So, I went from having two dates per week to having only two dates this year. Why the sudden change? I had a “boo-thang” and wanted to be in a real relationship. He tried to keep it as is. So, I decided to pursue what I wanted. Deciding to leave hurt me, and I didn't realize how much. So, I tried to date, but I wasn’t up to it. I gave dating a little break. Now I feel fully ready to jump back into the dating pool but with some changes. I'm going outside!
Overall, dating has been fun and exciting. I have met some great guys and some dusty crusties. But recently, I fell into a dusty man trap. I usually don’t dwell too much on unpleasant experiences, but sometimes it’s necessary. Here’s how I fell into a dusty-man trap. I always protect the innocent, so I’ll call this guy Gary. Sorry to anyone named Gary. It’s not personal. I have five things a guy must meet before I decide to go on a date with him. ChristianHave a jobHave a carHave his own place t...
Let’s talk about being strong. Life can be overwhelming at times. There is so much to do and so little time in which to do it. The standard advice is to push through, hang in there, be strong, or you’ve got this. This advice is well-intentioned. There is nothing wrong with any of these statements. Yet, how does this help the person who is tired of hanging on? What advice does one give to the strong woman who is tired of being strong? Stop the Platitudes Hang in there is easy to say. It’s been so...
So we all know the story about the prodigal son. The scripture where the son demands his inheritance and goes off and squanders it then returns home. The moral of the story is that no matter how far you wander away from home, God will always be there to welcome you back with open arms. Usually, when you hear that parable, it focuses on the prodigal son. Other times the focus is the elder son who stayed. His reaction of anger and resentment is treated as a precautionary tale of what not to do. I ...
This year I learned more than ever that my words matter. I may have lost some things due to my inability to express what I wanted or felt. Though I may not lose those things forever, I vow never to repeat the same mistake. I have to be honest, transparent, and open. Words matter, and I will use them to speak life. And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony, and they loved not their lives unto the death. Revelations 12:11
Are you that relative that always has something to say to the single relative? Are you single and tired of those relatives that always ask you awkward questions about your love life? Here are some things to stop saying and responses to those crazy statements.
Forgiveness in Greek means sending away, letting go, giving up debt, not condemning, or keeping no longer. Forgiveness is the hard work of Christianity. As believers, we must forgive those who harmed us. It seems like a simple request. Your sins were wiped away when you were forgiven, so give others the same forgiveness. Yet, the actual act of forgiving someone is hard. This begs the question, why is it so hard?
What goals have you accomplished this year? 2022 is almost upon us, it's time to set new goals and re-evaluate the old ones. Here are some of the goals I did and didn't achieve.
I know the pain of a broken heart: the despair, the brokenness, and feelings of helplessness and loneliness. I've cried those same tears. I've felt there was no one to turn to, no one who could understand what I felt. Yet, there is hope! You will heal from a broken heart. Broken Heart Healing from a broken heart requires you first to process the pain. Processing the pain looks different for everyone. Some people cry others shout, and some go to therapy. In my case, it was all three combined. Wha...
Grateful As Thanksgiving rolls around again, we often think about what we are grateful for. The answers are varied, but usually, we hear things like family, friends, and life. While I am definitely thankful for family and friends, I decided to be grateful for what I didn’t get this year. Grateful for No Romantic Relationship No, I’m not in a relationship. I still desire to be in one. I’m grateful for the almost-relationships. It feels like I’ve been dating people non-stop for three years now. Cu...
Establishing healthy boundaries is imperative to maintaining mental wellbeing. People need access to us, but how much access should we grant? When is being too available detrimental to our health? How do I set boundaries to protect my peace? How do I make sure I respect the boundaries other people have set? As a believer, how do I help without harming myself? As I continue on my self-discovery and personal growth journey, these questions have come up repeatedly. There have been instances where I...
Taking God at His Word https://youtu.be/2ef2_UnZoK0
Here we discuss five aspects of life that make the whole person—faith, fitness, finances, fun, and of course, love. Today I want to discuss being financially whole and what that looks like. Of course, we’re going to start with a mini storytime. I started my financial wholeness journey in 2015. I took a Dave Ramsey course called financial peace. The course taught me how to budget and take control of my expenses. During the next four years, I paid off all of my credit cards, paid off my car, and s...
Here we discuss faith, fitness, finances, fun love today. I want to talk about love, or more explicitly, dating and courting. So, I had a boyfriend for five years, and after that, I did not date for six years. Then I dated heavily for 2.5 years. It was fun & I was not dating seriously. It taught me a lot about what I wanted & what I did not want. So that brings us to this year. Around March of this year, I hired a dating coach for high-value women of faith. This course lasted 12 weeks, a...
“So I recommend the enjoyment of life, for there is nothing better on earth for a person to do except to eat, drink, and enjoy life. So joy will accompany him in his toil during the days of his life which God gives him on earth.” Ecclesiastes 8:15 NET
Then they rose early in the morning and worshiped before the Lord and returned and came to their house at Ramah. And Elkanah knew Hannah, his wife, and the Lord remembered her. 1 Samuel 1:19 So, here I am—a 35-year-old single, childless woman. I am not working the job I want and just kind of generally feeling like I’m living below the promises of God. I’m trying to be grateful and see all the beautiful things that I have in my life. I have wonderfully supportive friends and family who genuinely ...
Living noun /ˈliviNG/: the pursuit of a lifestyle of the specified type.dictionary.com This is my year of intention. I plan to get every promise God has for me. I'm tired of just existing or surviving. It's time to live! No longer will I live below the promises of God. Everything that He promised me would be mine. My life will be a reflection of Him. It's time to come alive and do what God placed in me. Free Free adjective /frē/: not under the control or in the power of another; able to act or b...
Last year my plan was not to be single by Valentine’s Day 2021. Enter a global pandemic, my parents and sister suffering from COVID-19, losing a job, getting another job, weight gain and loss, and just the trial of life in general. With all of that happening, no one would blame me for taking time off from dating. After all, there are so many reasons not to date. However, I still viewed this as a time to go after what I wanted, although I had to be more creative in doing it. So, here's the big qu...
Intentional wholeness is my guiding phrase for the year 2021. This phrase means I am seeking restoration, health, wellness, and a sound mind on purpose. Things like restoration do not happen by accident. It takes purposeful, intentional action directed toward a specific goal. This phrase also means that I want my whole life to be full, not just certain parts. So, I’ve decided to focus this year on five specific areas: faith, finances, fitness, fun, love. Faith. Faith is dealing with my relations...
What does taking up space mean? It means being my authentic self unapologetically.
There have been a lot of almosts in my life lately. I was almost in a relationship. I almost had a job I wanted. Unfortunately, almost doesn’t count. Being so close and so far away at the same time is an interesting predicament. I’m tired of almost. It feels like failure. So many failures in such a short period seem unfair. I know what God says about me. He says that I’m more than an overcomer. He says that in Him, I have the victory. His word calls me chosen, loved, victorious, wonderful, and v...
So, you’re single after 30 and still not married. You may be feeling societal or familial pressure at this point. Or you may hear your biological clock ticking louder and louder as the days go by. If you’re like me, you’re probably tired of the ever-ubiquitous questions regarding your dating life. I know it’s tiring and frustrating. So let me ask you a question. How Are You? How are you doing? It’s okay to admit how you are feeling about being single. Also, take the time to examine why you’re fe...
Ever since the social unrest and racial injustices erupted, I’ve been torn. Where does my allegiance lie? Do I have to choose between my blackness and my God? How can I reconcile being Black and Christian?
There is so much going on in the world right now. This is the time, more than ever, to pray, listen, and obey.
This is my journey to freedom. I had no idea God would take me down this path during my single season, but here I am. I crave freedom, and I know it's there for me. Now I have to walk this journey to obtain the freedom that's rightfully mine. God Can Do It I'm often asked, why I can't just let go? What's stopping me from being free? Honestly, I'm the reason I'm not free. I understand that God has already freed me, but it's hard to accept that freedom in my heart. Let me clarify. It’s not that I ...
It’s only been less than 2 years since I’ve committed to seriously dating, so I need to give myself dating grace.
A friend recently asked me what is my goal as a Christian? The first thing that popped into my mind was a right relationship with God. But what does that look like for me? How can I have a relationship with God and not the same old traditional religion I’m used to?
This hasn’t been an easy time for most of us. The media is pushing the narrative that we should be afraid and worried. While there is cause for concern, my attitude at the outbreak of the pandemic was decidedly positive. I was confident that God would see me and everyone connected to me safely through it. Then, I lost my job. The First Blow That was the first blow. The economy is up and down due to That Rona. Now is no time to be without a job. Thankfully, I saw it coming and was able to obtain ...
Lately, I've been in a dating slump. I'm tired of the dating process. Each step takes so much energy and time. It's an exhausting thing.
1. I Can Accomplish Anything I passed the bar on the first attempt. Up until that point, it was one of the most challenging things I had done. It was daunting. My entire career hinged on me passing this one test. But I did it. After 3 years of law school and an entire summer spent studying, I passed the bar. That let me know I can do anything. Philippians 4:13 (KJV) I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me 2. Not to Lean On My Own Understanding Life doesn’t always go according to th...
