Answering 10 Unhinged Relationship Questions

a relationship? And I think to me I think so because part of the whole purpose is to help you figure out how BDSM will fit with the life you have, what you want, how you want this to look in, you know, now and in the future. And you can absolutely start figuring some of that out without a partner. It can make it clearer for you on what kind of partner you're looking for. It can help with negotiations because you're like, this is what I know I want, this is what I know I don't want.

So yeah. It's free. Link is in the places. If you haven't already signed up, you haven't checked out the link yet, go take a look, see if it's for you. Sign up. Yay. Okay. Oh, that is through Dom Sub Living. It's not through us. We have partnered with Alessandra many, many, many times. They're the ones who do the virtual summit that we did earlier this year and, a few other things throughout the year. So they've been around and we've been around them for a few years and

yeah. We like them. We trust them. Good educational stuff. And that's how you do a sales pitch. I'm a professional. Okay. I'm gonna get into, these questions, the way it's gonna work. I'm gonna read them. JB is gonna answer so he actually gets some airtime, and then I'll suck up all the oxygen in the room, and then we'll repeat and do this for for 10 whole times. Oh. Before you do that Sure. Oh, please turn the fan on. I was starting to, like, swelter in here. And that's with it being evening

and overcast. It really, really wants to rain outside, but it has not yet. And all the curtains closed. Right. Still sweltering. Yep. So Therapy Jeff is a relationship therapist, counselor person. He's professional. I I see him on Instagram. I know he's on TikTok. His reels are, sometimes quite to the point you know, somebody probably got their feelings hurt based on the comments, but he's pretty no nonsense, and I kinda like his delivery and

his vibe. So if you like these questions, you might like him. Go check him out. The link to the actual reel where these questions come from is in the places as well. Okay. Here we go. First question. Yeah. I know. This one blouse. Yeah. Okay. If you learned that your partner had been hired to date you as part of a social experiment where very hot people dated complete losers, would you be able to forgive them?

Yeah. I love the implication that we are individually on each side of the question, the hot person. Yeah. You know, I honestly don't know. Mhmm. I honestly don't know. I I think it would depend on a lot of variables. Mhmm. I agree with that. I agree with that. And, What, like some name some variables. Name some variables? Yes. I I guess if they showed remorse. Sure. Okay. That would be that would be one thing.

Mhmm. You know, and I think it if if the feeling if there were feelings that were genuine. Sure. Sure. You know? But, yeah. That'd be wild. Would you be do you think can you imagine what your initial reaction might be? Probably shock. Yeah. Yeah. I I definitely shock, betrayal, so pissed off. But then I'm I agree with you. It it context dependent. If it's a month into the relationship, a year into the relationship, I I don't know that I could move on

from something like that. That's that's too soon. That's not enough depth of trust for me. At this point, ten years in, I'd be like, dude, they forgot the game was even being played. It's just you on on your lonesome eye. At this point, a decade in, you clearly want to be here. So there would have to be some level of Grove Ling. I accept cash payments and gifts. There would have to be

remorse in order for me. We would have to go to a therapist because I would my trust issues being what they are, that's a pretty deep betrayal. Mhmm. But if I can then add the layers of, like, everything else that's gone on since and those things still feel genuine, I could probably get over it. But if now I'm looking at everything that's gone on for the entirety of our relationship through that lens That'd be tough. That would be tough. That would be tough. That would be tough. So

yeah. Early days in a relationship, honey, you're out on your fucking ass. Go. Go. Go. Go. But years later, in in a relatively good relationship where you're Mhmm. You're happy to be there and, you know, everybody seems to wanna be there, I mean, there'd be some work to do. Yeah. But, you know. Yeah. I I think the thing that gets me the most out of it, you know, that oh, so I'm a loser then. Right. You know? That's the thing that's the implication. Like, what's going on in my head?

I I I was the loser. Right. Okay. That's what you thought of me when you like, that those are the kinds of thoughts I think I would be having. I'd be like, that's what you thought of me at first. Mhmm. And I think, you know, hypothetically, once I could think clearly and my sarcasm came back, I'd be like, well, clearly, there's something wrong with you because you stuck around all this time. But yeah. Or a newish relationship that doesn't have, like, any foundation? Yeah. Get the fuck out of

here. I'm done. Go. Okay. Next question. This one cracked me. This no. Not this one. I'm thinking of another one. Sorry. Chaos. Okay. Imagine a situation where someone offered you money to go no contact with your partner for one year. What would be the minimum amount that could make you seriously consider it? I am terrified. It better be more than 5 damn dollars. I don't think well, you know what? In all honesty, I don't think I could do it. I could not. I there is no.

Tell me a trillion. Oh, let's make that's make believe money. Okay. No. It's Yeah. I I don't I Not no contact. Not no contact. Yeah. No. No. No. No. There there there is not enough. Mm-mm. Something, something. And I couldn't do it for, like, longer than that because, you know, even if I tried to, like, put our myself back into the long distance relationship headspace Mhmm. We didn't do, like, so hot mentally in as individuals when we went more than, like, two months without seeing what

it is like or so. There's, like, a a time limit. And now the layers of, interdependency we have on each other. Nope. There's It's scary. The amount of money does not exist. It does not exist. Okay. This one this one is unhinged. No. That's right. This one is so unhinged. And I this one's so unhinged. If it was discovered that you and your partner are actually long lost half siblings, would you stay together and would you tell anyone? Fuck. Visions of VC Andrews popping in my head.

Lord. I'm a little braggy. Try to reread those books. Yeah. I know. But we're but long lost. Long lost. Yeah. Yeah. We're not raised together. Long lost. Okay. So I I I I, damn. It's a it's a two parter. Would we stay together? Siblings, half siblings. Right. Like like, we don't share both parents. It's just, like, share a mom, share a dad something. I don't think I could. Really? I don't think I could. Not not with not like that. That that's just too close for comfort for me.

I respect that. I think most people would say that. Me? My because I'm thinking of you. I'm not thinking of a random partner. It's you. Oh, no. We're together. We're not trying to procreate. This is not about there's no inbreeding that's about to happen. If we were not raised together, we've gone forty some odd and sixty some odd years apart, never as siblings, and we're not trying to mix and match genetics. I'm not going no fucking way.

Am I telling anybody? But that is not the episode that would pop up in this podcast. I mean, nope. But, I mean, everything's context dependent. You know? Are we 19 and, you know, graduated from the same high school? Like yeah. That no. Thank you. At this point, though, and not not knowing a damn thing about each other and, again, let me see. Not making babies together. Yeah. No. I with you knowing it's you, you're not going just sit down. You'll be

okay. We won't tell anybody. We will pretend we don't don't know. It'll be fine. It'll be fine. Maybe maybe the libido will, like, be dormant for a while while we get our head on right. But just sit down. Okay? We're not we're not gonna tell anybody. They don't need to know what we do in our own house behind closed doors. Us. Truly, uncle, daddy, two in one deal. Oh my gosh. Love it. I love it. Love it. Love it. Look. Look. Look.

It if the step sibling, smut trope can be a thing, the we were raised completely apart for literal decades, did not know, don't have a the only connection is genetic, and we're not trying to make babies with our genetic code, I think the step sibling thing is more taboo based on all of that. But I'm still not telling no damn body. That is for fucking sure. I'm not telling anybody. Nope. Nope. Okay. This one, I I have a very clear answer on

this next one. Yeah. Suppose you discovered that your previous relationship ended because your current partner covertly orchestrated its demise, ensuring you were single so they could step into your life. Would you find this romantic or a red flag? Red flag. Romantic. Really? You would have saved me from my fucking ex husband. Thank you very much. Jeez. No. When I answer these questions, I'm thinking of you and the relationship that we have.

Had I found out five minutes into it, that's a red flag. Here I am looking back on my life, and I'm like, oh, that needed to end. Thank you for helping me. It only works if I find out a decade plus later. Within the first year, it's like a betrayal. It's a red flag. What the hell is going on? Because will that be happening to me in the future? I mean, I do have a little

bit of that. It's not it's not universally true, but it is more common than not that what somebody will do with one partner, like, when it comes to betraying trust, they will likely do with somebody else. Could orchestrate something like that, I wouldn't wanna be around to see what else you could do if you get pissed at me. No. I'd be like, okay. Look. We're gonna try a bank heist next because I'm feeling a little broke. Really? Have a very specific set of skills.

Like, you need to capitalize on this. Now when it's you and we're because especially once you've been together at a there's a certain amount of time, assuming there are no, like, other red flags in a relationship, assuming it's a genuinely on both sides happy relationship, I'm just gonna be like, okay. You paved the way you made this possible. Because here's the thing, I can look back and see how my life is better with you than with anybody else I was with before. Same.

I mean, I can yeah. If that holds true, then thank you. Thank you for saving me from myself. I clearly should not be allowed to pick my own partner, and you just keep doing it for me. I mean, that's that's just you know? Okay. Excuse me. This one this one Yeah. Is it doesn't feel that unhinged to me. Mhmm. Because I think we in the kink world would call this a Saturday night.

Imagine a situation where someone offered you money to watch your partner make passionate love with their number one celebrity crush. What would be the minimum amount that could make you pull up a chair and watch it go down? Wouldn't need to pay me a dime. I know. You would be paying us. You'd be like, Henry Cavill? Come on down. Right. I have a check for you. Pedro Pascal? You know? Oh my both? Jesus. God. Oh my god. Yeah. Because they both have a similar kind of inner oh my god.

Yeah. I would pay you. I would pay them. I would pay you. Yeah. I I wouldn't no. Yeah. Yeah. No. You wouldn't need to pay me. Just go. Because you're a voyeur though. Right? You are a voyeur. Also, we don't have weird feelings about, oh, you have a celebrity crush you'd like to fuck. We talk about who we'd like to fuck together and who would we destroy? Who could not handle us?

Every time I see a clip or a reel or, like, rehashing when Pager Pascal basically said he was submissive, I'm just like, oh my god. Okay. I I can't make it work on my own, but that's why we make a good team. And oh, yeah. So here's here's the thing. I am I am both an exhibitionist and, like, anti voyeur. Like, I am repulsed by voyeurism I don't wanna watch. Like, I can I can read it, and I can kinda watch it in movies and TV shows, kind of?

But to be in the room, I'm gonna need I am gonna need some money. Not because I'm freaked out. Not because I'm like, oh, no. I don't wanna watch the man I love. Fuck somebody else. No. No. No. No. It's because I am so deeply uncomfortable watching things like that and being the voyeur. I I get impatient. I get antsy. I figure if you give me an edible and enough money to pay off, like, actual debt, like, you could feel the difference the next month when you don't have to pay that bill.

That's enough. I'll watch you fuck anybody. Create a line, everybody. Roll up, pay me money, get the mortgage paid off while we're at it. But I might need an edible. I might need something to, like, relax me. I might need something to to temper the whatever I got going. I'm gonna, yeah, I'm gonna need that. I'm gonna need that. Yeah. But see, the thing is because we both not universally, but we both have several of the same

celebrity crushes. Yeah. I really think we're just gonna tag team, and we'll just tap in when it's our turn to be the watcher versus the day. Yeah. Good lord. I can see that. I mean, I just think we'd we'd ride Henry Cavill just the two of us, he's a big dude. Mhmm. You know? You're you're our short king. I, I am not. But, you know, I think I think he could take us. I just bounce on that man like a trampoline. Right. And then have Pedro in, like, the corner

waiting for, you know, whatever. But he'd probably, like, smile a little big, and I'd be like He no. That's not his energy. He'd he'd be like dancing and He'd probably be dancing. Yeah. You know, try he'd be he'd be working on corner, he'd be he'd get him in a submissive headspace and he'd probably sit there and do whatever the fuck you wanted him to do. True. True. True. True. And if I ever had to hear Pedro Pascal call some sexy man daddy, I just think I

wouldn't just I'd be a puddle. I'd be a fucking puddle. Where where did I find my libido? When Pedro Pascal starts saying daddy and saying, that was it. That was it. Now I will pay you for that. Anyway oh, but I'm gonna need an edible to have sit there and watch. I'm gonna need a comfy chair, an edible Julie. And at least 5 figure payment. Julie said I better watch out that you may pimp me out to to pay the mortgage. I have pimped out. But she she she already pimps me out. So I don't you

know? Not in the not in the, you know, money for, like, sex with another human, but I I've put many many bits and pieces of JB on the Internet in exchange for money. He was my stunt dick for about a year, some sex toy stuff. Yeah. No. I've I've I was trying to sell some of his Dom services. Like, would you like JB to tell you what to do? Money. I'll try to convince him. Anyway okay. Number six. Okay. This is this is sort of a deep one, I think.

Imagine you have the option to know every secret, big or small, that your partner has kept from you. Would you wanna know? No. No. I don't even know. I I I you know, it it's just like in in any relationship, you know, you have your little thing that you go off and do. I have my little, you know, things that I go off and do, you know, and and we each have our little separate spaces. It's the same way with that. I don't have to know every single little thing.

I know. You know? How long did it take me to realize I didn't have to tell you every single thought going through my brain? It was several years. It was almost a decade before I finally we did a whole damn episode on it once I figured it out. No. You know, again, I'm thinking in context of our relationship, the trust is strong, the openness, and the open communication is there. We are both happy. It's a healthy relationship. If, you know, if I don't know about it, I don't need to know about it.

We each get to have our own individual like thoughts and experiences. It makes the relationship stronger when you can kinda come back together after being off doing your own thing. How long did it take me to finally, like, get that that thought to sink into my brain? Oh, about about a week ago. Anyway. But if I'm in a relationship where I don't have full trust of my partner yet or some shit has gone down, in a in a second, just tell me everything. But that to me is a sign of

something. Is it a sign that there's a problem with the dynamic between the two of you that you feel like important things are being hidden from you? Mhmm. Is it because you yourself are hiding things so you assume that other people are? Like, what is it in your life and your experiences either within this relationship or prior to that, you know, to me, that's the thing to look at. The the answer, you know, determines more than anything. You know, the answer

tells you more than just the answer. Like, you and I have no interest in it because at this point, we know that we're not hiding anything, you know, bad. We're not actually hiding anything. It's just privacy. It's just this is my thing. Right. That's your thing. I mean, that that's like, you know, in in in some dynamics, you know, Dom's wanna have their all their subs passwords and codes and things like that. And I have no desire. Never have every you know. You let me set most of the passwords

anywhere. I know. Yeah. It throws me off when you make one up on your own. And yet, you know what? I agree with you because I'm I give a little bit of side eye when a Dom wants that level of control and knowledge, but does not share it and reciprocate. Right. But that that that's where the difference lies because from the very beginning, once we commingled our lives, I had access to yours, you had access to mine.

I could I log in to your bank, your account with your login more than I log in to my own to the point that one day JB had to call me and go, can you log in to this? I'm like, you have it on your phone. I know, but I cannot get in. It's not recognizing me. I'm like, oh, let me just click a button. Here we are. But nine you know, me having all that information is not a control thing. It's a

Mhmm. These are my tasks. When JB was in charge, like, financially, he had all that information because he was doing the work, but I always had access. I could I know where to go find passwords. I know what our main air quote main password is with some variations. I've created a new main password for us because they the requirements keep getting longer. And yeah. More special characters, and I had to come up with a new one. Right. But yeah. So Gonna need to add on to the keyboards. I know.

Bring back Wingdings. Oh, damn. Oh, I think it just I think it just showed you eight. Yeah. Birthday boy. Next thing you're gonna tell me, we're gonna make something up in, Microsoft Paint. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. MS Paint. I think it's what it's called back in the day. Mhmm. So yeah. Like, the important stuff gets shared when it needs to get shared, and sometimes not as quickly as I would like.

I tend to read you quicker and go something's off, but it's it's never been I don't want to tell you. It's I can't tell you yet. I need time. I'm processing. I'm thinking. Or, oh, you noticed something that I didn't even notice. Let me go away and think about what's what's going on because I you weren't consciously think about it. Yeah. Me, I'm in my head too much. I know that I'm gonna be upset about something before the thing happens, before I see anybody's reactions. And I'm already preparing

in advance for the, I'm gonna feel. So we're gonna talk about it in advance about how I'm gonna feel, but, like, there's no there's nothing for you to not know. But so when there's something that I'm just not talking about, it's just a personal private thing. It's not a secret. Mhmm. You know? Does that make sense? Yep. Okay. Yep. Okay. This one. Hoo goodness. Number seven. If you could ask all of your partner's exes what they didn't like about them and what their major red flags are,

would you want to know that information? No. Absolutely not. I would not. Because here's here's the thing. The way you were with somebody else Mhmm. Was because that person was different. They they're not like me. And that was a different point in my life. Right. Different everything. Right. So you know most of what they would have to say would be moot Mhmm. To begin with. Or you'd be like, oh, I see where she worked through that. I'm not Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. See, and here's go ahead. Sure. And and see, you know, for for anything like that, it's like we have the communication. If I wanted to know, I could ask you. If I if I'm capable of looking back and going, oh, yeah. That was a red flag. For sure. For sure. Yeah. See, I'm the opposite, but not because I think I'm gonna be told some crazy information I already know.

Oh, yeah. Go ahead and tell me because knowing you the way that I do, one, it will give me a peek at who were you at that point in your life. Two, it will tell me, depending on what they say, more about them, probably more than, at this point, ten plus years on, over a decade. Like, we've got so much time in that, you know, I'm either gonna hear something that I'm like, yeah. I mean, I wouldn't have called that a red flag, but sure sure. Or I'll be like, oh, I see where your head space is

at. I I've learned some things about you, the the former partner. But but that's because that's how I just move through the world when people tell me information. I've, you know, think I know who that person is based on that. It's and and and I know who the hell I don't know them know them, but I know who the hell your exes were. So there's

one ex where it was amicable. I mean, y'all went however many decades without even knowing y'all were running in the same circles, but then when you caught back up, it was amicable. And then another that did not end amicably, but over time, y'all could be in the same room without it being a problem. If I'm sure everybody has their own red flags. If my major, like, ex husband x started listing out red flags, I'm I might have to be oh, lord.

There goes my I might have to be held back because and the mature part of me is, like, it it takes two for a relationship to to fall apart, blah blah blah, barring something dangerous. Right. Right. It takes two for a relationship to fall apart. But if that motherfucker wanted to start listing my, problems and how I was a problem, I would need to be held back from him because I would become violent. And I would show you a red flag,

motherfucker. But that's because I've got, like, some stuff I need to work through. With that, I thought I put my phone on airplane. Mhmm. So, yeah, I would I would be interested more as, like, a psychological, what was JB like back then? You know? Or Don't go too far back. And or how did they view this situation? Because you have shared things with me from those previous relationships. So then I would, like, oh my god. That's a nosy person's, like or at least my nosy self's, like, fucking

wet dream. Like, oh, oh, let me get everybody's perspective, and then I can decide what I think think the actual truth is in the middle. That is gonna be so much advice. And see that's that's why I I would prefer not to know because, you know, it's I was told this many years ago and I believe it. There there is three sides to every story. Yes. I agree. One side, their side And the truth. And somewhere in the middle is the truth. Yes.

I agree. I agree. Yep. Yeah. But that's all that's why I wanna know the other side because then I can do all in my head all the analysis. I don't wanna go through all that. All the analysis and oh, I know why JB was like that because here's where he was at this point in the time. Oh, I know why she was like that because she's a bit no. No. I wouldn't do that. Okay. Number eight. If a genie offered you three wishes, but there was a 10% chance your partner would disappear from your life forever,

would you accept those wishes? Wouldn't take the risk. That was my initial thought too, but then I had a secondary thought, like a comma button. Okay. Could I use one of my three wishes to bring your ass back? Oh. Or to make sure you didn't go anywhere. Because yes, the first time I read it, I went no. No. Not 10% is too high. Too fucking high. Point 01% is too fucking high. But what if I could wish your ass back? And then I'd still have two wishes.

And by the end of it, I would have no fucking mortgage. This is all about the mortgage tonight. Because I gotta pay it. Okay? No. But yeah. Like, that's Yeah. Because I I'm right there with you, Maya. That that's an interesting way it's in here. I'm yeah. And because initially, he's saying that, you know, 10% It's not. You know, there there there would have been some in the past. Yeah. Let's play that. Let's spin that wheel. Let's spin that wheel. The the biological father

of the children. Oh, yeah. And then I would be reminded that I've I I never get to win those guys. Because I don't have gambling and me and luck and me. No. No. No. No. So I go into a casino. I just tip tip really well because if I put the money in the slot machine, I it's never coming back to me. I'll take that $10 and give somebody a tip. It'll be mine. But yeah. No. With you, 10% no. That's that's oh my god. Like, when I like when I think about it, like,

my stomach drops. One, because I don't think I have any, like, air quote, luck. Right? Mhmm. Like, of course, that would be the universe going, you were finding out now that you fucked around. But Yeah. If I can wish you back, you still have two wishes? Okay. But I would need to see the fine print of the agreement with Genie before let me read the contract because there's always loopholes. That's a whole thing with the genie thing. You got a lot of loopholes. Oh,

yeah. You know, they're you're you're gonna ask for what you want, but you're never gonna ask for it in a way that there's not some fuckery going on. Like, I could wish for my mortgage to be paid off and come to find out somebody has purchased it and now we don't have a house. Right? You know what I mean? Like, there's always those twists. Mhmm. So, yeah. I'd have to read the fine print. I like that one. Okay. Okay. Number nine.

If you had the ability to get rid of one of your partner's flaws or imperfections, which one would it be and why? Go ahead. I could if I'm gonna cry, I'll do it off camera. Don't you worry. You know, I I I drop things a lot, folks. I, you know, I my things slip through my fingers. And, so every time I drop something, I get are you alright? Are you okay? Is everything alright? Yeah. Let's let's do away with that. Can can I tell you I mean, there's the obvious I'm an anxious

human being. Like, we know that. Put that to the side. The the couple of times there have been big crash like sounds emanating from your presence and you were actively harming yourself. And the response I got was, well, I'm glad it went more serious because you didn't even come and look check check on me. Means, honey, the moment we hear anything, I'm like a mere cat. Are you okay? When it sounds real serious, I'll actually get up and go in the other room real quick.

But I think you did that one to yourself. I mean, other than the fact that I'm an anxious person. Yeah. Okay. So I wish mine was fun. I'm just gonna show off my job in drama some more. So flaws are in the eye of the beholder. Right? Some one person's flaws, another person's who the fuck cares. Like, I get that. If I could, like, wave my magic wand I know.

It would be the so when you are agitated, anxious, slightly annoyed, surprised even, but not in a pleasant way, and you or you're passionate about something, but it's a thing that makes you angry. I get loud. Yes. And and me and the the fifteen year old both call it aggressive. There's a you feel like you're being yelled at, and I know part of it's the you know, that's how I was raised in Italian. Let's tell me I'll talk to another. Yes. It sounds like you're all yelling at one another.

I was raised by Italians on one side and German on the other. You only know how to speak very firmly and very loudly to one another. I was traumatized by a parent who was raised by Italians, but he was actually mean. He that one just how he talked. He's mean. And so take out the silliness of it. Yeah. Yeah. That's actually my problem to work on. But man, if I could just snap my fingers and that went away. Like, I don't want you to be fake sweet, fake nice. I don't want that either.

I just just wish that even when like, the only time it came out, like, air quote aggressive, it was when when it warranted, like, when there's a serious thing or, like, you're super, super mad. But sometimes you think you're just talking to us and me and the youngest are like, what did we do wrong? What is going on? Are you mad at us? I would change that if I could. Man, you you you know, when I was a kid and I finally got old enough to sit at the big table Were you terrified?

No. Mhmm. I was happy to be there. I wanted to be there. Oh, okay. Okay? But the only way you would get heard Mhmm. Mhmm. Okay? You had to speak up. You had to, you know Yeah. You know, you're just in there. No. It ain't gonna cut it in in in that family. Here's what's interesting to me. I feel like I'm seeing some family dynamics come out here. I'm a person who can absolutely project her voice to the point I'm often told you're talking real loud, and I don't think

I am, but whatever whatever. You and I think knowing a little bit about your family dynamics when you were younger, you don't just project, you put, like, some spice behind it. Like, you're like, it's like, let me show you how serious I am by, like, you know? Whereas I just learned how to just project the fucking voice. Now in my situation, our air quote big family gathering might have 11 people total. And I was always the only child, so there was no kids table for me. I was right in

the thick of things. Yeah. But yeah. My my mom and my grandmother formed a club called the dozen cousins. Oh my god. That's too many fucking cousins. There was a lot more. I don't have any cousins. That's too many. There there by by the end, there was a lot more than a dozen cousins. Oh, sure. Sure. Yeah. No. No. Yeah. No. I don't have any close cousins at all. Was the only kid, the only grandkid, the only, niece slash nephew because nobody had boys either. I was I was it.

So one, when somebody raised their voice and they were firm or slash aggressive, it was it was because they were pissed off of me. Like, that's my only experience. But yeah. Yeah. No. No. You if if you don't speak up, you you just you got left behind. I think part of it is you've your face gets real serious when you get that tone. Even if you don't think like, it's a it's an entire vibe. And Okay. I could possibly be gaslit into thinking, oh,

no. That's normal. It's all me. But the kid who has not the same kind of childhood trauma that I do, They've got their own, but it's thankfully Mhmm. Not anything we did to them. They clock it too. It's I know. I I know both you do. And when you call me out on it, I'm kinda like Well, you poor thing. I What are you talking about? Oh, gosh. I was just having a conversation aggressively with a frown on my face. Apparently, this livestream is therapy for at least one of us.

Okay. Okay. Very curious. This is the last question. I'm very I'm very curious about your answer. I think I know my answer. I'm very curious. You have a one time use time machine and you have to use it to alter something in your relationship. What are you going to alter? I think the only thing I would alter is, if we had met earlier. Yeah. If we had met sooner. Oh. Oh my god. That's I did not think of something sweet like that. Well, you're the Scorpio bitch from hell. I

expect that. And you're a Cancer with all those fucking feelings, but that was actually very surreal. Here's the thing I would alter. One time use. Okay. I'm going back to either 2017 or 2018, cause y'all know how I am with time. I'd have to go look at a calendar. And I'm gonna go back to us and I'm gonna sit us down. I'm gonna hold our hands and I'm gonna go, you need to start saving money and stop spending money. And you need a six month minimum emergency

fund to pay your bills. Also, also, don't do 3% down when you buy your house. Do 20% down and get just you have the money if you just have the Yeah. Yeah. Because here's what's coming in 2020. Right? Yeah. Really. And so yes. Yes. I think you're like, uh-huh. Sure. But also, here's where I piss me off, and here's why I annoy even me. Okay. I would not have wished the several crazy years we had were, you know, there were car accidents and motorcycle accidents and no money and, like, all the

stuff. Mhmm. I'm not wishing it on me. I'm not wishing it on anybody. But I also know that our relationship went through fire together. Yes. And we are now coming out on the other side way stronger. I mean, I would have told you five years ago, we were solid, you know. We were Well, you know that. Everything was unlocked. That's how they harden steel by fire. Right. And so Here we are. If I could alter it, I'd tell us because here's the thing. Here's what I know to be

true. If a future me showed up and started telling me what I needed to do, I'd have two reactions probably simultaneously. Who the fuck are you to tell me what I gotta do? And also I'd be like, is this person for real? To so how do I look like? What year are you coming from? Like, I'd have I don't even know if I would, like, trust it, but I sure as shit would try if I could.

And yet knowing what I know now, I you know, I think what life would do, and I'm sure this is maybe how it might happen cosmically if you think of a cosmic whatever whatever, cosmic force, like, making things happen. If we didn't have to get forged in that fire, we'd have another fucking fire to go through. Yeah. It's weird. But but yeah. Nuts. You go back and make us meet earlier. I'll go back and tell us to slow the fuck down. Right.

Stop. We did that very common thing of, oh, the more money you make, the more money you spend. And Yeah. What I know now? No. No. I'm way too paranoid for that. Yep. I would like to live well beneath my means. Yeah. Thank you. Yep. Ta da. Those were our 10 questions. Cool. I'm not maybe it's because we're old and boring, and we've just we don't have, like, a relationship that anybody's gonna give a side eye to. I mean, other than the kink thing. But, you know, in this space with all of

us together, nobody's given a side eye. Those don't feel unhinged so much as, like, random. But if we had sat down and done with these, like, six months in before, like, I was, like, in it in it when it was still kinda new and shiny, I might have been sent for I might have started running for the Hills. I might have been, like, a little a little worried about things. But also, if I try to go back to to then, what would you have said my flaw was

then? It would probably been like, could you just believe me when I tell you something? Could you just believe that I'm actually into you and I want to be here? That would be great. Thanks. Anyway, ta da. Ta da. Those are the questions. If, if you want the questions, I've linked to Therapy Jeff's Instagram reel where he actually put the questions in the caption. I was very grateful for that because I copied and pasted into my script. For podcast listeners, the show notes on Friday will have

the questions as well. So if anybody wants to, like for yourself as an individual or, like, as a little relationship exercise Yeah. Feel free. Mhmm. Feel free. Yeah. But, yeah, that's it. And we'll go into a bonus section. So, are we good? I don't know. Keep it kinky, y'all. And we'll see you next week. Daddy. Yes, baby girl. Can we talk to the crickets? Sure. Okay. Jamie's birthday is on Saturday. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. He's stuck. You have some interference.

Stop. Somebody is very annoyed with you right now. Don't worry. Probably, like, half a second, I'll accidentally bump accidentally bump the microphone and somebody will be annoyed with me. See? It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. So other than Jamie's birthday is on Saturday. What have you got for the bonus section? Look. Look. Man, I have to wait till my birthday to keep that shit up. Look. Look. Even in our driest dry spells, when nobody was like, we were like, yeah.

We love one another. Yeah. Dom sub. Sure. Sure. But nobody was thinking of anything else. There were still two birthday spagings a year. Thank you very much. That's true. That's true. That's true. So what's going on? Been playing in the shop. You have been? Yep. Got the, got the new lade set up. Mhmm. But I'm waiting for the adapters to show up so I can actually fully use it. And, you know, did we have the conversation upon ordering, do we need to buy the

adapters? And somebody went, oh, no. We're fine. We're fine. Somebody needed the adapters. The and and I I will admit that was totally on me. Sure. All my all my chucks that I have used on the lades are NOVA chucks. And in order to make NOVA chucks work on Non NOVA things. Non NOVA things, you need adapters. So my initial thought was, oh, I'm getting a Nova Nova Lathe. So the Novakooks that I have should be compatible with them. Right? Which would make sense. I agree. I

agree. No. They were not. No. Now here's what's hilarious. Somebody was very excited for Monday to roll around before they realized they needed these adjusters, blah blah blah things, because they wanted to turn. And I have a long list of things we're sold out of at theconcrete,thebigger.com. Keep writing them in bigger and bigger letters on the board, you know. And of them and I've gotta actually move one thing up to the list because it's now officially sold

out too. Oh, dear. Of the things that are sold out, there's five things on the list that are completely out of stock. Mhmm. Four of them require the lathe. Yes. Four of them. Yep. So Yep. Yep. Yep. Yeah. And then here's what's ironic. I don't know. I don't know. Mhmm. Order the big, big expensive tool. It's coming from Clearwater, which is, the area we used to live. It arrives the next day? The next day. The next day. Yeah. We didn't, like, pay for special the next day. It arrived the next day.

Because and we're, like, okay. It's close. Great. We ordered early in the day, and, like, it worked out. These little adapters, they're coming from the same location. Will they be here by the end of the week? Hopefully. Are they coming through the see, the big tools came through UPS. UPS. Right. Are these coming through the post office? Post office. Yeah. Oh my god. That's why I said that's why Mhmm. Our all our mail, regardless of where it comes from, goes through Jacksonville.

And, But sometimes it goes other places, but Jacksonville is the main one. Yeah? Jacksonville is technically where it goes before it comes here Mhmm. To to this town. Sometimes Jacksonville is a black hole. Oh, yeah. It's a it's a it's in transit. Yeah. Air quote that. We we we've had stuff go from Jacksonville recently to Puerto Rico. Then came back up to Orlando, then went to Gainesville, then came to

us. Yeah. Yeah. And then there was something else that that traveled along all the the Mid Midwest states, I think. Wasn't there something There's one thing that just finally arrived two weeks after I ordered it because it was shipped out of North Dakota Mhmm. Went to one North Dakota processing center, left there. I could see that in tracking, and then just went on a journey until it finally arrived in Jacksonville

two weeks later. Yeah. And all the tracking shows you is it's in transit, which, the little bit I know about US post office, which is damn little, is that when things get backed up, whether it's weather or it's really busy or, you know, the governmental things are not functioning properly because this is the hellscape we live in, they will not scan things at every destination to just kinda move it through, and they will also reroute things from, like,

where it would normally go because that place is too busy to somewhere else. My favorite is when they don't scan and they reroute, that's how you get a package down in Puerto Rico even though it came from, like, not not down that far. Nope. So Yeah. So, yeah. What what what has happened thus far, because I I've been kind of peeking at, you know, watching the tracking. Two days ago, it made it to Jacksonville, and it got scanned in. Mhmm. Hasn't been seen since anywhere.

Look. That's okay. I'm helping a person through the kinkery, thekinkery.com, who lives in Australia. Ordered something two and a half, two ish, almost three week close to three weeks ago. I I either it was either picked up by our postal our mail carrier or it was one of the ones I dropped off. There was, like, a two day period where I was doing both because we had so much kinda going out. I try not to, like, be mean to our mail carrier

and give them, like, too many packages. But I know that it left this property, and it is in the possession of the USPS. The tracking says, label has been created awaiting pickup by the post office, and this poor person has is emailing going, do you know when a package will leave, will arrive? I'm like, I don't even know if it exists anymore. Have a plan. I'm gonna work with that person and help them out. Mhmm. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks. Yep. Post office. And see, the thing is is

I know it's not the post office. It's not I mean, every every place that has employees employees are people and some weird shit happens. The weather issues. Oh my god. The weather stuff. The tragedies from the weather stuff is what's awful. But that slows everything down. Then if our local post offices are, like, indicative of anything, they're all they're short staffed somewhere because they're, I mean, seem to be constantly hiring. Yeah. Are they

on a hiring freeze? Don't know. I don't know anything about that part. So, like, I wanna I wanna support my post office, but I would like packages to arrive. Mhmm. Mhmm. So, you know, as I don't know, what is this? Is it's the good good. Yeah. Yep. It's it's it's a good good machine and I'm I'm looking forward to really putting it to, I'm looking forward to products being restocked. I know. Because you could fully use the machine.

But, you know, this this has given me time to play with some other things. True true. True true. And I'm I am, not even really focused on that right now, because I am in the process of, not rebuilding, but building our process of not rebuilding, but building our site somewhere else other than where it currently lives. And if I can make that happen and it can work properly and it not be expensive to run, then I we will be switching things up for the kinkery, the kinkery.com.

So it's my current, and I'm I am using this the way it is actually meant to be. It is my current Hyperfocus because I have ignored all kinds of other things I need to do so that I could play with that system. And then when I finally can, like, sit down and really work on it, like I could today, I lost all track of time.

I am really tired of having to be a responsible adult slash parent because I was bitching at dinner tonight and was like, I don't even get to enjoy my focus because there's no point in any day, and I'm sure this is just a responsible adult thing, but it is definitely a parenting thing too. There is no world in which I get literal hours where I can just lose myself. Self. And I'm not wired to be a person who can somehow tune out all of the other things.

I'm not a person that if I'm focused, if you start talking to me, it'll take me a few minutes to realize you are there. But once I've come up, you know, it's my turn to cook dinner. Let me go do that. It's this. A kid needs that. This is what's going on. But but because there's just so much. And I have spent my whole adult life going, I I just want I just want one whole day. I just want one whole day or whatever it is I'm working on. But you know what I do when I even get half a day?

I scroll on Instagram or I read my book and I procrastinate. It's very annoying. Yep. Yep. Yep. So Yeah. Anyway So with that, you know, I've been I've been playing with knives. You have been? Mhmm. I need more knives. Plus, you're like playing with new things. I've been I've been playing with real knives. Oh, well, I need more of the kind that we sell. I know. We're running out of those too. It's such a it's it's such a good problem to have. I don't like to complain

about it. Yeah. But I also hate seeing that stressed out expression you get when you start thinking about all the I have this long list of I need this, and I need this, and I need this. And he's like, you stop his breathing properly. Excuse me. Yeah. I do. I don't like to stress you out like that. I'll find I'll find fun ways to stress you out. Ways that crack me up. Okay? That's fine. It's not real stress. You'll get you'll get your outlet the way I like to do

it. But when it's real stress, it's just not fun. No. No. No. No. So Lola's good. Mhmm. We stressed Ella the hell out. Oh. Oh, I will I will complain about this. I got to learn the depths and breadth of JB's disdain for Ella the cat. She takes okay. We have been trying to transition these cats to a different litter for literally three months. We've been doing a slow, like, mix in, mix in, mix in. We've got three

litter boxes. Two are fully switched over. We had one that we had one that was fully switched over, one that was, like, mostly the new stuff, very little of the old stuff. And then we had one that was, like, an an even split between the two. And I was like, these litter boxes are all getting used, so I think it's safe if we just let's go ahead and swap these others out and make it fully the new. We're doing the pine pellet thing because it smells better.

Ella stressed out so much. Even though she has put her paws on this shit for three months now, she started peeing on everything and everywhere except the litter box. Yep. And JB took it personally. I did I did have to go. She is not doing this to piss you off. She is stressed out. We washed all kinds manners of blankets. We had to wash our curtains. I didn't Yeah. I didn't know it, a a cat that doesn't spray like the, I

guess, the boy cats do. I didn't know a girl cat could pee standing up like that, but, apparently, she can't. She went in and pissed in roll Lola's crate. She did. Poor Lola did not wanna go in there, but she could not tell us why. Lola did not like that. So we, who love one another very, very much, ended up not sounding like we loved one another. And we have got one. JB is the the king of mind fucks

because at first, you're like, okay. Let's get some stuff to spray to deter, like, where she's been pinging so she doesn't go back, which she was not going back to the same spot more than once, except for the fucking curtain, but that I don't know. And then I don't think either of us trusted that was enough. And then JB had a brilliant idea. He goes, look. Keep the new stuff at the bottom. Just sprinkle the old stuff on top. I was like, oh, like like powdered sugar on top of a cake or something.

Okay. It worked. Yeah. It worked now. She is now pickier about her. Look. I have to go in more often to sprinkle more on top of it, and she's not a dumbass because guess what? By the end of this week, that box will be 50 fucking 50 again, and we're back to buying two goddamn Yeah. Litters. Yeah. But, yeah, she was so stressed out. I felt bad for her. I was like, we were not we thought we thought three months was enough time.

Mhmm. It was not enough time. No. I don't think there is enough time for her. No. No. I mean, it was you know, she she peed on your shoes. She peed on your shoes. Peed on my shoes. And see, here's the thing. And I don't know if I don't know if it's because I really was calm about it or if I was trying to show JB how you could get through this without losing your shit, he would come storming into her room and go, she pissed on this now. And I'd go,

okay. And if it was a thing that I would just clean, I would just go clean it. But, like, the curtains he had to help take down. He found out about Lola's bed before I even got out of bed. Had to strip all that down. He started those. But, like, the shoes, he put my foot in my shoe and went up. Oh, god. Yeah. Pulled my foot out, hobbled to where the Clorox went. And I'm not, like, I'm I'm not having a it was like

gentle parenting. I was emotionally regulating myself in hopes that that would help JB regulate his emotions about it. And I was like, if I stay calm, hopefully, he'll stay calm. It'll be fine. We're just gonna be no nonsense. We you know? We we did not last forty eight hours. No. No. I mean, I wouldn't I don't want Ella to run around being stressed. I also don't want me to clean up pee all day. No. No. No. No. But

Yeah. Yeah. JB was, a little We we we had gotten to the point within that forty eight hours that our bedroom door was closed. Mhmm. Both boys' bedroom's doors And their bathroom doors. Were closed, and the bathroom door, and the door to the office. Yeah. We were just boxing her into the dining room, kitchen, and living room. And she was still finding shit to pee on. I mean, I think here's what I think. I think Jamie started taking it personal because Ella has zero

fucks to give. She's always had zero fucks to give. And she was looking him in the eye while peeing on what and he would come in and go. She stared at me I while she did. Peed on my shoes. I I walked in the bedroom. She was in the bathroom. She saw me. She squatted down on that damn mat in the bathroom and just looked at me and just let it rip. And and he took that personally. I was like, you know, she's a cat, and Onyx doesn't let her hold the brain

cell. Okay? She's probably just gonna piss you off. I promise you. This is not personal. Well, that's true. Onyx does not share the brain cell with her. Look. I'm not sure. I think Onyx sets it down and walks away and forgets where she left the brain cell too sometimes. Yeah. Because oh, sometimes. So, yeah, Ella was a hot mess and in turn made me a hot mess. And Oh my god. I was like, yeah. I'll just see, I do the litter all the

litter box stuff. And when I start, like, getting in my feelings about it where I'm like, oh, I have to do litter box stuff. Then I do have to remind myself that JB feeds them without twice a day every day, and I only rarely come in and go, oh. Right? So I'm like, okay. It's I have to deal with the smell of cat pee and cat poo and clean you know, we've it's a fair distribution.

But by the end of that week, and I was like, I will put up with two fucking litters if it'll calm this fucking man down because I need him to take a breath. He is stressing me. I was like, I understood this was gonna be a bit of a transition period, and then I got worried that we should we were stressing around in a, like, a harmful way. But I just couldn't live with JB freaking out. I was like, nope. Nope. We'll just nope. It'd be fine. It'd be fine. It's fine. It's fine.

This is fine. Well, we we came up with a solution. We executed, said it. And we are basically back to where we were before we started. And and she's happy as a freaking clam. She's actually she makes a lot more noise when she feels like her one litter box that she has claimed is Yeah. Is not is not proper. Mhmm. Mhmm. And that's when then she, like, pees on the outside of it or she gets shifty around the house. Yeah. But I don't know. So anyway That's it. That's us. That's that. That's us.

That's the chaos that rules around here. Yep. And now I'm hoping that my oldest child who's, oh, god, about to be 20, Jesus. Cool. Yeah. Was calling just to shoot the shit. And then when I turn my take my phone off airplane, that everything's fine and there are no crises. Yeah. But I'm I'm that was? Yeah. I'm an anxious human being who is also a parent. Yeah. So I can conjure up all kinds of, scary scenarios. He's been going through it lately. Yeah. We got him to come home for fourth of July.

Yeah. Just for one night just to, like, get away from he was stuck in his head because of stuff going on there, and I was like, why don't you come home? Let me feed you, like, just Some heart some heartbreak happened. I was like, look. We are who we are. We're not putting on a show for you. We're not gonna be extra fun, but at least you're not, like, by yourself. And if you wander into a room, you have somebody there to talk

to. Mhmm. And you you got access to the car if you come home and gotta come home. So Yeah. So, alright. Are we, are we good? As good as we'll ever be. Who knows. Right? Who knows? So I guess we're gonna go. Alright. Thanks for being here Yeah. Especially to the bitter end. Mhmm. And we'll be back next week. Enjoyed y'all hanging out with us. Thank you. Jamie's birthday's on Saturday. Okay. Bye.