¶ Welcome to Season Two
Hey everybody , welcome back to season two of Lockdown to Legacy . I'm your host , Remy Jones , and from time to time I will be joined by my co-host , dj , who just so happens to also be my awesome sauce wife .
I also have a couple of close friends that are still incarcerated who will be regular contributors , and together we will bring you the real on dealing with the criminal justice system from multiple angles .
A lot of what we share will be real experiences from both currently and formerly incarcerated people like myself , along with current events that affect those impacted by the legal system . So thank you for tapping in , thank you for sticking with us from season one . Now let's get to it .
I would like to introduce my brother from another mother , mr Herman Floyd III . I told you applause , I'm going to be here for a little bit , not a long time , thank you . Thank you All right , man . Thanks for agreeing to be on the show . I figured you had a lot to offer , not only because you are an enlightened individual , but because we got history .
Oh yeah , you know , for those who don't know , I got in trouble as a juvenile and I ended up bringing some folks along with me , and he was one of them , and you you know we did Dumb shit and got in trouble for it . It was funny in a moment . I ain't even gonna lie . It's still funny to look back at it , even though I'm a changed man .
I just don't understand how the hell we got in that situation , man .
Well , all I know is I was at home making burritos when you pulled up on me and when it first transpired and I realized that I was the only one of age that was going down . I'm like man , I should have just ate my fucking burritos . But no , I did what any brother would do . You know what I'm saying . You called on me . I thought it was a problem .
So , hey , I showed up .
I appreciate it . I appreciate it . Even though it ended how it ended , I'd still appreciate it .
Yeah , not to say that what we did was right , but I mean that's what you do for the ones you love . You know what I'm saying . You do for the ones you love . You know what I'm saying . Regardless of what it is or who it is , you're going to defend the people that you love and care about .
Facts , Whether right or wrong , you'll get to the right or wrong .
Facts . All right , so you know , before we jump into any deep topics , man , I kind of wanted to have some fun with this whole Black History Month thing , you know , because I don't really know the demographics of my listeners for real , I know we got some in a lot of other countries .
I wanted to kind of just give a funny insight into what it was like coming up as a Black kid man , and one of the things I thought about was like we had our own little language , especially me and you like . But the funny part is that language a lot of times was like universal .
You go to a whole nother state across the country running to some black folks and say certain stuff and they know exactly what you're talking about . So I just wanted to sit here and just kind of spitball some of our black phrases and terms that we use growing up .
That was like universal or or some of the ones , because I know you got a lot of these , some of the ones that was like local akron , uh lingo .
Oh man , when it comes , when it comes to local akron lingo , it's a lot . It's a lot . I can go on for days .
I could be like e40 and write a whole book , yeah you know what somebody should because I know urban dictionary be fucking it up , but man dictionary be full of man .
I feel like urban dictionary . Urban dictionary is like Wikipedia .
Yeah , you could just go and write anything in there , ain't nobody fact checking , but like some of the terms . Ok , I'm going to spitball a few Some of the terms that I don't know if I don't even know if they outside of black America , but I know in black America I could go anywhere and be like man .
Why you come out here looking like who shot John and they're going to know exactly what I meant .
Or why you come up , why you come out here looking like who did it and why .
Right , Like you ain't even got to sit there and question like what a person mean , you already know . Like man , go take that off , Try again .
Or or go ahead , man , that haircut ain't ain't , you know it ain't cutting it . We say the term bobos . Oh yeah , bobos . Yeah , I don't care those non-name brand shoes non-name brand shoes .
You know , flat tires , beaters , I ? I mean , you could have on some J's and they could be some bobo's if they run down enough .
Or if they're the Mexican Jordans .
Right , right , right them joints that you can see the glue along the sides . You can't wear them on a hot day .
Right or not even that they can still be Jordans , but it's the Jordans that don't nobody buy , not even that they can still be Jordans , but it's the Jordans that don't nobody buy .
Oh yeah , If they ain't number Jordans , you might as well not even put them on .
Yeah , those are .
Mexican Jordans , team Jordans . Yeah , we don't do those .
Hey , no , no , no , I ain't going home . You know , the first set of team Jordans was fresh .
I had a I ain't even hit .
Oh yeah , it was um . First they came out with the um , with the white and black . It was both kind of corny . When they came out with the blue joints though it was fresh , I had to do See .
I ain't even going to lie when I seen I might have seen one or two pair of Team George over the years that I like , but I ain't going to front man , I've been so conditioned that I was like I ain't about to buy them . Man , people are going to be on my ass , man .
You got to step outside the box . You can't be a trend follower , you got to be a trendsetter .
My brother , I mean , you know I'm cool now , but we talk about like middle school , high school , days where I was like I ain't about to put them on , man , they going to eat my ass a lot . That goes into another one of our little terms , man , a roast session . You know Roast bake slang . I mean really any synonym for cooking .
So if you talking about roasting , getting fried , getting baked like that's , it's a joke session and the joke is on you . But I ain't gonna lie , man , I am very much appreciative for the roast sessions that we had in our lives , man , because kids in our days ain't got no thick skin .
We had roast sessions at home , over dinner , you know , oh yeah , amongst each other , like grandma being on it . You know , like grandma being on it . You know , oh , man , if you had an old uncle , oh man . Or your dad , anybody older . They gotta be older , though , cause they be having the jokes that be so damn funny .
But the lingo is from , you know , the 60s yeah , so it need remix , like a DJ Khaled song .
What you know about . Like your best friend man , you got your best friend . They be like hey , that's my ace , boom coon .
Oh yeah , that's fam , that's bro , that's the need .
Yeah , like you tell anybody that's your ace boom coon , they know that they can't mess with that person without you jumping in . It's a wrap , right , right , that's A1 from day one , for real . And I think it's hilarious because I always use that term and then at some point it just died out of my vocabulary .
But when I just thought of this like man , what's some terms we used to say coming up man it was like one of the first ones I thought of for real , and right along with it , like you said , when I said Ace Boone , coon , it was like , oh , that's family , like in the Black community growing up we had so much play family , fake family , pseudo family , yeah ,
listen .
But that's when the village mentality it ran . True , because all your mom's friends and all your dad's friends , they kids , was your first play cousins .
Right , right , I mean even like the term cousin or auntie and uncle pretty much , and I just found out that this is not exclusive to black people .
This is very much the case in like Indians , like from India and stuff , or Asians , but like pretty much anybody older than you that has any type of relation to your family , whether it be friendship or cousins or whatever , like that's your aunt and uncle , you know . And it made me think about it because I got an uncle . Well , I got a cousin .
He's my mom's first cousin , but obviously he's a lot older than us . Right , we went our whole lives calling this man uncle .
And right , we went our whole lives calling this man uncle .
Right , but it confused the hell out of us because , I mean , when you actually start getting older and you start understanding like okay , how is his kids related to us , then you know how is this ? Like wait a minute , who that's grandma's what ? Like you start trying to piece it together and all of a sudden it's like , oh , so he not my uncle .
Right , I had an aunt . The same way , bro , that is not my aunt , that's my cousin .
Hey , no , hey don't feel bad though , because , like my mom , like okay , so my mom's dad , he got different daughters , not just my mom . He got different daughters , not just my mom . But I've never really seen them around my mom .
So when I do see him now I'll be like what's up , cuz , and they'll correct me like I'm your auntie , my bad , my bad , like I didn't really see y'all like that . When I was coming up , y'all gave me cousin vibe , so I always called y'all cuz , like yeah , I mean we .
We grew up and it was just understood , like when I went to the suburbs
¶ Meeting Herman Floyd III
and I started someone like that's my cousin , and stuff . Like people had questions how that's your cousin , they start wanting to dissect the family tree . I'm like , mother , fuck , it don't matter , that's my , that's my cousin . Then the black community is understood though like oh , that's your cousin , that's your cousin .
When you , oh , that's my , that's my cousin . Then the black community is understood , though , like oh that's your cousin , that's your cousin . Oh , that's my people too . And we ain't about to say what side of the family who they related to like . Oh , that's my cousin too .
Oh , we family too hey , another thing I love about our diaspora , bro , is like we could know somebody , we , we could be on a hunch that we know somebody and I swear it seemed like all you to do is just say their name twice . Are you talking about little John John ? Oh man , I don't , I like yeah .
We got a lot of double time talk in our people .
Another thing that I just learned . I love learning , okay . So for the longest it used to always baffle me why people in our community would name their kids these outlandish and crazy names . But I got to the root of it . So , back when our ancestors were prisoners of war I do not like using the S word because that's not what it was .
It was prisoners of war . It not like using the s word because that's not what it was it was . It was prisoners of wars . It was a takeover , but they used to name their children the most outlandish things . That way , if they ever ran into them again , they would know that that was their child . Yeah right , so it makes sense . It's crazy , man .
It's crazy what's embedded in our DNA . We don't even know it for real . We do things without thinking why we do them , because I always wonder , like man .
Why is she why ?
that little girl named Machine Caché . Can you even spell that ? But now it makes sense .
Yeah , that's funny , because I'm always hating those names . I be hating those names , man .
Bruh , come on now . Come on now . Come on now . Come on now . My daughter is your niece . My baby got two middle names . You know what I'm saying ? Come on now .
Yeah , I mean , I ain't hating on nobody that got the name man , but I , man , I be looking at some names sometimes and I'm like why the fuck they do that to the little girl ? And it's always the little girls . The little dudes be having some messed up names too , but for the majority of it it be the little girls .
Man , man , listen what kills me is all the dashes and apostrophes and stuff .
You got hyphens , you got colons . No , I ain't going to keep on joking on my people , though , but at least I know why it is now .
That's what's up , right right , I'm telling you , bro , like , if I'm not doing schoolwork , I'm reading . If I'm not reading schoolwork , I'm reading . If I'm not reading , I'm doing music . If I'm not doing music , and I'm kicking it with my , kicking it with my kids , but I'm always reading , bro , like .
And it's crazy because , coming up through this indoctrinated education system that we have , I couldn't stay in school , especially when I got to like middle school and high school and I realized , like , bro , it's just the same thing over and over , it's just longer , the problems is getting longer , the directions is getting longer , but it's redundant .
But now I am a glutton for information . I love learning , love learning things , especially about us .
That's what's up . So now that you got them kids , man , I'm sure you always be telling them like man , cover up the hawk out .
Oh yeah , yeah , yeah , oh yeah . That hawk is definitely oh , yeah , yeah , because my man especially Dash , like he always trying to slide outside with just a windbreaker on . Boy , you know , all right , it's another one , the boonier in the ass .
So the Hulk is the wind , the cold , you know . For those who don't know , you go anywhere , I don't care . Like I said , man , these things , these terms , you can go out to California , you can go down to Louisiana , Texas . Come back up here to Ohio and tell somebody to hawk out and they go like , oh shit , man , Let me go home and grab some .
Grab a jacket or something . They know what you mean . It's colder than a devil's titty out there or a witch's titty , oh man .
Or it's hotter than a hooker in church .
I don't know . I be wondering , like , how did these things get so ingrained ? Like one person had to originate this right , one person had to originate this term . Everybody else looked at them like they was crazy , but somehow it spread like the COVID . It spread like the current covid , like the black plague . It got all the way around . I don't know how .
And now I'll be seeing even people over in other countries that be . You know , they like to get on our swag , our slang and stuff like that . So I'll be hearing in other countries . I'm like dang , like , where's the origin of this stuff ?
It'd be crazy how that works , because , like for us to be so frowned upon and looked down on , like we really set the status quo of what's popping with everybody . We decide on what's cool , what's not . We decide on everything , cool , what's not . We decide on everything , and everybody follow our lead .
It's like everybody want to be melanated until it's time to be melanated . The reason why I say melanated is because I do not like using misnomer . It's like black is a misnomer , it cannot be a color . And for all my quote unquote African-Americans , african Americans , all the African Americans , that's tuned in .
Please stop , stop going by that , because when you call yourself or address or Adhere to that name , african American , indian , black you are basically I'm not even going to say basically you are letting it be known that you are property of the US government , you are shadow property .
And then the term black the term black means civility or more truth , which means dead in the eyes of the law . Yeah , that's why I don't call myself .
That's why I don't go by black Boy you dropping jewels . I ain't call myself . That's why I don't go by black boy you dropping jewels , I ain't even . It's hard to follow right now . I'm trying to take notes , but you know what I appreciate the jewels man . You got any more little black phrases you want to put on here before we slide to the next segment ?
All right , Especially some acro ones , especially some acro ones . Oh yeah , flam , flam , oh you talking about like being ?
fly .
Huh , you talking about like being fly .
Yeah Flam , okay Flammy like being fly . Yeah Okay , flaring me like . Or O4 mad 30 day tags .
Bro , I ain't even hinted at what's that .
¶ Personal Stories and Shared History
It , it means to be a homosexual , oh oh , oh , oh .
Now I get the the connect and the dots .
Okay , yeah , all right , man , hold on . What's some more ? Everybody used to say tight . I still say tight to this day .
You still say tight that's , a universal , that's a universal . But I know like when I was like a teenager smoking weed , we used to call weed fruit Fruits or kill . Oh man , like bro . I got a sack of fruit Like let's go , let's match .
That ain't no fruit . That ain't no fruit . Is it some kill or is it some kill ?
Oh , some . Oh , what do you call it ? There's so many terms for weed . I don't even know which one of them is just coming out of Akron or which one of them is coming from where , but like if you had some bam .
Oh yeah , bammer .
Like , bro , weed not Like . Put that back in your pocket , bro .
Yeah , you need to say that back . Yeah , you need to put that side . Oh , you're right there . That was back in the 90s , some Bamber 90s .
Oh man , what else I mean ? You got the classics . You know , you got some fire Right . Everybody wanted to call weed drill , no matter what kind of weed it was at one time .
Right , that's because back then nobody really knew what they were . Smoking man . But you only had so many categories . You had three main categories you had dro , you had G13 . And you just had some regular fire . Nope , four Bam .
Definitely had some regular fire . Nope Four Bammer Definitely had some bam .
Man , I remember getting them compressed in that motherfucking ounces . Ha ha , man For a party , Like not as hard as that motherfucking state .
So that's dude , that's a reference right there we're going to have to touch on . But if you got some bam , you know you got some bam . Ain't no like let me smell it , let me like . When you get it and it look like like fiber cardboard , like compressed board and you gotta break it apart , it'd be sticky and stuff .
It got sticks and seeds and all that in it , like yeah , that's some bam . Bro , go on here , put that away , we not ?
your blunt . You can let the wrong person wrote a blunt . Now all you hearing is popping because they didn't roll seeds in . That .
Motherfucker went around everybody head hurt they got a stick sticking out the side . You got to try to hold your finger over the hole now you playing , now you playing the flute with your blunt .
Oh man , those days , though , because , like I don't know , when the whole , like cigarillo craze took over , it had , it was a rock I can remember when it , when it , when it really started like being cemented , that was like early 2000 , like 99 , going into like 2000 , because I remember , like you can get two for 10 , three for 15 .
And we was smoking the fat , the fat blunts , fat Phillies , fat Swishers , the Optimos White Owls .
Everybody wanted to have a Philly , everybody wanted to have a Dutch . I mean , that stuff is pretty much geographical , like it's certain states and being out of Akron , like we always wanted to , you know , either be with the Detroit cats or the or the Cali cats , and then you had you had the groups .
Later on you had the groups coming up out of New York and if you was running with them , dudes like Cam Cam used to come down here .
One of the rappers , that's why he got that song . I used to get it in Ohio and at the end of down and out he shot at the city . Y'all like he free buck .
He used to run with buck heavy . Yeah , it's a lot of like for real . If you local or native to Akron , it's a lot of history in there for real , a lot of history .
It's a lot of legends that came up out of here too , like I'm not mad that people tie lebron to the city . You know that's what the city known for , but we was known for a lot more before brown even picked up a basketball yeah , well , man dude that made the song was actually my cousin .
I can't remember his name , but that song , uh , in ohio , ohio , we get um , um , um that .
I know what you're talking about , that you know that oh , oh , a h I o . What the fuck was that ?
I can't remember . He was one of my older cousins , man man it's a hard girl .
Shout out to the hard girls it's on the tip of my mouth's . We're gonna get into a whole another conversation and it's gonna hit me all right let's go ahead and spin the bin , which is another akron saying and it's a rapper too from here yeah , shout out to spin and the whole Circle crew .
If y'all too young for that , then you know , just keep on going .
ETA free ghetto to plug . Shout out to my former group , the Kennel .
The Kennel , a bunch of cats I grew up under man . I shout out . Second , shout out to the Kenno man , particularly Skills Mage . You know them , my brothers . Yeah , I was your main event . I even know I did .
I did wear a lot of hats . I wore a lot of hats in the Kenno rap produced , engineered , mixed . Did some of the artwork at times . Book his shows .
Local history , right there , that's what I was talking about . All right , All right . So we're going to , like I said , for a second , we're going to spin the band man . We're going to get into the topic of the episode , right ?
So I actually wanted to to uh , discuss some of the scars that some of the , some of the little things remnants is left behind from growing up in a hood for real or from going to prison . So scars is more on the prison side . Remnants is from remnants from growing up in the hood .
When it comes to them remnants , I can trace them back to a time where they were really important .
And now that I've made it to another station in life and I got kids and whatever I find my I'm sorry if anybody listening that know me and know my kids and everything , no offense but I find myself getting annoyed with my kids sometimes because they don't know or they don't have that experience and have respect for the experiences that I went through because they
don't know . Like when my kids come in they be like man , I'm hungry , Ain't nothing to eat in the house . I be like we got cupboards and refrigerator full of food . We got everything you want , but you don't want to take the time to cook something or prepare something , or you ain't got that one thing you want . So you be like I ain't got nothing .
And I recall times where it was like we got four bags of you know heel bread , heels on the counter . Some of them might be moldy , but we're going to go ahead , we're going to toast all of them , we're going to scrape the mold off . So we're going to scrape the peanut butter jar until it's crystal clear man , listen , and we're going to put them together .
Or another example is like my kids being a house , the , let's say the Internet go out . It ain't nothing to do . Oh man , they , they wallowing around like ding , like they really dying because the wi-fi been out for 30 minutes hey , no , like , I'll be turning corners sometimes , man , and I'll be seeing kids outside playing .
You just don't know how happy that makes me inside , like I love seeing children outside playing , like because you rarely see kids outside playing . Now , man , you couldn't pay me to stay in the house when I was a kid , right ?
Like we had . The curfew was when the streetlights came on , and really it was . You know , my mom worked two jobs , so it was like all right , I'll be back y'all , because I'm going to go inside , my mom going to go to sleep , because I'm going to go inside , my mom is going to go to sleep and I'm going to come back outside . Sorry , mom .
Oh man , I love man , I love saying rest in peace to my pops Like I used to , especially my dad , like I would love telling stories about like yeah , you remember when such and such happened . Yeah , that was me , you can't do shit about it now , girl , but I still hit my mom with that sometimes .
It's cool seeing that stuff come out the light . Or like my mom was talking about something my nephew was doing . She was like man , I'm so glad you was a good kid . I was looking like who ? Oh , you still think my bad ? Because you know , from my mom's kids I'm the youngest and I'm the only boy , so I used to play on that so heavy .
I made my sisters look like demons . I'm sorry , but you know I'll be trying to tell my mom all the same stories like all right , this is me , or we did this , and she'd be like , oh , uh-huh , I remember somebody told me and I defended you . Yeah , I'm sorry not knowing .
You was like junior from um what was that movie ? Problem child the whole time the ringleader .
But I be having them same moments . Man , like I go up to Akron and just roll down , like sometimes I just roll down random streets . I used to be on when I was a kid and I see some kids Like one time I seen some kids playing curveball . I stop the car Like let me in .
Hey , I literally did that before too . I was supposed to be going to the grocery store . I pulled over . I'm like all right . So look , how's y'all scoring this ? All right , the devil strip , that's a point . The sidewalk is two points . The yard , that's five . Over the car again . Over the car again .
I'm like , yeah , I don't know what y'all doing , Y'all don't know over the car , like you can hit . You can hit both sides twice , man , you can get it going and you better not .
Don't touch my ball .
If it's still going , don't touch it yeah , so I I'm not sure , man , but I believe that curveball is like the equivalent of stickball up in New York yeah see , I ain't never .
I ain't never seen nobody play stickball . I ain't never seen nobody play stickball . I ain't never seen nobody play handball until I was a freshman . But yeah , curveball , it gotta be the equivalent of that yeah , that's a classic man .
That is a classic nostalgic thing just to be thinking about playing curveball man , I have a whole curveball tournament right now .
The one dollar everything championship we used to terrorize people .
That was like I have a whole curveball tournament , right now the $1,000 air game Championship . We used to terrorize people that was new to the community or guests in the community . I remember having some cousins . They was real into playing basketball . This was before , actually . I was big into playing basketball so I had a basketball .
That baby had all types of knots and titties on it from playing curveball Right . But they came over with a brand new indoor basketball . I was like that and the first time they see me throw that thing across the street , hit the curve . They about lost it , man .
Right street , hit the curb and they about lost it .
Man right , probably ain't had no understanding what you was doing . Like I'm talking about brand new leather indoor basketball and I'm just trying to hit the curb , make it bounce back and forth . It's all types of misshapen . By the time they leave , I'm like , all right , come back and spend the night again , all right .
So all right , we got them things that we grew up on , the remnants from growing up in the hood . Man , a lot of those are valuable and they were given to us to be valuable . I know that we used to . We were always told if the police come to the door , don't answer the door .
Hell , no Shit . If your parents ain't home , don't answer that door for nobody that ain't family .
I mean sometimes not for people , that is family . Exactly , exactly .
We was last key kids .
We was last key kids and I learned growing up that that's not a normal thing , at least in other people's lives . But where I'm from that was normal , like if you wasn't a last key kid . That was abnormal .
Right , but that was synonymous with us 80s babies . Man Like we are , we come from one of the last real generations . We was one of the last generations of kids to still play outside . We got all the new technology first . We grew up with the technology , yeah .
I mean , I don't think it's anybody any other generation that can say like when it comes to technology they experience as much as us . Because growing up , you know , we was exposed to our older , like our parents , our aunts and uncles and stuff . So I grew up with exposure to 8-tracks , to , you know , tape players , to record players , to CDs .
You know computer-wise . We told them all the little green screen on the computer playing Frogger .
The ones that used to be in the classroom . Turn it on .
The bubble . Apple TVs , floppy disks , zip disks . The CD-ROM used to come in the cereal .
Oh man them .
America Online CDs clutch when people start having computers at home Dollar you know , picking up the phone and hearing that scrambly sound man , listen you know , and that's just like being a last-key kid man and having all that . It was never nothing to do , like for real .
Like to go home and get on the internet for real was like the last thing we wanted to do . We had it . Yeah , we wanted to be outside . We would go like we used to live down near a ravine . I was in that ravine hours out of every day .
If I couldn't be found , they'd just go to the edge of the ravine and yell my name , have a whole adventure in your neighborhood . My mom would tell you that people you know she worked at the hospital and people would come tell her oh , I just seen your son in Cuyahoga Falls . We don't live in Cuyahoga Falls , you ain't seen my son .
Yeah , he was on the bike with some little boy on the pegs , and then by the time she get home I'll be at home chilling , making a burrito . You know , grew up off them little frozen burritos and Hot Pockets and stuff .
Man Like , oh , I've been here all day , man , and it's hard to think I'm lying for real , because we talking about a single speed bicycle , a BMX bike , 30 miles away , 20 miles away .
It's kind of cringy when you think back on it because the way we used to travel and be so far away from home with no real kid , like we didn't have cell phones or none back then you was lucky if you had a pager , lucky if you had a pager , but still , even then , right you , you 15 , 20 , 20 miles away from the crib if anything happened it's ov , because
I'm not . I know I done been in some situations as a kid to where I think back like man , he wasn't supposed to make it out of that .
Yeah I , I have been man . I have been out of town on my BMX bicycle so many times and I remember getting a flat on my bike and stealing one of them little Razor scooters , and trying to put my bike on the handlebars to get home . Like man , we was wild man .
This is about to sound pretty messed up , but like where I grew up up . But like when I grew up at . Like I grew up on Beachwood , like Beachwood , like first we stayed on Madison , then we moved to Beach . No , first it was Homer , then it was Madison , then it was Beachwood , then it was by Street , just like Early to mid 90s .
So it'd be a clique of us , it'd be like seven or eight of us . Somebody ain't got no bike man . We , going right to Forest Lodge , right by St Sebastian , catch one of them little skims , one of them people that ain't our skim folk laughing bop , bop bop , bop , bop , bop , bop , bop .
You know this is so messed up , but like the place I used to always go to give my little cousin a bike , because I'm like man I ain't putting you on the pegs today , I ain't putting you on the handlebars today , like we would go up to the Walgreens on Portage Path Because it's right there at the edge of the hood , where you know where the suburbs , kind of
in the hood , meet . So like all the well-off kids I call them that all the well-off kids would come up there and they just drop their bikes right in front of the door and go in Walgreens get some candy , get some juice , whatever .
And I'd be like bro get that 18 speed .
Get that 24 speed .
We used to go after the dinos .
Man , I remember seeing one of them , bikes , with the springs on it for the first time . Oh yeah , you got the gyroscope . But okay , regroup again . We're going to talk about these scars now , because we talked about these remnants , man , but a lot of these remnants was valuable . You ain't talked to the police , you didn't answer the door for the police .
We , you know , we had a lot of this sense of of family . Everybody was your cousin , you know . You looked out for your cousin . Your cousin got a fight . Why you here , why you ain't out there with him ?
You know right , and it taught me a lot of lessons in life that stuck with me even to this day , now that I'm damn near 40 , um , but so then I went to prison . Man , I went to prison and them same ideals that we had in the street kind of don't apply in prison .
I mean you can , like it's certain people , if you know them , you stick together and stuff like that . But for the most part when you get to prison you
¶ Language and Cultural Identity
really got to choose your lot . For real , it's like a fresh slate , like hitting the reset button on the video game . Don't come in with that . Who you running with in here ?
You know right , and I mean , I ain't gonna lie , man , a lot of dudes would have to just take a look at the politics and see who had the dominant position before they chose up , because if you just run around with the dudes from your neighborhood you might get yourself in some shit , mm-hmm , like , notably , you know , I grew up in Akron .
I also grew up out of town in Virginia . So when I got to prison in Ohio , they like where you from ? If the first thing out of my mouth was Akron , I'm instantly in some beef , because it's a beef between Akron and Cleveland , you know , right .
So you , I'm from Virginia , and that put me by myself , which is also a dangerous spot to be , but at least it put me in control over how I get to move , cause man .
But I know some of the scars that I was wanting to talk about with prison man was , um , you know , like , like it's guys that come out with PTSD and that's such a random not random , but it's such an overused term , you know , ptsd , that people just kind of dismiss it like , yeah , whatever , he messed up and they just let it go .
Most notably , it's associated with people that go to war . But one of the things I often say is that when a judge and a prosecutor send you to prison , they don't think about where they're sending you to and they don't think about who you are . They really don't . They don't think about who you are , they really don't .
They don't think about like if you're a shy , timid person that just had happened to get into a bad situation . All they do is look at your crime , like , oh , you got a fist fight with somebody , they fell and hit their head on the curb . Oh well , that's murder .
Let's go ahead and send you over to mansfield , let's send you to Belmont , you know , and these , like those two prisons I just named , we like to call them gladiator camps . Old Mansfield , oh yeah , especially Belmont . Old Mansfield , for those who don't know , is where they shot the movie Shawshank Redemption .
So if you need a visual , please go watch that movie and then you'll understand . But yeah , belmont , man , like if you went down to Belmont and you weren't accustomed to fighting and defending yourself .
You better learn quick , because the moment you let something happen to you , somebody steals something from you , somebody you know punk you or whatever it's how they say it in prison and you don't address it , everybody putting a target on you .
You better not have anything worth having because somebody coming to get it , because they know you're not going to fight back .
Oh yeah , box constantly getting kicked .
Yeah , like they don't care about if you put a lock on your locker box . They don't care if you lock your door , like it's a way we getting that don't go to child , don't , don't go on a visit , you don't come back . Everything going there , strip your sheets if they cleaner than theirs , like .
So , um , when I talk about ptsd and having to go through these experiences , like a lot of times you had to become something worse to make it back to home , to be in a better place , and a lot of people can't compartmentalize that and come back unscathed .
You know , right , I mean , I got a couple dudes for real who came home and just really couldn't handle it . Everybody moving around them felt like everybody was looking at them . They felt like everybody knew they was a felon and was judging them .
Um , you know and that's one of the things I wanted to say is like there's a psychological and emotional scar that comes out of doing especially a lengthy prison sentence , because you start thinking if you deserve to go home , you start thinking if you are worthy to be successful , regardless of your work ethic , regardless of your ambition , you start .
What do they call that ? There's a thing like when you just doubt your imposter syndrome . That's what it is imposter syndrome where you just don't believe you're worthy of the position that you got or the position you want .
You know , and I always wondered like if being a felon impact how some of these formerly incarcerated people are willing to aim high because the system conditions us .
After becoming a felon , they tell you relentlessly oh man , you're going to have to check the box and beg for a job , you're going to have to apply for housing , you're going to have to disclose you're a felon and they might not accept you .
But these are also the things that you can go back to prison for not having housing and employment Right , sort of things that you could go back to prison for not having housing and job employment right . Um , so then once you get told no , once or twice , you know a lot of people stop .
They like , man , I'm gonna go get a girlfriend who got a place or I'm gonna go . You know I'm gonna go back to hustling , and that's because in the streets it's one thing to be told no in the streets I can be told a million times no in the streets and I'm going to keep on getting it . You know , but when you're trying to change your life .
You're trying to live a way that nobody you know has lived before , on the straight and narrow , you know , and you get your first or second no , you start thinking like people looking down on you . Your whole life is less than you know . You don't deserve to have a spot at this place or that place and so you stop trying .
That is a prison scar and I've realized that in my specific life man trying to help people , I realized that it's not about opportunities and it's not about skills or work ethic or anything like that . It's about vision . I can give you opportunities , I can give you skills . What I cannot give you is vision .
If you can't see yourself succeeding , if you can't see yourself succeeding , if you can't see yourself having that , you're not going to Exactly and that's because we was conditioned that way .
Yeah , but you being one of them , you didn't fall victim to that , me myself included . I don't feel like I fit into that either , because , yeah , I got an F on my record but that still hasn't stopped me from doing what I want to do move how I want to move . My resume is impressive as hell .
I've never let me go into prison Stop me from getting , if I wanted a job , ain't nobody , ain't nobody sell me better than myself . There has not been a job that I've went out for . And they're like oh yeah , you got that felony Duh , duh , duh , duh , duh . Like , oh , like , cause I ? Because I already go in .
First of all , I believe in manifest and I already go in Like I got it . I got it already . But I can't speak for everybody else , but I know with me personally , I've never let my felonies become a crutch , because those bumps in my road
¶ The Importance of Resilience and Community
from back then they don't define me , they don't define who I am . Everybody make mistakes . Some people got caught , some people didn't , but ain't nobody perfect . But I'm not about to let . I'm not about to let a negative remark on this invisible piece of paper of my life delegate how I move out here .
Yeah , and you know , just to just to tie this around , bring it full circle , you know we talked about some of them remnants from growing up . We talked about roast sessions , stuff like that . That's how we were prepared for the world inside the house , we roasted each other . You had to have thick skin .
You couldn't go out to the world soft and he said this about me , you know . So it gave you confidence , it gave you the tools to not just fold and , you know , shrink back when stuff happened to you Right . And when it came to being older , you in the streets , like somebody , say , no , you're like man , forget you , like I don't get it .
So you went and got it . Well , now I think there's a problem where when you think , okay , I got to change my life , you think it has to be a very distinct disconnect where your life is now separate from everything else , like this new life can't have nothing to do with everything from the past . And I'll be like man , bullshit .
I call bullshit on that because I tell people all the time , man , a lot of the opportunities I got , I use skills that I learned in the street or , you know , in the hood to get them Right . Like same thing .
The first part of being a gangster , the first part of being a gangster , the first part of being in the streets , is like you gotta have a fucking mentality . I'm sure my listeners heard me say that before . You gotta have a fucking mentality . So if so-and-so ain't give you no job , you gonna get it by any means .
If it ain't no food in the house , you ain't gonna sit there and be like it ain't no food and wait for somebody to come save you and cook you a meal . You don't go get it . You got to fucking tell them .
So now that you legit don't be thinking oh man , I'm going to apply at this one place and I'm going to go in there groveling and begging , please give me a job , please . Oh no , please don't . I hope they don't ask about my felony . And then , when they ask about it , you shrink down and deflate like no .
First thing , I would tell people when I walked in like y'all got felonies . If we can't get past that , I don't want to waste your time . Man , I'm gonna get up out of here , right ? The confidence of saying that they , like they , ain't got nothing to hang over my head . No more , right , you know like what can they ?
that lightweight goes back into what I was saying prior , when I was like , hey , nobody sell me better than me , right ?
Like all the times in the hood when we had to have them roast sessions . You know you , you battle , rapping , whatever . You basically selling yourself , trying to put yourself to appear better than everybody else , which is the same thing you do in a job interview .
To appear better than everybody else , which is the same thing you do in a job interview , right , when you trying to holler at girls at the mall or the playground , you know you selling yourself , trying to set yourself ahead of other people . You know , when you beating on the table , rapping in , in , in , uh in the lunchroom , whatever it is .
When you dress into impress in school , you got your new kicks , you ironed up your clothes like . You know you flam , you're selling yourself . So don't sell yourself short . Now that you've said you was going to change your life and do right . The thing is now you've learned that there's different avenues in which you should apply that .
You know there's more opportunities . It's not just low stakes .
Now you have to sell yourself on a higher level , which is the case , but don't go in there thinking that because you have to be on a higher level , you have to go in there begging a higher level , you have to go in there begging or , like you said earlier , that now that you're trying to get to this new station in life , everything that was you is no
longer a part of you .
Like you said , you call bullshit on that .
Yeah , I remember . So I remember when I went back to the first truck and company I was at and I became a manager and the first time somebody called in yelling and irate and this and that , and I just totally shut them down Like hey , man , first you're going to change your tone , I didn't yell nothing , like first , you're going to change your tone .
And I just looked to the side and everybody in the room was like fuck , he just say , and dude , like I don't think he caught it , and he just went to go back into his tirade and I was like no , you're gonna change your tone when you talking to me , bro . And next thing , you know , he came like man , my , am I bad ?
I was just saying like yeah , okay , yeah , what you were saying , right , like that's a skill that I developed in the streets , that's a skill I developed in prison . So to take it into a corporate setting and be like hey , no , that's not going to fly . So you just got to be able to be like yo , these are valuable skills that I have throughout life .
They may have got you in a bad situation because you aimed them at the wrong stuff , but they're valuable skills that some people on the other side of the tracks don't have A lot of people on the other side of the tracks don't have Right right , for the most part I'm able to say that a lot of the stuff that I've been through helps me do life , you know
right , I feel the same way and I gotta say like , like , sometimes you gotta go through shit to grow through shit , and I don't look at things that I've been through in a negative light .
They might have been negative in that moment , but again , they help mold me into the person that I am today , because I look at everything as a learning experience or a life lesson . Just like everybody that I encounter , I look at people like this . Everybody that I meet while I'm here in this room , I'm meeting for a reason .
It's not up to chance or circumstance . Everybody that I encounter is either a blessing , a lesson , or both , and it's up to me to use my discernment to see what I'm going to take from it .
That's one of the best qualities you can develop in life is to be able to learn from every situation . You can learn from everybody . I don't care if they're a drunk hobo in the street . I done got some real gems . Some real gems from dudes that literally would drink and pass out on the sidewalk .
And sometimes those be some of the most wisest people . But I look at it like this the reason I don't look at their station in life . I look at how did you acquire this knowledge ? What have you seen ? What have you been through ?
Not just to get you to this point , to where you like , hey , fuck it , it is what it is , but still have that strong sense of that mental , that mentality , that wisdom to be able to drop gems on everybody . You know what I call that , bro .
What's that ?
When I encounter people like that , hold on , let me backtrack a little bit . One thing that I've learned to do is , even if it's something that I've learned to do is , even if it's something that I don't agree with or it might go against something that I believe , or I even think is right , instead of discrediting somebody , why did they come to that conclusion ?
Why did they come to that ? I call it broken clocks Because no matter how many times a day that clock displays the wrong time , it's always right twice a day . So that's how I approach every situation . That's how I approach it , even if I don't agree with it , because it's all , even with a lie , there's always some truth in a lie .
So when I encounter people now I'll be like man , fuck this motherfucker talking about , because somebody could be dropping the dopest of gems and a shallow person , a meager-minded person , it'll go right over their head Because they're looking at that person's exterior , or what they don't have versus what they have in that moment .
But it's always something you can learn from somebody , man , because they got a whole life of experiences and I'm living proof of what you can do , what you can be . I tell stories from my own life and it sounds like I'm living proof of what you can do , what you can be .
I tell stories from my own life and it sounds like I'm telling somebody else's stories , like if I was on the street they'd be like bro , you cappin' . And it's the same way on the other side , like I can meet anybody and they could have been anywhere before they was here . They could have been doing anything before they was here doing this .
They got a whole treasure trove of lessons and they ain't always got to be something deep and profound for real , like I don't know who it was that taught me the lesson . One of my biggest lessons that I teach other people , man , is make them respect your no and teach people how to deal with you . I don't know who taught me that .
I don't know who taught me that I need you to rewind that . Say that again .
Make people respect your no and teach them how to deal with you . So the idea behind that is people love you . Yes , hey , man , can you do this for me ? Can I have this ? Can you take me there ? So the idea behind that is people love you , yes , you know . Hey , man , can you do this for me ? Can I have this ? Can you take me there ? Can you help me ?
Can you help me ? And you're like , yeah , yeah , I got you . Yeah , I got you . But the first time you say no , they're like damn , bro , for real , you acting stink , you acting funny , like that man , like you know , I got you . If it was me , like no , we ain't going to do none of that . And I don't , I don't explain myself .
I don't be like no , cause I got to do this , no , cause I got this thing going . Like ain't no , justifying it , like no , I can't even , I can't even help you this time , bro , and that's where it's going to stay and they're going to respect it . And then you're going to teach people how to deal with you .
I know that I learned that lesson going to prison because we just talked about it . When you come into prison , it's easy to let people in your circle and once you attach yourself to certain circles or certain people , their stained reputation becomes your stained reputation , right ? So always tell people right off the bat make people respect you .
I mean , teach people how to deal with you and I ain't talking about like if you a complicated person or nothing like that , but if you're always the person that's going to show up , you know you always going to show up . Bail somebody out of something . You always gonna loan some money .
You always gonna be the person that cleans up after everybody make a mess . They gonna keep making a mess because they know you gonna clean it up . They gonna keep coming to you like yo hey , man , I got this . I got myself in this fucked up situation , bro , can you bail me out ? Like , yeah , I got you , bro , you gonna .
I got myself in this fucked up situation , bro , can you bail me out ? Like , yeah , I got you . Bro . You're going to be that person , you know . And if you don't teach them how to deal with you up front , when you change later , it's going to be a problem . Like man , you act a brand new one . Like man , bro , like what you want . Now it's a problem .
Now they want to beef with you because you never said no before you never , you know why . Well , you ain't gonna clean this up like , oh , you ain't gonna take care . No , now you moving new . Now , now , everybody that you met got a problem with you . You will fall out with your mama over something like that .
Man , listen , but if you that person that's like up front , like bro , I got this , but you're going to have to get it next time . Or I got this , but this ain't going to be no regular thing , like they know , like all right , cool . So when you come , when they come back next time , you be like bro , like you did that shit .
Again , I ain't got you this time , man , you got to figure it out . Ain't going to be no argument , ain't going to be no nothing . All right , bro , thanks , they're going to go and figure it out , because what would they do if you wasn't there ?
Exactly , exactly , you know , and I've actually coached people a lot on those two things right there and if you can get those two things down , man , your life would be so much better if you , if you ain't got it already . It sounds like some big , profound thing that I came up with , but really it's not right because everybody got it in them .
It's just a lot of people don't . A lot of people don't display it or bring it out or stare to . They don't have that courage within themselves .
I've seen with my own eyes . People agree to shit that they don't want to do , right , they got it written all over them . They don't want to do it but they don't want to say no . They don't want to go help that person out of the same shit . They done been in five times but they don't do it because they don't want to say no , right .
That's that loyalty to a fault . Now I will say this Make them respect your no and teach them how to deal with you . It's something that you must do ASAP when you come home from prison . If you're trying to change your life . Mm-hmm , asap , that got to be the first thing you do when people reach out to you , because that's always what they love to do .
They don't want to reach out to you while you're blocked up . Ain't nobody going to write . Ain't nobody going to put money on your account . So you can call . It'll be very few people , but when you touch down , they're going to show up at your mama's house . Hey , boy , I heard you was out .
That's your moment , right there , to teach them how we about to go on forward Like I had homies bro , hey , let's go over here and kick it
¶ Reflections on Growing Up in the Hood
. Cool , I'm going to drive my car . Oh , hop in Hell . No , I know what you got in the car . I don't know for sure , but I know what you got in the car . I don't know for sure , but I know something . I'm cool . Why just hop in your car ? Hell , nah , cause I know what you got in your pockets .
And when you set that boundary , man , ain't nobody gonna think you acting funny ? No more . When you , when you hop in the car , though , and you go along with it , and then shit go bad , and then you wanna be like man , then you want to be like man . You know that shores why you don't take out for it . Uh , I don't know , we ain't .
Anybody gets that point Right , and you're going to lose people behind that . I promise you , you're going to lose people , especially if you uh , setting that you know . Setting that you know , setting that boundary from people that you've had in your life already .
You're going to lose people but I feel like anybody that's on anybody , that's anybody that you lose . They wasn't there for the long run anyways .
No no , they wasn't . And you're going to gain so much more in life than you lose from them . People leaving , you know . And then I you're going to gain so much more in life than you lose from them . People leaving , you know . And then I got one more lesson , one more jewel I'm going to drop right here , and that is everybody is supposed to be used .
So when I hear people talking like oh , they just want to use me . No , dummy , you're supposed to be used . You're not supposed to be misused . So make sure you make them respect you . No , make sure you make them respect your boundaries . Teach them how to deal with you , because if I can't use you , I don't want you in my life .
Flat out , I use motherfuckers left and right . I ain't even go front and I'm there to be used in return .
But when you're saying that , though , that might go over some people's head because they're probably looking at it in a negative aspect , but that's not even what it is .
That's not the case at all . See . So when I say use people right , I'm not saying like a person always calling and asking you for money , oh , they just using you . No , I'm not saying that . But I'm saying if I got a friend , I don't even care if we talk to each other every three months .
If I know I can call you when I got some deep emotional shit that's weighing on me and you're going to be a good ear to listen and you're going to give me some sound advice , then that's what I use you for . That's important . That is a very important thing that you supply in my life . Now I better be supplying something in return .
You got to be able to use me too , or you know it's a useless situation . But everybody and I know some people that be like man you act different with them than you act with me .
Yeah , it's supposed to be that way right , because everybody's relationship ain't the same with everybody yeah .
So when I keep my conversation in a jokey , jovial manner with you , that's because that's what you supply in my life . That's what we do . We kick it and bullshit . When I go to somebody else , when I ask them for financial advice , don't be like but why you ain't ask me , I got you . No , that's not the role you play in my life , bro .
When I call somebody and I'm like , hey man , I need to borrow some money , I know it's because I respect that person enough and I got a good enough name in they book that they gonna be like yeah , I got you , and I bet you I pay that shit back . Ain't no question . You know like you gotta have certain people for certain tasks be used , be useful .
Only keep people in your life that you can use in return , because if every time somebody call you you ain't even got to answer the phone to know it's some bullshit , damn this motherfucker calling me again , bro , why you keep letting that motherfucker call you .
Right , why you keep answering , why you keep surrounding yourself around that motherfucker .
Bro , like if you ain't even got to answer the phone to know it's some bullshit . Stop letting that person call on you . If you learn that's three jewels right there . If you learn them three lessons , I don't care if you've been to the joint , I don't care if you haven't , I don't care what your station in life is .
If you learn them three lessons , your life's going to improve . Straight like that . I'm going to close the book with that one man . that's the end of the episode the lockdown to legacy podcast is proud to be a part of the Buzzsprout Podcast Community Network . Audio engineering is done by our very own Remy Jones .
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