Princess Treatment vs Power Exchange

You're listening to the Loving BDSM podcast episode four forty seven. Kayla Lords here with the one, the only, the you just had your birthday, and I won't stop talking about it because I love you. John Brownstone. I mean, I felt every single one of those 64 plus one to grow on Spanx. That's true. It was delightful. I mean, I got tired of counting after a while, but it was delightful. I'm glad I get a break when it's my birthday. That's not what we're talking about at all at all today.

For JB's sake, I will move on from his birthday. But if I don't, you know There might be otherwise, there might be, you know, another Oh, no. But not with something that you like. At this point? Oh, no. Anyway, this week we're talking about a concept that's gone viral in the past few months known as princess treatment. And we're gonna talk about what it is according to the person who went viral for it and how that compares to power exchange.

Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, glad to have you. If you're back for another week, welcome back. Loving BDSM is produced every Friday for your kinky pleasure in education, and show notes are found at lovingbdsm.net. Come back often and feel free to add

the podcast to your favorite podcast app. You can also follow the show on Fetlife at loving BDSM PC on Instagram and, technically, threads, so that handle I will forever fucking hate, which is loving d s and the number one. So it's at loving d s one. On blue sky at lovingbdsm. Blah blah blah, or on YouTube at youtube.com/lovingbdsm where you can watch us live stream the podcast every Wednesday. All links are in the show notes.

Yeah. Even though it's overcast and we've had all kinds of rain for the past couple days, it is still warm enough that I'm grateful for that fan that is going on. Warm side. Yeah. On in the background. Okay. So announcements first. Mhmm. The first one is, this Friday, July 18. I'm looking at today's date right now, so I'm fairly confident Friday is July eighteenth. We're doing our Friday night livestream virtual munch q and a, chaotic, gigantic bonus section kinda deal, on YouTube.

So we hope y'all can join it. And usually starts at 09:30, but the past couple of months, we started at nine. I don't know what we're doing. I don't know. Somewhere between nine and 09:30 we'll show up. And we stream till about eleven. And it yeah. It's chaotic. I don't I can't predict because there are certain things that are they're truisms of our Friday night live streams. We will talk about food. We may ruin childhood memories.

We will reminisce based on kind of our generational kind of thing, like, not fully because there's so much crossover between generations, but was it last month or the month before we started talking about our TV shows from what we remembered from being younger. Right? Yeah. That kind of stuff. So but also, we'll answer questions about kink. We try pretend this is about kink, you know. So that's this Friday on YouTube. Mhmm. Second announcement. We will not have an episode next week.

Not because we don't want to, not because we planned this. The oldest is moving out of his apartment because he's changing apartments. That was supposed to occur on a weekend. A thing happened, which I plan on complaining about in the bonus section, and it's meant we need to now do it on Wednesday. And it's Yeah. Like the day. Mhmm. So I'll complain about that in the bonus section, but we were not gonna put ourselves under the strain of because he's moving back

home for a few weeks. So the strain of getting him home on a Wednesday, settling, having adjusting how we're doing things, three of us, all adults, will be sharing one car. So life is about get interesting for a few weeks. Yeah. So, yeah, we just were like, we're not gonna we're not gonna put that pressure on ourselves. We'll just take next week off. So those are the announcements. Ta da. K. Okay. I know this is all self induced pressure, but I really don't wanna fuck this week's topic.

But I do feel like a student who is giving a report to the class, and that's never been my favorite thing to do. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. Okay. So I I believe that the concept of princess treatment has probably been a term made probably even in the kink community, I'm not a 100% sure,

for however long. Right? But sometime earlier this year, February, maybe a little later, a creator on TikTok named Courtney Palmer had a video go viral because where she was talking about her life receiving princess treatment and what that meant her. And the video specifically, it's got 7,000,000 plus views on TikTok. She was talking about what princess treatment meant and how oh. Lola walked past the tripod. It's fine. And how, that

meant that she behaved in a restaurant. So she was talking about how she does not talk to the hostess. She does not give their name if it's reservation. She does not order, you know, her own food. Her husband does that for her. You know, he is in control of everything. And before I I ended up watching it today multiple times, get ready for this episode, When I first heard it, I first thought, well, that that sounds power exchange y to me. And I'm like, whoop. But when you

started explaining it to me Right. It's like, yeah. It's Blipped right on. I was like, okay. But apparently, the Internet ended up having thoughts. And the Internet always has thoughts. And sometimes I'm like, right on Internet, I agree. But most of the time I'm like, we've just stripped all the context and nuance out of this conversation so whatever.

And then two weeks ago, I was sending out the Loving BDSM weekly newsletter, and there was a Huffington Post article where they talked about this viral thing about the princess treatment. And it came up on my radar because they talked to Sex and Kink experts to get their opinion on is this like BDSM? Is this like power exchange? And and I've linked to the article in the places for anybody who wants to read it. Mhmm.

And, basically, they were like, well, maybe it could be, but here's some differences. So then it stuck in my brain, and I needed to go learn more because what is this person who is not in a power exchange talking about, and why does it sound so fucking similar to things that I've either experienced or wanted to experience or whatever? Now I did remember earlier today, I completely forgotten about it. I don't know when. Sometime in the past months, I was randomly

scrolling through Instagram reels. And I remember a reel coming up, and it was tagged like princess treatment. And it was like she was, you know, he reached out to hold her hand, and she's holding her hand, and she's talking about, you know, no thoughts, just vibes. And I I really related to the point I was like, wait. This algorithm is not does not usually have kink. How did we get here? And then I realized it wasn't. I was like, oh, who's this creator? Nope. Not a kinkster.

So others may have some of y'all may have seen it that way too. And hell, if you're on TikTok enough, maybe you saw the original viral thing. But when I started looking into what is Prince's treatment, what's gone viral, what does the Internet say, I took I had to go search out this woman's actual TikTok because I look on Instagram first. Look. Look. Yeah. It might take three to four business weeks before a viral trend from TikTok hits Instagram, but eventually it

will. Yeah. It get yeah. And but what I was getting were people's own opinions on princess treatment. Okay. And I think I'll get into that in just a second. Yeah. My my notes are lengthy for this one. But that for me, I understand that once I get somebody's opinion about a thing somebody else said, a lot of context is gone. A lot of nuance is gone. Mhmm. And I was seeing things that the follow-up viral trend for from Princess Treatment

is bare minimum versus Princess Treatment. Like, is this bare minimum? Like, the bar is already in hell or do we classify this as princess treatment? And everybody's got their own opinions about that too. Some people are like, well, you know, if he's nice to me, that's princess treatment. And I was like, oh, honey. Honey, somebody needs to hug you and introduce you to a good human. Right. And that was when I, like, knew beyond

a shadow of a doubt. I cannot do this episode and try to tell you what I think princess treatment is with the opinions of others. I was like, we're going to the source. The source has a playlist. I don't know what it's called on TikTok. 29 TikToks where she's just talking about princess treatment. I watched 20 of them before I just couldn't anymore. I went, no. No. I understand the concept.

So that's the definition I'm using because what has happened since this particular creator went viral is she's creating these videos and answering questions about how to engage in princess treatment, how to get that for yourself. You know, what do you do? What what kind of person do you have to be? And I was like, I have no doubt others have talked about princess treatment in their

own way. Mhmm. Like I said at the top, there is likely something in kink where it's a very kink specific thing, but that's not what the broader world is seeing. They're seeing this, trad wife adjacent but not trad wife. She makes that clear distinction in one of her videos. She's like, you can have princess treatment when you're a trad wife. She's like, but I'm not a trad wife because I don't wanna cook and I don't wanna clean. And I was like, okay. So

that's that's the angle I'm coming at. That's what we're gonna talk about what what this woman, Courtney Palmer says to her and what she's teaching other people that Princess treatment is. And then as we go, but also at the end, we will we will do a compare and contrast to power exchange. So I absolutely disagree with. I'm not pissed. I'm a little bit, like, should I print out my notes and take them to our next negotiation? Because some of this doesn't bother me that much.

Because, you know, the the discussion online about Prince's treatment, the backlash is, you know, that it's anti feminist and it's about, you know, subjugating women and, that women specifically are should always be submissive to their men. And there there is some of that in here. I'm not gonna pretend otherwise. But I was like, but actually, I'm gonna use this to take notes. Go to my daddy dom and go, look. I could use some of this princess treatment. So let me let's let's

get into this. Okay. Okay. So when I'm talking about this, some of this is observations from what I was hearing from the creator, but also some of this is straight from what the creator said. Okay? Like I said, oh, I didn't say it. I linked to her TikTok in the places for anybody who wants to go hear it from her, yourself. Okay. So let's start at the top here of what, according to this creator, is princess treatment. First of all, it is completely cisgender heteronormative.

It is the assumption that the man is biologically male and the provider and better have a good job because you better have some money for some of this. And that the woman it and everybody's straight. But the woman is the wife and is the submissive one. But it is like, obviously, any of us can, like, draw color outside the box if we wanted to. But this is man provider, woman submissive wife. Okay? And then add some spice in there to this princess treatment thing.

So from the creator to be treated like a princess means to be adored, worshiped, the focus of your husband's attention. Mhmm. Their husband, you know, makes their princess feel loved. The husband is obsessed with her and wants what's best for her. Okay? Which basically, I went, so your husband likes you and wants to be with you and is happy to be here? Right. The bar is in hell. Yeah. Yeah. The bar is in hell.

Now the activities take this with a grain of salt because as with anything, anybody can personal kink perspective, but these are the things that came up most often. So what the husband does to provide his wife the princess treatment, cooks, gives gifts and money, ties their shoes, puts gas in her car, pays for everything, gives her flowers, plans everything, is the provider. Okay? Top line, the provider of everything. Okay. The princess doesn't have to ask for things.

Their partner pays attention. This is this one hear it when I say it. Their partner just pays attention and knows what they need. It's like Yeah. What? Yes. It is very much from everything I've gathered a and I'll get to these in my notes. Train your husband to know what you want. Be be a princess so he knows to treat you like a princess. Not once in any of this does this creator say, sit down and have a conversation with your husband to tell him what you want. Right. Right.

So they're doing all doing all this with the expectation that their husband or partner will Yes. Know. Right. Exactly. And just do. And just do. Because That's a lot of pressure on somebody. But yes. I agree completely. But you have to understand, the people who would do this, for a for a woman to get princess treatment in this situation, you need to be partnered with a, I'm gonna gag when I say it, high value man.

And then you need to be a high value woman in order to get this and to make this happen and to be a real princess. There I told you there were parts that pissed me off. But there's there's stuff that I do like. But, yeah. There's some basic elements to this that Mhmm. It is and I I get why the Internet is pissed. It is fundamentally a sexist thing. Not of this is a choice that

these people are making together. This is a, you know, it is a choice that the the wife is making according to the original creator of this. But is it a choice that the husband made? Who who knows? Who knows? Because we haven't had a conversation with him yet. So okay. Yeah. So basically no negotiation, no commune communicating about any of this. No consent.

No. No. Certainly no explicit consent. I imagine that if this is the provider husband, because another part of princess treatment is the princess lets her husband lead. Y'all know I don't have a problem with that kind of dynamic. The cons it is not explicit consent. The only thing I can imagine is if the the husband does not want to do this, he just doesn't do it. Mhmm. But then there's strife within the relationship because the wife wants princess treatment and the husband is not participating.

And in a little kind of the implication that I gleaned from this is that if your partner does not want to give you princess treatment, even though you did not specifically ask for it and negotiate it and talk about it, they're probably not a high value man. I don't like that term. I don't like that term. I I don't like that term. Well, you know, here's I'm I'm listening to you, you know, talk about all this. And so many elements of this. Yes. You know?

Okay. Yeah. That that's in this kind of dynamic and, you know, you could do this, you know, the fifties household or something else. Yes. Absolutely. Okay. There's some parallels. There there there definitely are some parallels. But I I had a word, and I cannot it it's like they're doing this to exploit. Exploit it. Mother the word that came to my mind was manipulative. Yeah. Or manipulative. Yeah.

But yeah. Yes. Absolutely. If the if the husband involved is was not planning on doing this and does not want this. The the the yucky part of this that really does bother me. The actions themselves don't bother me. It's the intent behind them. Right? It's it is supposing that you as a woman have married a man who wants to be the provider and this is just what is done. It gave off and I'll get into the men man's role and the woman's role in a minute, and these notes are lengthy.

But it gave the impression of the one true way, a true dom does this, a true sub like, that correlation was immediately in my head of, well, this is just what you do if you are a high value man. I don't like that fucking term. Yeah. I don't like that term. So I put this into to break it up before we get into the roles and what is air quote from according to this creator expected in princess treatment. Because she specifically made, a video of princess versus queen. And I saw a lot

in her comments. We were like, I don't need princess treatment. I'm the queen, you know. And sort of that, like, motherfucker kind of attitude. Now here's here's the thought. Mhmm. And Juliar brought it up in the live chat. Mhmm. Shoot. Now I lost we're hang on a second. Hang on a second. Hang on a second. Where'd it go? Where'd it go? Well, you look. I'll talk about Yeah. Go ahead. Queen versus princess. So okay. You go ahead then. Okay. I don't want you to forget it.

How would you say in relation to, say, like a sugar baby? You know, that is interesting because from this creator's perspective Mhmm. She's a housewife. She has a job, not a job outside the house. She has a role to fulfill. She has things she's doing that are natural because she's getting the princess treatment and this is what she's supposed to do if she's a housewife or a stay at home mom.

So there's stuff for her to do. So it's not like a sugar baby who's like, I'm just gonna be nice to you for a while, like Okay. No. No. No. No. No. Yes. I think somebody could make that comparison. I think it would be fair. But she explicitly talks about her role and even the bit of credit I will give her was like, your husband who's giving you this princess treatment better understand that what you're doing for your household is work and you are working. Yeah. You know, differently than he is.

Yeah. But it's this because you're working, you should get this treatment Mhmm. Because of that? Like, that's the the the reciprocation is not just gratitude and not just, hey, you know, we're a team doing this. It's treat me like a princess because I'm taking care of your house for you. Let me say again, if you fucking want that, I think you should get that. Mhmm. But in all of this, we still haven't had a conversation with the husband. Right. Right. Right.

Right. The husband has not explicitly agreed to this. So I wanna slide it in because when you start talking about princess treatment, somebody's gonna go, nah. I'm not a princess. I'm a queen. I I float between the two. So she made a video about this. This was her opinion, but this is how she sees princess treatment and what makes her a princess. A princess is softer. They need to be taken care of. They don't make decisions. They are pampered. They're cared for. I was

like, are you in a caregiver dynamic? Are you Yeah. Are you the sub and and that's your daddy dom over there? That's that's where my mind went because that's my experience. But, you know, in her mind, being a princess is it's very it's softer, delicate, you know. Okay. Yeah. Right? And a queen is in control and takes charge and makes decisions. And if this is your world view, that differentiation makes total sense to me. Mhmm. She even said, I think towards the end

of that video, she was like, yeah. Queens scare me a little bit. They're like they're like really in charge. And I was like, okay. Wow. And it was if I wanna be like if I want to look at it with ill intent, then I'm like, so you're saying queens can't be soft and it can't be taken care of? Like, especially when in the words being, you know, the way it's being described, a princess is worshiped. Well, so are queens, honey. I mean, mean every kind of queen, but

you know what I mean. Right? Like so I just for anybody who's like, I'm not a princess. I'm a queen yet. But for this purpose, for princess treatment, that's the difference in this creator's mind. If this creator did not have so much influence and hadn't gone viral to the point every article I tried to look up about the princess treatment virality linked back to her. Right? That is even if she's not the only one talking about it, even if there's 10,000,000 different ways

out there Mhmm. She's the one that's got the attention and and people are going to her now. She's like ground zero. Right. Right. So she her influences, other people could have been talking about it before in different ways in Mhmm. You know, in ways that I would be more comfortable with personally because we would be talking about consent. But they didn't capture the attention. They didn't get the they don't have the influence currently that this person does.

So what she's defining here is influential for people who want this kind of lifestyle, which is where I'm like, I don't care if you want this lifestyle. Some elements, I'm like, sign me the fuck up. It's not all and not all the fucking time. But it's it's the way it's being done. Because Mhmm. Wait till we get to it. I have a I think I have a section on communication. Oh, wait till we get to it. So the man's role. This is the high value man. He is the financial provider.

He is this never really got defined, but he is highly masculine. I think in in I'm not the audience for this person and the prince's treatment as they describe it. Right? I'm not I'm Trad wife content was not made for me. I am not the intended audience. So I do not inherently understand what what is not being said when you just throw out they're highly masculine, but the audience that she has captured seems to understand what specifically they mean. My brain don't work that

way. I wanna know specifics, and all you could kinda get was provider and that term I hate and lots of money and worships the ground you walk on and I'm like, but that doesn't tell me anything about what you mean by masculinity. Now I understand because I live on the Internet too, what the manosphere thinks masculinity is. And I feel like this is just yet more proof that patriarchy is bad for everybody and not just non men. Okay? So that's the man's role. He is he's

the provider. He's taking care of shit. Okay? This one threw me the fuck off. There was a whole video about this. I almost fell out of my chair. Because and we'll get to it when we're talking about the princess role. Okay. She acknowledges that what she's doing to take care of the home is work. Right? Mhmm. And that her husband does things first so she doesn't have to do them. Right? So when he travels for business, man, my snarky brain went, does he or does he need a break?

But that's just me being a bitch. Her husband travels for business. And when he's away for business, she has to take care of herself and what she was already doing. Mhmm. So she apparently got this idea from a friend, a family member, I can't remember now, that, she needs to let her husband know and has done and apparently works, that he should repay her for the extra work she's taking on while he's gone.

And I had to infer because she didn't say it explicitly in that particular video that that extra work is, well, now I have to tie my own shoes and I have to get my own water. I'm putting gas in my car. I'm, like, I'm having to, like, to do my stuff that you would normally do for me. So I'm taking on extra work and that I should when I say compensated, I do not mean hand you a a stack of cash. Don't mean that. Okay. And she's explicitly said, this is not like a $10,000 whatever whatever.

But she's I think sent him a text letting him know, like, yeah. Yeah. I think this needs to happen because I've had to put in all this extra effort while you've been gone. And so he brought her a present home. But the way she defined that was and used the word repayment. It it sounds more like a financial arrangement. Right. You know But it's for luxuries. It's for goods. Yeah. She got Chanel shoes shoes that she wanted. She would have bought herself, but he went and got them for her.

I'd you know what? I'd be curious. Mhmm. Was she doing this princess treatment before they got married? No. She she says they I I do not know her journey into deciding she wanted to live this life, like, what influenced her. No idea. She wanted to be she she worked. She's a mom. She does, in the videos I watch, she does not talk about any of that at all. She did not want to. She wanted to I guess she wanted to stay home is the implication, but I don't know if it was a mutual decision.

But I guess once she could stay home, then she could put her energy into this. And, you know, she is absolutely reveling in leaning into her softer feminine side as she defines femininity. And again, I don't have a fucking problem with that either because we all get to define that for ourselves. Right. But it the way it's described is this is what you do in order to receive princess treatment. And it's not put in love

and affection, receive good treatment back. Mhmm. It's, you know, we'll get to it, but make him feel like a man. And then he will treat you like a princess. And we still, in in that explanation, haven't had a conversation. So the thing is is this princess treatment, I see Taysh, you said, you know, that it's it could be kink adjacent. Yes and no. To me, it's more like I don't know, chicken or egg here. What came first? Were kinksters doing

princess treatment? And somebody saw that but went, let's make it, sexist. I don't know. Let's make it misogynist. I mean, I I truly don't know. Yeah. Or if we stole some of that and twisted it to be consensual and put hopefully healthy and Mhmm. You know, not this not this expectation, not because of what you said you've wanted or said you would do. This expectation based on who they are and who you are and who you were trying to be. And that's where for me,

it's definitely a problem. It's not at all in the activities. Yeah. Okay. So men's role. Oh, this one. Because she did talk about dealing with conflict because a lot of questions came up throughout the videos of but when I'm angry at them, how do I stay soft and feminine? So she gets into some of this and this comes up. The man should not nitpick, and that's the word she used, nitpick or overly criticize their princess even in and especially in conflict. Like, don't be too critical.

Don't don't have too much to say. That's your special baby princess. They could do no wrong, so you should treat them like they can do no wrong. You might be upset with them and she this is the thing I appreciate about her. She's like, y'all need to talk it out. Talk about your conflicts. Get it out there. But the man Corner time. The man should still treat her like a princess gentleness. But like, what if you're being the

raging bitch and you're wrong? Like, why is he I don't usually take a man's side, especially a nameless faceless man that I don't fucking know. I don't usually take their side, but I'm offended on their behalf right now. Like, what? Like, both of you should be gentle with each other if if you can be assuming this is a healthy relationship. I mean, that that's kind of a given in any relationship, but, you know Right. Right. It's like relationship one zero one kinda deal. Yeah.

She says the men's role, we're still in the men's role. Helping and taking care of their princess is what makes you masculine as a man, which if you want to define your individual masculinity that way, I'm saying go for it. Cool. Cool. Cool. But we're not gonna prescribe to the rest of society what is masculine. Like, art? I mean, we are clearly, but we shouldn't.

They do say part of it is that men, air quote this, naturally, want to provide and take care of women, and they should be allowed to do so emotionally, mentally, physically. And in return, now I had to kinda correlate these things based on different things that in return, they get an ego boost to make them feel good about themselves by letting them do that for you. Here's the thing. I I have no doubt there are men who absolutely get the ego boost, and they do feel masculine in doing that.

But, again, why are we just, like, doing a blanket statement for what it means to be a masculine man? Like, what? And and, you know okay. An ego boost is great. Sure. Okay. But, you know, to me, it sounds something like a little bit what we we've talked about in the past. You know, that well running dry. Oh, yeah. For sure. For sure. I mean, is he getting what he needs? I don't y'all, I don't usually stick up for cishet men. Not but yeah. It's

what is he getting in return? Mhmm. And if he's getting what he needs and wants, again, cool. I think this can work for some people. It's just too there's it's too much of a blanket statement about everything. Yeah. Which is why I said before it was giving this is what a true dom does. This is what a true sub does. This is the one true way. Yeah. Now, princess role. There is a lot a princess is expected to do and be. And this is, it's weirdly where I got probably a little bit more annoyed.

Oh, boy. Because man man is a princess who's being taken care of. You got a lot of fucking work to do and you better have the money, the skills, the access, the privilege to be able to do it all. Okay. So, to be a princess is to be soft and feminine always in everything. Now she I this is what I like about this creator. She said Mhmm. It's a it's a learned skill. You have to practice it. You won't always get it

right. Like, there were things she said. I was like, goddamn I could be on your side, and it's why I wanted to go to the source and not what people were saying she was saying. Because she was like, these things only really work in a loving, healthy relationship. You know, you need to keep the lines of you know, you need to talk about these things. You don't wanna, like, fly off the handle, but but but then there's this okay. So be soft and feminine always and be a high value woman.

I don't like that term. Now this is not this next one is not how it was worded, but I know what things mean. And so I'm translating. Okay. Essentially, she's saying I'll tell you what she said, but this is how I deciphered it. Mhmm. You as the princess, especially in conflict, you need to emotionally regulate yourself so that you can speak and say what you need to in a kind soft way. And if you can't be kind and soft, take a breather, come back when you can be calm.

But you make sure that you are calm so that your husband will stay calm. I was like, is he your child? I I did that with the the chill the children, you see. I stayed calm because I knew that would keep them calm. Mhmm. Now do I am I a rational human being who knows if I don't fly off the handle, you are less likely to fly off the handle? Yes. That is true. But that is not how that was talked about. That is not how it was described. Okay. She was like and this is what she said that I appreciate.

When you're in conflict, they pissed you off. Mhmm. They're mad at you. Whatever. Sort of the implication mean they shouldn't be mad at you. You're the princess. But when somebody is upset between the two of you, she was like, you as the princess, figure out what you need to say so that you feel like you have said everything on your mind. And then once you've done that, you need to be unbothered. That's why I said emotionally regulate. You need

to be unbothered. You don't need to be really upset or, you know, his hysterical. Not being hysterical got used a lot in these videos. And and by doing that, by being unbothered, he will be calm as a result. And I'm like, yes. If you stay calm, it is easier for the other person to stay calm. But when is it his responsibility to learn how to emotionally regulate himself and stay calm on his own long term?

Mhmm. What? So, yes. Basically, emotionally princesses emotionally regulate yourself so your man will stay calm and don't get hysterical over something. I was like okay. Because and there were several videos about conflict. Because it was like, how do I stay soft while I'm mad at him? And I'm like, sometimes you just fucking don't. Sometimes you're not mean, you're not cruel, but you just say the fucking thing. And we assume he is a big boy and has got his big boy panties on

and can handle you saying the thing. And you don't have to, like, twist yourself in the knots to say it in the princess way. And I say that as somebody who absolutely understands that in power exchange dynamics, you can negotiate to the best of your ability. How you're gonna try and approach one another even in conflict. But we are human? Yeah. Yeah. And sometimes a thing sounds great in theory, but then you try to put that, like okay. Now this one this one. Oh,

yes and no at the same time. Feed into your husband's ego to make him feel good. Now parts of how this was explained were, you know, let him know he's doing a good job, show gratitude, and give praise. But it was never expressed as do it because that's what you should do because he is working hard for you. Mhmm. It was he'll feel good about himself and then he'll be more likely to treat you like the princess that you are.

So we're not telling him thanks for being the provider because that that's a type of work, and we're grateful that you did it for us. But if we stroke your ego, you'll treat us like a princess. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I'm the Yep. Dress feminine. Now I did get some definition here. Okay. Okay? Alright. It's not satisfying. It is truly where I started going, I don't like this. To dress feminine, wear high quality materials doesn't have to she said it doesn't have to be wool or cashmere.

It just shouldn't look like you're wearing a wrestler's uniform. Well, that shiny spandex. The privilege was showing so fucking deep. But you know what? You know what? If you if at least one of y'all is making enough money where you can have Chanel ballet flats as a present and, you know, one of you can stay home and live this life of luxury, clearly, you have privilege. But again, she's not giving that caveat. She's not saying you're gonna need a whole hell of a lot of money to do this.

She's saying, to be feminine, don't do these things. So, high quality materials, no cheap looking clothing regardless of material, no unnatural colors, and no sequins. I was like, well, clearly, I'm fucking out. But okay. Okay. Fucking out. But okay. Okay. This is her definition. She thinks that you can show skin, but not too much. She literally said find the balance. And her examples were, if I show my arms and my shoulders, my dress will be a little bit longer over my legs.

If I show my back, it will not be low cut in the front. It's a balance. It's about being a lady. Yeah. Okay. Sorry. I'm so sorry for anybody who's got, like, a, the sound thing and I keep gagging into the microphone. But for as much as I was like, this has the potential to be like a really cool dynamic if somebody would just fucking negotiate it. Right. It's this part where I was like, I don't like it. Have a signature look. Figure out your signature

look. And, you know, as somebody who's, like, wishes she had a sense of fashion, I don't think that's necessarily bad advice. But if you've also said, don't use anything that I think is yucky and ugly and unfeminine, but make it find your signature look. Yeah. What? Right. Yeah. So that's that's how you dress feminine. Those are the definitions. Okay. Now, because it came up so often, I should have noticed the irony that multiple videos were about, I'm mad at him. How do I stay soft?

She had some advice for that too. This is compiled over a few videos. So no yelling. To stay soft and feminine in conflict, no yelling. No masculine energy, which was very poorly defined, but yelling, sharp tone, sarcasm, those kinds of things. I think I think fall under masculine energy. Don't play games within your anger, which I think that's good advice for everybody. Yeah. Again,

that's something that's kind of, you know. It's sort of like say what the fuck you mean and mean what you say and don't right. Don't fuck with each other just because you're mad. Right? And this one never got, defined. So I I'm go back to maybe the intended audience has an understanding. Don't be hysterical, which I think I what I took from that is don't be shrieky, don't be shrewish. Mhmm. Don't be screaming your head off. Don't be no histrionics, no over the top whatever

whatever. Now, if you if you are in a relationship where that is how y'all are typically in conflict, I would say, I I mean, I don't I think there's a problem with the relationship somewhere. Just in general, like, it shouldn't every argument should not probably devolve into that. But to say that you were somehow no longer a princess and you're not being soft enough, if you come out strong and hard when you're when you're upset about something. Mhmm. Because it

did not there was no, hey. If he's genuinely wrong, this you know, you might have a bigger response versus, oh, you wanna be right, but you kind of realizing. There was none of that differentiation. It was like no matter the conflict. So you're gonna tell me if this motherfucker cheats on me, has three babies I didn't know about, and two families in another state, I should say soft and calm in that? Yes. Apparently. Apparently.

She and this is a a thing that I appreciated as an individual thing and she did say it multiple times. Say your peace when you're in conflict, say your peace and then let it go and be unbothered. The only thing I didn't like was the let it go because it was not a you cannot change him. He's gonna have the response he has and then you're gonna hold a boundary

if you need it. It's you're gonna let it go so you're not harping on it And so then we go back to you can emotionally regulate your own husband because apparently he doesn't have to do it on his own self. I mean, that's not said directly but that is the implication. You're gonna be unbothered so you can kind of be his peace and be calm. And so he will be calm as a result of you being calm. Yes. That does happen that way. Mhmm. But

if But that comes a point. Every argument, I'm keeping your ass calm, but you don't have to keep my ass calm. Right. Like, what are we doing here? And when did you become my toddler that I was trying to raise? That that is a that's a yeah. That's no. No. I don't like that either. Okay. No. No. No. As a princess, you avoid sarcasm, loud laughter. I I knew immediately I was out. And other air quote, non soft traits that will now get this, embarrass your husband. Oh my god.

Which here's the thing. If you have to worry that you're embarrassing your partner, they're probably not the right partner for you. I mean, I guess you could be acting a damn fool and they are legitimately embarrassed. That's one thing. But if me have like, having a loud laugh made my partner who I've married and has said they're gonna provide for me and treat me like a princess made them cringe but they're also supposed to be obsessed with me. Mhmm. Like that's the

thing. The man is supposed to be obsessed with can't can't stop thinking about can't get enough of his princess. But I'm I can't have my natural laugh. I can't have a witty like, you're supposed to be this demure, docile woman, which is why, of course, people get pissed off about this princess treatment thing, and it is closely associated with trad wives. And yes, it is problematic. I'm just saying. I wouldn't mind if somebody tied my shoes every once in a while.

Give me the snark. Give me the sassie. I get it. Okay. You are supposed to be well mannered and understand etiquette. This was clearly another one of those, if you're on the in group, you understand exactly what she means by that. I'm not in the in group. I understand the term etiquette, but it's like Yeah. I immediately go to, but what whose etiquette? Like, miss Yeah. Yeah. Internet edit? Like High protocol. Thank you. Yeah. Like, who's who's standard? So I I do fall back on the I

am not the intended audience. And just like in kink where we kind of all speak a language, a a non kink person might not know what the fuck we're talking about. This is a situation where the intended audience who wants this will have an understanding, hopefully, of what the hell she means. But Yeah. Lay people like myself who are clearly not soft and feminine, we would not get it. Okay. Now this is where I stopped being kind of annoyed again because communication is encouraged.

She acknowledges if you want something's a specific experience or even a specific gift from your husband, you have to communicate that. And she shared a tip that I was like, oh, shit. Okay. She did this for Valentine's Day. This is how she got the type of she got the vibe on Valentine's that she wanted. She wanted a specific vibe. She wanted flowers. She'd like a gift. She did not Mhmm. Say what, and she wanted to feel like a princess. K. Cool. This was cool, though. She created a mood board,

sent it to him via text. This was not the first time he was used to this. Okay? So once he got it, he was like, is this exactly what you want? Or is this just the vibe you're going for? She's like, this is the vibe I want. Like, use it as a guide, but give me this this feeling on Valentine's Day. Okay. And I was like, that is great for direct communication. Yeah. Especially if you can't quite put it into words, you don't

really wanna put it into words. Mhmm. Or if you know your partner does better with visual, you know, information. Cool. But then she says No. She ruins it every fucking time. Then she says, yes. But it took me years to train my husband to do this for me. Which if you wondered, could princess treatment would the princess be the submissive of this if this translated to power exchange? I don't think so. I I yeah. I I yeah. No. I think that's I think that's the dumb right there.

Yeah. Now I put this under communication again, even though we've talked about it because it it is fascinating, and I appreciate that she is saying, keep yourself calm in these arguments. But she says, say what you need to say when you're upset and do it calmly. She says, and I like this because most people don't get this advice. Come back to the discussion later if you can't be calm initially. I need some time. Yeah. We'll come back to it. She says, I do it all

the time. She's like, just there are a lot of videos. She was like, just last week. Just last week. I was like, is everything good in paradise? Like, I'm nosy and curious. But I did not watch her whole fucking feed. I just focused on the princess treatment once. So who the hell knows? Yeah. But yeah. That is good advice, you know. Keep yourself as calm as you can. If you cannot speak about this calmly, take a break, come back to it. Coo. Coo coo coo. Coo coo. Love it. Yeah. That and that

that's, again, good advice all around. And then she follows it up, let me say again, with, but it took her years to train her husband. And here's why. Because she's never once and maybe now, especially now that she's creating content, she's got all this influence. I'm sure that hopefully they're not just fucking acting like this is a natural way, state of being. Because if you have to explain all the rules to it then it's clearly not natural. It's a it's a role you put on.

Again, perfectly fucking fine. We're all kinky around here. Right? Like, we put on roles every fucking day. But, like, and and none of this does she say sit your husband down and talk about it. She also does not really imply that they talk about it now. It's she trained him to to teach to treat her the way she wanted to be treated. Look, we do teach the people in our lives how we want to be treated. Yes. But that shouldn't be the only way we

do it. Sometimes we we do have to, like, actually say our words and go, this is this is what I'm going for. Can how how can we get here? How how can we make this happen? Okay. So in that, we're training him to give you the princess treatment. She suggests that you warm your warm up your husband to the idea of princess treatment. But don't I mean, there was one video. I wanna say if I'm I think I'm remembering accurately. Mhmm. Don't have a direct conversation

about it. Just warm warm him up. He will treat you the way you treat yourself. K. So there's there's a list. And some of this is not bad advice. Okay? Mhmm. Talk about yourself in kind, uplifting ways. That's great life advice. Yeah. I think that's wonderful. Everybody should. Right. Don't downplay compliments. And she gave the example instead of you when your your partner goes, you look really nice to you. And I've gone, oh, this old thing. Just she says, I go she says

she has two responses she'll give. Either thank you, appropriate Mhmm. Or I know. And I'm like that's sass right there. Like that's honesty if you know you look good Yeah. Just to go, I know. But her whole thing was, if you are putting yourself down, then your husband won't, like, won't say nice things. You're teaching them that you don't think you matter and so then they won't treat you like there was an implication there and I was like, that's uncomfortable. Yeah. I don't like that. But I do

like the fact that don't downplay compliments. Just accept them and, you know, you don't have to agree with them. You can just go thank you and move on. Right? The other. It's because we're training our husband now. We're not talking to him. We're warming him up to princess treatment. He will air quote naturally want to do these things for you. Because remember, he's a high value man who's very very masculine in his masculine and masculine is all. He's the manliest man who ever manned.

Clearly. So he will want to treat you like his princess because of that. Not because you talked about it. Not because you've expressed interest. Not for any of that. I I just had this this crazy image that this is like a way to sugarcoat a power exchange. Oh, sure. It's gonna be a power exchange. We're not gonna talk call it that. We're not gonna negotiate it. We don't have explicit and informed consent. People should just know Yeah. That this is how you're supposed to treat

me. Look, I love the fucking idea of being treated like the you know, a softer, more delicate version of myself and being able to be soft because goddamn of their times I don't get that luxury. Right? Right. Hold my hand when we cross the street. Let me just leave my purse at home. Let me, like, turn off my brain. How many submissives say that in different situations.

Right? That's why when I first saw, like, the random video that wasn't from this creator, it was somebody showing what Prince's treatment meant to them. I was like, did am I in the kink world? Because that that sounds power exchangey to me. But it's in the how that we get there where I'm like especially when she's giving good life advice sometimes Mhmm. But then pairs it with but don't actually tell your husband anything. Yeah. I know. Okay. I know. So we're back to you

because I mentioned it before. Mhmm. Give praise and show gratitude to your husband again to feed his ego, to make him feel good. Because if you make him feel good, he'll wanna make you feel good. Guess what? That is also true, but that is not the only way we do this. That should not be the only half. No. Like, yeah. Be kind to your partner and and, you know, let them help them feel good about themselves. Fucking of course. But it's so

transactional. It's like, I'm gonna put in thank yous and I'm going to receive you tied my shoes for me. I don't love that either. Now here's some really good life advice, I think, especially for somebody who, you know, wants to have that kind of relationship where they do as a wife, they devote themselves to their husband or whatever. This was good life advice. She's like, take care of yourself. Take care of how you look. Make sure you have hobbies.

Take pride in your home. Now the problem I had with it I had problems, if you couldn't tell. Is it this advice supposes that this is what you wanna do. Now I I'll give her credit here. When she was giving advice, she said, I wanted to be a stay at home mom and this is the kind of princess I want to be. She did not then say, but there are so many ways to be a princess. That's when she said, I'm not a trad wife because I don't wanna do this, that, and the other.

But I was like, but what if you don't care about doing all these home things and and the high high value people with all this money and privilege. You could probably pay somebody to do that for you. So Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like, the supposition that you want to take care of your home, again, if you do and you want that to be part of your relationship, I want that for you. Yeah. But this is more of a this is what you're supposed to do because you're a woman. You're a soft feminine woman,

and this is how that should look. Yeah. Okay. So now, here's a thing that I appreciated because it is true. Okay. She says explicitly, compatibility is important. I mean, I was like, how can you put these gems out where I'm like, I respect you as somebody talking about relationships and then you say this shit. What the hell? So she's like, look for a partner who wants what you want. I mean, she she says look for a partner who wants you to stay at home and be the provider.

Okay. But if you're not supposed to communicate to them what you want See this is Okay? Because they're gonna just do what they should do. Because here's where I think we fall back on. We I am not the target audience. You're not the target audience. Because in this sphere of the Internet and part of the sphere of the world, right, to say be masculine, be feminine, be a a high value man or woman, that's code to people who are already

trying to live this life. They have an idea, a picture in their head already before you even said the words of what that means. So she's speaking in code to the people who are really her target audience. Us outsiders Yeah. Especially those of us who are pissed, we're not it. She's not talking to us. She's telling other woman how to get what she what they perceive that she has because of the Internet. And she may have this

wonderful relationship. And again Mhmm. Short of could you please go get your husband's explicit and informed consent? Like, more power to you. But, yeah, to say that, you know, looking for a partner who wants what you want, that means they have to you have to suppose that they understand what you mean when you say you wanna be soft and feminine. Like, they have to have a pre disposed idea of what that is. What it is. Which, guess what? Here's where the problems

come in. You mean a man who was not the target audience, did not live that life of privilege, was not raised with that. There's gonna be a lot of confusion because you've you're also being told don't tell them what you want. Right. Just warm them up to it it and train them. Mhmm. Mhmm. Now this one I wrote down because I was like damn fucking straight. Look for a partner who understands that taking care of the home requires work and effort and appreciates that work

and effort. And that's solid. Yes. Yeah. That is for all genders. Yes. Right. If you were gonna be the one that takes care of the home in any way or you want support in taking care of the home and it's a team effort Cleaning, maintaining a home is good. Now she does add the caveats of decorating and making sure, you know, it it falls with with seasons. And and I'm like, oh, you're talking about people who have money or crafting skills, but still okay. Again,

I'm not the target audience. But I like that. I was like, yes. That is something more people in general, for sure, need to hear. But also, women who are saying that they are willing to give up a certain level of financial control for themselves and independence to be provided for. Yes, please. Let's let's make sure we're with somebody who acknowledges the effort you're putting in to do this stuff. Right? That's wonderful life advice. Some people were asking, but what do you

tell people? How do you explain this? You know, what if somebody else is gonna what are they gonna think? Right? And I immediately thought back to kink and when so many people were like, what are they gonna what should I tell people about them? Yeah. And you and I were like, you ain't got dumb shit if you don't want to. Right. That is a 100% her view. You don't have to explain yourself, your life, or what princess treatment is to you. You You just get to

live your life. And if people are confused, let them be confused. Right? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And this is another moment I'm like, Yes. I'm with you. I'm so with you on this conversation. Yeah. And then, you know, and then it gets ruined by saying something like, train your husband or warm him up or whatever whatever. So that was a long windy path of what Prince's treatment is. I did I did have some, like, talking about power exchange, specifically. I think we've we've touched on

these. Right? Yeah. The first one I want to touch on, and I I should have maybe I said it at the beginning, but it's been fifty five minutes now. I don't know. Prince's treatment, if that if there if you vibe with that, that should not be gendered. You might call it something else if princess is not the right term for you. But also, I think you could be the air quote this because it means something different to everybody. The most masculine human being on the planet.

If you wanna be called princess, honey, I support it. Like, be called fucking princess and get treated like the princess you are. Yeah. So, you know, for me, that's immediately the very first conflict between what this is as it's described by this creator in this viral moment versus power exchange. It is there are there kinksters who think, oh, all the men are doms and all the women are subs and they abso fucking lutely mean cisgender heterosexual men and women when they're using that. Right?

Of course, those people exist. Yeah. Way more of us understand any fucking gender can be any fucking role because Mhmm. There's there's no set of characteristics that match a role, which is, you know, that whole high value man and woman. And what what is feminine and masculine mean? Because it's too vague of a fucking word. Again, unless you know the code, you're part of this in group. You're like, oh, that's that's a signal. I know what

that means. The rest of us are like, what the fuck do you mean by that? Because it can mean so many different things. And, you know, if both people involved want that and they know that, you know, they that they apparently have their little code words and stuff, and that's fine. We have our code words too. Right. You know, if that's what they want, that's fine. You know, it's not something I would seek out. Right. Right. Okay. So, you know, but the parallels Mhmm.

Between princess treatment and d s is It's definitely there. And I think and I get why feminists on the Internet of all genders got so pissed because it is it is that stereotype that says women are supposed to be this, men are supposed to be that. It assumes heterosexual relationships and the roles that are, you know, a given. Like, that's not a choice. This is just what you do because this is who who you air quote are. Right?

Whereas yeah. Like, one of the things I put in my notes is any power exchange dynamic, this could be applicable to because you open doors for me. Correct. You know? Would I let you tie my shoes if I was, like, sexy and, like, it meant something? I probably I'm like, okay. That's, you

know, because it's a power thing. Right. When I first heard about Prince's treatment and what some of the activities were, my one of my first thoughts was, oh, I wonder, because I don't know enough about it, how much that the activities parallel, like, the fifties housewife thing. Right? Right. But I'm sure there are parallels because, like I said, I don't know enough about that dynamic.

But there is the the fifties housewife dynamic tends to be somebody who is like, I'm I don't know how to say what I think might be different. Maybe I just won't because I I could see how people could do everything word for word here and make it part of their house you know, their fifties Mhmm. Dynamic or whatever. Because but I can also see caregiver little dynamics being like that. Because and any type of submissive because how many

submissives get called princess? Yep. I we sell we get a lot of requests for shit with crowns on it. Okay? Yeah. There are a lot of y'all that are princess out there. Mhmm. But yeah. I agree. This could be any this these activities Yeah. Could be any dynamic. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Absolutely any dynamic. Let's see. And like anything else, you know, it's it's a spectrum. Yes. Absolutely. I've sweated through my hair. The other thing, it was absolutely touched on the live chat

comments when I could glance at them. That was four pages of notes down. I ain't gotta look at comments so much. There is no talk when describing princess treatment of what in a fulfilling way is in it for the man. Now let's be real. He gets a clean fucking house. He you know, he all he has to do is go focus on work. He's got a wife that hopefully he thinks is very pretty and he's absolutely in love with her and they have great hot sex if that's what they wanna do.

Like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But like, because he this the man in this situation, from what I can tell, is never explicitly asked, do will you treat me like the princess? And this is what I mean by that. Right? Right. And that's where, of course, it differentiates from power exchange because both sides of the slash and power exchange are receiving something for this. Now what they're receiving could be completely opposite to what their partner is receiving. Right? Yeah. Or have different a different

meaning for each of them. But everybody's receiving something that is hopefully 99.9% of the time equally fulfilling. Yeah. Maybe completely different in the fulfillment, but fulfilling for everybody involved. The man in this situation, because this is very, very misogynist. It's very sexist. You know, he's got a lot of benefits there. But when I think back to the very beginning, when we're talking about what Prince's treatment look like. That's a lot of fucking work

too. Mhmm. Now It is. Showing gratitude and praising, absolutely, should be part of it. But what happens when he don't wanna do that anymore? What happens when he gets sick? Or is he supposed to repay her for that time that she had to take care of everybody and him? That repayment thing fucked me up, man. Yeah. Yeah. I was inconvenienced because you weren't here to do things for me and treat me like the pretty, pretty princess that I am. So you have to

pay me. And yet he's on that trip for work to provide and Yeah. There there's some there's definitely some problematic parts. Yeah. But that's the thing I'd be curious about. Like, do I want, up? No. I don't want a supposed HV man. I can't even say it anymore and I don't wanna gag in the night of nowhere. An HV man. I don't we the manosphere already tells us what they get. Get. Whatever. Yeah. Thank you. HVM. HVM, whatever. The manosphere is already telling us what they

get. They get the ego boost. They get the this. They get to that. But that's for the people who are in on it. They know Mhmm. They know. What about I know there's probably not a lot of them. But what about the unsuspecting guy whose wife just found a TikTok, went down a rabbit hole, and is now training him to do all these things for her? Like, I know. I know there are people of any and all genders who get great satisfaction from taking care of a person they care

about. Sure. I'm a service fucking sub. I get a lot of satisfaction. But I also have full ability to go, I have a migraine. I am overwhelmed. Right. Oh, daddy, my my cup need my well needs to be refilled. I've been giving a lot. Right? If there's no avenue for this man who maybe wants to take care of his wife in this way to say, I I need to rest. I need a nap. I need a Right. You know, I need a I need a break too, especially if you were doing all of the things for her.

That's a lot to do for somebody. I know there are dons out there who do that for their subs. And I'm assuming you have talked about it, negotiated it. Everybody has the freedom to withdraw consent at any point, and you can change the terms as long as you can both agree on things. Right? That's the fucking difference, though.

Yeah. Yeah. Man, you you gotta be some kind of fucked up to make me feel bad for nameless, faceless men who get to be considered a HV man and have a a pretty little housewife. Like, I mean, are we in the upside down? Like, I am very sympathetic to cis cis men. I'm raising one. Okay? But damn. How how is it I'm looking at this privileged life going, I feel so sorry for him. He does not need my pity, but shit, he needs some lessons on consent negotiating. Right.

And making sure you are receiving as well as giving in a relationship. Yes. And, you know, I think ultimately, that is where I am the most like, for all the little things that make me go, what the actual fuck? That is the part that really bothers me the most is you could have this life. You could have it vanilla. You could have it kinked. Mhmm. But just have a fucking conversation about it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. This whole train your husband warm him up.

There I don't remember if I said it because there's four pages of notes. But there were definitely, like, he should just know. He should just know. He should he should just know that you need this. You want this. This is how you're supposed to be treated.

You know, if you if you really think about it, and I pointed it out, I think a couple times now, you know, some of the stuff, you know, you you don't tell your husband you do it because they just know what to do, but yet you need to find somebody compatible. So it How did you even do that? It contradicts itself. Well, and that's why I go back to this is a very specific type of world, type of Yeah. Potentially conservative. I'm sure there's some non conservative people and maybe just little c

conservative people. Like, it's not necessarily political thing, who this is a this is a shared experience and shared language. There's code Mhmm. Is part of it. You know? This means something to a very specific type of person who's probably, in some ways, already immersed in this way of thinking. And those of us who were like, yeah. We are rejecting all of that shit and also twisting it to work for ourselves and make it kinky.

You know, that maybe we just don't like, I'm not meant to understand what the fuck that means and a certain type of man might, especially, god help us if he's what's it called? Red pilled? I've that's not a thing I ever wanna have to talk about. Even though we probably should because I know that there's some of those air quote alpha guys who are using the language of kink to get their air quote naturally submissive female partner. But that's a side tangent. That's not about this.

But yeah. It's like be treated like a princess. Have that fucking life. If you are privileged enough to to be able to afford that level of it, I'm like, you do you, baby. Mhmm. Yeah. Absolutely. How are we doing this and never having So that's Princess treatment versus power exchange. I mean, I'm I'm I would I'm not gonna lie. I would at some point when my brain does not feels like Swiss cheese, would love to have the conversation about how

I can feel more princess like. Because, you know, it's funny because when I'm when I'm watching the, like, surface level videos of people just showing this is what Princess Treatment means to me, it is all turn off brain. Oh, yeah. Don't have to think about it. Don't have to make one more decision. Don't have to carry one more, you know, emotional labor or or the invisible labor of running the house. You just get to, like, shut that down and let somebody else take

care of you. And that is attractive to a lot of us regardless of gender. And I would love some of that. And those kinds of reels, they, they like, I'm like, oh, maybe I need to send this to my daddy because here are some examples of some things I would like. Yes, I would love to, like, have a little bit of that more often in life. But fuck, I'm gonna talk to you about it. Yeah. Let me see if she wants to go in. Sure. So I guess princess treatment is not, in my view, is

not inherently bad. To want a relationship where one of you is treated like the pretty, pretty princess that you are, I think you should have that. I just I I hate that it is so tied up in stereotypical gender roles because that just leaves out so many fucking people. I hate that it's so prescriptive. This is what a woman is. This is what a man is. This is what masculine is. And just the lack of clear communication. I just don't understand how you can give such

good advice on. You need to say what you're feeling and tell them, get it out. When you are upset, let them know. And you could say that on the one hand, on the other hand, it's like, but but don't tell them you want this. Make them figure it out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. That's I made my throat hurt, and I'm hot and sweaty now. So, And did I bring in a hair tie? No. I did not. No. So, are we good? I don't know. I don't know. But we're here. Here we

are. We are. Okay. Keep it kinky, y'all. And we'll see you not next week, but the week after. Lola's howling. You sent her to the other room, and she's howling. Yeah. Oh, brushing up against the mic. Exactly like she wanted to go to bed. I think that she thinks it's time that we should all be sitting on the couch. That's true. And she was trying to let you know that we need to all leave this room and go where the couch is. So yeah. Yeah. Prince's treatment and power exchange.

There's so many elements that I'm like, oh, that could be so fucking kinky. That could be so cool. That could be oh, yeah. That's we have already pulled that in. Not we, you, and me, but, like, kinksters in general. We've got that shit in dynamics left, right, and center. And and yet, because there's no nuance on the fucking Internet, if a kinkster was talking about their version of Prince's treatment and it happened to go viral, people would condemn it just as much, if not more Right. As that.

Because what how and why would somebody choose, air quote, that choose that role? Well, because we're allowed to if we want to. If you can find a compatible partner who's willing to Well do that with you. Taishu pointed out a very good thing in the live chat. Even the rewards are gender stereotype based. Eco boost for the man, physical and financial gifts for the woman. Yeah. I didn't even make that connection, but yeah. Good

good kit. Good call. And yes to I can't see it because y'all y'all got chatty. Manipulation. Yes. It there's a lot of manipulation happening. Absolutely. Absolutely. Problem. Yep. Yep. Yeah. So I'd be very interested. Comments, other places where we can be contacted. If somebody is living there, the kink version of this without all the the, like, problematic parts, like, you know, what do you do you have a name for your dynamic or is it just power

exchange? That's just how you express it? Is it part of a caregiver little thing? Is it, you know, is it the fifties housewife thing? Like but yeah. Yeah. So now bonus section. See, I really did get invested in this topic and so now it's kind of all I can think about. I could y'all, I said this in our Discord that you can access through our Patreon. I could write a college essay now on princess treatment. The the notes I took. Yeah. And I sat through so many TikToks.

The only way I could watch the TikToks without creating an account or signing into an account, because I know you used to you have an old account. Mhmm. I had to go on an actual browser, like, through Google, do a search, pull it up, and then I could I could find it. And she's got a lot of other content, and you could see where she went viral for a while and, like, all her views, like, phew, spiked. And then she's kinda, like,

Now leveled out. And she doesn't just talk about princess treatment, but whole playlist. So yeah. So bonus section. Yep. Why are we not having an episode next week? I have to tell this story because Go ahead. Tell this story. Not that big, but it's sort of like a what? Who was anybody communicating with anybody else? The 19 year old who will be become the 20 year old this coming Sunday. Fucking wild. How do I have a 20 year

old? Anyway, he is moving out of his, current apartment because he's leaving the apartment complex and he'll be moving in to a different apartment complex. Now these apartments are in a college town and they are set up they're not dorms, but they are set up set up like student housing. Thank you. I love you so much. Podcast listeners, JB got me a hair tie.

So it's a shared apartment kind of thing, but they also have a gap between if you are leaving that complex, what move out day is, and if you are coming into a new complex, what move in day is. And it's like a two week gap, which makes sense. They gotta get the empty spaces cleaned up or, you know, repairs or whatever, so for a new person coming in.

So we have known this whole time, once he decided he wanted to leave that complex, they were raising his rent by way more than he wanted to pay, which I don't plan. Mhmm. That he was gonna the move out date's like July. How many days are in July? I don't know. But the July. He was gonna move out the weekend before that because we are helping him move. He's only got his little bike that is a round town bike, not a get on the highway and do 65 bike. So we were coming to get him

to move him out. I said we when we get there, I am not packing a single fucking box. Get your shit together. Be ready for us. We'll help you move the boxes. We won't help you pack the boxes. I'm not packing shit. Anyway, so we've always known the plan was gonna be we picked Sunday, the twenty seventh. That was the day we were going to get him. Nobody had any things that we no. Actually, we were we have game night that night. But it was gonna be at night. It

wasn't gonna be a big deal. We're doing this all in the morning. Anyway, he gets a notice from his apartment complex today that he is being relocated to a different apartment in the complex starting the twenty third, which is next Wednesday, because they're doing doing a remodel in that unit that he lives in. But his official move out day is the thirty first. So they put that notice in for everybody who lives in that apartment, that specific unit,

and not everybody's leaving. So I understand they're like, we're just gonna shove you over here, and when we're done, we'll bring you on back. But he literally had a fucking week, and I was like, they could've delayed this by Yeah. To move out day and just timed it all. I'm I'm sure there's a reason. So he texts me and they and sends me a copy of this letter and goes, what the fuck is this shit? It's like, that's how I know you're my child because

that's the appropriate response. And so we scrambled and went because he has to be out by 9AM on the twenty fourth. And I was like, I don't want to have I don't wanna get there so early on the twenty fourth for you to be it to be empty Yeah. At 9AM. I said, so we'll be there on the twenty third. And then after I said that and changed the U Haul reservation and changed, a vet appointment for Ella and made sure that another appointment for the youngest did not conflict with how long we

think we needed. Then I looked at the calendar and realized it was Wednesday. Never dull moment. No. It's gonna be very interesting. So, yeah, he's coming home four four days later than we originally planned. There was always that gap, and I totally get the gap. I just don't know why they wouldn't have timed all of this with their own upcoming gap. I I don't know. I

I I wanna believe there's a reason. Well, judging from what I've seen when we last time I was up there with you, they are literally gutting the apartments, carpet. New owners came in, what, last summer? And they did not raise, rent rates last when they came in, but they added a bunch of amenities. So we everybody knew, increases were coming. And they started remodeling rooms, which needed it. Desperately needed it. I mean, it wasn't It wasn't terrible. Wasn't terrible, but yeah.

It looked like student housing. So yeah. So it's all just been bumped up a few days, but Yeah. I was in this weird headspace and I was like, I should never say to the universe, please not one more thing. Right. Because the universe will go, I will give you Hold my breath. Two things. You didn't want one? Not a problem. I won't give you one. I'll give you two or three. Here you go.

Have fun though. Yeah. So, yeah, we were just like, I was like, I already feel like I'm scrambling and my and my brain already doesn't like that feeling. Like, I had this mapped out in my head of how I thought this was supposed to go and we're pivoting. And now I've got that, friends, episode in my head. They're moving a couch down the stairs, and Ross is like, pivot. Sorry. Sorry. Went off on a a tangent. A tangent there. Yeah. That's okay. But I'm not neurospicy.

It's fine. Anyway, so I just it's gonna be fine. He's gonna get moved out. He's gonna be home. We will all three be sharing the one car, and he still has classes in Gainesville. Yeah. He's taking a summer course. It's gonna be interesting. It's Monday through Friday. And he has a class. I think it's, like, at either ten or eleven and then a class at, like, one or two. So smack dab in the middle of the day, which I didn't really get the implications of until I need Ella went to the

vet today. That's a moment that she had today. Yeah. And I needed to reschedule next week's appointment because we're going to be moving him on the day and so I'm talking to the lady at the office to find I'm like, I need morning because afternoons, there's all kinds of shit going on. Like, I need morning. But I had like, I'm looking for eight, 08:15, 08:30 because if he's got a class at ten or eleven, he's probably getting on the road at nine, 09:30. And I'm like,

oh, for three weeks. It's actually two weeks because the last week before he can move in, class will be over. He won't be in a class. He'll be fine. I was like, okay. How many how many lifts am I gonna have to schedule? Should we rent a car? Not that he could drive. He could drive the ratty old one. I don't know. It'll be interesting. Yeah. No. He wouldn't we wouldn't be able to. He's he's too young. Yeah. No. And I wouldn't let him anyway. We're already nervous about him driving the ratty old

car. Because in that ratty old car, he's had two accidents and gotten three tickets. Right. And last time we let him borrow it, we went to pick it up, and it had a flat tire. That flat tire was not his fault. Well The tickets and the accidents were absolutely his fault. But, yeah, it's just the the I know. Whole karma thing that He's a better driver than he used to be when he's not depressed over the end of a situationship. That's I'm not going into that. It's not

my business. That's his business. But I had I chose to ride in the car with him while he was going through it. And I was like, no. No. We won't do that again. Yeah. No. That was my mistake too. We won't do that again. I regretted that. Like, there's literally his two parental figures in the vehicle with him, and it it never dawned on him not to push my 13 year old, a 110,000 mile car beyond 80 fucking miles per hour. I'm like, wow. You really don't give a fuck, do

you, kid? Alright. He doesn't. He really doesn't. Mister Spock, no. We had to stop and get gas too. Oh, yeah. My my child no. That's not true. One time. No. He One time he brought he gave me the keys back and there was guy he he was a it was my Mother's Day or my birthday present. He's like, I got gas for you. Mhmm. And look, I remember being young and broke and feeling like hot shit when I could, like, pay for a thing. I bought my mom the McDonald's Diet Coke. I did something. Look.

I'm I might be 46, but I still get that thrill. I'm like, sure. I'll buy you this drink, mom, after she just paid for the lunch and we had an appetizer. Whatever. Whatever. It's fine. So, yeah. That's it's gonna be a little chaotic for a couple weeks. Well, you know, Silent in where he is for school, he could actually take the bus for free. Oh, yeah. He can. When he's living in Gainesville, he can absolutely take the bus. He he hates it, but

he can't. Mhmm. But in where we live, there is a bus system, but It it's scattered. It's not mass transit enough. No. No. No. No. And to get from where we live to where he needs to be for school But, yeah, the the the university town that he's in, they have a a very Apparently, they not just for summer, but for budget cuts. Cut the schedule, though. I know. There's tens of thousands of students at town, but sure. Cut the bus schedule before the fall semester.

Anyway, but Ella had to reschedule an appointment for her. Ella, After the litter fiasco of previous, bone resections, she was still peeing funny. So we're like, let's let's get her to the vet. Yeah. And we know she has to be sedated before she could go. Both the girls are very spicy with strangers, especially if you start poking and prodding Ella. She's like, I'll let you cuddle me until one wrong move and fuck you. And then

then I'm done. So she gets sedated. We got a whole different kind of, gabapentin for the sedation, which was cool. Wasn't remembering two pills. It was just one Yeah. One blah blah blah, whatever whatever. She was she's high as a fucking kite. Her pupils were so big. Big. And she was a little wobbly in her her carrier.

And I left her in her carrier for, like, when they didn't need to deal with her, it was like but then when they did need to look at her, I was holding her and she was leaning into me and she's like Mhmm. As docile as Ella is capable of. And, apparently, she, has the hots for the vet too because she was like, I'll be your best friend now. He's not a dumbass. He was feeding her treats. Finished he emptied out the cat treats. He was like, oh, you're getting my last drink.

He was just steady putting treats up right over to get her shots. And she was loving him, and I'm like, same girl. Mhmm. And so she was the sweetest precious baby during the year. Work with Onyx. No. God, no. There when we get her in, they're really gonna knock her out or Twilight Sedation. Anyway Yeah. So then for the blood blood draw, they're gonna try and get a urine sample. They're gonna try and get a fecal. They're gonna

do all this stuff. They're like, do you mind if we take her to the back? And I'm like, no. You're gonna have to take her to the back, but you go do what you gotta do. Yeah. And however they're set up back there, they must have been, like, fairly close to the door because I knew the moment they started doing shit she didn't like because Ella has a very distinctive meow, and she was voicing her displeasure. And then she was pissed. I heard that. And then I heard,

oh gosh. And I was like and it got quiet. And then I heard Ella being so mad, so mad. So the the doc the vet comes back in and he goes, okay. Look. He's like, we only were able to do enough of a blood draw for one of the tests. She has hit her limit. She is too stressed out. I don't even think I would trust the results if we tried to continue taking blood and, you know, to get all these this testing done. He's like, so what we're gonna do is we're gonna reschedule you for, like, next week

and give her time. And this is all we'll do. We won't do a full exam. She'll get stressed, but it she'll just this is it. And I was like, okay. And, of course, they give her back to me, and she's just looking at me like, I don't know what the fuss is about. I'm fine. But, yeah, I I just I looked at the vet and went, oh, I'm so sorry. And he's like, no. That was us stressing her out. And I went, I knew I liked you. I didn't say that, Tammy. I'm not Yeah. I'm weird, but I'm not, like,

weird where people can see it. We're stranger. In my vanilla life, I'm not weird where people can see it. So no. But yeah. Poor Ella. And I've gotten so spoiled with JB going to when we do go to the vet, JB goes with me. I'd actually forgotten exactly why he goes with me. He goes with me when we take Lola because Lola does not listen to me the way that she listens to her daddy. Okay? I mean, when he says sit, we both look around for where we can plant our asses. Dom voice works for

people in dog's life. All y'all. All y'all. Yeah. But I had forgot you have gone to you you just go to her appointments with me, and I had forgotten that I had said I need you to come with me. She if she pulls against me, I'm screwed. So when he was clearly not making plans to go to the vet with me for Ella, I was like, are you going? He's like, why the fuck was that? Right. Like, because this is what we do together. We go gawk at the hot vet together. You did miss the opportunity. I I know

that. And I know that. I'm I'm well aware of that, the opportunity that I missed. And it was a good opportunity. It was looking good. But I I was I was playing with sharp things. I'm pretty sure you can play the Sharp Things with the vet too, but that's that's a different kink, and y'all should negotiate that. Yeah. Yeah. I did say when we nobody has to go with Onyx other than to drop off because Onyx will not take medication. You cannot hide medication in her food.

If anything smells even slightly different, she just won't eat. Right. There is no hiding it. She's like that even if it's like a different batch. Like, when when Friskies made the food that day, they did something different. There there was there was, just recently last month in the in the, box, one flavor of the food, they changed something, and she would not touch it. That girl knows her smells and her taste, and you cannot fool her or fuck with her. So we can't hide medication and food.

She is also very difficult to try and hold. You get one shot to grab her, and you better mean it because so the idea of trying to shove medication down our throat, like, we can't even fathom it now. No. So I was like, can can somebody tell me what the cost would be? She needs her wellness visit. She needs her full checkup. She needs her rabies shot, blah blah blah. But we are not gonna get the sedative in her at home. It's not gonna happen. So, like,

yes. We do this, and it's a twilight sedation, and you drop them off, and they give them a shot, and it sedates them. And then wait for them to be fully sedated. They do the stuff, then they wait for them to come out of it to make sure they're okay, and then you can come pick them up. And I was like, I'm glad she's a relatively healthy cat. Knock on wood. It stays that way because it ain't cheap to do that one. I mean, it's not cheap to go to the vet anyway, but it's an extra, probably, a $150

just to do it that way. Yeah. But she also hasn't had a good checkup in a couple of years. So She's due. She's due. She's due for it. She will, I promise you, not speak to us for Oh, no. Three to five business days after that appointment. She will be so mad at us. So mad at us. Mm-mm. So Yeah. You know? Mhmm. I'm looking at Lola now. Yeah. Because Lola is next up because something's up with her back paw. Yeah. I was reading I was reading a poster at the vet's office.

It was a medication advertisement, but it talked about osteoarthritis. Mhmm. And every every symptom it listed, I was like, oh oh, yeah. That's our girl, Lola. Well, that's that's just like two. I, you know, looked up the other day in the, hip dysplasia. Yeah. You know? And, At least we can take her ass to the vet. Yeah. I mean, the the thing was she has always limped to some degree because of the leg that had been shot. Mhmm. You know? But now she's This is her back leg. Yeah. So Yeah.

Yeah. This is the summer of vet appointments Mhmm. Which I was look I was looking at the history because I was looking at Ella's history. When we get the receipt from our vet, they always show, like, the last appointments they've had. And, yeah, it tends to be a summer thing. Mhmm. As long as by the end of it, everybody is as as healthy as they can Right. And doing well, then I'm Yes. Yes. Yes. Then I'm good. Mhmm. Yeah. But, yeah, that's our life right now. And if we I got nothing.

Would we like to go back down the riboholoprinsis treatment? I could do that. That's on my brain. Talk about my animals. Yep. Can do that. That's on my brain. Mhmm. I'm gonna be a parent of a 20 year old Yeah. As of Sunday. Yeah. See, the way we do this, I have done this with him. I set it, like, back in the day when I used to post on Facebook literally nineteen years ago. But I would post it, and then I as he got older, I started saying it to him. And I think last year, I

did say it to him. It's always it's not just the celebration of this child's birth. It is also the celebration that I managed to keep him alive another year because that that baby was the experiment. I had y'all, I am such an only only only child, only grandchild. There were I had no cousins. I didn't the first baby I ever held was my own. The first diaper I ever changed was that child's diaper. I was clueless.

I am not I was never one of those kids that played with her dolls and tried to be, like, do the mommy and this is my baby. That nope. Nope. Nope. That was never me. I was like, I think maternal instinct is a myth because nope. So, yeah, those first few years, it was a miracle. Like, he he was relatively healthy. We kept him safe. He's as mentally well as a human can be in the year of our lord 2025. Like, he's good. But, yeah, we we're not just celebrating his

birth. We're celebrating the pure luck of keeping that shot alive. I did I did have to modify it when he went off to college. I was like, I don't actually keep you alive anymore. You keep you alive, but, you know, I'm here for backup. Right. So, anyway, 20. Goddamn 20. Mhmm. You know, and I I know I'm not alone in this. I know my chronological age. I know how most of the time. Sometimes I think I'm older than I am, sometimes I'm living in younger, but, like, I vaguely know I'm still 45.

But if you had to ask me how I feel on a on a good day, I would, like, in my brain, I'm still 25. But 25 is when I have that child. So to like, the concept of him being 20, like, my brain goes, that's not possible. Having a hard time wrapping around this. Yeah. What? Yeah. No. On a bad day, I definitely don't feel torn. Yeah. It's actually, like, not my not not what I feel physically, but it's like a mental age. Like, my brain was, like, you're between 25 and 30, clearly. I clearly am not, but

yeah. Yeah. As y'all could tell, I could keep rambling. Yeah. Of course. I should probably stop, though. I mean, we couldn't yeah. We'll be back again Friday night. We will be back again Friday night. I hope y'all will be here with us. If you're like, I've never done a Friday night. What is it like? It's like this. Y'all, it's like this. Except there's a lot more back and forth with the live chat. Mhmm. A lot more back and forth with the live chat. True. True. True. So yeah. Excuse me.

I oh, goodness. Baby got a bobble. Pardon me? Do I need to burp you? No. I still remember how to to do that. I learned the right technique. I had to have a second child to learn that technique and stop getting spit up on me, but I did a bunch of work. Anyway, I was always, why would anybody let me have a child? I don't know what I'm doing. Kept him alive. He's fine. He's mildly thriving. Anyway, I don't know. Well, I don't know if

I need an adult beverage Mhmm. For Friday or if I need an one of the special chocolates. But I'm gonna need something to force you back. Made the martini like I said. You never did? No. No. You didn't we should sell we'll celebrate a belated birthday Yeah. For you. Mhmm. And if you don't have enough of the ingredients to make me a martini or or you want to, don't you worry. Just put some vodka in whatever I'm drinking, and I'm there with you. You're with me. Having a good old time. There

you go. See? I wanna try the Tom Hanks thing. I don't know how old that video clip is. Did I send it to you? I sent it to you. Where he's a Diet Coke drinker. I knew I like Tom Hanks for a reason. And he was at some something and it was champagne and he had them pour champagne in his Diet Coke or he whatever whatever. He made his own cocktail with champagne and Diet Coke. And apparently, that shit's delicious. And I'm like, I'll try that too. Well, that's right.

You sent me the, the real. Because it's from the Steamboat there. So Mhmm. Mhmm. So, okay, we're gonna go. Okay. If you're still here to this point, we really appreciate you. We always appreciate you hanging out with us. Everybody. Yeah. Because I still I cannot fathom that people are like, yeah. Yeah. I'll go listen to that crazy lady on the Internet. That'll keep me occupied for an hour and a half. Y'all are my people, so it works. So, yeah, we'll be back Friday, and we'll

take a week off. Mhmm. Blah blah blah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Bye. Good night.