098 - You're Only As Memorable As The Story You Tell

Marisa Huston  0:03  
Welcome to Episode 98 on the Live Blissed Out podcast. Did you know that the Library of Congress recorded over 171 million items in 2020, 25 million of which were books? This does not include the billions of stories being told on websites, TV, movies or in person. Hello, action taker! Welcome to Live Blissed Out. A podcast where I have inspiration and informational conversations with business owners and subject matter experts to help you get the scoop on a variety of topics. Tired of hesitating or making decisions without having the big picture? Wanna be in the know? Then this is the place to go. I'm your host Marisa Huston. Helping you achieve bliss through awareness and action. So let's get to it. In this episode, Lori Dubois shows us how telling stories is a critical communication tool not just a method of entertainment, and how crafting your big and little stories and telling them effectively can help you build stronger relationships, attract the right people to your business and differentiate you in the marketplace. Lori Dubois is the owner of Marketing Troubadour, a marketing and branding firm focused on providing strategic advice and content related marketing to small businesses. She believes every business is unique in the marketplace, because no one has the same story as anyone else. Her left brain/right brain balance gives her an approach that is both creative and analytical, harder to find than you'd think. A marketer by trade, librarian by training and storyteller by nature, Lori loves bringing people together around a concept or mission. She is fueled by good conversations, good stories and good people. To learn more visit www.marketingtroubadour.com. 

Disclaimer  1:51  
The information opinions and recommendations presented in this podcast are for general information only and any reliance on the information provided in this podcast is done at your own risk. This podcast should not be considered professional advice. 

Marisa Huston  2:04  
Lori, welcome to the show!

Lori Dubois  2:06  
Thanks Marisa. I'm excited to talk to you today. 

Marisa Huston  2:09  
Oh, me too! I think you would be better positioned to explain to our listeners what we're having a conversation about and why it matters.

Lori Dubois  2:18  
We are actually talking about, you are only as memorable as the story you tell. And when I say that, I don't mean telling stories like in a fantastical way like trying to create all this interest and stuff that's not there. I'm just talking about being memorable by telling stories in an authentic way to connect with people. Because I believe that that's what we all want to do. We want people to remember us and we want people to listen to us. There are ways that we can use this particularly in our business to help us connect with people who could be potential customers. 

Marisa Huston  2:55  
I totally agree. There's nothing more compelling than a story. Why then do you think that as humans, we are so wired for that? Like what makes story so endearing to us? 

Lori Dubois  3:06  
I think it's because as humans, we don't exist all on our own. We need to interact with people. We need to be in a community. We can use stories to transmit information between each other. But beyond that, we can use story to do much more enriching things like finding commonality among ourselves, or making connections with other people, the way we build relationship. And I think stories also adds context and meaning into our lives. You know, we're hardwired to want to relate with other people and the easiest way to relate to other people is through telling stories. 

Marisa Huston  3:48  
Lori, that is so true. And when you think about it, even kids, when we read them stories, they can really understand what the character is going through. And then they look at themselves and they say, wow, that sounds like me, or that could happen to me. And there's this interconnection. Bottom line is you can dictate something but if you don't explain it in a story format, it's hard for people to really relate in an emotional level that stories are able to do. 

Lori Dubois  4:19  
Absolutely. So this is just a story of how I came to rebrand my business and change my name. And my business name was Dubois Information as a marketing and branding consultant, and then I went back to school to get my master's degree. I won't tell you how old I was when I was a little bit older. 

Marisa Huston  4:40  
Let's keep that a secret!

Lori Dubois  4:43  
We don't need to share some of this information. But I was going back to school to get a master's degree in library and information science and here it was a marketer. So you know, how do those things relate? Well, we watched a movie one day in class and this movie was talking about the differences when we changed from oral language communication to written language communication, like before the printing press and all of these kinds of times. So it showed this picture of this little traveling minstrel guy and he was a troubadour. And I thought, wow, that's a cool idea! This troubadour, who would go from town to town, and basically sing, which I can't sing, so don't me that. But this guy would tell stories and that was the news of the day and that's how he shared them. And so I was so enthralled with this idea of a troubadour and being a storyteller, and I love sharing stories, I always have. And so when I was thinking about my business, I realized that's what marketing is. It's telling stories. When you take it down to its most basic thing that's all it is. It's sharing stories with other people. Here's what I do. Do you have this pain? I could potentially help you. And then I realized everyone loves sharing stories. So that's why I thought marketing troubadour. When I grow up, I want to be a troubadour and I want to help business owners, I want to help them become troubadours themselves. 

Marisa Huston  6:06  
And oftentimes, as business owners, when we're creating our products, or putting ourselves out there, we are taught about features and benefits and facts and figures. Many of us are just not built that way. We don't think that way. Because we're thinking so businesslike and rigid, and we forget to connect, because that connection is really what helps people relate to us at a level that no facts or figures can ever do.

Lori Dubois  6:34  
That is absolutely it in a nutshell. You just totally nailed it. Facts and figures are one thing but they can be pretty cold. They don't have that kind of warm fuzzy. Even people that I've worked with who say they don't like the warm and fuzzy...I don't care about their story, I just want to know what their prices are. I would challenge and have a little bit of pushback and say, I don't know if that's really true. Because if you're talking about building relationships, you have to go beyond the numbers.

Marisa Huston  7:04  
To be honest, I'm one of those people who really likes just facts, because that's how my mind works. I really like going somewhere and if I need something, I just want the information and I want to get out. But I'm with you. And I had to learn Lori, to interject the story piece into it, because I tend to deviate and just go straight to what I'm familiar with, which are the facts. I believe that it really needs to be a balance because you can tell all the stories in the world but if people go to your website, and they don't really understand what your product does, or how it can help them that might turn them off. But then if it's all that direction, and you don't really bring that personal side to things, then people just don't make that connection with you, and it's not endearing enough, then they might go somewhere else where they can find that. So I think it's really a balance between both, don't you think? 

Lori Dubois  7:54  
Yes, I completely agree. It's interesting, you said that that's how you tend to be you're going towards the numbers. I'm probably the opposite. I'm going to be towards the story and I would talk to someone for three hours and never get to the point of you know, how much does this cost? So, you know, people are different. And I think you're right, you can have both. And I think you can even incorporate some of those hard facts or raw data, you can incorporate those into a story. Just because something is a story doesn't mean it has to be long. 

Marisa Huston  8:25  
That's a really good point. It just boils down to really being cognizant of both and not being so rigid on one end, or get to the point where it's all about story and no substance. So it's really the balance between the two that makes it work. 

Lori Dubois  8:41  
It absolutely is.

Marisa Huston  8:42  
How personal do we need to get when we tell our stories? 

Lori Dubois  8:46  
Well, depending on your audience, I would say. Because you just used an example for who you are. If you're telling stories to any group, whether you're doing marketing in a business or whether you're just presenting to a group of people that have the same interest or a parent group in schools, whatever the group is, I think what's most important is that you understand your audience because what's appropriate is going to be different depending on who you're talking to. Some people welcome more personal information. Some people don't really want a lot. And I think the more you understand who your people are, the easier it is to know what they'll relate to, and what they like. And when I say interject some personal things in your story, I don't mean tell him every personal fact about you because that could get embarrassing. There's a lot of things that wouldn't really work with that. But if it's related. Sometimes I talk about building bridges. You might go hiking on Saturday, and maybe hiking has nothing to do with the business you're in because you're a financial advisor, for example. But there might be something where you can build a little bridge and you take a picture of your kids sitting on a rock when you're hiking and the bridge would be, as you're telling a little story, like on social media, I've created this business and this life to be where I'm able to work when I want, how I want, and able to spend time with my family. So that's just an example of telling a little story. And it's not that people need to understand your personal life. But when you share those kind of things, like while you're doing something, then I think that people go, Oh, I get it, I have those same needs. I like this person. And once you get to that point, I like this person, then it's always like, I want to know more. 

Marisa Huston  10:37  
And you know, I'm glad you brought that up. Because there are people out there that have no qualms about sharing every detail about their lives. They will tell you everything, what they like, what they don't like, and they do it so seamlessly. And that has always been something uncomfortable for me. And I know there's people out there like me who feel that way, where they just don't want to share all of that personal stuff and don't even feel like it's relevant anyway. But you can still share stories or experiences that you go through. But you don't have to get into that type of detail. It's more of I went to this place, and I experienced maybe this customer service situation, and that then ties into what you do or how you help people. And then it still brings that personal touch to what you're trying to get across without necessarily spilling the beans and opening up, you know, to the world, every little thing about yourself.

Lori Dubois  11:34  
Oh, sure. And we've all seen this. There are people who share on social media and they share, you know, their dog and their dog's name and their kids and their kids name and where they go to school and every detail about their personal life. And not only do you think, wow, that seems a little bit dangerous to be sharing some of this information. But also I don't need to know that, you know? But there's also people who they may have a dog and they may have a child and maybe you know that but that's only because you heard the mentioning it in the context of a story that was talking about something else related to business.

ACE Your Virtual Business  12:10  
If you're a virtual business owner, social media is a must. It can also be a time suck. That's why at ACE Your Virtual Business, we created Social Media Saturday. You'll learn how to use social media scheduling and design applications, save time by compounding your planning efforts and leveraging the inputs of your fellow ACE attendees, set specific goals surrounding revenue and engagement and how to measure those to ensure effectiveness. Just think of all the ways you can put your newfound time to use growing your business and engaging with your customers. Register today for a hands on Zoom workshop during which you'll be able to ask questions, get instant feedback and leave with a calendar of fresh content. Now that's time and money well spent! Just click the link in the show notes to learn more and instantly apply your early action taker discount code. 

Marisa Huston  12:58  
Absolutely. And I think it's important that we have this conversation today, Lori because there's people out there who are hiding from stories because they have that fear. Like they just don't want to open up because they're concerned about putting out too much information. And we're saying today, that's not necessary. You can still tell stories, and still be relevant and share personal information. But it doesn't have to be to the level where you're feeling uncomfortable or you have to put out more than you want to.

Lori Dubois  13:30  
Right. Because here's the thing, Marisa. If I try to force you to share more information, then you want to share, you're going to feel uncomfortable. They always say you can smell desperation on a salesperson. But I think that's so funny and also true. You don't want people to see that you're feeling uncomfortable. And you're sharing something just because somebody told you to. So there has to be an authenticity and a comfort level within you about the things that you are sharing. And if you don't want to share details about your personal lifestyle, you don't have to at all. Y ou can share stories about your customers, you can share stories about why you started your business, what you did before your businesses, all kinds of things you can share in a way that people will relate to without having to go into those areas that make you uncomfortable.

Marisa Huston  14:23  
And I'm so glad you mentioned authenticity.  I think that sometimes we try to impress people that it comes across that way. Whereas sometimes the best stories are stories where you make mistakes, where you kind of thought you were going in one direction and it didn't turn out the way you want it because those stories are so impactful given the fact that most of us make mistakes and we all have regrets to a certain level. And hearing somebody else tell their story about how they overcame that, really helps people connect with us on a human level that no other story can do.

Lori Dubois  15:05  
Oh, it does. There's nothing I think, as compelling as that. Because when we're talking about being human, that's being human, it's being vulnerable, you know, and saying, I did this thing, and I had these thoughts about how it was going to go and it didn't go that way. And so those kind of stories help people relate to you. Now, if you don't have those stories....because I think sometimes people try to grasp a little bit, and they look and they try to take something and make it seem worse than it was. Because then they think, oh, people will either feel sorry for me or oh, they'll really understand this. And that's really not necessary, either. It's like your truth is your truth and you should share it as much as you're comfortable and leave out the parts you don't want to talk about and don't make up things to make them seem better than they are. Y could hear a story of a guy that broke his leg in the middle of the Amazon and didn't think he could get out and in that moment, he decided he was going to change his life and all these major pivotal moments in people's lives. We don't always have those, but we usually have little ones. And the little ones are just as valid to share and perhaps they're even more relatable. 

Marisa Huston  16:21  
Yeah. What makes us memorable when we're telling a story? I would imagine that there is some sort of formula, or components or things that we need to be thinking about when we tell our story.

Lori Dubois  16:34  
I created in a marketing framework, what I call the four R's of storytelling. And this is not in any way, like a formula, if you're writing a book, or even if you're saying okay, you need the characters and then you have to consider the plots and all those other things that people might think about related to storytelling. My four R's are more related to storytelling as a way to get your message across, as a way to connect with people. And so the four R's are relevance, resonance, relatability and the fourth R is remember. I always say, if your story is relevant, and people resonate with the story, then they will want to relate to the storyteller and if you have those three R's, there's a much higher chance they will remember you. If someone tells a story and number one, it's not relevant, it dies right there. And that's why it's important to know your audience because not everyone is going to want to hear everything you have to say.

Marisa Huston  17:40  
Shocker, right, Lori?

Lori Dubois  17:42  
That might be a hard thing to swallow but not everyone's your customer, not everyone's your audience, not everyone's your reader. But it's true. So if it's relevant, and then it really resonates with them and the difference between the resonating and the relating is, if they resonate with the story. Like, I really like this, I can see myself in this, then that's when they want to relate to the storyteller. So those two are similar, but they're not exactly the same. And once they get to that point where they want to relate to you as a storyteller, that's when they remember you, they might tell somebody else about you, they might reach out to you. 

Marisa Huston  18:21  
Speaking of that, Lori, if let's say that you had somebody in your life right now that is sick, and is going through some health challenges or whatnot. And let's say you tune on to a podcast, or you read a blog, or you watch a video about it. And then that individual then goes off on a tangent about something completely different from what you wanted to hear when you got there, because there's a reason why you're there at that moment in time, then you tune off. Because you're like, how does that relate to what I'm feeling right now?  But if the story that you share is something that they're experiencing at this moment in time, it's almost like their ears just sharpen, and then they go, that's me and they get me, now what? Can you help me in some way? Right? So there's this connection that a story can make that you just simply could not do or you might even have a detriment to, if the story goes off on a tangent that you didn't expect?

Lori Dubois  19:21  
Exactly, because let's face it, nobody likes to be tricked. We don't like to feel like we were tricked into something or that something is gimmicky. Nobody likes that feeling.

Marisa Huston  19:32  
Yeah. And it goes back to that authenticity that you were talking about. It really just needs to be honest and true. And people can tell. You can really tell something when it's scripted or contrived versus just authentic. And that authenticity is what really attracts people anyway. What is something that our listeners can do that might help them identify whether they're on the right track with their storytelling or if they need to interject more or perhaps even improve on the storytelling that they're currently sharing with their audience?

Lori Dubois  20:04  
One thing I think that is simple, and anybody can do and that can be interesting is to look at the About Us page of your own website and don't just look at it, read it out loud. And that sounds silly, right? You're sitting in a room by yourself, you go to your own about this page, and you think I already know what this says. But you read it out loud and you think about someone else hearing that and then you think, wow, how does that sound? Number one, does that sound like me? And number two, is it dry and boring or does it sound somewhat interesting? And did I sound like a real person? Did I sound like somebody? Because we know who we want our audience to be. So if that audience, if they're reading this about page or this homepage, and they go through it, did we actually say something that is going to resonate with them? And if we don't know, that means we don't know our audience. But if we really know them, we should know what resonates with them and we should be able to wrap them into our story. 

Marisa Huston  21:11  
Yes, what you're saying is look at it through the lens of the other person that is receiving the information. Because we get so engrossed in our own story, that we don't really see what they see. 

Lori Dubois  21:25  
Yes. And the other thing is, pay attention to the feedback you get from people. If you put out a website and you get feedback, that's negative, or feedback, that's positive, pay attention to that. We all have blind spots where we can't see something. So if we say something, and it is sharing too much information for our average person, we'll probably ended up getting some feedback about that. But you're right, looking through the filter of another person, a potential customer or somebody else reading your stuff, are they going to get that? And it doesn't always have to be a warm, fuzzy feeling but it does need to be a feeling of relatability. If there's no likability at all, even if they're buying a refrigerator. I mean, let's make it as unsexy as possible. They're buying a refrigerator or furnace or something like that. It seems like it doesn't matter whether or not they like the person. But if you go to a company page, and this is becoming more and more true, people care about the values of the company that they're doing business with.

Marisa Huston  22:32  
It is becoming more and more important. And I would say too, I think it's important to collaborate with other people, because we all have friends that we can count on to say, hey, can you just take a look at this and tell me what is missing? Maybe there's something I can improve? Can you help me? People love to help other people and there's nothing wrong with getting a different perspective and asking maybe your business friends or even people that you trust to just reach out to them and say, I'd really love your honest feedback. This will be helping me improve my offerings to my audience. And so that way, you're kind of setting yourself up to get a different perspective. Because again, we're so connected to what we do and passionate about what we do that sometimes we can't really see what other people see. And it's important to get that perspective. By the way, I think it's also important to get the perspective from people that you think are your ideal audience. Because you could ask a friend, but if they're not your ideal audience, they may be looking at it differently as well. So try to get feedback from the exact people that you're trying to reach. 

Lori Dubois  23:39  
Yes. And current customers, past customers. Customers usually love to be asked for feedback. I mean, that's what reviews are all about. If you had a customer, and you made some changes to any of your messaging at all, or you had a little story, you wanted to put that on your homepage on the website, if you asked a customer or two to please look at it, they would probably feel so honored that you respected them enough and their opinion to even ask in the first place and they would probably also be very honest. 

Marisa Huston  24:12  
Yeah, I think so. It's the best form of flattery. Just asking somebody's opinion, matters. And I think it's another way to connect with your audience, your customers, prospects. How do people get a hold of you and learn more about what you can do to help them?

Lori Dubois  24:30  
They can go to my website, which is www.marketingtroubadour.com, and they can also find me on social media. I am on Instagram, as marketing troubadour, I am on Facebook, and I also have the free Facebook group and it's called The Troubadour Collective, so you can just look that up. You can join this group that is free and it's entrepreneurs. So anyone who's a business owner who works in a business and it's all geared about marketing and branding just business owners supporting each other and some training about marketing and strategy to help people because sometimes as an entrepreneur, you feel pretty lonely. 

Marisa Huston  25:11  
And many times we just don't know who to talk to because you're thinking you're on your own, you gotta come up with your own ideas. I think it's super valuable. Thank you so much, Lori, for being here with us. 

Lori Dubois  25:22  
Thank you for having me. This was very fun. 

Marisa Huston  25:25  
That's a wrap for this episode of Live Blissed Out. Thanks for listening and thanks to Lori Dubois for joining us on the show. If you have a question or comment for a future episode, all you have to do is go to www.speakpipe.com/lbovm or click the link in the show notes to leave a brief audio message. If you find value in our show, please visit www.liveblissedout.com to reach out, subscribe and share on social media. This show is made possible through listeners like you. Thank you. So long for now and remember to keep moving forward!