Coke Zero is Cis Passing (feat. Cole Escola)

pup ba that makes me so upset. Well, you know what also I'm loving is that we have Cole s fully here today to talk about soda, which is a very interesting topic for this podcast, and I'm as super excited to get into a conversation literally about soda with Cole who if you don't know who Cole is, like you truly are are sleeping on some of them some of the best culture that exists, truly. Cole is a comedian, actor, producer.

You've seen them on Search Party, on z Way, on TikTok, on YouTube, truly everywhere, and um, today we're gonna be talking about our favorite carbonated beverages. We really didn't know what to expect from this episode, and we talked about so many things that aren't soda pop, but like, let me tell you, this is one of my faves. Yeah, because this is like a virgin the show where we give yesterday's pop culture today's takes. I'm rest on you now, I'm fran Toronto. Spot up? Do we have to pay?

Justin Timber? Like, now I saw Josie on the Pussycats. Finally, Yeah, it's terrible. It's terrible. I'm going to kill you. I understand why people love it, and that is not my sense of humor. I think that the movie should have just because you don't have a good sense of human The movie should have just been Alan Coming and Parker Posey. And if the movie was just Alan Coming and Parker Posey, it would have been an amazing movie. I can't do

this with you. The Pussycats are not compelling. Three of the most uncompelling protagonists for a movie I've ever seen. I don't know how they were cast, especially the lead girl, like she literally looks Rachel Lee Cook. She looks like nobody. She looks you are you are infuriated, like a shadow of a human being with a face like a plain white I ke A Plate and I know that, I know that art is subjective, but I want to I want to objectively say that you are wrong. I'm okay.

And then Josie and the Pussycuts is one of the best movies ever made and every person in is a star. Let's move on from this argument and talk about something that we both love, which is girl Girl Girl Girl Girl, Girl, Girl Girl, which is f Y Island. Um. We for some reason forgot to talk about it last week, even though it was the thing that we were like the most excited to talk about. And for anyone who doesn't know, f Boy Island is a HBO Max reality show, um

that is now in its second season. And I think it must be said that like a show with a title FY Island, which is a bad title for a team hosted by Nicki Glazer. It sounds it sounds allah milf Island, like thirty rock farce of a reality TV show,

and it kind of is. It kind of is. But the thing is like, if you know Rose and I you know that sometimes we like stand idiot culture and we're like, this is so good, minions, I'm a thinking god, but like this is a legitimately prestigiously executed reality TV show that has totally to me like blown so many different kind of reality TV tropes out of the water with crystalline jokes, an excellent conceived contestants that are mind blowing,

lee stupid and yet nuanced and like manipulative. The so the format for for virgins who have not watched it is that there are in every season, there are three women who are looking for love and a group of twenty four men who have either come to the island as f boys who you know, only want sex and money and nice guys who are actually king for love.

And the women have to go on dates with these guys and then at the end of every episode figure out who they want to eliminate, and when the suitors are eliminated, they reveal whether they're an F boy or a nice guy. And the way the show ends is that if the women pick an f boy, that man has the ability to take the hundred thousand dollars that is up for grabs to themselves or split it with them.

But if they pick a nice guy, then they split it and you know, like ostensibly run off into the sunset to be in love and what's funny is like the actual competitive stakes of the show are really driving, Like it's a really good engine for the show, and at the same time, you don't really care about the money as much as you care about like how it's all going down, Like you know, over the course of the show, it's not always a mystery what the status

of the competitors are. And I think what's really interesting is watching these women, even when they're presented with the cold hard evidence of their love interest being a fuck boy, still are like, but I can fix him. It's so actually like a scientific examination of the human condition and our our predilection to falling in love with bad people,

like bad men, and thinking we can rehability. One thing though, that I do like about this show is that the women are not pitted against each other and they they each choose kind of their pool of men pretty early on the season, so they're not competing for the same guys,

and they actually help each other out a lot. And I also really like I think, especially in season two, Nikki Glazer, the host, spends a lot more time with the women and gives them advice, and there is this sort of like camaraderie and like sisterhood built between them and they help each other out, which is such a nice change from most of reality data. You would think that they would be pitted against each other, that there would be cat fights, that they would manipulate, that the

producers manipulate them against each other. But I would say that even though the Funk Boys really do have an upper hand in the game, you can't say can't say fun is so hilarious. I love that these women just like really getting the trenches together, and that even though the Funk Boys sometimes have an upper hand in the game, the show is through production, through the way that the game is created, through all of the jokes that the

host makes, is all designed to humiliate these men. It is completely and devoted to showcasing the idiocy of these men, their lack of basic human relational skills, and and exploiting that for comedy. It's very men. Am I right? Did you watch all three episodes that dropped this. I loved when they were like, um, this is where we would

put the footage of their date, but so funny. I also love that pretty much all of the f boys are named Garrett, Jarrett, Gary, or like Jared wait friend, are you are you an F they are a nice uh? And if they are a nice them, I think I have some F they tendencies. I'm not gonna lie, but I think that anybody that knows me would probably say IM a nice thing because I'm kind of I don't really have game, and I feel like that is the

the kiss of death for most nice guys. As like nice as they are, they don't have like game, you know, and that turns the girls off. Well, Rose, what do you consider yourself? Do you consider yourself an F girl? I'm an F girl? I mean, I know you're an F girl, as if I needed to ask a girl. Um, so who are you rooting for for this season? I don't care. It's not about that for me, I don't like the truly answer was the Italian stallion Danny. Okay,

it's Danny for me. Danny has bad hair and the facial hair and terrible facial hair, and still and still he is so sexy to me, and I think that is a techn it disgusting. I was really fix him. That is the basis statement of the show. I could fix him. Um, what else have you been watching this weekend? I haven't really been watching a lot of TV. I did read a book this weekend that I really liked.

It's called Her Majesty's Royal Coven. It's by Juno Dawson, who is a British author, and it's an urban fantasy about this group of witches who were like friends and childhood and now they're like kind of coming back together in their thirties. And it examines the idea of in a world where women are witches and men are warlocks and they're sort of like a power and balance between them, what happens when there are trans witches, which is I

think really interesting for a fantasy novel to examine. It's also like very funny and very like there are so many like really obvious references to things like Buffy and Charmed, But I want to I want to read. It's really good. I I read it in a weekend. It was a really quick read. It's going to be a trilogy. The

book ends on this like insane cliffhanger. It's also it deals a lot in turfi Ism and the villain of the book is a turf and it's it's so cool to see this like very real war old evil turned into this very fantastical evil. Um, and the book is very much I think because Juno is a trans author in the UK, like it very much reads as a kind of direct response to J. K. Rowling's disgusting terfism, and I really enjoyed it. Definitely recommend it. Um. Wait, so you saw Thor and have now watched You've now

gone backwards and watched the first couple Thor movies. Um, so I'm very interested to hear what you thought of them. Yes, I watched the first and half of the second because I think the second one is like I think most people say that that's like the worst one. I decided to watch them, honestly, Rose because you said you kind of preferred that that style to take a a t d S takeover, and I knew that I was going

to like Tagas movies more. But like I loved the first Thor movie and I thought it was so I mean, I love that the lore of Thor and everything around Asgard is very like Lord of the Rings, like very Rivendell, And I like that there is a kind of medieval energy that pumps through the first two movies in a way that has kind of taken away from us in

the tycha iteration of it. Obviously, I'll always want like kind of comedy and reality and things that are based more in like like the humans of And something that I really appreciate about the most recent two movies is that like Thor becomes someone who's in you know what I mean, Like Thor is sensitive, like a kind of

weird baby. Um. I think that it's really cool that there's this like quintessential character flaw of him being like toxically masculine in the first movie that has like really brought him to such a full character arc um in so many different ways, to be a much more self realized person who maybe you know it, is proud of his emotions and sensitivity sometimes Or isn't afraid to love and and um and still makes mistakes, but at least he's doing with better intentions and thinking of other people

and stuff like that. I don't know, there's a lot about the growth of it that I appreciated. And you know, even though that these four films that divided by two are very separate, I still felt like the arc was great um And I think Thor is honestly one of my favorite franchises. Did you notice that in the first movie his they bleached his beard and eyebrows and it

was so weird, so weird. I was like, why, I I really failed to understand, Like, does Thor really have to be canonically arian blonde like so much that they needed to bleach his brows and beard like it looked so fake. I just like I could not like it. It was just not the t um But I but, I mean, I'm so glad they fixed his wig and got him together for these most recent wait we both saw um Love and Thunder. Yeah. I I agree that the movie. The Thor films have definitely evolved a lot.

I like what they've evolved into, but I, as you said, I do kind of prefer the vibe of the earlier movies. I mean, can we talk about the fact that, like we were told this is what this was going to be, like some super gay movie, and it was that it was nothing of the sort. It was nothing of this sort.

And you would think that when we see this promotional image of Tessa Thompson Natalie Portman with their arms looking like that, their arms girl like the and they're not going to give us even an inkling that maybe they're gonna hook up like that was so and Natalie it

was actually overwhelmingly hetero. It was overwhelmingly heterosexual. There was like a brief moment at the beginning where this character named Axel could maybe be considered trans or they're teeing it up to maybe be a trans character in the future, which I don't even want to get into because it's

so conspiratorial and that's exactly what they want us to do. Um. There was a brief moment where Tessa Thompson's character Valkyrie talks about her ex girlfriend and then what the rock guy says that he has to dads, I was like, fuck off. And then he does get a boyfriend at the end. Yeah, yeah, that was fine. But it's like, I don't care about the fucking rock guy. That's not queer representation. He's a rock, He's a Rocks are part of the community. Okay, part of the plus if everything,

I mean, did we learn nothing from everything? Just about to say Phoebe said, please don't erase my eco sexual ideait I'm sure, Um, Rose, I just I know you and I already discussed this off Mike, But like we have to say on the record that Natalie Portman's wig rotted absolutely. I mean, she phoned this movie in. They gave her a billion dollars and she said, I'm going to give you the stupidest ship you've ever seen, and yeah, you can put this Amazon shake and go. I don't know.

I think her acting. I think her acting was exactly as good as the movie Um deserved, you know, actually, I mean it was. It was funny, it was actually very interesting. It was a stark contrast to watch the first movie after because she is her and Thor are so much more totally grounded and it's a it's a true romance most of the time, and the stakes are much higher and then not really had to pivot to

being Taikawait absurd Um. And I don't know, I thought the plotting was just like very lazy throughout and that all the performances suffered through that. And I also just wanted way more Tessa Thompson. Why didn't she get to keep the Thunderbowl? Like why did she have to give that up? I was like, that's like, I was like, that's a perfect weapon for her to have now. And I don't know, I thought Christian Bale was just Voldemorre. Oh. I thought Christian Bale was actually the best part of

the movie. I thought he was. I thought he was legitimately scary. I mean, I don't even want to give him flowers. I thought it. I just thought that the conceit of the villain was to Baltimore and I was, I just I couldn't. I was certainly the look of the villain was very Voldemore. The look of the villain was extremely Voldemore. I thought that like a kind of necromancer shadow dweller thing. I was, like, that just feels

Lord of the ringsy Voldemort. Well, I mean, everything is drive, But I think this is this is a movie that's a It's literally about bringing all these you know, gods from different pantheon's together. It's like the most derivative it possibly could be, which I thought was on the writing level, really fun. There's this scene where all the gods they go to like a god convention essentially, or like a meeting of all the gods, Greek gods, Norse gods, like

God's from all over and um. And I thought that that was like I laughed throughout and it was. It was one of the better parts of the movie. I think don't need to see Russell Crowe and the m see you though, Like my fucking god. But you know, the movie is fine. The movie is really fine. I mostly like just kind of don't think we need more

Thor movies. And I wonder if there's going to be another one, because you know, Comic Con was this weekend and they announced like the next two phases of Marvel, and it doesn't look like there's another Thor movie coming anytime soon, although I'm sure he'll show up in other stuff, like the two Avengers movies that are coming out. God, I am so I'm fatigued just hearing the announcement of two more Avengers. But I'm so excited for Agatha Coven

of Chaos obviously. I'm also excited for Echo, this kind of indigenous story that we're getting. Oh did you watch the Black Panther trailer? No? Was it good? Oh my god, girl, It's like it was very emotional. Oh my god, I have goosebumps even and Angela Bassett was eating Oh my god. I mean, that's one of my favorite Marvel films ever.

I actually need to rewatch tbh um. Speaking of Angela Bassett, this is a nice segue into talking about Nope, because did you see the incredible impression of Angela Bassett that Kiki Palmer did as part of her Nope press tour. No, I haven't, and I haven't seen Nope either. You have to check it out. Well, I want I'll talk about Nope briefly because I'm sure once you see it will

do like a more deep dive discussion. But what I'll say, and I'm still kind of like formulating my thoughts about Nope, but it was a very different movie than I was expecting it to be. It was much more thoughtful. It's still like, you know, a big summer action blockbuster, but like much more heady than I was expecting. And if you're like kind of placing it in the pantheon of horror sci fi action films, it's much closer to Arrival

than it is to Independence Day. If that's like the spectrum that I'm creating for for where those kind of sci fi movies can be. And it's not scary, right, I didn't think it was very scary, But what I'm saying, it's like it's much more hetty and thoughtful and like introspective and like is really trying to say some thing about I think like celebrity and surveillance culture. Um. But you know, well, I won't spoil anything. We'll talk about

it more once you've seen it. But KICKI Palmer is such a star, um, and she is incredible in this film. I liked it much more than Us, which I did not really love. I loved Us. I felt like it's such a difficult, like sophomore follow up to the masterpiece that is Get Out with Note. I'm I'm really excited to see it, um, but I want to keep my hopes low. As a huge Jordan Peel stand like I, I'm just like every I just wish he would just make more. I want like more and more and more

from No. I think I think it's good for him to I think quality control is very important and that's and that's what keeps him as you know, he really is now a must see director. Like when I saw the movie on a Saturday afternoon, it was packed and his films are no event event movie is I was not allowed to drink soda and or pop um when I was a kid. We were a healthy household. Yes,

so you you call it pop? So did you grow up in the PMW, the Pacific Northwest, and we call it pop. We call it pop. But in other places, can you break down the soda slash pop dichotomy? If not binary, I don't know where. I don't know where the line is. I don't know if it's the Mississippi or dialectical. I mean, I know in the South they call it it's all coke. It's all coke, right, it's even pepsi as coke. Yeah, and even seven up is coke, Like what kind of coke you want? Yeah? Because what

kind of coke you want? And then some people say cola like put my as he tastes like pepsicola exactly is already famously said. But you fall on the pop lines pop. But I wanted to be not from where I was from, so I called it soda as like a kind of sort of like, I'm not like you all, not like other girls. I'm not like other girls. So I have to know why is soda or pops so important to you? It's well, I mean it says so. I mean, already we know now that Fran was parented, Yes,

because of pop a k A soda. It was that dangerous, It was that and like what did you grow up drinking pop? Like what kind of soda was? Yeah? I did, but it was restricted. So um, you know when I was a teenager, only diet sodas were kept in the house. My mom was very like health conscious. Um my grand and you know what, I guess I do know what kind of soda every person in my life prefers, you know, like I know my grandma will only drink like caffeine

free diet coke, the caffeine free that nice pretty gold can. Yeah. I mean I'm a coke girl unless I'm on an airplane and then it's ginger ale all the way. I don't know why ginger ale tastes better in the air, but it does well. They say that like, um, it's like the bubbles, like when you order diet coke on an airplane that, um, it takes a long time for the bubbles to go down, like in the air for some reason. So it's one of those days harbonated longer.

But it's one of those things that flight attendants hate it when you order diet coke because they pour it and then they have to stand there and wait for the like the foam to go like like another diet coke. I had a flight attendant on my flight here. She I slept for like most of the flight, but I did wake up when the beverage cart came around and she bent down to be like, anything for you, sweetie, and I you know, I was wearing a mask and

I and I gave it for you. By the way, I said, UM, can I have some apple juice please? Because that's like that might go to flight beverages or apple juice or ginger app if I'm flying economy. That is that's very like tummy safe. Yeah, it is, um, And she went, I can't hear you, sweetie. And I was like, and all have an apple juice. And she said, I still can't hear anything you're saying. And I went an apple jice and the song chops, and she went, I still can't hear it. What what what a thing

you're saying. And the person next to me was like getting annoyed because I was being very loud, right, um, And so I pulled my mouth down and I'll have an apple juice and sonships. She was like, okay, now I got it. The mask on. She wanted to see the lips. I mean maybe she was hard of hearing. I don't know, like no, no, no, no, no, let's let's put her on black and here's her name and her bad let's and this is the flight root that I took. That old not old enough, I mean five minutes.

And we've already learned so much about the cultural power of soda and or pop. Honestly, I mean I grew up, that's all. That's all we drank. I don't know if I ever had water until I moved to New York when I was eighteen. I really don't know. And was it was it coke or was it pepsi? It was Safeway brand lemon lime soda? You know, special occasions were root beer, root beer. But you know that's a thing.

There are people who only drink soda. I really only drink saltzer now because I have to, But I would prefer I would I rather be drinking um seven up? Yes? Are your pop preferences still lemon lime soda? Or do you have now it's diet coke. It's all about diet coke. Why not coke zero? Because I like the taste of the aspartame. It sort of tastes like regular coke. But with well or like, it's sort of like um. The taste reminds me of how a new sneaker smells. Yeah, well,

it's it's definitely yeah chemicals. It's definitely its own flavor. Because I would say coke zero is trying to taste like coke diet coke it is coke zero is passing um, and coke zero like is non binary. I mean, diet coke is non binary. It's like its own thing. I'm not trying to fit in anywhere on the gender spectrum, right, it makes sense on conformity here in the pop world. I mean Pepsi and coke. I think we're both developed

by pharmacists. Well, coke famously used to have cocaine in it, right everyone, which it still did, which I know, and then they tried to do new coke or whatever. Do you remember that? Yeah, but I think it was like a marketing thing because then everyone really wanted original coke back, and well they were trying to make it more like pepsi, right, Okay, because I I can't say the difference. Are we a pepsi family or a coke family? I mean I go for diet coke, but you know, did I because of

Britney Spears was I when I was a kid. Of course. Actually we have to talk about the Pepsi's versus coke wars of the early adds and how that Britney Spears, Christina and Pink commercial was like the Gladiator one and was later the Carmen hip Hopera. No, Beyonce was in the Gladiator was was she really? It's yeah, I don't know this ad. You're talking Gladiator. I just remember, just enjoy the It's Beyonce, Brittany and Pink. Oh I thought it was Christina. So Brittany, Beyonce and Pink we're in.

But it's pepsi. It's not coke. It's right. And this was an ongoing contract with Beyonce because I remember another Pepsi commercial. We're in Beyonce A does the Carmen like the Carmen Opera, but they rewrite the lyrics to like be about pepsi. Um. But that era I think of Pepsi that was like, I mean, nothing was more thrilling than are you? Why don't they get they don't really get the girls to do coke coke vers talking about Pepsi and coke the same way anymore, just the fuel

of the war is not there. We do kind of live in a post soda world, I think because because because of the advent of Lacroix, Michelle Obama got she got in that Oval office and took our SODA's away. Yeah, well, I mean soda, soda is really bad for you. It is so bad for you, and and even I mean diet coke. Like, but then there were also I mean, do you remember Jones Soda? Yeah, yeah, what's Jones soda? Jones Soda was like the artisanalster. Yeah, but it was

like available in my like grocery store grocery stores. It had like new like real sugar in it or something or something like that, sugarcane. But they also they have a bottled Shirley Temple that I really would try. Well, they were hipster because they had black and white photos on their label. It's it was giving Tumbler. It was Tumbler before it was like original Instagram where you put a filter on everything and it had the border. Yes, it was it was like I think actually maybe Jones

Soda like was the seed for Instagram. But they also had like green apple and blue bubblegum and my favorite was melon. They had a melon flavor, and I thought, I was so she what kind of melon do you think it was? It was sort of like cantalope. Really yeah, maybe a little honey do ish. I never would have guessed that because that's not really a favorable melon. It's like kind of one of the least popular fruits. I mean, because I mean those are really cantle opened um, honey

dew are sort of the only melon. Well, I was thinking water well, but then you would say watermelon, yeah, you would never would You would never call water melon and melon. You know what I used to get a lot like at a Barnes and Noble cafe was an Italian soda. Oh my god. I grew up getting those as well. Those are my favorite, really good. Those are

the creamy ones, are they? Well? You can you can get a creamy it's like seltzer and then they put some kind of with our cream they add into I always got it with cream and I love a cream soda. Dr Brown's cream soda. If you like, go to cats and get you know, a corned beef sandwich. I honestly, I I didn't drink any of these growing up, So I feel like I'm I'm only now getting into the bread. When were you like, um, did you like go to friends houses and likesoda there always and it was always bad?

It was naughty. Well, no, because I had been so conditioned to not enjoy soda that when I when I would go to my friend's house and they were like serving soda or whatever, I would drink it and the carbonation was too much for me. Like it was like I was like stimulated and I was like this hurts my mouth, like I can't handle it. Um. But now I mean, actually, okay, So you said earlier that you know the soda order of all the important people in your life. So I'm wondering if you what do I get?

I don't know because there are two correct answers. You get a coke? No, actually no, you get selt You just get Seltzer. Do I get a flavored Seltzer? Do you remember what flavor? No? Lemon lime or blue Power Raid? Blue Power Raid? Yes, not a soda, but it is what I get. But it comes does it come from a fountain? There's a at the a m C at them. This is an m C commercial. Um at the Yeah, this is a sponsored podcast. Um, brought to empowered by

Nicole kidman Um. There is like a big it's one of those machines where it has the screen and they have like seven hundred different kinds of out of one thing. It's like, yeah, and then your your drink kind of taste a little tiny bit like the last drink someone happen. Well, that reminds me, did y'all ever do graveyard of course, where you get a little bit of every different flavor At the McDonald in the Midwest, we called that the suicide. We would also call it suicide cereal mixed cereals, and

you know, it's disgusting but also delicious. It was so fun feeling like a chef, like a little of this.

You're the barista, and you know what I do still kind of do that because like a at AMC, I'll get like mostly regular coke and then a little cherry coke at the just then a little kiss like but then I've also been getting slurpees a lot recently, and I do I do know at at the movie theater and so I'll do wild cherry on the bottom, then coke, then a little more cherry than a little more coke than a little cherry on top and it kind of swirls.

But the thing with a slurpee is that like two thirds of the way in, it's hard as a rock and you can't get anything out. Yeah, they got to figure that out. It's been here they do. Maybe like there's like a you crack the cup and it heats up a little. The rest of it. It's a camel crush. Honestly, along the party lines from childhood lines of like what pop did you grow up? I also feel like cereals are also a very like defining thing of like how you grew up? Did you have specific cereals that you

are growing up? I was a Kicks girl Kicks. We had It's like the little like corn puffs. It tastes like kind of nothing. Yeah, they're they're pretty bland kicks and hunting up bunches of oats were yeah yeah or me and sometimes like um a um, what's the um oh frosted miniwheats. I wish they were frosted on both sides too cheap skates. I know that was actually one of Michelle Obama's crossing off and you know what, I want even less on that one side. Well, if there

are some you can get them where. It's just I know that it wants to eat a soggy, milky piece of wheat and then it's like cutting up the roof of your mouth because it's so hard shredded. It's shredded, literally shredding your mouth. What's we did you? Um? I mean talk about class like you know, we would we would have to buy the bag cereal that was underneath and even though like we couldn't, you know, I was. I was such a brat, like I was. I was so mean to my mom, who was just you know,

like trying to do the best she could. I was like, I'm not going to eat this, like I want name branch give me. I loved I loved honey bunches of oats. My grandma would buy honey bunches of oats and then put like, um, canned milk, like carnation milk that was like sweet milk. But yeah, it was so sweet. It was like so imagine me like waking up in the morning having an orange soda and like sugary honey bunches of oats with that sweet milk on too, of sweet a bowl of sweet thick milk. Okay, so do you

do you drink the cereal milk when you're done eating? No, never, because what I love about leftover cereal milk is then it's like, well, I guess I have to add a little more cereal until this is all gone. At fran, what were your childhood cereals? Raisin bran and I still okay pretty good? Um. I I did love frosted many weeks, and we did have kicks growing up. My sister loved kicks, um. And then I think we had like Life cereal do you remember, Oh, I love cinnamon Life. Also, why is

it called who named it? Life? Cereal? Like that to me? Seventies? Did it happening association with the magazine? Maybe? I don't know. I don't know because the game, the Game of Life, the Game of Life and Life magazine The Game of Life actually one of the most boring board games absolutely, like literally it takes seven years to hate it. Always liked it. And yeah, so why would you make have a game that was just like life like expensive? And so what was young Cole doing while they were you know,

drinking a pop? Oh? I mean pop was just that was like water, So it was like any any anything, I mean, but I loved um. Uh god, I remember, I remember was twenty five cents in that machine at the safe um and what a steel? Yeah, what a steel? And then returning the cans in Oregon, you know, five cents deposit. Oh my god, that is a fifth of the price of the soda. I know, I know, God, times have really changed this. What does this country come

to once Michelle Obama took over? Expensive of these days? How much is soda actually? Actually the idea? So I actually think soda is really cheap. And I remember a couple of years ago when they made all soda McDonald's a dollar, no matter what size it was. I was like, oh, they really are trying to keep us like really fat. Yeah yeah, yeah, Well they have healthy options now at Apple slices that are probably like still the same amount of calories as Do you ever work at a fast

food restaurant? I worked at an Arby's in high school. What's the Arby's work? Well, I was actually, well, I'm a vegan now and for some reason, I was also a vegan then when I worked at arby So you never had armies, no, no, but I would like, you know, take the big thing of roast beef out of that big wet bag that it came in. It was like just like we described it. It was like just imagine a big hunk of meat like but with a layer

of salt water around it in a big plastic bag vacuum. Yeah, yeah, yeah, And it's just like how did you have to think? How did you what did you have to do with it? You have to rip it open? And well I worked to the drive through, so I never had to do that interface with the customer. Yeah. Yeah, I was like, you know, like, hey, I'll entertain the truth. You keep them fed. Boys. I did have to like sometimes replace

the cheese bag. What's the cheese bag? The same concept? Yeah, it was liquid cheese that like goes onto the Honestly, this is all making me want arbies. I mean it does. I'm a vegan. It looks incredible, does it really? Also, it probably like isn't meat? No, I'm sure it's not. It's definitely not cheese. Yeah, it's not cheese. I don't know what part of a cow that that thing would be. It's kind of giving not to nerd out a little bit.

But there is an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer where Buffy works at a fast food restaurant, and the whole thing is that there's a burger that everyone loves and has two types of meat, and she thinks that like the secret is that it's people. But what turns out at the end is the secret that it's not really meat. It's like vegetarian. And I would totally believe that, like Arbies if they were like, this isn't really roast beef.

It's just like it's just wheat gluten and like salt. Yeah, I mean, I actually don't know anybody who like it's like, yeah, let's go get some Arbies. Like A love Arbies. There even order like just roast beef sandwich, just sandwich. And there's an Arby's near me in l A. It's right by, um it's right by the Netflix office. I've no, I've never been since I've lived there, but um I every time I pass it, I do kind of think what

if not? No? Not I I do, like I will admit like I like fast food from time to time. Of course, you know I'll hit it. You'll hit a rock bottom sometime and you'll be like it's time to go to Rby. Like you'll know I'm surprised it hasn't happened. There was a Saturday morning recently where I woke up and like, I had a fridge full of food. I could have like cooked breakfast, but I thought, you know what, I really want McDonald's breakfast, and I ordered it delivery.

I did. I couldn't even get in my car and drive, like you know, less than two minutes to go to McDonald's. I had to order it delivery. And you better believe that the second it was dropped off, I like snatched it because I didn't want anyone, any of my neighbors to see the delivery bag. They should do like advocate magazines to where it came in, because like a secret container. Yeah, but little discretionary like black like film that's over it

as if it's a porn. Did you have a favorite fast food place still to this day, I mean I haven't again, I'm vegan, SR. I don't how long have you been vegan? Maybe like eight years? I know, um Popeyees is definitely my favorite fast food franchise currently because we didn't have about when you were a kid, and when I was a kid, it was McDonald's breakfast Breakfast breakfast breakfast, and we would only my mom would get

it for us when we would go on vacation. Okay, I was just about to say, like she didn't let you have soda, but yeah, we would get breakfast when we were on vacation. Also, we had a babysitter, Michelle, who was this Russian woman or no, sorry, she was Polish, this Polish woman who we anceled. But I know, right, we pushed her to the point of like mental break but she would take Um, she would take us to McDonald's as well. Wait, what was your mom's like if

if she wasn't drinking soda, what was her like? Little vice? Um, we would have iced tea or mix iced tea with lemonade, which I still Arnold Palmer and Arnold Palmer right, yeah that has a name, um juices, I think. But there was nothing where you were like, Mom, why are you allowed to have this? And we're not? No, Um, I don't think so. I'm trying to think my we we

didn't eats. You know what's funny is like, even though we didn't drink soda as a family, we didn't necessarily eat like health food, which I'm grateful for, Like my mom wasn't like you know, water and you know tea only and like we're going to eat like you know, healthy food. But she was and she grew up like you know, under the poverty poverty line in like rural New Mexico, and so like she grew up I think with all these foods and knew why they were bad

or whatever. So but I don't know. Yeah, I didn't grow up Rose. What is your soda order? Then? Like to coke? I don't love. I love. I love coke, not like the like Mexican coke with real sugar I love. I will sometimes get a Mexican coke with real sugar, like if it's around um or if it's at a restaurant that has that, I'll order it. Um. I mean, I don't drink a lot of soda. But if I'm

going to the movies, I have to get a coke. Um. If I if I am getting fast food, like I want to coke, or if I'm getting taco bell, you know, I want Mountain jew Baha blast, Baha baha blast. Remember code red just to remember cod um. Do you remember clear PEPSI? I don't remember this clear well, it exists. I remember like people talking about it and you know it just skipped. Remember it came to I loved you who. I drank so much? You know you did not? I did you who? And um ah, what the funk were?

They called them? The thing dunk a ruse? You you who dunk a ruse? And a gobble stick? Does anyone know about is that meat? Yes? It was like a cheese stick, but it was turkey, no and in it but wet cold and wet cold and wet not cold. Yeah. I like the wet element. It was a cold turkey stick and I loved them so much. I love wet jerky. I love a wet meat stick. I don't want a cold. Also around that time was when salad shakers were a thing at McDonald's. Oh my god, Wow, I love talking

about extinct foods. Code readers really wanted. Was there ever cold? I think like sometimes things passed over my town because it was like, we'll try this in the cities. If it does well, we'll keep going. And it never trickled down. So did you grow up with you who are no? No? I think that's either I don't think you. I don't know, is it? Why didn't you just drink chocolate milk, isn't it.

I did also drink chocolate milk, but you who was just easier because it was like you just grab among the among the actual Okay, I don't know like how much cocaine people were doing. They invented kids snacks. They were probably drinking original formula coke. But like Gusher's don carus go gurt. Do you remember when go Gurt emerged on the scenes and we're like, yeah, I want to drink this great frozen tube. So good, so frozen. Most

things are better frozen. There's a thing now where people put grapes in the freezer and I just like, does it how do you eat that? Does it make them really hard? Yeah? It makes them really hard. I don't like putting frozen things on my teeth. I like, um, I get the little um the milk chocolate peanut butter cups at Trader Joe's, the little mini ones, and I put those in the freezer. Okay, that's fair. Were you

a lunchables kid. I was a huge chlunchables kid, especially lunchables pizza pizza, and I used to try to spin it on my finger. I would what I would do is I would um with the pizza. I would eat one of the crust's plane so that I had more pepperoni for the other two. I love. I love those kind of little like hack hacks and like and like rituals that you do with those kinds of food you were cooking. I was, yeah, I shot like. I was like, I was like, you know what, I want more pepperoni

on this pizza. And I'm gonna everyone's gonna look at over at my pizza and they're gonna be like, wow, you have so much more on yours. And I'll be like yeah, And this does make me think, Okay, So you know, kids when they're in school, like and they're like, do really disgusting things with food. Yeah, And when I was in elementary school, when I was in first grade, God,

I haven't thought about this in a long time. I used to puke like once a week lunch because the people in the cafeteria would do such gross things with their food. And I guess I just had like a really sensitive stomach and I was always yeah, yeah, I was like the puke girl. I love the puke girl. Actually, I remember my best friend in grade school would dip her chocolate chip cookies and ranch. That was like everyone discussed.

It was sort of show. It was sort of a show, but it was also like everyone knows Maria loves ranch. How much does she love it? And she's like, I love it so much, I'll get my chocolate chip cookies in it. And we'd be like, whoa, Okay, you win. You love ranch the most. One of my bullies and boy scouts used to eat barbecue sauce out of packets just straight up. Well I did. Used to um with the lunch bles pizza. If I had a little Marin aerosoft sauce left in the squeeze tube, I would just

sucking or not shooting marinera with them. Those like little packs of crackers that have the cheese or the peanut butter, and yeah, I used to scrape the cheese or the peanut butter off, take a pocket of mustard, make a little mustard sandwich with crackers, and then eat it. That sounds good. Wait, why didn't you just get like ritz

crackers and do that like no, no, no, no, remnant? Yeah, because I think I think, yeah, but as I think, I ate the peanut butter and then made the sandwiches and also the rich cheese cracker things, which are again a very specific nostalgic food. Those had the essential chemically taste of all the snacks at the time. You know that that kind of synthetic layer of on everything, which I think would be essential to your mustard. Yeah. I

also am loved getting bugles and putting them on my fingers. Yeah, so it looks like it looks like ales. Yeah, it's honestly every which which undertone, which does every comedian ever existed to have ever existed? That was the first. Well. I also used to do it with um black olives when we went to when we went to my grandparents

who lived at a country club. Their their country club has a buffet, and it's like every day is like a bar mitzvah um, and there was always a huge But I was really I was obsessed with pickles when I was a kid, and like still am. Like the other day, I was at our at the hotel, I'm staying out, and I walked over to the decal market that's like in the building where UM Target is and I went to cats As Delhi and just got a bag of pickles to bring back to my hotel room

and like snack on. Um. No. But when I was a kid, I was obsessed with olives and I would put them on my fingers and just like beat them up one day one like, yeah, okay, here's the theory to be positive cold. Do you think that, um, the way that we interacted with like soda um was like a training ground for the way maybe some of us

experimented with more illicit substances as adults. I definitely loved pretending like that was my cocktail at the end of the day, you know, like coming home, Like as soon as I get in the door, I'm having a lemon lime. Um, I'm I'm putting my feet up to the same thing. Make me a drink I would pour. I would pour an Arizona iced tea into like a tumbler like it was a Scotch. And then I would break out a

pretzel a pretzel stick like it was a cigarette. Like would you sit there, like at the office, would you recline into a chair? And yeah, it was very It was very Tennessee. William Yeah, um, okay, I see that for you. Um, they remember those candy cigarettes, the Spider Man. Why, honestly, just think that the pretzel stick was more satisfying. I agree, But candy cigarettes were banned because I think it was discovered that they were literally trying to like turn kids

on the side. I'm sure right, um. And also wasn't a camel wasn't the camel from Camel cigarettes also banned because oh they like Joe Cool, not his name being Joke Cool. That's like two on the note. I wonder to these days. He's out of work, he's touring with Louie. He's actually working with JK Rolling on her next project. He's in turf Where was Joe Cool on January set? Yeah? J K Rowling is writing the stage adaptation of his life. Absolutely,

that's Joke Cools going to do. I Um. I wish that we were more UM soda forward, Like I wish that we kept um like there were soda pairings, you know, like a yeah, a soda flight. I do think that exists because you can well, like at Universal or Disney, there's um a places that are not that you can um. There's there's definitely a place of Universal where it's like

sodas from around the world. It's like coke in every different country and continent around the world, and you can try all these different Yeah, you know that that existed. Me and my friends have this multimillion dollar idea. So those listening at home please do not steal this idea of having a water world wherein we have all the waters of the world, and New York tap water obviously would be probably the most popular water that we would sell.

Could also be like, you know, this is tap water from I don't know, Minnesota, or like tapiter and water, or you know what I mean. Do you buy soda to have at home? I buy Lacroix, But then every like if I was being honest with myself and who I am, I would I would be drinking regular soda. What's your favorite Lacroix flavor? Key Lime? Mine too. I

think that's my favorite too. Yeah, I love um mixing it with with like other juices and things too, just like lemonade, but instead of water using key lime Lacroix. You know what else as good as um, they're lemon cello Lacroix. That one's pretty good. I don't I don't love that. I like key lime. Yeah, lemon cello key lime is the fuck lemon cello lemon Let's let's talk,

can we talk about the abuse. So for some reason, that line of Mariah Carey's and Precious the Cadence, the way she said it sticks in my head and it was really inappropriate. It's not like funny, but can we talk about the abuse to Monique? But coconut coconut? It tastes like toothpaste. Yeah, I don't love it. I sort of get off on how gross it is. Yeah, I

like that. It's a little step punishment. You're punishing yourself, like like, well, I like it in a d S relationship with you, that's basically the same thing as the ranch dressing on the cookies. Yeah, I like it. Yeah, I'm gonna borrow. I'm gonna be a barf girl. If you had to have a soda, if you had to have it for lunch today at lunch, what would you pick? And saltzer doesn't count, seltzer doesn't count. Um, we forgot about orange soda. I mean that's I love loves orange soda.

I do, I do, I do I honestly, I'm not sure. I think I would pick a diet coke. Yeah, coke, diet coke, I think I would want, Like I agree with Rose, It's like the circumstances in which I drink that are getting fast food in it makes aesthetic sense. I just realized what it is about diet coke that I love so much. It's very teacher's lounge, so teacher's lounge, and there's something about drinking it that makes me feel like, well, now I'm allowed in the teacher's lounge. I'm just like

Miss Vanada in seventh grade? Would you do kind of have teacher's lounge? And that's why I could cry because I feel so seen right now, like the ethos of almost every character you've ever yeah, yeah, I mean truly, every character I've ever done is just like me trying to get into the teachers Well. There was no space more coveted, oh none, And I felt like I deserved to be in there. It was like, if anyone in this school deserves to be in that room, it's me.

It was the room of requirement, basically. You and I remember walking back every time the door was like just close, and You're like, did you rever get to go in? I feel like I so. I was in student government for some reason. I had to do morning announcements. Did I live the show? The original? He's the original podcast, and I think under those circumstances, I once went inside the teacher's lins, but I remember being gooped. I remember being like what you were, and it was like being here.

I shouldn't be in here. Yeah, I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be up here. Yeah that's should I shouldn't be up here. Honestly, neither of us know what actually sounds like. I dare you? Yeah, that's good. How dare you? You stole my future? Anytime we do an impression, it gets like either it's either Kate or dumbled. Greta Thunberg has never has never drank a soda in her Oh my god, you think, yeah, it's like in an aluminum can, and you're right. She has never verset. She's never had

anything but water. Do you ever go to get a soda at the bodega like I can at the bodega and they give you a straw? Yes? I love that because I love drinking can. I don't actually know if there was like a city ordinance or something, but they started giving straws because they were finding like rat feces on I do remember the rat so they were like, we need to avoid that. So everyone gets a stronestly. I think it's part of the flavor. Yeah, a little spice.

I mean it's and it's a plastic straw. So it's kind of like, you know, bad for the environment. You know. How do you go into the teacher's lounge. I have never been in the teacher's lounge. I didn't want to. I was a bad girl. Okay, right, that's that to me. That's like, fuck you, I'm gonna go in there, yeah and take a dump. Did you go to the principal's office where you have? I have gone not to the principal's office, but the guidance counselor's office. Many times they

were like, we need the big guns. Yeah. I actually was reminded of this recently. One time I was called down to the office. I had no idea why, and I was like, maybe it's like first because I did a lot of theater in high school, like some theater thing. And I turned up and both my parents were sitting there. And that was a gag in and of itself because my parents were divorced and it was very contentious divorce.

So to have them both in the same place, I was my wig was gone, and it was like season finale, And it was because I had forged my mom's signature on some document. It was like it was like because I was doing bound in some class and it was a note that they sent home or or honestly might

have been like a permission slip or something. And truly it was because my mom was like, I don't have time to sign that, just like forge my signature, because in high school I had one of her credit cards and I just used to like forge her signature all the time and she was like, just do it. Um, And I don't know why I got into so much trouble about it. Also, it probably was like there was something else going on to but um, yeah, that was that. It was kind of the only time that I ever

really got reprimanded. I've only been sent to the principle's office once for saying ass but I didn't even say it in context. I was repeating, are you crying? Were you Like I was mortified. I hated being in trouble like that. Well, I was a good Christian girl, and so like there was really no realm of possibility where I would ever be sent to the principal's office. But my high school high school, my middle school bully Renee Rosky. Yes, I said her full name. We're going to find you.

I actually like I saw her at a hair salon like in sometime in adulthood, and she was very nice to me. Um but like I um, she she would swear all the time and we were arguing about swear words and I remember saying she said asked or whatever, and I was like, ass like, isn't even a bad word.

It means donkey or something like that. And then the woman, you know, the lunch lady, like you know, monitoring the there's always those lunch ladies, like literally the cops of the school a cab including she was like, what includes ladies and I went to them. I was like I had a few instances like that. We're then now looking back, I was like, oh, she hated fats that that had nothing to do with like she was just like disgusted. That was like, why are you sitting with the girls?

Get away from them? And I was what exclusively? So I was like, oh, no, I did something wrong. And then I like, I'll like have a dream about it and I'll be like, wait, that wasn't I wasn't bad. It was just homophobia, like she was kind of right, she looks kind of right. I shouldn't have been with those girls were bad. I mean the girls that I spent my lunches with were you know, um girls that

I thought were like my best friends. And only retrospectively, I'm like, oh, they didn't know them at all, and they didn't invite me to any of their birthday maybe actively excluded me, but they were like, oh, it's like girls all only you know. That was like, oh, sorry, it's girls only. Little did they know? Little did they know secrets I had. I had a group of of

girl friends in middle school. We were like one big click and then at the beginning of the next year of school, half of the group decided that they wanted the like kind of less cool, we're like the weirder girls like out of the group. And the way that they told us was that they went around in a circle and they each said one word of like their breakup text, which was like we don't want to hang out with you and me more wow wow, And it's a stage. And I feel like, I like, did they

dump you that way? Or I was dumped? No? Isn't not surprising that I wasn't one of the part that, um but yes and no, and one of them also slapped me really hard one All right, that's not because you know I was the only like you know boy in the group, and I think they thought they could get away with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I really wanted to be in with the smart girls. They were not No,

they weren't the nerds. They weren't like gross, but they had like you know, like they had their healthy lunches like packed, and like everything was organized and like, um, all their school supplies were like matching, you know, like I wanted THEO. I wanted to be friends with those girls, not the text girk covers. Yes they had yeah yeah yeah and binders, the ones that like cried when they got bees. I loved those girls. I wanted to be them.

But then they were like as soon as middle school happened and it was like puberty, they were like you what are you doing here? And I was like the whole time? Please, They were like no. Now they're all married to like marines. That is the apply. Yeah, their Facebook photos are them holding a gun? Where where were they? Yeah? Exactly? So called did you ever get inside the teacher's lounge.

I did. I broken. Yeah, it was on a weekend and me and my friends broke into the school and then we got into the teacher's lounge and it was like, don't meet your heroes. It was so disappointing. It was like the ugliest, oldest like couches and like it was just sad. It was like it was not what I

the lighting. It was like so bright fluorescent lighting. I imagine teacher's lounge like a warm, welcoming yeah yeah, yes, softly like yeah, like a womb a snack bar like yeah yeah yeah, like like food you couldn't you know, like menus Like I thought it would be more like a spa waiting area and it was. It was basically like here some leftover furniture from the health room and a lot of empty tupperware and a lot of empty tupperware, bad biting and diet coke and diet coke. You can

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