You're listening to the Living BDSM podcast episode four thirty eight. Kayla Lords here with the one, the only, the why are you looking at me like that? I love you. Did I do something wrong? John Brownstone. You're giving me it's a very intense look. Mhmm. And I can't read the emotion. I Good. Can't always. Yeah. But Yeah. I didn't know what that meant. Were you having a moment and I just got caught up in it? It meant nothing. You made more out of it than it was.
I mean, it felt like it was something. It was a very intense look. Yeah. It was. Yeah. Yeah. Way too much eye contact. Anyway, so we're talking. This week, we're continuing our series about making power exchange work in the real world by talking about how to actually do power exchange that in the real world that nobody else is gonna notice. Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, glad to have you. If you're back for another week, welcome
back. Loving BDSM is produced every Monday and Friday for your kinky pleasure in education. The show notes are found at lovingBDSM.net. Come back often and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite podcast app. You can also follow the show on FetLife at loving BDSM PC, on Instagram and, technically, threads at that handle I will forever fucking hate. That's loving d s and the number one, so at loving d s one. On blue sky at lovingBDSM.
Blah blah blah or on YouTube at youtube.com/lovingBDSM, or you can watch us live stream the podcast every Wednesday. All links are in the show notes. I'm gonna go to Blue Sky now and look for loving BDSM, that bloody blah blah blah blah. Dot blah blah blah blah. Right. Okay. Really, if you just type in Lummig BDSM. Tada. Okay. Before we get into the topic, two things real quick. One, if you hear a we know that's our fan.
If you hear crackles in the microphones, we know we can't figure out what it is. Right. I mean, we I I have tried so hard to trace that down. I mean, these are supposed to be high quality enough that we should not need to replace them and that is my fear. That something has happened and we so yes, we know. Two, I haven't mentioned it a lot lately and I think I should.
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in Power Exchange. Mhmm. So it's like a bonus section, but it's, like, really focused on the power exchange. We do every other month, we swap between a game night, which is Cards Against Humanity, or a movie night, which is not technically legal, but I'm a keep doing it till they tell me I gotta stop. And this month, April April '20 seventh, is that how dates work, is movie night. We still haven't picked the movie yet because I'm waiting for something to arrive because I have a stack and
it's a whole thing. Anyway, minimum, $2 a month. If you'd like to join us to help support this, once we complain to you in the photo section about what's going on, you'll know why I'm like, hey. You wanna come be on our Patreon? But we do hope we, give as much value as we receive that. That's the plan and hope. Okay. Let's get into this episode, and we are continuing the series because it's making coming up with topics way easier if I have a plan. It's just working out, and I like it that way.
We have talked about some of what we're gonna talk about in this week's episode in the past, partially in many episodes where somebody is asking how do you do this in front of and then pick a situation where you're not alone with
your partner. Right? Mhmm. But specifically, we did an episode in 2019 about subtle power exchange, and then we did an episode in 2020 about our personal views on public kink, based on a image that was floating around the Internet of somebody walking their human dog into a grocery store on a leash. It was a whole thing. That felt like when I saw it, when I went and, like, checked our history, I was like, oh, god. Yeah. Why does that feel like a lifetime ago? It was 2020,
y'all. That's why it feels like a lifetime ago. So some of this is not all new for anybody who's been around for even five minutes. But it I want this episode to kind of package it all up. So the person who's, you know, DMs me and goes, how do I do this around my family? I'll just can send you the link here. Here. We we've talked about it. Here's a whole hour. Are we wrapping it? Are we wrapping it up neatly with a bow and all that? No. No. We're not doing that. We're
not doing that. Usual chaos. And, when I was looking through our archive, our most recent episode this year where we're talking about reconnecting in our power exchange where we did some experimentation with public rules is on this as well is this topic as well because our entire almost our entire power exchange is something that you don't know unless you know what we're
doing. Like we stay within our power exchange when we're visiting family, when we're in front of our children, when we are out in public just doing whatever. It's actually more strange to do the secret behind the closed doors, uber kinky stuff. Because we're tired. Okay? Who's got time for that? Anyway, so this is not so this won't all be new information, but it's all kinda together, and we'll talk about it with a slightly different angle. So there we go.
It is something we've done. I when I originally put our notes together, I was gonna say it was something we had originally we did when we moved in together. And then I realized, oh, hell no. We've been doing unclockable. Nobody else else but us knows power exchange even long distance. Yeah. And so I was like, yes. This works, I think, any relationship style, and probably any kind of power dynamic. And what I mean by that is, yes. I'm a service sub, so it's very easy
to serve, air quote that word. If you're like, please tell me what to do for you, you know, to my dog. Right? I think it can work even if you're not that kind of specific and you just kinda wanna be told what to do or you wanna ask permission or you want somebody to control things. Right? So, yeah, we're we've got examples going back to long distance. We got examples of, oh, you mean I gotta pay the bills and raise a kid and and go to the doctor and have a power exchange. Okay. So that's that's,
where we're starting. That's kind of our premise. My notes. I'm using my notes. I'm trying to be better about that, y'all. Okay. So the first thing I have is the subtle and I keep calling it unclockable. You're not gonna clock it if you see it unless you know. If you know, you know. Right? Mhmm. Subtle unclockable power exchange. What are some things that come to your mind that we do or could be done? There there's a number of things that come to my mind.
First and foremost, our the coffee service. Yeah. It just looks like I'm making you a cup of coffee. Yeah. Mhmm. Yep. Things like giving me my sunglasses when we get in the car. I think the kids are starting to notice that, but the kids are much more aware. They they don't ain't air quote normal. Yeah. Yeah. Or, like, I can't, let myself out of the car. You have to come open the door for me. Yeah. We are able to do things, not maybe
the the sunglasses thing. I just look helpful in that in that situation. We're able to do things that look very heteronormative because that's what we look like from the outside. And as the submissive in my southern upbringing, nobody blinks if I'm getting JB a plate of food or if I'm serving him before I serve myself or whatever whatever, or if I'm deferring to him. I don't my mother would clock me deferring to to JP, and she would take me to the side, and I'd get a lecture.
But the rest of the general population, especially now that I don't dye my hair and you can really tell my age, our age, nobody is thinking much of it anymore. It's like, oh, yeah. That's just how that's how old southern ladies are. Right? But it means we can get away with
a whole hell of a lot. If you do not have that heteronormative appearing thing going, what you end up looking like is either very considerate, very polite, or depending on either side of the slash, just like a really good supportive partner. So will there be some people who tells a man men aren't supposed to do this and then you get all nauseous and you wanna roll your eyes or whatever. Sure. Sure. But for the most part, you know, you can just go, but I'm
just helping my partner out. And most people are just gonna think you're a really nice human for doing a thing for your partner. Yeah. You know, it what's funny, I just wanna throw this in real quick. I'm talking about the car doors. I I had been doing that, you know, since we we met Mhmm. Initially. And and the funny thing is is that, you know, since the boys were young, they witnessed me doing this like you talk.
Mhmm. And, what's funny is the youngest has picked up on it and, you know, when we if he's with us somewhere, he when we get to where we're going, he will get out and open the door for you. And, you know, the kid will do it. They will do it, and I appreciate it. But at this age, 15, all the teenage attitude will do it, never complains, never says, I'm not opening the door for you, mom. But will absolutely do the teenage eye roll and yet still do it. And I'm like, I'm not complaining. I just
say thank you. We move we move on. And, you know, there's that's kind of been for anybody who is raising little humans to not be assholes, that's my whole goal has always been to raise small humans to become not assholes. And since they are, at least, assigned male at birth minimum, to, not keep repeating some of the bullshit from all the generations. Alright? We don't do boys will be boys in this fucking house. But where was I going with that goddamn? Oh, so for I couldn't help you there. No.
You could not. It it is a thing because this thing we talked about. If you are raising small humans and you are the, oh my god, they're gonna notice and they're gonna ask uncomfortable questions. Maybe it does depend on how observant your child is, how curious they are, and if they have a filter or not. Yes. But when our kids started asking questions, and it was the oldest because that's how he is. And it was because he had enough memory of me never doing this for anybody else
ever. And these were small things, making a cup of coffee, doing that, like, really small things that don't look kinky. The question I got was, why are you doing this? Why do you do that? What and they know him as Mr. John. Why do you do this for Mr. John? And my answer was very simple because it makes him happy, because I want to, because I like taking care of him. Like I could come up with all these reasons that were
in no way kinky. So yes, if you have people, small humans or not, living around you who might start going, why are you doing that? Because you've never done that before. Right? You can just say it's a it's about love. It's about care. It's, you know, just trying to be nice, whatever. If you even choose to answer it, but that's how we did. So when I say they're subtle and and unclockable, I don't mean the people who are around you all the time might not notice if there's a behavior
shift. What I mean is nothing looks kinky from the outside. And there are things that don't have to mean anything to even another kinky person. They only have to have meaning to you and your partner. That that's it. The other sort of subtle, unclockable one is one every kinkster can do, and guess what? Most of y'all do it, and you just aren't thinking of it that way. And that is sending the text or sending the DM, dom to sub, saying go do this thing. Sub to dom.
Hey. Can I do this thing? Can I have it's as subtle as it gets unless you were worried somebody's reading you messages? And then, I mean, maybe we need to have a talk about, like, phone security and, you know, deleting your history or whatever password security. I
don't know. But in general, if you are the only one that has access to a device that you can use to communicate with a partner, you can do almost anything if if it's like you get the message and you go behind closed doors to do something or or whoo, you go into the bathroom. Now people raising small humans, the bathroom is not sacrosanct for several years for many of us. So, but yeah. I mean, long distance, that's how we did all kinds of things, especially sexually.
JB loved loved to get me riled up and edge myself in the middle of my work day. So that by the time we got to our nighttime phone sex ritual, I was, like, keyed up. Right? And so nobody knew what I was doing in the bathroom stall. Like, I can keep quiet, and I could be, like, not make anybody else uncomfortable. That's just, like, unclockable as I think as you get. You're just getting up from your desk and going to the restroom. Did you just look at your phone and get a text? Sure. Sure you
did. Sure you did. But they don't know. They assume you go go into the bathroom. God they should not assume anything else. I've got questions for your workplace. If anybody is wondering what anybody's doing in the bathroom. Like, you can you can have that kind of thing where it is very, very kinky, very sexual, very, very whatever. As long as it's something you can do behind closed doors that nobody else is gonna
watch you do. You know, how many of us I know not all, but how many of us have gone out in public with a toy stuck in an orifice somewhere. Right? Yeah. The only person who knows about that is whoever has access to your underwear, assuming you're wearing any. If you put a toy in an orifice, wear underwear over that. Just just it gets messy is all I'm saying. Free tip from me to you. But, yeah, we do a lot of things that it's I find it I think sometimes I say it's easier because I'm a service
sub. Because it's like, hey, daddy. What do you want me to do for you? What is a thing I can do for you and to serve? Right? But I think even if you're not a service hub and you're just like, I want my partner to have control. Okay. That can involve asking for permission for things. Only doing things when you're explicitly told. Even if you don't ask the question, you and your partner have an agreement that your the Dom will tell you when to do the thing. Do you have to maybe learn how to
talk in code a little bit? Sure. The ask permission one, text and DM, you know, even from the same room, whenever that's available. Sure. But I was thinking about it, and I'm very proud I'm proud of myself for actually remembering after having thought about it. One thing to try if being on your being on a device and being able to silently send a message to each other is not an option. Set up a signal. Set up, some code words. Set up a here's what I'll do
to ask you something. And so and you have to communicate it ahead of time so both partners know what's going on. The one I thought of because I thought back to for a while, I because I got a little little out of hand with treat yourself. Okay. It was a it was a little much. So JB stepped in and said, if you want a treat, whatever, however we define treat, you have to ask permission. Now we were able to do it all through text, email, DMs, like, quietly. Nobody knew
what we were talking about. Right. But in public, what I I would either lean over and whisper, but if I got real shy or it was too close quarters or somebody was fucking nosy, the thing that came to mind that you can do when you have to negotiate it ahead of time is to ask your dom, hey. Do you want dessert? Now if your dom knows what you're actually saying is, I would like dessert, please. Can I have permission? Right? Then they have an appropriate response. Maybe
the answer is yes. And that means both of y'all get dessert. Maybe they say something like, I don't want any but you should have some if you want. Your dom just looks like a nice human being who just gave you permission to do a thing, right? There are some that if you're trying to be a not notice, if you're trying to be super subtle, you might not wanna ask in a public place in front of other people, do you need to go to the bathroom? Because I
need to go to the bathroom. That one might or can I go to the bathroom? No. Maybe. Maybe stay away from some of those. That will get questions. But if you can find a way to ask for something that you need permission from your dom to do in a way that lets them know, I'm actually asking if I can do this but I'm just trying to make sure my grandma don't know what we're talking about over here. Right? That could be a way. It's twisting the question, but you have to negotiate it first. True
true. Now, thankfully, we've never had to do that because, my family when I have to be around my family, they know I have to get some alone time. I gotta be out of the crowd for a while. And JB knows to just wander and follow me or to keep his phone on him so I can text if I have a question or need permission for something. But there are all sorts of ways. People ask us all the time, what are some
things we can do? Well, I can tell you what we do, and I can tell you some random ideas that come to mind, but none of that might speak to you. You've gotta think about what you, as a submissive, are willing to do, want to do, are capable physically, mentally, emotionally of doing. And the dom's gotta think about, well, what do I want my sub to do for me? Or what rules do I want them we're gonna get into rules in a second. You know, do I want them
to ask permission for things? Do I want to tell them they can't do something until you know, how what is it that's gonna make the power exchange feel good to you that is not necessarily around the getting naked naked, wearing a collar, being twisted into some, you know, unique body position for the fuckery. Like Mhmm. What is in your personal life? Some things that we did early on, and I still kind of do even though sometimes I wish I didn't, but it's fine. I'll do it anyway.
I call and make JB's appointments. I have more access to this man's medical records than he does because I know the password, and it's saved on my computer. Okay? When it's time to deal with billing, I'm probably the one calling. When it's time to reschedule, I'm me who hates the phones, yes. It's an act of service. Because if left to his own devices, JB's not calling. JB's not calling because he doesn't wanna
go in the first place. So as a submissive who wants to do if this is what you how you are, if you want to do things for your dom, make their life easier to serve to whatever. Right? However you define it for yourself. What are some things they struggle with that you know you can do? Right? I find, and this a lot of people I know are like this, I've I've been this way as a parent. I am this way as a partner. The things I struggle to do for myself, making a fucking phone call. Oh, my god.
Will I procrastinate for six months? Of course. I can do for somebody else. Not always easily, but more willingly, quicker. Right? So I'm not gonna make a phone call on my own behalf unless I literally have no fucking choice and it's the only way. But for JB, he makes it a task, I'll do it. Or I just know it needs to be done and I'll I'll check-in. Hey, can I do that thing for you? That's another way to ask your dom something in public without anybody necessarily
noticing something is air quote off. Right? Or different. Is, hey. Can I do that thing for you? Hey. Do you need help with that? Talk about it ahead of time. Negotiate it ahead of time so that a a partner who is, like, in a different space and might not be in that headspace knows the words you're gonna use and how you're gonna frame a request or whatever.
But for finding things you can do that are not erotic, specifically kinky in the the under the umbrella BDSM of activities kinky, you know, sexual, what can you do for one another? Subs. What, do you struggle with that you would love for a Dom to just be in fucking charge of? Now, is it the mundane shit? Take your medication, go to bed on time, Less screen time. Yeah. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it's that shit that we know we're supposed to do, but we can't make ourselves do
it. Well, maybe if it appeals to you and a partner, your dom can do that for you. Those kinds of things you know they're kinky. You know you're doing them because you're the dom or you're the sub and the only reason you're allowing this is because it's a power exchange. Nobody else knows that. If somebody happens to see it in public or you're in a public space, you just have to frame it in a way that either somebody kinda goes, oh, that's different, or they go, oh, that's so nice. They're so
sweet. Or don't even give a fuck. Right? But just you don't want anybody asking uncomfortable questions. Now for the folks out there who are like, well, it shouldn't matter. Now I don't care. And I just do what I want. I am very happy for you. But some of us don't wanna have those conversations with strangers, family members, children, coworkers. Some of us don't. So we would like to stay under the radar thinking of this.
Before I move on to the next one, can you think of any other sort of subtle, not noticeable? I mean, for us there, you know, there's you walking on a particular side Yes. When we're out. And got in that was the most obvious king thing I think we've ever done in public when I got in trouble Oh, yeah. When I wasn't. And it was the closest to bratty I've ever come. Mhmm. And did did I get moved to the correct side of JB by my hair? Yes. I did. Yes. I did. Was it at, like, an empty parking lot
and we were not being watched? Yes. That was but that's the thing that's the most openly, like, dominant you've ever met. And oddly, you've never done it after that either. No. No. No. Because I'm not trying to be out here disobeying these streets. Okay? I was both mortified and turned on and put in my place, which is what I fucking needed. But also, you know what? I was mad at you at the time because we were kinda 2020, I think. Maybe 2021.
We were barely going out. When we were going out, you were not keeping up with any of our things we do because we're power exchange y, and I think I was a little pissed. And when you weren't enforcing anything, I was like, okay. One time one time in my submissive life have I been like that and never again. Never It's called giving you enough rope. I guess so. But you know what? After that, you started, watching and, like, paying attention to the power exchanger stuff.
So just saying. Yep. Okay. So the subtle under the radar thing, activities and only means something to you. That's one way. The other thing that we tend to do, and it can wrap up into and connect with these subtle activities, is we love a good routine, a good ongoing rule, and when possible, a schedule of things. Part of this is so that if you kind of know what's coming and what's supposed to happen, sometimes you can plan your the
other parts of your life around that. Like, oh, if I know at noon every day, I'm supposed to make this phone call to my dominant partner. That's the thing that that's the thing I've been told to do every Monday. Right? To the best of your ability, you can kinda move things around in your life sometimes to go, yes. I can make that time. Right? Mhmm. And if you can see something coming down the line where you can't, you have hopefully enough time to go, hey. We're gonna have to
shift this. And you're doing what you wanna do within your power exchange. The dom has the control. The sub is doing the thing, whatever whatever. But you're not wondering and waiting for when the next time you're gonna get to do a specifically submissive thing or a specifically dominant thing. You already have a fucking plan. I love me a good schedule and I love me a good routine. That you do.
Now that for me is very comforting. Now some people would rather stab themselves in the eye with a paperclip than follow a routine. This might not be applicable to you. They okay. But some of us know, even when we hate routine, I'm not that person, but I know y'all exist, that we do better with routine. It's about finding a routine that you're willing to do. And, for anybody who's going, no. Routines are like 20 steps and 10 pages of no. No.
They're not. That's the thing you do in the morning and the thing you do at night. JB called me in, long distance called me every morning. Mhmm. It was about 6AM. Yep. Was it 6AM your time? Yeah. Which meant it was five 5AM. Yep. 5AM my time. Yep. And And you were an hour behind. Right. Time zones are hard. Y'all know how I am with numbers. Okay. So that was a thing we worked in long distance every day. He was gonna call, and he was gonna wake me up. Was it possible that I could have missed
that call? Sure. But I made sure that my ringer was on in a crazy obnoxious loud whatever. I knew I could wake up to that. So that that was feasible for us. That was part of our routine. We also knew at the end of the night, we were gonna talk and it was probably gonna be phone sex. Look, it was probably gonna be phone sex in the morning too, but it depended on the mood. Right? Right. By the end of the day, same thing. But we had those two things that were, like,
they were a part of our routine. Right. And they were things that we looked forward to. And they were things that were done in my bedroom behind closed doors. Everyone's everyone's small, there would be a child in the bed because long distance, I still had Mhmm. The oldest was, like, seven seven, six seven. Youngest was, like, two three. So you could conceivably, I could have a toddler in a bed. But all that meant was when I picked up the phone, I was like, you
know, hey. Whatever I would call him that was not daddy because I was not explaining that to my child. I got a kid in the bed. And it just meant we didn't talk about the same things that we might normally. But the routine Was still there. Was still there. Correct. Now the routine is much more boring and way less sex. The morning routine, when I finally drag my ass out of bed, I make sure that JB has his probiotic
where he needs it. I make his iced coffee for the day, and I offer, if he's not already eating breakfast, to make his breakfast. Mhmm. That's the morning routine. Now there's other stuff in the day. We I love a routine. I'll have a routine all day long. The end of the day routine, now that's behind closed doors. Nobody can see. Right.
And it could get loud, but when at times when we could not make a lot of extra noise because children were way too close to our room, it was getting permission to go to bed, which actually ties into my third thing for doing DS. I mean, nobody else will notice. But it it was I have to ask permission to go to bed. And what that routine looked like is I get the bed pulled down, I get the pillows in the way JB wants them. I get the room kind of like situated.
And I say that I have a vanity, in the bedroom where I do my skincare and makeup or whatever, and I have a chair. And it's my job to make sure that chair is pushed in. In case JB gets up in the middle of the night, he would trip and, like, do a cartwheel in the fucking bedroom. He is not supposed to be doing that. That's not gonna work out. So that's my job. And that is very mundane stuff, but I do that every night. Right. And then and we've talked about this a million
times. This is not new for anybody who's been here for a minute. I lean over the fucking bed and I wait to get permission to go to bed. Yep. Now I do a lean over because these knees are not kneeling. That's not happening. Yeah. It's it's been a it's been a hot minute. We had to change that up Mhmm. You know, because of your knees. And, it actually makes it kinda easier on me too now with my back.
It we we did not measure it purposely, but our bed and our with our mattresses on it are it's like a really good height for Mhmm. A lot of things that can happen when you're bent over a bed, by the way. So that that will happen every fucking day. Those two things, the way I start my day and the way I end my day. Now some there might be
some subtle differences. I crave my routine so much that even if JB, and this is very rare, needs to go to bed before I do, like, he's sick and he's, like, going to bed at 08:30 and I'm, like, I'm sorry. I just can't. I don't wanna go to bed right now. And he's, like, you don't have to. He'll get in bed and be sitting there just to read before he's ready to go to sleep. Y'all, I will bend right over his lap in that bed and be like, I'm sorry. I'm gonna need future permission. He's like, okay.
Rub the butt. When it's time you have permission, I come to bed. And so we still do the thing even if we have to modify it. And again, that is if somebody was watching, if we had an audience that is more obviously kinky, but it's behind closed doors and we're not screaming, and there's not, like, whips and paddles making a whole bunch of noise. It's a very quiet moment that Mhmm. Nobody is clocking unless they're literally got their ear down at the crack at the bottom
of your door. Right? And if they do, why what? What? Let's have a conversation about balance. What the fuck is happening? So that's what I mean when I say routine. It can be if you both want it to be something where it's wrapped up into, like, every hour of the day, there's something you're doing that's part of the routine. Or it can be something really simple. First thing in the morning, last thing at night, everything in the middle is whatever the day brings. Right?
That's that's what and and those are things that me putting out JB's probiotic, no child is gonna ask me why I'm giving this man his pill. They're gonna be like, why don't you put out all the other pills that he's got? In my head, that's not the rule. I do this one. I keep up with this one. I don't know why it's that one. He's got a pill thing for all the others, but that's that's how we worked it
out. It doesn't look like anything. Me asking if he needs me to make him breakfast just looks like I'm being a nice human being. A lot of the things that you can do as Dom or sub where other people are watching literally just make you look like a caring, kind human being who wants the best for your partner. Truly. If you if you play with the wording you use and you you are mindful of the activities, you're just gonna look like, you know, a fucking hero to somebody who likes your partner
more than they like you. You know, they'll be like, oh, you're really taking care of my bestie. Yay. And you're like, oh, yeah. I'm taking care of your bestie. You'd be amazed what I'm doing to that ass. Yeah. But you don't have to say all that. Final one, unless you have some more you wanna add to routines, rules. Rules? I have rules. That let me do the rules first. Okay. Rules are really good because that's not the rules I follow, JB is never standing over me while I
follow those rules. No. So nobody's clocking if I'm following a rule that I agreed to. But my rules are fairly simple. Always speak with respect. I just think that should be a human rule, but, you know, it works. Always speak with respect. I walk on a certain side of him. Do I look sometimes like a crazy person trying to get to the correct side of JB? Maybe. But I don't give a fuck what strangers on a parking lot thing, so it don't matter. The permission to go to bed, that's a rule.
You know, those kinds of things. Like, making coffee is a rule, but we wrap it into service. We wrap it into routine. Mhmm. Those things kinda start to cross over depending on what they are. That allows me to do things as a submissive even when nothing else is going on in our power exchange life. So when it all goes to shit or we're, you know, we're visiting family and and completely out of our element and have no real privacy, I can still do these things and they're
meaningful to us. Now what I will say is I have found to be important, your mileage may vary, is if I have to do a lot of really subtle things because we're spending a lot of time in front of family or friends or some professional whatever whatever. And I'm doing all the stuff that I just know I'm supposed to do, and I don't I'm not getting any direct, hey, baby girl. Do this kind of stuff.
What I need from JB is to acknowledge those things when we're in private, when we are alone, to to let me know that he knows I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. Because I can go a long time and just do what I'm supposed to do as a submissive, the things I agreed to do with little to no acknowledgment. I can. And I have. Sometimes you just have to. But do I do a whole hell of a lot better if JB makes the extra effort to go, I see you. I see what you're doing. You're
doing good. I'm proud of you. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. Yeah. Because then I know I'm not just out there doing it all my lonesome, and my my Dom is just doing whatever the daddy's on vacation. Kayla's over here, like, grinding. You know?
So that is one of the, I think, potentially challenge potential challenges of the kind of power exchange that you put on a routine that's just an ongoing rule that does not require direct oversight all the time is that it can be unintentionally taken for granted. It can be, assumed that it will happen and then so
then there's very little acknowledgment. So to the doms out there, to whatever capacity partner needs, acknowledge the things that, yeah, they're supposed to be doing anyway because it it can make a difference. I will feel a lot more submissive not while I'm following the rule, but when at some random point that I didn't, you know, didn't know was coming, JB goes, good job. I saw that. Oh. Oh, get me right in the subby field. He's still a little subby hard. Oh my god.
Because look, the praise kink is strong. I want I want I want to hear that I'm doing good. The validation gives me life. You know? So okay. So the final one Mhmm. And this is very this will be how do I put this? Location and audience dependent. And these are some things that have gotten us through. And it's small points of connection. That don't mean anything to anybody but you and or you can do behind a closed
door. K? And quietly. Our constant point of connection, no matter what the hell is going on, is not that I ask permission to go to bed. It's how that happens. Assed out y'all. Just and y'all know me. I'm probably wiggling it because by my standing still, I cannot. I will entice you with this jiggle. Okay? The junk in the trunk is jiggling. Please come touch it is what I'm begging for. And JV
will touch my ass. Now sometimes, it's just a butt rub because he's tired because there's somebody outside the hallway because we're in a place with thin walls and we don't want smack sounds. Sometimes he'll smack my ass because we have the luxury of it because, we're not worried about noise. Whatever whatever. But we have that point every day. Right. You wanna see me get cranky? You wanna see me, like, have my little stubby feelings hurt?
Let me miss that point of connection. It doesn't And it even goes a little bit further beyond that because after that, when I give her permission to go to bed Mhmm. We both like to read in bed. Mhmm. Okay? So once settled in, you know, she'll pick up her book, I'll be reading my book. But then once the books get put down Mhmm. And it's time for bed, we always have a little banter. If you're awake enough for it. If I'm awake enough. Most more than not, I am.
But anyway, you know, we we have a little banter that that we go back and forth with. And, you know, there there's nothing really inherently power dynamic y about it. Right. But you know what? Some of those moments that we've had like that, I have laughed the hardest. Oh, my god. Laughed until it was sick to my stomach. Yeah. Yeah. You you know? And, you know, it it's important to have the DS connection, but also that just
general connection. Mhmm. And I you know, does our parks is it a specific part of our power exchange? No. But the way we live our power exchange life Mhmm. If anybody recalls the episode a few weeks ago on twenty four seven and total power exchange and the differences and the similarities. Right? Part of the reason we call ourselves twenty four seven is because in nearly every interaction, that is definitely a daddy domino. This is definitely a baby girl. And that's the energy we're bringing.
Now so what that means is I get the fucking zoomies, y'all. There's banter, but I am zoomie ing. Okay? Oh, yeah. And JB is Those bedtime zoomies are very real. Yeah. You think that I either, like, had an energy drink or took a drug of some sort. I don't know what comes over me, but there we are. And JB uses the the power and control and authority that I grant him to calm me the fuck down. Right? So even if it's not a specific kinky power exchange moment, the conversation has nothing to do
with that. I'm not asking for permission. I'm not following a rule. We are just existing with one another. The energy is still there. And I think sometimes, especially if you're going through like we did and we got a secondary series we're doing this year about reconnecting in our fire exchange. You know, when you have to go through these sort of droughts of not being able to, like, really feel your power change and express it deeply and live it deeply, the small points of connection
Are big. Are big. They will keep you going. But also, they don't have to again, they don't have to look like anything from the outside. Do do the do our children think we are crazy? Because they have heard us laugh hysterically for many nights over, like, when the 19 year old was still living at home, 15 year old yeah. They would probably think, oh my god. My mother is insane, but she's laughing. So okay. Like, I got
protective kids. So that's sweet too. But, you know, we know that we're feeding each other's daddy dom baby girl energy. Right? We know that we're having this intimate moment. We're not screaming our conversation. So if it does get kinky, nobody can hear that, but people can can hear us. I mean, I I've we've both gone, oh my god. Oh my god. My stomach hurts so bad. Oh my god. I can't stop laughing. And then I get to do the, oh my god. I'm about to PM myself. If you know, you know on that one.
And so some of those things are going to be meaningful to your power exchange and not be explicitly power exchange y. But Right. If you have the type of power exchange with a partner where the Dom has, like, a voice, a tone, and energy.
Right? And you as this must have have a tone of voice and energy that you feel comfortable and you're, like, being around other people and maybe speaking that way, you can have the most innocent sounding you can talk about going to the grocery store tomorrow for all I fucking care, but if you bring that energy to that very small conversation that might last forty five seconds, you can have this whole
moment. And nobody knows what the fuck's going on other than y'all are crazy people who can't stop laughing at nothing, and you're having a wonderful time. Mhmm. Or maybe you're not laughing. Maybe it's this flirtatious thing. Maybe it's serious. But internally, you're each feeling your power exchange within within that conversation that nobody is, like, in on. Are there ways to flirt and to bring your energy where where people can see? Yes. I am an awkward human being, and I don't know
how that works. So, also, I don't like to be perceived in public like that. So I don't do that. But if you can do it and it works, I think that's great. But those small points of connection, whether they're through physical touch or it's energy or it's a conversation or it's, you know, one that JB has started doing more and more. I fucking love it. Oh my god. My little baby girl heart cannot we'll be walking somewhere and he'll just put his hand out. And I know what the fuck that
means. Follow me. Take my hand. I got you. And I'm like, sometimes I'm a little too far behind. I gotta run and catch up and then look. I'm not being subtle. Then I'm very excited. But sometimes I just put my hand out. And all we're doing is holding hands in public. And we understand that we have a privilege with that. There's there's not a community out there that's gonna look at us weird for fucking holding hands in public.
But, you know, we can have that and they're they don't look like shit other than, oh, that guy likes her and they're holding hands. No. My dom just said, get your ass up here. Let me let me protect you. Let me guide you. That's what the fuck it meant. But it looks like we're holding hands. Yeah. But you know the the the point of connection that there's there's so many things. You know, every morning I get up and before we go to bed,
she sets up my coffee pods. All I have to do is push the button, turn it on, and and let it do its thing. So, you know, every morning when I get up, I'm making coffee, but there is that connection to you. Which is why I nearly cry on the rare occasions that somehow gets forgotten by both of us. Just sail right on past them.
Like, but I didn't do much. But but even even beyond that, you know, we early on, one of the things we used to do is we used to go out for coffee in the evening at least once a week. Yeah. Those are the days. Yep. You know, we don't do that as often anymore. Neither one is drink as much coffee and other Shit's expensive. And it's expensive as hell now. But, you know, sometimes what we'll do, we'll just get in the car together and drive, go to the park, sit in the park.
We have had many a conversation sitting in the car with the car running. Yes. We're killing the environment we know, but it's hot. It's Florida. Yeah. And we did not get out of the vehicle. No. But we just had, like, thirty minute, forty five minute conversation. Especially during COVID times when things were closed or there was a lot of social distancing. We wanted to get out away from being parents for five seconds, and we would just go somewhere and sit in the car and
talk. Yeah. And and, you know, it it seems like a small thing in some ways, but, you know, you you understand this. We are married. We have a house together. We have kids. Business. And our house is also part of our business. You know? Yep. So so when we're home, per se, we are always on. Mhmm. So sometimes stepping away from all that and getting in the car and just going for a drive is is such a nice way to kinda put that to the side and connect them in other
ways. And sometimes we go to have those conversations and they are absolutely about our power exchange. They're they're either about the power exchange or I'm following rules. I'm asking questions. JB is telling me that whatever whatever. Yes. Sometimes. But sometimes it's I go back to it's the energy. He is always daddy. I am always baby girl, and that comes out in a lot of different ways.
And so if we can have a relaxed conversation, which anybody with a hectic life, for whatever reason, knows that is not always easy to do with a partner. Right? So when we can take those moments and just have it just be a little quiet, we just spend the time together. We'll have we both love a comfortable silence. I know by hearing my voice, you don't think that's possible, but, actually It's very true. I don't need to feel fill all silences, just the ones where I've
got a microphone in front of me. Okay? I actually can go a very long time without talking. It's kind of weird. Mhmm. But, so sometimes we're just existing together. Yeah. And sometimes we're having conversations about mundane things, but we will depending on the mood, depending on the topic, that feeling of I am submissive. He is dominant. He is in charge. I'm gonna defer to him. That will come through in those conversations no matter what they're about.
And if you either don't worry about a tone shift or or you're really good at code switching, or just saying the words mean more than the tone between you and a partner, you can do this in public if you're talking about mundane things. Right? I am finally at an age where I don't give a fuck if a stranger looks at me funny because I get a little giggly while talking to JB in public. I'm not gonna go full on have my fucking zoomies, like, like, full baby girl, like, somebody
give her a sedative baby girl. I'm not I'm not gonna do that in public, but I'll giggle. I'll be a little flirty. I'll be a little I'll let my voice soften as long as I'm not shouting and, like, drawing attention. Right? So if you either have the comfort level to let your tone come out or you can the word you can make put the meaning in the words and skip the tone, you can have that in public.
You know? You gotta have a little bit of a, I don't give a fuck attitude because sometimes you'll say things in a way or with a tone that a stranger's gonna be like, what the fuck are they doing? Why do you care? You're gonna forget I exist the moment you leave this fucking building. It doesn't matter. Mhmm. That kind of attention, I don't think most of us need to worry about drawing to ourselves because that is just a nosy person who doesn't know and got an opinion. Whatever. Right.
Now if we were loudly screaming about our next spanking scene in the middle of fucking Starbucks, that's different. And I personally don't think that's a good idea. Please don't do that. But if we're talking about the grocery store and JB teases me and I get a little, like, I get a little silly and giggly, Fine. When we're talking about hard things or
we're having more serious conversation. If I get a little pouty, if I get a little, I don't know if I'm capable of whining in public or I think other people can hear me. That's my childhood trauma speaking more than anything. But you know, again, the energy, if you are in tune with and have and go, yes, I know what my sickness of energy is. I know what my dom energy is. I know what that feels like and how that comes out verbally and body language.
Again, unless you are forcing people to their knees in front of you in the grocery store. Don't do that. You can bring that out and have these little intimate moments and nobody's gonna know. JB always pushes the grocery cart. One, I don't think he trusts me not to hit his ankles, but that's that's smart. That's wise. That's wise. I last time I went to the grocery store with my mother. Got her ankle. It's wise, but it's also a control thing.
Right? And if I'm feeling a little playful, I might say something. Daddy dom energy comes right the fuck out. And he's and all he's doing is telling me that he will push the cart. Thank you very much. Nobody knows what the fuck that means to us but us. Right? It's it's those things. It's those moments. I'm probably beating a dead horse. I've certainly made my point, but I have an irrational fear of being misunderstood. So that's fine. We're not being clear. Anything else you would add to that?
So let's talk real quickly. Yes. I'm capable of it. Of the benefits of this. Now this will not be for everybody. Some people want bedroom only, fuckery only, and or they only want it behind closed doors even if it is more subtle or it's not overtly air quote that because what the fuck does this even mean, overtly kinky. Right? Some people just want that and that that's fine. There's nothing wrong with it. That is legit. That's valid. Some people are only gonna show that side of themselves
at a party, at the dungeon. That's that's all fine. That is all fine. I think about the way we are, where if we waited so we could have a private moment where we could be as loud as we wanted behind closed doors, y'all, we wouldn't have gotten kinky for the past, like, five or six years. I just We'd we'd still be waiting. And for us, our roles are not something we do. They are a part of who we are. So it feels a little bit easier to just sort of incorporate
things into our daily life. If that resonates Yeah. Then this part where we talk about the benefits and and doing these things, and this is for y'all. That that's who we're talking to. You do not have to do this. If this is not if this is not your thing, fucking ignore it and skip it. But if you're like, god, we never I never feel like my sub self. I never feel like my dom self. Or you're a switch and you're like, well, I always feel like this side. I never get to
feel like that side. This is what these kinds of things, these subtle, not noticeable ways of being in your power extreme self. That's what this is for. For those times when you just you're never gonna get the fuckery. Not never, but it'll be a hot minute. Right? Raising small humans, you know. Caregiving for older adults, you fucking know. Yep. Chronic illness, injury, like
Any number of things. Anything. Right? I mean, we we did not necessarily set out to do that with any intent, but it just kind of worked out that way that a lot of the the routines and rules that we have that even when life does rear its ugly head and intervene, we can fall back on those routines at the very least and keep that much going. Right. And what we learn, and we've been talking about, on and off in 2025, is that it keeps you going, but I don't think it can be a
forever thing. It could it kept us going through COVID where then we had children at home all day every day. It kept us going through some stressful financial times. It kept us going through caregiving for a, a dying family member. It it got us through multiple vehicular accidents Mhmm. In this family. Yep. But it's not to for us, it's not sustainable for too long. We were we got so disconnected from one another from shut because the routine went from routine to
rut. The, I call it autopilot, being able to just do the things we agreed to do. We still were open to negotiating. If something had stopped working, I could have said to JB, hey. I need to renegotiate this. He could have come in and gone, hey. Let's renegotiate this. We were very comfortable in the things we chose partly because there was not a lot of effort on anybody's part for it. We it had we'd done it so long. It was just like a thing we did, but also it was just a a
routine part of the day. It just flowed. It wasn't an extra thing. There was not a lot of friction. It was not like, oh, we wanna play with the vlogger and this paddle and get the the gag out and do and there'll be you'll you'll kneel for all of thirty seconds, Kayla. I promise I'll get you up afterwards, but let's try the rest. Those took effort, time, energy, and feeling like we could be that free. I have not screamed through an orgasm in a
hot ass minute. I look forward to the day when I don't worry about who can hear me. I did moan at an orgasm, recently, and then JB went this is before we needed the AC all the time. JB went, our windows are open. Well, I hope the neighbor enjoyed the show. I forgot the window was on.
But it I my point is is those things are good to be able to go on autopilot during stressful times, to have the routine to fall back on when you do not have the mental energy with each other to bring the energy we were just talking about for for those points of connection. I think they're beneficial. They allow you to keep living your power exchange at a time when so much else has to take precedence. Right?
But I don't think it's sustainable. We did it for about five years essentially and finally hit a point where we looked at one another and went, okay, we've had this much of the stress relieved from us. Can we use that energy that we just gained back to fit to get back to our power exchange stuff? To figure out what it looks like now with a college student and an older teen and, you know, a different kind of business life and, like, all these things. Like, let's figure this out. Right?
So the there's the benefit to doing it and then there's a downside. You gotta watch yourself. But for the people who have lives that temporarily is more who I'm thinking of because that's my experience, where you will not always be waking up in the middle of the night with a small child. You will not, sadly, always be taking care of an older adult in your life. It's that is sad, but that is also reality that will not be forever.
These things will pass and in the meantime, here are some things you can do that don't take a little bit of effort in the setup and in the teaching yourself to do to remember to do these things and to build the habit and to build the routine for yourself. But then they they you don't have to think about them as much. Like, you know to do them and you just do them. That's where I go back to the acknowledgment. I can do a whole hell of a lot of shit on autopilot.
I just need JB to to let me know that he sees it. We years ago. I don't even know when. It might still be in the twenty twenties, but maybe earlier. You know, we've done the the episode on gratitude and acknowledgment. And it's important from both sides of the slash. I will say, if you are focusing on power exchange that nobody else is gonna notice and it's just meaningful to you and it's subtle and it's, you know, under the radar kind of thing, acknowledgment and gratitude
are even more important. Mhmm. Regardless of your reason for using this kind of power exchange, whether it's to replace the fucker you can't get, whether it's to add to because fuckery's is hard to do. Whatever your reasons are. Right? Because it feels right and that's the kind of power exchange you want. Gratitude and acknowledgement are a must because I speak from the service missive perspective where I take on too much and then resentment builds. And that is the thing I've
gotta work on. I know. But the the quickest way to knock out potential resentment when I take on extra because that's what we need and and I want to do those things. I am agreeing and, you know, consenting to those things, is when JV sees it and knows and says, not all the time. Not like you don't have to gas me up every fucking five minutes. But, you know, at the end of a a long hard week. Now do I know how to accept that gratitude
and those compliments? No? No. That's another thing we gotta work on. But I they are important to Say thank you, baby girl. Thank you, darling. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he'll come recently, it wasn't, specific to power exchange, I don't think. It was just there had been a lot going on, and I just took care of it. Partly, I'm the household administrator. I'm the primary parent, and I'm a service sub. So it can get fun. JB came up and said, I just want you to know, I see all
this that you're doing. I'm really appreciative. Like, he like, he was sincere and kind like he is. He's not a bitch like me. He was like, just and I and I looked at him and went, who are you talking why are you saying I don't handle it well? I was like, I do it because I love y'all. Like, I was defensive. That's where his dom energy has to come out, telling me to shut the hell up in the nice way. You know?
So I can tell you that, acknowledgement and gratitude are important, but I can also tell you that some of us don't know how to handle that. We're not we're not graceful about it. So, unfortunately, I we said this earlier. We cannot give you a a laundry list of items that you can just do. If you do these things, you have power exchange that nobody on those. It is remember that whole kink is customizable thing we talked about last week? Yeah. This is those times. This is where you look at your
life. You look at your on each side. You look at what you can do, what you're willing to do, where you struggle, where you could use more help, where for submissives, where you're willing to give up the control of a thing that you're struggling over. Look. Look. I know I struggle to go to bed at a decent time. And, yes, as part of our power exchange, when JB says it's time to go to bed, it's time to go to bed. But that was not when I willingly gave up. When we were long distance
Yeah. No. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. I did not give that up. Now, I mean, I wanna go to bed with him. I wanna get my bedtime zoomies. I wanna, like, cuddle with him or let my anxiety make me panic about his eventual, you know, no longer being on this earth, but he will. We're going out like Thelma and Louise. It's like, I want the so I don't mind, but there was a point in time I could not give up that control. Like, So there are always some things you know you need guidance on and you're not ready to
to accept the help. Like, that's fine. But those are the things you look for. What are the things that you can subs. What are the things you can do for a partner? What are the things you can ask permission for that you're willing to and they're willing to grant permission? And then you do some thinking ahead of time. How what code word can I use? What how can I ask this so you'll know what I'm asking? How can I say this to you so you'll know I'm telling you to do a
thing? You're gonna have to get creative if it's not immediately coming to you. But those are the kinds of things. And then whatever you can do behind closed doors that nobody can fucking hear, Absolutely. That's that's the thing. Like, that's the little bit of fuckery we get that I that keeps us going. So I'm gonna try not to I'll go you one of them. Please don't do that. That's that's that's what I have. Do you have anything you wanna add? I've talked so much.
My voice is going. I I think you you, you did a fine job. Thank you, daddy. We will do do a bonus section. Yep. But I know we have to say the thing and do the thing and We do have to say the whole thing. We do. But we do this differently now, so I don't know how to do it. Are we ready, baby girl? Sure. Keep it kinky, y'all. And we'll see you next week. Did your button work? Yeah. Okay. Cool. Okay. Natalie, can I talk to the crickets? Can you talk to can we talk to
the crickets? Can we talk to the crickets? Sure. We can talk to the crickets. Okay. Which thing do you wanna complain about first? We're keeping our senses of humor over here. Come on a journey. Oh my god. Oh my god. Come on a journey. So yesterday, I I noticed that, some spots in the lawn was getting very brown and dry. We're we're in that season where we're preheating. Mhmm. And and for Florida, we do not
get April showers. No. From from this point, we don't get showers really until June when the rainy season starts. So anyway, I I dove in to kinda try and figure out what was going on with the with that particular zone. And and I found the problem. One of the the sprinkler heads had dry rotted with age. And it wasn't even that old. And it wasn't even that old. We replaced that particular one five years ago.
So I told you I need to run to the hardware store and get get a part to fix that, and get that, you know, fixed up. So I hop in the car, and I head down the road. And I'm about halfway to the hardware store, and cars started acting very very funny, and not in ways that cars should act. Right. And they're normal. So I was like, okay, I hope I can just at least get to the parking lot. Get to the parking lot, pull over for a minute, and I'm trying to figure out what to do.
And then check engine light comes on. So I had two choices. Call tow truck or take chance to get it closer At least get it closer. Closer to the shop. And I I I, you know, took into consideration how a car was running and and whatnot. And I was like, I can do it. And I did. I got the car there, dropped it off, and, they're so packed, it's going to be several days Before they can even look at it. Before they can even look at it.
Yeah. Because everybody's like us. We're keeping our damn car, so we're not spending way too much fucking money on Yeah. So then I had to get an Uber home. Had we have done Ubers before. Mhmm. When we went to London A Million Years ago. Oh, yeah. Outside of that, had you ever done No. Not on not on my own. Me neither. Me neither. I still haven't done it on my own. The Lyft we got this morning to go pick up the, rental car. Yeah. We were together. Yeah. So,
yeah. That so the car is in the shop, undetermined what is wrong with it as of yet, and what we will, you know So there's don't know what's wrong with it. Right. The let's back up. Don't know when it'll get looked at. Don't know what's wrong with it. Mhmm. Don't know what the wrong will cost to fix and how long it will take. And and it's our only vehicle, that, like, around town. Does JB have his Can Am? Yes. Am I mentally prepared to ride on the back of
it? No. Can we strap the 15 year old behind me and all three of us go down like, you know, Greenacres or whatever? No. So so, yeah. It's an unknown. Mhmm. So, And yeah. So yeah. So, you know, then we had to think, okay. Well, we've got stuff going on. There's things you have to do at the end of the week. So we ended up we we rented a car for a few days. And I think part of the reason it was a fairly reasonable cost because we Mhmm. Picked it up Wednesday. We'll drop it off Saturday.
Mhmm. We have to get all of our errands done before 9AM on Saturday Yep. Because we're gonna go without a car for the weekend. Mhmm. Reason being, it tends to be more expensive to rent on the weekend. So we got a very reasonable price from budget. Mhmm. Y'all know our price shop. Best price. Yeah. We then I used to be nervous about this because I'm I'm one of those, but anything can happen in life, and I don't wanna be fucked over. But did I pay in advance for, like, a $25
discount? Yeah. The fuck I did. And me who yeah. I know. I'm submissive. I have control issues because it's an anxiety thing. Did I, with JB's agreement, choose the mystery car option where they tell you what you can expect from the vehicle? It'll have four doors. It'll hold this maybe Maybe it won't ever be in your favor. But what kind you get? You don't know. But it was the cheapest. A hundred and $15 for Wednesday, Thursday, Friday
till 9AM Saturday? Okay. Okay. Now was it a hundred and 35 by the time you added on taxes and shit? Yes. But But still. Still, it was a really good price comparatively. So then I was like, I've never heard I mean, we've used Uber, like, when we've gone to London or whatever because the the where are they? The the taxis or whatever used to be this is a million years ago. Used to be much more expensive, so Uber was the cheap option. Yeah. But I had not heard a lot
good about Uber in the years since. So I'm like, let's check out Lyft. And then I we did a price comparison there. Mhmm. Lyft was $10 cheaper, you said. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And on a couple types of rides, it would have been, like, $30 cheaper. Not that we would have selected that ride, but you know what I mean? Yeah. So Mhmm. Yeah. Didn't did my first ever Lyft. I'd only ever done Uber. Grateful for the human who picked us up. Mhmm. Clean car. Yep. Didn't scare me as a
driver. Nope. And beyond greeting us when we got in the car, left us the fuck alone. Yeah. I was like, awesome. Mhmm. So yeah. Yeah. That that was but there was before, we have not settled it. And I'm not going into details because that part is, like, still, like, private stuff boundaries. But, Jimmy, you're supposed to have a a procedure done Yes. Doctor's office. An important one. We can we don't need we should not skip this one. Mhmm. We should not skip this one. They call and go, hey.
Great news. Your insurance Insurance approved it. Approved it. But your co pay is blah blah blah, and I about fell on the floor. And then and and that will not be the only test he's supposed to have No. The procedure or whatever within the same month, within the same, I think, week. I think the other one's a a couple days after, and we hadn't heard about the cost of that one yet. Nope. Yeah. This is while now we have the mystery car and depending or not mystery car. We have the mystery
problem with the car. We don't know the time or the cost. So we don't know how long we're gonna need to rent a car or how often we're gonna need to rent a car. That's fine. And I was reminded because we we try not to use credit cards too much because part of our financial problems were because somebody take our credit card. And we have learned that we do better. You learn better. You do better. Okay. But what I've mistakes.
What I've forgot, because it's been years since I had to think about it, is if you pay for your rental with a debit card, they take a fucking deposit. And I'm like, wait. Wait. It's it's a bank account. It's a debit card. If I'm not using a credit card, you it's probably easy to assume that I got some cash in the bank, but you can't have all my cash. So you took my payment, and you're holding $250.
I was like, I guess I need to get the credit card back out for this next one because I don't want them holding $250 every fucking week. Anyway, so I have, a procedure Friday Yeah. That I cannot miss. That is not one. I might have to reschedule because the other place is being weird about getting my records to me so I can give them to this place.
We don't know how much that one's gonna cost, and I have not been brave enough to go look at my benefits thing for our insurance and see what the company is. I'm like, no. Just let them bill me, and then I'll call and go, can I have a payment plan? Alright. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So But you know what? You know what? We are keeping our good humor about it. We are. Everything is figureoutable. Mhmm. Not everything is easy, but everything is figureoutable.
So we will figure it out, and we will keep our humor. You know what? If this had happened six months ago, I think JB would be curled up on the floor rocking in the fetal position. I don't think his mental health could have handled it. I would've just run screaming into the dark night. I don't know. I just but we're here now, and we're Mhmm. Yeah. We're It is what it is. That's true. And we're not, like, freaking out. Nope. I mean, we will once we they start talking real numbers. Oh,
yeah. Because, you know, hopefully, it's a Or or the your numbers and my numbers come together and yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But, you know, we're yeah. But so we got the rental car specifically today. Mhmm. Because tonight, day of recording for anybody listening later watching later, the 19 year old has his final performance of his sophomore year of college. What Yeah. What the actual fuck it's the last today, the twenty third is the last day of classes.
Tonight will be literally the last thing he has to do, like, to earn a grade except for finals week. And I think he only has, like, one thing he has to do for that. It's an important thing. It's a are you allowed to to keep being a major to have this as your major thing? He has to he has to do well. It's stressful and important. But yeah. Somehow they're at the end of the fucking college school year. Mhmm. Yeah. So yeah. Oh, and our mystery car?
I I don't know if it was pre determined or the guy at budget have the choice of, like, a couple and chose this. He looked at us and we look ex if you can see us, we look exactly how we look in front of this camera. My hair is back in a ponytail. You can see all my white hair, very little of the three strands of brown hair I have left. JB, to me, does not look old, but he is older. Right? Like, we are older. I'm not gonna pretend otherwise. And this guy at this counter looked at
us and went, you know what? That red Honda Civic out there Cherry red. With the or I don't know if they're matte black or or they're shiny black, but the black rims tires, that's the car for them. I mean, it's it's a nice sporty little car. It is lower to the ground than our Corolla. Yeah. But it's nicer. Comfortable. Drive rides nice. Drives nice. Yeah. But I was like, what what about us in the spot? I mean, maybe it was predetermined. It's fine. But, also, if you had choices. Really?
This this this bright red Honda Civic? Well, you know what? Okay. Okay. You know, next door. She's I believe she's older than me. Oh, yeah. She looks it. I mean And she drives a Civic. Yeah. But it don't look like that. No. It doesn't. This thing's on the outside, like, the the detailing is black, and everything else is red. Like, it's a sporty Civic. Yeah. It is. It is. It's a like, I could see the 19 year old driving this thing. Yeah. Yeah. I could see a 22 year old driving this thing. Mhmm.
I could see somebody who wishes they were still 22 driving this thing. Watching poor JB have to basically roll out of the fucking thing because it's so much it's lower to the ground even than the Corolla. Yeah. It's moments like that. I miss the RAV. Look. And I I know I'm a snob about this. I'm not a fan of minivans. Nope. Nothing about it has ever appealed to me. I was fortunate to have indoor cats for children.
The biggest thing I ever had to haul for anybody was a musical instrument and I never had to do it at the same time. No interest in or love for minivans. And that was my fear that they would hand us keys to a minivan again because we've had to rent a minivan before. Yeah. And I hate to say, as cute and sporty I love a sporty car. As cute and sporty as Civic is I kinda wishing they looked at us and went, these people need a minivan. Or at least an SUV.
So But yeah. I mean, maybe maybe I mean, there was never a discernible expression of emotion on this person's face, the counter. I would tell you he looked bored Yeah. At 09:00 in the morning already at the budget. I mean, that's it's gonna be a long day if you're already bored. So I don't know. But I just there's a part of me that's tickled that he probably looked at us and went, these people need some fun in their lives, clearly. Right. They look old and boring. Here is a bright red car.
That's very sporty. Oh, boy. I mean, we we know how to have fun. We just don't do it in front of y'all. I mean, I'll take looking like a boring old lady from my fuckery behind closed doors. I don't need a red sporty Honda Civic to excite me. Silent. No. It it does not have a hilariously oversized spoiler. Thank god. Yeah. Yeah. If I could've handled that. Yep. Don't think I could and, yeah, we are oh my god. We I got the keys to the Civic, and
they were like, okay. We have to go to the post office, and we have to go to the pharmacy. Yeah. Yeah. That's why why we needed our sporty little Honda Civic. Mhmm. But Anyhoo. Anyway, so it's as always, been a hot mess. Mhmm. We are in good humor about it all. Yeah. I will I need to sell a kidney to get us through medical procedures and car issues? Maybe. Maybe. I mean, there are I don't yeah. I was very happy to have my partial hysterectomy and then one, never have a period again.
And then two, never have to worry about having accidentally having children again. But there are times I wish I was younger and had, like, a working uterus. So I could I'll be like, how much you pay me to be a surrogate? I can use the cash. I don't. I wouldn't. I really wouldn't. I hated being pregnant. I was I was not a pretty or cute or happy pregnant person. I was I didn't have hard pregnancies. I had pretty easy pregnancies, but I I hated everything except when I would get kicked when
they were big enough. But then I had midnight soccer players apparently because that's what so I hated being pregnant. But sometimes I'm like, you know, that whole surrogacy thing for $10.20 grand. I mean, if I had functioning parts and my eggs were not geriatric, a bitch could be convinced. So anyway. Anyhoo. So here we are. Yep. So, we probably should let these folks go about their day, evening, morning, whatever. Yes. Mhmm. What will we be doing? Crashing and trying
to take a nap before we Yeah. Go to the performance tonight. Mhmm. That's fine. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I guess we can be done. We can. Mhmm. Okay. Thanks for listening. Thanks for being here with us. Especially to the bitter end. Mhmm. Okay. Alright. Bye. Bye.