You're listening to the Loving BDSM podcast, episode 408. Kayla Lourdes here with the one, the only, the I'm so glad you're super indulgent of me, John Brownstone. I try. Sometimes. Yep. Yeah. Sometimes without going too far in one direction. You have to maintain the balance of indulgence. I know. I guess in a way, we are maybe talking about that a little bit because this week, we're celebrating our podcast anniversary a week late because what even are dates
and numbers? Please, why have I been put in charge of them? Because I don't know them and I forget them. You maintain the online calendar. I I do. That doesn't mean I know what's on it. See, here's what happens. I take the information temporarily stored in my brain for a date or a time and I put it someplace, by putting it someplace, it leaves my mind. It's no longer there. It doesn't take up real estate. Yeah. No.
Gotcha. So just saying. Anyway, actually, what we think maybe we're gonna try to talk about is the stuff we've kinda figured out, discovered, learned, come to realize, after 9 years of requiring ourselves to talk about power exchange nearly every week of our lives. Yeah. Welcome to the Living BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, glad to have you. If you're back for another week, welcome
back. Living BDSM is produced every Monday Friday for your kinky pleasure and education, and show notes are found at lovingbdsm.net. Come back often and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite podcast app. You can also follow the show on Fetlife at lovingbdsmpc on Instagram and threads. With that handle, I will forever motherfucking hate. And that is loving d s. I'm the number one because does that sound right to anybody? Because it's not.
But it's loving d s Girl. 1. Anyway, or on YouTube at youtube.com/loving BDSM, where you can watch us live stream the podcast every Wednesday. All links are in the show notes. A big thanks as always to our kinky patrons over on Patreon, including our newest peeps, but also a special shout out to, like, the handful that have been there since nearly the beginning, like, the 2015, 2016 time frame. Yeah. We see all of you. We love all of you. But, oh, oh, the OGs. How? Why? But also how.
Anyway, we have been able to continue being weirdos on the Internet for all this time in large part because of our Patreon community, and we're grateful for everyone there. I don't care if you've been there 5 minutes or 9 years. If you would like to join our Kiki community and get access to extra content and a discord server, you can do that. Just join us at patreon.com/kayla lords. That's patreon.com/kayla lords or use the link in the show notes.
And looking and breathing and being. The pocket listeners are like, what the fuck is this? Good stuff that you should be doing. Yeah. No. I get it. It's fine. It's fine. Okay. Before we get into what will probably be a a rambly, off the wall, whatever whatever kind of week. I don't I don't even have the words for it. Let's do announcements. The first one, this episode is the episode we probably should have done last week, to actually celebrate our podcast anniversary.
August 15th is our anniversary somehow. I think almost every year. I think 17th. This year, I thought 19th. I knew there was a one. I knew we were in the teens. Yeah. August 15, 2015, this podcast began. It began with me and a shaky little voice and a tightly written script that I actually followed. Oh, how far we've come or how far we've sunk. I don't know. And here we are now. We started the podcast thinking JB will only have to edit it. It
will be audio only. 10. Yep. I will only talk for 5, 10, maybe 15 minutes. Feel free. Go ahead. Laugh. Just don't make your sick self sick laughing. That's that's no fun for anybody. So here we are. So that's what we're doing this week, and it is belated. It should have been last week's celebration. Last year and in previous years, we did big giveaways. That did not happen this year. There was another year or 2 where it didn't happen when we were in the middle
of high stress moments. We we just didn't have it in us. This is a different kind of personal moment where we don't have it in us. But next year is 10 years. Yeah. I will do my absolute best to both remember and to make it big. So, yeah. And and as a way to celebrate, we are once again sponsoring we, through our loving BDSM Etsy shop. All of our digital products. That's workbooks. That's planner sheets. That's habit trackers. That kind of stuff is for like submissive
training and stuff like that. All of that's 50% off for the rest of the month of August. Why is that on sale? Because every bit of that has been something that has come from things we have figured out through the recording of all these damn podcast episodes. So, yay. If you, are still new to power exchange and being a kingster, we recommend 30 days of d s. If and that could be new as a brand new kingster or in a new power
exchange. It's 30 different days of prompts, questions, topics to think about to break up the drinking from a fire hose feeling of getting your arms around the idea of power exchange. That's 30 days of DS. 30 days of DS volume 2 is for the people who are in established, Power Exchange relationships or who have been, like, living their kink life for a while. And it talks about the stuff that you usually don't see in BDSM 101 or the DS 101 kind of
stuff. It's the it's the more nuanced things that you might go through in Power Exchange. Same format, 30 different days of prompts, questions, whatever. You can if you're single or you just wanna do it solo, you can use it as a journal prompt. If you wanna do it with a partner, it's conversation starters. We had somebody ask if they could bring up the topics in their, like, monthly munch. I was like, yeah. Just, like, get a shout out our little workbook there for
anybody who wants it for themselves. Thank you. So there's that. And then we have d s and distance. Workbook we made last year specifically to help people who are in long distance power exchange figure out the mechanics of how do we communicate, how do we set a routine, how do we plan for visits, how do we get ourselves to where maybe we move in together or move into the same town together. So all of those are 50% off.
Our planner sheets are, like, habit trackers and daily to dos for submissives who are trying to wrap their mind around all these new things they do for their dom. And then we have a dom version so they can actually track is there submissive doing the thing that they said they would do. So that's all available on our Etsy shop. It's all 50% off through the whole month of August or the rest of the month of August, I should say. Feel free. Go forward. Have a good time. Ta da. Okay. Okay. Okay. Now
we can actually get into the topic. Oh, thank you to us for sponsoring us. Mhmm. Yes. Mhmm. Mhmm. Did I miss an announcement? No. Okay. I don't believe so. I think that's everything. In my anticipatory submission, we've had that talk that conversation before. I thought you were going to say something. I'm learning I'm usually wrong about that more often than not these days. And my brain was like, he's gonna tell me I'm I'm missing a detail, but no. No. And that is why anticipatory
submission is is flawed. It's it's imperfect. I still try it, but it's okay. Okay. So 9 years of podcasting. Now, clearly, we do not podcast every single week because we take breaks. Mhmm. There's been illnesses. There's been family emergencies. Right. So I'm not gonna say 9 years times 52 weeks. Yeah. Yeah. No. Mm-mm. But this week's episode is episode 408 of our long form weekly episodes. And then I think we're around the 60 plus mark on any shorter episodes we've ever
done. That's all that's a lot of talking about power exchange. It is. And so I'm gonna throw it to you first. Oh gosh. What is a thing that you have figured out in the course of all of this? Big, small, doesn't matter. I I think one of the things that I I learned from all this prior to us talking about DS on a regular, you know, on a regular basis and it being so entwined in our lives. There was a time I used to think that, you progressed in DS, it was like a linear Like levels? Yeah.
Gotcha. And and it's not. No. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. You know, because it's it's it's not linear because you can there there's so many different things you can do. Mhmm. Mhmm. Alright? And and you can, you know, bring in what interests you and what doesn't, you know, just, you know And you might think something is interesting, and then you try it and you go, oh, I don't like this. Toss that out, and then bring in something else that's new. Mhmm. Yeah.
Mhmm. You know, but, you know, and and definitely, you know, trying thing new things. Mhmm. You know? And, at least once, maybe twice, and 3rd time's a charm. Yeah. I mean, if by the 3rd time, we're not feeling it, or at least one of us isn't feeling it Right. It it we need to move on. Yeah. We're done here. You know, so it's, it it's been an interesting trip Yeah. To say the least. I think I've discovered and most of this isn't really about
us talking about it. It's about people listening in on the conversations. And it's a thing I've known to be true, but sometimes you need the reminder, and that is you are never ever ever ever ever, ever, for never ever the only person going through a thing that you're going through. That's true. So there are times well, see, because I second guess and doubt myself all the time. I don't I don't know if that comes across, but it's very true.
Where I'll be like, oh my god. We're talking about this super niche thing that's like it's probably only us because we're 2 weirdos with an Internet connection. And then I get the message or, you know, the DM or the response, and somebody's like, oh my god. I've been there. Oh my god. And this other way I'm going through that too. And nothing you know, there are many things that I think keep me grounded, probably keep us grounded. But that reminder about the we are all unique and special in our
own way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But also some things are just super common, and it's easy to forget that when you're in the middle of living it. And you're you're like, this is my life and and my bubble, and and all I know is is this and my experience. You know, certainly, I'm the only one, and you're never the only one, which is a good reminder to have. It's also it can be a little humbling because sometimes you're thinking you're the only one because you're that special.
Again, we're all unique and special in our own ways. Yeah. Yeah. But also, more things, even in and especially in kink and power exchange, I don't like to say things are universal because we're we all have a different experience with things, but there's a lot lot more commonality. You know? Mhmm. It might not be the exact physical thing that you do or the exact conversation you have, but it will be the feeling of of how that thing made you feel.
And sometimes it's that super niche thing you did, and you're like, nobody else was doing this. And then I'll get 4 DMs from different people going, oh my god. Been there. Mhmm. Okay. I'm not alone in the universe. Thank you. No. So what else? What else? Oddly enough, it's it's a very simple thing, but it's important. I think from doing the podcast, I realized how important it is to, you know, on either side of the slash, have empathy.
Yeah. Sure. Okay. I I think that's extremely important And, you know, because, you know, let's face it, what what we do is a lot of fun, you know, and sometimes it can be intense. And, you need to be able to, you know, be on the other side of that too. Yeah. And I think that's in scene and in the relationship.
And I think that does work on both sides of the slash because I find myself when I get stuck in my own, like, my own misery, my own annoyance, my own crankiness, thinking that I'm working harder or I'm doing all of these things. And I it in that moment, and it is just a blip, it can be easy to forget that, wait. But what is JB feeling? And what is he going through that maybe I'm not considering? And is it possible for that to be very one-sided and that's a bad a bad
situation in a relationship? Of course. But we have learned, I think, through all just just so many fucking conversations about our own relationship Yeah. That we are each feeling the same way. Like, the thing I I don't ever doubt, oh, would JB feel the same way? Does he forget think that for a moment he's doing all of the hard work around here or he's the only one miserable and not remembering to to have empathy for
what maybe I'm going through. Or or if I have forgotten a task, is he immediately getting pissed? No. He's probably you know? I think you and I have had this conversation where some the recent weeks where you, like, try to find the balance between I'm empathetic to the fact that you could not do that task versus Mhmm. But now, you know, how do I handle it Right. So I'm not creating a habit? So, like, if there were not so many examples of your empathy towards me and your understanding
Mhmm. Of what maybe I'm going through and that sort of Happy to be. This is the side of the slash I wanna be on. Happy to be. This is the side of the slash I wanna be on, but I am, a cranky bitch sometimes who will be at the sink washing a cup going well. I'm the one who's doing all the I'm not. We're a team. I know that. But in that moment, you just feel, you know, poor pitiful me who has to do everything. And I know JB's had that moment too
where he you're just doing a lot. Maybe you're stressed or maybe you're frustrated by something or so, yeah, it it it absolutely happens where sometimes there's muttering under the breath about how hard you work as an individual because you've forgotten your empathy for your partner for a second. Yeah. As long as it's temporary, I think it's okay. Mhmm. So we've talked about this many times, but the fact that we we do this
Yeah. All the damn time, I am much more in tune with whether we are connecting well or not. Yeah. Like, I I mean, I think anybody in a long term relationship, you're you can tell the vibe usually. Like, you know what your baseline is, and you can eventually get to that point where you're like, something's off here. Unless we're just putting out fires left, right, and center, which sometimes that happens in life and you just can't focus on one another.
I'm within probably a 12 hour period of knowing when the disconnect has occurred. Now early days, not even that early, like, within the past few years even, that was enough for a panic. That was enough for, uh-oh, what's wrong? Not, uh-oh, what's wrong? Our power exchange is on fire and will never be the same, but, like, what is so bad that we're not connected? And I don't know if I've just become immune to some of that or if I'm maturing. But these days, I feel the disconnect.
We talk about the disconnect. Mhmm. Sometimes we don't feel the disconnect anymore, and sometimes we just keep on rolling with it. Yeah. But the panic isn't there because I I think I've just figured out and this isn't really the, oh, we podcast about our relationship. It's more of the just the longevity of the relationship. You start to recognize that there are ebbs and flows to even that too.
There are seasons in life where you can be super into your fuckery, and then there are seasons of I I will say there you know, many times of late, the disconnect does not bother me Yeah. As much because I know we always, you know, come back around. I know. Yeah. Yeah. I I think when when it when it starts bothering me is if it
carries on too long. And I think, you know Then there's then there's I use the term disconnect, and I think that sounds like you and I are somehow, like, not playing on the same team, not happy with one another. It's really a disconnect from the power exchange, and and
it's not a full disconnect. It's not like, oh, it's turned off because the way we've set up our power exchange, my rules and routines and tasks are just baked into my, like, what I do every day and do not require, you know, JB to tell me to do the thing. It is understood that I will do it. He's gonna say something if I'm not doing it. Right? And so I always, unless I'm physically unable to, I always have
that to fall back on. Yeah. And because you just happen to be a polite human being, you, you know, it might not be in a a big de dom way, but you acknowledge the things I do. Right? Yeah. So when I say I'm disconnected, it's I still know that I'm the submissive. I still know we're in a power exchange, but I'm not the power exchange doesn't feel quite as tangible. There's not the looks. There's not the tone. There's not the you know what? And it's I can't even say it's, oh, he's not asking me to
do anything. Here's how I know when we're disconnected or when I'm disconnected. He'll give me a task, and I promise you my first thought is not, oh, yay. I get to be submissive, dad. It's like, oh, fine. Fine. And, yeah, once I do it, then I feel that sense of accomplishment that I personally enjoy. Mhmm. But, yeah, noticing that it it doesn't
the the noticing it does not linger. I notice it immediately because I know we're just we you kind of have to become in tune with your relationship if you are going to bare your soul about your relationship every fucking week for 9 years. Mhmm. I'm just I know I'm also a lot more relaxed about what do we do about it, because I know ain't nobody going nowhere. So we can't neglect that. We can't just act like that lack of connection doesn't matter. It it matters
very deeply. But I think I I think I've gotten more pragmatic that, oh, we'll get this back. We are both aware. You know, at this point, you and I, like, will just kinda look at one another, or we'll say something real quick. It doesn't have this have to be this big, deep, meaningful conversation anymore. Because quite frankly, if I need to talk it out, it'll probably become a topic, and we will talk it out. Mhmm. Yeah.
On that, for topics, a a thing that I think we learned very quickly because we started out as bloggers who were sharing our kink life that way. We learned very quickly kind of what's off limits, what what can be an immediate topic. Hey. We're going through this thing this week, and what has to be a distant memory for it could become a topic. And then there are some things that just, that's not for public consumption. The thing I find the most fascinating about that is that's never been a fight.
You know, I might ask you, hey. How do you feel if we talk about this? And you might veto it immediately, and I'm not, like, trying to make the case for it. I'm just like, oh, no. You don't. And then at this point, I don't think I've even had to ask. I've gone, yeah. We're not talking about that. That's just for us. I mean, really, if you think about it, over over the time, there's been very few topics that that have been vetoed.
It tends to be the peak stressful, deep emotion stuff that's not even really about our power exchange. It's just that because of the way we've structured our power exchange, everything that happens in our lives impacts our power exchange. So that means it's technically potential fodder for the podcast. True. And some of those things just yeah. They don't you know? And it's not you know, because I I have been asked this in the past. Oh, is it difficult if you don't
agree? No. Part of it is because we have always had the strong feeling if we can't both agree on it, then we just don't do it. Right. We were like that. We're like that with every part of our life, though. We bought this this particular house because this is the one we could both be happy with. Right? There was no, I have to twist your arm and convince you to to do what I wanna do on either side. Right? Right. We're like that about the kinks we try. We're like that about the way we structure
our power exchange. We're like that about the content we we create, the businesses we run. If we're not both invested and, like, yeah, sure. If it's a meh or I don't know or an I'm uncomfortable, then it's a no because I don't if I'm doing it with him, I don't wanna do it with him unless he's in it with me. You know what I mean? So, yeah, that's that has made finding topics or figuring out topics, like, it's it's not even there's no arguing
about it ever. No. There are times where so when your life is, content and you kinda have that almost everything is content. There are times when we're in the middle of a thing and my if I have the capacity for it, my brain is putting together an episode. My brain is like, you need to remember this moment. My brain like a sieve that doesn't remember shit, including our own podcast anniversary. Yeah. That brain is like, oh, this is
a really good point being made here. Oh, this is a lesson learned. Oh, I wonder if people have thought about this kind of thing with their power exchange. No. I'm not I'm not a completely awful human being. I'm not taking notes in the middle of the fucking note. It's just a it's just a, like, a sliding thought that's, like, acknowledging what I'm what I'm seeing and then letting it go. And if it's still in my brain later, then okay. I'll it'll it'll be in the outline or something. You know?
But that is that is the other thing. It's like, yeah, we can be in a moment and I'll be like, gosh. A good topic. We haven't talked about that yet. And, yeah, then some okay. Now this is me and my me in in in my brain. Sometimes it feels like cheating. And I don't. I I don't even quite know why or what that would even mean because it's like, oh, this thing happened on Monday. Let's talk if we're capable of it. Yeah. Let's talk about it on Wednesday.
And I think some I keep waiting I guess it's a little bit of my imposter syndrome. I keep waiting for somebody to go, how can you have a thing happen on Monday and it be, you know, thought through enough to talk about on Wednesday? Well, you have not been in this brain. I can't explain how that works to you. But it it it does feel a little bit like cheating. Like, I'm I'm groping around the unit groping. I'm groping the universe. I'm looking looking around the universe like, what are
we gonna talk about? And then a thing happens to us. And it feels like cheating. It feels like, air quote, taking the easy way out. And it's not. I know that. But the mean girl voices in my head would say otherwise. So yeah. I mean, but not everything is content. Not everything is open for discussion. But a lot of stuff is. Yeah. Like, oh, that way that you were kinda snarky to me, I can make that a topic this week. Give me a second. I okay. Let me let me let me
give you a little inside baseball here. Why do I use sport metaphors? I don't know about sportball. Anyway, the other day was it it was this weekend. I was working, doing the the doing some writing. You came before you were going to do something else. You came and you asked, is there anything you need? Do you need a drink? Is there anything I can get for you? And it was very sweet, and it was very thoughtful. And I I don't
even remember what I said now. But when you walked away and I was, mentally procrastinating for the work I needed to do, I thought about how hard it is for me, just I was thinking of me as the individual, not as the submissive, to accept to ask for help. Mhmm. And my mind started because I really didn't wanna be working on the thing I was working on. My mind's the wheel started spinning, and I was like, is there a topic in there? And that is the thing I go through a lot.
I'll have a thought about me, and I'll if I if it feels like it relates to being a submissive or how our power exchange works, I immediately go into, is there a topic here? And I think there is. And it's this idea about, as a submissive, finding it hard to ask for my dom
for help, which I have no doubt. There are doms out there who have find it difficult to ask their submissive for help outside of, like, the clearly negotiated, like, rules and tasks and things, which is really a broader conversation about finding it difficult to ask for help. And so it's sitting in the back burner of my brain because I'm like, is that simply the human condition and cannot be related directly in any way to power exchange?
Like, is it is it a thing that affects all people everywhere and does not have a special impact on power exchange? And I still haven't figured that out. But that's a little bit how the topics will go. Something is happening, and I'm, we're getting through it. We're living our life. I don't stop a conversation to go, wait. I'm having a thought about how this impacts me as a submissive and what this means for our power change. Like, it's it's just the the gears are constantly grinding in the back
of my brain. And so you wander off, and I'm thinking I think what I thought was, was there something I should have asked for? And I didn't because I really, really suck at asking for things. Yeah. Case in point, this man got up today to go get himself some water. We are right next to the kitchen. I can hear every sound. I know what that sound is. I desperately wanted water. If he had walked back in and I had said, hey, daddy. Would you mind? You
know, I'm working on something. Do you mind getting me water? He probably would have done it. I'm not gonna speak for you. I don't know which mindset was it, but he probably would have done it. But my brain went, no. He's already in there. By the time he walks back in, he's done. That would be inconvenient to him. And so I and then because I'm really weird, I waited for him to come in back to the office before I got up to go get water. Now, why
I did that? I don't know. I could have just gotten up when I thought about it. I could've just asked him. We could've been smooch smooshing over the, water cooler. You know? Oh, no. I get too frustrated with that thing. So, yes, everything is content, but no, not everything is content. Yeah. Okay. What's the thing for you? I I think because of of doing the the podcast for so long, I have, kept an eye on the community Mhmm. More than I think I would have otherwise. Mhmm. Okay?
And I love how DS has evolved over the years, how it has grown, And I see the young people coming into the community, and they are taking things and making it their own. You know, and just as, you know, from from old guard to high protocol to, you know, to to this to that to all the different modalities of of of BDSM, you know, these these young people now, because while it's while while what we do is not fully, you know, accepted by society Sure. It it
is more out there. They have the ability to to learn things at a much younger age. Mhmm. I mean, you know, I I because of what happened with myself, you know, because I was doing these things not knowing other people were doing them, and oh my gosh. I'm a I'm a weird motherfucker. I mean, you are, but but not in the way you were thinking. Right. You know, and and and they have the ability now to to gleam from
Lola agrees. Yeah. To, you know, to to glean from past experiences now of of of folks in the community between blogs, between podcasts, YouTube channels, you know, places like Fetlife, you know, and they can absorb this at a much younger age and, you know, just just carry on and and do and be. Yes. And I think that that is an amazing and and wonderful thing. And and yet
Lola agrees. And yet, if you were, and I am one of these people, so I'm not trying to insult anybody when it says when if you are chronically online, you will absolutely still see there's still there the thing that's never gone away, it's just transformed, is the judgment. There's Yeah. Yeah. I have a love hate with Twitter. I don't post on it because it's just a cesspool, but also I can't I can't stop looking. And some of the things I see are these sort of knee jerk superficial
reactions of, oh, that's gross. I don't understand it, so therefore, I don't like it. Well, that kind of reaction's always existed. Quite frankly, the difference is outside of the call the police, get the divorce, lose custody, lose your job, those kinds of things that happened before, and they definitely still happen now. The online world means that everybody has an opinion and they're not always inside
thoughts anymore. That's true. Yeah. And that can be very overwhelming if you get stuck in this little corner of the Internet where what you're seeing most of more than anything else is judgment about kink. Yeah. And there are some very uninformed, you know, surface level. Clearly, folks don't understand at all what they're talking about, but they saw one thing they didn't like, and they've formed what they call an opinion.
And that is extremely pervasive if you can't hack your own algorithm to, like, not see that kind of stuff. And I think that that is do what you gotta do for miss Lola who has opinions. She does not like the judgment of the ill informed judgment she sees online either. I think that has the potential to do more harm. And I don't even know what I mean
by harm. I don't I don't mean, you know, it's gonna run people out of kink, but I think it does could you know, if you're a newer kinkster and that becomes your first foray into the online world of talking about kink, you know, there are then are questions of, is this really accepted? Is there really a community? Am I doing the right thing? And it's one thing to have those thoughts
on your own by yourself when Mhmm. One person in your life that maybe was close to you, maybe wasn't as judgmental, I can't really imagine what it might be like to have what would feel like the masses coming at you. And the downside to primarily the non kink spaces, but it it certainly can happen in places like FET because we all know about one truism and the, you know, this is the real way to be a dominant. This is what a real sub is.
You know, to have sort of that deluge, that drinking out of the fire hose sensation of everybody's opinions and realizing that you don't agree, but does the if especially when you're new, does that mean that you're wrong? I I fucking love the Internet. We would not have a roof over our head without the Internet at this point in our lives. Okay? I am pro Internet. But the human condition being what it is Yeah.
And the fact that there is for many, not all people, no real filter between the knee jerk reaction thought that they have and the things they post online, you know, it that can be overwhelming in and of itself. And we're not even talking about online bullying and, you know Yeah. The creepy shit that people do. And, like, that's its whole other realm. But, yes, I I love what the Internet allows kingsters of all experience levels to do and to be and to explore. And, also, fuck, sometimes it sucks.
So sometimes you just kinda have to like, for me, personally, bring it back to the fucking podcast, I wanted to create a space where I was talking about the shit that mattered to me, and I hope that people who cared about this stuff too or interested in this stuff too would find it. I am enough of a creature of the Internet that there is a part of my brain that's like, man, I wish, you know, I wish more people listened. I wish more and yet my lizard brain goes, no. The fuck you don't. You
don't like that kind of perception. You don't like that kind of attention. And every time something of yours goes semi, air quote, viral, the wrong side of the Internet finds it. And you wanna know where I'm happiest? I'm happiest on this podcast every week talking to the people that I feel like are in the community. Yes. Including the lurkers who have never once, like, actually typed out a thing to anybody to say anything. Yes. I it's a it's an energy.
There is a sense of who all of y'all are, and I don't even get I don't care if it's 5 of y'all or if it's 5,000 of y'all. Like, it's a it's a much comfier, cozier vibe. It means that we don't, like, we don't have a big old channel and we're, you know, we wouldn't anyway because non, non vanilla things don't usually rate this kind of attention. But, you know, we're not influencers in the way way that, air quote, influencers, like, make money online. Like, meh. We're just
we're too niche. We're too numb not safe for work or TV or any of it. And that part of me that compares myself that always thinks I'm supposed to be doing more and more will have that thought of, oh, after all these years and then I go, yeah. But this is the fucking place where I wanna be. And when we do go semi viral, I am deeply uncomfortable for days weeks. Cannot reply to comments when I even see them because I'm like, I don't I don't they're not my people, so I
don't know their tone. Are they joking? Is that sarcasm? Do they mean that? If they mean that, what the fuck is wrong with that? Like and I'm like, no. No. Give me my cozy audience. Some of y'all have been here since 20 fucking 15, and I am a happy girl because the Internet is a scary, scary place. Yeah. It can be. Mhmm. Oh my god. So, anything else? Anything else. There are things and so I'll give you some inside
whatever. To me, I don't know if JB goes through this because I have I have a I know I have a weird brain and it's it does what it wants to do. Part of the reason one of the reasons, this is not a scripted and it's a barely outlined podcast, is if I She wants to go on the other one. Okay. If I think about a topic enough to start forming thoughts. Like, here's what I think. Here's my opinions.
Here's the stuff that pisses me off. And I do those internal conversations in my brain that I do that I do with everything. It is how I process stuff. Good, bad, indifferent, does not matter. If I do that before an episode, none of those thoughts will come back to me for an episode. Not one. I have I'm telling y'all, I've probably had award winning podcast episodes in my brain because a topic got me so fired up. Thought through it, argued with myself, made fucking points
All in my head. Usually while in the shower. Sometimes which is while trying to do my face care sitting at my vanity. 2 days later, I'll be podcasting. And I'm like, what are words? What even is this topic? And the thoughts are gone. So we started out heavily scripted because I was terrified that I would misspeak. I still get very nervous I will misspeak. Again, it goes back to I'm very happy with our comfy, cozy audience because y'all tend to forgive me when
I misspeak. You're like, oh, that's just Kayla. It is. It really is. So I have to keep I have to have the thread in my brain of what a topic's about and where it's coming from. And I literally cannot let myself form too strong of an opinion on something until we turn all this on and I start talking. I can outline it so I can try to hit the points I'm thinking of, but that's as far as
I can go. JB and I, for our our q and a episodes for these episodes too, but for our q and a episodes, we don't spend too much time talking about them. Why? Because if I have the deep passionate conversation with JB and nothing is recording it, you will never hear it again. Because once I say it once, it's gone into the ether. And I don't know why I'm like that. I don't know how to fix that.
Maybe it's not a thing to be fixed, but we are chaotic and we are not professionals at this at all even after 9 years. Yeah. Because if you wanna know my actual thoughts, I have to do them unscripted and a little bit off the cuff. Like, it's gotta come rolling out of me. So, yeah, there's there's some inside stuff for you on the. I I will say a a thing that I have discovered, learned, explored, pick a word, I don't know, through the course of this podcast.
If I have ADHD, if I am ADHD, I don't know the proper way how whatever. If if if I have the 80 of them. Right? It's because the more I learned about how ADHD can manifest once the the kids are diagnosed and started both listening back, watching back, thinking back to every fucking episode we've ever done. I'm like, oh. Oh, okay. You can't talk this much all the time and not, I think, start
noticing patterns. I don't think y'all could listen to me this much and maybe not start noticing some patterns. And some of them, by classical definitions, I can't speak to anything else. I'm completely undiagnosed. I'm very on the fence about how I feel about doing a self diagnosis for myself. No opinions on other people's self diagnosis. There we go. Said it.
But some of the the ways that the words come out of my mouth and the things that I am criticized for the most speaking wise, content wise. Yeah. It's like a it's like if you made a a checklist of these are things that ADHD people tend to do. Yes. Other people do them too, but it's a level thing. It's quantity thing. Hi. I tick all the boxes. I would have told you before podcasting that I had a handle on interrupting folks.
And I do, except for the people I'm most comfortable with, I e, jump around the stone. I when I'm thinking about it, when I'm thinking about it very, very carefully, and I'm sitting there and I'm staring into JB's eyes as he's relaying information because I speak so much. It's a beautiful treat when JB starts talking for everybody, not just myself. I have to go, you nope. Don't don't don't nope. Watch his body language. Nope. He's still going. Remember, he takes long pauses. He
doesn't do commas. He does semicolons. Just give him a chance to take that breath. And I like, how do I get topic related words out to y'all when I'm doing that? I don't know either. But believe me for everybody who has ever complained about how much I interrupt, it fills me with a lot of guilt. It fills me with so much guilt when I when I recognize what I've done. And then it fills me with a bit of stress when I work very hard not to. So, yeah, I have always been a talker like this.
It was definitely considered a negative when I was a kid. I as I became once I hit my thirties, I used that talking energy for blogging, for writing. And now I don't wanna write so much. I'm still severely burned out on writing in a way that I probably should see a therapist about because this is bad. But I'd much rather talk and have conversations even though when we're done, I am probably mentally, like, mad at myself. I'm thinking you interrupted JB this many times. Did you even make any
sense? Oh god. How many times did your train of thought derail y'all? And that's gotten worse. How many times in the past few weeks have I been in a middle of a sentencing on, fuck. I've just lost it. Yeah. So, yes, I'm acutely aware of all that. I think what's been helpful is realizing just how much of the kink community is also neurodivergent. Because I have found neurodivergent people to be a lot more understanding of my, still undiagnosed quirks, than, non neurodivergent people.
Oh, JB's phone is ringing. Forgot to put it on the airplane. It's okay. You're like that grown person who's like, I don't mind hearing a ringtone. Things you might not have realized about JB. He, 1, lets his ringtone just play. What the fuck? And 2, answers his phone when it rings unless you know it's spam. Like Yeah. You know? I'm like, you're just answering phone calls over there? If it's important, they'll leave a voice mail. And that's the clash of 2 generations, also
of 2, types of brains. Sometimes I wanna talk to somebody other than you. You're gonna have to go make some friends and go somewhere and leave this house. I don't know what to tell you. Look. Look. Look. I not in a nosy way, y'all. But I see when he's on Fete responding to messages, I can kinda tell when he's on his phone because he's texting, not playing one of his games. Probably not as many as you'd like, but you're definitely having conversations with folks other than
me. And that's probably a good thing because, yes, yes, we can get tired of one another. We adore each other. We wanna be together until the end of fucking time. We're going out of this world together. Okay? He doesn't understand. I will mount him somewhere. I will prop him somewhere. Whatever. We're going together. But, yes, after 9 years of talking about your relationship ad nauseam in detail, nearly every week of your lives, you too
can be like, you know what? I just need to go be in a room by myself. I need to go I'm not the person who's like, I need to go talk to other people. I'm not. I'm not. I'm that's I I gotta sort through that. But I'm not. But he is, and I respect that. So yeah. That, yeah. Go ahead. Did you have something? He did that intake of breath, and I was like, he's gonna say something, and then I kept going because I do that. We've talked about this before, but I'll get this isn't
this didn't happen with the podcast. It happened when I was trying to be a fiction writer. I am not capable of reading reviews. Not because, I think they're bad or because I can't handle criticism. I kinda can't handle criticism. If I ask for the criticism, I will will myself not to be upset about it because I asked for it. But when I was not asked for it, I can't often handle it. But reading reviews has been so bad for my ability to create. I learned that years ago. That and then
I was like, you know what? You need to push through that. That's what everybody says. You can't get better at what you do if you don't read the reviews. I do think that's bullshit, quite frankly. You can get better by going out and searching out the resources you respect and learning from them. Just saying. Just saying. And then I tried to read the reviews, and somebody was mean about you
in one of our reviews. And then I learned I can't read the reviews because then I have to hate humanity and wanna crawl through my phone because who the fuck is gonna be mean about my daddy? Because that's not allowed. And that was the last time I ever read a review. So for anybody who writes reviews, uses reviews, go for it, please. It's what they're there for. They are not for me. They are for you to decide. Is this really where I wanna
be? But, yeah, if anybody out there who because I I when that last time I read reviews, a couple of them were written like somebody thought I was gonna be reading them and would just be taking notes to do what they thought I needed to do. And I was like, that's not how I'm gonna do that. That's mm-mm. And the thing is, because I listen to podcasts, because I do try to learn these things, I am actually quite aware of everything I consider a not great thing about this podcast,
and I keep doing it. Why? Because let me give you an example about what this podcast is for me, and I think a little bit for you. Today was a rough day for me. Bad headache, 2 hour nap. I don't take naps in the middle of the day. Even though it was a good day, the kid went to a doctor's appointment and basically got the all clear. Like, hey. As long as you continue on this track, I don't have to see you again Right. Ever if you don't want to. Right? Like, it was a that part was a good day.
But other things are going on, and it's so at we I did the 2 hour nap, and I'm like, we're supposed to record a Monday episode, and we're gonna do the podcast. The thing that was never on the chopping block for the week was the podcast. It was never never ever. I sent to JB, like, hi. Are you okay if we don't record the Monday podcast? Will we record it before Monday? I don't know. Maybe
we might not. There might not be a Monday episode because if I'm going to pick where to put my energy on a on a Wednesday, it will be here every fucking time. Because one, it's a time when I get to look JB in the little eyeballs there, his baby blues, and go, let's focus on this interesting topic to us. Right? Let's talk about our relationship. Let's maybe get some stuff off our chest. That has happened in these episodes. But, also, this is the time where I know for myself,
I'm connected to our community. Yes. Even y'alls y'all lurkers who have never once said a word, you don't have to. It's okay. I too am a lurker. Not all of us answer our phone when it fucking rings. What the hell? Like a psychopath. He also answers the door when somebody rings the doorbell. What even is that? But, you know, I know that we're imperfect. I know that we're chaotic. I know we're
not everybody's cup of tea. And I have become a lot more comfortable with that because I know we actually have helped people. I don't know how much we've directly, like, given somebody an answer that they were looking for. I hope they have if they've asked us a question and sought an answer. But I know mostly that a lot of people feel a whole hell of a lot less alone in how they experience their power exchange.
And I I I might be coming down with something because, like, I've got a earache and a post nasal drip thing, and I just have not been feeling good. But, 1, I'm not feeling that right now at all. I mean, I'm sweaty as hell, but it's the lights, and that's the it's the air about me. Like, I know who I know who I am. I know what I am. And yet I don't kinda care how I feel. This will be the most energizing thing, one I've done all day and probably will do all week. And this is
it's not even a question. Like, on our worst days, we're like, oh, no. We're podcasting. Like, oh, we'll just drag our, you know, dang up, sweaty, feverish bodies in this office. We will crawl up the side of our little IKEA table, $27 special back when they still had prices like that, and we will be weirdos on the Internet. Let's check out there. Mhmm. And so, yeah, if anybody's ever like, how have you done this for 9 years? That's how.
That's how. And and, you know, I think for me, on that on that note, you know, since we started this this podcast and and talking about our lifestyle and and the lifestyle in general, the the people that we've met over the years that, you know, from have followed us and, you know, just fellow podcasters that we've met and and, you know, the people that we've met through the years. And and it's just been amazing, you know. It it's been absolutely wonderful. Mhmm.
For all that I was, you know, cautioning earlier about how the Internet can be awful, some of the most open, nonjudgmental, just just accept you as you fucking are kind of people that I've come across online and in person have been kinksters. Like, bar none have been fucking kinksters. Like, I spend a great deal of time, like, kind of apologizing for my being weird, you know, being weird on the Internet. Right? Not for being kinky. Feel like that. I'm not
apologizing for that shit. But for being weird on the Internet, and there's always stuff that's like, you don't have to apologize for that. I see you. I'm I am you. Yeah. We're all good. And that it can be jarring to go into other spaces these days. Now part of it is I have intentionally or unintentionally, my algorithmic whatever surroundings are very curated because I only look at the things I wanna look at, and I'm getting much better at blocking shit I don't wanna see. So it's a bit
of a bubble. Like, because I know god. I know there's judgment in the kink community, and I know there are assholes. And I know I know all of that exists. I do see that. But, yeah, like, we were like, no. No. Kayla's our weirdo from the Internet. This is fine. They're like, oh, good. Thank you. Thank you. And I think that's why this is this is the place we're gonna be
almost regardless of what's going on. Right? Like, I I will have a million thoughts about how it should be done better, or was that actually helpful to anybody, or what even was the point, or, like, all of that. And yet the vibe the vibe in the community spaces we inhabit, it's like there's no other place I wanna be. Mhmm. Mm-mm. Mhmm. Mhmm. So mister Spock pointed something out that I know to be true at least one time as
well, mister Spock. Mister Spock in live chat says, I feel the need to point out that you're probably responsible for at least a few couples in your 9 years, though I can only speak to 1. That that may be true. We can only speak to 1 as well. We see you. But, yeah, that you know, that's the thing. I I don't I don't ever want, like, our Discord server or community through our Patreon. Yes. Go take care of your girl. Lola is full of opinions tonight.
I don't wanna speak for it too much because people change and things happen, whatever. But the vibe is better be real low pressure in there. It's not a dating scene. It's not a hookup scene. It's not a whatever. But everybody in there is adults and people take things to DMs. And, yeah, stuff, mutually beneficial, consensual, happy things have happened there. Right? And I I fucking love that. You know? We didn't do anything but facilitate it, and I'm here for that. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Anything else you'd like to add? I don't think so. Could I could I gush about my love for doing this podcast and also all of my insecurities all night long? Yes. I could. Well, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna. Thank you. I'm not quite that comfortable, laying bare all of my insecurities in one place because the Internet is forever. But yeah.
Yeah. I guess that's it, and we can we can do a bonus section, which was born from criticism of the podcast, but it was I it was delivered in a way I was open to it, so just saying. I mean, there's there's a, you know, I I think that's one of the the with the Internet, you know, you you get people who are capable of giving you giving someone online constructive criticism. You know? And, unfortunately, you had people that just opened their mouth and Yeah. You know? Yeah. And, you know, it
it did help. That person was one of our OG listeners. I have no idea if they're still around. Hi. If you are, you know who you are. You have to know who you are. Right? Because it went from me having a million asides, just trying to get through 2 sentences. Mhmm. Look. I have half a million asides now. I've I've cut way back. To putting most of those asides into the bonus section. So yeah. So Been quite the journey. It has been.
And, I you know, anything anything can happen and life changes on a dime and blah blah blah. But, like, I there's not a part of me that can actually imagine what it would take and how it would happen for for us not to do this. I'm sure that that day will come in a distant future. But I'm already, like, no. No. I'm gonna remember our 10th year 10th anniversary. Watch me fucking forget. All y'all can laugh at me if a year from now, I have forgotten August 15th again.
It's fine. I will deserve being laughed at if this happens again next year. So all of that. Are you ready to go into a bonus section? Yes. Are you gonna put a reminder in your phone? You better have like a Not not in the phone. In our community calendar. Okay. Well, you wanna put a reminder for that event, like, more than a day in advance. Yes. Oh gosh. It looks like the next year Mhmm. August 15th will fall on a Friday.
Oh, gosh. It's perfect. And it should be the night of our Friday night hangout. Oh, as long as we're still doing that too. You know what? Time has no meaning, and I there are things I would tell you that happened, like, 6 months ago, a year ago, topics we've covered or just what silly little things. And I'll go look at the history. I'll need to go find, like, an episode to link to or something something. And I'm like, what the fuck? That was 2022?
What in his life? I thought that was, like, 2 months ago. So, see, that that makes it perfect for the 10th anniversary. Let's let's be real that it for 15th to be on a Friday and it to be the 3rd Friday of the month, livestream, that that will be a big celebration. I don't know what what. Probably just me going, I'm so happy, and that'll be what I call a celebration. I don't know. Mhmm. Mhmm. Oh my god. Did you cover her up and she took a nap? Yeah. She's like a toddler.
I swallowed her up. She came in. She'd never got there. I swallowed her up in the blankets and she settled down. Oh my god. Like a true pity. Note to self, if I ever get a little, wacky and wild, just swaddle me up and make me take a nap. I'll probably calm right now. She is, y'all. She is like her ears flopped over. She's leaning against her paw. Mhmm. Okay. Okay. Let's so are we good? And you've been asking me that for a very long time, and I still don't know. 9 years. Yeah. Holy shit. Sure.
Keep it kinky, y'all. And we'll see you next week. Daddy. Yes, baby girl. Can we keep talking to the Kirke? Yes. We can. Okay. What do you have to talk about? I mean, I could go through all my existential crises with y'all, but I think that gets a little boring after all. I I think first off, I just wanna say to everybody out there in in YouTube land and podcast land, I apologize for Lola, the way she's been lately. Oh my god.
What what has been going on with her is, since we have been, you know, trying to get her to lose weight, I have been, you know, very structured about her walks. Mhmm. Mhmm. And obviously, on Wednesday evenings, you know, we we eat dinner and right after dinner we record the the the q and a. If we do it, we do it. Yeah. And and then we're here doing the podcast, so it's impossible for us to walk her or me to walk her. Well and that's because it's the summer. When it's
fall winter, it'll be cooler. You can go earlier in the day, and it won't matter. But, yeah, it matters right now. You know, last last Wednesday, I tried taking her out during the day. We went we went on a road you know, a little road trip. Her and I, didn't work. So, you know, she has she has become used to her walks, which is a good thing. Mhmm. But when she doesn't get them, she gets very insistent about wanting them. And more so than she did when she was younger. Yeah.
I think it's her middle aged lady self going, bitch, this is my routine. Right. And you are not gonna fuck up my routine. I plan my whole day around this. She would have been like my great grandmother who absolutely was eating her dinner at, like, 4:35 watching Wheel of Fortune. When Jeopardy came on, that is when you got ice cream, usually vanilla, sometimes butter pecan. And if that is not how the evening went, the the evening was ruined. What were we even doing? Uh-uh. Anyway.
So but, yeah, that that's kinda what's been going on with her and why she has been so vocal on Wednesday evenings. So podcast listeners, this I don't know how much of her a wooing JB was able to cut from the Monday episode for this week. I was able to cut most, if not not all. There are a couple of moments in the video. But what I did for the video, for anybody who maybe hasn't watched it yet or you're like, oh, I don't watch the video. This is
the pocket. Or the moment we start doing our our closing spiel, you turn off. Fair, by the way. You don't need to listen to our commercials every fucking time. That's bullshit. But I did a little thing where I just did, like, some of her a woos from trying to record that. And I put, I think, 4 clips at the end. Like, I was taking them out of the main thing, and I was popping in the end. And then I had to stop, and I just started deleting all of
the Awoos. And there were, like Yeah. 4 or 5 more after that before we finally got her settled. Settled. Yeah. I was able to get most of them out of the Okay. Out of the podcast. If you would like to just bask in Lola's Ah Wooing Yeah. It is, the what was Monday of this week, 19th? August 19th video on our YouTube channel. Just saying. Yeah. So yeah. It she was it's funny, but it is also very frustrating. So we are very routine oriented people. We
crap. We are just always trying to do so much that we have tried to keep a very strict schedule. And I have just a brain that just does better with that. So it during the time we have to record, that is the time we have to record. And if miss Lola wants to, voice her opinions, we just have to work around it because the the act of trying to reschedule that for another time is kind of a almost a pain point of, like, what do we move, and how do we do this, and can we get our head in the game, and
and it just Yeah. Yeah. So And and and, you know, because of the way Lola is, she wants to be in the room with us. Yes. There's no just leaving her in another room. She'd just be a wooing at the door, wondering why we weren't letting her in. Right. Yeah. Yeah. So It was I think it was a little easier when we like, in her early days with us, like, she would go to her crate, and she would I mean, I think we've even commented in past episodes, like, she's just sleeping in her crate
right now. What the fuck? You know? Because it's just Mhmm. Yeah. And I, you know, I love having a dog that wants to be with us. Oh, god. Speaking of miss Lola and her wondering what the fuck is happening with her walk. So she is not a stupid girl. She's a very, very smart girl, and she knows. Too smart for her own good sometimes. God. Too smart for us. I'm like, I'm a dumbass compared to my dog.
She knows that when her daddy, because JB is her daddy too, let's just be real, is done doing the water things at the sink in the kitchen, in the food place, doing dishes at night. They go for their walk. If he's gonna do dishes, it's after he's done dishes. Mhmm. Because he doesn't do dishes every night now. She I went in to the bedroom to do, I don't know what. I think put this shirt on, quite frankly. JB was at his desk here in the office.
Lola, unbeknownst to both of us, was sitting our dining area, air quote that because it's not like some formal thing. But our dining where our kitchen table is our where we eat. And the kitchen, like, they're it's open space. They're kinda all one and the same. She's sitting in between those two spaces. Right next to his chair, that's where he sits and eats. And right by the refrigerator, quite frankly. Right.
And she's sitting there. And I we didn't know she was there until she didn't just a woo like y'all have heard here tonight. She started doing her mournful, soulful, I've been abandoned cry. Mhmm. We both come running. She is sitting in that space. And just turns and looks
at us like What? Man. And I was like, because this girl is smart and knew that this was the time she was supposed to put her bra on, that's what we call her harness, and go for her walk and and get covered in fucking mosquitoes, which apparently don't bother her. Mm-mm. Yeah. Yeah. She's her she's her smart girl. Mhmm. Yeah. A few times, she's even camped out by the front door. Oh, yeah. Oh,
yeah. Yeah. Ready for her. Mm-mm. And, you know, you you wanna see somebody get excited, we have this little I don't know what you would call it by the front door. I don't know what to call it either. Yeah. So it's like a little table. It's got 2 little drawers there and, you know, it's where the keys and stuff go. Mhmm. And, that's where I keep her harness harness and leash. Mhmm. And she hears me open that drawer, those ears are up,
and she is moving. We basically can't keep anything non dog related in those drawers because if the drawer opens Yeah. That's a signal to her. Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm. Oh my god. But she's such a good
girl. She is. We were gone for the youngest doctor's appointment today during her peak, go out to the backyard, come inside, go out to the backyard, come inside, go back in the back and forth time that she does, which is about between 10 AM and until about 1 or 2 because she likes to go be the baked potato that she is and just sun herself. And she's in and out, in and out, in and out. Yeah. And she was we were gone that whole time. We had to go to Gainesville
for this appointment. And, she, we got home. She wasn't, like, demanding to go out. She wasn't she was laying on the couch. She just lift her head up, looked at us, coming in. It's like, okay. She's such a cool girl. Yeah. So And and, you know, I I have to answer this. You know, mister Spock made the, made a comment about the phone ringing. Oh. You know, that, you know, whoever's phone rings has to buy the crew a 6 pack. I I guess I'm buying myself a 6
pack. You're buying me a 6 pack and can it be that margarita flavored malt beverage that we found at Publix that was Now wait a second, you're not the crew, you're the talent. I I'm the crew. I've I've, you know, maintained all the equipment and all that. I'm the one that does the script. I'm in the writer's room. I'm crew. Hell, I'm so crew. I made sure that one of the lights was on today because the crew didn't turn a light on before we started recording. I'm just saying. Oh, y'all. Okay.
I am submissive. I am submissive. I am submissive only to JB, and I bullied him into, getting up this morning to go on our walk. She did. She did. Here's here's the thing. I, 1, did not think of it as bullying, and I meant what I said. So Oh, all all you really said was, you know If you don't go, that's fine. I'm going by myself is what I said. No. What anyway yeah. And then I think that what I remembered was, you know, you know it it helps you. It's good
for you. Yeah. I I definitely wielded the tough love clause like a cudgel. There's nothing delicate or subtle about me. So he's like Dang it, mister Spot. Yeah. Talent gets to drink the fizz. Anyway, so we went on our walk Monday, and it was rough getting up. I don't think either of us wanted to get up, but we're out there. And then we had to have a big serious important stressful conversation yesterday. And I know I hate doing those to JB because he's not gonna sleep at night
after we have the conversation. And the rest of the day, evening, whatever, he's completely deflated as he should be. It's a tense moment. So he's telling me last night, as I'm I've worked well late into the night, and he's like, okay. I'm I'm done. You keep doing whatever. He's like, I I I don't you're tired. You're working late. Because that was my favorite. He was like and he's he was right. I was
tired. I was like, I think maybe we just won't turn the alarm on in the morning, which means we won't be going on our walk. And I went, no. No. I don't think that's good. Well, you know, you were working late last night. I knew we had to go get up for the doctor's appointment and had a lot of running around. And I understood your thinking about it. I just rejected it completely. Yeah. You did. Because I was like, this is the thing
that will help me focus today. This is the thing that will help me wake up. This is good for us actually, even though we hate it. And guess what, y'all? We're not even waking up at 5:30 in the morning anymore. Thank you. Fuck. That, I don't think I could have sustained. Yeah. I know. Because it just stays too dark. The sun comes up so late right now. Now it yeah. It's just oh my god. You're just walking Well, for a while there, it was light at 5:30. Yeah. It was. And I went and I said it it
and I did a sail there. It was it's good for us. We need to do it. I said, but if you don't wanna go, that's fine. If I can get my shit together, I will get up and go by myself. I will set my alarm. So I set my alarm for 6:30. And when my alarm goes off, his alarm goes off. And I'm like because he didn't say anything to me after that. No. We didn't talk about it again. I was just like, you're the daddy and you're gonna do what you're gonna do, and that's fine. But I'm
gonna do what I'm gonna do. Right? I go, so he gets up and I wait, because I don't know. I know what's gonna happen in a morning based on which clothes does he put on. Does he put on his p we sleep naked y'all. Does he put on his pj's or does he put on his walking clothes? And when I saw him pick up the bright ass fluorescent green shorts, I went, oh, are we going? He goes, yeah. We're going.
And we went. And we went. And I've had a, until this afternoon feeling like crap, very productive morning. So that tough love clause comes in clutch sometimes. Oh, just saying. If you're in a power exchange and you're submissive and you're like, but my dom is not doing the shit they need to do for their own health. Tough little clause. Damn you. I fucking love that shit.
Smartest negotiation. I I will never have as good or as smart of a moment in my life as that moment right there because I you have to use it wisely. You have to be judicious with it. You can't just be yanking it out for every fucking thing because then it loses its power. But when it's his health and to his benefit, oh, yes. Tough love clause time. You better take care of your fucking self. Okay? Because come hell, high water or you get, like, rickety, you're staying with me through this
this morning. You know, and and what I will say is at least this morning we went out, it actually felt nice. It was relatively pleasant. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The humidity had had dropped during the night and, you know, it felt comfortable. This is gonna be so much fun when we get closer to what our air quote fall really is when the humidity drops. Because then it's, like, it's exciting to go outside. You're like, oh my god. I'm breathing air and not wet cotton. This is delight.
I become a whole new human being Yeah. When the humidity drops. I mean, we were we were all things considered, we were fairly lucky this summer. Mhmm. Our intense heat didn't really start until August. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then and then it got super intense. And it got super intense, and I'm I'm done. I'm ready. I'm over it. I I've had enough of Florida summer. I know. Right? And yet, no. We we will continue to live here year after year. We're not you know, I'm not gonna lie.
Every time our home insurance goes up a little bit more, I'm like, maybe we should move in then. We should go to, like, one of those other states, but I just I can't be that far away from water. Even if I don't visit it, I just need to know it's there. I don't I don't know what that's about. It's okay if you don't, like, you don't get it either. I don't it just is. It just is. Mhmm. I mean, when I I went to college in Montgomery, Alabama, and that was too far inland for
me. I was very it was a very weird feeling. And I I don't maybe it's because I'm a water sign. I don't know. I just it's a feeling I get. I'm the same way. I mean, are you know, as a kid, growing up, I used to seek out ponds and streams and and I would just love hanging out and being around water. You know what's weird to me? And I think maybe it's because I am a I'm a Florida kid. Lakes, ponds, canals, those kinds of bodies of water make me more nervous than a gulf or an ocean.
Now I recognize the danger of the gulf and oceans and riptides and all of that. Like, I lost a good friend to the Atlantic fucking ocean. So, I'm well aware of those dangers, but there is something about the, non coastal waters in Florida. And it's because if there's a body of water standing still in Florida, it's probably got an alligator in it. I'm just like, I have never trusted that zigzag run thing and then come to find out the internet told me that was fake. Don't run-in a zigzag.
That doesn't help anything. But I promise you as a Florida kid, I was taught running a zigzag. Come across run away back and forth. And I was like, I barely can do a straight line. You want me to know my right from my left while panic running? I don't know. So, yeah, Kim says, Delaware is 29 miles across. You're always near the water and less humidity. Yeah. But don't y'all have snow? Don't y'all have snow? Y'all have snow, don't you? You have do you have snow? If you have snow, I so
mm-mm. Give me my alligators and my hurricanes over snow is all I'm saying. Oh my gosh. In the fifties. I Yeah. Kim and mister Spacher tried to convince us we need to go to Delaware. Right? I don't know. I don't know. Anyway, Onyx is a menace. Ella is a menace. Oh, I haven't caught them grooming, but this afternoon, they were walking through the kitchen. They incorrectly thought I was gonna give them the water from the tuna can. I used to give them water from the tuna can,
but then they stopped drinking it consistently. And then we had these little bowls of tuna just out in the house, stinking up the house. And I'm like, you're not getting tuna juice anymore. I'm so sorry, girls. So I was cracking up a can of tuna today, and they come in the kitchen and they're like, oh, hello. Hello. And I'm like, bitch,
please. And I turn around to do something and I watch them walk away and they are body to body just rubbing against each other as they're walking their tails briefly, like, for half a second blink and you would have missed it. Their tails crossed. Wow. I was like, do they actually love one another? Maybe it's begrudging. Whatever. I don't care. I think they love one another. So just saying. Just saying. So yeah. That's that's us, I think. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Look. Y'all, I really could just sit here in comfortable silence with y'all. I really, really could, but I probably shouldn't. I'm not gonna, but I could. I really could. But I guess we're not, and I guess we should. We could. We should. Thank you all. Mhmm. Thanks for being here and hanging out to the bitter end with us. I'm happy you're here, if you've been here for 5 minutes, or you've been here for 9 years.
I I the I mean, I am constantly blown away by the fact that there are folks who are like, no. Actually, this isn't the most annoying fucking thing I've ever heard. This is interesting and good even, and I'm getting something from it. So, yeah, we're we're grateful. Mister Spock asked what the implement is on my shirt. It's a crop. Mhmm. His shirt says behave. He's, he's getting back into clothes he has not been able to wear in a while. Right. I'm going the opposite way.
I I have have feelings about that, but that's for another day. We're gonna go. Thank y'all. I'm almost fitting back into my kill. Look. The day you are back in that fucking kilt, I will be humping your leg. I'm so sorry. Oh. What does a j b wear under his kilt? Not a fucking thing because I need to be able to get to that, and it is delightful. And oh my god. Oh. Oh. Kilts. Goddamn. I love a fucking kiln. Look. Look. How y'all know how to, the the Scotland part of Outlander?
I'm there for the fucking kilts. Yeah. I wish there was at a time where bathing was more common, but still. Anyway, we're gonna go now. Yep. We're we're devolving here. Mhmm. We will be back next week. Yes. Indeed. I think I know what that's gonna be, and it's not gonna be a topic. It's gonna be something we haven't done in a few weeks. So I think we'll talk about it. Oh, it's nothing major. You'll be like, oh, thank god I don't have to think of anything, and it'll be delightful.
Anyway, we will see y'all next week. Bye. Bye.