The Dentist: Episode 1

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The Dentist by D C Jackson, Part one. น้องบล่อลายน น้องบล่อลายน น้องบล่อลายน Or is it one blue line? Or two blue lines? What am I looking for? Oh. This should really be a universal standard. Right, one blue line. What? Which I need to get in I'm not saying I want to get in, I'm saying I need to get in. Wait, Bob, please. Oh man, Elder Scrolls. I was feeling it.

So I thought I had to replace my electrolytes, but I've drank two sashes of that orange stuff and now I realise my isotonic drink actually already had electrolytes. So what I'm saying is, have I taken too many electrolytes? Am I overdosing on electrolytes right now because I'm not sure I actually even used any electrolytes? Well actually are electrolytes. I feel that. So I need to pee them out. But please, it's my mum's funeral. Well I know! That's why I need to be on good form. Oh no Do not

Don't notice the test. Don't notice the test. Don't notice Oh God. One blue line. One blue line. One blue line. One blue line. No. Don't notice. Bob, are you setting up direct debits in there? No. What's wife life, Bob? What? I don't know. Nothing. Are you paying for pornography? No. From the joint account. No, it's not pornography. Bathroom's all yours. Wifeless? That's not what it sounds like, don't worry about it. What's wave life? That's not what you think.

Trust me. The joint account isn't yours. Well I'm it's both out. It's to cover our bills, not random sex direct debits. I'll take it, Debbie. And you don't contribute anything to it. It's only joint in the sense that you jointly take from it. You're a joint liability. Where is this coming from? I thought everything was great. Is everything not great? I thought we were Great. Not great. Chill out, we're great. Thank you. Two blue lanes. Thank you. Oh god. Do you know where my black tie is?

And my trousers. I'm a jacket and a white shirt. I'm a smart shoes.

Firefighters have now tackled the blaze, which started at the Rennie Brothers Cash and Carrie in Traitston in the early hours, but roads in the area are still blocked off, so better find alternative routes into the city. Next up it's Frankie Miller with Darling. You uh you have something on your nose. No, I don't. What? Are you okay to work? Yes, thank you. It's nine AM Dr. Nine. Today ends your mother's funeral, but you don't need to worry about

Just showing concern for my colleagues. Your boss? As I say, nothing that needs to concern you, Casha. If you could just prepare the tools, thank you. We'll be done with Mr Mowitz in plenty of time. Well that's very kind of you, Mr. Mao, but she was very old. It's for the best. How old? Sixty-three. Now I Fuck you know, it's just terrible. I just don't know where she kept anything. Right. Where's the cellotap? I I think it's in the drawer underneath the T V.

I see I d I didn't look there. I d I just I just kinda believe she's gone. Oh no. turn round to talk to her to tell her I know who's done it in Vera or you know what have you and there's just an empty chair It'll get easier. Ik hoop zo, darin. When you move in, I I I can tell you who's done it in Vera. 'Cause it's never the one it seems like it's going to be o often it's a family member. What did you say about me moving in? And Bob too, eh? Can't forget Bob. Oh it's just for a while.

Now the I'm really struggling on my own. And it isn't just the sellotape, that was just one example. I'm not moving in Nid yw, yn fawr. Ond yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw. Yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw'n yw. I'll come over and see you most days. This is very difficult to hear. I can't move in with you, I'm 42. You just left. Exactly. I'm forty two and I just left. I can't move back in. I'm a window off!

I will do everyt everything I can to make sure you are safe and well and comfortable like I always do. But I can't move back in. Well she wasn't your wife though, was she? Is this about wanting Bob to marry you?'Cause I tell ya, marriage is a trap, Kerry. I don't want Bob to marry me. Believe me. I want the opposite of that. And your sister doesn't even have a boyfriend. Yet another way her life is genuinely aspirational. Where is she? And there is she.

Chatting to Aunt Jim and Uncle Gemma, sharing memories of mum running through the order of service with the vicar. No. No. Yeah. He's late. Yeah. Mm. We're about to Begin. Uh my sister isn't here yet. It's Leanne, her twin sister. I'm afraid we have a uh a full book today. We can only really wait a few minutes for there. Yeah. Well let's wait a few minutes. We have waited of you. No, I'm sorry. I meant the few minutes we have already. Waited. They're identical twins.

We gather here not only to grieve for the loss of Ashley but to give thanks for the gift of Ashley. As we reflect on Ashley's life today, we remember Ashley's kindness, her faith and the countless ways Ashley. Enriched our lives. So carry on, Minister, don't stop on my account. Uh sorry. The deceased's relatives like to say anything about Thank you. Hello, I'm Kerry, Ashley's daughter, one of one of Ashley's daughters. Well she would give you the shirt off her back.

Literally. One time when we were fourteen, I think, me and Leanne, my sister. She's a she's a dentist. Yeah, she she she is a dentist now but she wasn't then when this story takes place because we were fourteen it was it was the summer and the Cullen brothers from nineteen we stayed at seventeen so they were next door because That's where it was. Anyway, the Colin Bowers had a super-soaker they had filled with the...

Sorry Minister, I don't know why they did. They were manky. Sorry Minister, but they were. And they soaked me with it. We Anne was okay, she sort of somehow ended up masked by me and d didn't get any honour but my top was soaked in the the stuff. Anyway, mum. Ashley, ah, she just took her own t-shirt off and gave me that so I wouldn't have to walk home covered in...

the pea. I i it wasn't great walking home with your mum and her big taupe BHS bra and nothing else and I think me and Leanne probably put about ten paces between us but that's who she was. Yeah. She works herself to the bone, providing for her family and I'm sorry. Yeah. I'm sorry, I'm going to miss you so much, Ma. Thank you. Thank you, Kelly. Candy. Mm-hmm.

Now, as we dispatch sorry, uh Ashley into everlasting life with our Lord, we remember that in God's presence and guidance, even in the shadow of grief, we can trust that Ashley Ashley Ashley is now at peace. Resting in the arms of our Savior, in the words of Psalm twenty three. The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures, he leadeth me beside the still waters, he restoreth my soul. アーメン Yeah, man. That was the wrong song. I I'm sorry.

That was the wrong song. The song, the song you've rolled her off to. Think so. No, but I know because it was me who told you what song she wanted. She wanted I Could Be Happy by Altered Images. That's what we played. You played happy birthday. Is that a different so? Yes! It's by altered images and it has happy in the title. Sometimes we have to accept when something is good enough. For everything God has created is good, and if it is received with gratitude, it is sanctified.

It is not received with gratitude. I cannot change that. It's not her birthday, it's her funeral. It's actually the opposite of her birthday. Oh I th I thought that was a lovely send off, Minister. Thank you, Stuart. Ah, Kitty. Y your mother liked them all. I thought as much, and happy birthday is more well known. Well it's it's a crowd pleaser. Exactly. The crowd doesn't meet pleased.

Can I introduce you to my other daughter, Minister? This is Lianne. Leanne the dentist. A pleasure to meet you. You two are so alike. They're identical twins, Minister. Leon Carrie. Are you not having any food? No, I'm not hungry. That's good. The catering costs 500 quid or stick pie. I'm not hungry, Carrie. She'd want you to eat she's dead.

I spoke to the minister. Oh, right. About the song. Right, yes. Happy birthday. He said it was good enough. Yeah, it's not her birthday though. It's the opposite of her birthday anyway. It's what I said. Good. Oh, it's too late to change anything now. Yes. I thought I might have seen more of you. Why? With mum did. Well there's not much I can do now, is there? Well just check in on dad, that kind of thing. Oh you know I find him a bit. He is a bit

That's not a unique experience you have with them. Oh, you're just better at that stuff than me. You always were. You're an empath. He would benefit from seeing you. I spoke to him after the service. I would benefit from you seeing him. Well, I've just got a lot on at work right now. Don't you just have the usual stuff on?

Oh, you wouldn't understand, right? Well you wouldn't. Have you ever run a small business with a turnover in the millions? I don't make millions doing fast eat deliveries, no. Sorry, it's just It's just annoying sometimes. People assume that because I'm a dentist, all I do all day is dentistry and that's actually quite a small part of what I do. Right.

There are some particularly tricky stakeholders just now. Honestly, sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in a vice. Did you ever feel like that? Yes, I know exactly what you mean. How is Bob? He's the same. A pathetic idiot, loser rap man. He's not a pathetic idiot, loser rap man. Well at least he isn't any worse. Oh he is. He's worse. Just leave. Is money flat? He's not even on the lease. Oh you know what I mean. Exactly isn't that straightforward. This is your problem, Carrie.

You have all these explanations for why you're beaten down and put upon, but the only person who's really responsible is you. You've not changed. Neither have you. Grieves me to say it. I don't think you ever will. Can I have a minute of quiet, please? Oh God, what is this now? He's not going to start beatboxing again, is he? Carrie. Oh God, he's getting down on my knee. Oh no, Bob. No, it's my mum's ring roll. I want everyone here. All our treasured loved ones.

What the women from Mum's Work. No, Bob, don't do this! To witness me asking you. To get married. She's pregnant, everyone. I saw the test, Kerry. Yes, I will marry you. Let's do it. Let's have an absolute dream of babies. I love you! Thank you. Well I should get back to work.

I choose to be positive. I am doing my absolute best. I am capable. I can do hard things. I trust my decisions. I treat myself with gentle understanding. Hi, Paul! Hi Paul, sorry, I'm not avoiding you. I realise it must seem like I'm avoiding you, but I'm not avoiding you. I'm just on my way back from my mother's Well, I'm just on my way back from my mother's funeral, if you must know. Oh no you don't have to. No, ri really don't come to the surgery.

I haven't forgotten I owe you the money, Paul. You don't need to worry, I am not going anywhere, I promise. Well if you kill me, you won't get your money at all, will you? Two work. I trust my decisions. I treat myself with gentle understanding. There you go, Stuart. Do you wanna just go up to bed, or do you wanna sit in the chair for a bit? I'll have a I'll have a reset then I'll go up. You've already had a lot to drink. I don't need to drink just because I'm not going straight. Too bad!

Give me a drink, Bob. Just a brandy and ginger veil. Gràcies, boss. Ah have a drink, Kerry. I have to go to work. We've just got engine. I know! I need to earn some money to buy myself a ring! Carrie? I I didn't order any food. Oh, the bag and the jacket. Right. Right, no, I'm I'm n I'm not working. I just said I was to get away from everything. Keeping up with pretense sort of thing. Right. So can I help you? Are you not going to ask me in? Do you want to come in? Yeah. Okay, well come in.

Oh this is so nice what the vestibule the whole Alright. I almost meant to It's amazing how the years go by. So tasteful. What do you think? I wouldn't have thought it was your cup of tea. Well, because I don't have any tea. Jesus Christ. Please do attach that. Your kitchen. Put him in. It's a joke! This whole place is just... Madness. Do you mean it's nice? Uh-huh. Thanks. No one really sees it. Do you want a drink?

Yeah, ha have you got any gin? Is that a joke? Because you're pregnant? No. Right. Can I have a genotonic coming right up? Oh that bloody ice machine, it spits ice out like projectile vomit. What's this counter made of? Granite? Uh I think it's quartz. It's not granite, I think granite is grey. I thought you might get white granite. No, I bet maybe you do. I I don't know much about masonry. Thank you. Here we both are.

No. Only I didn't have anyone else to go to. Maybe next time text ahead. Just in case. No, I I'll go. No no no no no no no don't. It's fine. This time it's fine. Everything is a disaster, Leanne. No, no, I'm sure it's not. No, you were right. When you said I always talk about changing things and never make changes. No, I was very rude. I'm forty two.

I'm pregnant by Bob, I somehow got non consensually engaged, I'm working about fifty hours a week doing food deliveries, and then come home to operate a smaller food delivery service for a single customer who never tips. Yes. I am repeating mum's life. And I am sorry to say that. I don't mean it in a bad way because that woman was a saint, but I don't want to be a saint, Leanne. I don't want this life. It's a mistake. I just I I

I just wasn't paying attention and it happened. It's easily fixed. Have an abortion. Give him his ring back. You didn't give me a ring. Even easier, have an abortion, kick him out, die your. We have the same colour hair. It looks different on you. Actually, can I recommend a shampoo that will change your life? No, a shampoo isn't gonna be enough. Can I ask you? A really big favour. Oh, well do you think? Are we there? Are we in a position?

To do each other really big favours. We are literally identical twins. But I I don't know, we're not close twins, are we? You've never been to my flat. You've never invited me. Sorry, I didn't realise I was saying anything that wasn't obvious. Fine, forget it. No, no, ask, ask, ask. No, I don't want to. It's fine. No, please. I insist you ask. Are you sure? We're twins. I want to help you. Could I come and stay with you? Just for a couple of weeks, maybe.

I just need out of the flat away from Bob. It's easy to say kick him out, but where would he go? And I just need to get a bit of space and and oh work out what I'm gonna do. Ah, okay.

The super objective? Could not be more supportive. Right. So that's on the record. Okay? So can I stay? Well look, here's what I can do for you. I can give you a thousand pounds in cash right now. Two thousand pounds? Oh. You can go to a hotel. Hell okay. Okay,'cause it was just it was just that I didn't want to be alone. Stay with Dad. That was a joke, obviously. No, no, no, I'm talking about this.

I'm sorry, Carrie. I wish I could. You can. But it's a boundary. I can't cross a boundary. I'm not Julius Caesar. My home is my sanctuary. I can't come home to K We are sisters I know. But I just don't have the bandwidth. We just buried our mum. It sounds stupid to say, but it feels safe here. It doesn't though. It feels safe to you because it isn't yours. Ha ha ha.

I have to maintain it. It's a victory it's an obligation. If you listen closely to the walls they're saying you can't stop now, keep earning, keep going, can't stop, keep earning, keep going. Things at work are p it's a it's a very stressful time. Oh please, Leanne We're sisters. Sorry to have to say this so bluntly, Carrie, really I am but So? What is wrong with you? We have 100% of the same DNA. Humans share 99% of their DNA with bananas.

Am I to open my home to all the huddled masses fleeing the man from Del Monte's gulags? I am not a banana. You only have all this because you were able to walk away and you were only able to because I didn't That's not true. I was able to get away because I saw with a clear eye What our circumstances were and I did what I had to to escape.

I modulated my accent. I ingratiated myself with our teachers. I didn't just flick a switch. I had to make repeated good choices. You climbed over me to get where you are. You are a And your Glasgow uni accent sounds ridiculous. I do not have a Glasgow uni accent. I do not have a Glasgow uni accent. Stop that. Stop that. Oh, you're being very, very incredible. You're being very, very immature. Repeat this.

I'm a loser. I've always been a loser and I'll always be a loser. I like to blame everyone but myself for my terrible life, but in reality I've got the life I deserve because I am a pathological coward. Carrie, you shocked me! Just get Oh are you alright, Leanne? Wake up! Yeah. You slipped on ice as you were shoving me! I think you banged your head in the counter, Leon. Oh Oh shit, sorry. Oh sorry, sorry, oh god. Oh god, are you dead? Yeah.

Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, you're dead, you're really dead! Oh god, tell us to be dead!

Yeah. I am not sure. I no I'm not sure what the best thing to do is right now. I'll be here, so can you bring my Xbox, two controllers, and maybe give me a couple of apes? Any berry based flavour? Or green. Nothing ice. I know what vapes are like! And could you grab some toilet paper? They don't have toilet paper! This was meant to be a surprise, but are you- Yeah, since you have your mum to set in her chair for your dad. I'm g I'm going no What service do you require? Uh um um my sister's dead.

Thank you. My sister Carrie? I'll walk it. It's quite Granite. I have a shampoo that will change your life. 哇 Let's see will we? I I'm Leanne Damie. I'm Dr. Leanne Daney Dr. Lian Den, Dr. Lian Den. Oh thank God officers can end. I'm Leanne Derny. In part one of The Dentist by DC Jackson, Leanne and Kerry were played by Gabriel Quigley, Bob by Grant Rourke, Kasha, Leah Byrne, and Stewart Jonathan Watson and the Minister by Gavin.

Original music and sound design was by Fraser Jackson. It was a BBC Audio Scotland production. Listen to the whole series of The Dentist right now on BBC Sounds. Just search for limelight. As part of Limelight from BBC Radio 4, this is The Betrayed. The story of a family torn apart by a political extremism. You see this guy in the red t-shirt? Thank you. I'd allowed myself to That this moment would never come.

Do you remember the looters outside the sports shop last year? The one guy who'd let a scar slip? I think that's him. My brother Frank standing with a group of angry men shouting abuse at the police. The same guy? activist. Let's enjoy. Now, first on BBC Sound.