Let’s Talk About *Gestures Broadly at the World*

You're listening to the Loving BDSM podcast episode four seventy. Kayla Lords here with the one, the only, the I'm I love you, and I'm glad that we're doing this thing together both in general, like the bigger picture, but also this specific episode. True. John Brownstone. I'm so glad to say your name. Who am I? Well, that is the question we all have to wrestle with at some point in our lives. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe multiple times. I know. We're not that's that's not really what we're

talking about. But, you know, in a weird, like, existential metaphorical way, we will it's weird. That is it it all connects. That's all I'm saying. Actually, this week specifically, because I know unless I change the title from the time of recording to the time of putting this episode out, some people get it. It's a vibe. Gestures broadly at the world. Y'all know. We're gonna be talking about some of what's going

on. I say the world. It's The US primarily, but the entire world is impacted we're gonna be focusing on resources of, like, how do how do I help? What do I do in this time of seeing all this awfulness going on around me? That is what we're focusing on with talking about the state of the world.

Plus at the very end, we're gonna answer a question we were asked ages ago, but we needed to be in the or the right, mindset for this, which is can you have a power exchange with someone you disagree with politically? Yeah. This episode this week's episode, I'll probably say this later when we get to, like, the main episode. I'm gonna say it now in case I forget. This episode's gonna be broken up into three main parts: the oh my god, what's going on in the world? Here

are some resources. We're gonna try and help you help yourself help the world. Then we have what we consider a happy announcement that should not be political, but parts of the world disagree with that. So we're gonna talk about that, and then we'll get

into the question. We I will try to give you time stamps if there are bits and pieces you're like, I would rather avoid some of this parts of the conversation or if you just want to get to the because while I want everybody to be engaged in the world around them, I also know that there are very good reasons that some people need to tune it out. So consent matters to us and all things including this. So if you're like, uh-oh. I I I wanted to answer the question but that's all

I want to know. I'll try to put in specific, like go to this point in the podcast to listen to that thing you want. Okay? Yeah. Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, glad to have you in it. Both is and isn't usually like this. If you're back for another week, welcome back. Loving BDSM is produced every Monday and Friday for your kinky pleasure in education, and show notes are found at lovingbdsm.net. Come back often and feel free to add

the podcast to your favorite podcast app. I'm not sure if this is the episode to say, hey, please rate and review us on your preferred podcast app, but why the fuck not? We gonna keep it real around here. That's for damn sure. You can also follow the show on FetLife at lovingbdsmpc. PC stands for podcast, y'all. On Instagram and technically threads at that handle I will forever motherfucking hate with the passion of a thousand fiery suns. That is loving d s and the number

one. So at loving d s one. On blue sky at lovingbdsm. Blah blah blah. Or on YouTube at youtube.com/lovingbdsm where you can watch us live stream the podcast every Wednesday. All links are in the show notes. Okay. Wait. We go. Okay. So I'm doing this because you have to walk the line between being, like, a good human citizen of the world and also living under capitalism. Brief reminder. Brief reminder, that we are having our Patreon membership drive right now.

And if you join now through the February, you get stuff in the mail sometime in April. I'm not gonna go into a lot of details about it other than, our Discord quite frankly, our Discord server is sort of what gives me the strength to, like, I'm gonna do those To power to the scary thing. And I'm I will defend the audience who should not have to justify their existence because people suck. Like, that that's giving me some moves there.

But we're gonna talk about donation stuff today, where you can if you have the cash to do something and you're like, how do I help the world? Like, that kind of thing. And quite frankly, and I mean this we have our own on YouTube, fundraiser running. We'll talk about it in a minute. I mean this truly, bottom of my heart. If you've got an extra $5 dollars to spend and it's between us and a cause that's important to you, please give it to

Yeah. The cause that's important to you. We will be okay and we're gonna keep showing up. Okay? Yeah. But, technically, it's a membership. I just wish the world would like let me keep a schedule. Okay. Okay. Good luck with that. I know. So that's all I've got to say about that. So to be real Mhmm. We don't bring up specific politics politics specifically, often. We don't in bonus sections, Shirley, and when I just need a moment to vent, you if you have paid attention, you know

that we don't like the, current administration. We did not vote for them and will never could never could not be me. But we don't, like, stand up and go, here's the thing we stand for. Right? Because we try to live our politics. Because our politics are attached to our ethics, morals, and values. That is not gonna be enough for some people. And because I've gotten the emails and comments before, it'll be too much for others. If it's too much for you, you should just nope out now. Okay? Because

you'll be fine. I will be fine. And before I get anywhere on any platform where you can communicate, just stick to kink. Why do you have to make it about politics? My baby, my precious sweet summer child, kink is political. For all kinds of reasons, but let me break it down on a person to person if you did not know this. There are 100% people who can lose their job in America for being kinky. I have met and talked to more than one person who lost custody

of their children Yes. Because their FetLife profile got them and was presented in In court. Yeah. I don't know how much the law has changed over the past few years, but a few years ago a judge in it was either Virginia or it was North Carolina, it was one of those two states said you do not have a right to BDSM. So even consensual fuckery, if if you get picked up by the police, if somebody decides to prosecute whatever whatever Yeah. So kink is political.

Kink and sex. Sex is not automatically part of kink. They are two separate things, but they often get go together politically and then with people's lives. Right? So people are kinky and it's sexy for them, blah blah blah. That is heavily politicized. There is an entire section in Project twenty twenty five that was about how do we make the scary bad sex stuff go away. I have not heard about current legislation in any state

level or federal level. If anybody has, feel free to send me the links, because this rest of the world has overtaken news feeds and right? Mhmm. That hasn't happened yet as far as I know. It's coming. It's been happening. I've said this before. It is regardless of administration. There are people even in your own political party, whichever one that might be, and you think you're, like, quite liberal, who would like the sex and kink stuff to be to

go away. Yeah. Right? There are people who say that, cis women cannot possibly fully consent to be submissives. Yeah. Yeah. Like, there's some shit. Kink is political is what I'm saying. I here in Florida, you cannot access, porn unless you Unless you have a VPN. Yeah. They they have outlawed, porn here in the state of Florida. Even as adult, you cannot really watch it. Yeah. They've outlawed it. You have to prove who you are. You have to prove who you are, but you have to jump through hoops

for it. I don't wanna give any site, even a porn site, my whole entire government identity. Well, yeah. I mean, that's that's Not the way it's being done. Yeah. Anyway, that is probably outside the scope of this conversation. Right? That's our point though. Yeah. Your very existence as a kinky person, regardless of any other part of your identity, is inherently political. So yeah, we get to talk about politics. Okay. So we do want to like I said before, we try to live our morals, values, ethics.

We try to to be those people and embody that to the extent that we know how. We are constantly learning. We're trying to always do better. Over the years, I know OGs have heard my voice shake when I have to try and learn how to say something in a new way because I don't like to be bad at stuff in front of people. Okay? But we are gonna take this moment, in part so I can clip it and actually put it out everywhere else, to make

sure that we are very clear. So if you thought you were in a different place than you are, we all know where we stand. Okay? So can I go down the list? If I forget anything, you jump in. Trans rights are human rights. Drag queens were never the fucking problem. Read a goddamn banned book, please, I beg you. Abortion is health care. Please please say gay because in Florida they don't want you to. They have Yeah. They have laws against they're trying to have legislation against them. Mhmm.

Fuck ice all the fucking way. Absolutely. Fuck ice. The only ice I want is in my goddamn coffee. I know. They're ruining the ice thing for me. Nobody's illegal on stolen land. Right. Let me be very clear. Yep. Absolutely. If you're not committing crimes, I do not care how you got into my country. I don't care that you're here. Right. If you're working, you're raising a family. I I don't I don't care. I don't care. Murders are being committed in the streets.

Black lives matter. And let's also be clear that, what we're seeing is not new. There are just some of us who are not used to seeing it and, having to worry about it. So that's where we stand. I did I forget any? No. Not really. I think I covered everything I meant to. There's definitely more than two genders, but we've always y'all have always known we know that. Mhmm. Yeah. So that's that's what we're coming from. Now this Yeah. Floor you know, I I'm I'm just gonna go into something real

quick. I want you to have your moment. You know, Florida and, unfortunately, Texas have been a proving ground for some of these laws that they're trying to push through at the federal level. Florida is not the Florida I moved to in 1981 in no way, shape, or form. They are trying to repeal, the Fair Wages Act that the people voted in several years back, and they are trying to circumvent that.

They are trying to enact a law that if you speak out against the government, whether it's local, state, or federal, you can be labeled as a domestic terrorist. That is what they're trying to do in Florida right now. And, legislation that happens at the state, if it can pass, it then gets copy pasted around the Around the country. Now that's Florida, other wherever you're living. God, I hope you're in another country that

has better laws than we do. But if you're in another state, your state will be handling things differently, or maybe similarly. Maybe you are in a deep red state like we are. -Yeah. -Okay? We're gonna offer some things that maybe can give you a place to, like, go look and see what can I do to help the people in my community, okay? That's the whole point of this. We don't don't we could JB and I are, at this point, probably over informed about some things,

obsessive on some levels. We really probably should take an Instagram break for a couple of days. Let's be real. I don't want to get too much into that, because that is not our area of expertise. And also, we could we could record for literal hours and still not be done. But also, I don't I'm not a this is a boundary we're placing. Okay? You get to think whatever you wanna think. You go say whatever you wanna say. But we are not going to get into debates

with people over our politics. That's not up for debate for us. That's not in question for us. If I thought there could be a a good faith conversation about policy, I might consider it, but that's not how the Internet works. So if you decide to put thumbs or just all your fingers to a keyboard, tap tap tap, tell me exactly how you think I'm wrong, you will be talking to yourself because I don't give a fuck. Okay? In the live chat during the stream, my moderators are that delicious kind of evil.

Like, they're great humans in general. They wouldn't be our mods otherwise. Mhmm. But they do love making sure things are taken care of in the live chat. So they get to they get to do their thing with MP and E. Okay? Because my concern is one, nobody nobody's got time to be to having these back and forths because they don't change anybody's mind. And that's not what I'm here to do. I'm not here to change anybody's damn mind. You're gonna think what you wanna think and if you align with

me, cool. If you don't, you get to decide what to do about that. But I know in our audience there are people who are in any number of marginalized communities based on any different part of their life and identity, and they should not have to watch other people debate their very fucking existence, and they should not feel compelled to have to come into a comment section and justify their existence. And I will not I will not engage with that on their behalf. K? So

just to, like, set the boundaries. Do I sound like I'm yelling a little bit? Is my blood pressure up? Yes. Politics has always been something I struggle to talk about, but we live in a different world than the way I was raised in, both politically but also the way things get talked about. Also, we don't always know what we should do with it but we know we have the responsibility of a platform. Right? And there comes times for us where we can't just, like, bitch about the things

we don't like. We gotta do something like this. I don't think this is our first time ever doing this. It's just the first time in a while. Yeah. So I'm sure there are things I wanted to say and that I have forgotten. That's okay. Okay, so we are gonna start with some of the things in the news and point you to some places. I have a shit ton of notes, okay? First of all we're gonna start with I'm saying Minnesota because if you are even slightly aware of the

world, you know what that means. Renee Good's death, Alex Prady's death. Those aren't the only two people who have died throughout all of these ICE raids. They're the ones we know about and are the most immediate right now. And it is not just Minnesota. I've I've linked all my resources and all the places I'm pointing you to in in the places, show notes, and, description box in YouTube so you can go see this stuff for yourself. Current plans and I think almost immediate future plans

for ICE raids. We've got Florida. They are currently in Orlando and Tampa. Tampa and Miami. They were probably elsewhere in the state, but those are the big ones. Maine, I've seen about Portland. California, they're all over the place. Let me be clear: Keith Porter Jr, a black man was killed. Was it New Year's Eve or New Year's Day? Yeah. Presumably by ICE, but there's not a lot of reporting. Thankfully some of the people I follow have talked about that.

New Orleans and South Mississippi, Chicago, Charlotte, North Carolina, Memphis, Tennessee, Denver, Philadelphia, Phoenix, Atlanta, Seattle, New York City, Washington, DC, and the one that I went, what? San Juan, Puerto Rico. I know. I don't know why I went what. I think that might be my own, like, lack of education, but I was like I mean, Puerto Rico is is American territory. Like, I but they are Americans. But I was like, if you're picking up black and brown people

Yeah. Like Well, you know, it's funny, during the first term when that hurricane hit Puerto Rico, you know, and it they were ignored because they don't really not really at all. Oh, the amount of people who don't realize Puerto Rico Rica or Americans is so maddening. Anyway, we're not getting into that. So if you're like, how do I help the people? How do I help people in my own city, in my own town, in

my own state? Okay. Minnesota specifically, if that's like you're drawn there, there's a site called standwithminnesota.com. It has got a shit ton of resources of ways you can donate, give, volunteer, whatever. And you can go by your subject matter area

of preference. So if you want to help with, food panthers, if you want to help with pets, if you want to help people who need, you know, need help paying their rent because they can't go to work because they're terrified of being picked up off the fucking street. Whatever. It's there. It's a massive site. There's tons of stuff. It's all specific to Minnesota. If you want if you're looking more broadly or you're trying to narrow it down to your location let me let me scroll

here y'all. There's a site called welcome.us. It is all about being welcoming to immigrants. There are all kinds of ways to get involved. And then the one that I liked because it gave options, by state, is called Win Without War. They're Immigration and Mutual Aid Resources. This is not comprehensive for every state, but if you're like, I don't even know where to start, find your state and see what's there.

If that's not enough or you want to do something different, I did this for our area and came up with some resources so I think everybody can do this. Google mutual aid near me or your city name or your region name and Google. You have to get past all that sponsored crap and the AI crap, and then it should start giving you some options where you can put your time and attention. Okay? And those those organizations need all kinds of things. If you've got dollars to give, feel

free to donate. If you've got time to give, if it's like a, hey, we're, you know, taking food donations or your gently used coke donations or whatever. Whatever you've got where and that that's your thing and you're like, this is where I want to focus my attention, just pick one thing. And that's the overarching thing I wanna say because this all gets very overwhelming. Because there is so much need, so many places, for so many reasons.

Pick your one thing that you're really like like, this is my thing. This is this is what I'm passionate about. And then figure out what start with one thing that you can do, that you can reasonably do without causing harm to yourself. K? Mhmm. Now let me back up. I meant to say this earlier. I did mean to say this earlier. Here's my opinion of this. When I'm offering these things, I am talking to people who are probably a lot like me. You're cis, you're white, you're straight.

You've never had to deal with what the system and the state and the government can do to you and how they can marginalize you and make your life a living hell. That's who I want to make sure I'm like, here's what you could be doing and please maybe pick something. If you are a part of a marginalized community, I want you to survive and thrive. If you get involved in cool, cool, cool. That that's a that's all. That's a you choice and that's what works

for you. But this white lady's not gonna fucking tell you that you need to be doing something. Okay? I want you to survive and thrive and do what you gotta do to get through this crazy lot. So just just whoever I'm lecturing, I'm lecturing the folks that look like me and JB. Let's let's be real. Okay? I am lecturing us. So let me put that in there. Okay. Should put that at the top. Now that's the whole ICE raids and the the current thing that is it's painful to watch.

I shut down over the weekend. I start crying. I just it was Wow. It just that's that's how I handled it until we got to this point. Okay. So there's there like I said earlier, pick an issue you're passionate about and then figure out the thing that maybe you can do. I'm gonna go through some things. Okay?

Because I know if you're like me and you scroll through your social media platform of choice and you get on that side of the algorithm, maybe it's like minded individuals, your politics like that, you're siloed in that and it's whatever, they're all kinda yelling and screaming at you. And I can I find it very overwhelming at times? Mhmm. So maybe we can break this down. If you have extra money and you're willing, donate. Y'all, $10 means a lot to these organizations.

If you can set up a recurring thing, cool. Great. Our the charities we tend to donate to, we do not donate often. We don't always have the money to do that. But when we do, they are LGBTQ plus rights organizations, specifically those helping the trans community. That's our thing of choice that we're like Yeah. We're gonna put as much of our time and attention as we can here. Okay? So pick your thing, if you've got the cash. If you don't,

it's okay. Not everybody can do that. The donation thing I saw over the weekend, people were like, you can't you don't there's no protest for you to go out to. You cannot physically get to a protest. You don't you if something keeps you from volunteering, do you have some cash? Because that will help these organizations render aid to the people who need them. Right? One thing we do a combination of, and there are different ways to do this, we sign petitions. We contact our representatives.

We do it through email primarily, but phone calls. The last time JB did a phone call, he cussed out the senators. I I I got a little, my blood pressure went up a little bit. Yeah. I mean, it was delight ball. It was delight ball. I'm a traitor. I think you dropped a couple f bombs. And yeah. Jamie might be on a list somewhere, but that's fine. The cool people are. Okay? I'm just saying. Now for anybody who just completely clinched over the idea of a phone call, I feel you.

Here's my theory on it because I'm getting there myself. If all you can do that you feel like I can do this consistently is sign petitions and send emails, there are organizations you can sign up for and they'll send you links of, hey, go send this letter to your senator or your house rep. Right? Start there, and if you can work up the phone calls, cool. Because there's stuff to help you with that too. Yeah. There, you know, I use ResistBot. Yep. That's one of the ones in

my desk. It is it is a fantastical thing. It when there is a letter that, you know, you for a cause, it tells you tells you what the cause is, lets you read the letter, so you don't even have to write anything. Mhmm. I, you know, I I want to send these letters. I know I'm not gonna sit down and write them. Right. The ones you have sent, I just edited for you. That's true. You you edited You did letters to the editor. Yeah. That's another option you can use for your local area. And,

they are they are great. All you have to do, you know, you read through the letter on your text, and then you hit you have your choice of, phone, fax, or email. The free one is email. Free free email is free. You don't pay for, like, coins or or credits, you can do other things, but free is email. And I've always used the free option. Yeah. And that's what I've used and and it's a fantastic thing. Mhmm. For phone calls, I saw it in the live chat and I used to have this question too.

You can go to, there are websites for the Senate and the House of Representatives, but five calls. The number five, the word calls, it's both a website and an app. So if you want to do everything on your phone, you can. If you want to use desktop, whatever, you can. You put in your information of where you're located and they then tell you who your representatives and your senators are. They give you the phone numbers and they provide scripts.

So if you're like I can do a phone call, but what the fuck do I say and who do I call? You don't they will help you with that. What I have learned, even though I've I I haven't gotten I haven't worked up the phone calls yet. I admit that I'm not doing the perfect thing. Phone calls are gold standard because they count they have to count every phone call that comes in, and you can, like, flood the system and, like, fill their voicemails up. Now, I will But And

that's Everything matters. Yeah. Emails, letters, all of it. Now, I will say this, and and this is something that, kind of struck me as gold a little bit in in, reference to the phone calls. There are some people who do not like to make the phone calls, that do, you know, do not want to talk, call on the weekends. You're gonna get voicemail. You're gonna get voicemail. Just leave it on voice mail, and they still should do what? I hadn't thought about that. I could leave

a voice mail. I pray for voice mail every time I have to make a call. I could do So, yeah, if you call at nights or on the weekends, you're gonna get voice mail and leave as long as the the voice mail is not If the box is full, then you can. But if the box is full now I'm gonna tell tell my my fellow, red state folks who have only conservatives representing you. It if you feel like we do politically, it can feel like it doesn't matter. They're not gonna change their mind. Right? Right?

That is true. But here, closer they get to an election as more people yell at them. So you might not change their mind. But maybe you can make them worry about how that election's gonna turn out for them. Just saying. Just saying. With the resist with the resist bot that I like I with all the cock a going on, I almost send a a letter a day. Really? I didn't realize you were no wonder you're on your phone so damn much. Yeah. I didn't realize. I did not respond to

a couple too many resist bot things. I've been doing, online through emails that are coming through. Yeah. And, they stopped messaging me. So I should probably go back in and be like, hi. I'm here. What's the issue? What's the issue of the dump? Another thing you can do, we do this, we do it either through social media and or email. We follow organizations that we believe are doing good work. So for us, that's ACLU, Indivisible, Equality Florida. Equality Florida is near and dear

to our heart. We'll get to that. Okay? They often send out emails or have sections on their websites of, like, here's the issue that we're trying to push back on. The current one as of recording is to get the Senate to pull out the DHS appropriations bill from the bundle of bills, pass the other bundle of bills Yeah. And deal with DHS. That's a big issue to try and get concessions. You can we cannot defund DHS with this appropriations bill. They got funding.

For days they got funding. But this thing could make it so that maybe they don't wear fucking masks in the goddamn street. Just sayin'. Just sayin'. Anyway, so when you find an organization of choice that's your that hits the thing you care about and you want to help with, get on their email newsletter, follow them on social. We were sitting at lunch today and Equality Florida had a post about some Florida legislation that's some bullshit legislation. And they're like, link

in bio. And I'm going, Jimmy, link in bio, and right in Instagram. I'm sending a letter to my senators. Yeah. So, that's a way to do it that you're already on your phone. You're Right. You're doing something. Something is better than nothing if you have the the wherewithal. Right? So and again, you don't have to do all the things we're talking about. Any one of them that's like, oh, that, oh, I mean that. Just like Let

me stick with that. You know, just like Kayla said, there there are times I need to step back from it all because it does become over overwhelming. His blood pressure gets so high. Yeah. And and not just my blood pressure, but it it, you know, it affects my depression. It's hearing a lot of this stuff. You know? What's going on? And and I do. I there are times I just need to step back. I don't look at any news. I don't look at social media.

TV doesn't go on unless I'm watching something like Walking Dead, but you know, We gotta finish watching Percy Jackson. We gotta do that too. You know, so, you know, you do what you can comfortably do. Right. You know, without harming yourself. Right. And that there's a fine line because Yeah. Again, if I'm talking to the cis straight white ladies of the world, we we can be very comfortable very easily because many things don't impact us. And so you do have to get comfortable with being

uncomfortable. Yeah. But I do think start with where you're at. If all you can if all you feel like you're able to do is to sign petitions or to send emails to your senator, to your House rep, to whoever, start there. Because, man, it it feels kind of good. You know? I mean do it enough and then after a while it becomes easier to do something else to add on. You know how we talk about with kink, please start slow, start with one small thing and build up?

This is kind of the same thing. If you try to do all the things all the time all at once, you'll burn yourself out and you'll be a wreck. I mean, no. That's not helpful. You know? One one thing I did right off the bat, I decided I'm no longer buying from Amazon. Yeah. We haven't spent on Amazon since the inauguration. Yeah. Yeah. And it it since saw that person up on the, you know, I stopped. Was it hard? A little bit. We actually use Amazon as a search engine. Yeah. We need a product,

we wanna see what brands make. And that's now what it's come down to. You know, importantly, you search for some something to buy online, Amazon's gonna be right there at the top. Right. And I use it. I I go to Amazon. I find what I'm looking for, then I go and search out the the company. Yep. And often they are on another platform. Right. They are on another platform or you can buy directly. And And let me do a disclaimer. We do spend with Amazon for Kindle Unlimited. True.

But it's $12 a month, and I read an average of 30 to 40 books a month. I believe they're losing money on me. And I am supporting indie authors. So that is our one concession. But buying like, being on Amazon Prime, we stopped out a year two years ago. That was a a money thing. That was just a broke bitch thing. The buying from Amazon, we went, this is a choice we can make. And then let me remind you, we're not saying everybody else needs to go out and do that.

Like, everybody has access to different things. We'd love to boycott all of the companies we disagree with. Mhmm. We would not be able to buy groceries. Things. Yeah. We just so we make we pick and choose when it can I think both companies do this, but the one that I know for a fact when it came out that Home Depot was working with ICE to pick up people who are in their parking lot trying to, like, get some fucking work, We have them in the Home Depot sense?

Right? Like, those are choices we make, and only you can know what's right for your situation and your family, but the not spending money, like And and that's a not doing a thing Yeah. Instead of doing a thing. And we have we live in an area that as, we have, the option of still local, hardware stores. Yeah. We do. We do. Yeah. You've been going to a lot of local places. Yeah. Been been doing a lot of stuff with, local businesses. Yes. Yes. And, look, let us get our bias out right

here. Thecancery.com. When you can, shop small business. Right? Like, just in general. It doesn't have to do with us. I'm just saying. If you can, that's that's also helpful. And it's a thing you're doing that maybe doesn't feel so hard. And I think that's the thing. A lot of people get very in their head about all the really hard things there are to do. There are slower, smaller, quieter things that make a difference. Okay? Because it's not one person has to do

everything to fix everything. It's everybody who can does one small thing and you've made a slightly better world. So, there is the stay informed. Like, you piggyback. You piggyback before I got there so good on you. -Yeah. -Um, we believe in social media breaks. I do not I personally cannot in good conscience, pay attention to nothing and stay ignorant about it all. It doesn't it doesn't feel right to me. But I do have to know my own limits

and go, wait. I literally can't concentrate and do the work that keeps our mortgage paid. I probably need to put like not go into Instagram for a little bit. But when you're staying informed, there is a lot of bias. Yeah. Things are being labeled fake media that aren't necessary or fake news that aren't. Some things that should be labeled fake news are not being labeled that. There are books out there you can read.

I just today I didn't have time to, like, look through all the lists and link things here found several posts by creators who were like, here are some books so you can learn about these things if what you want to be is more well informed. Your news source, my current preferred news source, is Associated Press. For two reasons, they are usually where some of the stories and even your local paper come from. An Associated Press writer probably journalist probably read it.

And two, they're on their app I can read every news story they publish and they don't put they don't put it behind a paywall. I do not have to pay to access the news from the Associated Press. Yeah, I know. So that is an option. Where was I? I gotta find it on my list. Oh, okay. Organizations you support, follow follow them on social media, your preferred platform if you can, if if they're active there, if that's even helpful.

And then I have a we have a handful of creators, content creators That we follow. That we follow because we feel like we're being informed without being terrified Yeah. Without the hype and and yelled at Mhmm. Or being sold to in some way. Yeah. I have linked to everybody's Instagram on these people we're gonna talk about, but they they are on other platforms. Two, I know for a fact are on YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube, you can just find them in the same

app that you're watching us on. My absolute favorite I've talked about her before. It's her name is Amanda Nelson. Her handle is amandas mild takes. Mhmm. All one word, no spaces. She gives she'll tell you about, like, what's happening in the Senate and the House and politics, but she also gives historical context. Yeah. She was the one that gave me the reality check that the shit we're seeing now is not new in America. Yeah. We have been this way for a very long time, and that was great.

It was eye opening, it was also grounding, because there for me, thinking this was a brand new evil, how what do we do about it? We don't know what to do. Blah blah blah. That was overwhelming. But going, wait. We've been dealing with these people this whole time, and we've been pushing them back, and we've been fighting and and sometimes winning and, like, working very slowly, not fast enough for a better world. Okay. I can breathe again. I don't like it. I'm mad about it, but I can breathe

again. And the other thing I like about Amanda is she's snarky as fucking shit. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. She has no time for fools and, oh, make she's one of the few people who can make a pun. And I'm like, no, that's actually a good one because it's snarky as shit. So Amanda's small takes. When JB gets really riled up in the news he's seeing because our our algorithms sync up a little bit, but there's differences. I'm like, go watch what Amanda posted today.

You'll feel better. Yeah. Yeah. And it helps. It does. Another creator I like, his name is Jay Bowie. He is a New York Times columnist. He has a YouTube channel. I've seen him on Instagram. He's probably on TikTok because most people are. He gives good calm, well thought out analysis on what the fuck's going on. And he's like a sweet guy to, like, listen. I I he just seems like a nice guy. A parasocial relationship there. I'm like, aw, you seem nice.

But when I listen to him, the the topic might be maddening and raise my blood pressure, but the information makes me feel like I walked away going, oh, I have a better understanding of that. I have more context. I'm looking at this maybe from a different angle than it was presented in another post or another news story. Mhmm. Jay Bowie, b o u I e. A new one for me, but I like her so far. She's called goes by Kate underscore ForThePeople. I watched a reel with her just yesterday or day

before and she said I'm an independent. I'm not Republican or Democrat. I I fight for the legislation. I fight against the legislation I don't like. I fight for what I do like. Her whole thing is she'll do videos showing how she calls senators and reps and what she says to them, to kind of demystify it, maybe make it seem a little easier for folks to to try on their own. She also

breaks down legislation. She'll also talk about where things are in the House or the Senate and the process part, and I've really enjoyed that. The last one on the list is, your recommendation, Jess Craven one zero one. Craven with a c. Two s's in Jess. What do you want to say about Jess? You know, she does a she does a lot of things. She, has a way of bringing stuff to your attention, and there are times she comes up with different action things that you can do.

One of the things I like about her, about once a week she does a like a compilation reel of different news good news, you know. Yeah. I've seen some of those videos. Mhmm. You know, she she works with a lot of different content creators to, bring a lot of that stuff in. Mhmm. In the live chat, things are mentioned that definitely are worth a mention. PBS, local news stations, local radio, NPR. -Yeah. -Um, PBS for sure. If you still have PBS in your area and you want a cause to donate to,

Help PBS out. Yeah. How many of us grew up on watching all of the, fundraisers? Man, I always wished my mama would spend some money because I really wanted that t shirt mug tote bag set. Seeing seeing them all up there in phone banks, you know? Oh, my god. Yeah. Well, PBS, the corporate of public broad Corporation for Public Broadcasting had to shut down. They lost so much funding, if I'm understanding that correctly, if I'm remembering that correctly. And PBS lost a shit ton of funding from the

federal government. Yeah. There's a lot that's lost a shit ton of funding and that could be an entire fucking episode. I'm not an expert. We don't have time. But if you're looking for a place to spend time, money, effort, whatever, PBS, Local PBS. For when when the news was felt like it was peak craziness right after the inauguration last year, we were like, we want to stay informed, but I cannot watch these people yell on CNN or MSNBC or I I cannot do

this. So we started watching PBS NewsHour on YouTube. Like we didn't even pull up the channel. We just watched it on YouTube. And it was so I've been around like I don't watch cable news very often now. I used to. I used to watch too much of it. And, when it kind of first started becoming a thing when I was, like, what, teenage years, it was usually on somewhere. And God help us, we're in the South. Everywhere I go, Fox News is on a TV in a lobby somewhere.

Yeah. But it's all that yelling back and forth. I get very overwhelmed by that. PBS NewsHour? Nice. No. They're just talking to one another like adults. Yeah. Civil conversation. Imagine that. Even when they clearly don't agree with something. Right. Which, you know They're kinda how it should be. They're professional news broadcasters, so you're not really gonna see if they don't agree, but they might push back on something. Yeah. Yeah.

I sometimes I need a break from that too, but that is where if you want to watch the news, we'll watch it. So yeah, if you can donate to PBS, your local PBS, please do. The other one I saw in the live chat was, something that a lot of YouTubers and podcasters and people, you know, who make reels and TikToks, promote, which is called Ground News. Yes. I've never tried it.

I'm kind of curious. I might go in one day, but what they do is they aggregate news and then let you see the what's being written by the left leaning, what's being written by the right leaning, what's being written by the Moderate. The the organizations that are considered Mhmm. You know,

in the middle. Yeah. And then you can see how things are, like, leaning, or maybe something that you might care about is not being covered by like, for us it would be left leaning journalists or or outlets, and you've learned that, wait, there's a thing that nobody's even talking about over here on the right or in the center. And it's and the thing, Hank Green, because he got mentioned in the live chat Mhmm. Because he talks about it

a lot now. What he said he likes, because I didn't know this either, is when you see the story and you go to click on, like, the headline or whatever to read more, it takes you to that company, that Wherever it was originally Thank you. What are words? I don't know. So that, you know, you're not it's you might find a publication that you're like, oh, wow, I like getting news from them.

Here they are, you can support them. From an internet creator perspective, that's very nice when something links to your actual site. And and, you know, not I've also heard, Amanda Uh-huh. From Amanda's mild takes Mhmm. Talk about ground news, Jon Stewart. Yep. You know, a number of people now. Oh, yeah. Jon Stewart's podcast. Whoo. Yeah. Sometimes he it stresses me out because he's talking about serious shit, but sometimes it's it's really good stuff. Very informative, the people he has

on there. I've I've been listening to it Yeah. A bit too. His podcast is the weekly podcast with Mhmm. Jon Stewart. He had a conversation with a Palestinian author who, is able to travel from Palestine to America, has a lot of family in Palestine, and he was talking about what his family experienced over there. And I just I this was in the summer. We were mowing the lawn. I was listening to this podcast, and I was crying while mowing lawn. It

was it was tragic. It was awful. But he has those kinds of conversations and then he talks to like he did an interview with, Governor JB Pritzker. Illinois governor? Was Pritzker Illinois? I think so. Yes. I can't remember. Somebody cracked me. Yeah. You know? And he he and he, if if you're aware of Jon Stewart, will a 100% push back on somebody he don't agree with. Mhmm. So there's there's lots out there, and some of that's personal preference and who you vibe

with and all that stuff. Like, I'm waiting for John Oliver to get back from his break to start the new season. Right. I need him to both depress and amuse me. Thank you very much. We watch something we watch it through HBO Max, but it's available through CNN Mhmm. Called Have I Got News For You? Oh my god. I can see the host face in my Roy. Roy. I feel awful like a host face. We've watched this conversation.

It's comedians and politicians or journalists that come in, and you get a highlight of the news, and you get a moment to laugh about some of it. It's let off steam. It doesn't take away from the importance of things, but so that's all I mean, we're throwing a lot out there because we are probably a little too connected and probably, like, need

to go touch some grass. But, The my point is is wherever you like to consume information from, there'll be somebody out there who is not trying to terrify you. They're trying to inform you. Maybe they're trying to help you laugh through it. Maybe they're trying to help you, like, stay calm. So you and the calmness is so that you can go do whatever the thing is that's important to you to do to help with whatever. Right?

The calmness is so that you're not walking around all the time going, oh my god. I think the world is ending right now. Right? Because those feelings are valid, but it's very hard to function through that. And part of how you push back against and ultimately defeat regimes Mhmm. Is you don't just survive, but you thrive. You find moments for joy. You keep living to the extent that you can. You laugh at the fucked up headlines because of the way the comedians are talking, whatever it is. So,

yeah. My thing is is if none of our suggestions appeal or you're like that's too much. How do I find somebody on my own? Here's my criteria. Do this what you will. If all they do is yell at me, if they tell me the headlines in a breathless, like, are you ready to be terrified kind of way Yeah. And no. There's another one. They don't give me something I can do. Right? They don't say, here's what you can do about this, whether it's now, in the moment, or in the future. Right?

And they don't show their sources on the green screen to show me the article or link or, you know, list the URL and the caption or whatever whatever, if they don't cite sources, I find them questionable. Because tell me where you got show me or tell me where you got this information from. Right? Because those things, when somebody does all they're yelling at me and they're making me anxious and and they're not telling me where they got this information from,

I'm stressed now. And that's not helpful. I can't function. So feel free to, look for folks who are matter of fact, cite their sources, aren't afraid to show you where they got the information from, and are not Yeah. They're tell might be telling you scary things, but they themselves are not actively trying to terrify you. Yeah. Algorithms love our fear and our anger. Yeah. Things including especially incredibly false things travel so fast when we're angry and afraid.

And that's how misinformation it's one way misinformation gets spread. Yeah. So I seek out creators who inform me without freaking me the fuck out. I have found that to be the best way. I do wanna mention volunteering, because that is how I kind of started really more focusing on what the hell's going on in the world around me. I write postcards for election campaigns because there's a lot we need to do, and I do believe electorally voting is part of it. Not everybody agrees

with that, and that's fine. That's fine. That's what I believe. JB has worked with our local Democrats here in the county. Here in the county. And that that's like, I do postcards. I can do that from home. It costs money to do. So if you're like, when we were on a tight budget, I couldn't. Yeah. There have been times I couldn't. But when I can, I do? If you're interested in that, because it is a thing you do at home by yourself. Do it naked if you want. Nobody gives a fuck.

Here are the three that I work with most often. They are linked in the places. Postcards to Swing States, Activate America, Center for Common Ground. They have other activist work. If you're a person who likes talking on the phone, teach me your Waze because I couldn't be me. They do phone banking or they'll do text banking or the there's different ways to get involved if you are if you are interested in helping with elections. Right?

JB has done we've done not a lot, but we've done a few different things for our local Democrats. Mhmm. We sent postcards out for a local candidate who did not win. I was very sad. Yeah. He was he was he I think he was a good candidate. Just Yeah. Dimms don't do well in our county. You did social media at an event. We signed up for an event where our entry fee was a donation Right. That there's hopefully gonna do more of. Like Mhmm. It doesn't have to be all the time.

In our county they will do their monthly meetings via Zoom so you don't have to even go to know what the hell's going on in your local and that's assuming you're into electoral politics and, like, you you identify as a party. Like, a lot of people are independent and are like, I don't give a fuck about either party, and that's cool. Like, I I'm not gonna I don't have an opinion on that. Right? We do. We align with the party, but you don't have to to do any of

these other things. Like not a damn thing do you have to be part of a party to give a fuck about what's going on around us. Right? That's just where we tend to put our time and energy. Let me just reiterate because this is a lot of information. I did not did not know it would take me this long to get there. If you are so inclined and you're like, I feel like I need to do something. Right?

And you're like, but I can't do it all and I can't do the thing that erases is the the perfect thing I should do, like or is the only thing that matters. Like, don't listen to people who tell you that there's only one thing that matters and can change the world. They're lying to you. Pick one cause you care about. Pick one thing within that cause you think you can do. I heard somebody say online the other day, it's what you can do sustainably, consistently. Consistently does not mean constantly.

K? Maybe you can volunteer somewhere and you can only do it every few weeks. That's more help than they that organization had before. You can only give $10 every couple of months. That's $10 they didn't have before. Right? So yeah. That's the thing I would say. With anybody who is looking at the world right now and going, what the fuck is happening and how do I stop it? Okay? Let me give just reminder of a reality check for people who look like me and probably people who look like JB.

This is not new here in America. No. This is not this has been building in its current form for decades. And these things that we're seeing, these horrific things that are playing out in real time on our fucking phones, some form of that has been happening for decades and centuries. Yeah. So Yeah. Sad. Sad. Very sad. Right. I don't ever I don't want to lose sight of that because it's real easy to think this is a brand new thing and it it's really not. Yeah.

Black people have been fighting this fight in America for a long goddamn time. Mhmm. So that is the fire hose of information I have. Yeah. Is there anything you would like to add to this portion of today's episode? I think the only thing I'd like to say at this point, and and it's, something that I have been, reminded of from George Carlin. I wish he was alive for this time. I know. You know, he he made this statement, and it's absolutely true. It is easy to lose your rights.

No. It's not that easy to gain them. No. So. No. People fought for centuries and decades for rights and still didn't have full access for a long time. Right. The other thing I'll say for anybody who's skeptical about the voting thing, saying voting doesn't matter, let me a couple things. One, if if it didn't matter, they wouldn't be trying so hard to keep you from voting. We wouldn't hear about people being taken off the voter rolls or,

voter suppression stuff. Right? The gerrymandering where some states are trying to have all red districts and some states to combat that are, like, I gotta have some blue districts. Right? If if it wasn't important, they wouldn't try and rig it. Yeah. For anybody who's like, oh, well, they're all the same. There are a lot of some there are a lot of things that piss me off about Democrats. Okay? I might vote that way, but man, some of this bullshit. Yeah. Fucking Chuck Schumer.

Anyway, what I will say confidently, I don't know what what Kamala Harris would have done, but I know if she had won, ice raids would not be happening in major cities. People would not be deported without due process. People who have been killed would probably be alive right now. And all of us in this fucking country wouldn't be paying out our asses for tariffs that have been one of the reasons prices have gone up. That's not the only reason.

But that is one those things would not have happened if votes had gone a different way. So I don't I'm not gonna strong-arm anybody and, like, bully anybody into you gotta fucking vote. That's a personal choice. I didn't I did not turn 18 and go register to vote. Okay? I was almost 30 before I ever registered to vote. My mother, I wanna say, was in her fifties before she registered to vote.

So I know it's not a thing everybody's gonna but I just I I just want to, like, piss somebody off and point that out. I I registered to vote as soon as I turned 18. You're a better human than I am. And, I voted every election since then. Up until I met you, I was a registered independent. Yeah. I I started as an independent and then I learned you can't vote in a primary where you might want to vote, and I was like, fuck that. I want to

vote in the primary. I want to make sure the person I like gets an extra vote. So that's when I changed my affiliation. Yeah. Mhmm. Mhmm. Okay. Anything else about this section? No. Okay. We we have become, like, not obsessed, but we've become very, like, focused on the science of we really could just keep complaining about things we don't Yeah. And sharing stuff that we've learned. Yeah. We, both do a thing when we are looking at information online.

If we can't personally verify it, we haven't gone to the source or whatever whatever, we do caution each other with, I don't know if this is true. Take this with a grain of salt because so much shit can be fake as fuck. So so this thing we want to talk about, I hate putting it here because it feels like we're politicizing this, but I'm being political.

And quite frankly, this has probably made me even more focused on politics because, you know, I'm not gonna be even more focused on politics because it was always important, but now it's like So I'm pretty sure I know some people know because I've had conversations and some people probably get it. But we're just gonna say it because I also don't want to ever make to ever feel like we didn't want to talk about this. That's not it either. We have not we've for years talked about

how we had two boys. Two boys. Two boys. We were wrong. We had a boy and a girl. Yep. Our youngest is trans. She is adorable right now. It's all social stuff right now. New glasses, new haircut, different name. Her favorite color is pink. I'm like, why could I have been purple? But that's okay. I respect it. I respect it. We are not gonna talk about her experience in this space. Okay? You might still get proud mom shit. I love to brag about the oldest and his,

you know, crazy shit with whatever. Right. You might get that in the future. But we also don't want it to ever like, in the beginning, we were it was privacy. It was she was figuring her shit out, and we were figuring it out along with her. Okay. Yeah. But at this point, it's like every time I stay, like, gender neutral, it's like, that's not right. That's not that no. She is an adorable teenage girl, and poor JB is learning what it's like to have two of me in one house. Oh my gosh.

Yeah. She didn't fall far from the, tree on that one. No. We didn't get to see it prior go ahead. Yeah. Prior to this. And and, yeah. I I get tag teamed now It's kind of fun. With the sass. Kind of fun. This I would I'm gonna support my children no matter what. Yeah. But the thing that just made it, like, cemented in, like, oh, shit. Yeah. Is that she's blossomed. She is the person she was always meant to be. Her personality is shining. Shiny. I was there at pre k when she cried every day. Yeah.

And I couldn't leave her. They would take me to the side and be like, what the hell's wrong with your kid? And now she's Or or even through middle school where she just sank deeper and deeper. You know? And and now see this this beautiful personality. Oh my god. Oh my god. That's shining and it and it's it's it's beautiful. It's just beautiful. Mhmm. So it's not a thing even our whole family knows. There are not people who are safe in

our family. The reason it was like, we'll do it here because our politics of choice, our focus of choices on trans rights Yeah. Because it was always important, but and I hate to say it. It feels like I should have been doing it anyway because I knew it was important. But now I'm like, how do I make a safer world for her? Yeah. So anyway, we're not gonna talk about her personal details. We're not gonna talk about her, medical stuff. That is nobody's fucking business. That's all private.

But you will hear us refer to her as her. Yeah. And we'll have, I'm sure, proud parent moments to, like, talk about. We cannot get her the health care she needs in the state we live in. No. The state is currently actively trying to make what little bit they allow harder for professionals to do what little bit is legally allowed. They're they're they have as parents we cannot make, decisions on medical care for her. Nope. Yeah. Not allowed. As parents, that those rights

have been stripped away. Our state is all about talking about parents' rights, but sure should not these parents' rights. No. And and now they're they're trying to push laws through, which if a teacher or, you know, anybody in that position assists or doctor assists a kid in any of this, that they they are legally then liable. Right. So the, two things are happening. And I meant to talk about it earlier because the whole video has been going for YouTube folks and I hadn't mentioned it.

So the the thing that we focus on most, where energy outside of voting electoral stuff, is an organization here in Florida called Equality Florida. They were the first organization of their type in the country, and what they do is they are an LGBTQ plus advocacy group. They work to pass good legislation and get bad legislation not passed. I don't know what the words are. Taken taken away. Yeah. Taken away. Make it taken away. And sometimes they're successful and sometimes there's not. So,

they fight anti LGBTQ plus legislation. Currently in Florida, there's this massive page of shit Oh, yeah. To both oppose and, like Support. Support. Thank you. What were words? I did I just took a couple out of the big long list. For Florida specifically Mhmm. They want to do a pride flag ban. They've been working on it. They want to, like, make it worse, I guess, with legislation. They want a don't say gay thing in the workplace. They've already done it in the

schools. Yeah. I've I, who never thought I would be a homeschool parent, am so fucking grateful to be a homeschool parent. Mhmm. I don't I don't know how I don't know how she would have survived in Florida school system. I don't. Knowing what we know now, I don't know how she would have survived. And then that one we were just talking about, making it easier to penalize teachers and health care providers for helping slash supporting trans kids. Give you a little inside baseball.

We have are going out of state for a medical appointment for our youngest. It is not required that whoever they might be working with, like their therapist or whatever, provide a letter of support to kind of show whatever they need for I'm learning all this so I don't even know what's in a letter of support. But they don't require it, but they they like it when they can get it. I go to the therapist and I say, is this something you can do?

She takes a couple days to get back to me and says, we would love to, but we cannot without losing our license in the state of Florida. Yep. So when I say that we know we we will at some point be moving out of fucking Florida, that Yep. We know it. It's just not easy, and I think most people understand that it's just not people are doing it. I saw in the live chat, from Malley, I think, a stat I had seen recently that 400,000 trans people have moved states Yeah.

In the past was it past year? Year probably. Yeah. Yeah. I don't remember the time frame. Yeah. And we are in that list of people who are trying to figure out how that's gonna be feasible for us. So I tell you this about Florida equality Florida because they helped other states have their own version. Okay? I did searches to see what it would look like if you pick your state and you go, do you have an equality Florida a version of equality Florida?

I found Georgia equality, Alabama equality, Virginia equality. Mhmm. So what I'm saying is whatever state you're in, type equality and your state name or your state name and the word equality. You might have to scroll a little bit, But once you see we are an, anti LGBTQ legislation advocacy group, that's usually how they label themselves Yeah. You've got it. So if I would say two things. Things. I would say many

things. If you were in a red state and you're like, I hadn't heard about any anti trans legislation, go check. Yeah. Find your equality for whatever for your state and see what they've got coming up and what they're working for or against. Okay? If you're in a blue state and you're like, we don't have to worry about that here, check anyway. Yeah. There are several states I have investigated for, like, what do they say and what are their laws and what are their rules.

And some states just sound amazing, but I I can't live there. But I am all the states are kinda, like, on my list. I'm I'm watching their legislation too Yeah. Because they could come off my list real fucking quick after a single election. Right? Because elections fucking matter. A thing if you do follow Amanda's mild takes, highly recommend, by the way, she will tell you. It's local that determines almost everything. Come. Start local. Because the anti trans bills are coming from our

state legislature. Yeah. They're not coming I mean, federal tried. Yeah. Federal tried and the one thing thank you Democrats, I guess. Guess. They got the anti trans stuff pulled out of these appropriations bills going through the process right now. Thank fucking God. But it's happening at the state level probably more than most people realize. And I look, trans folks who are listening or watching, y'all been screaming this. Y'all fucking know. Right?

I'm, like, late to the fucking party, but I'm here now. So I don't expect you to care about our issue. Find your issue. But if you do care about these things, if you're like, what? They're they're passing that kind of shit? They're not letting parents work with doctors to do what's best for a child? They're wanting to ban pride flags or say don't say gay. Some I urge you if that matters to you in any way, go find your state's version. Lola Agrees. Okay. Lola fucking agrees.

Look. We we love, you know, an ally, even in the four legs. The other thing that I got secured away with that I forgot to mention again. On if you're watching on YouTube, you should see, where there's a donate thing. We are gonna utilize YouTube fundraiser things. This is our first one. We're gonna utilize them more often as we go forward. We are hosting a fundraiser, through YouTube for the Campaign for Southern Equality.

It runs through February. Our goal is $250 because I don't know if this is a thing like, there's so many places you can put your money. Right? Like, I don't wanna overtax people. I don't wanna be like, hey, give me all your money. You know? No. That's what I'm trying to do. Campaign for Southern Equality was the first organization I got in touch with on behalf of the youngest, And I almost cried the whole conversation because it was wonderful. And they have

helped. We have benefited from their grant program. We are using their grant program for travel needs, and we're grateful to it. So I wouldn't be able to do it. Right. We, hosting this fundraiser. It's gonna run through February. If you've got it to give, thank you. Yeah. If you don't, I totally fucking get it. I will say the thing I said at the top. If you're like, well, I could become a Patreon member with my $5 or I could give to an organization, please

give to the organization. Please give. They they they need help right now. They they need as much as they do. All of them do. Our our focus is trans rights. I am not going there. Here's here's what I will say to parents. I think it's universal that we tend to be afraid for our children. Right? Afraid for their future. Afraid afraid when they start driving. Right? Like there's plenty of things to fear. I have never been so afraid. Now I am filled with hope and I will fight like fucking hell.

But if you're like, yeah. As a parent, I relate to the fear. For me, this has turned up a lot of fucking notches. And so you will probably see a lot of stuff like this. Our last donation our last fundraiser for Equality Florida. We did that through the Kinkery. We're trying to figure out a plan to do more fundraisers and who we want to do them for. There's lots of organizations that need help. This one through YouTube is the Campaign for Southern Equality so that other people

can benefit from their grants. Yeah. Once I figure out the mechanism, it should show up on most if not all of our videos going forward through the fundraiser, but it's a new tool I've never used. So if you can, great. If you can't, no worries. For anybody who's like, I want to do stuff and I don't have money. God knows I've been there. If you are feel safe to, share these kinds of things with your your social media folk. And I don't mean

this episode. You can if you want. If you would like if there's somebody you would like to be yelled at, this is fine. But like the organization that you're like, I wanna support this organization. This is my cause of choice. And you don't have money to give? Spread the word about them because there will probably be somebody who got $10 that they can give. Okay. I know I can't talk about this stuff without crying, both happy tears and angry tears. So thanks to, oh my gosh, all of

these donations that have come through. I saw Tayesu at the top of the stream. JB had to go deal with Lola who might be eating cat shit in the backyard. Thank you to Kim. Thank you to the anonymous, donor. I appreciate that. So Andre had the, idea we should do, dollars for demos. You know, for the fundraiser for sure for sure. I will happily be hit with, Weapons of Ass Destruction. We gotta make some more Weapons of Ass Destruction, though. Hopefully by the, the Friday.

The February Friday livestream. Okay. When JB gets back and gets settled, I'll let him share any thoughts he has that he has not shared, and then we'll go to the third section of this episode. And we still have a bonus section because we've got Ella and Lola news. Yeah. Anyway, is there anything you would like to say about our our happy news and also why? I mean, I Why are people that, like Why is America? You know, all I can all I wanna say is I want to see her be able to

grow and be happy. And thrive. And thrive. And live whatever her life is supposed to look like. Yeah. Silent asked in the live chat if her anxiety has maybe gotten changed or gotten any better. This is still one of the most anxious human beings I've ever met. And But you know what she's not anxious about? Who the fuck she is. And and to me So and to me it seems like it is better. She is able to articulate it better. She can recognize what it is. She can talk

through it. That's that's a lot of therapy. That's just some maturation. She's 16 now. She she she handles it. I think she does handle it better, but, it's almost like all of the anxiety genes from all of the generations from me back, quite frankly through the women in our family, were concentrated and inserted into this child because, I mean, I always thought, oh, I'm an anxious human. My mom is so anxious I knew the youngest has us beak.

But she she is doing better. She's There's there's a lot of growth there. Okay. Now we're gonna actually talk about kink. Yeah. It's a question we got ages ago. I've had thoughts about it ever since. I don't know that the answer is gonna be satisfying because we believe in nuance, but can you be in a power exchange with somebody that you don't agree with politically? You're on differing sides of the political spectrum. It depends.

It's the most dissatisfying answer. Right? I and, you know, I mean, it it is, but, you know, that you you can't, I was I was, in a long term relationship somebody who is, very conservative. Mhmm. And, you see where I am today. The stock power exchange, but yes, my my mother and the man she married are on complete opposite sides of the political political spectrum, and that's not a happy relationship. Not just for that, but that's a big fucking part.

Here's how I break it down in my head, and I think there's more ways than what I can come up with, but this is what I've come up with. If you are politically active or knowledgeable or engaged, right, on your side of the political spectrum, and your partner is one of a few things I think the outcome might change, but it is a personal decision for you.

If they are completely apolitical, they do not look at the news, they don't know what's happening outside of whatever their hobbies are, they don't even vote, but they, you know, registered Republican and you're a Democrat, but they're not doing anything with it? They're not supporting anything, I think that's worth a conversation. Like, why are you registered if you don't support? Register independent. Right? If that if your state does that.

That becomes a a conversation for you of do I want to be in a power exchange with somebody who does not care about this thing that I care about? That's a choice only you can make. If you've got if you're in a relationship with somebody who votes, but they vote who they've always voted for, they don't they're not engaged in politics because maybe they say they just don't care. But win a big election, they're always gonna vote for the same party no matter what regardless of what's happening.

This is dissatisfying but only you can decide if that is okay with you, if you can live with that. There are people I know who could not, would not, would never be them and then there are people I know who are like everything else is good, you know, maybe they'll change, maybe we can have these conversations, maybe we can grow together, like whatever whatever. There I don't think there's a singular right answer here.

It gets trickier when you both are pretty fucking firm and activated and know what you think and how you feel. Now here's what my decision would be. I don't know that I can trust a person with the responsibility of control over me if they literally do not care about other people. They don't care that rights are being stripped away. They don't care that people are being

killed in the streets. They don't care that, you know, we have federal agents who think they can walk around not showing their face, not having a badge number, not giving a last name, like, nothing that the police would have to do. These got like, if they actively are telling you that they don't give a fuck and or they support it and you were actively on the other side going, that that's a violation of due process. That's that's unethical.

That's evil. That I don't know how you do it because I I could not. Are there people who decide they can do it? Yep. That goes back to a personal decision. It I think it's how you view both the politics of of what you believe wherever you're on at on the spectrum of politics and also how you feel about power exchange. I don't don't need a partner who agrees with me on everything, but I do want a partner that has similar ethics and morals

and values to me. Because there can come a time when shit gets real fucking real. And if we don't align on how we think people should be treated regardless of who they are, and we don't align on, you know, does our constitution count for everybody or just a few special people? Like, the the and and that's important to you. Right? Now if you are just like your registered thing one way because you just are and you just don't care and they're the same way, you're probably gonna

be fine. Yeah. I there there comes a point It depends. Yeah. It it depends on a lot of things. And I mean, you you can even, you know, I've I've had I've done this with with friends in the past, you know. I don't agree with you, but can we agree to disagree? And see, and I think it depends. Policy oh, yeah. Yeah. It definitely depends. Yeah. Talking about here's this bucket of tax dollars, and I think it should go to this, and you think it should go to that. That's a political discussion.

Mhmm. But the current situation in the world, we don't have those conversations. We, you know, we literally say, I don't think trans one side says trans people should not exist. Yeah. Right? Yeah. That's not I can't policy discuss my way out of that with somebody. I can't make you see the humanity of my child if you were determined not to. Mhmm. And look, cis white lady here just, like, jumping on the right many of y'all have been here. Your whole lives have been this.

I cannot speak for you. I do not wanna talk over anybody. But this is me reminding others who look like me that none of that's new either. It's just more obvious. Yeah. I and mister Spock Mhmm. Said it, I think. I I wasn't sure mister Spock was quoting silent or answering silent. I wouldn't feel safe in a BDSM relationship with someone who didn't believe in basic rights that speaks a lot to questions about how they'll look at consent. Yeah. Thank you. Mhmm. A 100%. That that's, yeah.

But I'm not gonna vilify somebody who has a partner and a power exchange that works that you don't align politically because it is a personal choice. I can only tell you what I'm gonna do, but I do I do think it depends on how political are they because a lot of people don't care. Half the fucking eligible voters in The US do not vote whether they're registered or not. I can't remember if that number is that they're not even registered or they just don't vote. I cannot remember. But half

half those people probably have partners. You know what I mean? And some of those partners are voting. And it's entirely possible that with a person who just doesn't seem to care, it's not a priority, it doesn't affect them enough for them to wanna hear, or or, and this is very real, they believe it doesn't matter. Yeah. There are a lot of people who have been conditioned to think it doesn't matter. They've been conditioned to think that

both sides are exactly the same. No. There's some problems. There's some shit I want to change in my particular party affiliation, but there are differences. Right? And some of them are stark differences, and voting does matter. Yeah. It is possible that you as the political one with a supportive partner who supports your endeavors and is like, I don't give a fuck, but I'm happy for you. We do influence the people around us. You know? Not immediately, not quickly.

It can take a long time. Sometimes and I hate this, but I've also been this. Sometimes it has to impact us personally before we can step up in the way we need to. Should it be that way? No. I think basic empathy and caring about your fellow human being and their basic right to fucking exist peacefully shouldn't be a thing we don't care about. And the thing I've been see, I've been telling JB all this whole time since he became a little bit more politically active. I was like,

look. I've been a blue dot in a sea of fucking deep red conservative my whole life except for the three five years we lived in the Tampa Bay area and I got to be in a purple area, and it was a whole new fucking world. Okay? But I've been in these spaces and I know how some not. Some of these people act. They do not give a fuck until it it impacts them personally. But you know what?

I don't have to like those people. I don't have to forgive those people, but I sure as shit will take their fucking vote and take their their money and take their support on the causes I care about if they'll finally fucking get there. When I told JB, both times both times, this president got to be president, that people probably would not care until it had to it would have to get real bad for the people who voted him in before there was change. I didn't know how bad, and I didn't

wanna be right. Mhmm. But I've just I remember the tea part. I was I feel like I was there the day the tea party started because I lived in a deep red fucking area where MAGA is currently very popular. Tea party was thriving. Yeah. And if you're old enough to know who the fuck the tea party was, if you know, you know. I've just I've I've lived it. I've been around it. I've got I've got people in my family who are it, and I see how many, not all Yeah. Of those people are.

Until it matters to them personally, it doesn't matter. And I don't want the world to be that way, but that's how the world is for some people. I I think it would be better if they weren't like that. So yeah. Can you be in a power exchange with somebody you are not politically aligned with? It depends. Mhmm. And I think it starts with your personal ethics. Do you want a partner who maybe you don't agree on every topic, but you know you're you have similar morals and values and ethics?

If you're aligned there, I think the rest can be figured out. The rest can kinda be like, okay. Well, we don't disagree on how the tax dollars should be spent or what the property tax millage rate should be. That's fine. I can we go to a time when we could just discuss that? Can we that's where we disagree on shit?

But, you know, if you've got a, if you've got a partner who's like, I think every book that I don't like, that I have not read should be banned, and you're like, actually, I think kids should have access to all kinds of books. Yeah. I'm just there's some alignments that don't align, you know? I think some people are don't deserve, you know, full rights and humanity within our country, and you're over here going, but I do. That's a problem. I don't know how you was that square

that circle? Circle that? Close there's a square circle. Yeah. I can't see it right now either. Somebody will remind me in the comments. So yeah. Yeah. I hope I don't get yelled at too much, but I just need folks to know if you want to yell at me, you are yelling at your fucking self because I'm not talking to you. I'm, I'm I'm firm in my beliefs. I know where I stand on things.

I am willing to be wrong on the details of something, on the specific, like, facts, but not in this I I don't think I'm wrong in the spirit. I have said this many times over the past ten plus years that I do not understand how somebody can be kinky and somehow think that they are better than other facets of humanity because you can lose access to certain parts of society just for being kinky too. It is is it the same as being a person of color or being in the LGBTQ

plus community? Of course not. But it's still you I promise you, kinky people, there are entire swaths of population in every country that do not approve of your kinkiness, that think that you are deviant and wrong, and they are across the political spectrum. I know plenty of extremely,

or is it leftist? Is it liberal? The language is changing for the the the Democrat side and I have not kept up yet, so I don't the far left, there are some extremely liberal people who think all BDSM, all porn, all it is inherently evil and

should not exist. So I feel like if you're gonna be kinky and you're gonna be up in this community, you're gonna have to learn about inclusivity and giving a fuck about more than just you because there are people in this world who would take away your right to be kinky if they thought they could. Mhmm. So Yep. Okay. Yeah. Oh, Silent had a very good point to make. I don't know in what part of the conversation this comes up in, but the point in general is

spot on. Okay. Silent says, I feel like the BIPOC, that's, black indigenous people of color community, LGBTQ plus community, disabled, and other marginalized communities have different thoughts on how different your views can be while coexisting. A 100 percent. Yeah. A 100%. And I'm not speaking for none of y'all. Y'all y'all tell me. Okay? Y'all tell me because that is we have different experiences. And just remember, anybody y'all some of y'all know. I'm gonna say the thing you're like, duh.

We speak through the lens of our experience. We try to broaden our horizons. We we try so hard to remember that our experience is not the experience. We will miss shit. Okay? That because our experiences we literally cannot have. So I when we can, let's let me put that out there for y'all. For people who let's listen to the people who are living this shit. Right? And can tell us, wait this is my experience because it will be different from mine. A 100% every day, all day.

Which is why we need to be more fucking inclusive in general because everybody's got a point of view and everybody's got an experience. Mhmm. Anyway. So for anybody who wonders, yes. I will obsess over everything. I didn't say, thought I said. Was that tone right? Did it did it come away come across the way I meant you? Did I sound like a dumbass? This one usually I do it for three or four days. This one, I think we'll have a week

or so I'll be obsessing over it. You know, for anybody who recognizes this, if you ever had a conversation with somebody and then like hours later, sometimes days later, sometimes years later, why? You're like, why did I say that thing? Did I say that right? I do that with the podcast. Everything we record. Everything we record. And the more desperately I want to do right by a topic, the more I obsess. So, I'm sure I missed some things. I'm sure there's some things to add. Certainly resources, I

could not have listed. We could not have listed every resource. We would still be here just reciting resources. Those kinds of comments, the kinds of comments that are helpful for people to here's a place where you can go learn, here's a place who needs your time and attention, here's an issue to consider, please please share it in all the ways that you can because there will be other people who find your comments and will be like, oh, that's a thing. I didn't think about that. Oh, that's

a thing that interests me. Whatever. But yes. If you would like to put fingers to keyboard to yeah. To to debate me bro kind of on politics and on our personal ethics, morals, and values, you're talking to yourself. I don't care. I hate say I I feel like I wanna say that because it's important, but I also know some people take that as a challenge. We're just I'm just blocking and deleting it as I see it, just so you know. So all that, and we could go into a bonus section if you're ready, Jamie.

I'm as ready as I'm going, babe. Oh Oh my gosh. It's already good. I don't know. Keep it kinky, y'all. And we'll see you next week. Can we talk to the crickets? Yes, baby girl. About our cats and dogs. Damn. I say dogs like we got more. We got one. Yep. She is not currently wearing her cone of shame. That's Lola for anybody who's new. So we took her to the eye doctor.

She still has ulcers in her eyeball, which part of that was why she was scratching at her eye and she had to wear the cone of shame so she would stop scratching at her eye because she was causing more ulcers by scratching at her eye. And the doctor said, oh, she's almost healed. There's still a little bit of ulcer left in here. Keep giving her the antibiotic drops. Antibiotic drops three times a day and

the sodium chloride four times a day. And the antibiotic you have to give twenty minutes before you give the sodium chloride or the sodium chloride won't work the way it's supposed to work. No. What it's it's the other way around. Oh, is it? The, the way he explained it to me was the antibiotic, the liquid it's a liquid antibiotic dropped into the eye and It pulls out moisture. No. Oh. That goes that goes in to stop any infection. Right. Right. Right. Right. The sodium chloride, that's

what draws the water out. Right. Which is why you have to do the antibiotic before you get the soda back because neither will work the way they're supposed to work. Neither. Well, I guess so you're right. The sodium chloride would work Would work. Then the antibiotic would not. But then it would counter the antibiotics. Taking care of Lola's meds, including her eyes, is JB's new full time job.

I used to want to complain about dealing with the litter boxes, and then I just watched JB with his Lola pill organizer, and I went, you know what? I'm a shut my fucking mouth. I I I I have a single problem. It it was getting so confusing with her meds, what she takes in the morning, what she takes at night, what has to be done. So, yeah, I put together a pill minder for her. I had to. Yeah. Otherwise, I couldn't keep it straight for the poor thing.

So what they said was even though her eye is still healing a little bit the actual eyeball, the, like, gloopy part not around her eye as long as she's not scratching at her eye, she doesn't have to wear the cone of shame. She is happy, we are happy, all of our furniture that's movable by the weight of a 72 pound dog is happy. Our end tables were just everywhere. She she was re yeah. You know? Yeah. Moving furniture around left and right, redecorating.

Yeah. Or when she couldn't get through a spot that she normally could without her coat on, she just look at you with the most pathetic tone of a little bit. I wanna tell you something. You know how she likes to go through that spot between the cup the end table and the sofa? Yes. I do. She plows by me. She she had not been able to go through that particular spot that she does with the cone on. Not for lack of trying. Right.

Now this morning, when I woke her when I woke her up and we did I'm gonna do you know, she went when I got up to go to the kitchen to start feeding them, she went, went around, went to that little cut up, she looked at it, and then she walked around the other way. Sweet baby. Yeah. Now the thing with Lola is the thing that's wrong with her eye please don't ask me to explain it. I I will look that up. But it's an an ongoing problem, and the fact that she might get ulcers

in her eye could become a pattern. It could be a thing that happens and goes and happens goes. And what they said was if we can keep her stable where she's not getting these ulcers in her eye consistently and we're not constantly having to give her an antibiotic and put the damn phone on, then cool, we can just, as the doctor said, ride this wave. Okay? But if this starts becoming an ongoing thing where we're constantly having to do this, then we have to look at surgery. Yeah. So we are hoping

Mhmm. This is a one off and we know what to look for and it'll be fine, but we are prepared that there may come a time that they have to do surgery on her eye. Yeah. And and they were really nice at this at the office. They told us, you know, if you're ever in doubt, take a picture of her eye and send it to them, and they will, you you know, advise what I you know, it's weird to have an ophthalmologist for a dog, but I do like them. Yeah. The tech who always,

is always there. She Mhmm. That person is just works every time we go in. Loves Lola. Oh, yeah. If Lola was not so stressed out about being there, Lola would love this person. Okay. She's too stressed. But you know be there. You know what I what I like about about her? Mhmm. She understands pities. Mhmm. When when we first went in there, okay, you know, she, she obviously saw Lola was was nervous. So obvious. She took, you know, she had the camera, she had this other stuff that they're gonna

do. She let her sniff everything. Mhmm. Mhmm. She let Lola sniff everything. Mhmm. And Lola was fine. And that and that's something I've noticed with Lola. If if she sniffs something, once she knows, you know, it's fine. She, That tells we can tell how stressed she is when she does not want to sniff. And that this last visit something about this last appointment, girl was stressed out. Yeah. Didn't want Yeah. Oh, but here's how she proves how sweet she is every

time. She hates being there. She would do anything to run out of that room. Sometimes it takes two of them to hold her in place to do the things. She never wants snarls. She doesn't curl up a lip. She doesn't snap. She's it's a very, like, suffering look, like, okay, fine. Why? I'll just Don't you love me? Now Lola also got

to go to doggy daycare. Yes. We did a meet and greet because we have to board her next month, and we talked about this in last week's bonus, I think it was bonus section, because JB was, like, you know, clutching his pearls that I would just give her to anybody to watch. So it was a half day of doggy daycare, and they were assessing her for, like, what what environment would be best for her? What do we need to know about her?

I think they probably are also like, your dog is a if if this was necessary, your dog's a menace. They can't come back. Lola could never. Right? So they also text you updates, which Yeah. Let me let me just tell you something. We dropped Lola off. She was nervous. It was a new place. She didn't have her cone on, thank God.

She she was uncertain, and it was a little bit like leaving if if you've dropped a child off at daycare before in your life, and they're crying, but you walk out and you find out later they were fine. It was a little bit like that. If we just leave she'll be fine. We get in the car and JB's like, what if she's what if something happens? What if what if they need us? What if what if something goes wrong? And I'm the one like, the person of contact is my phone. And I went, I think it'll be fine.

I have my phone with me everywhere, but he kinda is just like, but what if? What if how would we know? Like, obviously meaning they're gonna call and your dumbass is not gonna pick up that fucking phone. I went, look. I'll take my phone off silent. Okay? Because the only notifications, phone, and text I get, because my phone is always on silent, are the ones I have on emergency bypass. That is JB and my two children. Everybody else, you'll wait till I get there.

I hope you don't die because it'll be a couple minutes before I look at my phone. The three of them, I wanna know immediately, even when it is the oldest going, hey, can you tell me about gynecologists? That's the whole conversation. I'm not getting into it because it was wild. But even for that, I want the notification. So I'm like, you know what? I'll take my phone off silent. That way, if something comes up,

I'll know that the phone is ringing. And then I spent the entire morning having the spam calls, the ones that go straight to voicemail, and the few text messages, none of which were the doggy daycare coming through my phone. And I did not take the phone off silent until we were on our way to pick her up. But they they did send because they asked us, they're like, do you think we should do group play where she's with other dogs? Do you think we should do the one

on one care? Because they offer both, right? Because some dogs just should not be around other dogs. We're like, we don't know. We know she's mostly okay with other dogs except a small yappy dog. She doesn't like those. And I went, it's not that she doesn't like them. It's that they stress her out. So just keep that in mind. Yeah. So the the update we get is Lola was real good. She got to play lay in the sun. She didn't really wanna be outside for too long. We didn't stay out there too long.

She's okay with other dogs, but high energy dogs make her nervous. And I'm just like, same girl. Same. There's high energy people. Man, sometimes I'm like, can I handle this? Sometimes I am the high energy person. That's a whole other conversation. So they were very sweet. So yeah. Lola's doing as well as Lola can do. Yeah. With this cold weather, she's living her best life with her heating pad. Yeah. That's on her bed. Got her a heating pad. Those old bones need some place to, like

Yeah. They do. Well, her preferred place is to lay in the sun and the rocks, but if she's inside, she she now has a heating pad. She now spends a lot less time on the couch because she's got that fucking heat. If we had only known, our maybe our couch could have survived. It's fine. Okay. Next saga in the fur babies of the Brownstone household. I'll let you talk about Ella. I know you gotta go run and do something next week. I'll be here.

Ella, we talked about last week, was not peeing the right color. She's peeing the right color again, but she had a UTI. She had stones in her bladder. They really want to just do the surgery to remove the stones, but we're gonna just change her diet for three months. We're gonna change her diet for the rest of her life, but we're changing her diet to a urinary care diet. It's very expensive. Oh my god. To see if the stones in her bladder will shrink so that she can either pass

them or they'll go away. I got conflicting information from the vets, but it was fine. That they would not be an issue anymore. So $700 later, before the cost of the new food, Ella is doing better. She is actually getting a lot more love and attention from both of us because I think we feel bad for her. It's like, oh, you weren't just being a little shithead. You were like, there was something actively wrong. I'm so sorry, Ella. I'm so sorry. We do love you. I promise.

I so technically Ella belongs to the oldest, the 20 year old. So I texted I texted him to go had to take Ella to the vet. They did these tests. They did this. Here's the outcome. Because his plan is when he has a place and a job where he can take care of a cat, he wants his cat to be with him. And I'm like, cool. You gotta have two cats cats or she will drive you crazy. She needs another cat with her. I think Onyx would be okay on her own because she prefers it that

way. Same. But Ella will always need to not be the only cat. She I don't that that cat she cannot handle it. So, you know, we're we talk about when he takes Ella home with him, what that will look like. And I'm, you know, I'm like when you can take her to the vet to get her vaccines and you know, and you can feed her consistently and here's So it's not a right now, probably maybe after he graduates college. Hell, he might change his mind. That's fair.

But I'm telling him, okay. Your girl eats the bougie shit now. It's very expensive. But it's for her health and that's what we're gonna do. And he's like, what you do to my cat? And my literal ass got offended and was like, excuse me. And then he comes back two days later the child texts me back and goes, I was just joking. Like, I am a literal bitch, okay? Like, I you gotta put an emoji in a text. If you are making a joke, but it could be read

in another way. I just there's a reason I put a lot of LOLs when I'm writing shit. There's smiley emojis. I need you to know that this is lighthearted, and the only way I know to express that is hearted, and the only way I know to express that is with an LOL or a smiley. Okay? I need to indicate that I'm having a good time over here. I'm not yelling. I need I need the oldest to do that for me. But, so yeah. We're pretty sure there's probably gonna be surgery. We're trying the diets Yeah.

To see blah blah blah. Her surgery, much like Lola actually, we don't know what Lola's surgery would cost. Ella's surgery, minimum, as of today's current price is, because we know how inflation goes, that's a $1,800 surgery. Yep. I'm sort of thinking, okay, oldest child, who sometimes has more money access to a buddy than I might in a moment. I'm not. We're gonna pay for it ourselves. I am tempted to be like, you wanna pitch in for this? I can't get the child to buy his own lunch.

You want to know. Yeah. Right? Yeah. I I really wouldn't. He's a college student. He needs to focus on that. But so yeah. She goes back in three months, new X-ray, see what's happening, make decisions then. I did I did point out to JB that he clearly likes Ella more than he lets on. He was concerned about her. He did neither was we did we blink when we saw the price of the prescription medicine? Prescription food? Of course. But he did not blink. Now we went, okay, that's what we gotta do.

And then he was like extra nice to her. So but you know, I I feel like we should know she hasn't really been feeling well because her favorite pastime is to sit in windows. And our front windows, we have a like, is that a bay window in her? Yeah. It's a big old window. Mhmm. And it's this wide window sill. And she lives for sitting there Mhmm. And yelling at the cats who are in the front yard. One's a stray. One is just an outdoor cat.

Look, I think we're dealing with an enemies to lovers situation. I think they really just enjoy hating one another, but if they got to know each other, it it'd be a sweet romance. It is a love triangle. I prefer a white shoes, but this is a love triangle. There's Butterball the Stray, who does not look like a Butterball. I don't know how they

got that name. He will come over and walk through the front yard in the in front of that window when Ella was feeling well and would spend a lot of time there. And she would oh, she'd make some noises at him and he would spray on things

like at our front door. And then Koi, the neighbor cat, who's just an outdoor cat, he's not a stray, he has a home, he is chipped and vaccinated and all that, he would run Butterball off, spray on top of where Butterball had sprayed, and Ella would be screeching at him through the window. So we should have known she wasn't feeling well because she stopped spending a lot of time yelling at the boys. Yeah. But I I do think if they would just spend a little time together, romance. Anyway. Anyway.

That's the girls. Onyx Onyx is just living her best anxious life where she just wishes everybody leave her the fuck alone. You know? That's it. Oh my gosh. So yeah. Yeah. Do you have anything? Have we missed anything? Oh, I don't know if you wanna talk about it. What? My Your hand. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Real quick. I got an answer finally about my hand. What's going on? It's not carpal tunnel. No. It's, severe arthritis in the thumb. Mhmm. Apparently, there is no more, gap between the

what do they call it? First metacarpal, I think. Mhmm. The first joint. So, yeah. It's kinda owie. Yeah. Apparently, it's so severe. He absolutely qualifies for surgery. Yeah. But the best hand surgeon in our area is retiring. Mhmm. And so she was like, you're gonna need to find another hand surgeon in another town. I'm doing that research now. She'll do she'll write whatever referral. Right. We are hope I'm hoping we're both hoping that we can wait till July

Yes. When JB gets that sweet, sweet, Medicare. I hope so. Because I don't wanna know what our current insurance would charge for a hand surgery. I don't wanna find out if we can help it. Yes. It's on an osteo yes. It's osteoarthritis. Yeah. All the bone spurs and all the fun that goes with it. It's so this was a strange situation. Orthopedic office works, typically, you check-in, you go sit down. A nice person calls you back to take your vitals, your weight, your your blood pressure.

Mhmm. And then they send you back out into the waiting area. So I never go back with JB. The first time, they're just, like, doing that stuff. This time, I'm like, okay. I'll stay here. Okay. Here. They changed it up. They changed it up. He texts me. I'm in there. Now, technically, could I have been like, hey. Can I go back there? Of course, I could have. But I was like, no. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. I don't wanna talk to somebody I don't know. Just ask

for a thing. And that would be weird because I was feeling away this morning. I just it didn't have any of me. So what I said was do not downplay your pain. Make sure they know the like, there's a reason I go in, not just because I'm a nosy bitch, but JB will not tell them pertinent information. And I'm usually there, so I was giving him the tell them this. So he comes out and I'm like, okay. How are we doing? Blah blah blah.

He's telling me. He's like, he's a medication he takes, he takes for his back, not for his hand. It's not even working on his hand. Yeah. I know. But the doctor was like, oh, well, what's going on? He lists, like, the arthritis in the bone spurs and the disc in the back of the she goes and this is her response, her immediate response is, oh my gosh. You are a hard worker, aren't you? Like, physically don't like, you have beaten the shit out of your body, man.

Yeah. It's clapping back now. Yeah. I'm tolerating it now. Like, I was like, oh, I I hate that it's a it's a those kinds of injuries that the doctor clocks is, oh, manual like, you've worked hard. You physically worked hard. I've worked since I was six years old. I know. There's I got we've had those conversations. I won't rant about that here. But but, yeah, I was like, he is a hard worker. And I was and I was thinking 11. I wasn't even thinking like like baby. So So yeah.

That's the saga with the procedures with JB and the dog and the cat. And we we've been doing a little we did a little stuff around the house We did. Lately. We did. I finally finished all the screens. That took me a hot minute. Well, I stopped. I had to slow down because of my my hand. My hand. But, the screens are all done. And we have replaced our outside lights on the house. Mhmm. One of them just

just fell off the wall one day. Literally we're sitting back here we heard a clash and open up the door and it just it it fell off the wall. I think our outdoor lights are are very nice. They're they're definitely my style for sure. I love a satin or a brushed nickel. That's, like, my jam, and so JB indulges me. Yeah. We had our septic tank pumped. Yeah. And that was so funny because most people do not call the septic tank company until things have gotten very, very bad. And so

they're like, are you having problems? And JB's like, nope. I'm trying to prevent them. Mhmm. Go ahead and, like, suck that up. Make that go away. Yeah. Yeah. So Who knew they worked on Saturdays? I know. To do base like, maintenance stuff, not to, like, fix problems. Yeah. I would expect that, but I was like, okay. And, yeah. It was it was cool. They, you know, did that, and he he said septic tank because everything is fine. He he he complimented me on taking the two trees out.

Yeah. Because I was gonna kill our septic tank too. Yeah. Oh, yes. I said onyx is fine. She's just anxious bitch as always. Yeah. Onyx onyx is being onyx. Yeah. Yeah. You know? Yeah. We have ordered the new door. I complained about this in Discord. To replace a door, it requires a permit. That was new to me. We learned something new. It's a $300 permit Yeah. For the door. But we are getting a new backdoor. Now why do you you all give a fuck? If you watch our YouTube videos,

the light gets wonky. Part of part of that, not completely, but part of that is our backdoor. So getting a new backdoor, there's many things that will be better with that new backdoor. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So so we live in the county part of Yeah. Outside this We we live just outside of the city. It's deep suburbia. You would not know we were outskirts of the city, but we are. They asked what's a septic tank? A tank is basically, yeah. Where where all your sewage goes. When you flush your toilet?

Yep. And that goes somewhere. When you take a shower. So you know, in in the cities, yeah. It's it's in the sewer, so it goes to a main pumping station and and is dealt with. But then here, it's buried in the in your yard, front or back, and, yeah. It collects all that stuff and then there And sits there. Well, no. It doesn't actually sit there. That's the tank, and then off the tank is what they call a leach field. Okay. Okay. And there it the liquid will flow out and disperse itself

Mhmm. Into the ground. But the rest is just sitting there. This this is the I I wanna say like three or four feet Mhmm. Down that this leach field is dug usually. And you do monthly maintenance to help our septic tank stay healthy. I do. I try. Because nobody wants a septic tank problem. Nobody wants anything to crack, break, explode. Whatever happens with septic tanks, I'm not even sure. I just know it's tragic every time. Back in 1982 Oh, God. When I bought my I was

three years old. I bought my first house. Moved into said house. Right? Mhmm. A week later, water backing up everywhere. Tubs, toilets, sinks. Come to find out, the people who from the neighbors. This is how I found this out, from the neighbors. The people who sold the house knew that the septic tank and leach field was bad. They had the tank pumped and then they did not allow any water to go down. They they went somewhere, they took their laundry. But, they turned off the

water, or didn't even use it? They didn't, they lived there. They did live there, but they took their laundry out to wash. They went to a friend's house to take a shower. So, yeah. They had the tank pumped, so when the home inspection was done, and this was back before they had, you know, buyer warranties on this. Sure, yeah. Way before that. So, yeah. It, yeah. So, a week after I moved into this house, I was out there digging Leach Field.

Are you a homeowner if something doesn't fuck up within about a week of moving into your home? Life is the first house I ever bought. We moved in the first few days. It was the summer when I bought it. The AC, which had been fine for the home inspection, I did I did what they suggest. They they recommend it. I had a home inspection. Yeah. AC worked. Closed on the fucker, moved our shit in, the AC died. Now I did not think to say something to my realtor about it because it was like, well, the

we've closed on the house. Right? She was actually, like, a professional colleague, and we were friendly with one another, and, like, I picked her as my realtor for multiple reasons, mostly because we vibe together. But she's also a really good realtor, took care of her clients, and she was like, oh my god. Why didn't you call me sooner? I was like, I didn't think I needed to tell you. I've closed on the house. What are you gonna do?

My realtor helped me get helped me buy a new AC unit and then got, like, some people she knows who can professionally Mhmm. To install it for me at, like, cost or something. Like, some crazy thing. Wow. Which, ironically, AC problems follow me everywhere because when you and I moved in together for the first time, that was the thing that died on the first day. Yep. So Yep. And then we had the problem in the condo when we moved in there. Mhmm.

Yeah. Yeah. But, yeah, I just don't think you're a homeowner if something break, burn down, fall off, or just Right. Crumble Right now. Right after you close on your new house. Yeah. Yep. So Alright. Anyway, we could keep going. Y'all know us. But, anyway, for anybody who watches on YouTube, pay podcast listeners. So if you're willing to come to YouTube, wanna donate to Campaign for Southern Equality, help them give out more grants to,

trans folks who need Help. Medical care and cannot get in in the South. That will be open and available through the February. If you're interested in any of the resources, I've linked to nearly if I we mentioned anything, it was off that's not linked. That's because it was off the cuff. I've linked to purposely linked to everything in my outline, my notes, so there's there they are there. And, even though Mali in live chat is asking for five women, because as of recording, it is four fifty five.

Yeah. Leah is now, adding to the the begging. I do have to cook dinner, and five is a round number. And and I have to feed the girls. So we're gonna go. Yep. We'll be back next week. And I need to put Lola's second drops in because that's what I did when I stepped away. I gave her her first eye drop. So, next week we'll be back to our more normal, like, topics you Mhmm. Are used to. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Thanks for being here Mhmm. To the bitter end. Mhmm. Okay. Bye. Bye.