¶ Discussing Games Master and Nostalgic TV
Living with Maidalee .
Hello and welcome to Living with Maidalee . This is a nostalgic TV based podcast . This is series 10 . No , it's not . It's episode 10 of series 5 . If I ask you series 10 , there's a long way to go . My name's Andrew and I'm joined by Liam in his CD Travel Tavern .
So did little grief hole . Here I am .
Yeah , yeah , series 10 . I said that I massively got that wrong , didn't I ? Yeah , I don't know if we'll make it that long . First thing , first thing's . Third Apologies for no midweek last week , if you listen to this , because I don't know , we just didn't really get time , did we ? I think , basically .
Well , yeah , we could have recorded it , but we decided I know that's what it was we put episode out late .
Episode went out a little bit late , yeah , because I couldn't get the laptop to get it done , but then You'd be better at arches . Yeah , yeah , and also we . I don't know , it might go in for a bit every two weeks . It's nice for me to get a bit more stuff to read out . So yeah , partly by design and partly by accident , but here we are . This is it .
You've got to live with it . And if you've got this far . If you're listening to this , you've already missed it now , so just get on with it .
Yeah , just get on with it . It's not my own . Nobody fucking cares about it . Christ Right . So this is Games Master , let's get started . Game Master .
Games Master is . We've recorded this bit a couple of times because I keep getting my facts mixed up . But Games Master , or Master , as some people would say , you would say Master , wouldn't you ?
I'd say Master , master , master is what I'm trying to be funny , master the Master . Once I watched a Well , I didn't watch a porn film . That's a lie , someone . Do you know when you're at a kid's house Not , this sounds awful .
No , when you're young and you're at a kid's house , I'm going to rephrase this when you're younger and you're at a kid's house , I'm like , oh , let's talk at your dad's porn . You know what I mean and I'm going to put it in with this guy having sex with this woman saying I am the Master , as if we're doing it and you say it all the time at school .
Anyway , Keep it legal , keep it consensual , keep it clean , yeah . So , yeah , it had seven series Games Master Dominic Diamond , who this is from series one , episode three , we're going to look at today . By the way , he was a presenter . He did the first two series and then he left .
The reason was that he had some kind of disputes with the makers , but the reason they told you on the show was that his antiburn is kitchen down and it burnt him alive on his oil rig .
Well , I've read into this , I'm going to bring this up at Ember . Well , you mentioned it , I've heard . Well , I read that you left because he wasn't happy with McDonald's being sponsored of the show .
Yeah , yeah , yeah , that's true . That's not the reason . Yeah , obviously , patrick Moore is the Games Master , so we'll get to that as he comes in , and he was replaced towards the end of its run by Sir Trevor McDonald .
I've just read that because I'm not looked at the wickedness , and I've literally just read that . Did you know who was supposed to be playing Sir Patrick Moore before ? Sir Patrick Moore as the Games Master ?
Who would it be ? Would be , I don't know . It's got to be somebody kind of a sciency . What is his name ? Bobby Ball .
No , not Bobby Ball , nicholas Parsons .
Oh right , yeah , I could see that . I could see that Well this is weird .
I didn't get it because the facial distortion techniques didn't work properly on his face , so they got Patrick in what he is undistortable yeah , he is . You can't mess with his face . But if I put it through his face I could just come back exactly the same .
Putting through a Snapchat filter and he's just still in , whatever it is . Yeah , right , so I think we'll do a bit of the kind of Some of the other stuff afterwards . Let's get into the episode , I think . So I don't know how long we're going to get out of this , because it's only actually a 23-minute episode .
Yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah , but the first thing that we see is it's filmed in Looks like an old church , I would say . Really weird lighting , camera angles , the sound is appalling .
Yeah .
I mean Dominic Gaiman is one of those people who's so Scottish it's quite hard to understand . At times I thought that it's almost like another language , because he talks fast as well , doesn't he ?
So you do struggle .
I don't know what he said there , basically , well , he drops in random descriptive words where his tone and his pace is all wrong . A few bits had to rewind it because I thought what on earth he said there ?
You think that's why they don't get much work ? Well , it does get a lot of work that's really harsh , but you know what I mean .
He's kind of quite a fiery character , isn't he ?
He's a really fiery character . I've got something to talk about later on , deliberately .
So I think he's just one of the easy kind of Just going to do what he's going to do . I don't remember him looking like this .
by the way , on this episode he's got long hair . I always remember him having short hair . I can't remember him looking like this .
Well , I'm going to send you , and obviously the audience won't get this . This happened last time , didn't it ?
Matthew Kelly , is this another one of your comparisons ?
Yeah , so this is Dominic Diamond , as he appears . This should be coming through now and this is who I'm certain they've based him on . They were nagging at me all the way through . Oh yeah , so you've seen that . So that's who he is . Now it looks actually a little bit like the actor what's his name out of the Leon Herring , but anyway , that's not the one .
This is who I think they've based him on and definitely has him on , by the way . What do you mean ?
they based him on his Ha ha , ha , ha , ha , ha ha ha . I did not expect . Can you please explain what this is so ?
for anyone who has ever used to watch the animation , like kind of stop motion version of Wind and the Willows , mr Badger is . He's got like a cravat . What do you mean they ?
based him on . Mr Badger is a real person , don't they ?
Honestly and truthfully .
It's not an animation .
I'm not saying this like to to get a . I was thinking who is he trying to look like ? He had a hair and everything . I mean maybe it's the lighting that makes him look black and white . I think genuinely they think inspiration from Mr Badger . So that's who .
If for anyone else who watches it thinks who is he looks like , I'll tell you now so you don't have to go all the way through like I did , thinking who was it ?
Mr Badger .
So the first thing that we see , obviously we see Patrick Moore as a games master . We get a little bit of his just telling us who he is and what he's about . I suppose this is early days , series one , episode three , and he introduces the first challenge , and I'll let Patrick explain what the challenge is .
¶ Mega Man 2 Challenge and Commentary
Greetings . So once again you've tuned in to pit your wits against one of my little challenges . You really are a class for punishment , aren't you ? Lifting us off tonight is a young superhero by the name of Neger man 2 . Your task is to guide him through the satanic heatman level in under three minutes without losing a life .
For ultimate success you'll need to leap from block to block , over Milton Lava , avoiding all manner of metallic villains , negotiate secret chambers where blocks are there at random and finally polish off heatman himself at those troublesome end of level . Guardian , let's hope this little challenge won't be too hot for you there .
No , yeah , and apologies , by the way , we did get a comment on some of the sound quality on the clips . It just depends like we . Sometimes there's not much we can do . If there's a lot of background noise , there's probably some really fancy editing software , but we don't have it , I'm afraid . So .
This one in particular is quite a fuzzy thing . I think this is one of the reasons why it's quite hard to understand Dominic Diamond , because it's obviously taken from a VHS innit .
Yeah , and I'm gonna play now . So the guy who comes on to do it . Well , I'll let you see if you can decide for his name . In fact , his name's alright , but listen to this as a block of audio . From Dominic Diamond , from Mr Dominic Badger Diamond . Listen to this .
Trying to keep cool amid the heat as our very own Mega man , all the way from the cherry waste of Muswell Hill . Please give a succulent Games Master . Welcome to Nick Kerncroll .
I will laugh at that . Actually give him a succulent welcome .
I know he's kind of deliberately odd to use the words , but because he's so broad Scottish and his sound quality is so bad , you're not following it . It's like what did he just say ?
I'm like I remember that really famous gif not gif , sorry the really famous video of that guy . I was having a succulent meal , you know what he's getting arrested . That's brilliant , brilliant .
Yeah , brilliant , I wrote down Dominic Hat Hair , so it must have been another shot where his hair seems to be like a one solid piece .
This guy called Nick nice guy . This kid , that's a cool customer , I thought yeah .
I thought , so . Can you ?
imagine him in an American kind of school , I don't know , something like where he's not . He wouldn't be a lead character , but I can imagine him being one of the friends .
I think he'd be the every man you're like , the guy you like you go to and like say , hey , man , my girlfriend's done me , come on , let's go to the park , let's go skateboarding dude ?
yeah , but he's Nick Kerncroft , I think . I think that's what he said Kerncroft , yeah , so he's got this Mega man challenge to do . He's got to get through a level in three minutes .
Did you ever have Mega man ?
it's Mega man 2 . This , by the way did you ever have Mega man 2 ? I played it . I don't think I ever owned it , I didn't know .
Well , come on some later that I did have . I might go into a bit .
The format is . So he's going to do his challenge . Dom goes to another kind of weird . He's kind of up in a parapet or he's raised up with a weird camera angle from below and he gets .
For each challenge he gets a different kind of someone who works at Games Magazine basically stood with him to co-commentate this first one is Julian Giaz Rignell , and I tell you what he absolutely thinks is it , don't I ?
I love these people . They're all absolutely non-descript people who are just right for Games Magazine . So all seem to think , well , I love this guy , he needs to do right now . It's like you know what I mean .
Oh , I'm the coolest guy in the room and I'll tell you he's got a leather jacket on . He actually looks a tiny bit . It's the bad lighting again , so you could probably make an argument . It looks like anyone , but you know the Peshmaud lead singer when he was younger .
Oh , david , oh , I never remember Dave Garn , is it yeah ?
it reminded me of him just a tiny little bit . But again , lighting's odd , the sounds odd , the smoke all over the place . To say this is what , like 30 years ago ? Yeah , it's almost more like some sort of dystopian future , isn't it ? It's bizarre , not a thousand years in the future , after Threads . And this is what's left Dominic Badger Diamond .
Every series was in a different location , so I think this one's in a I don't know . It's like in a dungeon or something .
I don't know what this is in actually Pretty sure it's a church from some of the kind of panics . The angle at the back of the room looks very much like a church to me .
Yeah , so the next one I'm just looking at one was in an oil rig .
Yeah , that's the one where he's at he burnt down , killed him .
One's set in hell , one's set in heaven , one's set in Atlantis , one's set in a desert island and one's set in a power station . So they changed it up every series .
Yeah , so the first challenge , I mean it's three minutes . Well , it's not because he fails , but there's a bit in this that made me laugh , actually . So , basically , as Mega Man's running through the game , there's things moving around , he's got a shoot . Dominic Diamond asks the expert oh , what's this thing ? I'll play the clip .
Doc , I don't know what's the next thing . You speak of shooting .
There are sort of helicopter spring heads basically , he's going to blast those out of the way , otherwise they'll start leaping up there on his head .
Yeah , of course it is . It's a helicopter spring head Imagine that I sent you a clip .
I'll probably not be able to find it , otherwise I'll play it . Where that guy's on his bike and he goes this is a superb . I don't know what he's like talking about that bike . He's got it . Has got a propeller at the front . It's just ridiculous what they're talking about . You were a kid at work .
You'll know John John Wildcard , and he used to talk about games all the time and propering to his games , and he used to love coming into work in the morning . So what I did is I shot this copper and then he died .
He used to go .
Can you imagine if games didn't exist ? Or someone comes from a different reality and you hear him saying that , like what ? Yeah ?
I just love how serious it is . It's like oh , what's that ? It's a helicopter spring head I should have known that you think .
Don't think that
¶ Games Master and Game Reviews Discussion
was much about games . You don't really get involved , does it in this episode anyway ?
No , I mean he , I don't know , if I don't know to be caught on it , you'd imagine he did sort of Want to do a bit of getting involved to get the gig . But I don't know , I don't know actually , you know , but he never shares any gaming knowledge or experience , does it ? So maybe ?
Just a job for Dom it's quite tense .
I thought , as it's getting going , it missed a jump and he it fails a challenge . It didn't pass a challenge . Yeah , Dominic then speaks to him and this this is the kind of humor that I think Dominic has Now kind of become more famous for .
So even though the young kids that are on doing the challenge , he basically says I you know , normally in this type of thing it's all really lucky . I mean , matthew Kelly last week , oh , what a shame . Yeah , it basically says , is all you didn't do it , you let us down and yeah . Yeah .
So yeah , I don't know like I thought I Kind of remember this specific episode , but I remember thinking , yeah , that it's quite funny when people got it wrong . It just you say are you rubbish ?
Yeah , a bit like challenge on your thing your thick , your thick , your thick . When this was channel four , learning what ?
yeah , about seven o'clock .
I'm a writing , say yeah , I .
Would have guessed six if I had to . But yeah , it's just that like yeah , so like yeah it's nine . Yeah , kind of after kids TV finished and before sort of .
We should probably mention . This is something , did you ? I used to watch this every week without fail .
Yeah , definitely . I don't know when I Kind of fell out with it and possibly when he left , even though I weren't his biggest fan , but I don't remember watching it with a different presenter , so maybe I only watched the first couple of series .
Yeah , I don't know , but I and there was seven series and they're only two with Dominic Diamond , and if you talk to me about games master , I think straight away Dominic Diamond , yeah , and Patrick , more I don't yeah don't know being there , I don't know that all .
No , what's the ? Still , I'm in a row family where somebody dies . In his last words , the last words with Trevor McDonald , says a fitting tribute to the man . Yeah , anyway , so we finished the first challenge , to fail the challenge and we go on to some games reviews and this week .
This is the bit I used to probably chew it in for this .
Yeah , yeah . Well , I mean , this week they're doing racing games , so there's three games that we do . There's one of these I suspect that had , I don't know about you .
I've got one of them .
Yeah , so the first one is the one I think I had , which is Lotus Turbo challenge to . I definitely had a Lotus Lotus Turbo challenge . I don't know which one it was .
This is not the one that the guy off thing you did last week . Is it the challenge ? No , that was Lotus Esprit . Oh yeah , because it loads as a spring , a sprit , as they kept it . Yeah , yeah , yeah , this really surprised me this , because I've obviously this is a really famous game Lotus Turbo challenge . They only got 68% on this .
I guess basically the reviewers say that it's funny actually , because it's one of these . It starts off like , yes , really good . Yeah , I mean it's not bad , but it gets repetitive . Yeah , it's quite easy after a bit . Yeah , forget it . It's like it's been carried on .
It just be our bin it is , but it was actually vote the third best sports game of 1992 in a meager Joker magazine by the readers . So last laugh went the Lotus Turbo challenge too .
So that's a great bit of info you pulled out there . I didn't know that . Second one , and this is the one that made me laugh actually I had this one Grand Prix on the Amiga .
So what I love ?
though , is . I mean , it's 30 years ago and I get it . Yeah , I would have been saying wow , but you know , Well , no . But the thing that made me laugh is if you look at the actual images so crappy , and someone says it's just like being there . This is for the profession . Something like this is for your oh , she's name , this is for your Nigel Mansells .
Yeah , it's awful . And Then this weird-looking bald man says have you ever heard this is a praise for anything before ? It's just like being there . It says it's smart with a capital S . No , I don't remember that has been a thing for me in good .
But given Kevin McCabe , chef United chairman , once said we've got a transfer budget and it's substantial , with a capital S , and I don't think we bought anyone , but yeah , I remember him saying that . I remember that thinking , oh , a couple of science and plays never happened . I used to love this game . This is genuinely . I did my top 30 games .
Well , I think I don't know if you did it actually , I don't know if it just me and Tom , but I did my top 30 games in this room .
It obviously bonus . I'd be happy to do that as a bonus yeah . Yeah , yeah , yeah and the last one is outrun Europa . Now , I had outrun the original outrun , not Europa . Some fantastic music on that . I didn't have this Europa . It's actually on a master system and they say it struggles with some of the graphics and it 25% Shocking , should say .
By the way , f1 formula one grand prix , and I mean got 89 , and rightly so . Yeah , I remember it on arcade when you used to go to like sked nest or whatever , used to go blackpool even and stuff , and it was one of the cars .
Yeah , that was the original outrun . No , weren't it that one ? Yeah , that's the original outrun .
Yeah , but this looks a bit shit and it got 52% , probably right .
I think this is back as well . We might I don't know if we mentioned this before , but this is when People reviewed things properly . We always do this , so like if you send me a song or a fashion news song and say what do you think of this ? 6 out of 10 , 6 and a half out 10 is a good score . It's like yeah , yeah , quite like that . That's decent .
This seems to be this thing that's coming now , where everything's got to be 8 and 9s out of 10s yeah and then you've got nowhere to go , so I think 68% . Yet it be enjoyed it . They didn't love it , that's . That's a good score , to be honest .
This is why I mean you're sticking off for a dead bar , obviously just shuffled . You know I play reviews every week and everyone has a go at it .
He's never given out a 10 out of 10 , but like you've got a right , yeah , unless , like I don't know , pelle in a World Cup final where he's Just destroys it . But even then I would say did you do everything right , did he ? And actually , what happened after this ?
Sorry , go on . Sorry . In massive music music family I don't think there's ever been a 10 out of 10 album ever made . No , they can't be , because anything's perfect .
It might as well pack up there if you made the perfect thing .
But true perfection has to be imperfect , not my words of words of no delegate , in little by little anyway , carry on .
But yeah , do you remember quite a bit after this Tomb Raider came out , but because games had started getting 89 , 98 , 94 .
When you made .
It came out PlayStation magazine . I'm pretty sure gave it 105 percent .
Yeah , I remember you saying this before . I don't know if you said I don't know if I said it on episode but yeah this is back when people were being realistic .
So , yeah , I played some good reviews and I was happy with that . Yeah , what they move on to now is the new . They have a new game feature , so they're gonna tell us something that's coming out . It might not even necessarily be out yet , and this time it's June . Duna yeah , and to describe it to us , they picked the most boring man in the world .
So here's his description the player takes the part of Paula Trades , whose mission in life is to kick the Harkins off the planet of June . The Harkinons are mining spice . Spice is the most valuable element in the universe . June is the only planet to contain spice , so it's Paul's mission to get rid of the Harkinons so he can mine the spice .
Meanwhile it picked him to describe it . I'm sure they do it to everyone , but it was funny because to keep sort of fast forward in him , don't they like ? Yeah , yeah , is that boring that they can't be bothered to put him all in .
This makes me about this June . I've never played this . I don't know if you are on the Amiga again . No , no , 25 pound 99 . This doesn't massive amount in 1992 . Oh yeah , I remember games .
I do it . I mean , you could get like your code master stuff .
I'd like a yeah , yeah , yeah , yeah yeah .
I remember new games were expensive , weren't they ? And yeah , it finishes by saying again I've never heard this . He says it's like an interactive movie . So I think it's like a kind of point-and-click mystery . Do you know , like what do we mention before ? Like Monkey Island , sort of thing ? But he says it's very much like playing inside a movie .
Yeah .
What that means was based on a movie this German , obviously , I think it was 1984 . Weird thing with this game . What I did a bit of research on is that it shouldn't come out . Basically it got rejected but the the guy who were doing it , was never knocked right down .
It was that into it that he just kept working on and kept sending it , kept sending a very simple fucking alright , we'll put it out . And it was quite a big it probably him kept sending boring voice .
Smells like .
Yeah .
Yeah , it didn't sell it to me . I'm , I know , like times moved on but I wasn't completely against those sort of games , but that one just didn't do it for me in the look of it this . So now , what we do , now we move on to the celebrity challenge , and this is something I definitely remembered .
I don't know about you . Yeah , yeah , yeah .
I mean , I don't know if it's perhaps better saving it for the end , but I'll do it now , just break it up . So some of the people who did have there I don't know if you knew the first ever guest on this , who he was , oh , no , I've not looked at the wiki or anything on this , so it's John fashion you . That's right , it's John for Shawnee .
They got Vinnie Jones to slide tackle the controller . And the second one and this is another tie into what we do is mr Gary Mason .
Gary Mason for the overall over place , where the Gary Mason in night no wonder no one remembers is a boxer .
Yeah , so , and this one is Annabelle Croft . We get Eric Bristol not gonna go through . All of them McGuigan's on there . Emlyn Sports people them . Yeah , presumably it's like whenever they do , because obviously this is a tennis game and this is Isn't it . You got Tony Slattery . I thought was a strange one .
Thank you no .
Vinnie Jones . Take that , apparently . So must be an awful of them . Shadow and jet John Parrot , I'll Rika Johnson , ian Wright , josie Lawrence , e17 . So yeah , they've got some .
Guests yeah , hey , we're a cool show
¶ Retro Tennis Video Game Discussion and Tips
. I don't think like , if you , you know , I mean I think Patrick mobile a lot of street cred for it , do I ? Yeah , yeah , yeah , definitely . Annabelle Croft , by the way , I'd never heard of before , do well ?
Yeah , I mean , I don't about that . Yeah , yeah , but at this time I'm not sure . But yeah , I know she's often at Wimbledon . I think she was a Miner sort of in terms of a British sense . I think she's quite successful . I don't think on the world's scene she was what ?
I just tell you this she retired at 21 , just not enough .
Am I right thinking she voiced Laura Croft ? Because I Guessed that and then I thought actually it was a wrong .
Can't see that being true in any possible way other than the fact that they both called Croft .
Is that where I'm getting it ?
from Hmm , yeah , I've just typed it in . I think that'd be outrageous . You know we need to get Laura Croft .
No , but she's got quite a sort of posh voice , ain't ?
she Sounds like a little bit Coleman , I think .
Yeah , the name is Laura Annabelle Croft the character . Yeah , I've obviously got crossed .
So easy mistake to make . But yeah now . But like she retired at 21 , she's up against in she Um . But the playing pro tennis , tall too , which another one I had does you have this ?
Another one that played , I didn't have . Let's , let's listen to Dom introduce again and see if you can tell what net , what his name is .
And here to pound their balls along the baseline . Tonight we have side her , see from my lens and he'll be taken on . Former British ladies number one , annabelle Croft .
Yeah , I couldn't tell what she said . Side side sign I couldn't tell when I first listened . Yeah , you get it a bit clearer later .
Yeah , to be honest , I didn't from that , but at the end he says something about well played Sahid , or whatever he says well , not well played , and then actually I've put down here Ah , so this is Any true crime fans , this is kind of the my workings , so I've wrote down here Dom hair mad again . Is it winning the willows ratty ?
So I was thinking right at the stage .
I'm about fucking winning the willows what you're talking about .
I'm just explaining the thought process that's . This is the first . This is when I first thought ah , I know where I'm going with this .
Yeah .
I'm here comes back after the break . Another really odd filming angle . It's sort of looking up at him . It reminded me that Graham Taylor , do you know ?
He's . I'll tell you what animal croft on this game for pro tennis to fucking brilliant . No , no , and let me tell you why so well I mean , well , go on , you know I'm gonna go to see here . No , I'm not gonna have a good seed .
I hate just button bashing and that is all to be fair to both . She's really bad .
What do you expect it to do ? She's just . She's a tennis player , she's just in it . Oh , I'm not having this .
Ready to rumble boxing and I spent about two days getting really good on it . And then I challenge my brother and he just bashed buttons and beat me .
So I just yeah , last week actually there used to play Street Fighter . I just press everything as blind . Can you still electrocute him all time and win ?
Yeah , so she basically just whacking the button , she wins 3-0 three , three games .
To know , I know , I know , yeah , that's , I just think probably better at this than she's at real tennis .
She's retired after 21 minutes yeah . But yeah , so the kind of guy in the studio this time so with him is Tom Watson from From renegade , I think was a magazine . Yeah , I remember renegade magazine brilliant really sort of a moment of the times where they're watching and play and a burning mind , probably like 8-bit . Graphics are really blocky .
I don't know if it's 16 bit , but it may . Anyway , the graphics are awful . There's a bit where Dominic says because obviously she's playing as a female tennis player , oh , skirt came up there .
Yeah , yeah .
Yeah , yeah , and then they do like a zoomed in .
Yeah , on this . Remember this is what is it . 16 bit , 8 bit , what is it ?
Yeah , I don't know , yeah , one of them really shit graphics .
He's zoom in on this . Tennis players arse , like it's like oh , look at that . What are you talking about ?
Crazy crazy . Oh , couple of decent rallies , both mainly just . I mean , the one thing I should I'll say is , for all the games have come on , like the racing games and some of the other stuff we saw . This just showed to me that tennis games of actually , I mean , in terms of graphics they're a million times better , but they're not much with them . I do ?
I don't know what you do but yeah , but that's it .
They've never gone . No , for like a Different angle , that they found this and just stuck with it . I haven't they , and this is , it seems to be the format that works .
I spend a lot of money on virtue with tennis . When I used to go to metal , all used to have that in there . I remember that .
Yeah , yeah that were good and I used to have a well actually my brother did on the Gameboy a tennis game and that was really good . Like even years after kind of games and moved on , it's still really playable that but , Super Mario tennis , I think . But we're really good . She beat some 3-0 . Yeah . I'm the golden joystick with the size forever wins .
Do you remember ?
always one of these yeah yeah this is the other thing you've said . Games master . Give me three things about game master straight off . I'm going more diamond golden joystick sessions . Now I'm going golden joystick is like up there . It's like what I remember about this game . Yeah , yeah , paint the gold .
It's not actually gold , it's not old yeah they're making gold out every week , would they to Annabelle Croft and fucking do else . John fashion you .
But the what I find a bit odd . There is like the audience is sort of whooping and cheering like this found a bit like big breakfast or do you know . It's all like camera crew and Mike .
Yeah .
Yeah , builders and stuff , but every time it's really low budget that the crew get involved a lot more than they do in television nowadays . I think yeah , yeah , yeah definitely .
We move on and we move into the tip section .
Yeah this .
I love this , even though why it's probably only one in ten . I actually had the game , or I played it yeah brilliant . This was before . There's no YouTube guides . Or I'm someone when I play game I don't like to have guides , or I like to figure out . If I can't do it , that's it .
It's just as far as I've got I know , some people love to kind of have these guides and Everything telling you how to do it back in this era , unless you may have done it before you . Yeah , you fucked , you didn't have to do it , and yeah , there were little hidden rooms and Like well , I'm saying that because the first one is actually Alex kid .
I'm not a player , all three , but just as a bit of a trick down memory lane , I'll play the . The question from the kid and then his response . The games masters response .
Hello games master , welcome to my kingdom . I am delighted to see you . And what do you got to ask me ? I've heard there is a secret room on the first level of Alex kid . I've looked everywhere for it but I can't find it . Is there a way you can help me ? Hmm , I must admit this an awfully long time since I've had to preoccupy myself with Alex kid .
However , if I recall correctly , there's a secret room next to the palm tree , just past the third chest . Simply jump up and down to break the blocks on the ground and the room will reveal itself . Thanks a lot , bye .
I think . Correct me if I'm wrong . Cadabra Dragon .
Cadabra I thought this was called and you have to get past the dragon . I absolutely love Patrick Moore's response here . I think it's proper good acting there . It's brilliant . I don't know , I just love it .
I've been playing Cadabra for over a month now . I can't pass the dragon . He fries me every time . What am I doing wrong ?
A good question , young man , but this is indeed a most tenacious reptile . Follow these instructions carefully Once you enter the dragon room , call up your inventory and drink the fire shield spell to protect you .
Then select the masaka spell that you should have collected from Lord Carolus Altra in the chapel and fire it to finish off this troublesome creature once and for all . Alright , thanks a lot . I wish you success with this one .
Yeah , it's brilliant . It's like he's got into the role on it . Yeah , well , yeah , obviously , yeah , I think the last one . I'm not a player because I don't want to make fun of him , but I think the guy just probably got bigger problems than the question he asked . But he can't get passed on all three on turtles . What should I do ?
It were really easy . I don't like to say you don't want to slag him off , but you know it were a really easy thing that he had to do as well . Yeah , you rescue Splinter . Yeah , you jump up there Like , oh right , jump , just jump , mate . Literally that were it you've got to jump . what a fucking hard course . You ever thought of jumping ?
Yeah , brilliant . Yeah , I like this bit . Like you say , what are your games coming on ? It must be amazing , for you know , if I've been looking at because obviously we watch this on YouTube you get loads of recommendations . I've been watching a lot of old games that I never completed . You're like walkthroughs and stuff .
Yeah .
You've got no chance , absolutely no chance of completing as a kid . Like what ? How are you supposed to know some of these things ? There's one called the Colonel's Bequest . It's a bit of an obscure one for the Amiga . I loved it and like to get the top smooth mark on it .
You have to like go into a certain room and then go back out and go back in , but , like at this particular , you're mad . Is that what you're doing ? What ?
Yeah , it's crazy , you know , they put in these sort of things that are only really sort of nerds . I don't even know if nerds figured them out , or just that they were in communities who talk to each other and new programmers or what I'm not sure . But yeah , there were some really weird sort of ways that you could do it .
The famous one I remember , by the way , and I don't know if it's because it's been used on something since , but we had to do a figure eight round some palm trees and it opened up a secret room . Yeah , yeah , I don't know . I don't know what it is . I just I'm just thinking about it . That was the famous one that I remember .
They must have used it on a clip for something else , so I think you did Charlie Brooker use it , or something like that .
There's a couple of Resident Evil . If you open my , if you look at a picture 15 times or whatever , probably more you get a picture of Rebecca Chambers in a gym outfit or something like that . You know what I mean . You can change the tops and stuff like that , yeah .
The big one . I remember the big cheat was the . If you called yourself a certain name on Theme Park , you got unlimited money .
Mark Lampoon . Whatever you want to Is that what it was , mark Lampoon . I always remember . Wow , because when you did it , it said Mark Lampoon has just cheated .
Imagine if you were Mark Lampoon . He's put your name on .
Mark Lampoon . Honestly , I always remember Mark Lampoon . Other thing as well is another good cheat . Not really a cheat there , but when I don't know with the first person to , it's pretty obvious , but when you used to play track and field and all you used to do is just put auto points you know , like when you just did . What's the point ?
Absolutely no point .
You said that . Well , actually there's a famous on international superstar soccer deluxe .
Yeah .
You got ref . Couldn't you Up up , down down , left right , left right , circle X , was it ? And then you could make the ref for your dog .
Do you remember what he did when you did it ? I remember have we talked about this before ? I don't think so .
Well , to me , the bit that always used to make me laugh is when you got booked . It looked like the dog did a Nazi salute . It's just like oh , it's a harm .
Did you know he said of the whistle , it's a dog bark as well . All right , no , I've not remembered that . Brilliant yeah .
So , and the other one , I suppose , was the what was the sonic one .
Some are . There were secret room in Sonics . Yeah , I think you know .
But you could kind of get into like an editor mode . We could start on any level you could . You could change things . It's like something like I'm getting mixed up with that one , but it's like up , seed , down , seed , left , see , right , see , hold a BC start . I think that's what it was .
Yeah .
I even have that , but yeah anyway , yeah , so the brilliant . Yeah , we were cheated back in the day , but I never liked to complete a game , by the way , by cheating . I don't mind having a bit of fun on that .
See what it's done I've never used to see massive tangent here , but fuck it . What ? What do you think is the percentage of games you completed as a kid ? Because I recommend it be below 10% of all the games that . I bought yeah .
¶ Gaming Challenges and TV Show Episodes
Yeah , I mean of games that are certain ones . What do we have ? We had something about a dragon , and I just could not , for the life of me , figure out how to do that . We must have spent hundreds of hours on it . I completed a dizzy , yeah .
Completed golden eye .
I never played that Complete a resident you both bit later .
Oh , yeah , yeah .
First one I did yeah , without any cheats with . I did it with the guy as well . We got less carrying space , I think .
And you didn't start with one either . Oh yeah , same same . Yeah , yeah , what should we say ? Me and Brandon used to play at the same time . We did one and two . Yeah , two raider , one , two raider one Definitely completed that .
Yeah , anyway . So move on , and it's another challenge , and this time it's a game called Zoom . Never heard of it . No , actually to me it looks , the one that I can imagine almost being a mobile phone game today .
Yeah , I don't like these sort of games . I just found them quite . They always did , though , as a kid .
You've got to . Basically , there's a load of sort of there's a floor plan that's set up of squares but you've got to trace around the outline of the squares to make them flash and get them all . Yeah , I don't know , I can imagine some people liking it . It's not my sort of game .
They pick out three players from the audience and , well , I play the names you think . First one yeah , yeah , fine , that's a normal name . Again , another 50 accent . Second one yeah , that's fine . Third one what ? What did you say ?
That's the one . What's your name ? Scott ? Scott , hello there . And that's the second one up , george , george , nice to see you and our lovely Linnie contestant Dola .
So at this time I wrote down Dula , D-D-O-L-A . I wrote down as the name Dula , but as it progresses I've written down Dola , Dolaad , Dola , oh fuck yeah . I don't know if this is like a deliberate thing that he's doing , where he's saying a name wrong each time .
This would take me a bit of time to do this , but what I'll do is I'll put a clip in here of all the different way that he says her name .
Dola in the middle . What tips can Dola ? Are you ready ? Dolaad Dola , your challenge is over .
So what would you call her if you met her ?
I've got no idea what she's called . It's probably something like Dora or Doreen or something I've got no idea .
Cheeky character Dominic Diamond has a lot of fallouts , doesn't he ? As I'll get onto .
Yeah , he's had very different fallouts for people . We've got Neil Wish from Sega Power this time To me . I don't know about you , he's my favourite co-commentator .
Yeah , yeah , I'd like to say the co-commentary . I do like the co-commentary . I wrote this down , actually . The co-commentary I like because if it's a game you've never played , you don't know what's going on , and I do like the co-commentary as a thing , anyway , like what he needs to do .
It gives him genuine advice as well . He tells you a bit about the game but he also says that none of them listen to . You've got to remember . You can jump , so use that if you need to do it . None of them do that . No , they shouldn't listen to him .
No , they should be listening to him . He's a reason for a game magazine .
First guy does okay , not great Losers . Dalak , doolog Dooli she dies as well doesn't do that well . George does the best . He's going quite well . He's really into it . It looks really intense . He fails a challenge and Dominic Diamond calls him . He says you're a plank , you did a bit better , but you're still a plank . So say goodbye to the three planks .
I love the three planks . I love the three planks . We've talked about this privately . No one will know what Ronald Reneback is , but he has Plank of the Week but it's him next to the plank Self-runner .
When he's announcing he's going to have his Plank of the Week , he always puts an image up of him with a sign in front of him he's like he's nominating himself every week and then , really odd bit at the end I don't even know what it is . It's like a lump of ice cream or something .
This thing comes and brings it in a smoking jacket and it puts it on and walks off , which again ties into Mr Badger , actually , because he wears one of those sort of things in the Wind and the Willows . So I genuinely think it is themed on Mr Badger , by the way .
Did that say it ?
right ? No , hold on , because listen to this bit . I don't know if you watched the credits at the end .
I don't know if it did actually . I'm not sure .
But you know , when you get the people who come in and say that was a great episode , I'm coming up next . Listen to this . This is to me as someone who started telling a joke but didn't really know where they're going with it , so it just made me laugh . I'm going to play it .
Fantastic , a very on-dominant diamond there . I think you must have nicked two of my sunglasses , or something like that .
Something like that . So that's it . That's all I've got in the episode . I've got a little bit on Dominic , but to be fair , it's just come from Wikipedia so you've probably read it , but we can tell the audience .
I've not read it . I've not done any Wikipedia research on this . I've let you read the Wikipedia Just before we go on through him . Though what did you think ? I like this . I'm genuinely really tempted to go through all the episodes . I think this was brilliant . I can understand why I watched it . I think I'm going to go through all the episodes .
I'll probably fast-forward them , like the games of the art now and stuff like that , but I thought it was brilliant . I can understand . It went so quick .
Yeah , it's only 20 minutes , but I enjoyed it , and sometimes when you're making notes , I'm stopping and going back a little bit . I liked it . I thought it's good . I could see why it was here . I was probably just a little bit young for a primed audience . Really we were playing games , but we probably weren't really into games , I don't know .
But anyway , really good , really good . I think it's great background TV and if a game pops up that you like , then that's when it'll get your full attention .
I might watch some more , just before you go on to Dom , I'll just get the only thing I've left on my list , the most infamous clip , or famous clip , from this . I don't know if you've ever seen it actually that guy who dies within 13 seconds and starts going fucking mad like it's furious .
You told me about this when we were going to do it . Have you got a clip ?
Yeah , I've got a clip for it here . This is Dave Gaines Animal Peric as he calls himself . He's playing Super Mario 64 and he dies within 13 seconds , and he pros a right mode .
Now on to you , dave . You have us on the show . You are the greatest games player in Britain . What happened ? What went wrong ?
Well , I think I've been set up fairly badly here today , right ? And in particular , what reason ? I think having a final game where one player owns the game and the machine and one player doesn't isn't in the interest of fair play .
Okay then . So what you're saying , dave , is the biggest game of this year . You haven't played much .
It's not released until next year . I'll play it next year when it's released in this country .
Okay , you are a journalist .
We can get it on import . Not a journalist , I'm a marketing manager .
Right , okay then , and you don't have a book coming out about games and stuff like that , About BMX , about BMX . So we're not seeing Sir Grip to talk here . Dave , is what you're trying to say ?
No , we're not . We're seeing somebody just saying he's been set up .
Okay , then , and on that bombshell .
And what I didn't know about this is apparently there was real life animosity between Peri , the guy who lost on the game , and Dominic Diamond , and Peri believes he was set up having to play a game that weren't available in the UK , while his opponent , who happened to be a friend of diamonds , had been practicing for months .
So because they had a fallout .
They think Diamond had set it up . So he's like and another thing , and I've gotten to a bit of a rabbit hole with him . I don't want to go on and on about him , but it's one more thing from Dave Games , animal Peri .
So yeah , he claimed that he carried every type of joystick with him at all times , in case he got challenged in the street to a game of microcosm , which I don't remember that name imagine that , like what do you have ? like a bat bell , like every type of joystick , I mean , there weren't that many types anyway ? No , I don't think so .
That's what he once claimed .
I don't know about you , but we changed from so basically the old fashioned one that I think just had one button on to start with . Then do you remember when you got one that almost looks more like a golden one it's a bit more like a flight simulator thing . It's got a trigger , it's got a couple of buttons on it you thought , wow , I've made it .
The thing is , though , I always remember as well , just on that when one of the joysticks broke . They broke quite a lot , didn't they ? Yeah ?
they got bashed around , didn't they ?
Yeah , and when one of them broke I had to go back to the one button one . It was a proper disappointing . You were like this is shit anyway .
Yeah , yeah . So , Dominic , I've not got loads of stuff , to be quite honest with you , but I've scoured high and low through his Wikipedia page . He's born in Arbroath , which , yeah , I don't know if it's a kind of distinct Scottish accent that's a little bit harder to understand or if it's just his style .
He studied at Bristol University with David Walliams and Simon Pegg .
Oh funny , you should mention them because , yeah , he fell out with David Walliams .
Yeah , yeah , so there's a few of you in there I've got that sorry . Well , no , I mean I've not dug it . I know he's had various fall-ins out with various different people , but so , yeah , walliams and Diamond fell out after he appeared on his show . He did a Paramount show and I've never heard of that . I've never heard of that .
They had David Walliams on and they fell out , and after that Dominic Diamond said that Walliams and Matt Lucas were complete arseholes on the show .
Have you seen the clip ?
In the 2007 he did an interview where he said he had not spoken to Walliams since he was described as both a comic genius and a twat .
Have you seen the clip ? There's a clip on YouTube with this .
No , no , I've only done Wikipedia exclusive .
Every single time he I mean he's worth watching . He's putting Dominic Diamond and David Walliams . He's every time like he's trying to talk and stuff them two in background , like just going , you know , like doing daft , like characters and stuff like that .
Well , we've mentioned Walliams before , haven't we ?
Well , at one point he says something . Really he goes like honestly , I'll fucking hit you if you carry on like he's proper serious Diamond .
You know , throw it a punch , though , haven't you ?
Yeah , yeah , you don't want to mess with fucking Dominic Diamond , so you should probably take back all this wind in the willows nonsense that you keep talking about .
I think he's changed that one . I think he's . I think he'd say , yeah , we did base on that . You're the only one who's noticed it ? 2006, . It had a five channel five documentary Crucify Me . During filming , he took part in the annual Holy Week reenactment and a crucifixion at San Pedro Coutoude in the Philippines .
However , he backed down at last minute and broke into tears .
What did I .
Don't know what that was about . We've got a bit where we've mentioned previously where each one was in a different one . He's Anthony Mauricio blew up the kitchen and then they revealed later , because I think at the time he was still supposed to come back for series three , but he said he burned to death in the fire . So they got a new presenter .
Yeah .
I mean I'm not going to morph you . I mean I'm sure there's a lot more trivia on Dominic Diamond , but yeah , that's all I've got .
I'm happy to do this one again later , later day , maybe series four or five , when he's not there , just to see how it will go . Yeah , so I really enjoyed that . Brilliant , fantastic . That's two in a row I've enjoyed , which is not like us .
So all been well
¶ Episode Announcement and Contact Information Discussion
. There should be a midweek to follow this one , so we're not going to announce the next episode just yet . Yeah , I'm going to have to bear with us .
I don't know what it is .
Thanks , for listening . I would say you know what ? Just go back and watch an old Games Master episode if you would Pick one , not even necessarily this one , but I'd say start with the Dominic Diamond and see how you get on At least start with Dominic Diamond and then move on .
Mr Toad , I can't .
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