You're listening to the Loving BDSM podcast episode 418. Kayla Lords here with the one, the only, the guy who had a coffee orgasm right before we started recording, John Brownstone. Yeah. And it was delightful. I mean, it's not y'all, it's not his first cup of coffee of the day. Okay? Yeah. It is I mean It just it just hit me the right way. Alright? You know? It it just Yeah. Yeah. It was it was an event to watch unfold as well.
Anyway, that's not why we're here today. That is not why we're here today. But, technically, nobody would be surprised that we would be talking about assertive submissives today. I don't know. The topic just came to me. I can't imagine why. That's cool. I'll be on standby. Stop. Welcome to the Loving BDSM podcast. If this is your first time listening, glad to have you. If you're back for another week, welcome back. Loving BDSM is produced every Monday Friday
for your kinky pleasure in education. And show notes are found at lovingbdsm.net. Come back off today and feel free to add the podcast to your favorite podcast app. You can also follow the show on Fetlife at loving BDSM PC on Instagram and technically threads at that handle I will forever fucking hate. Loving d s and the number one. So it's at loving d s one or on youtube@youtube.com/loving BDSM, where you can watch us live stream the podcast every Wednesday. All links are in
the show notes. Big thanks as always to our kinky patrons over on Patreon, including our newest peeps. We are able to keep being weirdos on the Internet because of our kinky community. And we are grateful for every fucking one of you. If you'd like to join our kinky community and get access to extra content and the discord server with a group of super cool, super chill kinksters, you can do that. Just join us at patreon.com/kayla lords. That's patreon.com/kayla lords or use the link in the show
notes. Before we get into the topic, let's do some announcements. One is very simple. We have a livestream Friday night, this Friday, November 15th starting at 9:30 PM EST. It's our monthly livestream. We, will be there. First 30 minutes is whatever chaos we start with. And then at 10 o'clock, the chaos continues, but we also answer kinky questions. It's a BDSM q and a for the rest of the night. So so,
yeah, there's that. Then next announcement, why don't I just get my notes up so I'm not trying to do this by memory? Notes are good. We are sponsoring us because we like to pay the mortgage. So it's actually kind of a blanket statement. We have way too many Etsy shops for 1 couple because we have way too many interests. They are all having sales. From now through the end of the year, the loving BDSM Etsy shop, has our kinky
workbooks, has kinky coloring books. I am hoping this week to get, a couple more out. They've been burning a hole in my brain. I wanna make them. We'll see. But we also have stickers, and we have shirts, and we have mugs, and blah blah blah blah. So that one. My Etsy shop, my bookish Etsy shop called Book Dreams, it's on sale. I got Christmas themed stuff and then I got non Christmas themed stuff. I'm trying to get some winter stuff that's not Christmas,
but there that's all on on sale. Plus I have some clearance that I would really like to get rid of. I won't be remaking it. And so, yeah, some stuff is 50% off. And then JB's, shop where he makes things, out of wood that are not kinky, his vanilla wood shop, that is also on sale. And the sales will change Black Friday. Like, if you're like, okay. I I really I really need to save the most. I'll go ahead and tell you. We're gonna have a Black Friday sale.
The difference, if you're thinking about stuff, on JB's shop, everything he makes is one of a kind. So if it gets sold before you get a chance to buy it and you want it, there's no guarantee it'll come back, and we don't really take custom orders once Black Friday hits. We don't have time. So just keep that in mind if you're looking for gifts and you see something on JB's site, but everything is on sale through the whole through till New Year's Eve, y'all. The whole rest
of the fucking year, everything's on sale. Okay. Links are in the places for anybody who wants it. Feel free to shop around, favorite blah blah blah blah. Okay. Okay. Let's get into the topic. Okay. This one comes straight from me, and I went to JP, and I was like, can we talk about this? He's like, yeah. Sure. Because I don't think I've ever had a topic idea that you weren't like you know, maybe not now or maybe let you think about it, but you've always been
like, yeah. Sure. We could talk about that. I think over the years, there's been 2 topics I shot now. Yeah. And I can't I didn't come to you going, oh, this is what I really wanna talk about. It was more like a what do you think about this? Because even I had doubts. Yep. This was not one of them. So why are we talking about something that for anybody who knows and and enjoys an assertive submissive is not at all surprising or shocking? So I keep Instagramming too close to the sun. Okay?
And some, that that handle I will forever fucking hate. Loving d s, the number 1, at loving d s one. I hate that handle on Instagram. I've started doing reels that are, like, memes and informational reels and just, just playing with stuff. And I did a little jokey joke one that made me smile and referred to assertive submissives with a praise kink. It was hilarious. It's it's fine if you don't think it's funny. I thought it was funny. I was delighted.
And had at least 2 comments where somebody went, oh, you mean brats? And look, the great debate of whether I am a brat or not, it's not really a debate. I know how I identify, but I get where that comes from. The sass versus the brat. But something about brat being automatically associated with assertive, I I just I I did the jocklynch thing, and I was like, I'm annoyed. I I think And it's not because you can't if you're bratty, you're not assertive was just like, no. But it's not the same
thing. Yeah. In in my mind, I think that the 2 are Brad is a little different than being assertive. Right. But then you can be an assertive brat. Of course. You're gonna be assertive as you can be an assertive anything. Right. I am an assertive service sub. I will get shit done, but I have questions, thoughts, and opinions that we have to cover before I can get shit done. All along the way. So
that's why. Right? I I really think for anybody who is a fairly assertive person and submissive or partnered with somebody like that, you're like, oh, this is a is this a thing? Yeah. Kind of. Partly because there is the stereotype that submissives are supposed to be quiet. And you can be quiet and assertive, but, you know, like that meek The demure. Shower. And I, we've already established, I'm not demure. I'm a goblin. I made that real too. Used that sound. It was delightful.
And it's fine for if people are that way and want to be that way and they feel fulfilled in their relationship and they're not necessarily assertive. But I also think that assertive gets a bad rap, especially if you are one of 2 things and definitely both. If you were submissive, for sure. If you are a woman, definitely. And God help you if you're both. Right? Like men get called assertive. Women get called bitches. You know what I mean? Like, you're a leader. I'm bossy. That kind of thing.
So I feel like it's important to talk about. Mhmm. For the people who might not might worry that that somehow makes them incorrect or wrong. Is this miss if it doesn't? But we're gonna talk about it because also people get confused with assertive and other terms. And we'll talk about that. But first, let's talk about what it means. Okay. Thank you, Google. Because assertive is one of those words, I know what I mean when I say it. And most people would probably know my the vibe I was going for,
but that's not actually educational or informational. I thought I'd try words Okay. Instead of vibes. So there's different ways, that this term gets, defined, but here are a few. Direct and honest communication without trying to hurt anyone's feelings. So it's not the direct and honest that takes no care for the listener, but it's the one where you're you're trying to do right by the person you're talking to, but you you've got something to say.
Having or showing a confident and forceful personality. I think I think a spotlight turned on me when I got one. It's very strange. And then this one was, this one came from the dictionary. I can't remember which. Was it Webster Merriam or I can't Oxford? I don't remember. Bold or confident statements and behavior. Now some of those terms are subjective, bold, forceful, but I think we all kinda know what
to do. Yeah. I mean, to me, one of the things I would say about someone who's assertive is that they're they're take they take initiative. That is also a thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which, for anybody who's like, wait, Taking initiative and being specific, they're not complete
opposites. You can do both. I take initiative with JB's blessing, with his permission, with his understanding of what I will take initiative on and what I that's that's not my role, and we will do something different in our power exchange. So, yeah, the when I was trying to before I googled let let Google give me better words. When I was thinking about being assertive, the the things that came to my mind were direct and clear communication.
Because when I feel the most assertive, certainly within our power exchange, and I'm being assertive with JB, mostly, I'm just being direct. I'm saying what I think within the confines of our power exchange, which in our power exchange, the rule is I could say anything I need to say as long as I stay Correct. I I do not get to come in. No. You do not get to come in all guns blazing. Right. Filled with sarcasm. I'm good. The snark is sky high.
Now, does the snark happen? Yes. But when I get snarky, I think I'm being funny. I'm not actually trying to be disrespectful. One person's sass is another person's disrespect. So to be assertive should not actually be a shocking thing in kink because one of the hallmarks of responsible, ethical, healthy kink is direct and clear communication. What that sounds like and looks like varies from person to person.
For me, it started out where I was not assertive in my clear and direct communication at all. I was I was very, like, nervous and shy and insecure, and I wasn't sure what response I was gonna get. And I did better if I wrote it down and then didn't have to look at his face while he learned whatever I was saying in writing. Right? But over time, it's it's way easier to just say what I gotta say. There are times when it's not so much. I that's the
thing. I think some people are assertive most of the time and some people are probably assertive just less. I am not assertive with everybody. I am not assertive in all situations. Sometimes I get into my little subby headspace, and I'm like, the last fucking thing I wanna be is assertive. I was assertive with you 10 minutes ago. I told you what I wanted. I'm done. I'm done. And then I can be the soft, meeker, milder, gentler version of myself. Goblin? Goblin comes out when I'm not naked.
Like, once once, like, we've gotten our fuckery in place and, you know, and usually my softer side comes out. But I'm not assertive in all things at all times either. True. I am more assertive with you, and this is a thing that's kind of been in my mind as I've thought about this topic. It was supposed to be last week's topic, so for 2 weeks I've been thinking about this, is that I am safe to be assertive with you. That that's what I was gonna
say. I I think after all this time, you know me well enough that you feel safe enough to, you know, allow that to show. I will forever be in awe of people who are assertive without needing to feel safe to do it. I'm like, wow. How do you do that? Is it in your DNA? Can you teach me your ways? Because I have to have a level of comfort and confidence in the situation or the person I'm with. Now sometimes I'm
confident enough in myself in the situation. Like, if if somebody wants to come at me sideways and weird because of our power exchange, I can be assertive in that situation because I'm extremely comfortable with who I am as a submissive in our power exchange. It's easy. But, you know, don't look at me funny in the grocery store where there's way too many people and I'm it's already, like, too much sensory input, and I'm already, like, kinda freaked
out because guess what? I am not. I am not assertive in that situation. No. At all. No. So how how would you talk about, think about, describe what me being assertive is like for you? I mean Oh, dear. I do keep it fun. Right? Like, you're on your toes. You know, that that's one thing yeah. It keeps me on my toes, keeps things interesting. You know, it's it's been quite a journey with you. Okay. Okay? Because, you know, let's talk talking about you were talking about the whole safe
thing. I remember early on in our relationship, even when we first moved in together, you at that time, were very quiet, and and you were very demure at that point in our relationship. And as you got to know me Yeah. And and and you got to realize how far you could get with poking the bear Yeah. And that I enjoyed poking the bear. Yes. That I've I've realized it was fun to poke the bear Right. Yeah. To a certain
degree, to a certain limit. Yeah. So, yeah, you've made an art form, I think, out of poking the bear. You're the only one I wanna poke. You're the only one I metaphorically wanna know. Yeah. Physically, I'm I can be convinced. You know, and and I know it it's it's not for everybody, but I couldn't imagine us not being that way at this point. Yeah. I don't I can't imagine what we would be like if we were not this way. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. So, you know, that's that's had it kept it interesting and fun. Well, yeah. Because so sometimes my assertiveness is, I have questions about this thing you want me to do. And I'm I sound concerned and I sound confused, but I'm quick to go, I need I need more than information than what you're giving me. Sometimes my assertiveness is is sassy and is joking, and I'm
poke poking the bear. I'm trying to get a point across without being too serious, or the the sarcasm just gripped me by the throat and I would combust if I didn't let it out in some way. Yes. Yes, Anne. Like, all those things are true. And then, truly, there are times that I'm just not it's not that I'm not assertive. I think it's that I've been assertive enough in the past that I don't have to remind you of who I am or what I want. Oh, yeah.
You, you know, there's no need. And that is a nice feeling because then I feel like I can soften a little bit. Well I can just, like, follow your lead and there's there's no need for conversation. I'm I'm I'm gonna point out a funny thing that happened just this morning. Mhmm. So, you know, I I got up this morning and I I had some things that I wanted to do this morning before we did all all this. You know, and I'm trying to map it all out in my head,
how I wanna do all these things. Some of it was was for home, some of it was for work, some of it was personal. You know, it was a a whole mishmash of of things. And and I'm trying to to, you know, coordinate what I'm going to do this morning and and how much of it can I get done? And this one goes, what are your plans for tomorrow? What what what are you gonna do tomorrow? I have no clue yet. What do you mean you don't know yet? Well, I I I need to know these things. I I
need to know. I I I gotta be able to plan my own life. Right. Right. And I'm like, as soon as I know Which here's I will tell you. Here's what he's gonna know. He's gonna know at 8:15 tomorrow, and I will have already mentally mapped out my day. And then what he needs from me will throw off my planned schedule, and then I will be quietly in my head a total fucking bitch.
It's what kinda happened the other day when I thought this is how my day was gonna go, and you came in and went, actually, what we're doing is not only was I assertive, but I would not have come across as submissive to any fucking body. Not even JB. Yeah. And and I you know, there there is a line to being assertive and and submissive at the same time where, you know, I'm going to let you know what I think. I'm going
to ask my question. I'm going to tell you what I want, and then I'm going to step back and you decide. Now it helps in our power exchange that I always have space to let you know what I think, and we've talked about this in the past in other episodes. I can submit to JB because I know he will listen to me. I will get the opportunity to share my thoughts, share my experiences, share what I think, you know, give advice, say here's what I would do, whatever, whatever.
And then he'll take that information in, in, and he may still make a completely different decision than the one I'm advocating for, but I know I was heard. Right? I know that he respected me enough and that he wanted to hear my opinion on something. As long as I have that with a person I trust, who our values align, the way we kind of look at life's aligns enough, then it's easy to to kinda sit back and go, okay. Now it's on you, and I will follow whatever you want.
And I think that's where some people get very confused, you know, about us saying thinking or feeling that maybe a submissive should not be too assertive. It's like, no. No. No. No. No. I tell you what I think. I let you know what I want. And then And there's nothing wrong with that. Not at all. How do you even set limits and boundaries if you're not communicating what you think and what you want? Right. But the submission comes into, I've said my piece. You know where where
I stand. I will follow what you decide. You decide and I'm there and I'm supportive. Sometimes I don't want to be assertive. Sometimes I'm tired y'all, and I just don't have it in me. And you'll ask a question expecting a direct answer. Here's what I think. And I'm like, nope. Don't have it in me. Whatever you wanna do, I'm down for. And I'm being assertive in the even in the don't ask me anything kind of thing.
But then there are times, we've done this a couple times recently, And I it struck me because we don't get to I don't feel this way often enough. We were grocery shopping. We were at Sam's Club. Crazy busy parking lot. I am already overwhelmed that we haven't walked in the building yet. And we needed to get across, and JB's head on a swivel got the cart. I'm like, he's down. He's ready. And I and this little voice in my head went, you don't even have to look
up. If you just stay in his shadow and follow him, he will get you where you need to be. And no thoughts, just vibes. Like, you just just don't even worry about and that's just kind of what I did until we were actually in the process of the boring grocery shopping and making decisions. But in that moment when I felt overwhelmed, I didn't feel the need to take control of the situation in order to make myself feel less overwhelmed.
That was a time when I could give up all control literally of even cross, like, how I cross the street because I knew I could trust you. I knew I could follow you. I knew you would take care of me. And that's in a very small, like, everyday sort of way. And I don't kinda get to feel that way about things very often because a lot of the things in our personal life and our professional life that we are dealing with and have been dealing with requires input from both of us. Right?
Requires both of us to show up and go, here's what the hell I think, and here's what I think we should do, and what do you wanna do and all that. And so I guess it's just more noticeable to me in the small moments when I'm just like, I'm just a little baby girl following her daddy doll. I don't have to think about nothing. And in that moment, it is fucking delightful, and I'm here for it. I'm here for it. But I the way I personally am wired, I could not spend all my time in that headspace,
in that in that place. Because I I got thoughts and feelings about shit, and I want to be able to express them. And I want to be able to express them to the person who is my partner in all aspects of life. Right? Like, I don't wanna just fucking journal them. I don't wanna just fucking blog them. I wanna look the person I love the most in the eyeballs and go, let me tell you, I kinda thought you were a little bit of an asshole back there.
She said respectfully. See, I I do sometimes wonder if JB, questions his life choices, because he said you can say literally anything as long as you're respectful. I'm like, let me show you how to get cussed out respectfully. Very rarely. I'll very I actually the times I need to be assertive because JB has oopsied somewhere in our relationship, I'm near tears having to
go tell him that I think, hey. Something went off the rails here because I I don't I know JB cannot be put up on a pedestal because the only way to go from there is down. And we've we had that experience early on living together. We had that experience. I know. And then and then it happened, and I was like, oh my god. Is like, the earth has tilted off its axis.
What is happening? So I know better than to do that, but to feel it's important to me, to our relationship, to in a calm, quiet moment to go, I think you were wrong and it really pissed me off. I might not say pissed off. I might. It's all about the vibes, You know? And and I think you did this thing wrong. I don't wanna ever have to tell JB I think he's wrong or that I it's not even I think he's wrong. I know damn well he's fucking wrong, and we've gotta
now deal with it. Like, here's where you fucked up, she said respectfully. Here's what I think about it. Here's how it made me feel. I don't I I I want my daddy dom to always be right in all things. That is what I want. That is not how life works. Right? You are being right or wrong can be subjective about certain things when there's no single right way to accomplish a task. Right?
And so you get to be right most of the time because you make the decision, and then I follow your lead and we get to the outcome we were trying to. Or we go, oh, I couldn't expect this outcome, but none of our solutions would have you know, whatever. But sometimes you're just fucking wrong about something. And if if I can't tell him and have that dialogue and get that off my chest and have that and work through it Mhmm. Then I who the fuck can I talk to, 1? And 2, that just turns to resentment.
Yeah. It just turns to resentment. Or it turns in in my experience, it turns inward, and now I'm just questioning myself. I don't even trust myself because I had a thought. I had a feeling, and I didn't talk about it with JB. I didn't work through it. He did not apologize if that is what was necessary. He did not change your behavior if that was what was necessary. And and I have seen this happen to some people who are submissive in a power exchange where instead of going, hey.
The dumb was kind of the asshole there. They turn inward. I've done this. Turn inward and go, what is wrong with me that I feel this way? And so it's not even resentment that sometimes builds up. It can be, you know, it can be a self esteem killer in a heartbeat. You question yourself. You don't trust yourself. Whereas if I can say what I need to say, if JB thinks I'm wrong and he can back up his claims that I'm wrong, and I'm willing to listen to him, I'm willing I don't
wanna be told him wrong. I hate being told him wrong, but I trust him so he can tell me I'm wrong, and then I can rethink my view on something. But that only happens because there's clear and direct and very honest communication between both of us. Why am I sweating talking about this topic? It's a hot topic. It's a hot topic. Have there been times when you wished I was not as assertive as I am? On occasion, yes. What are those times like? Like, when what
kind of situation are we talking about? How does it make you feel? All all the things. More than anything, I think when it happens, it it is a, for me, a matter of a feeling of frustration. Mhmm. Like, what kind of frustration? You know, for example, I love you. Okay? I unequivocally, I love you. But there there there are times I will come to you and I will ask you a question, and I'll be like, I just need a yes or no. I just need a quick yes or no. I I I just need
a no. And and you nope. You've given me the whole story. The whole story. I'm sorry. My brain hurts. 2 hours later, I'm still there waiting for a yes or no. That's not true. Here's the thing. I think it sucks for you that you were the safest person I have to communicate with. I was thinking about this earlier today, and this is not about being assertive. This is just about my own sort of personal journey and figuring out who the hell am I actually. And in the
I believe I'm neurospicy. I just don't know what flavor. And so masking in the way that is used typically for neurodivergent people, I I'm positive. I've been doing that my whole life. I just look back on my whole life and I go, oh, oh. What happened though was not only did I start working from home where I didn't need to mask, you are my safe person. Yeah. You're the last person I'm gonna mask around. So you remember me with the mask, and now you know me without the mask. Yeah.
Me with the mask would tear myself internally into pieces to give you exactly what you asked for. You wanted a yes or no question. I don't know how to do it, and quite frankly, I think my head's gonna explode, but here, because I'm gonna make you happy. This is whatever. And that's outside of power change, make him happy. Like, that's just my interactions with people. Give people exactly what they want even if that's not good for me. Now I'm unmasked, I guess, is the right way to
say it. And you sometimes ask for something that requires a level of self control that I don't always have. Sometimes I do, and sometimes I do not. Because typically when you want a yes or no answer Mhmm. It's on something that is, subjective. It is complex. There is nuance. There is no one for nuance. But sometimes But sometimes you want yes or no, and I'm actually I'm over here going, actually, there's a third option you haven't thought about called
maybe. Right? Or you want a yes or no, answer on this question, but that's not actually the question you should be asking. And guess what? I will, like, word vomit all the fuck over you because you will listen to me. Mhmm. And so I know I can't. And I'm not saying that's a a a trait I should be proud of. You gotta have you gotta learn how to, you know, communicate the way people need you to communicate if they are worth taking the time and effort to do that.
But, yes, I have seen the frustration. Now now see, here's something that I've been noodling Okay. Okay, on this particular topic. K? So if I come to you, and I have a question, and I tell you I want I I just need a yes or no. Mhmm. Just need a yes or no. By you giving me a yes or no without any other any any other filler, you're doing me an act of service.
Okay. But I'm gonna need to know, in the negotiation of this act of service, when will I get to say all of the things I need to say about that topic? And when you come and ask me for a yes or no Mhmm. And you want a one word answer, am I allowed to say okay. It's 2 words. It depends. And then and then at some point in the near future, while I can still even remember the fucking topic and my own thoughts about it, can I then tell you all the things I was thinking?
I I have my whole fucking life been a person who's like, if I don't say the thoughts I'm thinking right now, they're gone and I'll never get to say them again. That does not make me a good conversationalist, which is why in conversation, like, back and forth, like, in groups, I just don't say fucking anything because I know I suck. But I if I know the opportunity is there later after you get what you're asking for Mhmm. That is easier to give you what you're asking for.
Does that make sense? Like, could you, in those moments we're just negotiating now. Here's what we're this active service. This is the negotiation. This is the thing I'm asking for. You come to me and say, I just need a yes or no answer. Right. What I am asking for are 2 things, for it to be okay for the answer to be it depends or maybe because it really is too complex for yes or no. And a time later, not too far later because the thoughts will just vanish. Mhmm. I can tell you
all the things I was was thinking. Unless you ask right then, because then if you say, what do you mean it depends? I feel like you've done it to yourself at that point. But if if you're like, okay. That's information. I'll come back and we'll talk about it later. Can we do it that way? Yeah. I think so. Okay. I will do my best and because I will forget this conversation ever fucking took place. At least No. It's it's on right now. No. No. No. I'm not saying it's not.
I'm gonna pretend it didn't take place. I mean, the memory of it will be gone. The, reminder is we negotiated this, and then it'll trigger the memory and I'll I'll have it. Okay. Look. I got filing cabinets in my brain, and some of them are crusty dusty. And if you don't say the right word, I can't open it. I can't find that memory. Mhmm. Mhmm. So, yeah, if you just remind me we negotiated this, then that'll be the memory trigger until I get used to
it. Yeah. Because it's really very rare you come to me and tell me I just need a simple answer. Most of the time, if you're coming to me to ask me a question, you maybe you just mentally prepare yourself for it. You just know there's gonna be a conversation. To have a full cup of coffee? I do. You know, I'm not completely oblivious. I do try to pay attention to timing. I know. You know? I know. Well, I mean, for for several
years, we had the signal. Signal. We stopped using it, and then I used it the other day and you picked it up like it was nothing. I would say, is your green light on? Which means he's focused enough on me. He can hear my voice and he's taking in the information. Quite frankly, the way you know the green light is not on is if you go, is your green light on and you get no answers? Nope. Green it's red. It's definitely not on. It's not on.
He doesn't even know I'm in the room breathing with them at that point. So I separated these this out into 2 separate things, but I think we can talk about it kind of together. And we kinda talked about 1 already. It's where the idea of being assertive gets a bad rap. One is the one that annoyed me, so I had to make we had to do this topic, that being assertive is not the same as being bratty. Those are 2 separate things that, yes, somebody can be both.
Mhmm. But the other one is that being assertive is not being demanding. Oh, that you don't. Demanding is a whole thing on itself. And it can sound and look a little bit like being assertive. Yeah. But I think I think I I think the difference between the 2 can be summed up in, you know, if you're demand if someone's demanding, they're like, I want this right now. Mhmm. I don't wanna wait. Get this to me.
Right. And and assertive would be, okay, here's what we're looking at, and moving forward we need to take these steps to get this done. Right. You talk like a dom. It's I love it. I'm gonna do it from a submissive perspective. Okay. Assertive is, this is the thing I would like. This is the thing I feel like I need. And then asking the direct question, is this something you can provide? Demanding is what a lot of, air quotes, missives do typically in FetLife DMs.
Here are the list of things that I will do and you can do to me and I want you to do to me. We I don't even know your name. We haven't had a conversation. And this isn't a question of would you be willing, can you, will you, do you fucking want to? Like, there is an assumption that I will proclaim these things, and then you, oh kink dispenser, will just provide. That's a form Put in your coin drop your coins and pull the knob. Right. That would be, for me, demanding. Mhmm. And, again,
because let's let's be real. We're I'm using brat because it gets such a fucking bad rap. You could be a demanding brat, which I think is like bratty squared. Like, it's just bratty times bratty. And I I think quite frankly for many brats, it would sort of take some of the fun out of it. Like, if I I'm not a brat, but I man, I'll play on that line. Like, I'll walk that edge. Mostly, I want to be the good girl who does what she's told. I just I just think I'm funny.
I could pretend to be demanding for the reaction I'm gonna get if I think the reaction is gonna be the reaction I want. But I have learned the lesson that for all that JB is a daddy dom, he's also a sadistic motherfucker, literally. And, he he knows the greatest punishment is to not at all give me what I want and to give me fucking nothing and to make sure I know why I'm not getting anything. So guess what? Demanding gets me no fucking wear. But that's what I
was talking about earlier. Like, for me to be assertive, I'm gonna let you know what I want or what I'd like or what I wish for or what I need or whatever whatever. Right. And then I'm gonna step back and go, but it's your decision and then whatever you decide, I'm going to abide by it. Mhmm. Because whatever he's gonna decide is gonna be within my boundaries and limits, y'all.
The thing that makes that easier, and it's a trust thing, and it took time to get there, not that long, but it did take time, is that I know, and I have learned the hard way, because I didn't say I wasn't pushy sometimes. I think that's the the the in the, oh god, spectrum from assertive to demanding. Pushy is in there a little bit. It's it's closer to demanding, but it's
anyway Not not all the way there. What I know will happen from experience is that I will not get the thing I asked for exactly the way I asked for it. I will not get it exactly when I asked for it. It will be JB's version of the thing I wanted. And that for me is part of submission. It's saying, I really want this thing, and I know through our conversations and our negotiation that you will provide this. Right? It's why we work. Right? But and it's both the fun thing and kind of the scary thing.
You will do it your way on your time Mhmm. You know, as the dom. I will not dictate any of that. That's true. And so what that means is that I've learned years ago, learned the lessons the hard way that what you then don't do is go, but when? But when, daddy? But when? Because then the answer is for never. It's fucking never now. I will make you wait longer. What I understand I understood later about myself that I didn't understand at the time. It
was a trust thing. I didn't know if I would get it, so I worried I would not get it. And when I finally, like, I don't know, light bulb moment kinda thing, and I realized, wait. If I just tell him and then step back, it's gonna be good. It's not gonna be what I envisioned, but it's gonna be good. And then that's when I developed the dreaded p word, patience, but I I developed patience through fuckery because you forced me to. Because you forced me to. Pretty much, yeah. I did.
Mhmm. But you agreed to it. Yeah. Because you you didn't say no. Right. You know, this is so yeah. Yeah. I mean, but part of it's because it's for us, in in the way we kind of navigate our different roles and head spaces and the things we like, the submissive in me wants to be taken care of and follow the lead of my dom. Right? So whatever he's decided within the scope of what I'm okay with, I just wanna do it. Baby girl in me has some shit to say, and I think I'm hilarious.
And I wanna laugh, and I wanna be goofy and silly. Right? The masochist is like, okay. I'm gonna need you to make me suffer for this. And, you know, I talk about those things like they're 3 distinct parts of who I am, but they there's all this overlap. Some days, I'm more of a baby girl Some days I'm more of a masochistic baby girl. Like, some You spin the wheel and take the camps. Right. May the odds be ever in your favor of who I am on any given day.
But what that ends up meaning is that by asserting what I I need and want and then stepping back and just letting it happen when it happens, if he's feeling his sadistic self, he's gonna make me wait a long time or he's going to interpret my words the way it's like the genie when you're asking the question and they find the loophole. If I say, daddy, I really need a spanking. Like, I I just I really needed this. It's been a hot minute. But I don't then say I needed to feel like a deep tissue
massage. Oh, I'll get the spanking. She will. I absolutely will. Might not be that dead, but I will get it. But if I do not specify and try to close all the loopholes I can think of, it will be with the stingiest fucking toy that he knows that I don't love. And when I'm like, daddy, no. Why? This hurts. He's like, you asked for it. I'm just providing what you asked for. I'm providing my service. But but when I'm in my masochistic feels, I'm complaining, but I'm fucking loving it. Right? And so
yeah. I mean, thankfully, we're compatible clearly, but we are not identical. Right? Like Right. So I might be in a masochist baby girl headspace, and you might be in the, I'm kind of the serious, stern dom right now, and I don't really, like, have patience for the baby girl stuff. What I have found most of the time is that we can shift for each other.
Mhmm. Like, if you see me being playful but basically egging you on to make it hurt more, and you know even if you didn't walk in in that mindset, if you're down for it, if you're if you're into it Mhmm. You'll shift a little bit. Yeah. There there there are times it can definitely shift the mindset, and then there are times I just Just can't. No matter what. And then my job is either to shift or we have to go, okay. Maybe this is the habit of play today.
Not the time for this. And, you know, I don't know what that has to do with being assertive, but we I got well, I think I got off on a little tangent there. Whatever. It was fun. Okay. Other than the not being able to just give you a clear answer when you ask for a yes or no, is there anything about me being assertive that surprises you that you had to adjust to? After all, after the time we've we've been together, there's nothing about it that surprises me
anymore. Oh, good. Good. I don't think I have any more tricks at my sleeve. I I hope not. I hope not too. Not sure I can handle any new tricks right now. No. But, you know, yeah, you I and, you know, the funny thing is is that now, at this point, I I couldn't see you any other way. Mhmm. Thank god because I don't think I could be any other way. If I so like I said before, I am not assertive in all things all the time everywhere. Like, that's not that's not.
But I am assertive more often than I am not. And so if I stopped being assertive, you would you would take note. I think here's my belief. I think for about 5 minutes, he'd go, oh, this is nice, and he he would enjoy it. And then there would come a point where he's like, no. Fuck. I was expecting her to speak up here. Something's not right. Then you'd come What what is this trembling in the force? Right. What is happening here?
Thankfully, I feel safe enough, and I and our trust levels are good, and our communication is good, and I am assertive enough to actually be able to say, I I can't I can't do this. I don't have it in me, whatever it might be. Right? Like, you wanna talk about something, you need my opinion. We wanna renegotiate something. We want something where under different circumstances, I would be very assertive.
Robert pointed out in the live chat something we said at the kind of alluded to at the very top. And the it's why assertive can be by some people deemed a problem for submissives. What you typically hear is you're not a real submissive. That's the thing. It's very rare that, I I have it directed at me, but it happens often enough that I I I know I I hear it. It's I read the comment. Whatever, whatever. Not all the time, not by everybody, but enough. Where I have strong opinions.
I am confident in my ability to speak here. JB leads nearly all of our life, but this podcast, I lead it. Mhmm. That that's her. Right. And it that really throws people off when they don't when they don't know. And part of it's because I'm submissive. And like I said before, part of it's because I'm a woman. And this idea that a woman can be assertive, it really fucks with people. Some people just can't fucking handle it. That really I think that really sucks for you that you can't handle it.
I don't don't have any statements to make about that part. For submissives though, I wanna I set it at the top, and I'm gonna say it again because I do mean it even if I cannot fathom it for myself. If you do not want to be assertive in your submission, it's not your vibe, it's not your personality type. The way that you have structured your power exchange as answering if asked, but not necessarily offering opinions or, you know, finding less loud ways to be assertive than I am.
I am I'm very, very loud and proud of my assertiveness. That is fine because it's none of my fucking business what you do in your relationship. My whole thing for anybody is, are you happy? Are you content? Are your needs getting fulfilled? Does this feel good for you? Is this where you wanna be? Right? But and so if that's what you want, plea please do that. But I worry for and I think about the submissives who are being told that they're wrong or think that they're wrong.
Because how dare a submissive have an opinion? Here's the thing. If you are let's put air quotes around it, air quote, Dom, who is threatened by, dislikes, turned off by, or tries to shut down the assertiveness of a submissive, my question is, what are you insecure about? You can, within the confines of a power exchange that the partner agrees to, you can dictate how that looks, what that sounds like. JB, it wouldn't work because I am who I am, but JB could go, look, look,
look. Say what you need to say, but this tone bothers me. This doesn't work for me this way. Let's do it at this time. Like, with my you know, if I was willing and that worked, we could negotiate how that stuff. Right? You that's power exchange. But that it is done? No. No. No. Especially if your response to a submissive of any gender who is assertive is to tell them that they're wrong, you have just said a whole lot about yourself, and nothing about that is submissive. Now I
also think that language is important. Do you think that they're assertive, or do you think they're demanding? Because demanding, I mean, it's weird. It's a personal thing. If you yourself are like, I am a demanding person. Okay. Well, you're gonna have to find somebody who accepts the demanding style. Right? And I I think that's gonna be few and far between. And that's any side of the slash, any flavor of relationship. Most people don't want to have demands made upon them. They want
collaboration. They want agreement. They want negotiation. They want to feel heard. They want right? In kink, nobody wants to be a kink dispenser unless you have negotiated that scene and have a good time. But in general, over the course of a relationship, nobody wants to be a kink dispenser. It doesn't feel good after a while. So yeah. Think about and then and then god damn it. Stop thinking that assertive and bratty
hand in hand. Assertive brats? Yes. Mhmm. But I have come across some some subtle demure brats who get get the bratting done, but they have their their way that they do it. In a subtle way. Yeah. I couldn't be me. Okay? Could not fucking be me. Not at all. Not at all. Yeah. And the other thing is I would tell doms especially, you want an assertive sub to a to a degree. Right? You want somebody who can be clear and direct with you in their communication that can be confident with you.
If a person is confident away from you, but when they get with you, they don't they're not be portraying any confidence, that's to me, that's a problem. You can be confident and you can be let's use the word demure. Like, I think in the way it's actually intended and not the way the Internet used it. You can be that softer, less assertive, quieter, part of yourself, and you can do that with full confidence.
But if what bothers the person is that you're confident or they're not doing anything to build confidence in their submissive, that's the problem. Like, that's like, not everybody's bold. I'm not bold most of the time. I'm bold here because this is my fucking space, and it's probably where I'm the most comfortable, other than when it's just me and JB. Then I'm so comfortable, he wishes I would get a little tense, quite frankly. He wishes I would be less comfortable. But, you know,
it's specific again to trust and safety. Right? Where can I be my freest self? And in it doesn't have to be romantic or sexual, but in a long term power exchange, if that's not a space where either side of the slash can be their most fucking comfortable, what are we doing here? Mhmm. What is going on? Where is the depth of trust being built between both of you? Right? So that you can kind of go, hey. This is maybe a side of me
that nobody would really get to see. And I don't just mean the dom and the sub part. Like, not even just the play, just the, here, I'm gonna tell you what I want. I'm gonna tell you what I need. I'm probably gonna tell you shit I've never fucking told anybody. I wouldn't even put it down in a journal just in case in 500 years somebody found it. Right? Like, that's
that's where confidence can grow. And it could be that it's just in those moments of let's negotiate this thing, let's work out the scene we're gonna do, let's talk about our relationship, that that's when a submissive is assertive. And then once they have asserted themselves, that part quiets down a little bit. But they could that's they're still assertive. Did they make their needs and wants known clearly and directly? Could they be were they confident enough to fully be themselves with you?
I mean, if we're going by the Internet's definition of assertive, I I think there's something there. And that's not about how much you talk, how loud you are, how crazy you are, like Kayla Lords happens to be sometimes when she's really, like, in it. You know? There's all these versions of what that means. True. But True. True. True. I made myself hot and sweaty. You you were on a roll there. Yeah. Do you have any you're like, no. No. Good. I'm
good. So, yes, how whatever assertive looks like for you, if you're being clear and direct, you're confident in who you are, you know, you have you feel safe enough. You have the trust of maybe a partner or a space where you could Mhmm. It there's nothing wrong with being assertive. And quite frankly, to some degree, at least in the negotiation stage of stuff, in power exchange, citizens need to be assertive. You you don't get what you want if you
can't say what you want. And, man, how many times have we talked about that since literally 2015? Okay. And asserting what you want is not the same as making demands of or telling your dom what they are supposed to do to you in the way that they are supposed to do. It's it's whim it's not it's not that. It's not that. That's a whole other thing. So if you happen to be a person who's like, ugh, assertive subs, I'm a need you to do some introspection. That's that's you. That's that's not us.
And if you've ever thought or been told that you were somehow wrong as a because you have strong opinions, fuck that person. Okay? You're not. You're not. You're not. And, also, if you're not an assertive person, but you are happy with where you're at, you trust the person you're with, it's a fulfilling relationship, that's that is o that is okay too. There is I say this about all kinds
of things all the time. There are as many ways to submit and be submissive as there are submissives in the world. The thing you gotta figure out is what makes you feel good, what builds your confidence, what makes you feel fulfilled and content. Yep. That's the thing. Mhmm. Yeah. So now that I am sweaty, I'm sure my face is redder than usual. That's all I got to say for now. Podcast listeners, the hand went on my hip. I don't know. I don't know. I I guess I'm feeling myself better.
Very assertive mannerism there. You know? I'm glad we did not turn. Every time I say assertive, take a take a shot because we would all have alcohol poisoning. But, yeah, talking about it, thinking about it makes me feel it more. Mhmm. But, you know, it also I get to sort of cherish more and be more aware of the moments when I I don't feel the need to be that way. Mhmm. When there's nothing for me to say or I can tell you
something, but I could tell you later. And I just I want to to be following you like a little duckling, and that makes me happy. Well, okay. So so that that's all. That's all? For now. Okay. Till next time. Right. Mhmm. So, are we good? Yes. Hold on. 1, we'll go into a bonus section. 2, don't forget all of our Etsy shops because we have more interest than we have time. They're all on sale. Go forth, link in places. Okay. Yes. Now I'm ready.
K. You ready? Sure. Okay. Keep it kinky y'all, and we'll see you next week. Daddy. Yes, baby girl. Can we talk to the crickets? No. You've been doing a lot of talking. I know. I'd like you to do some talking, but I still, am required. Okay. Then I guess it's okay. Okay. Good. I do want to point out to you. Mhmm. It's now, I think, gonna be an Easter egg in the lore of our podcast. I think it's the last podcast we did on dominance and communication. Mhmm. And maybe the one before that?
It's one of those 2. I did not ask for permission. You did not catch it. We just started fucking talking. Yeah. Yeah. So there's an Easter egg for anybody. Mhmm. Oh my god. No. So bonus section. Bonus. Yes. You talk about you because Yeah. You went through it last week. Mhmm. Yeah. Last week was not, not fun for me. You know, talked about my my wonderful back before and, now it seems the little twist has been thrown in there.
In addition to the, bad discs that I have, now doctor tells me I have arthritis Yeah. Up my spine and totally different pain from the pain of the, discs. Yeah. I think you were feeling the kind of pain I feel in my neck when then I have to go to the doctor and be like Yeah. Please let me have the steroid pack. Yep. So, yeah. That's, what they did. Steroid pack and it brought the inflammation down and I'm, functioning again, but this isn't going to be the last time. Probably not.
No. I mean, just from my personal experience, no. Once once the neck starts doing whatever that is, it just what my favorite part in all of this, and you kind of said it when you were describing what it felt like, and then the doctor who is not our normal doctor, but who we could get in with the fastest Yeah. Was like, oh, yes. Very tense. And I just looked at JB and went, gee. I can't imagine what in your life you have
to be tense about. Right. Yeah. And and she did suggest, you know, you might wanna look into getting a massage And it may help a little bit. And it probably would. And Yeah. I I have thoughts about that where you can Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, that my doctor, the last time I went, it's been several months ago when I got real bad, that was the thing she said. She was like, you she was like, not not those, like, fancy dancy you need, like, the the massage that hurts.
I was like, yeah. I probably do. Yeah. But, so, yeah, that's, that's kinda what, where where I'm at. And, you know, it's like, yay. New level unlocked. You know? What I've noticed in the past few years is the the your back and the pain is like a little bit of an elevator. We started at the lower back. Mhmm. We went to the middle of your back. Now we're already up to your your your neck. Yeah.
Yeah. Fun times. And doctor did tell me, he said, you know, once you start having problems, it kinda with the back, it just kinda cascades. Yep. So yep. There I am. And I'm glad you're feeling better. You know? Yeah. I'm I am too. It was, not not a a a fun herding. The thing I I was very impressed with you that you did this because when you get let your when you get stressed about what you need to be doing, you you push too hard. Mhmm. So it got so bad, you couldn't function.
So he Right. He sat still long enough for us to get to the doctor, get the steroids, blah blah blah. And then in, like, 48 hours after starting to take the medication, he started to feel better. And normally, JB would be tempted to just go get some shit done. And he looked at me and went, I think I'm just gonna sit down this weekend. And I went, I think that's a good idea. Rest up completely. Yeah. So that that's what we that's what we did. Lola is,
good. Mhmm. She is snoring on her cot right now. She has a mystery limp that comes and goes. Yeah. And I I don't want to hope I say this word right. Anthropomorphize our dog. I don't even know if that's quite the right there's a word where you you give people I mean, you give animals, like, human characteristics. But I did have the thought of, is this a sympathy thing? And I I kinda wondered that too a little bit. Because you we could touch all around it. We could move it. She was
not, like, flinching or anything. Mm-mm. She was getting active zoomies and just tearing around. Oh, yeah. If you have never seen a pity, get zoomies. It's a sight to behold. It's a next level experience. Like, I've seen all kinds of dogs getting zoomies, but there's this oh, and because I think it's because they're they're just so fucking big and compact. Think of, think of, like, a, a charging rhino. Yeah. But we saw you got her to chase you around the house. Like, there's all these
times, and there was nothing. But I noticed it primarily when it was about food. Feeding time, she thought she heard a bag, thought that was her treat bag, whatever. Then there'd be this little this little hop skip limp. Yeah. It's like, are you are you trying to get sympathy? Mhmm. So that we'll give you more food? Like, what is Right. Here. Well, you know, and and it's funny you say that because there, you know, there was a lot of in early on with her, when it was dinner
time, you know, she would sit. Right? She would sit, you know, and because of her one leg that was shot, it's shorter than the other. Now, normally, when she sits, she's got both front paws on on the on the ground. But when it's dinner time The one paw. That little she's got and that little paw comes up. She can't she can't bear to hold it down anymore. It's like, Lisa, might I have some more? Like, okay. We're in a Dickens nominally. Okay. So,
you know yeah. And, you know, it it's it's funny because I I noticed that the limp comes on sometimes in the evening. Mhmm. And once I give her her bedtime biscuit She's She's good. She's fine. She's fine. She jumps on the couch in one leap. She, you know And that's the thing. She'll go from limp that back leg is limping a little bit to full on
jumping on the couch. So we're we're watching it if, you know, if it looks to become consistent or if reacts when we touch that leg or whatever whatever, we will get her to the vet. That's Yeah. You know, we'll just do it. But Right. It it was weird because so Lola and JB are soulmates. Okay?
He loves me, but he loves Lola. So JB goes through this thing that I see a lot on the Internet people talking about where he starts contemplating a future where the worst has happened to Lola and will get himself really upset. Lola has like an eye twitch. He's like, is she okay? The amount of times he's, I mean, yelled, called me to come running into another room. Me, who already has a lot of anxiety and it it does not take a lot to send me into flight or freeze mode.
And he'll be like, look at her eye. Does her eye and sometimes it's a legit thing. And sometimes I'm like, no. That's just what that part of her looks like. Hey. It's adorable. It is adorable. Lola cannot speak. I am her advocate. You are her advocate. Okay. I advocate for her. You are obsessed with your dog, and I think that's delightful.
Okay? You don't obsess over your dog to the detriment of all else, but it does mean, obsess over your dog to the detriment of all else, but it does mean you are both on high alert for legit things, and let's go to the vet, and let's deal with stuff. But also, especially when you, I think, when you
start thinking of her age Yeah. You start seeing stuff and I'm like, I and and so the Well I'm in this weird position of I do not want to, disregard your feelings or your concerns, but also I in my head where I control everything up there well, no. Where I think I have control there. I'm like, am I crazy? Is is the injury in the room with us? Like, I just said. And I would never tell you to stop because it is how we find issues early. But I do think you you stress yourself out
by it. I probably do a little bit. So, yeah. Oh, she she heard us talking about her. She's lumbering over or she's lumbering to the door. Okay. I'll let her. I'll let her. Okay. I'll let her. Okay. You got it. Around. So but, you know, yeah. She's she's doing good. And, you know, her age yeah. You know, the other day did notice that, the tip of her muzzle's starting to show that little bit of white. Yeah. It's creeping in. And then again, my muzzle's got some white
too. So I mean, same. I mean, I pluck mine, but they're not all dark anymore. Well, well, not been doing good. There's been stuff happening, but some of it I'm gonna say for, Friday night. Okay. Okay. So there. So there. I'm gonna tease you like a sadist I am. Some of us like to be teased. That's that's why we're that's why we are in the roles that we're in. Just saying. Onyx, and Ella are Onyx and Ella.
I believe I firmly believe that at night when all the humans are put away, these 2 probably cuddle and snuggle. And I think it throws Ella off during the day when the people are out because she has several times now gone up to try to, like, nuzzle and snuggle with Onyx, and Onyx is not fucking having it at all. And I'm just like, what do you 2 get up to at night? And why, Onyx, are you rejecting Ella, who just wants to be loved? Like, is it is she a little clingy? Yes. Is Ella a little whiny?
Uh-huh. Is Ella operating on half a brain cell? Yeah. If there is a brain cell that the cats share, Onyx does not give up the fucking brain cell. No. Ella is, you know, no thoughts, just vibes. Yeah. But she so desperately wants to cuddle with anybody who will cuddle with her that I'm like, Onyx, just own it. But I am constantly, telling Onyx that if she would allow me to pick her up and hold her or just put both my hands on her at
once, if she fucking love it. Life changing for her in in such a good way. Yeah. No. Yeah. That's a girl who needs a cat therapist. She her her anxiety through the roof. Oh, yeah. Through the roof. Oh, yeah. Trust issues. We've now had her for 4 years. October For 4 years? We got her in October 2020. She's calmed down Mhmm. Slightly. She is demanding for pets, but not not with 2 hands. You do not put 2 hands on her. She's done. Now because that means you might pick her up and take
her to a family. In in that time, she will come and sit on my lap Yours. Mine only. Mhmm. And it is totally on her terms. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Ella will let you pick her up. She Yeah. She will tolerate it for only a little while unless you're one of the boys, and then she I mean, she'll let them hold her upside down if they wanted to. If they don't, they're very good with her. But she she wants to be cradled like a baby with her boys.
But with us, it's, like, yeah. She'll let us hold her and then and then she's done until you let her go and whatever. But Onyx so I just walk around going, I I need Onyx to never ever ever ever ever get sick because how the hell am I supposed to get her to the vet? Mhmm. I don't actually know. Yep. And, But yeah. You know? Yeah. We're we're kinda keeping a a little bit of an eye on what's going on down the Caribbean, but not really because they're so, like, iffy on what it's gonna do.
Yeah. I saw a little update from yesterday, I think, and I went Yeah. And I told JB this. I was like, call me when there's a name and a cone. Right. And then I will pay attention to whatever is happening in the Gulf or in the Caribbean or wherever. But I will say this is probably the warmest November Yes. I can remember in a while because it's like the temperature being warm in Florida in November, not uncommon. No. There being this much fucking humidity?
That's uncommon. I mean, we walk outside and we're we're sweat we're is it as bad as August? No. No. But that's like being on the sun. It's like May when you're thinking, shouldn't I have gotten a little cool breeze still in May? The humidity is kinda low. It's not as high as it will be. Mhmm. November's not it's not supposed to be this way. It's not I'm not supposed to sweat Mm-mm. At every crack and crevice, every fold of skin, just hairline.
Why why wash your hair? You're gonna get out of the shower, go outside, and sweat again. That is where we're at. So Yeah. No. It it it has been norm normally, by this time of the year, I don't need my fan in the shop. Yeah. I still need that fan going. Boy, it gets it gets warm in there. Mhmm. It gets warm in there. We were pouring resin, you and I, yesterday. Yeah. Lord, all the days run together. And it was just like clothing was just it was like it was like summer. Yeah.
You know, slightly lower temperature, but Mhmm. Way more humidity than I'm used to for November. Yeah. Yep. So So yeah. Now supposedly, we have a cold front heading our way. I believe it when I feel it. I know. I know. I hear you. Mhmm. So Dang. Yeah. Tornado. Yeah. No. Thank you. No. Thank you. But yeah. You know, when we're just doing our stuff. We're just doing our stuff. Mhmm. We're gonna keep doing our stuff. Yeah. Because that's that's what we do.
That's all that we do. Yeah. Because our stuff. And on that note, we should probably go do stuff. Yeah. And we got more stuff to do after this stuff. More stuff. And then there's stuff after that. Oh, and then my my to do list filled with stuff. Stuff after stuff after stuff. Yeah. Yeah. And you need a place to put all that stuff. What do you do with all that stuff? I'm looking at my shipping station that has become a placeholder for stuff Yeah. I'm not happy about.
Anyway, this is what we thought. And, hopefully, if anybody who can join on the Friday night live, November 15th, 9:30 PM EST. Mhmm. Hopefully, we'll air quotes see you there. Yeah. Okay. Alright. Bye. Bye.