What Causes Conflict in D/s | Dealing with Conflict Series

You're listening to the Loving BDSM podcast, episode episode four eighty one. Kayla Lords here with the one, the only, the, you do look like you should be, head of a boy band with that mic. John Brownstone. I haven't gotten used to it yet. Yeah. You know? Okay. This week, we're gonna start a new series based on, the session we did for this year's Dom Sub Dynamics virtual summit that is on conflict

in power exchange. And we're starting with what, conflict can look like and feel like and what can cause it in your power exchange. Yikes. I know. I know. It's a fun one. It's a fun one. Mhmm. And it'll be fun reliving our old conflicts. I can't wait. Oh, boy. We Welcome to Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, glad to have you. If you're back for another week, welcome back. Loving BDSM is produced every Friday, and show notes are found at lovingbdsm.net.

Come back often, and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite podcast app. And if your podcast app allows you to leave a rating or review and you like what you hear, we would love a positive rating or review. Yes, please, and thank you. Mhmm. You can also follow the show on FetLife at loving BDSM PC on Instagram and technically threads at that handle I will forever fucking hate. It's loving d s and the number one, so at loving

d s one. On blue sky at loving BDSM or on YouTube at youtube.com/lovingbdsm, where you can watch us live stream the podcast every Wednesday. All links are in the show notes. Okay. Before we get into this week's, topic, got some announcements. Next week, a week from the day of this recording, May 6, the first Wednesday in May. I don't know how other ways to, like Help it. Like, stick for anybody who's like me and is like, what date and how does time work?

We are going to our summer livestream time for anybody who has not been around for very long. It's Florida hot, and we're already getting to Florida hot. And the room we record in is the hottest in the summer, the coldest in the winter. And so for the summer months, which is more than just like two months, it's Florida, y'all, and climate change is real. But, we stream later in the day because this room becomes unbearable. Mhmm. So that starts next week, May at 8PM eastern.

For folks in, like, across the world time zones, I am so sorry. I am so sorry. We do this every summer now, and I am so sorry. I know for folks who are like, oh, I kind of, like, could do this after my dinner and you're here at a time or I could I know. I know. We will miss you. And when the weather changes,

we'll be back to an earlier time. I I don't see us ever staying with a late time of day because we hit a point usually about three or four weeks before we go back to our old time where we're both like, oh my god. Can I have my Wednesday nights back? So it's just until it's not hot as blue blazes outside. So that's the first thing. 8PM eastern. Live stream starts May 6, May. And hopefully that means for folks who can't usually catch a live stream, we'll be at a good time where you can.

The second announcement is that the very next week after we switch time, we won't have a livestream or a podcast episode at all that week because we're traveling. We will remind you of this. Don't worry. Again. And we're traveling for more than thirty six hours, so I'm very proud of us. That same week, which will be the week we'll be taking off is May 13. Look at me knowing dates. Yeah. I wrote them down and quadruple checked them.

We won't have a livestream. We won't have a podcast episode that Friday, but we will have a livestream that Friday, May 15. So we will remind you of all of this, but it just means that we're gonna, like, switch our schedule up and then switch it up again temporarily and then come back to a new time. And everybody's gonna be confused. And if you are confused, don't worry. You're not alone. Hell, I'm confused. I will be confused. Will I remember what time we're streaming?

No. I won't. Will I remember that we're not streaming on a certain week? Probably not. So don't feel bad. Okay. So those are the announcements. Now as for this new series, and we're starting the topic for today, all that good stuff. The series was inspired, I said this earlier, by the session we did for the twenty twenty six Dom sub dynamics virtual summit. That is a mouthful, on repairing your power exchange after conflict. Because conflict is inevitable, it a 100% happens.

And much like I think definitely last year and I think the year before, the time constraint we're given for those sessions, I was like, there's so much more to say, more than even what I edited out of what we did say. So we're gonna start a series that's based around that topic. Now if you would like to see our session and every other session, from the twenty twenty six summit,

Replays are available for purchase. I wanna say it's $99 and then you get everything that every session that was part of the summit if you're so, if you're interested in that. This will be the long windy conversation over a few weeks of what we managed to condense into thirty minutes for the summit. So, and that was from, like, the hour recording we did. So that was a lot a lot that got left on the editing room floor, so to speak. So for anybody interested in that, the link is in the places.

The other thing that we created specifically for the session, but it lives on our website and will will be great, especially for this week's episode on the topic of conflict.

We have a page on our website, lovingbdsm.net/conflict, link in the places, where we're gonna touch on a lot of topics that we've done entire episodes on, where where we just deep dived into the minutia of that specific topic, because they're all parts of where conflict comes from and what causes it and what you're gonna do about it when it happens and how to handle it and all that. So there's that page. It's now on our website.

It's been on our website, and it links to different episodes where when we talk about being angry, we've got episodes about dealing with your anger as a dom or a sub. When we talk about decision fatigue, we got an episode on it. So you can use that page to go find all of those previous episodes for any of these subtopics that you want to hear more about or know more about. So there's all that. Now we can actually talk. So I broke this up into two sections for this first,

episode in the series Okay. Which is what conflict can look and feel like. Mhmm. And then as many of I could think of, and I'm sure you'll add to whatever I've missed, and then y'all will have your own, sources of conflict, which many of them are sources of conflict in any relationship and some are specific to power exchange. But we're gonna we're breaking it down like this. We're this I feel like the series is

important. I I felt like the session was necessary for the summit because one of the biggest lies people tell themselves when they get into power exchanges, if I just do everything my dom wants, this will be perfect. Or if my sub just does everything I ask them to do and I can control every single moment of this relationship, nothing bad will ever happen and we will never be miserable. We will never be mad. We will never be hurt. Lies. Those are lies.

We are people. We are humans with our own wants, needs, feelings, traumas, stuff we gotta deal with, and conflict is inevitable. You have not done power exchange wrong if you are a submissive who is pissed off at your dom because why did they do that stupid thing they know they shouldn't do? I don't know why either to is human. Okay? You are not failing a power exchange. If you as a dom, look at your sub and go, I thought they were an intelligent human being. What has happened to them? Right?

Like, you don't say those things to them. We're not talking about being harmful, but we all get to have those thoughts in our head about people we care about because conflict happens. Because? Because. It will happen. Now in a in an ideal world, you go through the conflict, you learn from it, you work hopefully, you work through it together and you don't have to deal with that kind of conflict over and over again.

Certain forms of, like, going at one another, if it's happening all the time, that's a sign. Like, what are we doing here? Something's not working. But just to have a moment where you are upset with your partner or they are upset with you does not mean that you are doomed and that this is all failed. This is part of it because it's a relationship. People interacting with one another no matter how much they might care about one another will a 100% get on each other's nerves. Okay.

And that can cause conflict. So that's my lecture that I I feel is necessary for all kinksters to be reminded of, especially newbies. So let's talk about what it can look and feel like and I'm just going to name what I listed and then okay. So there's anger. I think that's the one most people think of. You think of conflict, you're pissed off. You are mad at the other person. There is sadness to feel hurt

or and hurt feelings. Those those sort of not it's not anger, but it's still a negative emotion that that can be it's very rare that JB hurts my feelings, but when he hurts my feelings, it's always unintentional. But I'm gonna have some deep sorrowful feelings before we can have a conversation about it. Guilt or shame? Guilt is usually about something you did, and in that case, the other person might be the one with big feelings that it Or didn't do. Or didn't do. And shame is usually about how

you're internalizing your feelings. That those are very broad definitions for nuanced topics, but in general the, you know, as simple explanations. And shame is one we don't really like, shame's not a good one because it's like it's internalized now. It's about your viewing yourself and your self worth, but when you have those feelings, it's either happening it's happening for all kinds

of reasons. One of those reasons can be something that was said to you by a partner, something that they did that triggered this feeling, brought it out, whatever. And sometimes you are having these feelings and then you react upon those feelings, which might not be your actual reality. You are feeling shame about something you did or did not do and you are lashing out at your partner. Guess what? Guess what? We now have conflict. Right? But lashing out at your partner is one

of those. You don't, you know, you don't take criticism well or you feel like you interpreted a question that was asked as criticism or as an accusation instead of the question that it was. Or you just haven't your communication skills are real rusty or real new or just real damn bad and that's what comes out of your mouth. Right? Withdrawing from your partner. I am the queen of this one. If I am in if I am upset by something or I interpret something going wrong, it is I'm real quick to get real

fucking quiet. I know nobody ever believes it when I say that I can get quiet. It's true. But it's actually a source of what the hell is wrong most often. And that's not good either to withdraw because now we've got a lack of communication, and that's not gonna help. No. What say you about the what conflict looks and feels like regard we hadn't gotten to what causes it, but, like what it looks and feels like. A lasher outer. Yes. I am. I'm a withdrawer. Correct.

That's not good when you're both pissed off by it. No. No. No. No. It's it's a bad combination in that, in that aspect. Yeah. Yeah. Not But, you know, like I was gonna say earlier, when this one goes quiet, there's some serious cock happening. Like, I have all kinds of reasons I might go quiet, but one is usually I am I'm feeling big negative feelings Mhmm. That I don't feel safe to express, I don't want to express. I know that if I express them, she will not do it submissively.

I have my own, you know, childhood traumas of, you know, that go with that of why I would not feel like I could express myself or that it's not safe to express myself. Those are things that I'm working I don't I don't think there's a better or worse, but as a person who does withdraw and who is triggered by being by loud voices and yelling, the fact that JB is a lasher outer and we are still together just proves you can get through things and you can learn how to navigate these

things because Yeah. He will raise his voice and he's not even mad at anybody. And I'm over here having, like, a full body jolt of

what is happening. But when we're going back and forth with one another, it it is very easy to misinterpret what the other person means by what they're doing or saying or the tone of their voice or the lack of communication and then we just sort of add our own personal stuff onto what we think that means and now this moment where we literally just didn't understand what the other person was saying becomes this, like, gnashing of teeth, go to separate corners,

having whatever feelings you're gonna like, when I when he gets loud and it sounds to my ears as aggression, I have one of two responses. When I'm feeling real safe and real with it, I'm loud back. Mhmm. You don't no. Well, I'm not doing that. But when I'm not feeling that way, and that will have nothing to do with what we're going through, what the topic is. It might just be whatever is going on in my weird head today.

When I withdraw, it there's a fear element that is not anything about what JB just said or did. He didn't cause it. It's my own stuff, but I'm still reacting from that place. And now this very simple thing happened today, and it was very small. It was over in a blip. It's not a a conflict in the long drawn out way I think people think of it. JD came in to tell me something, didn't use words. He was pointing at a thing while he had earbuds in so he couldn't have heard me anyway. My I had not

been focusing. I did not even know he was there until he started making noise. I was so unaware that there's anybody in my space that when I turned to him, I didn't immediately, like, my focus didn't immediately switch to him to understand what I was looking at. And so we're both getting annoyed with one another because not I can't understand what he's saying. He can't understand why I can't understand.

It was thirty seconds. By the time it was done, I knew what the hell he was trying to tell me, and we were both like, well, whatever. We went up to our separate corners. And see, I came I came at it and and this was my fault under the assumption that this was something we had talked about a while back and that you should just know what it is that I I meant. You pulled a me. You started that conversation in your head and you only looped me in at the At the very end. Back end of it.

I do that to him all the time. I mean, truly, I have started a conversation from my brain to my voice in mid sentence before, and that's why we need to buy lactose free milk was I still remember that. We're in a parking lot in Walmart. Can I can barely remember what it was on the front side that I was thinking about, but I because you looked at me like I was a crazy

person because I just randomly said that? So communications problems are are big source of why there's conflict, and we will get to that. But, you know, I think a lot of times we think of conflict and we talk about conflict as some long, drawn out thing. Maybe it's hours or days or weeks before you resolve it. And some sometimes and sometimes it's these blips in the day where one of you misunderstands

the other. One of you is in your feelings about something completely separate, but a thing has triggered you or a thing reminds you of that or, you know, your partner doesn't come at you in a way that your mind and body can handle in a moment, and you have feelings. And those feelings, if they are not understood and or resolved, you know, then we we get the long term conflicts that will fuck up the power exchange, will fuck up the relationship. One way conflict can feel like resentment too.

And resentment comes we've done I think we've done an episode on resentment. I have been feeling my own little twinges of resentment. I I guess sometimes it's a good thing that I'm super introspective to the point that it's, like, probably unhealthy, but whatever. Because I will feel resentful over a thing that my brain is lying to me about and saying, well, JB doesn't have to book, and JB doesn't go through it, and you do

all these things. And it's a big fat fucking lie because if I could step outside of my own, like, resentfulness and look at the world, like, clearly, I'm like, okay. Yes. There are things I I that need to be fixed or need to get a little bit better so I can let go of some of what I'm carrying, but it's not because JB is a super bad person and made me feel resentful, thankfully. Are there those types of interactions? Are there those types of relationships? Of course.

But in that case, I'm walking around with resent resentment. He says, like, a perfectly innocent thing. And now I'm clenching my jaw because I'm trying to remember that the first rule of power exchange is I will speak with respect and what I am thinking and what I am feeling are not respectful. And it comes from a this misplaced resentment or this not even misplaced. The the resentment is real, but the reason for it, I'm projecting. I'm not actually dealing with what the

problem is. Right? And resentment can be a feeling you have because of conflict and it can cause conflict. There will be a few things when we get to what causes conflict that are both feelings and, you know, actions and things that happen to create conflict. And so, yeah, sometimes they're over in thirty seconds and sometimes you're still thinking about them ten years after you've been together and it's been over and done. I was in a marriage like that where a

thing sounded like it was being resolved. We kind of made the motions and said the right words of a thing being resolved, the conflict being resolved, and yet I was the absolute bitch that was a 100% bringing it up again. Now I was bringing it up again because it was a pattern of behavior, and that's a whole other conversation. But, you know, so that that's that's what comp conflict can oh, and I I can't even describe all the ways conflict

can feel. Oh, yeah. Because it's gonna be personal to you and what bothers you and what triggers you and what your partner does or doesn't do and, you know, how that relates to what you do or don't do and how you handle things and what you say and what you don't say. So it's very personal. You're watching your cat Yeah. Scoot through here. Yeah. I don't know what onyx it's onyx. She probably will not jump up any any laps, so there'll be no onyx sightings today.

Anything you would add to what conflict looks and feels like on the internal side? Okay. Now let me get to my really long list. Oh, boy. Sources of conflict and power exchange. Now let's be clear. All of these thing most of these things are any and all relationships. Doesn't matter the flavor. Some are very specific to power exchange. I'm gonna start I'm gonna go out of order of my own freaking list. I'm gonna start with the stuff that is, specific to power exchange because

k. You go ahead. I'm gonna see if I can get her You're gonna go. Pacing around. Yeah. And there was kind of a sighting of JB's kilt. Podcast listeners, you should come to the YouTube channel to maybe see JB's kilt. Not at a good camera angle. But here we go. I don't wanna start because I want you to be here to be listening to me. K. So you can, I was right? She bolted for the door as soon as I opened it. She wanted out. Okay. So I called this disagreements.

Any relationship kind of disagreements is not about what but let's be specific to to power exchange. The disagreement that a sub has with the decision their dom makes, that I don't think any new sub is prepared for the first time. You're like, what the hell are they thinking? Why are we doing this? I wouldn't do it this way.

And then the flip side of, you know, doms who are not happy with, disagree with what a sub did or didn't do, what they think their sub should or shouldn't do, whether that is about negotiated rules and expectations, or it's just like, what are you over there doing? Like, it's something you couldn't even think, oh, we should probably have this conversation. Don't do that or, you know, please do this or whatever it is.

Generic disagreements, yes, exist in power exchange. And then there are the disagreements where it's specific to your power exchange. It's been a long time since I haven't agreed with a decision you've made. And and I I don't remember what it was. It's been literal years. I do remember how how you resolved it or how we resolved it. You I was honest with you and said, I do not agree with the decision you're making.

And the conversation we went back to, which is, what what's the outcome if you're wrong? And the way you did did was not like a life or death thing, it was not like we're going to waste thousands of dollars, it was a low stakes thing, but prior to being in a power exchange, prior to being a 20 fourseven power exchange, prior to actually attempting to share my life with another adult, right, I had had a few years where I

was making my own damn decisions. I had a whole marriage where I was making my own damn decisions, but whatever. So I had I we had been in agreement on so much that I never really had to think about it. And then there came this time where it was that is not a decision I would have made. That's not the way I would have gone. The way we resolved it was you, I think, asked and you or you said, let's talk about what happens if I'm wrong. What happens? Like, what's the worst thing that

could happen? And, also, the other suggestion that I'm not taking, the thing I'm not doing, we can just do. Like, it was it was a low stakes thing. This was not like Right. You know? Right. Well, there was no children from burning buildings. Yeah. I know. Or or, you know, hinging on financial disaster or anything like that. Right. There's nothing like that. So And that that was how we ended up resolving it.

Right. What that taught me I don't think I can't think of a time since then where I've outright disagreed or just did not like a decision you made. Beyond the whiny baby girl version of me who's not ready to go to sleep, I don't care if my eyelids are half closed. I'm not ready to go to bed. Beyond that. Beyond the playful stuff. Time to roll over, baby. Right. Right. What we learned from that was when we are talking about a decision being made, that is part of the conversation.

JB will say, this is the direction I'm thinking of. Here's the outcome of that. Here's the worst case scenario. Here's what we can do if it doesn't work. And sometimes I've been the one to say that he's making a decision, but he's concerned with making the right decisions. A lot of responsibility to put on somebody's shoulders, and I'll say, okay. Here's what would happen if it goes wrong. Here's what we can do

if we need to pivot. And that just became part of our negotiation process so that by the time he makes a decision, I'm in the loop. I don't feel like I've been blindsided with anything, and we both know what the alternative is, you know? I mean, I think we've been fortunate that when we have decisions like that, they've mostly worked out. Yeah. But as with all parts of life, we've just gotten through whatever it was. You know, whatever we thought it would go this way, and then it went off the

fucking rails. Well, we just went off the rails with it and figured it out. Right? But that is a that is a real source of conflict. And I think I think it shocks the shit out of folks in a new power exchange or who are new to dominance or submission because there's this fantasy we have in our head of if there's somebody else just making the decision, all will be well and there I trust

them so I can just let them. Or for a dom, it'd be like, if I have all the control and we can just do everything I want, it will all be okay and sometimes. You know? And I think that there's also because this isn't about rules. It's about, I think, behavior. I go back to the when a dom is like, what is my sub doing or not doing? Right? That I I think they should I think they should behave this way. I think they should their demeanor should be

this way. Those are conversations to have to be negotiated. If it upsets you or bothers you to see your submissive do a thing or behave in a way or whatever, that's it don't hold on to whatever feeling it is that it creates for you. That's a conversation because it's either you'll negotiate a path through or you'll find out there's an incompatibility incompatibility or whatever. But, yeah, it can it can

be jarring. Yeah. You know, and I think it's often I think it probably happens most often that that jarringness, that jar ness, that draw whatever however I say that feeling, when you're coming out on to the downhill slide of new relationship energy. Because when everything is pretty and shiny and perfect and new, first of all, it doesn't mean conflict doesn't happen. It means that it gets waved away or gone, oh, it doesn't matter or oh, maybe I'm just misinterpreting.

And people are like, this feels so good. Nothing can make it feel bad. And that's not true. So I do think some conflict gets, ignored or or disregarded in new relationship energy that probably shouldn't. Not that there's necessarily awful stuff, but sometimes it's these little nagging things that once you are not in the honeymoon stage, you're gonna be like, oh my god. This is really fucking annoying. Why does this keep happening?

But for for you to feel it that first time, it means you're out of new relationship energy or you're coming out of it. And if you have, you know, thought had nothing but hearts in your eyes for six months or however long, and now you're like, are are they is one of us an idiot? Like, what is happening here? And you will somebody you love and cherish and respect with every fiber of your being will do something, and you'll go, what is wrong with that? The key is not to maybe say that.

That's a thought to be inside thoughts. Ask me how I know. But they'll do something and you won't understand why they're doing it or you'll think it's new and it was just you never had the opportunity to see them do that before. So you could develop an opinion on why did they do that? Why did they act that way? Why did they react that way? Why did they behave that way? I don't like that. That's a that's a place to to start the conversation.

Mhmm. I'm sure I do things you don't like, and you have questioned Well, you know, one of the one of the things I think I believe that, in the beginning Mhmm. Was a bit of a source of of conflict for us Mhmm. Was someone who was like, oh no that's not the way you do that. You have to do it this way. Yeah. And, and and it took me a hot minute to get you to realize there's, I'd had to have I'd had to have iron control over a life to keep it

afloat. Yeah. And if it didn't get if I didn't do it the way I did it, it didn't get done at all. And that was that's real fucking hard to let go of. That's real fucking hard to let go of. It you know? Yeah. I I remember the first time I didn't say anything when you were loading a dishwasher, and then the dishes came out clean. And I went, it's fine. It's fine. Yeah. When I am All roads lead to Rome. You know? When I am having what I would call a good brain day, the mental health is

doing mostly okay. The whatever I however I'm wired is, like, you know, all synapses are firing. I am I'm actually very laid back about that kind of stuff because I I see that, and I understand I have the the maturity to go, yeah. Okay. It doesn't matter that you do it differently than that. On a bad grain day, you would think the way the dishwasher gets loaded is necessary to make sure Is rocket science. To diffuse a bomb. Okay? I'm up there.

And for me not to constantly feel annoyed for no fucking reason or to start an argument for no fucking reason because then I'm gonna be in trouble because I probably wasn't very respectful and I'm trying to be a good girl. I really truly am. I have to sometimes do override my own initial responses to stuff. I have to have the the thing in my head, the recording that goes, It's okay. This doesn't actually matter. Or, It's okay. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. And I don't FEEL fine. The jaw

is clenched. But I'm like, I'm literally saying, THIS is not a thing worthy of an argument that won't even matter five minutes from now. It literally won't matter. But did it take me a minute to get there? Sure shit took me a minute to get there. And of course there I am questioning, let's say it's the dishwasher, and I that point I'm questioning JB as a person, but now at because of the nature of our relationship, I am questioning who has a dom who is making decisions to do things.

That's its own. That's his own conflict source. That's his, like, whoop. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Okay. I've got back to my list. Okay. Then another one, two, that are specific to power exchange. There's breaking the rules. Typically, that's a submissive who has rules that they've agreed to, tasks they said they've done, whatever, and they don't do the thing they said they would do or they do the thing they said they wouldn't do. And your dog gets to have feelings about that. They

will have feelings about that. Sometimes those feelings are like, okay, this is a learning opportunity. Let's talk about it. And sometimes it'll be the fifth time you've done it in some given amount of time, and they're like, what the actual fuck? Ask JB. He knows. I'm not I'm really not anymore bad at that. When I forget to do a thing or don't do a thing properly, you can actually see why that has happened. You can see everything going on around me.

And, like, oh, there was no way her brain was gonna keep up with that information. No. But in the beginning, I've never purposely broken a rule. Like, that's not my vibe at all. No. But I have I have had my moments. How how did they they make you feel? How what went on in your what goes on in your mind when I, like, am the fuck up? I think for me, the the depending on what it is, there's the feeling of disappointment. Oh, God. I fucking hate that feel. I hate that. I hate it.

Yeah. Okay. That that's that's the biggie. That's the biggie. Mhmm. I I would imagine I I have not put you in a situation that I know of, and I don't know if you've ever had a partner who does. But when it happens those first time or two, it's disappointment. Mhmm. But there would come a point where you'd be like, what the actual fuck? Right? Yeah. Yeah. But I I have not thankfully, I've not ever been in that situation with anybody. Mhmm. So I really can't

Yeah. I think for anybody out there who's like, I I skipped past disappointment and I'm I'm just pissed off. That's valid. Yeah. What you do with that anger is what matters most. Right? Like, are you berating a person? Are you are you making them, feel bad? Are you causing shame? Or are you using your adult self to have an adult conversation about what the hell is going on? Right?

The other half, this can be either dom or sub, but it happens I see it more often with doms, and that's breaking promises. I'll text you. I'll call you. We'll do this. Now subs can be that way too where they say they do a thing, and then they don't do it. In the course of Power Exchange, it tends to be from what I've seen from the outside looking in for other folks. It's with a rule or a task, whereas for a dom, it's a thing I said I would do, I'll be your fucking dom. I'll be the

dominant. And then you just fucking don't. Guess what? You keep saying you're gonna do a thing and then you don't fucking do a thing first, you're losing the person's losing trust and faith in you. Big. Huge. Second, now they're having their feelings about it. And I don't know. Will those feelings be sad? Will they be disappointment? Will they be anger? Will they be frustration? I don't know what they'll feel, feel, but

they're gonna feel something. Sure. Because you you know, there's there's expectations that haven't been met. Mhmm. Mhmm. K. Yep. You know, and there's yeah. Yeah. I mean, you you are whether you mean to or not and there are solutions to this. Right? Like, Like, everybody's human. It happens to people. Right? Like, you say you'll do a thing and then something comes up. But do it often enough and they lost faith in you. Right. You're eroding that. Yeah. There's there's the thing, you know.

Life does happen. There are times things happen that are out of your control. Yep. But when it becomes a constant thing Mhmm. Then then there's problems because yeah. Then then you're eroding that trust that you built, you know, the the responsibility of being big d. Mhmm. You know? So so there's a lot of things that are Yeah. You are wrapped up in all that. You are eroding somebody's ability to believe you are who you say

you are. Mhmm. Now the key to that, if something's happening that is beyond your control, and is the most boring answer and the one we give every time, it's communication. It's communication as soon as possible before, during, after. It is being upfront with there are times in my life that my job I I got I got custody of a kid and I gotta be a parent. My health, my whatever whatever. This could get in the way and here's here's what I'd like us to do about it. And this is now it's a problem

solving thing between the two of you. How do you maintain the responsibilities that you have agreed to take on while allowing yourself to be the full fucking human you are, which means that sometimes other things have to take some level of priority while also, you know, not letting down your partner. And it's a tough balancing act when there's like shit going on. Quite frankly, reasonable people just wanna fucking know what's going on.

Reasonable people can be very understanding if in all other ways you're mostly doing the things you say you'll do and there's this one thing where there's a problem. So sometimes you find out it's an incompatibility. This is like, I need this thing that you cannot do consistently. That

happens. Sometimes they're like, oh, well, maybe we can get creative together and there are other ways to do this thing or there's other things that we can do instead of this thing you can't but if you were just saying you'll do a thing and not doing it over over, there's everybody has their own personal breaking point. I'm, you get one or two chances with me. You really do. Because I just don't trust easily. And once I don't feel like I can trust you to do the thing you said you would do,

what am I here for? Like, there's nothing nuh. It's real hard to get my trust back once it's gone. Other people have a longer a bigger threshold than that. They can handle are are willing to handle multiple times or whatever whatever. Cool. Cool. But yeah. That you know? And I think when you break your promise, somebody's gonna somebody might their response might be to be very sad. Somebody's gonna be pissed off. Somebody's gonna just

be disappointed. Somebody's gonna be resentful because they're keeping up with the stuff they said they would do. Right? There's lots of things that are felt in conflict. Right? Let me see on my list. Did I have anything else that I felt was specific to power exchange? No. All these other things can happen in so many ways in in relationships. So let's start with not listening to your partner. And I don't mean for subs, this could be your Dom told you to do something and you just didn't.

I put that kind of under the what a sub does or doesn't do that they're kind of not supposed to because I told you to do something. The agreement was you'll do what I tell you to do. Now but, like, sometimes there's just not the not listening because you're so stuck in your own fucking head about what you're thinking about and what what you're mad about and what you wanna bring to this discussion and what's got you kinda pissed off that you just you

aren't listening. Or your partner is trying to tell you something deep and meaningful and you're you will not focus on them. You will not give them that care and attention. I would tell oh, my mic. I would tell a person who just who they're trying to tell their partner something to be meaningful and they don't have their partner's full fucking attention to save the time for that conversation. And or you're gonna have to say to

make it clear that this is serious. And if they cannot give you their focus and attention, you you are gonna go, serious. And if they cannot give you their focus and attention, you you're gonna go that's like this this moment is over. Maybe not

the relationship, but the moment's over. But if you agreed to have this deep conversation and this person is trying to to tell you something that they feel like you need to know, and you're just clocked out, and you're not admitting you're clocked out, or you're pretending to listen, whoo. So they're gonna find out. They're always

gonna find out. Do not not think you can fake your way out of there because, you know, you're gonna repeat the behavior that they were trying to talk to you about before or you're not gonna do the thing that they you, without listening to, agreed to do or, you know, something's gonna be repeated that shouldn't have been repeat. Something's gonna fucking happen that shows you did not listen. So in the moment, if they can't tell you're not listening, it might not be a source of

conflict. But later, when they fucking figure it out Mhmm. Oh my god. How many of us have had relationships, kinky and non kinky, where we're like, did you did you hear a word of what I said? Did you even care? Because when you're not listening, it's just this is what sucks for those of us who struggle to maintain focus. I did not always used to be like this. I'm very much like this now. Your lack of focus because your brain's just like, I can't do it. I can't do it.

Looks like not caring to a partner if, and again, you're not communicating what the fuck is going on with you. Do you wanna know how much conflict can be resolved before it happens with a little bit of, like, let me just be clear with you and honest with you and tell you a thing. It's usually we don't have the conversations till after we have pissed each other up because I I mean, JB has had to relearn. We've been together we've known each other fourteen years now almost.

Yeah. Been together thirteen. He's had to relearn me. I don't always he has to know that he has my focus because it will look like I don't give a fuck and actually my brain is playing a song in the background and that's all I can fucking hear. I wasn't always like that. I used to hang on every fucking word he said to the point he was like, okay. That's a little intense. Could you back off? And now I'm like, oh, I'm sorry. And yet I've become the

same way too Mhmm. To a certain extent because I can get so wrapped up in what I'm doing, and I'm maybe even five or six steps ahead. So We created a sick a sim a key word Mhmm. For him so that I knew that I could talk to him when he was focused. Because we did have points of of contention between us because I would start talking and I thought I had his attention and he clearly was not listening to me. And if if I go It was not good.

If I focus, you I mean, you know, if I focus on something, nothing else is it exists around me anymore. Yeah. And I can, you know, I can sometimes have that, but mostly, it's whatever tab on my brain have is playing music as well. So what we did was if I needed to talk to him and I was like, this is not a passing thing. This is this is the thing I'm I meet I need your focus for. I would go green light, and then the question, is your green light on? Which would be go, which

would be Mhmm. You have my focus. And sometimes and, look, the baby girl in me did not like to hear that, no. His green light was not on. I needed to wait a minute. Okay? But it was on us. She would go, not yet. Give me a few minutes. Now it was on both of us to actually make sure that that give me a few minutes happened. You know, I didn't I had to remember that there was a thing I wanted to

tell him, which it's very dangerous now. I might forget the very important thing I wanted to tell him, which does fucking suck. Back then, if he had just wandered off after those few minutes and forgotten that I was sitting over here waiting to talk to him, it would have hurt my feelings. Mhmm. The first time, I probably would have laughed it off. Second or third time, I'd have been like, what the fuck? So we both had our responsibilities in that to make sure

we came back to it. But creating that system so that I knew I had his full attention, I could tell him whatever I needed to tell him, and we went from there. But any even now, anytime I've ever tried to talk to him without his full attention, I get very fresh I get very frustrated. Probably in an outsized manner. It's probably too big of a reaction for what it is. That's on me. But, you know, we haven't had to use the green light thing in a while, but I've become more observant.

Now that he's got hearing aids, that's been the hardest part with the listening thing. Now that he's got his hearing aids, I have to be able to read is is there something on his phone playing directly into his ears? Because he can't he's not hearing me. He's hearing what's ever in his ears. Then I also have to be aware. Did he just take his hearing aids out? He can't hear anything, especially if I'm on the bad ear side. Right? And so I have to be more

patient with myself and with him Mhmm. Because those are those are things that are are gonna make it harder to, for him to even hear me let alone listen. Right? And I I know for me, you know, I know for me, you know, having hearing aids has been amazing. I'm so we went into debt for it and I have no I'm not upset about that debt. And and and Worth every penny. And nor am I. Right. Okay. Because it it brought things back to me that I didn't even realize had been slipping away.

It it has been a double edged sword though because the the new hearing aids connect to a lot of them to the phones. Mhmm. And if there's something on the phone playing Right. You're not gonna you're not gonna hear anything coming out of my phone anymore because it's all piping into my ears directly. Right. And so that that's it's both a good thing and a bad thing. Mhmm. And I I found myself getting so frustrated, unfairly because you weren't doing anything wrong.

It it's just a limitation of the fact that your ears are artificial at this point. Bionic. Bionic. That I felt my response was I'm not saying anybody else has to respond the way I responded, but my response was to be the one to pay attention. Right? I am getting annoyed at JB for a thing that is through no fault of his own. So I could keep getting angry or annoyed or cranky about a thing he can't control, or I could just pay closer attention and try to have a sense of humor about

it when it doesn't matter. Yeah, I still misread and I still don't see it. On the flip side, I don't have the ability to focus the way I used to. I've gotten better at admitting when I lost focus and I have to go, I'm so sorry. I need you to rewind that back. Can you tell me again? Because typically, if I am locked eyes with JB, I I'm I'm listening. I'm focusing. But not always. Not always. Because sometimes you get caught up in okay. Am I am I staring at

the person correctly? Or, oh, look. There's this thing over his head. We should probably I didn't I used to be able to, like, hold on to control of my focus. My mind was a steel trap. Like, I was there was also the I'm so desperately loving JB, and I'm gonna try to be the best ever, and this is the best relationship I've ever been. And he gets all of my attention. And he is the best relationship I've ever been in.

And I do love JB so much, but also there comes a time, I think, when sometimes you just I don't know. Like, that starry eyed version of me, she is tired. She she's trying to take a nap. This version of me, the the very unmasked, feels very safe Mhmm. Is a gremlin. Version does not is not having that. And so I allow myself to feel annoyance, but I also my point is Mhmm. I'm not always listening like I should be.

I've had to apologize for that before. I've it's it it I feel shitty when I'm like, this man was just, like, baring his fucking soul, and I couldn't tell you the last three sentences he just said because my mind wandered. That's been on me to have to sort of relearn how to maintain my own focus. But whether it's a you don't give a fuck, and if you don't give a fuck enough to listen to your partner, what are

we doing here? Or if there is a thing that is impeding you from being able to listen at the drop of a hat, like, you need you need a a signal to let you know, okay. Focus here, or you know that your mind can wander. Those things are not your fault. You're not a bad person because there's a thing that makes it harder for

you to listen. But if you know that is a source of conflict and you know you struggle with it, it is ideally between you and your partner to figure out how do we work around this. How do we make sure that this isn't a source of conflict and contention between us. I am learning that very late in life. I mean, I don't know. Maybe I just spent a lot of time pretending I listened and I got lucky, or maybe I just was, like, weirdly hyper focused when I knew I needed to

be paying attention. I don't know what it was. I just don't have it the same way I used to. I just don't. And I don't like how it feels. It sucks. Especially if JB looks disappointed in me because that's what he's feeling if he realizes I did not listen to him and I didn't take in what he was trying to tell me and I didn't give him as my attention and I don't want him to feel disappointed in me. I don't like how that feels. So that is a source of there's so

many y'all. That's a source of conflict. Stress. We've We've done entire episodes, so many episodes on stress. Stress will fuck up. Oh, yeah. Your life, including how you handle any sort of, like, small small or big discomfort or bone of contention or misunderstanding. That, you know, that's and and that's the thing with stress. Oh. Okay. You know stress stress in and of itself is is horrible. So bad. But stress has this magic ability to take a molehill

and turn it into a mountain. Yes. Everything feels bigger. Yeah. Mhmm. Mhmm. Because what stress does to your body and your mind. Right. You know, and it'll be it'll be whatever stress you're going through. You know, we have we are still kind of finishing up running the gauntlet of financial stress. You know, worrying about keeping a roof over your head, that's a biggie. And in Mhmm.

In the year of our lord 2026 when gas prices are what they are and tariffs haven't fully gone away And what is happening in the world and everything's more expensive and rent is higher and home insurance is higher and car insurance is higher and property taxes are going up. It doesn't matter what kind of home you have, you pay more for it. Financial stress is huge and it will fuck you up and nobody's immune to

it. Yeah. And I, you know, I'm just I'm just gonna say the financial stress, you know, while we have come miles ahead. Mhmm. Okay. You know, there there are times we still sit and look at us all, you know, we're we're working harder, we're we're doing better, but yet it doesn't feel so. Yeah. You know? And then and then you have the the people coming on and saying, you know, Florida's in a housing crisis. Property taxes are out of control. Insurance is through the roof. We live in Florida where

all of that is times 10. Right. So, you know, that that all adds on. It's it's, you know, there are times you feel like you're on a a freaking hamster wheel. Oh, for sure. And that's financial stress. There's stress about health. There's stress about your kids. When we were dealing financial stress, I was dealing with this we we together, but I know how I am about these things. I was internalizing very deeply the stress of having, The youngest. The young he was not healthy

mentally or physical. She was not healthy mentally or physically for years. Mhmm. For years. So that was a stress. Yep. And we all respond to stress in our own ways. Mine is I either withdraw and I get very into my head or I get snappy and I'm very short and I'm short-tempered and I don't have patience for a lot of things. Snarky. Snarky. Yes. And do I have a bad habit when I get snarky? Unintentionally

talking to people. I only talk to, like, two or three people in my life, but talking to people like they're kind of a dumbass if they say something I think is wrong. Yeah. It's not a good trade. I'm not fucking proud of it. I have I spend a lot of time with apologies when it gets bad. I have to be aware of that. But, you know, that's my response. JB's response? Short-tempered. No no patience. Zero tolerance for anything that

he could find annoying. Small things that he would laugh off, can't laugh him off. I referred to him as a a lasher outer earlier, and I think it was Silent who said, Oh, you're not describing JB as the lasher outer. I know. I'm not actually describing No. He is not a lasher outer and, like, the guy who raised me, that was trauma. JB just happens to be a person who uses a very sharp tone

even with mild annoyance. It's a little funny to listen when that eighteenth, robocall comes through and it's actually a person on the other end. Right? Like, he's calm and decent and not trying to traumatize anybody, but his first response at stress is everything he says is probably coming out angrier than, you know, than it would otherwise. And that That that unfortunately is a bad trait I carried from Probably from your own trauma. Yeah. Like and so here's the thing. We both know how we are.

And so, yes, it is our responsibility to try to, like, be mindful of that, but especially stress will fuck you up. And so we are very good at I I am quick to do it because I'm trying to manage my own, like, physical and emotional response to what I'm perceiving as danger. It's not. I'm not in danger. I know I'm safe, but tell that to my lizard brain. I'm real quick to go, Woah. Woah. Woah.

That was a real sharp tone. Right? And when I'm in control of myself, I can say it in a way that he can hear me. When I'm not, when I'm also, like, having a moment and I'm coming out snarky and sharp, now now we're probably in an argument because I said a thing he would normally be able to handle just fine, but I said it in a tone that he did not like. And now we've got a conflict on top of a conflict, and it all what's what's it all coming back to? Whatever is stressing us out.

The thing we got really good at in the midst of all the turmoil we went through for a few years there was saying out loud. One of us would say to the other, we are on the same team. Yeah. We are we want the same thing. What are we arguing about? Because, Frank, fortunately for us, we very rarely argued about how we were gonna try and resolve a thing. We were usually in agreement on that, but something else would set one or both of us off.

And now we're in some, like, argument that doesn't even make sense when we - I mean, I remember sitting in a vehicle with you. I think it was about money. I don't remember what it was. We were - and I - I'm gonna - I'm saying yelling, but not screaming. Voices were raised. I was I was stern. He was stern, but we were both loud. And it and we were going back and forth with the exact same solution just using different words. And finally, I pulled back and went, what the hell

are we yelling about? Right. We are saying literally the exact same thing. Mhmm. And and I I don't your power exchange is not, protection from that. Some people, maybe. Maybe you handle stress better. Maybe it's a lower level stress. Maybe it's not triggering. Maybe it's not triggering, maybe it's not like, whatever. I don't know. Everybody handles things differently. And I think there can be a desire for some people to use their power exchange to prevent that back and forth, that snark,

that sharp voices, that whatever. And it's like, okay, if if, Dom just stays completely in control of their emotions and the submissive just does what they're trying we're human. Like, I think some of us can maybe do that for a short amount of time. I think if you are forcing yourself to be that way through every conflict with each other, at times when emotions are running high and, like, shit is raining down around you, I would I would have questions about, at

the end of it, your mental health. Because if you are not allowing yourself to feel what you feel and hopefully not in an unhealthy way, to respond authentically, I don't know how that's healthy for anybody. I really don't. Not long term. So, you know, my personal opinion is is that the vast majority of us, our power exchange will not save us from any of this. It might make it so you you learn how to argue better. Right? If you're real good at remembering that always speak with respect rule,

I've never cussed JBL. I have I have never said some of the worst shit I could or would. Like, I'm I'm very nonconfrontational to begin with. I'm very nonconfrontational to begin with. I just I'm terrified. Thank you, childhood trauma. But it's not that I don't have thoughts. It's not that I've never had an unkind thought. My way of maintaining respect is I'm going to talk to JB like an adult. I'm gonna let my voice get sharp. I'm gonna let myself be stern. I'm not gonna be shrieking.

I'm not gonna be name calling. I'm not gonna be doing any of that shit. I had to learn that it was I could still be respectful and be firm. That was that was a thing I personally had to learn. Some people do have to learn that. Other people have to learn to tone it the fuck down, and you don't need to say the first fucking thing that comes to your head that once you're calm, you're like, I would never I I didn't actually mean that.

Guess what? Some things can't be unsaid because they can't be unheard. So but stress will stress will fuck you up. I'm telling you stress will you up. Oh, yeah. Let's see. Let me get back to my list. So having to use my phone is kind of a pain in the ass because now my my phone is No! Okay, there we go. My phone was trying not to whatever. Burnout

we've got an episode on burnout. A lot of these topics we're talking about is in that page I was telling you about at the top, my loving bdsm.net/conflict linked in the places. Burnout will make it so you don't have the energy to do the things you said you would do. So now you are unintentionally disappointing your partner as a partner, as a dom or a sub, within your power exchange, outside of your power exchange because you've just

literally run run out of steam. You got nothing, and you're going through the motions. And even if you're doing the things, the tasks, whatever, the going through the motions part, people can people can feel that after a while. Some people are gonna feel it immediately and some people are it's gonna take them a minute. But you can feel when somebody's not into what you're trying to do when they're going through the motions.

And that will make you feel things. It might make you angry, but it might make you wonder, does this person wanna be in this relationship with me? It might make you resentful because you might be picking up the slack, whether it's the emotional labor or the actual physical aspects of what a person in burnout can't do. It's not the person in burnout's fault.

Again, it's a thing you have to work with and around and find the way to keep, you know, assuming you wanna both continue to be in the relationship, how how both of you manage to get through that for with them. You know, you're kind of going through it together. The person in burnout is go and fucking throw it, but the partner in that relationship is having their own experience with it. You know? Jealousy and envy. Because so conflict will create you'll feel jealous.

You'll feel envious, but feeling jealous or envious will also create its own conflict. So one of the first times I realized I was feeling resentful in our relationship, it was I was feeling resentful because I was envious. I was jealous. I was pick a word, right. I do think they're two separate terms, but they get used interchangeably. And here's why. This was we'd we were living in the condo when I realized what I was feeling. And I was I was, I was putting in twelve, fourteen hour days,

and I would be working. I had this little little corner of the living room in our condo with this teeny tiny little desk. Cut my back to the wall because that's what I like. I could look out into the whole living room. I could see everything. It was when I moved away from working at the kitchen table. Yes. And I was working at my very first little teen tiny it was like a student desk, and I

have my little laptop. And I would be working, and Jimmy would be on the couch, and he would be playing solitaire, or he would be, you know, looking at us on TV. We didn't watch a lot of TV without one another, especially if I was working. But he would be resting. He would be taking a nap. And I would get so upset, and it took me a minute. And I'm glad I didn't take it out on you because it would not have been fair once I figured out what the fuck the problem was.

JB has never had a problem, at least outwardly. I don't know what you go through mentally in internally. If he needs to rest, he sits his ass down and he rests. If he's sick, he takes a sick day. If he is done working, he he sets a time and he's fucking done working, and then he goes off and he has leisure time. I for different reasons, some of which were some of my own fucking fault, I had not ever allowed there was never time for that. There was never I didn't

allow myself to do that. No. There were times in life that I could not allow myself to do that or small children would not survive or whatever, but and I realized I was pissed at him because he was doing a thing that I did not allow myself to do. Oh, the realization of that because he want I kinda liked having my, like, justif you know, justifiably pissed. Like, I I felt righteous in my annoyance and my, oh, this isn't fair. And then I went, fucking hell. It's not his fault.

Jimmy wasn't doing anything wrong. Wrong. He was doing exactly what I should have been fucking doing and didn't have the skills to do, didn't think I could, didn't have the faith that he would pick up slack. And so that had nothing to do with power exchange. I'm in a happy relationship. I was pissed. I was so pissed because I was fucking jealous of something I wasn't allowing myself to do and I just don't

think I'm alone in that. I don't think it'll be the same reasons other people have it, but I think other people will have that. Being able to do that, alright, like even today. Okay you know I did all my work outside this morning in the shop came in started getting something set up for this ate lunch and I was like you know what I'm gonna lay down for a few minutes Okay. You know you talk about how I now when I get sick. Mhmm. You know I rest I take care of myself.

Mhmm. Which is what we should all have. We should all be able to. Yeah. We can't all do but we should all be able to do. But that was not something I've always done. Sure. Okay because I was always you know no you you push through. Right. You know you you you don't feel good you keep going anyway. Mhmm. And it took me many years to realize no wait, I don't really have to. The world is not going to come to an end if I stop and sit down for a few minutes.

Mhmm. Now here's what's funny about that. That makes complete sense to me. And here's why I think it's important it was important for me to realize what why I felt the way I felt. And that had nothing to do with you. It had everything to do with me because in that moment of those ugly feelings, I didn't know your fucking history. I didn't it makes sense I'm knowing what I know about you.

That is that is obvious to me that you would have gone through decades of life where you just pushed through because I know stuff. But that is the the lie that resentment and jealousy and envy can tell us is that we are alone in this thing, and that person has it good. And they don't know what it's like to feel this

way. And it is a lie most much of the time, especially if you're like if your your envy of somebody that you care about is making you feel negatively in a way towards them you would not normally feel. It's your brain's lying to you on on some level, probably. Right? I still use that self talk now when, I'm I'm working longer hours than I wanna be or I I I truly cannot stop in that moment. I gotta get through what I'm getting through.

And you were taking it easy, and I tell myself, these are choices I'm making. Right? The The choices I'm making have me here at 08:00 at night because my ass procrastinated for two hours in the middle of the day. Well, I could have been done. I could have been doing what you're doing. Right? And and the thing is is until we can have those realizations within ourselves, what happens when you're feeling jealous or envious or go back to resentful. You're lashing out.

You're saying shit. You're you're behaving in a way that makes it clear to a partner that you are unhappy even if you are not telling them why you're unhappy. These become sources of conflict. You know? I I know I'm weirdly introspective, but a lot of people are weirdly introspective. I don't know how to tell somebody to be introspective. I don't know I don't know where it comes from. I don't know how to educate on that.

But, you know, taking a few moments to just try to see something from another perspective or to think about why do I feel this way Mhmm. Won't maybe stop the feeling, but maybe you're you're not being a bitch to your daddy, Dom, who just he had a cold, and he just wanted to lay down on the couch. And you're the one nearing burnout because you don't know how to take a break, and that's a you you problem. You know, here's the source of conflict. How many problems are a you problem that you

have made your partner's problem? And not because they will work through those things with you and they will support you, but because you are feeling a feeling. You are feeling big negative feelings about a thing that is a you problem, and you now just made it your partner's problem, but not in a collaborative way. In a, oh, I'm here to argue with somebody kinda way. Yeah. Mhmm. Decision fatigue and mental load. We have done

those episodes as well. Yes. My first experience with you with decision fatigue, we've talked about this several times over the years, when your sister was sick, and I just asked what you wanted to drink with your dinner, and you went, I can't. I can't do it. I can't do I can't make another decision. Yeah. Dom's get it. Subs get it. Subs get it. Submissives who have some level of autonomy to decide how they're gonna do the thing or when

they're gonna do the thing. I know for myself as a service sub, I am serving my partner and my family on many, many levels, and that requires carrying a mental load. That requires making decisions. Not every decision is made by JB. So doms and subs can can feel the the exhaustion of both decision fatigue and carrying a mental load for too long. And

it's like anything else. When you are exhausted, when you cannot be be your best self, when you cannot, you know, you can't just think your way out of it and get back to, like, good humor. It's gonna come out in different ways, and it's gonna be become a source of conflict typically because you haven't talked about it, typically because you're not sharing the load, typically because, you know, you're putting pressure on yourself that your partner may not

never want you to be under. You know, there are many of us who will walk around carrying the weight of our whole lives Mhmm. And our partners' lives and our family's lives on our shoulder and never fucking say a thing, but, man, we will be she she will I will be a bitch from fucking hell about it. And now now nobody's happy and I'm fucking exhausted. Right? We've got that episode for Exhaustion. Oh. It's a little bit like stress. Mhmm. Everybody responds differently to things like exhaustion or

stress. But in with us, some of our dumbest fucking I know. Like, mini meltdowns have been well, we are at the the end of our ability to function because we're so exhausted. I am thinking of sitting in the Orlando Airport budget rental parking lot Yes. At almost 1AM trying to find our way out of the airport and back to the turnbuck. We made the youngest cry. She was so stressed about how we were behaving. She just burst into tears. Oh my god. I felt so awful.

Yeah. That was a very long day. That that was that was a a very long day between getting out of Virginia Mhmm. And then getting back. And, you know, I had the thought in my head, you know, it's it's freaking 01:00 in the morning. We're gonna, you know, get our rental car and we're gonna get out of here. No. The half mile long line and only one person working the desk. Yeah. It was it was a rough night. And so I don't we were not genuinely upset with each other.

We were we were at we were at our our breaking point, and we lashed out at each other. Right. Had we not been so exhausted, we would have laughed through that. We would have joked through that because that's sort of our normal demeanor. Right? It was, again, like the, what do you call it? Like, almost the perfect storm that everything just kind of dealt together. Those are times when we're gonna

the wrong way. We're gonna be in it together and that we're gonna have a moment together where we kinda go at one another. Mhmm. And when I say go at one another, we are not insulting each other. We are not screaming at one another. We typically are just not speaking to one another in the way we normally would. We do not we're not there's no sense of humor. It's very sharp, things that you could normally just say calmly and it would mean nothing. You just use

a tone. My whole lot my whole childhood I heard. It's not what you say, it's how you say it. So that that happens, right? I have noticed you're pretty good at this too. If I know you're the exhausted one, I try to keep that in mind and step carefully. Right? Like, if you get if you are clearly annoyed, but I know it's because you're tired, I don't take that personally because I'm like, oh, he's fucked. Now if he did it all the time, then I'd be like, wait. Woah. Woah. Woah. Woah.

Woah. I'm not I didn't do this. I'm not at fault here. You know? What are we doing? You're kind of the same way when when you can tell I'm exhausted and especially if I'm losing my filter. Yeah. You know? You just sort of treat me in a way that's not, what's there's which word I want? I hate it. Not in a oh, I can't think of the word I want. Excuse me. In a gentle way, like you're you you know that I could snap, so

you keep your humor little bit better. You tend to have more patience because you know I'm not gonna have it. There's a there's a term I can't think of. But, you know, and we do that for one another when we are aware Mhmm. Or we think we're aware of what the other one's going. Right. And that, I think, has been the, you know communication is always the way. You know, just say, I'm so fucking tired. I can't think straight. Right? Or, you know, oh, that I was not my

best self. That was you know, I apologize for that. I'm exhausted. And this is this sometimes happens when I'm tired. I'll try to be better. Blah blah blah. Yes. Of course. But just like the more you learn your partner and you learn their moods and I I wanna be careful when I say that because there's this toxic thing of you learn a partner's mood because you're trying to prevent further trauma from having that's not what I'm talking about. And that's a whole separate thing and that's

that's no good. But in that, we are collaborative and sometimes I have a good day and I can carry some of the load because he's not having a good day. And and we go back and forth, that typical give and take of relationships. Sometimes you're just both fucking in it. Yeah. We have have been very fortunate that once we get out of that moment, we can laugh about it. And I think that helps us Yeah. Not stay stuck in the conflict, but also remember for the future, you know.

I think I have one more on my list, and it's miscommunication and or misunderstandings. You didn't hear the other person right. You thought they meant that, oh, this one gets us all the fucking time. One of us thinks the I meant blah blah blah or I thought he meant blah blah blah. And we didn't ask clarifying questions, and we just went with our assumptions. Yep. And then Use those damn damn assumptions to get you. And see and I you know, I can tell you

ask clarifying questions. But if you think you understood what the person was telling you, why would you ask a clarifying question? I'm only asking clarifying questions if I'm paranoid that I don't know what's going on or if I figured out I really don't know what's going on. Now that's been a new thing because I used to have a mind like a steel trap, y'all. And now I don't. And so I ask way more clarifying questions and

here's what happens. JB will get a little bit aggravated because he thinks I don't know exactly what she thinks happening, that I'm, like, purposefully, like, trying to, like, ask dumb quest I don't know what the thought is, but I know the annoyance. There there are when I'm when I kinda get like that, I'm like, well, what do you mean you don't understand? You should understand. You should Yeah. We have had a couple times I've gone, well, if I understood, I wouldn't ask questions.

Right. Funny how that works, isn't it? So those and I I think people will recognize the miscommunication, the misunderstanding. I mean, we all have been there where you thought somebody said a thing or you misheard or they misheard you, and now things did not go as planned or things went absolutely wrong or

right, like, whatever. And however we feel about that in the conflict, the thing that brings up some kind of negative emotion for us is based on who we are as a person, what we're going through at that moment, how that thing that happened, you know, is part of a overall pattern of other things that have happened. There's a lot that goes into why we feel the way we do when something doesn't quite go right or we're, you know, we're in a source of conflict. Something is

happening. Every time I say conflict, I always feel like anger, but that's just not the only thing you feel in conflict, you know? It's the it's probably the most common, but there are so many other things you can feel. Just even just aggravation. Like anger is not aggravation to me. I can get to angry from aggravation real fucking quick, real fucking quick.

But I think that talking about a broader view of what conflict is is important in any relationship, but especially in power exchange where there's a lot of doms or calm, cool, collected, and in control and in charge. And submissives are, you know, don't have to be meek. God knows. None around here. But you might be, you know, milder toned or respectful toner. A little bit more soft spoken. Not around here, but, you know, in other relationships, I hear that this could be soft spoken.

And to think about conflict goes against the grain of that stereotype many of us have in our head of who we think we're supposed to be within our role. Yes. And and on good days, JB is calm, cool, and collected. God knows he needs to be. If I'm calm, cool, and collected, let me tell you the apocalypse must be outside. And I'm like, okay. I've been planning for this my whole life. I can handle this. Right? If I am not calm, cool, and collected, everything's okay in the world. I'm just the

hot mess. Right? So, like, yeah. He can be that, but he's human. So he can be, you know, aggravated, and he can be sharp, and he can be stern in a way that I don't find fun or sexy or kinky. Or, you know, he we all get to have the full depth and breadth of human emotion. I think the part where power folks in power exchange relationships get it wrong is not figuring out how to try to resolve it as quickly as possible, although not always right away. That will probably

be in the next episode. When we did the the session for the summit, we spent a whole lot of time on the very first step of resolving conflict. Get the fuck away from one another till you calm down. Mhmm. That'll be next time. Like, okay. I'm feeling away. What the fuck do I do with

it? We will talk about that. But, you know and even the things I've listed as things that could cause conflict, sources of conflict, things that'll make you feel something negative, and now you're in some level of conflict either with the person or with who you think you're supposed to be within your role. Like, that up in and of itself is a thing. How many submissives out there, I cannot be the only one, have gone, oh, am I actually submissive? Because I was a real fucking bitch right

now. I I certainly did not speak to my dom the way I would prefer to speak to my dom. I've questioned myself after that. I've wondered, should I have gotten in trouble for that? We don't tend to there doesn't tend to be, oh my, consequences for an argument like that, for that kind of conflict. If I was disrespectful, once we dealt with the conflict, then we can deal with the behavior. But just me showing that I am unhappy about something or having my own feelings, as long as I stay respectful,

that's No. That no. I'm I'm having a human response. Right. And as long as I, like, can contain myself myself enough not to say something I'll regret later, we're probably fine. And the other part of that is for subs out there for realizing that your doms are not perfect, get them off that fucking pedestal because they are gonna disappoint you in small ways, in big ways, in ways that you're like, but I thought you were always the calm, cool, collected, bla bla bla bla

bla bla bla bla. I told this one right from the beginning. Don't do it. And I still did it. Because I'm gonna fuck up. I still did it. And the day it happened, he actually did not do the worst possible thing ever. He worried he had because he had not told me the truth about something and that not telling me the truth was a big fucking thing. And even though I knew logically that I should not put him on a pedestal, I had still done it, not purposefully.

And so the actual big conflict was not that he told he told me an untruth, which he didn't, you know, confessed the moment I figured it out. And it was not a deal breaker. It was not a trust breaker. It was a I get why you didn't tell me. I love you. You're a dumbass. You should have fucking told me. The the the conflict I had to contend with was him not being on the pedestal anymore, and that's my own internal struggle. I could have taken that out on him, and I

think sometimes that that happens to folks. You thought your dom was perfect. They just proved they are human and will do things you don't like or they will do dumb things. Mhmm. And they then bear the brunt of your disappointment that they're not on the pedestal anymore. That was a hard moment. I could've bashed out at him. He was ready to take it. He felt like shit because he was like, I should've fucking told you. I knew you know? And I didn't. And I had opportunity, and I didn't tell you.

You know? I guess it was a good brain day because I was like, oh, I don't like that. But it's not I'm not throwing a whole relationship away over that. But, oh, I I do feel like shit because I did have that I think you're kind of perfect feeling in my head. And none of us are. None of us are. So I could keep lecturing everybody about how

conflict is inevitable. Don't treat your partner like they're perfect just because they're doing great in a role that you need in your relationship to feel fulfilled or whatever. Also, there's no way we listed all sources of conflict. You will a 100% have thought of something that we did not list Right. Is valid is valid. Mhmm. So you can see why I'm making this a several episode series. Right, y'all? There's a lot to say, and, of course, I can repeat myself 85 times. And we have I know.

And when it comes to conflict, for as happy as we are and as strong as our relationship is, man, we could talk for hours because we've never had anything big and bad enough for us to question our relationship. Fucking percent. We're too strong personnel. Very strong personnel. I know I'm not the only sub in the world with control issues. Part of part of what I've enjoyed about being a submissive is letting go of all

this fucking control I usually have. And part of the struggle I'm currently having as a submissive is in my autonomy as a submissive and being part of a bit part business owner and being a parent, I have a lot of control, and I'd really like to hand it off to somebody. I'm tired. So, yeah, of course, I'm we butt heads. Yeah. And I you know, that doesn't make me any less submissive or him any less dominant. Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with our relationship.

It's not that we have conflict. It's how the fuck we handle it. Mhmm. And if we had certain kinds of conflict, we would be incompatible, and we we would not be sitting here today. Correct. Thankfully thankfully, we do not have that kind of conflict. And quite frankly, yes. Sometimes the only answer to how do you handle the conflict you've got in your power exchange, you're not together anymore or you're not in a power exchange

anymore. I don't want that for anybody. I want everybody to have the fairy tale happy ending that they want. Yeah. But that's not always the answer. Not with that person. But we at least have to before we can start figuring out what do we do with the conflict, we gotta at least be able to fucking name it and know, you know, what it is and what it looks like and what it feels like and what's causing it. Because how can you even talk about something until you can do that? And I'm done lecturing.

Okay. What would you say? I I said it all. You said it all. One of those episodes where my throat hurts at the end. Yeah. I could go on, but I won't. We can do a bonus section. Yay. Okay. I need to drink more of my Diet Coke. I got so caught up I was not drinking as much as it's my one Diet Coke of the day. Mhmm. So we're, like, living in a budget and being responsible with our money. Oh. Imagine that. I hate it. So, are we good? I don't know.

Keep it kinky y'all. And we'll see you next week at a new time for the livestream. Got it. Yes? Can we talk to the crickets, please? What have you been doing all this time? I've been yelling at them. Let's not let's not say I've been having a conversation with them. I've been lecturing and waiting. Do you know in my head, I always sound sharper than I am, and then I'll go back and listen. I'm like, oh. Oh, I I sound kinda nice. Okay. In my head, no. In my head, I'm a bitch. I

mean, I am a bitch. That that's it's all internal. I don't wanna talk to people I don't know. I could talk to y'all. I feel like I know you, and also, it's my Internet connection, my camera, and my mic, so I don't mind. But, like, out in the real world, I'm only a bitch in my head because I'm not talking to strangers. What the fuck? Which, speaking of that, I go to a new dentist on Friday, and in five months, I get a new, gynecologist

to talk to. That'll be fun. I'm already I'm already in my head mentally preparing the conversations for an appointment that is in September. I'm not proud of that. It just it is what it is. I've been anxiously awaiting an appointment since, what, February? Yeah. And it's in October. October. Yeah. I think it's right at or right before our wedding anniversary. Yeah. Happy anniversary. Let somebody go poke your hand. Yeah. So everybody helping me with a word that

I could not find. It was actually sort of the opposite of empathetic. Empathetic, yeah. You want your partners to be empathetic. Try to be empathetic with one another. But there's this kind of condescending thing that some people do when they're taking, air quote, taking care of their partner or they're trying to help their

partner. And condescending is not quite the word I want, but there's a word that goes with condescending that's sort of the opposite of empathetic, and I could not think of that word because there are people who will do that. Oh, you are you are, you know, hurting or you need help. I'm gonna, you know, act like I'm better than you and know more than you to tell you what I think you ought to do. And it's not the empathetic thing and it is not the the kind thing. It's not a helpful thing.

We've recently finished watching the second season of The Pit. Fucking love that show. So far, it is the only show I have found where I do not pick up my phone. I'm glued to the fucking screen. Anyway, so, bonus section. Well, I'm I'm I'm stoked. I'm I'm sitting here in my kilt. I know. I'm glad that and you look good in it. You just you look. I think you look sexy in your dusty work clothes, but, I mean, in a kilt, I mean, a girl could remember just how submissive she can fucking get is all I'm

saying. I I will say I I am very glad to be back in the gym. Yeah. I think it's been good for you. And Not just physically. Being, you know, being able to exercise in the pool Mhmm. Has been great. Hell, just getting the weight off your back. Yeah. Mhmm. I am not taking doing the class that they offer. No. No. No. They do aqua aerobics, aqua whatever. At this gym, they offer classes throughout the week. JB did take the class classes last time you were part of that

gym. It's been a couple years. Mhmm. He he became a favorite of of because it's a lot of older people. Yeah. Right? And you were usually, like, one of the youngest. Right? Mhmm. He was 60 then too. From what I remember of what you would describe of your situations, several of the women felt like there was fresh meat in that pool. Yes. Look. You can't help it because you're, like, handsome and charming and, you know, respectful, and people are drawn to your quiet, like, calmness.

I and also some look. I better be a horny old lady when I hit a certain point in life. Okay? And have an outlet for it. Okay? Just But it no. It's it's been nice because doing it on my own, I've been able to to target the things I need to target myself. And, you know, I had a hard time. I wasn't really seeing the difference even though you kept telling me there. Oh, yeah. He's like, there's no difference. And I'm watching him hike up his shorts because he'd either forget to wear a belt,

and I'm like, that's not good. You're gonna Yeah. Gonna show everybody London and France. Or he'd have the belt on. He was still hiking. I'm like, honey, your pants falling off your ass. I promise you, you have lost you are shrinking, my friend. You are shrinking. And, so, yeah, it it's been it's been working out it's been working out really, really well for me as far as that goes. I feel like you've gotten the benefits, not just the physical benefits, but the,

the mental health benefits. Yes. You've been sort of calmer. Just like you take your mental health walks. I know. It's become I mean, it it was funny when we were talking about switching the time, you know, on on Wednesdays Yeah. For the livestream. For the livestream, one of the first things I said, you know, Wednesday night, my one of my gym nights. I was like, so what time do you want? We will work around your gym night because, yes, he could he change his

day? Sure. But we're not gonna do that. This is the routine, and we're gonna maintain There's a reason for the routine. I know. Because you're avoiding the old ladies at the pool class. I know. They're sharks. Yeah. They're sharks. Tuesdays and Thursdays is when they have the the classes there in the evening. So I I actually go Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Mhmm. Mhmm. And you do get cranky if you can't go. Yeah. Yeah. I it was funny. I had a hard time getting started.

Mhmm. It's usually the hardest part. After after I got signed up, it was it was tough taking that first step to go. Once I got past that Mhmm. It got easier and easier. And now I am upset when I can't go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'd like to get to that kind of point. I'm not to that kind of point yet. So, yeah, it's it's been it's been doing good for me, and I I've been enjoying it. Mhmm. I'm very happy for you. I'm I, I was talking about about envy and jealousy.

I am very happy for him. This man better live to be 150 for all I fucking care. We're going out together like fucking Thelma and Louise. I do not care. I will prop him up on the mantle. If I need to, he's not leaving me. All of that is true. I want him to be as physically healthy as he is capable of. Will be leaning against each other holding one another up. I might I might get her stuffed. Just I don't think you could live without her. We need them

anyway. Mhmm. So I am always grateful that if he changes a food habit, works out more, he becomes healthier. He becomes physically fitter. I fucking love that for him. But I will cry very real tears. There's so far been not a fucking thing I have done. Yielded the same results. This man stopped eating Swiss Rolls, essentially, other things. But that's basically what he did, and he dropped 10 pounds before he started going to the gym. I was like, I am so happy for you

Yeah. Also. I hate this for me. I've I've put pretty much about 75% ball sugar. Yeah. Without and you still, like, you still have indulgences. We don't completely go without. Not at all. You just you had yeah. You kinda gotten on an emotional eating thing, and I did. It got a little out of control. Mhmm. And now you got it back under control. Yep. I want him to have good brain health. I want him to be as physically fit as he is capable of being, which that's

a that's a range for everybody. Right? I the I really did not regret whatever we spent on your hearing aids when I read an article that said, folks who lose their hearing, they were hearing and then they slowly lose it and they have hearing loss. Higher chance for Alzheimer's. I was like, oh, and that's for different senses, and it's not just hearing. I think it's there's, like, your sense of smell too, which makes me a little nervous for you because you don't have a sense of smell, but

you got your hearing back. Yeah. I'll whatever we gotta do to keep this man going until I'm ready to leave this earthly plane. Okay? But yeah. I the the thing with my own envy, I we are I can express that. I didn't have to sit and fester. I could just be like, I'm so happy for for you, and I'm really sad for me. It's fine. So It's fine. It's fine. But, yeah, it it's it's gone very well for me. I'm very Mhmm. Very happy.

Mhmm. Hopefully, when I go back to see the doctor, they'll be Well, our our our primary care will be ecstatic. Yeah. She will give me side eye, but she'll be ecstatic for you. I kind of wish you had a follow-up with the GI doctor because you did all these changes because the GI doctor was like, your liver. Your liver. Right. And so it's like, okay. Well, can we get a follow-up? Is it, like, anything better? And and, you know, that's yeah. That's something I have to talk with because, like, you

know, I'm doing all these things. How do I know if I'm heading in the right direction? Right. Is anything improving? Right. Yeah. So yep. Mhmm. And, other than that, I've been working my butt off in the shop. Mhmm. I gave you a big We've been restocking left, right, and center. I got some thick sticks in the back. Just for free wood butter. Big restock on on, roughriders. Thekingcree.com.

We are gonna have a sale. I'm not trying to diminish our our revenue right now, but I think if you are here to a bitter end and you're still listening to us Mhmm. You should know there's a discount coming. I just don't know when it'll start. I'm waiting for one more product to be restocked. And I am in the process of making that. That would be the infamous Thumpers. Yep. And can I t can I mention the thing, or do you wanna Go ahead? So the original Thumper, the Thumper is very quiet.

It's very thuddy. Mhmm. We literally sold out, like, within hours the first day. We did not have enough. We will not have enough the next time because we just don't have enough wood. But we thought it was going to be an even more limited restock because Jamie's working on them now, because he uses two inches by two inches thick wood, and he had some of that wood. Two by two squares. Right. He had some of that wood, but he also had smaller wood. And we don't like wood to go to

waste. I was like, can that wood be used for anything else? Probably not. Maybe not. Blah blah blah. So I threw out the suggestion of what if we had our standard size thumper, which by the time it's turned it's like one and three quarter inch wide thick, however you want it. And it's round. It's a it looks it looks like a Billy Club is what it looks like. I was like, well, for the smaller wood, could we not just do a smaller version and have two sizes? Maybe not always. Maybe

not as a constant restock. And at first, it was like, no. No. No. And I went, okay. Because I'm not the toymaker, y'all. I throw out the ideas, but that's because I don't have to stand there and make them. Mhmm. And somebody came back and went, I've thought about it. At least every so often, yes. Because we do not we do not wood is expensive, y'all. We do not let wood go to waste around here. And we've been gifted wood from some of, you know, friends you had, and it's like, we're not letting

that go to waste. No. If we can make it into some kinky fuckery shit, we will. Yeah. I mean, I I did not think I had that many shorts. Yeah. You know, I thought I really had much more than that. But then when I really went through the pile and saw the amount of shorts, like, gotta do something. So all I'm waiting on the what is left to be restocked Mhmm. That will be restocked before sale starts

is the thumpers. Yeah. I've actually had to take them off the site because we were getting so many sign ups for when they're back at the restock notice that not everybody would purchase from it. There would be so many, we wouldn't even have

any for a sale. So What what held me back a little bit with those, when I had the old lathe I had bought what they called a steady rest it's used for spindle work when you have long when you're doing longer spindle work on the lathe this gives center support so you don't get any flex or bowing in what you're working on. So it turns right. So, yeah. Lay people like me. Mhmm. So it's round. And, did not think about it at the time when I upgraded to the new lay last year.

Which is almost paid off. Yep. When upgraded to that, did not catch right away that it would not fit right on the new lathe. And, luckily I was able to re engineer it, So now it does fit on the new lathe and and, man, I can just push forward with this stuff now. Mhmm. Yep. So, yeah, that's Never happen. I won't I don't wanna start the sale until we get some more thumpers. Mhmm. We won't be doing a diabolical stick restock until the May because that's

on our schedule. Those get restocked every couple of months. Hopefully, like evil sticks and other things might get restocked Yeah. For the sale. But though he can make those relatively quickly. So Right. I don't worry about that. But thumpers were so popular last time we put them out, and people I'm getting when I get DMs on social media for, like, where is this product, I know it's one like, we have to bust ass to get it back out. So, yeah, when we do a sale, I like to be as stocked as we can.

Yeah. So that's what we're waiting on. And with all this stuff I've been doing in the shop, I've been getting to feel like I'm a poster child for a liquid bandage. Yeah. But Came outside to the shop yesterday or you came in something. I saw your hand. You were pointing, and there was a smudge where clearly he had hurt himself. And then I saw the glossy overlay on the skin. I was like, oh, he sprayed himself with the fire that is liquid bandage. He has offered when I've cut myself, I'm like,

you're not coming near me with that. I mean, are are you trying to burn the flesh off my bones? I'm I'd rather you just pour straight fucking alcohol on it. No. No. No. I'll just bleed. Just give me a bandage. I'll just bleed. It'll be fine. I'm a good clotter. Okay? So I don't have to worry. It's fine. Okay. That liquid, baby. That is from the fiery pits of fucking hell. Okay? No. I don't care how good it is. I nope. Nope. Get that shit away from me.

Thankfully, he has not been letting me do things in the shop where I could cut myself. Mm-mm. I don't know if that's a happy accident. That's on purpose. Because even though the rule is Kayla doesn't does not work with, like, spinning blades, like, I'm not doing the saws. Things now. No. I do I am allowed to use a putty knife, and I have cut myself multiple times with a rogue putty knife. So Yep. You do have to watch me. I promise none of our DNA is on

the product, please. So I get me an alcohol wipe real quick. It looks like our DNA is gonna be on something. Okay. Yeah. It's it Yeah. This one this one ran long. Oh, I wanna go back to the live chat because thanks to the folks who try to find my words for me. It was stupidly obvious. The silent patronizing was the word I was looking for. I think I was thinking of another word adjacent to being patronizing, but patronizing was is essentially what I was looking for. Yeah. Yeah. Thank

you. That word that word I could not think of. So, yeah, I guess we can go Yeah. And be done. I'm gonna just move the camera back a little bit. So just show your kilt. Okay. My customer's name very end of the If you would like to see JB in a kilt, you have to come to this particular video, which is linked in the show notes when this episode was live for you. And just fast forward to the very end, and you'll get to see JB in a a kilt. But he does have to move the

camera for it. Yep. I can move the camera for it. Okay. Why don't you You trust me with Yeah. Go ahead. Now could I just we do the lens? Sure. But I'm not allowed to do the lens. No. No. Because we'll never get it back the way that it should have been if I do that. Now hopefully, I don't drop everything as the camera travels back. Oh, I see your knees. That should don't flash anybody. Trying not to. Yeah. It's you in a kilt. I am Back up a little bit more so we

could see more of your knee. I am I am so stoked to be able to wear this thing again. And man, when you pair it with your and you got a little butt so you like you got that skirt coming up in the back. As somebody with a butt, I know that feeling. Just saying. Okay. I'll bring it back forward. Look at me with the camera. I can't believe you trust me with the tripod and the camera. The very expensive camera. Hey. You got it right on the mark there. That's why the mark is there. So

I could get it right there. And, yes. Silent. Yes. Sir Richard is in the corner over there on the south side of the corner. Yeah. Yeah. So that would be Sir Richard of Aubergine. Aubergine. Yeah. A giant purple penis. Yeah. Oh, there I am. The delay caught up. The delay caught up. Yeah. You look so good. Yeah. Anybody with a booty knows the, the skirt that goes up in the back. Yeah.

Yeah. Me too. There's back in the day when I would wear, like, stuff like that, there were certain things I would not wear because Ah. It didn't matter if it was, reasonable to me in the front, ass cheeks to be hanging out. So what happens when you got curves back there? There's plenty of junk in this trunk. And, apparently, you've got a little junk in your trunk too. Apparently so. Apparently so. Well, guys think your butt's cute, but, you know, I'm sort of You're a

little biased, maybe? Maybe a little bit. Maybe a little bit. Yeah. I also think you have sexy legs, but I think that is, like, legit. Like, I think people who would think a body part is sexy and are into legs, I think they would look at your legs and be like, yeah. Now when you're riding your motorcycle full time Mhmm. You had, like, soccer player legs. Like, you could crush a watermelon with those thighs. I was like, I volunteer to tribute. Like, there's some I mean, that's shit.

Anyway Anyhoo. Sorry. Anyhoo. I'm being inappropriate on live streaming this podcast. Sorry. Okay. So now that you have, let everybody see you and your kilt Mhmm. We're gonna we're gonna go. Go. Thank you all for being here. Yep. Appreciate each and every one of you. Especially for staying to the bitter end where the real weird shit happens. We will see y'all next week for the live stream at a different time. Podcast

listeners, you will not notice the difference. The podcast will come out at the same time as usual. Okay. Okay. Bye. Bye.