Dog dog log u gog, she's sheen. I'm me no ma, not my ny yo yo?
What is your child in Trada?
I am a cook, choky. What's going down before round? Welcome to Like a Virgin, the show where we give yesterday's pop culture today's takes. I'm Ra's domin, I'm Fran Torodo and Fran. If I see your goddamn elf bar, I'm going to piss all over your bed in our fire Island house. You should, I mean, look, we at Like a Virgin. And I did notice that you gave yourself the only king bed in the house.
Yeah, I gave myself the only king bed in the house, you betcha. I've been doing a lot of labor to earn that you have, and I think we are all in agreement there. You are welcome to share the king bed with me anytime you want, rose if you want to come cuddles, so.
Maybe i'll maybe I'll sneak in there for a little cuddle at some point.
I'm so well wait, I just have to say once again, we at Loretta LLC do not endorse elf bars.
They are nasty and disgusting.
I'm throwing this one away and replacing it with the three packs of camel crushes Rose will be bringing to fire ifolate. Well, apparently camel crushes have been like outlawed or something, which is great, but all can't buy them anymore. But I'm pretty sure I can hunt down a pack or two in at a bodega somewhere.
I'm pretty sure.
They've been outlawed for that for a similar reason that elf bars have been out lot, which is like you're not allowed to have flavored nicotine available in certain stores or places. I know that that was definitely specific to California, but it sounds like New York is on that is on that.
Well.
Also, something I've noticed is so since I moved back to New York, I've been buying weed from the smoke shops around me in Brooklyn because you know, like since decriminalization, like you just like that has been a thing. And last week, the week before before I went out of town, I went to to smoke shops near me to try to buy weed, and both of them didn't have it, And I'm like, oh, is like did something change?
Are they?
It's about going to a specific bodega. You have to know a specific guy, a specific specific deal a specific.
These were my specific places. They always had they always had weed, they had pre rolls, and now they don't. Well, no, they know they had everything. They had pre rolls, gummies, flower vabes, everything. That's kind of wow. So I guess I'm gonna have to go back to like my old delivery service, like drug dealers that I used to buy weed from, which feels so like vintage.
Can I be a snob real quick? In the world weed buying territory? I became a stoner in California. We were spoiled, rotten baby. The weed over there is phenom on.
A different level.
Yeah.
I literally came back to New York trying to ditch my weed habit, and New York made.
It so easy because the weed here is ship.
Compared to what I'm smoking in LA And that is like on one level, it's like all the dealers, all the places only have hybrids, and these hybrids are probably the crumbles left over from whatever they're doing.
They're making me feel groggy.
They're not giving any sort of lyft, they don't feel like anything special or different, Like it's just not the same.
So if anybody all this to say, if you are like a if you're like a boutique millennial weed business and you want to send us something, yes, stuff please do.
Or if you are flying from LA and visiting New York, you can please bring me. Oh please, I keep forgetting that that I want to ask people coming in from LA to do that.
Actually, Laala is coming back here later this month. Oh ask her to bring me some week. I make myself a little mental notation that I'll absolutely forget because we know that I have the memory of a calender, Goleander.
That's really funny, you know what I do remember, even though it's now been a week since it came out, was the most recent episode to us of and just like that Virgins, I know that you're listening to this on a Thursday and a new episode has already come out, So this is very much old news at this point.
But this is just how our release schedule works. And since our Patreon episode this week was the recording of our live show, which you should definitely go listen to patreon dot com slash like a Virgin, we thought that we would move that and just like that discussion to the main show just for this week and talk about what we're thinking of the season so far, so I don't know how you felt, but this third episode, I
thought it was fun. I thought like after the second and third episode, I think were somewhat of a return to form, ish of giving us a little bit more sex and the City vibes. And also something that I appreciated is a return to form of Carrie Bradshaw being a horrible, annoying person.
Yes, we love this, this is why we watch. I think we forget that, this is why we watch sometimes.
And I honestly feel like, just as we said before, like this season, especially like the kind of first moments of the first episode of season two, but also just throughout, they're definitely putting sex back into the city and I appreciate that, which is why in episode three, this very prolonged, belabored plotline about Carrie being able to read the chapter of her memoir where Big dies is like, once again, like I don't want to watch this, Sorry, I don't,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I appreciate the writers of the show. I appreciate what they're bringing to the show, which is a story that is not really relevant to me, and that's fine, and I'm sure this will be very impactful for people who have had lovers and family members who.
Have died.
That said, Wow, you are heartless.
It's just not fun. It's so unfun.
And it's the same reason why the other three cast members of the show, Seema, LTW and Nya Nya Nya, who I fucking hates annoying.
She's annoying, she's so boring. Get her off the show. I'm not watching that.
LTW is also extremely ancillary, Like she's fabulous, and Seema is also fabulous, But when they are cogs in the machine of the plot and they are like supporting the other girls plot lines, like I am legitimately interested in that. And I feel like it's almost problematic of me to say that because these are the only characters of color that are in support of the very white cast members of the show.
But that's the original show.
Divas, Like, stop trying to spoon feed of something that quite frankly, the writers don't are not qualified to write on a lot of the time, Like it doesn't feel like any sort of lived in experience for the average sex and the city viewer. And I am not hearing from any people who are along these kind of backgrounds and Margins of these three characters that feel seen in any way you know what I mean?
Yeah, I do know what you mean, and like, excuse me for voicing this, but I don't really care about that stuff. I care about the show being entertaining to the show, the show being the show and it and I disagree with you about the Carrie's grief plotline. I actually thought that was pretty well done, and I mean incredible acting from Sarah Jessca Parker was always like, knocks
it out of the ballpark on that. But I liked that stuff as a vehicle to get us to something that I've really been missing for a man, just like that, which is Carrie being a shitty person. And this is such a byproduct of this thing that has been talked about, notably by Kennie Bushnell who wrote the original column that the original show is based on, which is that the Venn diagram of the characters and the actresses has become a circle. And you can see this so much, especially
with Cynthia Nixon and Sarah Jessica Parker. And I think with like with Cynthia Nixon, obviously, it's like about her journey with her sexuality and her Queerness and with Sarah Jessica Parker, it is really about sanitizing Carrie Bradshaw and making her a much more toothless and less edgy character, because Carrie was always a mess who made really bad decisions, and so much of that has been sanded away to make her a nicer person, which is not why I
watch the show. I want imperfect Carrie who made bad decisions and smoked cigarettes. And so this episode where she lies about having COVID to get out of doing a professional thing and also then to get out of social engagements, which relatable. I loved that because it felt like a
return was exactly Carrie would do. It was exactly something Carrie would do, Yes, and I and and then it led to her like her going shopping and buying all those shoes, like it did I cut a glimpse of the Carrie we know and love, and then you know, it was just like, those moments are so brief, But that's what keeps me watching, and I'm sure that's what keeps a lot of people watching because as a whole, and you know, I said last week, I'm trying to
be positive and like blah blah blah, But as a whole. I just don't know what this show is because it's not Sex and the City and I hate the City. It's because it's learning how to edge into our fifties in the city. I hate to always be referencing every outfit, but like I do love them and they cover the show really well. And something they've been saying a lot recently is that, especially with all of the kid plot lines, and just like that is really feeling like a rated Our Modern Family, And.
Unfortunately that's very true.
Yeah, and I wish the kids were just not part of it, you know, I.
You know, Hm, Modern Family is like really insulting. I'm not gonna lie, but I that's like really really like dirty. That's a dirty word.
But it's a pretty act read it is.
And I will say really quickly, I wish there was another comparison, But like, I actually don't mind a rated Our Modern Family if the other three characters weren't so distracting at times. And I also wouldn't mind it if there was just more r The sex is not the forefront. The fun and the Shenanigans and the hygiens is not on the forefront as much, which.
Is why when we get it. It feels so delicious.
I think that there's something really interesting and funny and stupid about Chadeas and Miranda's kind of like, I think, very realistic codependency, like when you first become queer and you have your first like boyfriend girlfriend they friend like ooh, mama, you attach and it's unhealthy, and like I think that they're you know, there's a lot in that that I'm actually like warming up to and see as like a viable plot for the show, especially in comparison to the
really boring plots. It's just like there's so much time taken away from our three girls to support three independent plot lines that are so not the show, not because the plot isn't but from the show, not because the characters aren't for the show, but because they're not about Charlotte, Miranda, and Carrie.
And they're certainly not about Charlotte, who again is the most disrespected character on the show. And I'm like making her lust after a teenager is just so bizarre, but not even in a way where it's like actually transgressive. I'm I'm just like so continuously upset by the by making Charlotte so small when she is one of the few people from the original series.
I will concede that if Charlotte follows through on lust for or for this, like, is it a college student, No.
He's a high schooler, way seventeen. No, school with our daughter. Yeah.
No, I thought it was like prep you will block that.
No.
I thought it was like prep school. Okay, prep school is high school?
My god.
I thought like in prep school that they integrate with like freshman or something. Whoa No, oh my god. Well, okay, so that's really wrong. But also here's the thing. No, no, but here's the thing though, it's so wrong that it's right for me because Sex and the City and I'm not endorsing pedophilia, but Sex and the.
City has always been wrong.
They love to go in the direction where it's like this is a bad, bad and you know it and I know it, and we're gonna do it anyways.
Like that to me is still Sex and the City. That's like funny and stupid.
It's just kind of humiliating for Charlotte because it doesn't need to be high schooler what. Yeah, And it's and it's also so out of step with everything that's going on in the rest of the show like you're gonna give me Cha Pasa and all this fucking representation matters, all this representation mattershit and then have Charlotte lusting over a seventeen year old Like it's so that's what I mean when I say, like I don't get what this
show is. Well to bring it to Shay to Chay, to Shay to Shade all shake ula.
Shake cool ideas.
I really feel like now in season two, Chay has kind of earned their spot as a bad partner, right, Like there is always a kind of series regular, like a kind of boyfriend or girlfriend that will like go into the show for like three, four or five episodes and then come out when it's dysfunctional. For me, Chay
has now been in too many episodes. But you know, if Chay just started to be in this season, I would I will happily allow and want to see how this is seen out And I am excited for whatever happens between them because it does feel interesting and real and something that actually feels true to the show.
I don't know that I agree that Chay is a bad partner. Well, I think the show. I think the show wants us to think that Chay is asking these like really ridiculous things of Miranda.
But I don't know that I agree.
Well, I don't think that Chay is asking Miranda for some ridiculous things. I just think that Chay is very clearly a player, and that in these in this moment where they're now starting to have an actual relationship with Miranda and learn how to have real intimacy in their life, in their life and lives, they're not really in their.
Lives and they're live. They're alive, honey.
It really feels like Chay is like has earned their spot. It's just like they're not compatible at all. Like Miranda's needs and Chay's needs are not compatible periods. So I don't see a future where they can work out, which is why I'm excited to see how it all goes
to shit. I don't really love what I'm finding to be genuine empathy for Chadas as a character, which feels really hamphested and probably a product of sata Amira's involvement, if I'm going to be honest, because the character was not really well received in season one, and so now they're trying to make this character more human and likable, which is not working.
On me.
Sorry, it's warning that they're there. I'm happy that it's it's better than the other three. Are you and I as a podcast going to watch the Flash so we can talk about it starring as.
No, I was not planning. I was not planning.
Do you have any desire to watch it just to discuss just for the sake of discussing it, because.
Apparently I suppose, I suppose good or.
Something, and I think it's specifically something that you and I would want to critique just because of the Azra Miller of it all.
But I don't know. Yeah, yeah, I'm willing to see it so that we can talk about it. I don't know if it's worth the discussion, because what I've heard is either people saying it's amazing, which feels like they were paid to say that, or people saying it's suck. It's like sucked to mid and that's kind of It was also a huge box office flop, Oh it was. That's kind of depressing, yes, but also it.
Was like it was the I think it made the least money of any DC movie.
Okay, actually rejected, that's not depressing. I hope like DC learns from this. Tyra voice learn from this anyways.
I will consider seeing it.
Speaking of things that aren't really worth discussion, you told me that you are maybe going to watch The Bear.
Yeah, I don't.
I don't have any particular reason why I haven't watched it besides just that like that when the first season came out, like the premise was not super compelling to me, so I just never watched it. But now as I'm hearing more and more people talk about it, I and you know, I love Io and that guy from Girls.
The guy from Girls is so my no spoiler, so I've watched almost all of the second season. Now my no spoiler kind of pitch to you is that the guy from Girls, whatever his name is, is amazing and gets this narrative arc that could only be built over the course of two full seasons to get you to a place with this character where you finally understand what they're all about. It's so beautiful and such good TV.
Writing this show as a whole. The reason I said it's like not really worth discussion discussing sometimes is because the show is it's just like a good show, like and sometimes the show that's like just good is like not really interesting to talk about, especially when it's like pretty much only about like heterosexual people in it in an industry that we have nothing to do with.
But I could use the show that just like is good that I can just kind of speed my way through.
I'm like, I am currently in the middle of.
Of binging a series. I'm in the middle of a rewatch. I am rewatching queer as Folk the original.
Whoa wait, we need to do a Queers Folk episode because I would love to rewatch that too.
I would. I mean, I've never seen it. I've never seen it. You've never seen it.
Watch.
Yes, I've seen the first two episodes. Okay, so we'll make that a project. You're gonna watch Queers Folks. I'm rewatching it. I'm also finally going to watch the lay same. I'm watching this to say all this to say, I do want something like The Bear that I feel like will be a quick watch. I it is a pretty quick I have some I have.
Some free time this summer, you know, I need something to do.
The show is amazing. I do not recommend a passive watch, like don't look at your phone. It's like a really rewarding, intentional watch.
IO is amazing.
You're saying that I am.
I am, I mean, I really am. I'm projected.
Are you practicing what you preach?
Those No, I'm projecting. IO is amazing. Jeremy ellen White is so fine. He okay, wait, we need to bring back our oscars. But what did we call it?
Suck on? He doesn't really do it for me? The low dometer? Yeah, how many low? That's what we call it, not suck suckometer. The the load ometer can can some like enterprising virgin like create likemeter, like a micro site with a load ometer or something like, you know, like that.
Would be so fun. That would be we would absolutely post about that. You know, the loadometer is a very strong for me. And I shook that you're not into it, considering that he is pretty much a kind of he is just kind of the poor man's Aaron Taylor Johnson. Yeah, working class Aaron Taylor Johnson.
I'm not into it.
But speaking of loads, though, you know whose load I need Harrison Ford's because I saw the new Indiana Jones movie yesterday and he's years old, by the way, Yeah, and I and I want to suck him dry until he's the crypt keeper.
Yes, I saw until he's the dried up Mummy at the end of Temple of Doom.
Yeah.
So here's the thing.
I don't really get that reference because I don't actually know India Jones that well. Like I definitely am like Haunted by the Snakes from childhood, but I have never rewatched the movies as an adult, and I've probably only seen one or two of them. I think I should watch Raiders of the Lost Arc again. Maybe I'll do that this week. That actually might be a good movie to watch on Fire Island if it gets rainy at some point. So, you know, but I think I was.
I felt fine going into this movie with very little context because it's like Indiana Jones. He like has a whip and doesn't like snakes and like likes adventures. Yeah, that was all I needed to know. And then in the first twenty minutes of the movie, it takes place in like the original timeline of the series, like World War two, and they see gi him to look young and it's so effective. What and I needed his cock and balls. I believe that.
I believe they did that for the last Ndiana Jones too, if I'm not mistaken. This kind of cgi flashback, but I don't really remember watching that movie, if I'm completely honest.
But in this one it looks like it looks real.
And I'm sure, I'm sure that's really helped by the fact that like technology has progressed. And also we have so much footage of young Harrison Ford, so it probably made it easier. But he was so hot, and then also he was hot when he was older too. When they flash forward to his like current self, he the first scene he's in, he shirtless, and I would lick that white, gnarly hair off his chest. Well, on the lodometer, who's scoring higher? Old Indiana Jones Are.
Young Indiana Jones? Yeng okay, I thought so, but you can always surprise me.
Yeah, he's got He's got a nice like eight loads on the lotometer. I don't actually know the metrics of how the lowdometer works.
We're going to figure it out, but that's not for us to figure out. That's not our job. I think it works. I think it works as needed. I haven't used the AMC Stubs rewards membership in a while, so Indiana Jones is exactly a movie I don't want to pay for and therefore will be We'll go and see it.
But you you definitely should. I also, I hate to tell you this, but I have a new film membership service that is not AMC stubs, and it's not movie right, you're not getting no. I I joined the Alamo Draft House. That's good thing because I live so close to the Alamo downtown Brooklyn, and because of that, I have seen The Little Mermaid four times in theaters work Diva. That's so many times. Rose.
We have so many times Rose. This episode very easily. I feel like we say this all the time, but this time like we mean it, mean it. This is like a virgin hall of fame for us.
Yes, so this has been a long time coming. It's been a long time. On the Lonometer, we are finally talking about Lady.
Gaga, which is why today's episode is probably extra long. So you're gonna enjoy it. Okay, you're gonna send through it. And it is that long on purpose.
That's another sense. I am beyond repentense. Fame, hooker, prostitute wench vomits our mind. But in the cultural sense, I just speak in future tense, Judius. If me as a fence to wear ear condom next time, what I want to love you. Okay, what is it? Well, it's you way from Jesus is my verse, and Judas is the demon.
A clear.
I cling to you.
Speaking those lyrics out loud is such a disorienting word, salad, and I have to say here and now today in our Gaga episode, it is an episode about first and foremost slant rhymes. And this woman will stretch anything into a rhyme if she needs to, and more often than not, it's giving rhyme zone dot com.
You know what I mean. Yes, it's giving rhyme zone. It's giving she only knows a certain amount of words and it's not willing to learn anymore.
Well, I did tell you that when wait you saw CHROMATICA two write the CHROMATICA ball, I did not see the chromatical Okay, I did in our in my CHROMATICA Ball recap, I did tell you that when Gaga does her like intermittent like speaking moments, that she is giving talk to text prediction.
Well, yeah, I mean I think her brain is chat GPT.
Yeah, yeah, I think with the cocktail that she's on.
I remember vividly where I was the first time I watched the Just Dance music video, which was my introduction to Stephanie Germanada. And so it was when I was a nanny for Do you know that I used to be a nanny for Judy Gold. Have I talked about this.
Yes, we have or not on the podcast now, But I didn't. I didn't know that, and I remember you telling me.
So famed Jewish lesbian comedian Judy Gold is the reason. Well, no, she's not the reason why I was going to be played a part in the story because she and her ex wife lived in the same building. They had different apartments in the same building. And one day, this is very lesbian, one day the kids were in one apartment and I really needed to get away from them, so I went to the other apartment and and watched Just Dance on my computer. And it was the first time
I had ever heard of this woman, Lady Gaga. Oh wow, And you were doing it, ditching work, ditching work, leaving children and endangering them. So I think that really makes sense.
I honestly, when you had started talking about Judy Gold and you were like she, and I thought you were gonna say Judy Gold discovered me, and I was like work in a way, maybe the same way that Lady Starlight discovered Lady Gaga.
Maybe wait, is that is that is Lady Starlight the who's the one? Who's the girl? Oh? No, Lady Lady morganas Lena Morgana.
Lena Morgana and Lady Starlight are two different mythological figures in the history the historic retelling of Gaga's story.
Well there, they're both real people. But one of them's dead.
Well that I mean Lena Morgana remains to be seen. We have not seen the remains. No, Lena Morgana is confirmed dead. She fell off a roof. So Lena Morgana is this? I can't believe this is how we're starting, No talk about this is a perfect way to start Lena Moore from the beginning, Lena Morgana was in the same circle as Gaga when Gaga was starting out in her career. You know the story she always tells about how she used to drag her ass over to the
Bitter End with her keyboard to perform. Lena Morgana was doing the same kind of thing as her. But from all the accounts we have, Lena Morgana was the one who was doing the cuckoo crazy costumes and stuff. But she died falling off a roof and according to some people, Gaga then sort of appropriated her esthetic and became the figure we now know and maybe kilter and maybe kilter. I'm I don't know if I actually have heard the full tea that is kind of gaggy, but she did.
She definitely one killed her. There is like, there's no I don't know, there's no really, there's a really iconic I mean yeah, actually a lot of people on drugs fall off roofs all the time. There's a really iconic Ayisha erotica song about Lena Morgana that I do want to play just a little bit of She murdered her Drest in peace to Nina Morgana. Go to hell if
you did anything Gaga. All right, all right, all right, all right, no, no, no way, you have to let just listen to the end of the course of course I do it. I don't know Lena Morgana had to go. My name is Ganga? Incredible? Okay, Well, so.
What was you?
What was your like entree into the world of Gaga?
My entree I was in my kind of maybe junior senior year of high school. I was dating my very first boyfriend discovering that I'm into homosexuals.
And not men, just homosexuals kind of yeah, okay, not gonna lie.
Unfortunately, that's somewhat somewhat true. Anyways, it's probably better than being into straight men. I'm gonna oh yeah, I actually am famously like kind of deterred and turned off by straight dudes like a I can admire a straight guy the way I could admire like a statue.
You don't at a museum.
You don't like porn where they're both straight men, No, like, no, if I I only I am only into that, as I've discussed in our porn episode. If it's like a little if there's some power play Phoebe, Yeah no.
Not that that actually is not the narrative, but but but you know, if there's consent between both parties and they both are into power play. Anyways, I'm going back to the story. Okay, I love the Rabbit Trail. Though I was dating this guy who was had been out longer than me. I had just come out, and he was like.
I would. I'm not gonna say he's like he was like out and proud, but everybody knew that he was gay. He was making jokes about being gay.
I like it was he was the school fag. He wasn't the school fag. He were No, he was in a a toxic love quadrangle, gay love quadrangle that I became enveloped in when I came out and the four the four gays, who about right, and yes, yeah it is. Literally I was just a little life, but like seventeen year olds, seventeen year old gays being a littler life, tiny life, a very small life, and okay, and.
It was in this toxic love quadrangle. None of this I now, I'm just thinking of like a children's show called a Littler Life. It's like The Stranger Things Kids.
It's like still really traumatic and they're all like dying and like being sexually abusing. No, oh my god, it's like the Babies drama, Anya would Okay, Okay, so none of this information is relevant to the story, by the way, love quadrangle. Anyways, he was more out and proud like than me. And I'm just like at the I was, as we all know on the show, living in a
cultural vacuum and not really in with the kids. I was being like, hello, my fellow kids, kind of but with actual my fellow kids and not being able to, you know, tap into them. But you were wearing a pants, yes, yes, And I remember being at a cast party and we know the girls popped off at the cast party for what show. I don't remember if Christy Dunlinger was there. I'm gonna guess it was maybe The Hobbit or maybe the Hobbit. Maybe the Hobbit.
Oh my god, so Lord of the Rings was part of your Gaga Awakens.
Maybe when we were at a cast party and someone turned on poker Face, and I don't think it was the first time I'd ever heard poker Face, but it was definitely the first time ikes burienced poker Face. And I remember my boyfriend knowing every single lyric and then becoming something of the center of a dance circle moment. I know he was white, by the way, and he was probably wearing he was probably wearing blue plaid American apparel shorts and a polo and like like leather slides, nothing more.
Like canvas thong flip flops is what I was giving.
And he knew every single word and he was so confident he was dancing exactly to poker Vace and he was so embodied and so like into thought something.
Well, yeah, exactly, you thought he was doing something I did.
I did truly because like I didn't, I never experienced Gaga phantom.
I didn't really know who Gaga was. I wasn't.
It was all out there, and I think the way he channeled it and like the kind of self possession. In that very moment, I was just like, oh, like this woman is like and everyone was so buzzing. I was like, what's going on?
And that was that Phoebe's losing her mind? Maybecause okay, Phoebe was saying before we started recording, Phoebe was saying, like, this is like Gaga is a religion, and this is a great little transfertion like a religion, like a true like cult. Yes, when I discovered Gaga, I became indoctrinated so quickly. And I mean the early days of her career, pre Bad Romance, which is the thing that really broke her out and made her into the cultural juggernaut that she had become.
I was.
Obsessed, like I consumed every possible thing I could about her. It was the first time in my life that I latched onto a diva in that way. I had never experienced that before, And I do think the main reason, besides the the fact that I was a gay weirdo, is because I was a theater kid. And Gaga is the patron saint of weird theater kid.
She is perhaps the most famous theater kid, the most power the world's most powerful theater kid. That yeah, I mean, who else I could only think of, like Kate Bush, it's Gaga.
Gaga is a theater faggot. Well, I mean then Timore. Were we talking about this recently? Is that when you peel back the layers on a lot of famous people, you discovered there just theater kid.
Yeah, not know.
But the thing about Gaga is that she is like thea ta. She is giving what did you do to die today? She is giving a nunciation like the way that Gaga will put some diction on a song is showing off the fact that.
She didn't go to Juilliard. Right, No, she went to n Yu famously, right she I remember.
I think I remember a story that she almost went to Juilliard and then decided to just you know, try and make it in the street.
Maybe she said that. I don't know if she got into Juilliard, but I don't remember a lot of people almost went to Juliard.
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, but I don't know. But she yeah, she's giving theater. She's giving theater.
Kid.
Yes, That's what I loved about her from the beginning was that, you know, it was this whole she was bringing taking pop music back to art. I mean, as she would you know, later do very explicitly on art pop. But in the beginning that first, I mean I played the Fame to death. But then when the Fame Monster came out, that's what radicalized me. Like I was, I was into it before, and then the Fame Monster that's when I became a convert. That's when I became a supplicant at the altar.
Can you describe the what was added on with the Fame Monster. Well, the Fame Monster is is like an EP that she released that has oh it was an EP and then they just mushed them together. Yes, but yes, it's like retroactively they've been combined into one album. But the Fame Monster was specifically that album where she was where it had the Blonde Bob, it has bad romance telephone Alejandro like, and that is what really broke her
out into the mainstream like Bad Romance. Like before that, she was still a big pop cultural figure, but in the way of like he he isn't she weird? And then bad Romance is what it was her like global domination. Yes, bad Romance was, and I think it has a lot to do with her visual language and world that was truly like first of its kind in a lot of ways. A lot of people can can try and say, who
did Gaga before Gaga? But I really do feel like Gaga is like a once in a generation, once in a life time point of view, and I think that bat Romance was that thing where it's like truly anointed, like we need to now make you the most powerful pop star in the world, and she.
Was, yeah, and you know she is. I think one of the last pop stars who really put that much effort into her visuals, into music videos specifically, because you think about the early years of Gaga, all of her huge songs are inextricably linked to either a really iconic music video or a really iconic live performance or both, like with Paparazzi that video was iconic, and also the live performance of the VMA's like one of the great live performances, possibly the greatest, No, maybe only edged out
by like Whitney Houston singing the Star Spangle banner or Lady Gaga doing her Sound of Music suite at the Oscar. I really love Beyonce's cochella performance. We don't need to do that, We don't need to do that. Well, we're not.
The girls are not fighting today. Yeah, the girls are not fighting. And also they have nothing to do with each other, honestly, Like, That's what I'm saying is like Gaga was truly in her own lane, and at the time Katy Perry was still was like edging in right and like and right like in terms of like pop music at the time.
And then well and very much like pitted against each other, like like applause versus roar, oh God moment in the stand War Wait describe that. Well, they came out around the same time, and they were kind of publicly battling on Twitter. This and the better these are in the days back when the girls used to fight on Twitter? Right, Well, which was better? Roar applause? Applause is better? Applause is a better song?
It is? It is.
I just I don't think I thought you would surprise me. But yet Applause should not have been the lead single off of Art Pop because because it's not, I don't think it's a good representation of what that album is. I think if Guy had been the lead single off of Art Pop, art Pop would have handed out very differently. What's your favorite Gaga album? Obviously? Oh no, not obviously, it's Born this Way? Yes, that is the correct answer. Oh wow, I thought you were gonna say The Fame
Well or The Fame Monster or whatever. The Fame I mean, it's the correct answer that Born this Way is your favorite album, and I do think it's her best. It is her best album. I really the Fame Monster. Yeah, and I agree, The Fame Monster is a very close to number two for me, and on some days it
edges Born this Way out. But I do believe that Born this Way is the most cohesive artistic product she's ever made, and somewhat to her detriment, because I do think that she was riding such a high off of her breakout success that she made Born this Way and did not really think about how it would be received, and she leaned really hard into being kooky weirdo and that worked out incredibly in terms of the creative output, but it did somewhat I think alienate the people who
had latched onto her from Bad Romance. Interesting, and then when art pop came out, that allowed those people who had kind of moved to the fringes to then like kind of fully check out.
Interesting. I've actually never heard it described that way, but it does make perfect sense. I honestly, you're such a traditionalist. I assumed you were going to say The Fame was your favorite album.
Yeah.
The thing about ar Pup and Joanne, which were like her flop albums following flop quote unquote flop in quotations, I would never call them that, but like albums that came after Born this way, part of me almost feels like those albums were also like Gaga wasn't thinking about the audience to her detriment, you know, Like it doesn't neither of those albums like who were those albums? For a lot of art Pup is kind of amazing, and I think a lot of arpup actually is tried and true.
O g Gaga, I'm a fucking weirdo, which is kind of why I like it, But they do both those albums didn't really feel like they were for her fans, and so I was like, they must be for you.
I mean, the big problem with art pop was it's release. I'm like, I don't want to rehash or relitigate it. I actually wrote a story for Paper magazine a couple of years ago called in Defense of art Pops. So if you want a more articulate, like comprehensive breakdown of why art pop actually is an incredible album and actually was very commercially successful, then you can go read that. But art pop is one of my favorites. Actually, I guess we can do our Gaga album ranking or I'll
do the official like a Virgin Gaga album rank. I know, but I want I want your input, Okay, okay, okay. So we're saying number one is born this way? Okay, Yes, number two the fame Monster, Yes, number three, yes art pop mmm mmm okay. What would be number four? The fame?
Oh really, I disagree. I think the fame should go above art pop, don't you think. I'm well, I'm okay with that, and I'm I'm willing to move it there. My brain would also put chromatica over art pop because of the cohesion and because of the number of songs I returned to versus the number of songs I returned to on our pop. But I actually do see the argument for our pop to be something that's stylistically more out there.
I do think art pop and the Fame are not interchangeable, but they're very close, interesting, and I think they kind of It kind of depends on the gaga you're going for. Yeah, it does, and it can kind of shift from day to day. But so after those, then it would be chromatica Adica. Then Cheek to Cheek Cheek to Cheek, which is definitely better then the Star Is Born soundtrack. Oh we're counting that, yeah, because she did produce things, so she did it all. Sure, Yeah, and then Joanne dead Last.
I actually is the Stars Born No, no, no, chee chek is better than Starsborne soundtrack?
One hundred percent. Wow, that is I signed off, signed, co sign done. Yesh. I'm so happy that we agree able to agree. Well, there's a little discreption, but like we we agree. Okay, Well, do you want to talk about favorite songs now? Should should we do favorite songs next?
Or should we do a top Okay, well, do you have like a top five Gaga songs, Top ten Gaga song I have top ten.
They're not in order, but these are just my top ten and I can say I can say which one is, like jokingly my favorite, and then which one is legitimately my favorite, and.
Maybe give us like a not a not I know you're not giving a ranking, but like there's a few at the top. Yeah, I want to hear the ones at the top. Okay, so legitimately my favorite. Lady got song all the time, and this is not like the joke. One that I say, which still is on the list is Dance in the Dark.
Oh oh, okay okay. And then the one that I kind of jokingly say is my favorite is a nothing else. I can say nothing, but it still slaps. And I love the music video where she's on the Vespa. It's like iconic Gaga with the hairbo It's like the most Italian X she's ever been.
It is I will say my top two as we bop around, I will I would definitely say you and I is probably I'm pretty gosh darn sure.
My favorite or second favorite. Muscle cars drove a truck right through.
My heart and I really need you to hold space for my other answer, for my other number one favorite, because.
You know I'm not gonna be happy about it.
Okay, my other favorite, which I would say easily can be in the number one spot and I don't. And when I say this, I don't think it's Lady Gaga's best song, Like critically, it is a song that means more to me than the rest of her discographield and it is stupid love.
Oh my god, the face rend was just made like I told her, like I was coming out to her as, oh my god, you're having Oh my god, I'm so sorry. She looks pained. Oh god, I'm not. I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed that I don't know I actually write. Yes, I can't describe it. I really don't.
And let me tell you. I decided this like like within a few weeks of the song coming out. But then I was like, you know, this is kind of a crazy album. Maybe it won't really stick you put I put it on like black, like just a few days ago, and I was like, oh my got like full body like and it just it brings me to a specific point in.
Time, the pandemic. Yes it does.
I was living alone, I had literally no joy, no friends in my life. I had nothing to do and you missed that? Yes, no, and then no, it's like and stupid love? Was this this like bright light from Heaven? That just like a complete dopamine boost. And I know it's like not like structurally her best song whatever, it is one hundred percent my favorite song next to you and I.
Okay, all right, well I thank you really did hold space for that. Thank you? Thank you so the rest of my top ten yes, yes, speechless. Also on my top ten Summer Boy. Hmmm, I clicked into Summer Boy because of you. I feel a lahah and you and I okay, Papa Razzi, Oh you're reading these like nominations that an awards.
Yeah.
Fashion of His Love also a very slept on song. We have really queened out together while listening.
To I will say Fashion of His Love is definitely maybe my number two number three spot.
Venus Venus and Marry the Night, Marry the Night? Is Mary the Night? On my top?
Is it?
The others on my top are telephone, government hooker for sure, my god, government hooker is no on my list.
You can't no take backs, no takesies, bacsies, no takes these baxies Roses shook.
Okay, Judas It's number eleven is Judas on yours? Did you say that Judas is Judas is definitely on my top fashion? Fashion?
I'm i wanna say and again, not because I think it's like one of Gaga's best songs. I'm saying my fate went top ten favor writ Gaga song.
You know she has two songs called fashion. What Yeah, there's a song that is was like a a bonus track on the Fame or maybe but it was used in It's actually in an episode of Ugly Betty. It's the episode Bad Amanda where they're where Betty and Amanda are doing this the like digital story where they're trying to like do stuff without spending money. Oh, I love that episode. There's a Gaga song called fashion that goes fashion put it all on May. Don't you want to
see these clothes on Spotify? Or is it like one of those Erasis songs. It might not be on Spotify. I actually think it's only on YouTube. What yeah?
Wait?
What where if there is there are there Gaga like unrecorded songs? Yeah, like there's lots of them. Wait, can you give me a little. Do you know it more about that? I actually don't. I mean Brooklyn Knights is the most famous one. I mean just Disco Heaven, Oh my god, I've never heard what Disco Heaven is like a B side. It is on the Fame Monster proper
and I love Disco Heaven. Yeah, there's a there's a bunch of She doesn't have like as much unreleased music assay Lona del Ray, but there there's a bit of it out there.
Okay, wow, I mean I have heard Christmas Tree well that is oh wait, that is on Spotify. Yeah, unfortunately, are you finished with your I think Mary the Night is also my top I don't know. I think that's nine total, but that's all I have.
What's your favorite music video?
Hmmm, yeah, it's Telephone. It's Telephone. I'm trying to guess yours.
Is it?
I actually don't know. It's a Lejandro.
Oh, I was gonna because there's a Judas music video, right, and I like I was thinking maybe Judas.
I knew it was going to be from like Fameer Fame Monster. It's Alejandro. I think that is the hottest she's ever looked. It's also the skinniest she's ever been problematic in my part, but I love when she's like riding the models. It's so sexy. I also met her the day.
After the Alejandro video came out, Right, you've told this story on the pod had a bar. Yeah, so it is special, but it is the Gaga era, an aesthetic that I just connect with the most. So Phoebe wants to know, like when we felt the most connected to Gaga.
So I Gaga came out when I was a Gaga like came on the scene when I was a sophomore in college, and then my junior year of college, I went back to Florida for like six months because of like family stuff, and during that time, I felt so disconnected from my friends and from New York City, and I was like, oh my god, I'm back in this life that I never wanted to be back in. And Gaga like got me through that in a very real way.
Like I was always watching YouTube videos of her in concert, like listening to her music constantly, like wearing crazy like inspired looks and.
Did you did you ever wear like pleasers or something? I've worn pleasers before, but no, I mean in your Gaga area. No, no, no, this was no, this was pre like any kind of like gender fuckery at all.
Okay, how did you how did you give Gaga without gender? It was like when she was wearing a lot of biker jackets and like denims, you know Born this Way. Yeah, so that's Joe Calrone, Joe calderone. Yes. And then when I moved back to New York was right around the time when Born this Way came out, and so it was like, oh, these things are converging. And I was living on the Lower East Side where she used to hang out all the time, so I felt so connected to her.
I feel I definitely I was living in Chicago at the time. If I'm thinking about like my most connected Gaga moment, I was living in Chicago. I was interning somewhere in the city, or maybe I was still going to school there. I'm not exactly sure, but I just remember Born this Way coming out and and me on first listen getting some of the songs and not getting
all of it, and then going on runs. I used to like run every day, and going to runs, and then by listening to the album all the way through over and over again, I was like, oh my god, I get it.
I get it. I get it. I think that there's something about her story and the kind of her story that she's like a rich kid from the Upper West Side? Is she yeah, Yeah, she's rich. I guess yeah.
And I feel I feel like for me, like the story and the thing that has always through all my throughout my life connected me to Gaga over and over again is the way she started at dive bars, like performing for nobody, like for twenty dollars or whatever, on bad microphones, wearing crazy shit. And this quote wherein she says something to the effect of, like, you know, before I was famous, I would walk into any bar, any
post office, any restaurant and pretend like I was. I would carry myself like a fucking star are until everyone else caught up to that. And I so viscerally latched onto that mentality. And I don't think I ever, you know, lived and breathed that then, but I do.
I am kind of like that now you are, well, I feel similarly like that is the I latched onto that, But I think I latched onto a different version of that. The thing that I've always seen about seeing of myself in her is her naked, try hard ambition. Yes, like, yes, is so relatable.
She is so.
She is so hungry, she cares and she is clearly yes, she cares so much, and she is clearly someone who was deeply uncool at one point in her life and faked it until people thought she was cool. But she's still fucking nerds. She's a musical theater kid. Yeah, yeah, she is and musical.
That's honestly, like tryhard and theater kid are synonyms, like they are like actually, like to be a theater kid is. To be a tryhard is to care way too much about something that has virtually no stakes. Gaga obviously has really has stakes.
But yeah, that is another reason why the theater kid thing is actually really not a joke, like she is that Yeah, just look at the whole A star is born erab She wasn't just being an actress. She was performing an actress in a big Hollywood oscar bait movie. She what, and the same way that when Joker comes out, she will be performing a newer version of that. She is always I mean, not as much these days, just
because she's like she's fucking tired. I guess at this point she's puts used to put so much effort into the behind the scenes of fame, because you know, the beginning of her career was about cause playing being famous. That's literally like the point of the fame she walks in I'm a motherfucking star. Yeah, and that performance has you know, either expanded or contracted or whatever throughout her career.
And now I'm just I mean, this is it's so hard for me to talk about God without with thinking about where she is now, where she's like laying down on her couch doing spawn for her makeup line and for pharmaceutical brands and the nerd tech and I mean for years, I've been in this place with Gaga. And you know, this is why I butt heads with other little monsters and why I really don't consider myself part of that because I no, I am a little just
not a part of the community. Yeah, well, littler monster, I'm a big month her because I have never felt about Gaga that being a fan of her means being uncritical of her. And that's the problem I have with a lot of little monsters and also with stand culture in general. Is is the idea that loving someone means that you accept and celebrate everything that that person does, even when it's bad or lackluster or offensive or whatever. With Gaga, it's like I love her so much that
I hold her to the standard that she set. And unfortunately, because of so many things, because of the hip of it all, and like you know, the chronic pain and all, and like the relationships and you know, changing managers and like all the stuff that she's been through. She just is a very different artist than she used to be. But I still hold her to that standard that she set, and I don't think that's wrong to do.
I remember seeing Gaga, I mean, first of all, to everything you said, like I do feel like digesting Gaga now is It's just it's all she's doing.
Is giving us memes.
Like she's giving us great memes and great things to joke about on Twitter. It's like Chromatica felt like such a relief because there was legitimate art to celebrate in that moment after a long kind of dry point, you know what I mean.
I felt like Chromatica or for me, stupid Love specifically, was this.
Like finally we get a Gaga song that I can like bop to again, because I didn't really love the cure. I didn't really like applause. I was not an art pop diva. I was not a Joanne diva. I feel like now retroactively, I've caught on more to our pop, but at its release did not like it.
But also chromatica. As much as it felt like our return, it also felt likewell or regression. Yeah, it felt like this was probably the last album like that we might get from her. Let's not try to aifess that baby. Let's let's I do.
But I would be fine with if she wants to, like have a baby and get fat and do cheek to cheek five six, seven and twelve.
I'm okay with that.
I would love for her to do that. Actually, I would like for her to do something as long as she has like a human life. It doesn't feel like
she has like a human life. Like she like she's destroyed, Yes, destroyed, she was destroyed by her level, Like her tweet fame is a prisoner whatever, like a stupid tweet, but like she You can tell through all of the commentary and all of the art that she specifically has made about fame, which sometimes feels like cliche, archetypal bullshit about fame, really is inside of her. She is so deeply traumatized by the experience of being the biggest pop star in the world.
And that sounds like a really stupid thing to like, you know, say in defense for order to create sympathy for her. But like we as humans actually are not We are not physically we should not be physically able to take on the amount of exposure that it is when you are that level of famous, like psychologically it's very bad for you. Yeah, And you can tell that now that she's like sorry, like meded up, like she has way way too many drugs in her body.
Now, I'm worried she's gonna Michael Jackson off this mortal coil that is I'm so yes, that is exactly what it's giving.
It's something worries someome And I really hope that if we get to this point where some of these signs are like more explicit, that we don't do like what happened to Brittany or what happened to like these other girls.
Like I want to protect Gaga. I care about her a lot, and you know, maybe I should be more charitable and think the sort of lackluster energy she's given currently is her way of protecting herself. Probably, but I don't know. Just like the energy feels so misplaced, like the House Labs of it, all the chromatica oreos, so the weird fake boomerangs and.
Oh the boom ranks are so bad. The oreos are unforgivable. The House Labs, however, you have.
Some I did. I showed the other night. I was wearing the new House Labs blush and the shade lavender blonde. Okay, Oh, I love so happy I could die and I bought it. I bought that shade literally just because of the name, but it is actually a good. Wait wait, so happy I could die? Oh wait, it's it's so happy I could die. The song the lyric, I love that lavender blonde. Oh the color of the blush is the shade is lavender blonde?
Work?
Wait what else? So wait you I've seen you wear a lip by House Labs. Yeah, the the lip crans are fine. What's the is it like? Oh? The best? I think the best product they make is their lip oil. I think they're litil I heard. I think their lip oil is the best lip oil on the market period. I oh, better than Amy Coole. I haven't used their
lip oil. I always yet targeted instagrams for that ship better than do your better than the Knicks, do your ripoff better than the Fentie, which I think is a close second.
I know you don't have the wear foundation, but I've also heard the House Lives Foundation is excellent.
Well, I've heard like various things. Some people say it's really good, some people say it's really bad. Okay, good to know. Also there there eye paints are are okay, Okay, I'm now gonna go get me some blush. But it's powder blush, not cream. But it's almost it's almost powder. It's almost a powder to cream formula.
Okay, and coming up are sponsored by House Lab segment. I wish she would have taken out out on our podcast. I would love for the whole house lap Speed.
I know that I've met her before and I've seen her several times. I don't ever want to have a conversation with her. Yeah not again, I mean I did, I want. I can't because I've had one really good interaction with her at the time when she was the most important to me, like her peak era, and it
was the best kind of interaction. She was like funny, she was a little mean, she was a little bitchy and I was great, And I don't know that I want to meet this Gaga now, even though I was very pissed when I went on a press trip and right you did right and did not get to meet Gaga because I wasn't one of the influencers who.
Was there, remember, Well, So that's how I feel about Share. I don't want Share to ruin share for me. Yeah, Gaga, I would love to meet. However, I would never want to meet her as a fan, like I would never want the dynamic to be like, oh, I'm like walking up to her in a public place or like something like that. It would need to be like I'm friends with one of her friends, or I'm working on something that she's working on, or like something like that.
And I feel that way.
About a lot of kind of celebs that I could maybe meet, because I don't I hate the conversational dynamic of fan and not you know, and the notoriety person.
I mean, I do think the circumstances are really important with her because she commits fully to the drag of whatever she's doing at the moment. Yeah, so I'm sure like if you met her, like I'm she probably doesn't go out. But like, if you met her in more casual circumstances exactly, she would be doing casual drag. If you met her at like a house labs event, she would be in business woman drag. If you met her like at a meet and greet at a show, she would be doing Gaga drag.
Gaga is a drag artist, but she's not performing womanhood. She's performing Gaga.
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah she I yeah.
I feel that way about a lot of celebs, honestly. I mean, I'll never meet Gaga probably, but like I do, like if I see like a celeb, like at a party or at a bar, or like if I'm or at like a red carpet event or whatever, like, I don't want to.
I don't want to walk out to them and.
Say hi, I'm blah blah blah, because I'd much rather wait for a maybe possible, potential moment where our paths intersect in an organic way where we feel more like peers.
But sometimes you just got to go for it. No, because might not have another chance.
No, never, I don't. That's the thing is, I don't want to meet them. I don't want to eat It's either I meet them in that context, or I don't want to meet them at all because and that sounds like kind of egoistical, but like, look, I've worked very hard, Like I'm in a lot of cool celebrity circles sometimes, and yeah, I don't want to walk up and say hi, I want to wait till i'm there peer.
I'll never be Gaga's peer. You'll never be I'll never be anything close to that. But you know, you'll just be some fag. Yeah, I'll just be some fag. I told you she didn't have a dick. Wait, wait, wait, we need to talk about that. Oh about how everyone thought she was trans.
Yes, yes, this is crazy. This is actually like like a massive cultural massive cock. A massive yes, a massive she cock, a massive cultural scandal, a massive she is a massive shen take.
Off to the planet, to the planet. I it was a.
Massive cultural scandal that took over news cycles. I heard about it as a kid and so like, and yet it's like kind of like never, it kind of never happened. It's wild that that was such a thing. Like it was not the same as when we all said Sierra had a dick, or when we said Jamie Lee Curtis had a dick, when Gaga had it, Sigourney Weaver that we thought had to dick. No Jamie as well. Oh, Sigourney Weaver maybe has no.
I'm just kidding.
These are all rivers. But like when everyone was saying Goga has it, God, it was like what. And then she in that interview with Anderson Cooper when he was like, so, people say you have a dick and She's like, yeah, which obviously like part of it is shocked that it like something like that feels like shock value, great pr and she's smart. She was on the cusp of fame. She was like, let me write it without saying transphobic shit. And he was like, so, do you have more to
say about it? And she was like what if I did, Like, would it be so bad?
Her early interviews are so so phenomenal, iconic, like around Born this Way, There's one where this woman asks her what's the one thing in the world she wants to the one experience of the world she wants to have the most and she just goes, dah, yes, yes, yes, it's very you, it is very me.
Yeah.
All of her Honestly, interview, Gaga is the Gaga an early interview. Gaga, thank you for that clarification is actually the thing that I'll remember forever and why I'll always love her.
That's maybe the one circumstance in which I would want to like interact with her now interview is if I got to do like a proper like profile or like on camera moment, because she would be in full drag for that experience and I would get a really good version of her. Yeah, because she I think the thing now is that she keeps it so turned off all the time, so that in the moments when she has to turn it on, it can be at one hundred thousand percent.
Hmmm.
I love I mean I do love her and I will I will always love her more than anyone else period. I mean, he's my girl.
Gaga is your diva, Beyonce, she Gaga's my number two easily, and they hold completely different spaces.
Gaga has made me cry so many times. The first time I saw Starsborn, I sobbed my way through it, and I honestly was convinced it was going to win Best Picture of the Oscars. And then the second time I saw it, I was like, Okay, no, I do kind of want to rewatch it. It's been a while since I saw it. I mean, it's a bad movie, but she's very compelling in it.
She's amazing. I don't think it's a bad movie. I think that the last third is bad, and I think the rest of the movie is amazing. It's a movie that feels.
Like a movie.
You're my boyfriend, I mean my husband. You're looking You're so fucking ugly. You could never be my fucking dad. You never be my fucking dad.
I'm moortown. You got your fucking body, fucking body, you're so fucking so fucking hey, some of your come here and what that fucking makeup ass? Fuck your She go right, okay, slid into our dms at like a Virgin four twenty sixty nine And let us know what's your favorite Gaga song?
Gaga album? Do you think Lady Gaga killed Lena MORGANA?
Do you think she has a dick still?
She does?
And next week make sure to tune in for an episode all about chain restaurants.
Yes, we are saying it all.
When it comes to the cheesecake Factory, Olive Garden, Chilis, et cetera, et.
Cetera, you would think that I would have chimed in there, but you know, we have so many restaurants that we went through its honestly cantors, they could not be counted by our merch.
At Like a Virgin four twenty sixty nine dot com, you can also become a patron at Patreon dot com slash like a Virgin for weekly bonus episodes. And we have a little preview of this week's Patreon episode at the end of this episode, So if you've been on the fence and want to check it out, listen for a little tease and follow us at Like a Virgin four twenty sixty nine On Instagram. You can also follow me anywhere you want at Rosdam, you.
Can follow me at Friends, squish Goo, anywhere you like, and not just to our own horn. But this live show was pretty juicy. In fact, I did say a few things.
On the mic that I forgot.
We're going to be in a recording, So if you want some like exclusive hot goss and you want to feel like you're right there in the room, follow us for that amazing all star lineup that evening.
Get into our Patreon Yes, become a paywell princess today like a Virgin is an iHeartRadio production. Our producer is Phoebe Unter, with support from Lindsay Hoffman and Nikki Etur Until next week. Bye me, and here's a special clip from this week's Patreon episode, Become a Patron at patreon dot com slash like a Virgin? Divas? Who are they? What do they do? What do we do in relation to them? Divas leave us with so many questions? Was this written by chat GBT? Yeah? All of our banter
was written by chat GBT. Everything we say on the podcast is written by chat GPT. But you know who isn't written by a chat gpt? Who either of our next guests. That's right, let's bring them out. Let's right, bring them out right now? Please welcome to the stage. Hi Pluton and Joel Kim Booster.
Started.
I'm so sorry. We're so tangled in wires and web cheer. It's like a polycule. Oh my god, we are a polycule now. Oh yay, Happy pride, Happy Pride. I didn't get to that chapter of polysecure yet, but are you all ready to play a game?
Yeah?
I did.
I'll in full disclosure, I did smoke a joint before getting here. Because oh we love that, because I don't respect you.
No, no, babe, babe, the feeling is absolutely mutual, Diva.
But no, I'm really I'm ready.
I feel free, I feel ready to talk.
Okay, great, because we're going to play a game of Diva, which like does not have much to do with the actual game, but it was a fun name, so it was.
Yeah. So we are going to ask producer Phoebe to be the voice of God and ask us a series of questions and we're going to answer honestly from the heart.
Okay, from the heart and the whole and the whole.
Hearts and wholes, the dichotomy. Yes, Okay, give us the first question.
The first question is what diva do you want to sing at your wedding? She will also sing in the hotel room on your wedding night as you're making love, and we'll be cooking you breakfast the next morning. This is a multiple choice question.
Okay, what are the choices?
The choices are A Megan Trainer, do you two trainers make some noise?
You two trainers?
B Kelly Clarkson see Carrie Underwood. D Rita Aura or like.
Other Rita Aur is kind of the other of the pop world. What do y'all think?
Okay, okay, my other would be I don't know why this I came to be so quickly, and even though she isn't a singer, she is a diva. But what's in what's her name?
Again?
From from.
Getting as I had half an ipay and feeling crazy, she's bisexual and wait, Carroen, Carol Basket, Carol.
Yeah, I did not realize she was a by icon.
Yeah, she's a BiCon.
My issue with this question and I will answer, but like not to have oppositional defiance disorder, is that I don't really know the catalog well enough from any of those women, like as a transgender male bisexual entity. So I will choose Megan Trainer because I would hope that her plus one would be the little twunk from Spy Kids.
Who's your husband? Right? Yeah?
Who she poops next to? Yeah, that's my answer.
First of all, I would like to apologize. I'm still reeling from the fact that you said the word bisexual and my first thought was Tila Tequila.
Yeah.
Yeah, to the bisexual community. I feel really bad about that my other.
If my other would be I think somebody who encompasses a lot of different vibes in that sizza.
I think I don't know if you can be such a sad wedding night.
Yeah, I got Sexy One.
It's a sexy one. I fucked that album all the time.
Oh yeah, I definitely love fucking and says it's like I have pimples. It's really hot.
But I guess if I had to choose one of those ladies, I'd be spending a lot of time with them. And I do think Kelly Clarkson can hang.
I do think so Kelly Clarkson will be singing in the hotel room.
With you as you It's gonna be rough, and I.
I will be.
I guess I I'm gonna have to do side behavior the whole time because I just can't imagine Kelly seeing anal I can.
I think she's seen a lot of anal Actually, all.
Right, Next question?
Next question, question is who would you trust to drive you home from top surgery? Caitlyn Jenner or Chris Jenner.
Oh if the answer kind of OBVIU.
Okay, honestly, it's only hey. My answer is is site specific. I live in New York City and so therefore it's Caitlin, Use, I don't think aggressive driving. Yeah, I don't think that, Chris Jenner. There's too many like like, I need someone who's on uppers, not downers, you know what I mean? And Chris is so fucking barred out all the time. You can't drive you home from Midtown where I got my top surgery, and like an escalade like we will die, But didn't Kaitlyn kill someone in the car?
Oh, your answer has been sealed. You can't take it back. Yeah, I mean then it's definitely Caitlyn.
The answer sands you know who.
Drove you home after your top surgery?
But yes, me plans, plants.
You're like, I'm too high to process this question.
No, I think like I'm thinking about who would ask the least annoying questions on the way home about what it is to be someone? Would you know that of trans experience? And I actually think Chris would be less annoying.
Than a solid answer, and she would already have plans about how to monetize it.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Wait can I say a non secutor?
Of course, only because I had half of an I p a yes, because we told her like Kelly Clarkson, anal.
Now I'm like Simon Cowell.
And thinking about how growing up we were all really like mesmerized by his nipples. I want the Simon Cowell peck implant, is what I'm saying.
Oh, okay, universal healthcare, thank you, and kay, we'll drive you home.
Okay.
Next question, if you were in the Titanic submersible, heard of it, what is the last diva anthem you'd stream on Spotify before it imploded?
No choices, you have to come up from scratch.
Hey, let me start by saying that I thought all of I thought submersible was an inside joke in a way. I didn't know it was actually a noun that we're all calling it like instead of summarine, like the submersible.
I was like, gay people are so.
Funny, but it is noun. Last diva anthem? Oh, definitely, Britney spears. Wisom till the world ends? Oh it would be till the world ends Britney spears. And that's a gay guy answer.
You're welcome. I honestly, my first song was married j Blanche. I'm going down? Is that too obvious?
No?
It works.
I feel like I already know your answer, Rose, which would be the Nanny theme song. It would be the yeah you know me so well.
Another question, Sorry, no, I know, Joel, listen, it's not funny. It's just my favorite song in the whole world.
And that's Diana.
Ross's the boss, and in many ways it was the boss's fault that that all happened in the first place.
That's very true. Okay, next question.
If you were trapped in the woods like the Lesbians and Yellow Jackets, which of these divas would you you most want to cannibalize A Laana del Rey, the Florence Welch see Lord de Gloria Stefan.
Gloria would be delicious exactly.
The answer has to be Lana because obviously it's like, if we can just just safely assume that the human flesh tastes like what the human was eating, I want Lana flesh, you know, I want like parliaments, chili, cheese, dog elf bar. Yeah, I want like combos like gas station snacks.
That would be good.
And then like Florence Welch, it would just be like Spirulina and like Lilax.
Like well, and if there's somebody that you want a round in the woods, it's Florence welch okay, like it feels like a natural habitat for her. I think it's got to be Lana because of the whole hopex boyfriend. I feel like she probably internalized a lot of politics and I don't want to be around it.
I support that, and I do think she would taste delicious.
Yeah, well, pussy tastes like whatever, Cherry Coler or whatever.
So yeah, exactly, there's no way it tastes like cherry Colon. No, it really, I know experience it tastes like Cherry Cole.
I think it tastes it's I think her pussy is like carbonated, like.
CrOx.
Yeah, exactly. Okay, next question if sorry god.
Okay, if you were Lily rose Deep in the idol, which pop star would you want to play? The cult leader?
Who fucks you?
There's only two choices.
Because we couldn't think of any male diva.
There's two Elton John or Rue Paul and and if you can think of another male diva, please use this time.
To share with us who that is.
This is kind of a stretch, but I would like it. Adam Lambert count.
I actually say absolutely mono cultural in the moment, Adam Lambert.
But I mean, I've never listened to this Tom Jones.
Count Can you imagine getting top and you're like, what's new, pussy cat?
Whoa?
Whoa?
He absolutely counts. So would you Jones? So would you want to have sex with Bob Joan, Adam Lambert, Bob the Bible College Founder? I obviously Adam Lambert, Rue Paul or Elton John.
I think Elton John of the two original ones, knows how to have sex better.
I think that Rue Paul has sex like a clone simulation.
Yeah, where it's like he knows what it's like because he lived through the seventies and the eighties.
But now it's just like having sex with a really sad mirage.
And we saw those pictures of Elison John on that boat, you know what, He's in the jumpsuit and his little dick, you know talking about he's in a romper, so he's.
A party it.
Okay, So that's where the show will take place on the boat on the boat the Idle season two, Lost at Sea, and the stays on during sex.
Okay.
I think we can go to the next.
Question, which is which diva should star in the next remake of a star is born. The options are A. Tyra Banks, B Kim Petres See Rosalia and de Gaga again but in Drag as Joe Calderome.
Now we're cooking with fire.
I don't know.
I can never quite twell where we stand with her, But I do you think Rosalia? I saw her Coachella said it was quite wonderful, and I think it would be really interesting to see another white person.
Doing that role. The role so important, it is a culturally white object.
I want Tyra Banks, but she plays both parts, yes, because that's what That's what the rewriter right, because there's no way I want her as Bradley Cooper and a's Lady Gaga like, and that's what I want.
Final answer, Okay, where Galaxy Brain? I'm astream more. Yeah, I think we are at our final question for me. More take it away, just one more?
All right, here's the last question. You have been cast as a series regular in the next season of and just like that, as one of the many rotating diversity quota characters, filling in the place of Samantha Jones. What is your character's name and profession?
Okay, okay, I've thought about this for a long time.
You auditioned for this.
Yeah.
No, I think my character would be Lily's birth father, a gay, a gay sperm bank dude, and of course his name would be something.
Awful like Satchel Kim.
Cho Chang.
Yeah, exactly, and I think he would you know, they're they're trying to subtly replace all of them together. I think he would sort of be the replacement for Stanford in some ways, and they would be would really butt heads with Anthony because Anthony would be like.
I think siss is a slur or something.
You know it is, So I love that and I can't wait to watch you on the show.
Hi, you know.
Oh yeah, so I have I have one And this I was just spitballing. So my character would be called Amanda Chimalley, and I think she like works in marketing for sure. Yeah.
I would be like Jay Diaza's like non binary sidekick, and my name would be like Triangle, and they would force me to get a side shave that matches Shay's. And then I think we would just like do buddy comedies where we like smoke.
Weed backwards or something.
I would just be some kind of series regular and x Y and me Chad AS's TV show, and I feel like my name would probably be like Gabrielle, Garcia Rodriguez or something.
Well, we'll see all of you on season three of them, just like that, unless it gets canceled. And please give a big run of applause to our amazing chandelists. Thank you, thank you so much. Oh my god, this is what Joel's gonna hear on his wedding night as he's making the Sweet Tender Love so beautiful, say the EU in Judas. The You is better than the Beatles' entire discography. And
that's a fact. Government Hooker should have been played at the inauguration and we haven't talked about that enough as a society. Oh wait, these are all tweets. Fuck you Rose, fuck you keep that Phoebe