097 - High-performance isn't about "doing more"

Marisa Huston  0:03  
Welcome to Episode 97 on the Live Blissed Out podcast. Did you know that we have six to 10,000 thoughts a day and 90% of those are repetitive? Hello, action taker. Welcome to Live Blissed Out. A podcast where I have inspirational and informational conversations with business owners and subject matter experts to help you get the scoop on a variety of topics. Tired of hesitating or making decisions without having the big picture? Wanna be in the know? Then this is the place to go. I'm your host Marisa Huston. Helping you achieve bliss through awareness and action. So let's get to it. In this episode, Haley Kalani shares why high performance isn't about doing more. Haley is a creative self mastery coach who lives life in pursuit of bringing not only her dreams but others into reality. She's forever felt a deep longing for satisfaction, excitement and playfulness in everyday life. That's what drives her curiosity and high performance lifestyle. To learn more, visit www.hkalaniconsulting.com. 

Disclaimer  1:12  
The information opinions and recommendations presented in this podcast are for general information only. And any reliance on the information provided in this podcast is done at your own risk. This podcast should not be considered professional advice. 

Marisa Huston  1:25  
Haley, welcome to the show!

Haylee Kalani  1:27  
Thank you so much, Marisa. I'm seriously stoked to be here. Even our pre show conversation was amazing. I remember the last time we spoke was amazing. So what can you expect from this time, of course?

Marisa Huston  1:38  
Haylee, I feel the same way. What exactly are we talking about and how can we provide value to our listeners?

Haylee Kalani  1:44  
The gist of what we're going to be talking about is self mastery, in a sense. And oftentimes, when I say self mastery to people or say high performance to people, it reminds them of maybe burn out. There's a lot of negative associations that can come up with those two words. The approach that I like to take is a creative approach. I believe that everything in life always comes back to some form of creativity. So that's what we're going to be diving into.

Marisa Huston  2:13  
Creativity is something that everybody thinks oh, being creative is easy. You just have fun and you figure things out. There are certain characteristics that are necessary in order to apply that. I also think that many times we don't associate creativity with business. And when we're thinking business, we're thinking very rigid. We got to follow this process, and we can't think outside the box. We just got to follow a system. Then we give up on that creativity. We don't really utilize it to the best of our ability to help us with whatever goal we set for ourselves in the business world.

Haylee Kalani  2:48  
Yeah, you know what some of us don't feel like we're really creative. But I do think everybody is built to be creative at a baseline level. I think that everybody has a very strong creative ability and I'll kind of get to what that means and what creativity actually means to me. But I do think that it's inside of all of us but it's been in a way suppressed. And the way that I think about creativity is acts of creativity. We can write, we can draw. I think skateboarding is creative, writing, baking. There's infinite forms of acting through creativity. But really, at the base or core of what creativity is, is thinking differently.  And we always hear, like, think outside the box. That's creativity. And thinking differently, or expansively as I often refer to it is breaking down these limiting walls that had been put up over time. The easiest way I can relate that to everybody is think about when you were a kid, or if you're just around kids. They are everywhere, all the time in their own head. I used to live in my own world as a kid and still kind of do. All the time as a kid I loved being really introspective. I loved to just play and pretend and living in my own world. And kids do that all the time. They don't really think twice about it because of that creativity that playfulness. To me, creativity, playfulness, and experimentation are all one and the same and all three of those really lead to more productivity. Which leads me into what you were saying your second point of businesses don't really take creativity very seriously. Or if they do, it's just in their marketing department. Or maybe for their team meetings. They have a party or show often. It doesn't take a front seat approach. But the CEO of Whole Foods. I was listening to a podcast, he was on Joe Rogan's podcast and he had mentioned that the core of all business is innovation, and innovation can't happen without creativity. So because of that we need creative people. We need people to nurture that side of creativity that they already have inside of themselves that's been suppressed through school, through jobs, through society through whole bunch of stuff that's created this internal resistance through various forms. Procrastination, self sabotage, all the stuff that the mindfulness gurus are talking about these days. They stem from a lack of creativity. So that's really important in business because if we can interject that and start to teach people how to transform into the most creative, productive, masterful version of themselves, then not only will our personal lives be transformed by that, but everybody's life around us. Our co workers, our boss, if we run our own business, and we're entrepreneurs, our own business and the people that we help our clients. And so it really leaks into every area of our life and for that, I think it's one of the number one things businesses should focus on.

Marisa Huston  5:48  
The word nurture is really what stands out to me. Yes, we all have our own creativity inside of us, that just needs to be brought out. But some of us have hid it for so long, that it's difficult. So for example, I get fascinated when I watch YouTube channel, and they talk about hacks, like how they hack certain things. And they come up with these ideas that I'm like, oh, my goodness, I've been using that thing for years and I never thought to use it in that way. And then you start to wonder, how do these people come up with this, right? Because I could be sitting there looking at an item and asking myself, how do I repurpose this or use this in a different way and I can never end up where they did. And so what are some things that people who are having difficulty being creative, what can they do to nurture that so that they can think more outside the box and look further than what's in front of them?

Haylee Kalani  6:43  
Yeah, absolutely. You said it perfectly. When you look at somebody else, and they created something. Woah! That is wild. How did the heck did you come up with that? It's amazing. Because a lot of the time we look at other people and compare ourselves, it can make us think that I could never do that, that's just not the way that my brain works or anything. It's important to know that yeah, sometimes you're totally right. One, there are skills that you can learn for sure and you can get better at and again, nurture, that word comes up again. But at the same time, work with your natural given strengths. There's a creative strength that you have that maybe you don't know yet, or maybe you haven't really utilized in a while, like a muscle that got atrophied. But it's still there.  It still works. So finding what that is, and really pushing towards archetype territory or personality trait territory. Where I'm a big believer in that work in the way that your brain functions best. I was diagnosed with ADHD, I don't necessarily like to put labels on it, because I'm fully functioning and capable of everything. But there are definitely things that I have to work around because of that. But I work with it rather than against it instead of trying to force myself to stay focused for three, four hours at a time. You know, I adjust, I take play breaks, I do what I need to. So same thing with creativity. If you're pushing yourself into a creative direction, or really any sort of project or task or something that's going against your natural flow or way of being neurologically, then it's gonna be a lot more difficult. You're gonna have a lot less fun doing it. So that really takes the whole performance and purpose out of the task in the first place.

Marisa Huston  8:23  
Yeah. And so then first, we have to identify what our strengths are, and play to our strengths. But then if there's something that we really dread, or things that we just don't feel comfortable doing, there's nothing wrong with getting help with those parts, so that we don't have to put ourselves in a situation where we're doing something we absolutely despise doing.

Haylee Kalani  8:45  
Yeah, absolutely. It's really comes down to awareness. Figuring out, okay, what feels like, yes, and what feels like, no. And saying to ourselves, really coming back into the present when we're faced with a situation or a project or whatever it may be, and we're dreading it time after time after time. There's probably something that we can do to aid in that situation, based off of our personality, or the way that we naturally like to work to support doing that more effectively. And if it's something that we do like, doing that more often. Whether it's work related or non work related. Both of those are key, and they play into one another. A lot of time we separate our life into buckets, and we pretend that they don't touch. But that's not the way that life works. We're for sure interconnected. What I do at work directly affects how I am at home because I'm the same person at the core when I go to work and when I come home. So because of that, it's important to be aware of all of these situations. Whether you're just doing something for fun, like a hobby and you're fueling your creative side that way, or whether you're using it to brainstorm and help your team on a project.

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Marisa Huston  10:36  
What is the difference between creative and artistic? So for example, if you look at a basic person who likes to do arts and crafts, right? There are people that can take tools, put things together and create something, but they don't really create it from scratch. They kind of utilize the resources that they have, and then make something out of it. And then there are those that just blow your mind with what they create out of nothing from scratch. They just develop something completely unique that nobody's ever seen before. In my mind, I think of them as more artists. They're not just creating. They have this vision that other people don't seem to have. From a business perspective are we okay, utilizing just the creative side? Do we have to be artistic where we create this mind blowing concept? Or are we still getting some benefit out of using just basic creativity in our day to day business dealings?

Haylee Kalani  11:30  
Oh, my gosh, I'm so excited you brought this up and brought it up in the way that you did because I'm like, giddy over all of what you just said. So essentially, it really comes back to the creative archetype that you are. Because like you said, there's a difference between the label, let's say artistic and the label, innovator. And then we have arts and crafts, hobbies. They both fall under creativity, for sure. Because even people who are resourceful and just doing DIY projects on the side or making some scrapbooks, it's definitely creative. It's a different way of thinking, different way of organizing. It's very visual. Definitely a act oriented, creative way of being. And then we have people who their creative outlet is ideas. They constantly think of ideas. I'm a bit more on that side. I do make music and part of that music creation is, I love to think of what the song sounds like, before I start pressing buttons. In that regard, it comes back to an archetype thing, a creative personality in a sense. Some people are really good at being the innovator and some people are really good at supporting the innovator in creating and being resourceful, and bringing the right things and putting all the vision together. A perfect example is, I have a business partner, co founder of a company called CNH and we do a lot of creative work. And one of our co founders, his name's Kale. He is like the innovator, visionary, dude. I'm very similar to him in that sense, but he sees things before I would ever see them. And so he'll bring them to me and then with my creativity, I go in and say, oh, I'm starting to piece together your vision. Here's how I can map out how to actually make it work in real life, bring it to 3d. Take what's in your brain and actually put it into the real world. And that's what I've been doing ever since I was a kid. And it took me a long time to realize that. It was a lot of reflection and figuring myself out, which I think we still do every day. It really comes down to that. And so I can support kale, kale can support me. And then there's people like our third co founder, Megan. Megan is the head of Dope Productions, which is the media company under CNH. And she is go to media, making things happen, like actually producing, editing, filming, all of the hands on work that we need. I could never do that. Or if I wanted to, it'd take me a long time, and I probably wouldn't like it very much. So again, it's going back to that. I'm not resisting that area. I could work on it if I wanted to. I love video, but I don't think I could work on it the way that she does, because she loves it. She's naturally great at it. And vice versa. She wouldn't want to do what I do. I wouldn't want to do it kale does, and it goes all the way around. But we make an amazing team because of that. And so because of that teamwork, that's where it really brings it into business as well. Or your personal life right, with your friends or family.

Marisa Huston  14:25  
Yeah, I look at it like pieces of a puzzle. They just all fit together to make a whole. And that's really how people are built anyway. That's why we're all so different and what makes it so fascinating is you could meet a person that is just the other side of you and compliments you so well and you work together really well for that reason. And if you don't know someone like that, you can hire somebody like that. But the bottom line is you got to first be self aware, figure out where you work your best and where you're happiest. And then from there you can start to identify, okay, what are the areas that I need support with? 

Haylee Kalani  15:00  
Exactly. 

Marisa Huston  15:01  
Given that what is perhaps an exercise or activity that our listeners could try out or implement that might help them get closer to nurturing their creative side?

Haylee Kalani  15:14  
Yeah, well, I first want to acknowledge that there are a plethora. And the one that I'm going to share today, to me is one of the easiest, if not one of the most important, just first steps. What I would say, is the Triple D Method, the daily ding dong. And it sounds funny, and it sounds silly, because it is funny, it is silly, and it should be playful. That's the way I like to approach homework. Who wants to say that's homework? It's a daily ding dong. And what that is, is really a check in. It's a moment with yourself as a good friend, as a good neighbor, right? It's your going up to your vessel, right, your house, so to speak, which is your own body, your mind, your soul, whatever you want to call it. And you're going ding dong, hello! Just want to check in with you. How are you doing? And really reflecting on how you feel in the moment, not past not future, right in the present. And acknowledging, if you're feeling a little on downside, or if you're feeling really great. Whatever it is just acknowledging it. Acknowledging it without judgment. Okay, this is how I'm feeling. And then flipping the script into ok. How should my highest self feel? How should my most productive self feel? If I was a mother or a father? Like how should the best parent in the world feel right now? And then I would embody those feelings and attach words to them, right? Like, grateful. And I understand that for a lot of people who's asking me to feel something when I don't feel it, if I'm anxious, and you want me to feel grateful, or I'm anxious and you want me to feel calm. It's kind of hard. It is. But neurologically, it's 100% possible because your brain doesn't know what's happening externally versus what's happening internally. It doesn't really know what's real in your external environment. It's just perceptions. And so they did a study. Maybe you've heard of this, maybe you haven't but piano players. They play piano, they measure the brain, certain part of their brain lights up, they take away the pianos, they ask them to pretend to play piano, same part of their brain lights up. When we're talking about checking in getting to the root of how you're feeling now. One will start to instantly calm me down, because you're letting your brain know, hey, this is what's going on. Like, there's nothing to be afraid of. It's just anxiety, like, I it's here. And then we move forward with, alright, cool, now that we've done that, looking back and be like, okay, gratitude. I either think about a memory where I was extremely grateful, like going in the past, or I envision a scenario or situation in the future, where I'm extremely grateful. Or attach any keyword that you want to grateful, excited, playful, humble, creative, smart, capable, confident, whatever you want. And you start to go through those just for 30 seconds, or 30 minutes. It's something very small, something doable. I would personally recommend doing it in the morning, if you just do it once. And if you do it for multiple times, that's even better. And spreading it throughout the day, you know, morning, afternoon, evening, for example.

Marisa Huston  18:16  
It kind of reminds me of ringing the doorbell. You just ring the doorbell and say, okay, it's doorbell time. And now you're checking in on yourself and making sure that you are on the right path. Because oftentimes we fall off the path for whatever reason. We might have negative feelings or something happened and now we're feeling down. And so it's almost like a mini meditation, I guess.

Haylee Kalani  18:37  
Yeah. It's so quick, so simple. And it really doesn't require a whole lot. You can do it anywhere and it's not something that you have to close your eyes and sit down for. But if you have a moment with yourself anywhere, you can do this. 

Marisa Huston  18:49  
And I think it's so necessary because we get so distracted by the million things that are on our mind. And it forces you to kind of sit back and think and just reflect. And by the way, gratitude to me is so critical. It's a word that I just love, because there's so much to be grateful for regardless of any challenges. Because all of us have those. I mean, that's a given. I don't think anybody goes through life without dealing with a challenge at any given time. But then if we're fixated on that, rather than being grateful for the things that we have, then we tend to become hard on ourselves and very negative about things. And so doing this exercise will help us kind of steer our minds into a more positive state. 

Haylee Kalani  19:31  
Yes. And imagine having those frustrated feelings of stress and like anxiety or whatever negative word you want to use while you're working or the night before or when you wake up before you go to work. It directly goes back to business as well. And it can be done in multiple areas of your life because it spreads across multiple areas of your life. 

Marisa Huston  19:54  
Oh, it totally does. And it can really bring you down and you need to try to lift yourself up at every opportunity. I like to think that I surround myself with people that help lift me up. And I like to do the same, because it just brings so much positivity and hope. It makes you happy and gives you this initiative to solve problems and do good things rather than feel down and hopeless, because that's really not going to help us move forward. Think about what the positive possibilities are, rather than being down on things at this moment in time.

Haylee Kalani  20:28  
Yes, exactly. And not to get on too much of a tangent here but what you just said at the end, too, is when we are thinking of all of these unpleasant sensations, we'll put it. Throughout the days, weeks, months, whenever they happen, as we ruminate on them, they get bigger and bigger, and they create more problems in the future, subconsciously. And a lot of the times, those are the things that happened to be in the way of moving forward as you said. Creativity and awareness are key here. But in order to be creative you gotta be aware.  So at the baseline of everything this is number one. 

Marisa Huston  20:28  
Exactly what I'm thinking. How do people learn more about how you can help them with all this, Haylee?

Haylee Kalani  20:52  
Thanks for giving me that opportunity and thanks for having this conversation. This is really fun. I love talking about creativity and self mastery in a way that is a positive and fun and playful and exciting for people, in a way that they might not have heard it before. People can have a self mastery session with me. It's no cost at all to you. The investment for us just being present and committing to yourself for 15 minutes that, hey, I'm here to grow, to learn, to see what's up and then to commit to doing something that serves my desires, that serves my purpose, whatever that may mean to you. That would be the best way and that's just on my website. So www.hkalaniconsulting.com. It'll be right there.

Marisa Huston  21:56  
I know our listeners are gonna get a lot out of what we talked about. I appreciate you being here. Thanks, Haylee!

Haylee Kalani  22:01  
Yes, thank you so much, Marisa. I really appreciate it.

Marisa Huston  22:05  
That's a wrap for this episode of Live Blissed Out. Thanks for listening and thanks to Haylee Kalani for joining us on the show. If you have a question or comment for a future episode, all you have to do is go to www.speakpipe.com/lbovm, or click the link in the show notes to leave a brief audio message. If you find value in our show, please visit www.liveblissedout.com to reach out, subscribe and share on social media. This show is made possible through listeners like you. Thank you. So long for now and remember to keep moving forward!