Zelda: Shookarina Of Time

it's easy to you know, fuck. Okay, So that's a little more specific than than the question was intended to be. Because virgins, if you're on a where UM a porn creator UM by the name of I actually don't know what their name is, as as if it matters, UM unleashed a video onto the world and which he um fucked flesh lights full of several different kinds of pasta, each fleshlight with a different with a different kind of pasta,

And we're not talking about like types of noodles. I think that's where you're you're getting very specific into that we're not talking about like he he fucked like Bucatini versus angel Hair. That's like he was fucking. He was fucking pasta dishes. So he was like las Macaronian cheese, um like bulonaise and um. So I did not subscribe to his I did not buy the video so I could find out which was the most fuckable pasta. But I have watched the teaser clip that he released several

times and your review, Um, I mean it's weird. He seems like a Weirdoh um, no surprise there. I think you kind of have to be. But I also kind of love him for this. And if I had to, if I had to guess, I would say lasagna would be the most fuckable pasta. There's something about it being like a sort of pasta casserole that lends itself to a certain softness. I that that that sounds wretched. I really there are a lot of foods that I would fuck,

but pasta is just not one of them. And I don't know if it's because it's like cheesy, or if it's because it's like kind of like pec and like kind of like it's got this like chewy soggy texture that like actually sends a shiver down my spine. Like, there's just so many foods that I would suck before. I would suck pasta. Would you are there other foods that you would fuck? No? I wouldn't suck any food I would fuck like a pie, okay, Jason Biggs, or maybe maybe like a like a birthday cake, because I

don't really Oh, I would suck a cake. I would definitely like a butter cream, but like as a joke, not not for any sort of sexual place. I would do it for the TikTok. Yeah. The thing about the video that did um disgusted me for a second until I realized what the purpose of it was was that he was wearing a condom, and I was like, it's you grow up. But then I thought about it and it's food. And I don't really think you want tomato

sauce going up your urethra. No, you don't want You don't want night shades on your dick, Mama, you don't. You don't want some that acidic quality. Okay, that's like too many tomatoes. No, no, no, um, yeah, I I don't understand how the internet gets to these places honestly, it makes me think of the guy that had like, you know, forty two loads in one day or whatever.

Do you remember that guy that how many loads? I know, I know exactly if you're talking for the virgins, if you're not aware, sometime last year there was a guy who decided to take forty two loads. He actually lives like three blocks away from me because I see him

on grinding her all the time. Um, but like I think a lot about this episode of Nympho Wars where Theta talks about them the experienced poisoning effect of discourse and how it's so much like this like subsect of kink and fetish culture and how kink and just like porn porn acting in general has become like not like the what is the maximum amount of pleasure I can get? And more like what is the most what is the craziest experience that I can like put my body through

for shock value? Because like shock is like actually the pleasure, like being polarizing is the pleasure. Like it's so it's about it's about creating a meme. I mean, this guy has fucked different types of fast of like delivery pizzas before, Like he's fucked Papa John's versus Dominoes versus. And let me tell you, I am not sticking my dick in Papa John's. I love Papa John's. Actually, um, I think Papa John's. Probably Papa John is problematic because he's a

Trump supporter, right. It's Papa John. He loves the wall wants to build it. U. So, um, you haven't been sucking any pizza or postiblately, what have you been up to? What have I been fucking? I did actually have sex this weekend, had sex. I had sex with two different people this weekend. I'm in my slat era right now. Are we going to talk about it on the on the Potter? Are we going to just tease the virgins and then we're just not Phoebe says don't. Phoebe says yes,

we have to talk about it. Should we hate about it? I mean all the this is all I'm gonna say. I'm in my slat era right now because, as as I might have said, I'm like trying to like date and fuck at the same time and have them both be fulfilling. Because if I'm having fulfilling sex, then that like takes the pressure off of dating and I'm having fulfilling dates that then that takes the pressure off of

like trying to find intimacy through sex. So I think, like doing these two things, yeah, I'm like getting different. I'm getting the different I'm getting different needs met from

different places. Okay, way, maybe you're actually describing something that I was searching for this past weekend because I was in pursuit of dates with an individual who will not be named UM, and long story short, I was crushing very hard on someone UM for the better part of like a week, and was in pursuit of these dates and felt like I was putting forth all this effort and not getting any reciprocity at all, despite the fact that we had an amazing first date, and I was

realizing that part of my frustration was through the fact that, like I wanted to fuck, And so I scheduled a date with someone else who I had been sexting for a while or just been flirting with for a while, and like we had all this kind of energy and like they did they did already want to see me, and I wanted to see them, And UM spent like all of Saturday just like getting stone and watching dragons and kind of like digging around. It was like literally

literally digging around. It was phenomenal. And also just like I just like like I need hours of like love sech like love bombing and like in de muse and

like warmth. And I think that like the next were catapulted, but don't But don't you find that when you get this kind of even if it's not like love bombing or like cuddling or anything, when you get like a really satisfying sexual experience, it like catapults here next week Like it's like I feel like I have so much more momentum and like um, Sarah Tonin and things in my him that just makes me ready to conquer the way. Sure, I I do feel recharged in a certain way after

having a lot of sex this weekend and also like spinach. Yeah, and also the thing you were talking about about, like um, like alleviating the nerves from someone like you're very into by having sex with someone that you like you already know, isn't you already? Yeah, Like that's kind of how I

feel about um. When I had plans with someone to hook up this weekend and like an hour and a half before they came over, I jerked off and that made it No, It made the sex so much better because I was like, not so like, oh, I've got to get my nut like right now. I was just like, I was very chill. You're making me realize right now that I don't have a lip color on. You have an amazing lip color on right I don't. I just have that is all I have on is lip bomb

that is not your natural lip color. Look at my lips next to yours. I look like I look like a corpse. Wow. You look so lush you Wow. Thank you. It's because you know what, I'm so fresh faced because I wasn't in the trenches trying to get Beyonce tickets this weekend. Girl. Okay, I've like I've been waitlisted, even though I'd had three different kinds of preregistration, and I

am worried. Virgins, If you have a Beyonce hook up, if you want to add me to your purchasing bundle, if you want to get into the pit with me, if if anybody wants to help me find a Beyonce hook up. I need Beyonce tickets. This is Beyonce. If you're listening, we would love to go to your shows. You wouldn't go. You don't go to I would go to it, you would. You don't even do auditorium shows that much. I mean, I listen lately with all of the ticket buying drama, I'm feeling very good as a

person who does not care about going to concerts. But if someone handed me Beyonce tickets, obviously I'm going. I've I've never seen her live before. I mean, and when I say handed me tickets, like if someone said, here are Beyonce tickets you can buy, I was gonna sounds like having to deal with like a whole like rigamarole, like just so the versions. No, I'll pay big money. I'll i will actually do some unspeakable things to you. I'll do I'll do hand stuff. I'll do I'll do

feat stuff too. I will absolutely do feat stuff. I will. I'll maybe do some piss. I will sell you my underwear, I will sell you my socks. I will. I will

actually do so much. I mean, I draw the line of I draw the line at Scott, but right, I don't negotiable nigstable Um, it's actually so fucked like I'm actually honestly like kind of worried that I won't get Beyonce tickets because I kind of got really lucky with Adele and I got really lucky with Chromatica, and so I feel like, is this the one the most important concert? Out of any concert I would the one that I'm not going to get, Like, I'll be devastated. Ah, girl,

did you watch the Grammys yesterday? I did not. I the Grammys are I think have the biggest flop energy of any award show. They always take away too long, the winds and losses are very inconsistent, and it's just like kind of excruciating to watch. So at most I'll usually watch the performance as the next day on YouTube. Um you know, obviously I was on Twitter last night, so I was somewhat aware of what was going on. I know Beyonce I didn't win Album of the Year.

I know that we want that twin obliterated. I mean, it's the only thing worth discussing. I watched the Grammys because our friend Zack Stafford asked me to watch um over with Sam Sander, So I felt like I was getting like a preliminary episode of vibe Check, which is kind of funny, but yeah, definitely huge flop energy. It's on Golden Globes level of like floppery because they're I think just the Recording Academy is like so busted and they still don't know what the funk they're doing, um

watching Harry except this award. Did you see the video at all? No, I completely avoided it. I know that he said something about how people like him don't win awards like this, which is like, yeah, yeah, Phoebe just exclaimed, Um yeah, that's absolutely insane because um, straight white Twinks

have been winning awards since the dawn of time. I would like to I would like to bestow my assessment of what I saw on screen that is, like fully just like me thinking about what was happening, but like, I think, what's whack is that, like, out of these album of the year like artists, like the Academy is so much more likely to throw it to like Aba or maybe even cold Play or like or honestly just Adele Again, like I had prepared myself for the grief

of Beyonce losing to someone that the Academy just like would award, but the fact that it's Harry for everyone involved is like so embarrassing, And that album was boring as Yes, that album it is a mid ass album with like two songs, two good songs, maybe three, Like it is so forgettable and so not the work of his career and so not worth awarding beyond like a track.

And and I think that Harry knew immediately because when you see him getting awarded, it's just like he goes like white in the face, Like you can tell that not only was he not expecting it, but he had not prepared a speech at all. And by the time he had gotten up on stage, you can see he is realizing in real time that he's the most hated

man in America. And then and and he's realizing Andy will be done with Yes, he's realizing in real time the optics and implications of his win over someone like Beyonce. Let alone all of the other artists in this category, but Beyonce. Most of all, it is about Beyonce. And let me tell you, the first he gets up there, he's white in the face, he's like dead, scared for

his life. And the first thing he says is he goes he goes, well, you know, as recording artists like no, but he's really the best, right, Like he's like, you know, we know what this is so so silly. We don't really call each other the best, Like there's no hierarchy, right, guys like zero self awareness. He stumbles over his words.

He realized, he's realizing like how bad this is, and then from his mouth he sputters things like this don't happen to people like me, and then he just like runs away, like he just like disappears behind the crowd. He's like been cut off the mic. Like it's crazy. It is the craziest possible thing for him to have said. And I'm sure the second he got of stage, his manager was like, what the fuck did you just do? I also I also heard his performance was bad, terrible.

He was asleep at the wheel the first the first like twenty seconds of him singing. I actually thought that something was wrong, that that something really bad had happened, or like something had malfunctioned right before curtain because the first like fifteen to twenty seconds there's it feels like there's something wrong you anybody, anybody who watched, Like I would love to know if I was the only one vibing on that, But I'm like scared for Harry, like

that they have just gonna like destroy him. And I know Harry's house is about to be Harry's disasters of it's crumbled, like Beyonce is about to huff and puff and blow that all Dwyn, She's not going to do it because she's so above it. Although I'm sure like the fact that this has happened to her so many any times, like I'm sure it does like fucking wear

on her. But she should just never go to the Grammys again, like it's fucked, it really is, and and for her to be there, it's like she doesn't give a fuck, but it's insulting. It is at this point

four times over, insulting for her to lose to some schlep. Yeah, I don't think losing to Adele was like sheppy, but the other three that she lost to, which were back Taylor Swift Taylor for Fearless, but that was for I Am Sasha Fears, So like whatever, okay, fine, yeah, yeah, I do think Fearless is a better album than I Am Sasha Fears. But I was talking to Zack and Sam about this after and like something that we were talking about was just like how I'm like I actually

like Harry, like charming young man, a great style. I think he has. He's like on the road to like make better music, but he's just not making the best work of his career right now. I don't think he has even come close to the level that he should be at, considering how celebritized he is, Like I'm much more in interest it in like the celebrity of Harry styles just but I don't. I think his music is average,

is fun, and that's why it's so annoying. And so I think that this is a moment that is crystallizing a lot of the problems of Harry and like what we award and when he says things like this don't happen to people like me, it's like no, actually, like yeah, you're like a white cis attractive, like celebrity who has risen to pop stardom, like this happens to thousands, like

so many people like you, um and um. The worst part is he did it like while wearing queer, transgender not conforming aesthetic and use that aesthetic to get to the place that he's at and would not be at

the place that he's at without that aesthetic. And yet Beyonce is like taking all of these collaborators and people to make something like Renaissance where they are her lateral collaborators, and that could have been awarded instead like something in it that is so much more in good conscience up a kind of a willing heart of like queer and trans like culture and community, and yet gets totally overlooked for something that is so so watered down and so mayonnaise.

But you know what, at least Unholy one one truly truly listen. I'm very happy for I'm so happy. I'm happy for Kim. It was so sweet when she shouted out Sophie. But Unholy is one of the worst songs I've ever heard. Yeah, it really, it really is. I mean that song is like, like I do, Okay, here's the real problem that we're not saying. We do not need to hear Sam Smith saying the words I'd be popping it in like the Year of Our Lord, Like it just smells rotten. And I think that Sam Smith's

new aesthetic. I know, there's like a lot of chatter about like the new Sam Smith. I think Sam Smith's

new asthetic. Lovely love the crystals, love the thongs, the corsets, like I think it's amazing, and I think that this is a much more interesting era of Sam's music than Sam Smith's previous I just don't need to see another tweet that's like, if a skinny white gay war this, y'all would be blah blah blah, shut up, I like stop, Like it's the most base level discourse I just But also, if a skinny white twink was wearing this, I would hate it a lot more like I really would hate

it more like what Sam is wearing is still kind of generic, Like this all read like Entourage photo moment that they had. It feels like a watered down version of things we've seen before, from like Valentino or from like certain music videos. It's literally just the bad romance video, and it's it's bad since it's been over ten years since that. Oh my fucking god, Rose, it's fucking bad romance. I didn't even fucking think about all these bitches. Is

her son's that's the thing, and Unholy are her little monsters? Also? I hate Unholy? But how do you sleep? Went triple platinum in my home? Speaking of annoying gaze, um, I saw Knock at the Cabin yesterday and it was bad. Right, it was bad. I thought maybe you got to defend some of it. No, it was bad. It was Here's the thing about m Night Chamelon, you know, like you always go into his movies expecting some kind of twist, and the thing about Knock at the Cabin is that

there's no twist. And you get the sense that like that's the twist, is that there's no twist. And I hated it. It was so boring. I also went and read the Wikipedia summary of the book that it's based on afterwards, and the it's very different and the plot of the books on it so much more interesting. Um, you know, good performances. I thought Dave Bautisto was really great. The young child actor who plays the gay couple's daughter was very good. Um, the gay guy in the movie

who's not Jonathan Groff was hot. Jonathan Groff was Jonathan Groff ing all over the place. He even sang, which I'm sure it's like in his contract because there's a scene where they're like singing along to a song in the car. It was just boring and um, I like could just not have watched it. So wait. So spoiler alert for the Virgins at the end, does the does

the world end? No, But it turns out that what they were saying that, So the whole plot of the movie is that, um, these intruders come to this cabin and tell this family the world is going to end unless you decide to sacrifice one of the members of

your family. And then they tell them that each of the four people who have come there like will ask them repeatedly if they're going to save the world, and when they say no, that person kills themselves, and then the other like people also kill them and as each person dies, a plague is unleashed onto humanity, and um, like they show them the TV to show that it's actually happening. They're like, no, this can't be real, Like

this is a hoax whatever. Um, But at the end of the movie they're like convinced that it's actually happening, and so they do pick one of them to die. And then at the end of the movie, it's just like the apocalypse has been averted and like all these crazy catastrophes happened, but they're over now and ends of them. Yeah,

it's it's so bad. They sacrifice a child, No, they sacrifice Jonathan Groff ah, they would, but from the synopsis in the book, what happens in the book is that the child is killed by accident, but it doesn't count, so they still have to kill one of them, and then they ultimately decide not to and to like just let the world end. I also think in the book that they it never becomes clear to them if this is actually happening because they're in such a remote location.

So I don't know. I just would have preferred that version of the movie, or I would have preferred something that was more ambiguous about whether or not any of this was real. So it just it was very like literal. It was very much like holding the audience's hand all through it. So one he is, He's not in much of it, but he was good. He honestly rupercrant alone

would get me to watch the Servant or would suck. Also, one other thing I just wanted to mention briefly is I finally saw the Terry McClair exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum on Friday when my mom was My mom was in town and I took her to it, and it is so cool and beautiful. It's amazing to see those clothes up close. Definitely, if you're in New York go. I believe it's open through May maybe, um, although I

will say Brooklyn Museum. The exhibit does not have like a an ending that you walk out of it just kind of like you have to like loop back around and go back through it. It's just like not it's confusing. It's not laid out in in a dynamic way. So this is such a friendly is such a friendly wit stake away? It's like, why did I walk it here? It should be like an amusement park ride, Like there should be an exit, you know, there should be an exit through the gift shop, right. I think museums are

maybe intentionally like labyrinthine to get you lost in them. Yeah, but I don't think you should like go to the end of the exhibit and then it's just like there's nothing that's like okay, this is all there is. You just are like, oh, I guess I have to go back through half of the exhibit and then just like walk out a random side door. That was dumb. That was dumb. But great gowns, beautiful gowns. Great gowns, beautiful gowns.

I can't wait to go. I'm definitely going. Rose, I am honestly nervous for today's episode, Like I feel like a lot of I have. I feel like a lot of pressure because today we're trying to cover you know, like a patron saint of of culture, Like she is like just an idol among us, Um, Dolly Parton, Like could there be a better celebrity? Like she is the one? To me? She is she is the one, She is the dividual herself. She is mother. She's a mother of time,

mother of music, She's everything. She is she contains multitudes, so many and I were not saying that, yes, yes, um, Rose, do you do you have Like do you know what your first memory of Dolly Parton was? Um? I don't know about first memory is, but I can definitely say that Dolly was not a huge afformative musical icon for me. I was always aware of her, like in the background of my cultural experience, but it really wasn't until probably my mid to late twenties that I really started actively

searching out Dolly to listen to her music. And Um, I didn't really do like any sort of deep investigation into you know, the woman, the myth, the legend, until I had to interview her a couple of years ago. So I I came very late to the Dolly game. So I mean, you know, I think for this episode, I'm probably the virgin, even though like at this point now I do have a much deeper understanding of Dolly

Parton and her work and her impact. But you know not, I think sort of the foundational knowledge that you have, right I Okay, So just to like level set with you, I also honestly discovered Dolly. I feel in my adulthood, like my mom's side of the family. As I've said before, it's like all cattle ranchers, like true cowboys in like the West, and so obviously Dolly is like an omnipotent presence in cowbey culture, definitely in the South, like because

you're in the West. Maybe I don't know, maybe like it didn't like touch my family as much as like other like country like singer songwriters did, but like, but she is this like kind of god figure that was still in the background of my childhood and I think only until adulthood when you go back and you look at her catalog and you look at like her cultural moon meaning and like what she's accomplished for her with

her life. That was when I was just like, oh, like I want a Dolly tattoo, like I Dolly, Like I want to embody Dolly, like she's a hero, Like I just think she's incredible. I love her so much as you do too, obviously. Um. One of the first things I feel like I latched onto was just like how she was a like pre eminent, like I kind of like bimbo culture. Like before it was cool, like yeah,

you know what I mean. Yeah, I don't think I understood until I really started going down the Dolly rabbit hole that her bimbo nous was a joke that she was in on. I think I always assumed it was something that had been placed on her and that she only sort of begrudgingly engaged with. And then like, once I started even paying like the remotest bit of attention, I realized, like it wasn't even that she was in

on the joke. She was the one making the joke, you know, in in both her music, like the whole Backwoods Barbie persona, and also like a lot of her like iconic late night interviews, like she's always the one who's talking about how huge her tits are. And like making these like you know, bimbo jokes and like she and I'm sure part of that is like she wants to make the joke first before someone else can make it.

But like that means that she's always had all the power, Like she she controls her own narrative and she monetizes it. Oh yeah, And I felt like it just it clues you into like how shrewd and like smart and strategic she is as a person with all the while making it seems so effortless like Dolly's like it costs a lot of money to look this cheap. Is like like everyone everyone says that now you know what I mean.

It's like this kind of um these words to live by where in you like don't take yourself too seriously and I think, like live in your power in that moment, Like it's just so incredible and like she's like so whipped smart, Like her jokes are so fucking fast and so quick talking to her as I have gotten a couple of times, like she is absolutely like in control

on it at all times, like so funny, so like sharp. Yeah, and like in those late night interviews you're talking about, like she would be on the receiving end of a boob joke and then she would knock a joke back that was like five times funnier, like every time she was funnier than the late night host And like that to me is like part of like her magnanimous and why she's like transcendent time and space for decades, right, Like, um so wait, how much do you know about like

the Dolly like history, like you know, like I'm sure by going to Dollywood you kind of get a little bit of a history. Yes, I I know a little bit. I know sort I know, like the you know, Tennessee Mountain Home version of Dolly's Story, which incidentally, that is my favorite Dolly partner song. I love in Materna Theme Mountain. Um so good. Can't wait to get fined for that,

but I do. Yeah, Like as we as, I talked about um on our theme park episode with Matt Rogers, which if you haven't listened to it, definitely go listen

to the episode. It's very fun. Um I at Dollywood there it is a theme park that like part of part like uh, you know at Disney MGM is like a theme park about movies, and like Animal Kingdom is a theme park about animals, and Dollywood is a theme park about Dolly Parton, and part of it is about creating this like magical, like folk tale mythology of Dolly's life.

And there is a recreation of the Tennessee Mountain home in the theme park that you can go and look at, so you and you know, I'm sure it's like somewhat true to life, and I'm sure there's some of it that's like theme park. Iised, but yeah, so I have like a basic understanding of the legend of Dolly Parton and like how poor she was like growing up and you know, her true rags to riches story. I okay, yes, I need to go to Dollywood, by the way, Like I want to go so bad now I really want

to go back. So let's go because it it truly is like a gay mecca. Maybe someone can bring us, maybe we can get like Dolly tourism borders. Yeah. And the town it's in, Pigeon Forge so beautiful. I was there in October and it was just like the leaves were changing. It was gorgeous and like it is very cool to see this town that Dolly, you know, by um buying this theme park and turning it into this

like destination, um, this travel destination. She totally created this um, you know, like self sustaining economy in this very poor town that she grew up in and like created so many jobs for people. Um. And it's just like she is. She's a fucking superhero. She is like over and over again, time and time again, she's proven that she is so fucking consistent and what she believes in and what she stands for and what she wants to accomplish with her life.

And I think that, you know, the Tennessee Mountain Home mythology, yes, is a mythology, but like her story really is like magical. Like I don't know anybody who is even remotely interested in the life of Dolly Parton. Please go listen to Jada boom Rad's Dolly Parton's America, which is a podcast series that, to me, is one of the best, if not the best, portrait of a celebrity I'd ever seen in any medium. It's like listened to in any medium. It's so fucking good. It is very good. I didn't

listen to it. I didn't listen to the whole thing, but I listened to most of it because I think it was coming out around the time that I went to interviewed her. So I was very intrigued. Right, it's okay, it's so good. But like, yeah, she you know, she grew up in this little bunk house and she like shared a bed with like nine people or whatever, and like, you know, was like barely feeding herself through the first

years of like her music career. And then uh found a kind of like pairing with what is his name, Porter Wagner. It's I love that we don't even know, Like I don't even remember remember his fucking name. Now I need to Porter Wagner. Okay, So she finds she finds this kind of like um creative partnership with Porter Wagner that at the time, at the beginning, was not

a creative partnership. Right. It was like Porter was this country star, and at the time, country stars had you know, singing gals that came on and sing a song, but they were like an accessory on the stage, right, like you have this little countrywoman. There was this woman named Norma Jean who had sang with him for a while. She quit, I think because of an affair or something. Enter Dolly. He scouts her and he's like, you're gonna

be my singing girl now. And then she, you know, over the course of years, starts to outshine him and becomes kind of the true star of their like duet act that becomes like renowned and had a show. It was a TV show. They had a show. They had right, were right, they had exactly exactly sorry, so they were on TV all the time, and then became like the patron saints of the country music world in the very beginning when they like started the Country Music Awards and

all that stuff. So like Dolly has been a part of like institutional country music since the beginning in a way that like most stars and music stars can't claim right like she really and yet she's so humble about it. And the way that she I think this is like very evident with the thing we were talking about with like the boob jokes or like um or just like

the way. So what I'm trying to say is the way she um overcomes adversity is with so much grace, Like she will never prioritize, like you know, she will never like want to seem like mean or cruel to anyone, Like she knows her own worth and I think that's evident. But like with the Porter Wagner thing, like she was just like, look, Porter, like you made me who I am and I, you know, maybe have you to think for a lot of my success, but like I'm a

star and this is my goodbye. And she famously wrote like I will always love you about saying goodbye to Porter Wagner and wait for him and he cried, right story, yes, famously office. And I think it's I think if you think about who Dolly is, I think it's absolutely true because she has written, you know, three thousand songs or whatever. So it's giving Glee a little bit that she wanted to his office and saying in this song that made

him like decide to let her go. But that's the thing that I love about Dolly is she is kind of Glee, Like she is like magic like this like magical thinking where in like you can break out into song and express your feelings that way. And then at the Antiquechrist And says, okay, sure, like you gotta go um your own kid. You're on your own kid. Yeah, and she still gave him. I think she gave him the song, like she gave him the right or like she gave him a million dollars. There was a settlement.

He sued her, she gave him a million dollars. And then when Whitney re recorded the song, she like made that back three times in like one year or something like that, just on the rights alone. So anyways, we should talk a little bit about like Dolly Parton the movie star, because she is a phenomenal movie star. Rose You've seen, You've seen Best Little her House in Texas, and I love I love Best Little Horhouse in Texas. Um love hard Canny Christmas. Oh my god, that song

is fucking It's a deep cut. It's actually like a deep deep cut from Dolly, and it's it's not even really a Christmas song. I love five. I actually only watch the first time New Year's Eve going into the New Year's that I spent alone at home, you know, when we were in like the deepest darkest pits of of like COVID fear in l a um. So thanks

Dolly for getting me through that. And also after a full year of like understanding crystal clearly that every job sucks and that we as a society should move on from nine to five jobs, which was the America that Dolly imagine for all all of us, Yes, and nine to five. I mean, you know, like the thing about anything having to do with Dolly and what I love about her is there's always some story that's like been

extracted from that that like gets paired with it. So like when you think about nine to five, you think about like Dolly with her nails, like nas like in the nails, and like there's always something like that because she's had this long career in which she's been so deeply intertwined with her own work, and like Dolly is a woman who tells her own story. Uh so there's you can always like remember some like cute or funny or moving little anecdote about anything she's done. And I

think that's beautiful. I feel like Dolly has always been ahead of her time, and it's like rarely credited to that, you know what I mean. Like, like you said, like our first impression of Dolly's like huge tits big wig, And if we don't know anything else about her, we

don't know anything else about her. But if you do, you know that like she was writing these kind of um stories about like women with pregnancy who ruin their lives, like she was writing songs about suicide and like with nine to five, like this was this was like a kind of feminist like feminist anti capitalists. Yes, like that was. Yes, that was so like on exactly the cusp of like feminism.

And she was also like third wave feminism before third wave feminism, where she was just like, yeah, I have tits and also I can like exercise like any any right I want as like a woman. God, she's just like always been like that, Like I fucking love it is. You know, it's hyper femininity as power, um as strength. Do you do you remember the plot of Best Little Horhouse of Texas? No, okay, let me tell you. The plot of this movie is Dolly Parton has the best

little horhouse in Texas. She has the best horrors. Everyone in town comes to this horhouse because she provides the best service, the best experience, and there are no pimps here. Like the men don't control the money. She controls the money,

and I think that's so beautiful. The plot is basically like she's sleeping with the sheriff, which is why the whole house is protected in Texas, and all of a sudden, this kind of like radical gay purist starts coming for the Horehouse and it's like this is like, you know, desecrating our town and it can't be here, and the cops fight this radical purist to protect these sex workers. Is that whild Like it's like it's like cops like

finding corruption in a way that protects sex workers. Like it's actually so whackadoodle to watch an experience because you're like, this is a fantasy, um. But it also made me wonder like what a modern day Best Little hore House in Texas adaptation would look? Like I don't know that it could exist today. No, no, I I think I think one maybe something in the eighties, Like I would love to watch the Best Little Horhouse, but it's like in the eighties, you know what I mean, like set

in the eighties, set in the eighties. Yeah, instead of like the like the I don't know when it takes ye old ye yeah, ye old have you? I mean, Best Little Horhouse in Texas is basically West World. Wait, yeah, we should we need it. We actually need a West World. We need a dystopian Best Little Horhouse in Texas. We need the last of Us. I mean that's just West World.

That's just west World. Yeah it is. Oh wait, yeah, I've never seen west World, so like I actually wasn't connecting the dots there ye old ye old yew times. Speaking of which, have you seen um stee Magnolias. So this has become a point of contention between my mother and I. I have never seen still magnoli Is in totality. Um, I have seen parts of it. I'm surprised this didn't come up during our Julia Roberts episode. But I've never watched the whole film. I am shook. I'm shook arena.

I am legend of Zelda, shook Arena of time. I am literally like I have no I literally like it does feel like such another like canonically Rose movie and I but Robert, I don't like like a I don't like a sad movie like that. You know it is too sad. Yeah, Julia Roberts having a seizure and she does. I think she dies at the end spoiler alert. I actually don't even remember. But the ensemble like a cost

cast Dolly, Julia Um, God, Sally Field, Shirley McClain god. Um. But yeah, I mean I I think that like what Dolly injects into I think the thing about Reboots actually is like what Dolly injects into all three of those

movies we talked about, like cannot be replicated. Like there's no woman, man, anyone that can bring what Dolly brings to any sort of project, because she is a once in a lifetime person um not just as not just as this kind of like charismatic, like larger than life, like most memorable person in the room way, but also like she's a genius like I can't remember who said this, but like but it's like if she was writing classical music, right,

if she had written three thousand classical songs, like we would be calling her Mozart, like she is mention level genius. Well and not. And not only is she and an INCREDI an incredible, brilliant, show stopping, never never, never done before artist, she's incredible at branding and marketing. Like yes, she she literally has a theme park, like she has created the mythology of herself so incredibly that it has

endured through multiple generations. And she is known from you know, my grandparents too, kids who just saw her on Miley's Rock and New Year's Eve or whatever the funk it was called. Like It's not even that she's necessarily had all these different eras in her career. She just like

has always been there. So even when I, like I said, like as a child, as a teenager, like whatever, was not really like searching her out, I still had a basic awareness of who she was, Like I still always knew that I Will Always Love You was a Dolly Parton song like that. It's just sort of part of our like shared cultural unconsciousness, like who Dolly Parton is because she's omnipotent. I also think that she was able

to represent God. I hate this sounds so stupid out of context, but like the Deep South is an underrepresented community, like they we don't have stories from the Deep South the way we do of other parts of this country. And I feel like what she brought to the culture was something that was based in this like extremely hidden part of the world and was able to take that and take and make her story the most beloved story

in the world. Right Like when we right before we were recorded, we were talking about like, while we were talking about and Roles is like, are you going to

talk about the Q score? I was like, fun, So like if you haven't, I've always talked about the fucking Q score, which is this thing that's mentioned in the Dolly Parton's America podcast, which is about this weird valuation of celebrities and like how like they are on the world, or rather how much negative sentiment is around them, and who has the least amount of negative sentiment around them, and like the two at the top are always like Dolly Parton and Adele Um And and I think that that.

I think, as you said, her ability to brand herself both strategically and a politically right because she straddles these two halves of the culture. I think it's why she's like always going to be relevant like forever and ever. Um She's able to at least like becoming like Miley's godmother.

She was able to take her like you know, base of like fifty something people that grew up with her in the country to go to millennials and people even younger and all of us understand like her cultural impact and meaning and so now it's like the whitest s base possible. Oh God, I love her and Miley. I love that song rainbow Land, I have no shame. I

love the Malibu album. I think it's so good you famously don't like Younger Younger Now is not Miley's best effort, but there are some good moments on it, and that is one of the better ones that some will make me cry, like we really we have to get you to Dollywood, because not only is Dollywood incredible, but when

I was there, I stayed at the Dollywood Hotel. And Um, in at the Dollywood Hotel, so like in in the lobby or something, there is a song there that's locked up in a box that Dolly wrote that will be released on her hundredth birthday, whether she's alive or dead. And I stood and looked at the little box through the window. Oh my god, I have goose bumps. I know it's so it's so fucking cool. And there's just like the hotel, there's like butterflies everywhere. There's a Dolly Spa,

there's a like everything is Dolly themed. There's a gift shop where you can buy Dolly stuff. I think I have like a fridge magnet that has Dolly on it. Um I have. I Also when I was there, I was gifted um by not Dolly herself, by her team or maybe she did hand it to me. Um. I have my I have a signed copy of Jolene. I'm so jealous, Oh my god. And I got to interview her,

not once, but twice. Yes, Wait, tell me what was your experience, Like what did you I mean to the effect that you can even describe Dolly Parton like it was? I mean, it's incredible. It was really nice that so so for context, I interviewed her. Um. She had a a limited Netflix series UM called Dolly Parton's called Dolly Parton's heart Strings, which will discuss all these little shows that are each each episode is based on a different

Dolly Parton song. Like it's not very good, but because of it, I got to meet Dolly and it was a it was a pretty long press trip. Um. It was a couple of days, and the first thing we did was interview Dolly, which was kind of nice because it was the thing that I was the most stressed out about, see a lot of the way and um, I asked her. I don't even remember what to ask her, maybe like on I'll post the interview on our on the like a virgin Instagram. But she was like very warm,

very sweet, like put me right at ease. She you know, sometimes like of course, I asked questions that were like a little gay, a little like pushing the envelope a bit, and she just like was right there with me. Shouldn't answer her everything. Um. And then the second time I interviewed her was they were having a premiere for the show at the theater at Dollywood, UM, and there was a red carpet, and so we got to interview her on the red carpet and what um? I went to

interview her. And so at Dollywood there's a museum. There's a Dolly museum that has a hologram of Dolly, and she like comes in like a fairy and it's like hey, y'all. But they also have all of her looks at the museum, like all of her iconic looks, like looks she's worn in movies. They had costumes from best Little her house in Texas, UM, all of her concert looks like Hi. I would physically cry. So when I was interviewing her on the carpet, I was like, Dolly, we got to

go to the museum today. And she was like, oh, you would have loved all those clothes. Like she classed me right away. She knew, I mean, she knows she surrounded my bags and day one. Um. Um, but she was. She was amazing. She was very generous with her time to all the journalists that were there. She's super sweet. She's like, looks exactly how you expect her to look. She's very tiny, her tits are huge, her hair is huge, she has like crazy long nails. She is covered up

from top to bottom everything. She wears this fucking rhind stone because she famously has has like people say she has like a sleeve of tattoos or whatever, but I know that she is like she doesn't like her tattoos and she covers them up. She probably just doesn't like her arms. Oh yeah, are you going full to ally? Are you like long sleeve only from here? No? No, no, but um, I also don't like my tattoos. Um, but yeah, I do feel like that is like a life goal

mischief managed. I have met Dolly not once, but twice, and I got to like touch her, you know. She Yeah, I have touched Dolly Parton. That's crazy to think about, like she Oh god, I okay, wait, since you brought it up, since you brought up heart strings, we you're now reminding me that Dolly Parton and who gave us heart Strings also gave the culture the whole halways smells like come, which was uttered via one Tricksie Mattel. I was in the room for that moment. Were you in

the room for that moment? I don't remember. Back in the Netflix days, if you haven't seen Tricksie and Katya, watch this episode of Heartstrings. It's like the funniest fucking that episod is no longer on the official Netflix. You're two right, you have to take it down because of like copyright stuff. Yeah, you have to. You have to watch the you have to watch the bootleg version. But it is definitely the most iconic. Um. I like to

watch episode for sure. Oh yeah, Trixie sells pillows. Now that's say the whole hallway smells like like um, which it does. Um Wait, did you see um I'm sorry to bring Did you see Dolly parton Christmas? Her Christmas in the Square? The Square? Yes? I did watch it. Um you know what is it about? It's like it's it's it's about Christine Baranski's is like a mean, high powered businesswoman who who um like, owns most of the town she grew up in and she goes back over

Christmas and Dolly Parton's her fairy godmother. I want to say, um, And you know, Christine Baranski like learns life lessons and learns to love again and saves the town. And it is a musical. The music is fine. Christine, I'm sure is amazing. It's Christine is great. Dolly is great. She's like at one point she's very tiny. She's like in the cup holder and Christine Brandci's call her. That's sounds amazing. That's actually rose that That wasn't movie magic. That's actually

how big Dolly Parton is in real life. Like that was that is actually when I interviewed her, I held her in my hand. Yeah, in your palm. You're like, hello Dolly, Dolly. Yeah, like Julie Roberts Tinkerbell. Um, okay, I I honestly now want to watch that. Maybe next Christmas. Well maybe I'll get stone and watch it. It sounds like that's a solo journey for you. I don't know that I'll be watching it again. I don't know if

it's something that ever needs to be revisited. Slide into our d m s and let us know what's your favorite Dolly Parton song. What's your favorite Dolly Parton movie? Um, do you identify as um Backwoods Barbie or do you identify as the Backwoods barb? Um Backwoods barb Next week we'll be back with a new episode. Don't know exactly what as yet, Stay tuned UM until then, connect with us online at Like a Virgin. I'm your co host Rose Damn You. You can find me anywhere on the

internet at Rose Damn You, and I'm Frandarada. You can find me at France Squish co on any social media. Please leave us a rating on Spotify, leave us review and Apple podcasts. It really helps us out. Like a Virgin is an iHeart radio production. Our producer is vb Unter, with support from Lindsay Hoffman and Micky Etour. Until next week, Bye y'all, Bye y'all. M HM.