Fifteen Loads on a Dead Them's Chest

Everyone grab an orange so you don't get scurvy. Because today we're talking all things pirates, specifically the iconic film franchise Pirates of the Caribbean, and we're gonna be talking all about Kira Knightley, Orlando Loom and like kind of Johnny Depp even though we don't support him obviously, and we're going to talk all about pirate culture adventure movies of the early two thousands and give you all of our opinions at hot takes, because this is like a

Virgin the show where we give yesterday's pop culture today's takes. I'm ros damn you, and I'm Fran Toronto. Yes, I know we said that we were taking a break for two weeks, um, but then we decided that, you know, we wanted to go pirate around and pillage a little bit longer, just a little longer, So hang in there. So this week's episode will not have a news segment. That's fine, just like contemporary of them. Yeah, just go

on Twitter and see what's going on. Yeah, and we'll be back with regular episode format sooner than you know it next week. And barring unforeseen circumstances, well, you know, let's make any promises we can't keep. Yeah, I mean, you know, yeah, our dean man on a dead them stressed fifteen loads on a dead thus stressed more like Rose. You have said, as you often say about many, many, many films, this is today to today. Shut up, shut up,

you're so predicted. Today we are today. We are discussing day were the greatest movie ever created, ever made, According to Kay, the greatest movie. You know exactly what I was going to say, I know, who did I say a lot? That's something something we're talking about is the best movie ever made, the best you know what? You

also say a lot of this. You know what, you also say a lot this clarification around the greatest movie ever the movie, the movie we are discussing today is legitimately in my list of my top ten films of all time. I know that I know that much as true. But that's not what you say. You say that this is the greatest film ever made. Yeah, well, like is you know, I wouldn't argue with well, like, Pirates of

the Caribbean. Curse of the Black Pearl is better than Gone with the Wind, better than Citizen Kane, better than Casablanca. But I don't think anybody would argue with that, better than Titanic. Maybe all those movies are very I mean, okay, name a movie and I'll tell you those. Pirates of the Caribbean's better. Um Schindler's list. I knew you were inn Sationler's Lists of the Caribbean's Okay, twelve years of

Slave better, I've never seen it. Pirates is the best Holocaust movie ever made, the best disaster movie ever made, the best social justice movie ever made, the best movie ever made about general conforming people. Truly. Okay, I want to be clear about some thing. We are talking about the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, but we are mostly talking about the first film, which is like kind of like the only film that I recognize. Wow, so you don't love that. I do like the second one, the

fourth one, sucks. The fifth one we will not discuss. I don't even know there was a fifth one. Also, I want to give you know, the caveat that. I understand it's very complicated to talk about Johnny Depp in two. We do not support him, but this is his best performance. But this is, yeah, one of his best performances. You wouldn't say his best performance. What would be a contender for Johnny Edwards. I like acquieter Johnny depp performance, but

that is a it's a great role. But you know, art from the artist, as we always say, not not what we're talking about Johnny Depp. Johnny Depp sucks, but we will be talking about him a lot. But but his art as an actor is I think, you know, chuckle lot Ross, you know, oh my god, I really want to watch a lot. I need someone to watch a lot with me. I can't watch alone. You want to watch I bring it up every time we hang out. Every time hang out or go on vacation, You're like,

what do we woke a lot? Do you want to be bad? Like we could be like one? But I think that's actually happened when we were like we're okay, and you're like let's watch choke a lot. Yeah, okay, so let's just like go back here to talk about

what are this is a very our generation movie. In fact, I would say that Pirates of the Caribbean is like one of the movies to define millennial early as culture and everything that would follow in action franchises and the care nightly of it all, in the Orlando bloom of

it all. And honestly, like I do feel like it played a major part in was my uh I guess, like like most people growing up on Tumbler in the early odds, my obsession with nautical adventure culture and stories um, and I feel like that escapism that came with Pirates being at sea and all that jazz was something that has always been a part of my ethos. And you know, funnily enough, Pirates were never really a thing for me growing up except m a Treasure Island, which we will

discuss later on in the episode. But the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disney is one of my favorite Disney rides. And we have to, you know, to put this woman context, Like, we have to talk about the fact that it is a movie that is based on a ride at a theme park, which I did not know. You broke that news to me. I had no idea. Crazy that you didn't know that I had never been

to disney Land World. I had I had like only as a kid, like as like a five or six year old, had I been And I couldn't go on this scary ride. So I had no idea. And yeah, parts of the so parts of the Caribbean the ride is, um, what are um? You know? Our theme park expert Matt Rogers would call it dark ride, UM where you're like in a moving vehicle and going through like different kind of dioramas and like little scene jump scares. And the ride opened in nineteen seven and the movie sixty seven.

The film premiered in two thousand three, So it took about thirty five years to make this movie. Um, And where were we culturally when Pirates of the Caribbean came out? So I guess like this is the era of the

Harry Potter movies coming out, rampant, big franchises, big. This was definitely the era of kind of the the boom in blockbuster movie franchises, fantasies specifically right like Chronicles and Narnia Skyrocket and up like, I mean they saw a Lord of the Rings, they were like, get Chronicles a Narnia out there. Immediately. Disney probably wanted to get in on the action in some way, and so they looked at their existing I P. And we're like, what can we adopt as we are as they are want to do?

You know? Every quarter they're like, let's look at old things we've already done. And I don't think this thing of adapting a theme park attraction into a film had ever been done before. I wonder like what came first, the chicken or the egg? I wonder if they were like, oh, what if we did a Pirates movie? What if it's based on our really popular ride, or if they were like, what if we make a movie out of a ride,

Let's do a Pirate movie. So who knows, but Pirates of the Caribbean The Curse of the Black Pearl is, to my mind, a perfect film. M H. I agreed. I actually agree it is a perfect film. And um, it cannot be understated that it is a staple in bisexual culture, specifically because if because if you're by you have no choice but to be attracted to both Orlando Bloom and care Knightley as I was and still am as I wasn't still am. I mean, Orlando Bloom is

aging so well. I mean, he looks so good right now, and Katy Perry is a lucky man um woman. Oh my god, Katy Woman. Like, yeah, Orlando Bloom looks just as good in this movie as he does, know and like in very different ways obviously, Like in this movie he's giving swashbuckling waif vibes and now he's like, that's

a man, Marie, and it's all working for me. I really feel like he is like one of the last great heart throbs of the Lady nineties early ads, like because you have the one to punch of this and Lord of the Rings kind of at the same time. Yeah, And honestly, like heart because of social media, like everyone's a heartthrob now and therefore no one is, so we don't have that kind of concentration around that. The most

suit point. I actually I've been seeing a lot of conversation about that in terms of fashion and like trends, about how everything is trending right now, so that means nothing is trending, And I think you're right and that it applies to people too, and that like, you know, we obviously they're still like we have like the Twitter white boy of the months, like currently it's that guy from the Bear right right, But those are not It's

not the same level. Orlando Bloom was an institution in pop culture in a way that like men simply are not now. I think maybe someone now, Harry Styles comes close, But like I was just about to say, I feel, yeah, like they don't make them like the Jonathan Taylor Thomas is of the world anymore. And I you know, I think Orlando was like the direct successor to Leomania. Yeah, I wonder. I do agree that Harry Styles is the only person in my mind that is reminiscent of like

you know, Tiger Beat era heartthrob culture. The only one, the only the one I could think of was like Shawn Mendez. But he feels I mean, I just don't think there's anything sexy about him at all. And I also don't think that he has the same Yeah, I don't think he has the same appeal either. Um, but Harry still has exactly what we look for in a heartthrob um. And Orlando, I mean, this is his legacy and I want him to be in more movies like where did He Go? Why he? He actually was in

this Amazon series called Carnival. Oh, I want to say, Miss Carney. No, it's him and Kara Delavine Jumped scare Um and it's a fantasy show where Kara Delavine's a fairy um and he's like a detected It's it was actually pretty good. I I liked it, but I don't think it's I think it was renewed, but I doubt a second season is getting made. I do want to say, like I instantly loved this movie when it came out,

and like loved seeing it in theaters. But where this movie really sunk its teeth into me was when it came out on DVD, because I this is something sick and twisted that I did I And I think I talked about this before that, like when when I was a teenager, because this is kind of like how I

was conditioned. Like my mom always fell asleep with the TV on, so like that's kind of how I used to fall asleep when I was a teenager too, And like I've suffered like a life not long battle with insomnia and so like having the TV on was just kind of like a distraction, and for I would say probably like a year, I fell asleep with Pirates of the Caribbean on every night, and not just Pirates of the Caribbean, but specifically the DVD commentary track with with

herea Nightly and the guy who plays Norrington Jack Davenport, who I'm pretty sure is gay, I r L maybe or at least no, you know what, it's not that he's gay, it's that he played, which I found out later when I finally watched it, Matt Damon's love interest in the talented Mr Ripley, so he has kind of a gay vibe, and he and Kira in this DVD commentary track, which like, I need to find some way to watch it with that again because like obviously I

don't have DVDs. I like, I don't have a disk drive anywhere, but he and Kira just have this very really like really good banter on this commentary track, and it was so soothing. I guess it was kind of like listening to a podcast in a way I was gonna I was just about to say, it's very like

a SMR podcast. A lot of people use podcast to fall asleep these days because you know, they're so bar I did last night r I P DVD commentary like, oh my god, he was married to Michelle Gomez, so he wasn't gay, not gay allegedly I missed DVD commentary. I I think, I you know, in the long run, I'm like, you know, art doesn't need to be It's kind of distracting. It might not be necessarily true to the art to like have all that context around it.

It's kind of like cheating to me. But I do think that we should as a culture find a way to do a version of that in contemporary times. I'm thinking about the well podcasts do that, Like now there's this whole boom right now of the stars of old TV shows going back and rewatching them and doing podcast episodes about them or movies like two of the Twilight stars have a podcast where they talk about Twilight. Um, I know they're like One Tree Hill. Isn't there a

Redcap podcast that you've talked about before? That Sophia book? Anyways, back to the Kira of it all. She is seventeen when she was she was seventeen when she was Cash. She's eighteen in this film. She looks thirty four. Like she she is. Look I'm not sure she has always looked yes, I'm not saying that as an insult. She has always looked like a full grown woman. It's so jarring to me to learn that she was eighteen. Um, but she in this and she's good. She's perfect for

the genre. She is Queen of Courset's she is and I love how much is like part of the plot because the whole reason that she faints and falls into the ocean and like jump starts the plot of the movie is because of corset is too tight. We like a virgin, love any corset, poline. My favorite sequence in the film is, I mean, obviously it's are you best

to start believing in ghost stories? You're in one? Like that whole scene where she's like having dinner with Barbosa and then she runs out and sees the pirates, Like turning in the moonlight is the best part of the movie, and like it gives me chills every time the graphics

at the time, like I was terrified. Also the scene where they I think towards the end of the movie where they're like sneaking up on the like armada and so they're walking on the ocean floor at Skeletons so good, so compelling, so creative cinematic invention, and like one of my favorite sequences is um the first sword fight between Orlando and Captain Jack Sparrow in the Blacksmith's kind of

like Barn. It is such a well choreographed fight. It's like so in the canon of like you know that kind of action movie, and damn, it's just like I kind of I mean, it's almost like I think a lot about like what happened to action movies because they are every summer, the blockbusters that we go out to see, and yet every time I walk out of the theater of an action movie, with some exceptions, like something like everything everywhere all at once, it's like I am really

desensitized to the action. I'm exhausted by the repetitiveness or the formulaic nature of actions, especially if they come from the m c u I, and like there's no it's there's no way to track things, and it all just becomes this sort of like like splat of of things going on on the screen and none of it has any like weight or like there's no like tactle nous to it, and so seeing people like real people fighting

with swords. Like there is just something I think that will always be more compelling than the biggest you know c g I fight scene because like the you know, the end of Avengers end game is just like all green screen, and so because of that, it just like it's so easy to zone out during it because it almost has this like hypnotic quality, like it's like playing

video game. Yeah. And something else is like a lot of action movies these days are all based on you know existing I P and you know that's the Pirates of the Caribbean. Well, I was gonna say it's usually like based on another movie, like a movie that came out ten years ago, or another TV show or what ever. Um, but because they had to fully fabricate a plot, characters like set up, it is an original film, you know

what I mean. And there the ride like there's a little there's a little Easter eggs, but you know, they invented this story and it's actually like a really interesting compelling story of you know, like the stolen gold and the curse and like you know they have to get the like you know that Orlando is like the son of a pirate, and um, it's I think it's just such a it's such a good story. It's like very simple but twisty and funny and scary and spooky, spooky,

spooky spook. They're all they actually should be. These pirates should should find, should find support ed, durry, it's homeless, not toothless charity events. Um, there's some gay representation in the movie. And of course I'm talking about pin Tell and Righetti. Who are the two pirates who like very obviously our boyfriends, you know I do. Don't they become gay and like the third one or something like that.

Disney would never let them happen. Um, but well, I don't know what they to me, they are queer icons, Okay, yeah, I mean honestly, any any time there are two male characters in a film that are standing next to each other and talking, we we as an audience, have no choice but to presume them, especially if they're pirates, like but pirates, yeah, and like back in the day, like

I don't know, like it's it's c law, maritime law. Well, pirates do whatever the funk they will, Like I have read, I have read enough pirate fan fiction to know that women were not allowed on boats because like superstition. I guess like they explore that in in the film. They do. And because of that, obviously the pirates were fucking and sucking. Oh yeah, I mean that's the only outlet they I mean,

now I'm thinking once again of those teeth. Yeah, well, because once you lose enough teeth, you know you are able to better gum up a dick, not come up those gums along Phoeie. Phoeie's losing it. Also, just like im like, imagine the nasty nastiness of like having anal sex, like when you've been at sea for six months. And here's the thing. All these girls got gang green. All these girls got scurvy, they've heard, they've got fleas, they've

got lice, they've got dreads. They're white people with dreadlocks. Inappropriate. Um it is. It is just it does not up. You go into, you go in from it. Piss. There is a thin layer of brine piss. And this is an errand and chip residue. This is an era where people who lived on land we're only bathing like once a sea then, so imagine what people at sea without access to running water we're doing. Okay, if you were on a ship rose, Like, what what role do you

think you would have liked? Are you looking on the captain? Do you really think, yeah, that's I'm either the captain or I'm dead. You wouldn't want to be like you know first, you wouldn't. You wouldn't you wouldn't want to be the coach. No, No, I'm management. I am management. I'm white collar. I I don't know. I I feel like I was really Uh, I was really obsessed with like nautical culture as a kid or not as a kid. Yeah, Like I mean my first tattoo is is like this

like nautical phrase hold fast. Um. Like I, I, you know, wrote an entire novel that was like a queer nautical adventure novel. I wrote my senior year thesis in college about the inclusion of gay characters and adventure narratives and talked a lot about nautical adventures. Like I was a stand and I I used to tell people that Moby Dick was like my favorite book. Um, even though it wasn't that well, no one should read that book. That book needed an editor, and it's actually says a lot

about um. The fact that like I think one of the only people that really reviewed it was his like kind of Herman Melville's like boy crush, Nathaniel Hawthorne and you I mean talk about second and fucking those girls were going at it. But you know that, like you know that Herman Melville like gave this like yeah, gay Herman Melville. Okay, this sounds a little bit too much like brand Y Melville. I don't know, You've got a

lot of l's in that name. He must be gay. Um, yeah, I feel like Herman you know, handed this nine page manuscript to his crush and was like do you like get you know what I mean? Like and Nathaniel Hoffin was like sure, like whatever, and then he like published, like what are passages upon passages upon passages that are basically like marine biology textbooks, like entire paragraphs about whale semen and making it into candles like she needed an editor.

The kid I really wanted to be a marine biologist. Every kid wanted to be a marine biology You were you like obsessed with the ocean as a child, Yes, I think my notven though you were landlocked. Even though I was landlocked, I was obsessed with the ocean. Um. But now in present day, the d see is one of my greatest fear mine too. The deep sea in outer space, I don't think, and honestly, the ocean is scarier.

I don't think there's anything in the known universe as scary as the ocean because it's not known, and also it's very close to us. It's right there outer space, very far away. Famously, are you gonna get there? How are you gonna get I don't have to worry about you speak of, you know, but exactly could literally go fall into the ocean. Yeah, if if you want to threaten me, Uh, Mama, you're hundreds of years away. I'm going to be dead by the time you get here,

and this planet will be destroyed. Second of all. But like the deep sea right under our fingertips, and like what the thought of like getting on a boat and being like, I'm going to go explore this vast world full of monsters that want to kill me. No no, no, no no, and pirates like kind of capitalizes on that fear, right, But like we have I mean, let's talk about the

kraken and we move exactly. We had a photo like in a people's history, we had a photo of the moon before we had a full photo of a humpback whale. Like that is like the sea is the bottom of the ocean. Just like the thought of it gives me chills. It is so terrifying, like the darkness and the pressure, not even the creatures, which like obviously are terrifying. You know.

What is one of the scariest things to me from my childhood, UM that haunts me to this day is my favorite museum is the Natural History Museum in New York City. UM. And my favorite part of that museum is obviously the Hall of Marine Life where they have all the different dioramas of like different like nautical landscapes, and there's one it's like in the back in the corner and it's of the bottom of the ocean and

like a giant squid wrappedor on a whale. And even just like standing there used to terrify me as a child, but also like kind of excited me. Like you know, it's like it was like pushing a bruise. It was like it hurts, but in a good way. UM. But truly, like if I, like if I was like a pirate and like fell overboard into the ocean, I would take out my my dagger, my sword and just slip my throat like it's it's it's over. It's over for me over. Yeah,

do not invite me on your deep sea coral reef adventure. Okay, scuba diving, no, maam, I don't want to see it. Have you spent a lot of time on boats? I I love boats because they protect me from what, you know, whatever is inside the ocean. I do not like going

into the ocean. Have you ever, like I think this is one of the most one of the things you can do as a human to feel the most like small is like um, being on a boat out at sea, and like jumping into the ocean is who I've only done it a few times in my life when I was when I was a teenager, my family we had a boat and we used to like go out into the ocean, and there were only a couple of times that I like, it's one thing to sort of like you're out with a bunch of people and you like

get off the boat and kind of like paddle around the ocean. But to like jump off and you have that feeling where like you sink down and it takes a second for like the air to lift you back up, and like you can get turned around and you don't know which ways up and which ways down. Oh my god, just like just thinking about it, it's like terrifying. Drowning would be the worst way to go. Um, if you if you were Okay, let's say let's say you and I are are on a pirate ship. Okay, you are

not the captain. Neither of us are the captain. We but we we feel like they're so well I'm saying that, like there's mismanagement a foot, like we don't really believe in. I was gonna say, we are going to stage a mutiny. How would we do it? Um? I think one of us we canceled the captain, We judge up some tea. We find their old tweets, No, we find their old I mean what an old timing. We find their old letters. Yeah, yeah, you're like, um, well in eighteen sixty seven. No, honestly,

like we fully kill them. We like, okay, so we're this is okay, this is so we are the ship. We are the horrors of the ship. We're like we are the like were they were like the painted eunuchs of the ship. Um or actually, as they would say, Harlot's hussy I think they would say, horrse um, we are the we are the bum boys trumpets if you love the ship trumpet. So what we do is like one by one we're like lowering different crew members who

we who we want off. We're like luring them to like a secluded part of the ship for a little a little like you know, a little tickle tickle the little sucker, and then off and killing them. We like throw them over, split their throats, whatever, and so honestly, so we've gotten sort of like we start out with like the lower level people, than work our way up to the mid level people, and then finally we're like, um, oh, hey, captain, like do you want both of us at the same time?

So we like are in the captain's chambers, we like put on a show, and then like at the moment gets a private dance, gets private private dance, and then at the moment of his climax, we tear our wigs off because obviously we're wearing wigs. I tear my wig off, and I am in non binary I'm half half because a reveal off, and we're wearing shorter wigs that are just like a little bit more unclosed, little little kitty

cat wigs, little bus driver kitty catwigs. And then we killed the captain m and then we parade his corpse out to the remaining crew, who we also have gotten onto our side with sexual favors um and then we're the new captain. We're co captains. But then, unfortunately, six months later, I do kill you because I know that if your ambition was able to get you to the level where you enacted this plan with me, I can't have you on the ship because you're going to call

for me eventually. The jokes on you because I made a deal with a seawitch right before I got on, and killing me will then curse you for eternity, and then I get to have my ship for eternity. Yeah, you get to have your ship for eternity. But then you'll be you'll never be sexually And I have an octopus face, just like and you have an octopus face, which you know he was hot? Oh absolutely, what was his name again, Davy Jones? Davy Jones? Yeah, hot? I mean you know that he are you? No, I can

funk with it literally occasionally. There is some you know, kind of alien porn that I've seen where I'm like, not, no, I'm into like I'm into like a tentacle face tentacle dicks. I'm not sure about like multiple wriggling flesh colored dicks. No, no, no, not for me, not for me. But I would never yuck anyone's young. I would. So being a pirate is like I would say six about eyeliner. What eyeliner do

you think they're wearing? I mean it's I would be too obvious to say a Pat McGrath moment, And honestly, it's a little too dirty for Pat. I feel like it's kind of an Nick's moment. It's kind of like a clumpy Nick's mascara. It's like a smudge. It's like a smudge. I would actually say, it's more it's maybe Mac like a Max smoky smudged eyeliner vibe. Well there's also you know, bandanas and and and earrings. Oh my god,

I'm literally wearing a bang and I was. I don't want to say it because it felt a little too on the nose, but like a little you are giving a little pirate right now, I am. I am. You know all these yohoho, indeed, all these pirates, though we're kind of giving like a little general informing drag. I mean like they were like they were going too the famous sample sale. Oh yeah, I mean I feel like, um, Johnny probably like had sex with a man as like you research for the role. Like I feel like you

had to step into many men for quote unquote research. Yeah, but I don't know. I actually want to be clear, I don't think Johnny Devi is gay. And I just think that he, you know, because he's very rock starry, like I mean, I think you've a certain level of fame.

You're just like sex is only about power, and like you just use sex as a tool to feel more powerful than people, right right, And I mean he did famously base this character off of Nick Jagger and Pepper Hugh and Jagger is in one of the later films as Jack Sparrow's father, Right, was he Is he an abuser? Mick Jagger probably probably? I mean Peppo Lapphu definitely was. Pepper lap known abuser. Absolutely never asked for kinsentce. You know it used to be one of my recurring sexual fantasies.

Um in college, was there you were getting fucked by Peppo lap Yes? No, there's a photo of there's like a very famous photo of Mick Jagger and David Bowie. They're kind of like all over each other and I used to like think about them hooking up all the time. And you still like park off to it. That's hot. I mean that those are like the Golden Ad. I'm sure that it happened. Yeah, I believe it. Yeah, David Bowie can't make music like that without sucking and sucking.

There's a David Bowie movie coming out that I really want to see. It's like a documentary slush concert film. Um oh, I don't want that, not like not like concert film, but it's like like his concert. Yeah, it like it like rebuilds like performances of his I think I'm very excited for that. I am Bowie is definitely one of my cultural blind spots. I think all of my knowledge and came from perks of being a wallflower. Yeah, let's do it. I would love I love Bowie. You,

I will I will um tonight. I will masturbate thinking about getting sucked to, like by Peppi La Pew. Let's talk about some other pirate media. Treasure Island so the best Muppets movie to have ever been crane. I I I slightly agree. I slightly disagree because I love Muppet State Manhattan, and I thought you were going to say Christmas, Carol. I mean, obviously I love all Muppet movies. I love

all classic Muppet movies, but Muppet State Manhattan. When Kermit gets hit by the car I have never cried so hard while watching a movie before Muppa Treasure Island. To have a very visceral memory of receiving the VHS of it for Hanaka. One year was one night I received a Muppa Treasure Island, a sketch book and like one of those huge packages of like crans and markers and paints that you know kind of like all used to come together in one like artist's palette, and I just

like spent that winter break like drawing Kermit and Miss Picky. Um. I don't meant for a lot about Muppet Treasure Island because I truly have not watched it in maybe twenty years. Wait, we need to watch because it is Miss Piggy's best work. In my opinion. I I think it's the best Muppets film. Although I mean, I know you're a traditionalist, but I actually think the first new One with Tina Fey and Jason Siegel is really beautiful. It made me cry, like

it was so good and remember liking it. And Fiona Apple is famously in it for like seven seconds her voice is I think ms Piggy said, oh my god, I'm sorry Fiona Apple isn't and it Joanna Newsom, Joanna Newsom? Why n Joanna Newsom and Fiona Apple are not the same person? I have you seen them in the same room before? Have you ever? No? I haven't, But but actually,

but do you? Were you at Joanna Newsom stan I because she does fall into the echelon of Caucasian you know, I like, I liked her first couple of albums for sure. I think a problem with her. And this kind of goes back to our conversation about Kim Petris before. I mostly like don't listen to her a lot because her music is not on Spotify and like, if it's not easy for me to access, I'm not gonna listen to it. Yeah, it's not. But proud of her for sticking to her

guns and fading into relevant. But you know what, to me, the most iconic thing Joanna Newsom has ever done was have that song beaten the trailer for that movie The Strangers, and so oh yeah, it's a very effective moment in the trailer. Okay, other pirate stuff obviously, Captain Hookum in both Peter Pan and the movie Hook, which I kind of only realized recently. Like, to me, it's like one of the most important movies ever made because it was

such a huge part of my childhood. But I think you're cook But I think Hook is like a flop. I think it's like considered a bad movie. What by really culture at large? Yeah, oh my god, I have never heard that before. I feel like it's so belood. Like if if I mentioned Hook at at any you know, house party where millennials are present, everyone starts talking about immediately because I feel like it was so formative to us. I didn't know it was. It was a success. No,

it made three million dollars. Maybe you're thinking about the one where Rooney Mara. No, No, it's a it's a it's a critical flop. It got really bad reviews and what Yeah, but you know what, those reviews are wrong. They don't they don't get it. They can't see the vision. Um. I have never seen the Peter Pan movie where Rooney Marrow plays Tiger Lily, because why would I. But I do know that there's a live action Peter Pan coming where Jude Law plays Captain Hook, which I'm very excited for.

I um, I was really let down by Jude Law and the Harry Potter movies, and so I'm therefore not really excited. But maybe if he's going to throw himself into it, he better he better give us something really new, Like I want full character invention. I don't want to see Dustin Hoffman's hook. I don't want to see Disney's hook. I don't want to see any other hook. I want to see, you know, his hook. I would like to see an actual, like kind of scary, villainous hook rather

than a camp be over the top faggotty hook. Yes, but the faggoty I mean, Dustin Hoffman's faggoty hook is incredible, like it's so so faggy um and also a wait, it's it must be stated for the Virgins that Glenn I'm do you know this? Glenn Close has an iconic cameo in Hook? Did you know this? Who is she? Glenn plays the pirate that gets thrown into the Boo Box. Oh my god, Wow, she has a full beard, full prosthetic. Yes she we we do not talk enough about the

fact that Julia Roberts was Tinkerbell and Hook. I mean, and she's gorgeous in it. I mean it's so funny too. It's like a very Spielbergian thing to be like, Peter and tinker Bell were fucking right. But a hook as was definitely also extremely important to me, and I would I think some of the Virgins have requested a Hook episode. Maybe There's more was one of the movies I rewatched over and over again. You know, Maggie Smith is in it. I'm just looking at the cast now. Maggie Smith is old, Wendy,

Gwyneth Paltrow is young Wendy. Yeah, and George Lucas and m Carrie Fisher have cameos as faceless people kissing on a a memory montage. I remember. One of the sexiest parts of the movie is when at the beginning when Robin Williams gets thrown into the ocean and all the mermaids come and like kiss him to give him air. The movie is so really erotic in several places. I know that Rufio is like a big first movie crush for a lot of people. I didn't seem for them, Queen.

I mean like the little belly shirt, quing, the little belly shirt, the little mohawk. That's like basically what people dress up as when they like go to a Suzanmbarsh party. I mean, well, I'll, I do want to say something, and I don't think I'm being rude and saying this. Everyone who falls on the non binary spectrum is giving pirate in some way. Well, Pirates were the first nin binary is a huge overlap between non binary presentation and

pirate presentation. Yeah, I can't wait for you and I to um lead a mutiny on a pirate ship covered and come for some reason with tentacles consent cales because you have to consent. We'll see you next week. In the meantime, tag us slide into our d m. Yes, you can tag us at like a virgin for on Instagram, and you can of course leave us a review on Apple Podcasts. It really helps us out. I'm your co host Rose Damn You. You can find me anywhere online at Rose Damn You. And I'm fran you can find

me at Franz Squish co anywhere you want. You can subscribe to Like a Virgin anywhere you listen to podcasts. Rate us on Spotify, leaver review on Apple Podcasts. Um Like Virgin is an I Heart Radio production our producers Phoebe Unter, with support from Lindsay Hoffman, Julian Weller, Jess Crane Chitch and Nikki Etour. Until next week, you better start believing in ghost stories, miss Turner. You're in one that was pretty good. That's a good Jeffrey rush By