082 - Life Transforming Change With Horses

Marisa Huston  0:00  
Welcome to Episode 82 on the Live Blissed Out podcast. Did you know that goats can do animal assisted learning and coaching work as well as teach people about courage, play and curiosity? Hello, action taker. Welcome to Live Blissed Out. A podcast where I have inspirational and informational conversations with business owners and subject matter experts to help you get the scoop on a variety of topics. Tired of hesitating or making decisions without having the big picture? Wanna be in the know? Then this is the place to go. I'm your host Marisa Huston. Helping you achieve bliss through awareness and action. So let's get to it. Joining us is Kate Neligan, an equine partnered coach, healer and animal communicator whose life's work is devoted to the human animal bond. Kate pairs her intuitive gifts with those of the horses to help people access their own inner power and connect to their life purpose. Kate has been a best selling author, TEDx speaker, corporate marketing VP and Huffington Post writer. She has a master's in spiritual psychology and is certified in equine experiential education in equine coaching sessions. She facilitates life changing transformation with horses and humans around the country. In animal communication sessions, she bridges humans and their beloved pets for conversations and healings that sparked positive change. To learn more, visit Kate's website at www.consciousrockstar.com. Great to have you on the show today, Kate!

Kate Neligan  1:31  
Thanks so much for having me. 

Marisa Huston  1:33  
I'm really looking forward to talking to you about the human animal bond. And in particular, we're talking about horses and goats, too, which is really going to be a fun conversation to have. I'm so intrigued by what you do, because this isn't something you hear about all the time. And there might be people out there listening at the moment that go, I didn't even know such a thing existed. Like what are you talking about? What is that human animal bond and why does it matter to us? 

Kate Neligan  2:02  
So traditionally, people have heard of animals that are therapy animals, or emotional support animals. People may have heard of equine therapy, therapeutic riding. And what I do is a little different in the sense that it's life coaching, but with horses outside in nature. And it really goes into the heart of the human animal bond, which we see with our pets, usually. But horses provide a really different experience, because they're huge, right? They're 1200 pounds, and they help people get really present and really, in the moment, really in their bodies, and their hearts are five times the size of ours. So they immediately kind of put us into this space of connection to our heart. Often emotion can come up and so what happens usually really quickly through the bond, people are on the ground with them doing exercises, there's no riding, and they're looking eye to eye with this incredible, beautiful being. And there's a lot that comes up for people. And so through that bond through that love, there's really a transformative power that takes over. And so often traditional therapists will refer to equine practitioners in this space, because the horses get to the heart of the matter really quickly. We call them BS detectors, because they are really great at mirroring to us our stuff. And they have a way of reading humans that they've had for a very long time because they've evolved alongside of us. And in many ways, horses have always been really the way that they powered society. Because they've carried us they took us through war, they've been our transportation. Recent years, they've been more sport and entertainment. And really their highest purpose in my opinion, is they are here to teach us their ways of being, their ways of staying present, staying connected, and they have a lot to offer us. So the human animal matters. Especially it matters with horses, because there's a lot we can learn from them. And they have a map and a way of being that we can apply to our lives and we can become better versions of ourselves through that. 

Marisa Huston  4:13  
Listening to you, I was thinking of the bond that human beings have with all kinds of animals. And horses, of course, have been a huge part of that. And it's amazing how many movies are out there with horses in them. It's incredible. We're not just talking about westerns, There are so many movies that have stories of people whose lives have been changed because of horses. What makes horses so particularly wonderful?

Kate Neligan  4:41  
So I view them as partners. I view them as sentient beings. I view them as master teachers. I definitely always want to use the language that I work with them or I partner with them rather than I use them, because we have used horses unfortunately for a very long time and we've never really given horses a voice or a choice in so many of the things that we've done with them. So this work is really different. I work with a horse herd. They're out on pasture and achorage. They can leave anytime they want. They're not forced into this work. They're not really being used. It's actually something that I love watching. They come up, and they want to participate in sessions. They want to go meditate with a client or sit with a client or help a client heal or love a client. So it's a really beautiful symbiotic relationship, where as they're helping people to heal, and they're teaching people, they have this beautiful sense of pride, I think that shines through from them. I could coach and I do coach virtually without horses. And that is still part of my business and who I am. But I find that the coaching is more powerful with them there because people open up. And because horses offer so much of their own unique energy that we can't get as humans, because we have judgment, and we have filter. And the horses are really non judgmental. And they're really powerful, because they are so big and people have to come into that present moment so they stay safe around them. And because horses have an evolved communication system. They're very intuitive. They've had to learn to read humans to survive. And their prey animals and we're predators. And so if you even just looking at that dynamic, the fact that they trust us, when we're congruent, when we're clear, when we're in our hearts is a really beautiful thing for us to learn and for us to take away. So people often have big aha moments when they're learning from a horse more so than they would from a human because we're so used to human human interactions. But that human animal bond really puts us into a place where we see the love from the animal, we see the compassion from them. And we realize that we can have that for ourselves. We don't have to be so hard on ourselves. I work with a lot of women that in business or in life, they're hard on themselves, and they're judging themselves. So this really takes the whole relationship skills, especially the self love and self care relationship skills to another level. So I definitely feel like horses are my partners. That's why I actually call myself an equine partnered coach, rather than a lot of people in the space that they may use the language of horses or tools, they use horses. And I just find that that language doesn't really honor the horse at the highest level, because they are their own beings with their own decision making capabilities and their own sentience, really, and their own skills and gifts. And sometimes I believe those skills and gifts are actually more evolved than ours, especially on the emotional intelligence side and the energy intelligence side. And we have a lot to learn about those two things, I think as humans. 

Marisa Huston  7:38  
Oh, I love that perspective, Kate. And honestly, we don't think about it, because the animals don't talk to us. We don't ask horses who they want to live with or what they want to do. We tend to just assume that they follow along whatever we say they should do. We don't give them the opportunity to do what it is they want. So the fact that you're letting those horses interact with their own freewill, and that you respect the fact that they are their own beings, and they have their own personalities and they also think and feel and do things that we as humans forget that they do because we don't have that same connection in terms of communicating with them, because we can't have a dialogue with them, right? But we communicate with them in different ways. And I think it's a different way of looking at it and respecting the horse for what it brings to the table as its own being. 

Kate Neligan  8:28  
Exactly. And as we learn really more respect to the animals, we respect ourselves more, we respect the planet more, and we're all interconnected. So it's really important that we start to bring some mindfulness to our relationships with animals, and give them more credit and more consideration too.  Because even the wild animals. When we see a squirrel outside, and it makes you smile, it's like something to feel that gratitude in your heart and to take a moment and to just honor the animals in your house, the animals outside. They're here with us, and they are communicating. We have to just tap into their world to really be able to learn from them. 

Marisa Huston  9:10  
They're speaking a language, but it's a different language to most of us, and we're not getting it. So most of us just ignore it or don't really see it for what it is. And that is that mindfulness. Being aware that these animals are just wonderful creatures that have so much to offer, that we need to appreciate them and be grateful for them. Animals have some sort of emotional intelligence as well that we don't know about. You're an expert, but many of us who do not associate with animals on a daily basis, particularly horses, because many of us are familiar with cats and dogs and how they behave. I'd like to talk about how we can utilize that emotional intelligence in our lives. 

Kate Neligan  9:51  
So when I think of emotional intelligence, I think of the different soft skills or qualities that we can grow. So things like trust, compassion, presence, mindfulness, loving nature, these different ways that we can really grow our bonds with each other and with ourselves. And so through learning from horses and the human animal bond, we can start to really grow on those qualities. We can become better versions of ourselves. We can also apply the teachings to business and to life. So for instance, especially with horses, whether you're leading a horse around on the ground with a lead rope and a halter or at liberty with no tack, you can learn a lot about your leadership style. Are you more aggressive? Or are you more assertive? Are you more passive? Are you begging the horse? Are you pushing the horse? And all of a sudden, we see how we do things, right? And we have this belief, how we do one thing is how we do anything. And so the approach to even just meeting a horse starts to bring up a lot for people. Do they get a hello back and do they feel good about it? Does the horse ignore them, and then they have a story around self worth that surfaces? So there's a lot that we can do in real time, because it's experiencial education, and people then start to see things about themselves. Some things that they like some things they may not like. But it's really a lot of truth about where they're at. And then they can choose to change it in real time. So if they are too aggressive, and it's something they don't feel great about, it's learning to first use the emotional intelligence with acceptance. That this is just something that you've learned or it's been role model to you. But how would a horse do it differently? How would a horse use clear communication, use boundaries, use honesty, to start to communicate how it needs to move and how it needs to lead. Because a herd of horses is very connected. They have a beautiful hierarchy that they all respect. And just because one horse is more of a leader doesn't mean that that horse is better. It just means that that horse is able to care for the entire group. So there's a lot we can learn from individual horses, and also from a herd of horses, because of how they survive on the planet, how they work, what their innate intelligence is, and how their species really governs themselves. So we can apply a lot of that to our lives. You know, one of my favorite things is that horses are both really strong, because they're so big. And they're also really gentle. Because you can be with a cat or a small child, and they are not going to push that being over. They will touch their noses, and they'll be very gentle. So we especially as women can really learn to blend those two skills, strength and power and bigness with gentleness and softness and kindness. And we don't always have great role models for that in the human world. We've been taught to hustle or we've been taught to push. And as women, we sometimes have learned masculine ways of operating. But really, the horses show us that both are important, but how to blend them. And so I find often that people have new experiences of confidence. They find that they get calmer. They see the value in staying calm. They learn how to slow down their minds and use more of their hearts, more of their bodies. And they come into the present moment, which is really where their power is. And so there's a lot of learning that horsepower from horses, and we can apply that then directly to our lives into our businesses. That is where I come in as a coach is to really be a translator or bridge or a guide or facilitator to connect the dots between what are you learning from this horse? And that how does that apply to your relationship with your husband or to your relationship with work? And how might you change things over the next couple of weeks to implement this new way of being or a different type of action plan. So it really goes very nicely together.

Marisa Huston  13:45  
We rely so much on verbal communication. Like you and I are talking now verbally because we are not seeing each other. There's no way for you to read me outside of the sound of my voice or what I'm saying and vice versa. But when you're interacting with a horse, you're not speaking to them in a verbal language that we as humans know how to use. But they are communicating in a different way. And through that way we can see ourselves differently so that we can figure out how to communicate outside of that verbal realm that we're so used to communicating in right?

Kate Neligan  14:18  
Exactly, that's really well said. And the point to to that is it is about body language. And body language is something like 90% of our communication. But we don't always think about that, because we do rely so much on our voices. But our energy, how we show up in the room, right? Whether we're holding frustration from two days ago, or whether we're in the moment and open to possibility, you know, that is there and that's communicated. And also our body posture and if our hearts are closed, or if they're more open. All of that actually being communicated to others. And what happens is the horses start to expose a lot of that. And so if someone's really closed or really guarded a horse may not approach at all.  And then we have a conversation about that. And you know what's great is that we can't always have these conversations role playing with other humans, but we can when we're out in nature. And it feels safe for people. People open up a lot more because it's such a unique experience learning from a horse.

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Marisa Huston  15:52  
People who have pets even at home, they talk to their animals all the time. And it's funny how the animals know certain words too. So when you tell them something, they know, like, go get the ball. It's amazing how we find ways to interact with the animals that we love. Animals change our lives. And so, horses are just another wonderful creature that we don't get to keep inside our houses. And we don't interact with necessarily all the time unless you are really into horses and have them as part of your life. So this is a unique situation for people to be able to interact with these creatures that are just incredible and beautiful. As a coach, you talked about bridging that connection between horses and the humans that you help. With that I'm sure that you give people things to perhaps try or practice on that may help them get a sense of how horses are impacting them and helping them learn about themselves and bettering themselves as well. Would you share one of those activities or things that you would recommend maybe to our listeners to try so that they can get a sense of exactly how your process works? 

Kate Neligan  17:02  
Yes, and this is where that bliss piece comes in. Which I love the name of this podcast. Because when we slow down and we become in the present moment where the animals live, unless an animal is in pain, or they've had a lot of trauma, for the most part, they live in a very peaceful, calm, blissful space. And we can tap into that at any moment. And there's two great ways to do that, that I would encourage anyone to do with their animal at home, or next time they need a horse even. And it really is the connection of the breath. And then also the heart. The breath is our life force. So if you were to take your nose and put it close to your animal's nose and just sort of breathe with them. Just slowing down into the moment, and just taking a couple refreshing breaths of just breathing and connecting. And supposedly with horses, if you breathe with them, they will remember your scent. And you create a deeper bond. Because that's how horses actually bond with each other. They'll breathe nose to nose often with each other. And a lot happens through their sense of smell. So this is something for you to do is just to start to breathe. Because how often do we even take conscious breath. 

Marisa Huston  18:16  
That's so true! We're always rush, rush, rush, do more stuff!

Kate Neligan  18:20  
Exactly. And the other is really this heart piece. Because a lot of emotional intelligence does really come from the heart. A lot of our answers, and our guidance or insight or intuition can also come from the heart. And so just placing a hand on your own heart, and then your other hand on an animal's heart. Or if the animal doesn't feel totally comfortable with that placing it nearby or somewhere on their body and just really connecting heart to heart. Especially horses, their brains are very different from ours. So they're not thinking beings, they're feeling beings. If something feels good, they will do it. And if it doesn't, they're usually out of there. They don't force themselves to do a job they hate. And so we have a lot to learn from that heart connection. So that's another piece is literally just even for 30 seconds to feel your own heart, and to consciously breathe and then to feel the animal's heart. And it will create a bond. It lets the animal know that you have the intention of connecting heart to heart and really seeing them more. Being there. And you can even run a statement like I am so grateful for you. And the animal feels that. They receive that. The animals don't usually have blocks to receiving the way that humans do because they don't think I should do this or I shouldn't. That's not their lives. That's our lives. And so what's really neat is those shoulds can fall away and we can really get into that moment of bond and that moment of love and that bridge and a lot can happen in that space. It's a really emotionally tender space. But it's a safe space. 

Marisa Huston  19:50  
What are some misconceptions that people have about what you do. Because there are always people that are going yeah, really are horses going to really be able to help me the way she's explaining it? What is perhaps a barrier that is stopping people from giving this a try. Like really trying to get a sense of how this can help them as individuals as business owners. 

Kate Neligan  20:12  
So on the individual side, one of the barriers is often people's fear of horses. Whether they've fallen off as a kid, or they had a bad experience with a horse, they don't trust them. They're scared of their size. They're afraid they're gonna get run over. All these pieces. And a horse can be dangerous, the way a car can be dangerous, or the way lots of different things can be. But horses don't have an intention to hurt us. What happens a lot of times is I actually love working with people who have fear of horses, because then as they face it in the arena, they can bring that back to their lives and face fear there. And they learn how to self soothe through fear, they learn how to build confidence, they learn how to stay connected to themselves. We really work through that. And then they start to see that just because something has a lot of power, doesn't mean it's going to misuse its power. And that's a really powerful moment for a lot of people. It can cause major breakthroughs actually. I've had a lot of people bust through fear of horses. So that's one thing. On the company side or the business side, experiential education is still somewhat new, so to speak, right? But there's so much power in using all of your senses when you learn. So working with art, or music. This is more powerful than just listening to a PowerPoint inside a conference room. And a lot of kind of traditional leadership coaching is more that. It's more mind to mind. And we might find it interesting, but then it doesn't stick or it doesn't really get applied to our lives. And what I love about the horses is because you're using all of your senses in real time and talking about solutions, it can shift people really quickly. So all the companies that have worked, where they're like, oh, my god, that was amazing, I still remember that. And they have these crystal memories and visions of what happened in that session. So it's really pretty neat. Companies sometimes have a harder time just because it's not a traditional approach to learning. And they have to often try it, and trust me and trust the experience of it. And then they're always happy. And they always want to come back. And there's great results. But it's a little bit of...you have to trust it first, and you have to try it to actually see the benefit. It's a little bit of a leap of faith for people. But it really does work. Because if you just think about kinesthetic or experiential learning, it really is using all your senses. And it is more powerful to actually experience new things. And also it removes the barriers. People start talking very quickly and very openly because they're outside in nature, and they're in the human animal bond space. It's powerful, but people do have to trust it. 

Marisa Huston  22:42  
And I think that part of that trust is already there. Because we all have experiences with animals on some level. And so when you think about what your dog does in your home, and why you have a dog and how much you love them and your cat, or even when you take kids to the little petting zoo, and you see how they interact with the animals, and they're laughing, and they're so happy and they just love petting them and being around them. These are ingrained in our memories. And that doesn't change even as adults. Animals have a huge impact on our emotions, on our lives. And that's why we love them so much. I'm sure we can all point to a memory that we've had of a particular animal that just made a smile. So for example, one of my favorites is a manatee. And so I remember going and seeing the manatees when I visited Florida, and it just impacted me. I was like I was so excited to just be around my favorite animal. So it's that feeling I think that sticks with you. It is very much an action oriented type of coaching program. To your point, we read books, and then we get the information, we go, Oh, that's great, I loved it. And then you never apply it. You forget all about it, and you move on to the next one. And you can read a lot of books, but unless you really take them to heart and start to put some of these things into practice, they're not really going to help you much. And so I think that that shouldn't be undermined in terms of the impact that what you do can do to help people. 

Kate Neligan  24:05  
Yes, I totally agree with all that. And I love the manatee piece. I can picture that. 

Marisa Huston  24:10  
And I'm sure we all have favorite animals. Like you know, the stories of people, let's say who travel to Australia and you see a Koala for the first time or you see a Kangaroo for the first time, right? You think about it. It's just impactful for people. They never forget those moments. We have these memories, they may be good, they may not be so good. But at the end of the day animals really impact us. There's something about them that sticks with us. And I just love the fact that you're using horses to help people see themselves in a way that they wouldn't normally be able to and communicate in a way that is different from what they're used to. 

Kate Neligan  24:46  
Yes, well said. And it really is that impact. And what's so interesting is memories are there across our whole lives. And so a lot of what I do with clients is actually we're going back sometimes and I'm not therapists, but it is very much a therapeutic experience where we will go and heal old memories and really work on clearing that out so that we don't believe certain things anymore about ourselves just because we were bullied as a kid. How do we actually come out of that base? Each horse is very different with each human. You could have a horse that's a little more aggressive and then they really want that client to see that the world is not aggressive. And so they're the exact opposite. They're very gentle with that client. And then that client is able to say, okay, the world can change, my views can change. And there's a lot of wonder that happens right around the animals. 

Marisa Huston  25:40  
That's why we have the saying if you fall off a horse, get back on. We use that terminology because we do fall. Life isn't perfect. We make mistakes, we fall down. But the thing is, we have to get back on. Because if we don't, and we never learn.  We never improve. We never grow. And the horse is a perfect example. And I think that's why people use that terminology to say get back on. Don't be afraid because you're gonna fall and just know that it's okay. That that's how we learn and grow and then we just get back on and be better versions of ourselves. 

Kate Neligan  26:12  
Yes. 

Marisa Huston  26:13  
Kate, how do people learn more about your program? 

Kate Neligan  26:17  
My current website is www.consciousrockstar.com, and it will eventually be changing to www.katieneligan.com, and I am also on instagram and facebook. Facebook group is Equine Rockstars, where we have a bunch of horse lovers and Instagram is Kate Nelligan equine coach. You can find me that way. I do individual privates as well as workshops and retreats, and then these team buildings and leadership trainings as well. And I don't just work in Colorado. I also travel. So I usually am in Los Angeles somewhat frequently, and other places around the country as well because I have partnerships with different barns and farms and ranches. And I love helping people also with their own horses. So increasing the horse human connection. If you even have a horse. That's also something I do a lot of is helping people connect more deeply to their horse through kind of seeing and hearing and listening to them better. So those are the ways.

Marisa Huston  27:11  
It was such an enjoyable conversation. Thank you for being here. Kate.

Kate Neligan  27:15  
Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it. 

Marisa Huston  27:18  
That's a wrap for this episode of Live Blissed Out. Thanks for listening and thanks to Kate Neligan for joining us on the show. If you have a question or comment for a future episode, all you have to do is go to www.speakpipe.com/lbovm, or click the link in the show notes to leave a brief audio message. If you find value in our show please visit www.liveblissedout.com to reach out, subscribe and share on social media. This show is made possible through listeners like you. Thank you. So long for now and remember to keep moving forward!