

To a certain extent. Do you feel like it's when you say you plan, are you thinking of yourself as the Dom who's thinking ahead to what does this week look like and what do I want? Are you talking about a mutual decision in the between the people? Well, I think when you plan something out like that that far out, you can say, you know, hey, look. I'm thinking about us doing something this weekend. Mhmm. Alright. Are you open to it? Sure.

You know and then discussing it. How how much I tell you what is going to be Right. Is Right. You know, my prerogative at that point. Yes. So Yes. But yeah. I mean, I think you people in a power exchange can negotiate the level of authority the Dom is comfortable having, the sub is comfortable allowing the Dom to have over them. But I and I think that should be a topic of the discussion when you're figuring

out your power exchange. Because I don't know how we've gone four eighty episodes, and I don't know that I've ever used the word authority to describe your dawmliness. You know what I mean? Like power control decide in charge, but it is a level of authority that you have I've given you, you've accepted, you want, you don't, you know what I mean? And that those things fluctuate

over time. You know, we we've talked about our four or five years of just, like, skating by on bare minimum, and you did not have a lot of authority at the time. You could not handle that much authority. And now we're working on getting back into where we want to be. And I made a comment to you the other day, and I didn't say authority, but we were talking about parts of our power. Authority. I used to have to do a great

Eric Hartman impression. I'm not gonna do it and have it live on the Internet, though. And what I said to you, I didn't say the word authority, but I will now, is that on some levels, I think you are out of practice of asserting your authority. Mhmm. Because you have not been in a position to be able to or to want to or have the energy or the whatever to make certain kinds of decisions. Like anything else, it's a muscle. Right. You know, muscle memory. When you don't use it, you kind of lose it.

And we've had small little conversations about how I'm like, I I would like you to have some more control, please. I need to turn my brain off, please. We haven't done anything with it. But that takes me to my next point on this, which is the the control and power of of having that decision making power Right. Means it's a a big responsibility, of course. It's you know, add that to the list of both privilege and responsibility. Mhmm.

But it also means that because you're not a mind reader, no dom is, that's news to you. You heard it here first.

I think I can speak for myself on this, if you go too long as a as a submissive, if I go too long without something I really feel like I need to feel complete as a submissive to, like, be part of my submissive experience, whatever whatever, then I think, you know, now we've got upset and hurt feelings and resentment and worry and, you know, trying to not I don't think I'm doing this, but

maybe I am. But I, you know, it would not be inconceivable for a submissive partner to try to make that happen without explicitly going to their dom and going, hey, Dom. I need this thing. So now we're dealing in the part where, okay, you have the authority, you granted that authority, I'm happy to have you keep that authority and be able to say yes or no, or tonight we'll do the thing tomorrow, whatever whatever it is.

But sometimes that is dissatisfying from a submissive perspective to not get the thing I would like to have. True. I mean, I don't like it when you say no. I can't have a treat or, you know, no. We actually need to go to bed, and I can't just stand here and rub your butt for the next, like, forty five minutes. Gotta sleep sometime.

Excuse me. I think that gets a little bit into figuring out for yourself as an individual your what you need in your kink relationship out of your power of training versus what you want. Like and everybody's gonna have some different variations. I I mean, quite frankly, over a get a single day, I can waver between what I feel like I want and what I feel like I need. Like, I want you to be the indulgent daddy dom who lets me do what I want

and thinks I'm the bestest girl ever. It also gives me exactly the sensations I love. And and an unlimited supply of Diet Coke. Right? Of course. Yeah. What I but you are with my input through the years of our relationship, through all the negotiations and the communication we've had, you are also interpreting what I need and trying to give me what I need instead of just what I want. Just what you want. Right. Right. Which means that's a part of the fact that sometimes, not just

sadistically, sometimes you're just not gonna initiate. We're not gonna do the thing. You're gonna say no because in your estimation, that is not a need. That's a want. At this point. And it's not the right time for that want. Correct. So that is then where I think folks have to get real clear with themselves about their wants versus their needs. I am a sassy baby girl. I want

what I want when I want it. That does not mean that's the right thing I need for you to be in control to the extent that you want to be in control. Right. But what that means is by allowing that control, I'm giving up the ability to, as long as I consent to it, to make those decisions. Those decisions then are on you. True. Which goes back to you are gonna say no sometimes.

Right. Yeah. Sometimes I am gonna say no. What I think crosses the line the other way is alright well you know what not today. Mhmm. Okay. That's not my favorite either. There. Today. And then and then tomorrow rolls around. You know what? Not today. Mhmm. You know? And it's just an endless run of nose. Yeah. And that I think isn't the problem. I think that's where power exchange folks in

power exchange can go wrong. Because if you are constantly saying not today, not today, not today, now I'm not only I'm I don't need as a submissive to always be denied. Right. But that's not been a satisfying part of the power exchange for me because those those wants can absolutely turn into needs if you don't get them ever. Right? Yep. But also there are some needs that will not and cannot be fulfilled every day, every moment of every day, all the time, however you want to define that.

There's some needs that real life is going to intervene. How are each how do either of us feel on a given day? What do we have the energy for? What do we have the capacity for? Is this the right time for it? Can we find the right time for it? And so even the things that you really need, like, I need impact. Right. I need roughness as part of sexual intimacy. I need certain types of pain. I need to be controlled in certain ways at in certain times. I can go a long time without that

because there's usually a good reason. It's very understandable. Mhmm. We're busy. We're tired. We're this. There's stress. There's illness. There's whatever. But after so long, then it's like, okay. Now I'm Enough is enough. Enough is enough. Yeah. Exactly. And I, you know, I think, oh, sure. Lola, just be right by the box. Yeah. I know. That's why I kept looking over there. She was laying right next to the power strip for everything.

But so then you then have the sort of the additional responsibility or maybe it's just part of the responsibility that you have to make sure that I get some of what I need often enough that I'm happy. We're all happy. Everybody's doing good. The relationship is, like, progressing in a way that it needs to or it's, you know, we're functioning in a way that's good for both of us. It's a balancing act. Mhmm. That's, you know, don't wanna go too far one way or

too far the other way. Right. You know, you don't wanna be overindulgent. I mean, I think you could be. I think it's okay. I think, you know, special moments. Mhmm. Mother's Day. Mhmm. Birthday. Wow. Because I look cute that day. Whatever. Whatever. So What that means then though is as a submissive, if it feels like it's been too long or I am missing something Right. That I'm it's now creating some level of negative feelings or resentment or worry or I just feel off.

Like, some kink is not therapy, but it is therapeutic. Mhmm. And there are parts of it that we can experience as individuals that make us feel good. And you go too long without it, and you're like, well, I don't feel good. I don't feel like I'm functioning right. So at that point, it would be nice if you sort of noticed. Or Yeah. If you were like, wait, it has been a while. I we

should really do something. But even if you do eventually get there, it is still my responsibility as a submissive to, you know, in the way that is dictated by our power changer. We've negotiated for how we communicate these things. It is my job to go, hey. Right. There's some stuff missing here. Can we talk about that? Absolutely. You know you know I am notorious I can get wrapped up in my head. I know. And and just hyper focus on something and you know.

Mhmm. What? There's a world? There's other people? Right. There's something outside of the thing that I have. So, you know that that is all too easy for me to do. So, you know, yeah. If if you there comes a point you have to say, hi. Remember me over here? Yes. Now here's the thing and this I don't it will not apply to all people all the time, but I think this is something that can happen to anyone at any time.

Depends on how you're wired, I'm sure. I am extremely understanding of the fact that you were tired. Your mental health is was not good as, you know, could be better, but what? You're sick. You're busy. You're this. You're that. Blah, blah, blah. And so I do have the problem sometimes of telling myself, oh, this is not a good time to bring it up. Oh, this is not a good time to bring up. And then what I'll do is push myself back into making myself wait even longer. Not good

either. Yeah. Knock it out. No. Because there's there's never the perfect time. No. And even and this is this is the part that sometimes I have to remind myself about. So maybe I'm also reminding somebody out there. I can tell JB explicitly exactly what I want, exactly what I need, what I'm missing, what I'm craving, what would help me feel, you know, better, more, you know, what are words, like more grounded, more submissive, give, you know, give me some

of what I want need. And it is still his decision on how that happens, when that happens, if that happens. Which that goes back to being a big responsibility because It is. If you let it go too long especially after I've communicated my needs, well, now we're in resentment territory. Now we're in the what am I what are we doing here? You know? Because now it's it's one-sided. Correct. I in a in a way, one person is essentially maybe getting what they need.

Now if you're in a situation, we've been in this, where nobody is getting what they need because the dom does not have the capacity to do that, then there can still be some resentment. I I felt that over the years when we were we were coasting. Mhmm. Because you still got to make the decisions. Yeah. You didn't wanna make as many of them. I didn't That's true. You know, try to push you through. But I still knew there was no just me making that decision

and not coming to you, you know? So even in times where you're like, I don't have the capacity for as much, could I have negotiated not doing the things I do? I could have. Mhmm. I think I don't think that would have been good for me in the long term. But I could have. That was always an option.

But, you know, that's where even when both of you don't have the capacity to do everything you you would like to do, in my case it's the submissive who was still providing service, who was still doing the things willingly. Again, I could have negotiated a pause if I felt like I needed to. I was still doing all those things. But because you're you had less capacity for the big D stuff.

You weren't doing the big D D stuff, so I wasn't receiving the big D stuff, but while I was still doing the submissive stuff. And that can create an imbalance. Sure. Which and I can go the other way. It depends on how what the you know, how much a Dom does. JB is the decider, so I might initiate a conversation. I might initiate that there's a decision that needs to be made, but that's part of my service. Some Dom's are the are the ones doing all that thinking about stuff

and deciding about stuff. There there are a lot of times I will say to you, okay. Decision needs to be made about something. I want you to go look into a few things and then let me know. Right. And then I'll and then I'll base my decision from there. Right. And that's how we divide the labor. That's how we do our power exchange. And there are some doms who who take on a lot more a lot more of the work part and the submissive is just waiting to be

told what needs to be done. And then of course there's a million other varieties other than that. And so I think that imbalance can occur on either side of the slash. But I think that's an in, you know, an issue that has to be considered by the person who has that responsibility by the dominant with that amount of authority that, you know, that authority allows you to decide you're not going to do the thing. You're gonna say no. It's not an option, whatever, whatever. But for how long? And what

does that mean that Mhmm. The submissive partner is still doing? And that's to me, that's you know, ideally, you wouldn't recognize it. You would see that. You'd tally it in your head and go, oh, shit. It's been a while. That's that's that would be great. I don't think that's a bad thing to try to work towards being more aware. But as the submissive partner, I'm the one living it. I'm the one feeling it. I'm the one

recognizing that something is off. I like, it for me, realizing I needed more time as the precious baby girl that I am, who was taken care of by her daddy dom, it took me a hot minute to realize what the hell was off. What was missing? I just knew something, like, service just it wasn't doing what it does. It normally does. Right. And so it took me a minute to figure out what I needed. And if you didn't figure out what I needed in that same time frame, that makes

sense. I wouldn't expect you to. But once you know is this is once you're like, wait, I'm I'm looking around and there's some things that we have not been doing for too long. Then it's the responsibility of the submissive. You got it. You've got to speak up. It you know, it could be an oversight. It could be that whatever your dom is going through that's keeping them from initiating as much as they once did or

whatever it is, is big enough. And that maybe there's a renegotiation that needs to take place. Maybe because doms are human, they need a little bit of a push sometimes. And that's not topping from the bottom. That's just like Yeah. Going, Hey, remember me over here? There's some stuff I'm missing and what and it, you know, I Avoid just throwing out accusations. You clearly don't want this anymore because you're not doing this.

That might be true, but maybe maybe just start with, Hey, this is a thing I'm I'm missing. Is, you know, can we talk about this? Is there anything going on? Is, you know, does something quick how do we achieve this thing? Do you want this thing? If we can start from a place of curiosity and not of, Of judgment? Yeah. Mhmm. That would that's that's ideal. Right. That's ideal. Absolutely. I I know that, you know, shit happens and Sometimes, you know, you don't say it in the best possible

way. Like, fair. That happens. But if you want the conversation to go anywhere as you're trying to have the conversation, start with curiosity, start with respect, mutual respect. Mhmm. Yeah. Coming off with judgment or, you know, accusing that that's gonna shut everything down before it even starts. Yeah. And you know, I have plenty of memories from my non kink relationships of the that's

how the conversations were. It was you're you're not doing this thing you're supposed to be doing, and he wasn't. But I didn't ask, is there a problem? Is there something I need to know? I just went, what the fuck? And now I'm trying to be better now. I'm trying to, like, grow and improve and have better

communication skills. Because here's the thing, that asking in the quote right way or, you know, speaking in a respectful tone or being the best, in this case, submissive you can be does not mean that the your dominant partner is going to say it right, is going to do the thing, is going to follow through. Sometimes that relationship has run its course. Sometimes there's an dom you need.

But let's like if you're trying to make this be something you want it you want it to last and you want it to work and you're you have some level of good faith that there's there's something here, then maybe, you know, I'm just saying. Let us not go back to our pre kink days when Yeah. We didn't communicate well because it didn't work then. It's not gonna work now. It's not gonna work now. I think it's it's completely fair. I know

that some people do this. When they need to have a serious conversation, they, you know, have a signal, have a cue, have a word, and they step outside of their dynamic. I think it's fair to have the if you were that type, even this conversation can be outside of your dynamic. I had a dynamic set up like that before. Yeah. My brain can't I can't compartmentalize that way. I think I've got there's just too many neural pathways between all the parts of my skin.

Okay. And so I'm grateful we don't try to do that. Because the me who is not submissive will call somebody that I feel safe with on their shit very quickly. The me that is submissive will do it but in a polite way. And it should should I use that skill outside of submission? Sure I should. But, you know, for me having the the headspace of I am your submissive, you're the decider. Because I know I'm safe to say what I need to fucking say. Yeah. I can find a way to say it in the manner that we

want within our power exchange. Yeah. I mean, you you have to be, I think, you know, understandable when somebody says no. You know, let's be honest, the times I have had shop accidents is when I'm tired. Right. Okay? Right. Do you want me doing things to you when I am tired and could very easily make a mistake? Well, here's the thing. In this moment where we're speaking rationally about it, I can easily go, of course not. Of course not.

I can imagine if it's been what feels like air quote forever, it's been a long time, and two things are happening or not happening or or or happening. There's not clear communication about why there's been no initiation. It's all been no. We're not doing the thing. And somebody within the dynamic just does not feel like they're getting what they need out of the power exchange. Yep. It is very easy to go, I have every faith that you won't. I think it'll be okay. Go ahead anyway.

And for doms out there who are like, Well, what do I say to that? You're the dom! Depending on how you negotiated your Power Exchange, you are the decider in that. Now I I know there are doms out there who think they should just be able to say no and we're done. And sometimes I you know, sure. But when we are talking about especially if you've got a partner coming to you going, I have there's something lacking here. There's something I have not gotten to experience. It's not happening.

That is not a time to say no when you're done. There you need to explain why. Tell the why. Then again, there that comes down to knowing how to read the room. One person could accept the note. Okay? You, you're the type of personality that you are, you need that explanation. I need that explanation the first time. By the sixth week, we have still not done the thing, and I have communicated my needs, and I have been told that my needs are important, and that you want

to do this thing with me. But every time the opportunity arises, it's a no or nothing happens. Right. When we hit, and it's an amorphous time frame based on the individual. For me, I wanna know why immediately. Other people can accept a Well, no point. I said so. That's my point. There will come a certain point you've said no too many times and you're not telling me why. And as, I'm saying submissive because that's my

perspective. But the partner on that receiving end, they're gonna be like, do they not want this relationship? Is it me? Have I done something wrong?

You know what I mean? Like, if we are talking more than a couple of times or for any amount of time that feels long to the person who is being denied a thing or can't have a thing or can't do a thing and they have expressed themselves and they have communicated their need for this in whatever, like, whatever it is and in whatever way, you keep not doing the thing for too long, you better come with a fucking reason because what you are doing and I I'm

the potential for resentment and the potential for what's wrong and what it what are they not telling me? I'm not saying it can kill a relationship. Maybe it can. I guess it depends on a lot of other factors going on. But it can harm that sense of trust that I've given you this authority and you're gonna wield it in a way that I will benefit from it. See what I'm saying? Yes, there are definitely people out there who can just be told

no, and they will accept it. Cool. But I think everybody has a breaking point. Sure. Your breaking point will be different than my breaking point will be different than their breaking point. Right. But at a certain point and and as a dom, I would say my advice as somebody who you don't want me to be the whiny baby girl in your fucking ear. If you can see long term that you can't do this thing Mhmm. Or there there are only specific circumstances that will allow you to do this thing.

And it's either been happening long term or you can see that this might be a long term thing. This might be a thing you have to say no to more often than not. I think it's, like, it's a good idea to be upfront with that. Once you can see it for yourself, once you can articulate why this can't happen as often as they want it to be. Are you working long hours? Are you ill? Do you have, you know, chronic chronic issues, pain, whatever? Like, what goes on that can prevent this?

And the more we can communicate upfront and manage expectations, the less opportunity for resentment and and, you know, worry and, you know, self recrimination to creep in. Mhmm. And especially on the submissive side. Submissives in general, whatever way you submit and whatever that looks like and however you negotiated, in general, we want something from that, but we want to do something for our doms. Right? And if our dom is not initiating the things that we have been like, hey,

we would like, this would be great. This makes me feel good. I feel more specific. Whatever. Whatever. And they're just not. Then you've left room for interpretation of why that is. And I don't think that's healthy for your power today. No. It's not. Then, you know, you start doing that enough then you're, yeah, then then you're in dangerous dangerous relationship territory. Mhmm. Okay. Exactly. So that's my whole thing. Yes. A dom has the authority

Right. Based on how you what you've negotiated. They're going to decide whether to do something, to initiate something. They're going to say no. They're going to give permission. They're going whatever, whatever, whatever. Mhmm. And if it's not happening enough and a submissive is like, wait, I'm missing things. I feel like there's things I'm not getting, Then it's the submissive responsibility to speak up. Advocate for yourself. Express yourself. Go, hey,

I would like this. I need this. You then do, you know, you're abiding by whatever decision that your dom makes. But I think for the kind of relationship to maintain trust between you for open communication, doms need to be prepared to explain. Even if that's not what you normally do in your power exchange. Because if you've got a partner coming to you and saying, I I would like this or I need this, and you're not providing Mhmm. Ever or rarely or whatever, To me, they are owed a reason why.

Yeah. And you know, I think it's very easy both sides of the slash will do this to avoid hard conversations. You don't want to disappoint your partner. You think they might not accept your reason. You kind of can't even fully explain yourself. Mhmm. Me personally, I'd rather hear you go, I can't fully explain it. I I haven't wrapped my mind around it, but there's something preventing me. It is me, not you. That I would still want to know more. I would be dying of curiosity.

I would also want to problem solve with you. But you wanna know what I would also know? It's not me, and maybe we can, you know That is information too. I don't know why I feel this way. I don't know why I'm not doing this. Quite frankly, it's probably because there's something about it that doesn't feel right for you. Maybe it's a thing you should not have negotiated. Maybe it's not a thing you wanna have control over. Maybe it's not a thing you wanna do at all.

But I think, you know, I would me, I feel would feel like I'm owed at least that. Help me understand why you are not doing the thing that you have said you're willing to do consistently. A one off, that's you being the dummy. You're making a decision. We just Yeah. Submissives, part of submission, depending on what you've negotiated, is being told no.

Right. To me, the hardest part of being a submissive was accepting that and accepting that I could tell you, hey daddy I want this kind of spanking tonight and I might not get that kind of spanking. Right? I might not get a spanking at all. Something entirely different might happen. Right? And that, you know, that can be that can be a little weird to experience for the the first time.

But if you are a person who wants submissive person, who wants only what you want, the way you want it, when you want it, honey, you're probably a bottom. Because submission is you are submitting to somebody else's will to the extent that you've negotiated. You don't have to negotiate away all of your control and power and whatever. But whatever you said, yes, dumb, you can be in charge of that. That means they're in charge of that until you're like, no. I don't want you to

be in charge of that anymore. You know what I mean? And that means they're gonna tell you no. Yeah. But you say no too often? I mean, now we need we need a conversation. True. True. And I I think that the the the dom that relies on because I said so, like, they want to be and negotiated this hopefully, and you just say no and you expect your submissive to,

accept that. I I think you gotta tread real fucking carefully because there I know there are power exchange relationships where that's kind of the vibe. And that works until it doesn't. So if you were that type of dumb, you need to get real clear with yourself that there will be times you will explain yourself. Maybe not always. Maybe that's not like

a dynamic you have. But when we're talking about, you know, a submissive not feeling seen, not feeling like their needs are being met, not understanding why this is always a no, but it's still on the list of things that could happen. Why you said, Yeah, we'll do that thing, and then you never initiate it. Even when your partner is saying, Hey, I would I would love to have this experience. Alright?

You can't just hide behind no because I said so for everything all of the time and I just don't I there are two there are exceptions to that and I just think a dom like that needs to be prepared for there to be exceptions to that rule. Mhmm. I'm not saying every dom should, you know, give a thirty minute lecture on why you said no. I wouldn't want that. I'd be bored after minute five. But there are times where you should be able to

explain yourself. And I think your submissive has every right to want more than just the because I said so, even if that's what you normally do. That's that's my lecture on that. I, you know, it's nuanced. It's, you know. It is. There's no single right way to do any of it. It's all communication. Yes. And yes, sometimes you just get told no

or you don't get the thing. That's why I'm first of all, I don't think it's a good idea to set a rule or a mandatory we will do this physical thing this many times when we got sex, kink scene, doesn't matter. Simply because real life will fuck you up. Okay? Yeah. But you can have a goal of that. You can have a this would be great. This is what we're striving towards. And, you know, if it doesn't happen, have a conversation maybe about why that might be. I think sometimes it'll be obvious to

both of you. Oh, somebody was sickening in the hospital. Clearly, I was not getting my ass beat twice this week or whatever it is. Right? Like, sometimes it's obvious. But I think if you have never had the conversation in the negotiation of your power exchange over what kind of authority the dom has and when they will say be the decider of a thing and how that will work. Have that conversation before you're like, what do you mean you said no? We've never you know what I mean? Why? Why?

That that level of authority is a huge responsibility, but it's a huge That that level of authority is a huge responsibility, but it is a huge privilege. Yeah. And Yeah. You know, when you're careful with it, when you're conscientious about it, I think you'll do good more often than you'll fuck up. But you'll fuck up, Dom's. It will happen. You won't mean to necessarily, but you'll get busy or you'll have you'll be in your own head about shit or, you know,

your sub won't be explicit. You're gonna make you're gonna fuck up because you're human. Right. But just saying. So, yeah. That's I probably could keep going. I'll just as I'll be repeating myself. Is there maybe other ways to look at this, you know, part of dominance? Of course there is. Feel free Mhmm. To comment or whatever. However we are connected and you want to share a a perspective that we didn't consider here. But, yeah. Doms get to say no, but it is a it's a it's a power that

has to be wielded properly. Mhmm. That's true. So That's true. Let me double check my notes to make sure I didn't forget anything. Yeah. I think we got it. Okay. Alright. So, are we good? I don't know. That's not for me to know. Keep it kinky y'all. And we'll see you next week. Dottie. Yes, baby girl. Can we talk to the crickets? Sure. Okay. What do you wanna talk about? I got nothing. You were your boy band, Mike. I saw I saw the live chat. Yeah. I thought you could be a member of boy band.

I know. I know. When we were testing it last night on live and he was wearing it, I was thinking I knew he looked like something, and I could not, and it was yeah. Well, you know, I I had mentioned this last night too. When I was watching the videos that the company had for setting all this up and hooking everything up, they called this the Madonna mic. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I couldn't remember what I knew you called the Madonna mic, but I

couldn't remember the context. Yep. So Well, apparently, she was out on stage with Sabrina Carpenter rocking like a purple corset. So Really? You know, get your Madonna on. I'm, you know, put the kilt on. I bet you might be able to wear that kilt again. You know, I was thinking about that today. I I I need to, try it and see where I'm at with that. I will be an embarrassment, but in, like, the most chaotic way if you can wear

that damn kilt again. I know. I don't think you'll want to take me out in public, but, you know, I will not behave myself. Well, you know, I meant I meant I meant to tell you, I went I went to that that little munch Mhmm. Last month. There was, someone there wearing a kilt. Did they look sexy as well? You know, I do feel like just wearing the kilt no matter what what a person looks like, their body type, their whatever.

I think whatever you look like, whatever level of attractiveness somebody perceives you to be, you put the kilt on times times by 10, whatever it is. Automatically, none of the rest matters. Just, you know, let me look at your knees, apparently. I don't know. I don't know. You rock that fucking kilt. You still have the black boots. Right? Mhmm. You still have the black boots. Boots. Right? Yeah. They they need to be cleaned up.

They're I'm just saying I might have a lot more needs that need to be seen to. Okay? Just saying. But, yeah. I I do need to, to give it a to give it a try and see. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mhmm. Oh. Just saying. Maybe we don't need, dollars for demos on a Friday night livestream. Maybe we need I don't know somebody be creative with words, but it's you in a kilt on camera. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. Well, I did say if I you know, once I get back into it, I would wear it on the stream

one day. So I know. Maybe That's still that's still open. Maybe what we do is for every, Super Chat, you raise it up another little inch above it. You know? See how high we can go. You will have to wear something underneath it if we do that. I would like to still have a YouTube channel. Yeah. Really? But we've already established I will sell some version of you to whomever has willing to pay. So Yeah. You take Tayce, you said find a good boot black. Coins for kilt. Coins for kilt.

Thank you, kitty. Coins for kilt. I am dangerous with this little pack that Yeah. You I know. Make me nervous grabbing it like that. Well, I walked away and I'm like, Lola out earlier. I was like, because I forgot it existed. That's why you got a clip back. I tried and then I couldn't sit comfortably. So I don't know if I'm if I'm made for this lavalier mic life. That's all I say. I'm I'm liking it. I'm sure everybody who can now hear you no matter which way you move your head

is liking it too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that that's why that's another reason why I am sticking with this. When I tried the Lavalier, I moved too much. Yeah. You do. I I mean, I'm a mover. We know that. I'm too, like Yeah. But your voice you got a voice that carries. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We established that, during the test day before we record we're doing this Yeah. On Tuesday. But I think y'all already knew that. There

was no place before the old mic. There was no place you couldn't could put that mic. You could not pick up my voice. Yeah. Hell, I noticed when, we were doing the test or whatever Mhmm. And I was we were trying to talk into the mics to test to make sure we were being picked up. I had forgotten to turn this damn thing on, but You were bleeding into my mic. Exactly. Yep. Don't you worry. Worry. I'll make sure I'm heard.

Oh, there's an there's an idea, Tasey. It said find a, fitness armband for them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Andre asks if your mic box is still dead or has the display started working? No. You didn't get a chance to call? No. Yeah. No. That's gonna be a I have to do it tomorrow. Yeah. This day kinda got away from us a little bit. I I was just happy to have my sander back today. I was so happy the little things the

little things. This is DeWalt sander. My DeWalt sander which is my my premier sander it's it's the best sander of the three that I have. And yes, he does have three. Yeah. The Harbor Freight, well that's for extreme backups. But, anyway the DeWalt because I do use it so much. One, I wore out the Velcro on the bottom pad and I did get the part to replace that.

And then, after I started, I got that and replaced that, Turning it on would surge and come to surge and and, come to find out that when I opened it up Mhmm. The brushes in the motor were worn down to nubs, so I ordered some new brushes for it. Four and a half weeks later, still waiting for said for us just to arrive. Mhmm. And it was the, restaurant rule. If you don't know the restaurant rule, if you're waiting on your food, if one of you gets up and goes to the bathroom,

invariably your food will arrive. So if you feel like you've been waiting for a while, one of you just try to go bathroom? Mhmm. That's that's what we call the restaurant rule. Yep. Okay. Go ahead. Restaurant rule. So, you know, I had been telling her I'm I'm really frustrated because, you know, while the the harbor freight thing is a okay for backup, it's not Right. Right? It's not by DeWalt. Not DeWalt. And the other one, the the other one, it's a little palm sander.

And, I was like, I I think I would really like to get another sander. You're right. I'm tired of waiting. Tired of tired of waiting. This You know? Yeah. And, you finally gave me the go ahead. Mhmm. What was it? Monday? Tuesday. Tuesday Tuesday morning. Because Monday, you came in with a wild look on your face, covered in sawdust Oh, yeah. Going, I can't handle this. I think I'm gonna go get another DeWalt. And I was like, look. Yeah. Our deposits come in on Tuesday. Can you just wait

till Tuesday? We'll talk about it Tuesday. And I thought I was, like, hoping that they would call on Monday. I mean, we we needed to wait till Tuesday, but I was also thinking maybe they'll call today. So, she, you know, she comes out to the shop On Tuesday. On Tuesday morning and says, you know, go ahead and and and do it. And, I was almost tempted to run right off then. And, I'm like, no, let me, you know, I'll I'll go later this afternoon.

So, she leaves the shop and I go back and my phone rings. The part was in. Restaurant rules. Yep. I told him I was like, if you had gone out and gotten it and then gotten a call, that would have gone back. Returned it. Yeah. Could have returned. That's a $100, Xander. Yeah. That's why we tried to fix this so you didn't have to buy another $100, Xander. But I mean, $29 for a pair of brushes compared to 99 plus for a new one. Right. Yeah.

And that 99, we're not even sure if that's what they're selling it for right now. Right now anymore. Right. Yeah. And, you know, you use that sander for all kinds of things, but we're in the middle of a major paddle restocking to have a sander that worked right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. I did. How many how many paddles did I hand off to you this morning? Well, this morning, that was thirteen, fourteen. Yeah. And yesterday it was, to him I'm looking at him over there, 10.

And I'm gonna hand you Those those 10 Mhmm. Took me all day. Yeah. Which they shouldn't have because of the sander problem. Because of the sander. The like an hour and a half. Mhmm. And I had that big stack and I was like here. Yep. And I'm gonna hand you 16 thick sticks in a day or so. Bring it. I know. And I'll get them very quickly. So, yeah, it was it was no good for you to not

have that sander. No. That but that you know, when you showed me, like, the new replacement part versus the one you're replacing Yeah. They're worn down, like, almost to, like, a nub, you know? Yeah. So it clearly is well used. Mhmm. Oh, yeah. But now you also, like, know where you can go for parts Parts and stuff. Right. If a thing can be replaced or whatever. Correct. Across from the transphobic, hardware store that I will never walk in again. Right. And then I don't know that the whole

place is. I just know that that one guy was. That particular person. Yeah. Fucker. So I know. Anyway. So, but, yeah. It's been it's Yeah. Yeah. Mostly just working. Mhmm. You got some, like, sinus thing going on. Oh, that's the spring sinus crap. Did the meds I get for you or do you feel any difference? Are they doing something? Okay. Good. Yeah. Especially the, the

Flonase helped a lot. Yeah. Because the the question JB has to ask himself every time he gets the sinus crud is, is this a sinus infection or are my allergies trying to kill me? Right. So, I was like, here's some Flonase and some Sudafed. Yeah. So, you know, between the, trees all doing their thing here and all the fur babies shedding their winter coats. Yeah. Yeah. I I try to brush them best I can, but Yeah. Can't keep up with it. So I made this joke. It's not really it's not really funny.

So Ella is just, like it's all it looks like puffs of smoke, but it's like her fur is just flying off of her. Look at her cross eyed and more fur comes off. Yeah. Onyx apparently is licking all of hers off off because I've been cleaning up more hairballs. Yeah. Great. This is great. Thanks, Onyx. And Onyx is the one I try to brush the most because of that. Mhmm. Yeah. No. Yeah. And poor, Lola, you pet her just a little bit. Yeah. And you come up with short haired dog,

I cannot imagine. Yeah. Those of y'all who have long haired dogs, double coat dye, cannot imagine. I'll keep my short haired dog. Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm. Yeah. So there, you know, there's there's all that. So, yeah, there my allergies kick in and if I don't catch the allergy quick enough then it does become a sinus infection. Yeah. And that's misery. Yeah. I mean, you've had it bad enough. They had to give you a shot in the butt at least a couple of times. Yeah. We try not to let it get to that point

if we can help it. No. That's no brainer. I'm just I I am just grateful for things like TeleMed nowadays. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You've had a couple of sinus infections. We use, Florida Blue Cross Blue Shield. Mhmm. And I'm sure other this is a thing all insurance can come back to, but they have a telemed service. They don't you don't pay a co pay if you use theirs. Right. And, yeah. We've done that. There's been a couple of times, like, six, seven in the morning.

You're on the phone with somebody, and you're like, oh, I'm miserable. Yeah. Yep. Yes. Indeed. Yeah. But I sort of gauge how bad are you feeling based on where are you in time and space. If it's a work day and the sun is out, but you were, like, at the computer playing Terraria, I know he feels like shit because he's not working. The, the other indicator is when I get really bad with sinus pain, I don't even want my coffee in the morning. Yeah. You want nothing. Nothing. And you are a growly,

growly, grumpy polar bear. Without the coffee. Oh, and with the sinus affection. Yeah. Some people get real quiet and keep to themselves. And Jamie's like, let me tell you all the things I hate right now. Like, would you like to take a nap? Can I can I get you some medicine that makes you sleepy? Simon said, do you remember how bad my eye was last year? Oh, yeah. You had, something close to that not as bad as last spring, but a few weeks ago. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

With allergens or mystery woods or Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Mhmm. And you're just a hot mess when there's allergens in the air. Yeah. Mhmm. And that's all we have to say about JB's sinuses. Riveting stuff. Right? No. I just the wood glue. That's my my whole thing right now is wood glue. I have oh my gosh. FedEx guy came by Monday, and, I'm out. I'm in the garage. I'm gluing up wooden knives. I'm covered in glue. I have my noise canceling, headphones on, not because I'm trying to cancel

noise. I'm trying to listen to my podcast and only my podcast. And most people see them because they're like the kind you would see on a job site. This kind of, like, headphones. And most people know that means I can't hear you. I don't wanna talk to you. FedEx guy did not give a fuck. So I had to take off my headphones and remember to be a polite human, took a little package, and he was like, what are what are you is that a frame? And I was like, what angle are

you seeing? These are these are knives. And I was like, no. It's a wooden knife. Oh, that's cool. Can I get one? I just looked at them. Like, I don't even know what I'm supposed to say in response, but I guess my face said it for me. He went, you have a good day. I was just joking. Like, yeah. You better be just joking. It's not even finished. What the fuck would you do with it? It's dripping glue, my friend. Yeah. I don't our FedEx guys are nice. It was not it was not our FedEx guy who comes

late at night. Ah. It's not our evening FedEx guy. Alright. It was another FedEx guy that I do recognize, but he doesn't come as often. Maybe because we don't we don't usually have deliveries usually have night time. They're they're usually after four or 05:00. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. That is true. Mhmm. That is very true. And you know what? I just remembered talking about the garage. I had there's a, handle pour in the car. Oh, wow! I need to get those out of the pressure pot.

I don't know what I'll be doing when I finish here. Yeah, because I should probably drill holes in them for you. Yeah. So you can turn them into diabolical stick candles. Mhmm. Yep. Mhmm. Mhmm. Yeah. I think the energy just bottomed out between us. Yeah. I just keep staring at you when no words come out. No, mine. It's gotta be great for folks on the other side. Well, here at least we're we're getting close to, time to feed the fur babies. Mhmm. And then, feed us. Mhmm. Yep. So, I guess, are we?

We are beyond done. We could have been done ten minutes ago. Probably. We just I don't know. But then Sunday, we have game night. We do. Mhmm. If you're a member of our Patreon, you are invited to game night. Mhmm. I'm gonna try something a little bit different this time. I'm afraid. I'm gonna sit in the other room on the other computer. We're not gonna be in the same room. But, then you won't bleed over into my mic and Well, maybe I like bleeding over

into your mic. It's a special thing we share. It's fine. Whatever you want to do. Whatever you want to do. You're the daddy. So I wanna ask if it's too hot for 3PM yet. It is getting there. Today is very mild. Today, but we've been overcast. So Yeah. That that has helped. But, yeah. We're we're starting to get there, and we do need to sit down and talk about that. I know. I forgot to do that last week after I said we needed to do that last night. I know. I forgot about it too until

today I remembered and then yeah. So we do need to talk about that. Mhmm. Yeah. So alright. Yep. We, time's sake blind. Yes. I'm sure this has been fascinating for everybody. Look. Look. If we're just background noise for you while you do other things, that's cool. That's wonderful. Whatever whatever we can do Mhmm. To help. Especially if we're not gonna be entertaining. Oh my god. We should at least be helpful. Lord. So yeah. Thank god for being here. Yeah.

Especially to the bitter end. Mhmm. Especially through whatever the hell the last ten minutes has been. I don't know. And we will hopefully see you in the next one. Uh-huh. Okay. Bye. Bye.