Shawne Merriman Talks With Former NFL Chargers And Broncos Defensive Back Quentin Jammer About His Battles With Depression.

all different kind of backgrounds, celebrity sports figures. We're gonna be talking sports and sometime talking not about sports, but bottom line, we're gonna be telling just like how it is, straight to the point, not beating around the bush. We're not walking on the eggshells and just really talking about what the world needs to hear. And notice I said

needs to hear, not one of here. And today we are talking to one of my former teammates, Quentin Jammer from the San Diego Charges, and we were primarily talking about Dak Prescott and his press conference and in the mental health of football players and sports athletes. They don't get talked talked about enough. It just don't get talked about enough, so we're gonna dive into it. He's dealt

with his own personal situations. I've dealt with my own personal situations, and many other athletes have their own personal battles going on, but not too many talk about it because it's looked at as being weak. Uh you know, we're we're modern day glady. It is. We're not supposed to talk about things like that. But back there was show leadership. And we'll dive into a little bit more

with my former teammate and my boy, Quentin Jammer. One of the things I want to talk about, man, first is, uh, you know, the struggles that we go through as athletes and how we're like supposed to be not human and how we're perceived as to everyone else. You know, we've always been taught to uh toughen up. You're not not show any pain and um, not showing any emotions. And I can't remember and recalled how many times I actually put bones back in place and taped it up and

went back in the game. And that's how we grow up and that's what we're learning. And so just the struggles that you know, we all go through and um, you know, on and off the field, and people really just don't understand. Yeah, they don't understand it. Man. I remember in college. Ship, I tour everything in my left shoulder, bro like shoulder came out. I put a little sleeve on, went back in the game. It came out twice during

the game. Um And at a halftime they were like, you can't go back in, dude, Like we're just gonna decide to have the surgery on Monday. Uh. And I was like, Nope, I'm go back in. Give it one more, try tighten this ship up. Let's go went back in. That's right back out. But you know, because you know we're we're told to be gladiator and you learned that as a kid. I just remember growing up, like you're crying in the house. You got you got punched in

your chest and told you to toughen up. And um, you know, sometimes you you learned it, that's the way. And you don't even really pay attention to the mental health aspect of it because you've been taught to be this way. But um, and and the reason why I'm bringing this up is because of the past and of Dak Prescott's brother and what happened and um him coming out. Man,

it it hit me in a different way. Uh. That made me respect Dac and the whole different light because it's not easy you know, for us being told we're we're glad. He has grown up being told you you're not not showing any emotion, not do this, and not do that. And he just told the world man like, I need to get mentally right before I can lead

this team. And people don't understand what we you know, what we go through and just in the mental aspect of it, period, we we go through it, yeah, mentally like, um, you know, I mean the NFL is made up primarily of black athletes who grow up you know, with without a dad or whatever the case may be. Um, we also, you know, we come from you know, tough backgrounds. A lot of us come from really tough backgrounds. A lot of us go through, you know, stuff that people can't

even you know, imagine. So it starts there and then we grow up through this process and where you can't really talk about how you feel or or what has been done, uh to you because you're soft in the community where you know you're soft if you talk about you know, uh what what's wrong with you? And and so you know, for that to come out and and tell the world, you know, hey, listen, this is what what what went on with me? I went through a

period of depression. It's big. It's big for the community who are who are dealing with depression and kind of hiden it, you know, because how how can you get help? How can we how can we get give How can we help somebody who doesn't talk about their issues if we don't think that there that they need help, you know what I'm saying. So it's it was good that somebody on such a big platform, uh, came out and and said, Look, I deal with depression. Like I am

not a fucking robot. I deal with depression. And I still have to lead a football team on Sundays and I have to lead them every day, every day we go to practice, every I have to you know, I have to lead my life. I have to lead kids.

I'm a role model. I'm in commercials. So, you know, like I said, for him to come out with such a big platform and and tell you know the stuff that's going on with him, you know, I hope you know, uh, it will have you know, help more people come out and tell you know, people I need help because we have so many guys that that you know, don't open up. And then end up with a bullet in their chest, you know what I'm saying. So, um, they and and they don't they don't get the help that they need

because maybe they feel alone in the whole process. I don't know exactly, but you know from my experience, UM, I went through it bro honestly, and you know, I kept it in. I tried to hide it as long as I could. And and finally, you know, um, I just I just you know, spouted off to my wife like I can't do this no more. And my she got on the phone my brother. They sent me to this uh this brain rehabilitation place for like six and

a half months. The best things that I've done. But you know, I mean if you don't if you don't talk about it and nobody knows, then how can you how could you get help? You know? What? What was the what was the day of the breaking point? Like for you? Did you realize like that that you that you had to talk to somebody and say, look, I'm

I'm dealing with it and I'm going through it. Uh. It it got to a point like because I I literally like after the day I retired, I went through a real high point where I was just on top of the world, like uh through four a year and about a year year and a half. So basically to like me, I was good and then all of a sudden and like uh at at one point in uh bro,

I just hit. I just hit a wall. And you know, I thought I didn't think that none of it was like okay, you know, it's just a bad day, bad week, bad month. And it kept going on. It went on five years, you know what I'm saying, where I just didn't do anything. I didn't want to go out. Um. I sat on the couch watch TV. I was drinking heavily,

hit hiding liquor bottles from my wife and ship. So uh it got bad and um and there was one point when um um I I you know, I hate to talk about it, but like I literally got in the truck, left the house. Uh, and I thought that this was gonna be it for me, you know what I'm saying. UM. And I had I had drank so much and I had I was on I was taking

sleeping pills because I couldn't sleep. I was and I had drunk and took uh probably too many tris have done with the word like I parked thought I was gonna end it all and fell asleep and woke up and the next morning like ship that could have went sideways fast, bro, And I was like that was it to me? Like I needed some help. And then the first person, you know, you you went to obviously you're probably your wife, and yeah, my wife, my brother, uh,

my younger brother. Now he's with a Detroit Lion, so he got well Seattle Seahawks now got traded last year. But he uh he knows me, um, probably better than I know me, and he knew something was going on and he had already, you know, gave my wife heads up. So like you come to a point man that you you have to talk to somebody or um, you know, it could it could go bad really really fast. You know,

um kind of crazy. You were talking about the whole bull in the chest thing, and I'm thinking if you referring to to you know, late grade junior, say I and somebody who I looked at as a damn superhero like Joan bug Man, Like when I first came in, you saw him, you just thought like this damn globe was behind it. You're like, man, that's junior, say out And um, I never forget that. The day meeting him, uh in the lobby of the Charges practice facility and I come in, I see Junior say, and my face

lit up. I'm like, whole ship, that's Junior, say I and uh, he shook my hand. We're talking for a couple of minutes, and he called me buddy, right, So I got all giggling, you know, the sv it man, I'm doing your say, I was buddy right, So I'm smiling into air. I thought everything was cool, and uh, he walked away or whatever, and I kind of trailed him walking down the hallway where all the pictures are at and I heard him call like ten other people buddy.

You know, I just realized he called everybody buddy. And one thing that I knew and I found out quickly when I got to San Diego that it wasn't anything or nothing moving bigger than Junior say, how like he was San Diego and what he did in the community, Um, you know when he meant that people there, he was

he was like the staple of everything. And I looked at him, um as as like somebody who wasn't real, like a cartoon character who um you know, played through crazy And because doctor child would tell me all the team doctor for the charges would tell me all this stuff, and I would ask everything. But I want to know every single thing the junior to say you out did, because I want to do what he did. I want

to do more. And so I found out every place he was rehabbing, every place he worked out, his six AGM work out, his his breakfast club workouts with him Rodney Harrison. I tried to find out everything that junior say I did. And I saw this man working I think even this fourteenth and fifteenth year in the offseason, and I said, no way in hell, no way in hell, somebody's still running around here doing this in the year like fourteen fifteen. And so I thought of him when

I got to San Diego as his superhero. And I'll never forget the day, uh, that I got that call I was in Buffalo that he took his life. And I'll never forget what I was doing. I won't forget the clothes that I had on. Um. I was just getting a massage in my living room. My massus was there and I got the call, and uh, I just tried to walk away. And I was living downtown Buffalo. I walked downstairs, and I'm tearing up just a little bit, trying to keep it in. I didn't want to want

my massus to see me crying. And I walked downstairs for this little commentary, took the elevator and I walked and I just started the ball. I couldn't stop crying. And the first person I called was Ray Lewis. And you know, Ray was a mentor of mind since you know, since I was in college, and I called him and I don't even remember crying like that, since I was a kid. And I was crying and crying and crying.

And when I called Ray Lewis, he was also crying on the phone, bawling out and we couldn't even get a word out. We couldn't even get a word out because we were crying on the phone for fifteen minutes straight before we were able to even say a word to each other. That from that day on, um it changed away. Did I looked at being vulnerable and letting people know that you need help? Because I said, and the way I looked at Junior say out and how big he was and what he meant to San Diego,

what he meant to just so many people. I was thinking in my head and said, if he can do this to himself, this this this giant of a person and personality and who he was and all the pain and all the things that he played through, and he

can take his own life and it's real. And that was a day for me that I knew that if I ever had problems and I went through it, if I had had problems, I had to sit down and talk to somebody because you don't know when that day it's gonna come, and you don't know the possibilities of taking your life or even having a thought process of doing it, and to talk to somebody before you get to that point. Yeah, it's it's bad, man, and it's

you know. The thing about Junior was was, like you said, his personality, you would have never in life, if you ever met him, you would know you would have never in life thought that he had anything going on um to to the extent that it that it went, you know, never ever um. And because he was such a big personality. Every time you saw him, he greeted you with a big gass smile and hey buddy, and you never would have thought that, um, that a guy with with you know,

with so much going on. Um, you know had you know in the demons, you know he was, he was such a tough guy. He just you know, I don't know if I see I don't know, like I I've seen that. You know that I think that ESPN did something on on his story. And that's when that's when it hit me, because you know, I didn't even believe believe it. When when I got the news that uh, that he took his life, I think it was like breaking news and I was just watching TV. Didn't even

believe it. I was like, no, that Shi, it didn't happen,

not at all. And UM, it really didn't hit me until you know, I think, uh, ESPN did it was a thirty for thirty or or something about about his life and um, just to hear you know, his formal former personal assistant, you know the uh I think her name was Betty who you know ran his foundations and um and ran his restaurant, and you know, to hear her talk about it, like I remember like sitting on the couch watching this and like just being in tears, like just in tears about it because you know, um,

I think you know she tried to help him and uh and he was in for it in and then you know he's junior say I'm I'm you know, like I don't need help, bro, and um, and you know it it ended so badly and I hate to see it for for for his kids. I hate to see it, for his ex wife. I hate to see it for everybody, Betty, hate to see it for everybody involved, all the people who loved him, you know, as fans are included. You know,

we all hate to see it. So you know, UM, I hope you know that uh, that Dax message you know, gets you know, uh, gets taken for what it was, and it was that you know, Um, I am just because I'm an athlete doesn't mean I don't have real world, real life problems, you know, and issues that can get me to go sideways. I am like money, it doesn't matter. I'm making thirty million dollars this year, but I still

get depressed, you know what I'm saying. So, like I I hope the public you know, can can can process it, um the way we're processing it right now. You know exactly what he's said. What have UM if you have some advice with some of the people out there, because everybody deal with a difference. You know, I know I'm

not big in the meditation. I tried it, and I'm like, man, I'd rather just go work out, you know, I like try to get into it, but I'm like not somebody who is the whole meditation things is not really for me. So you know, I'll go spar three four days a week. I'll get in the cage and you'll roll, you know, jiu jitsu out you know, box whatever, lift weights whatever. That is like that my outlet to keep me balanced. If you know you're going through your your your dealing

some of the things you had to deal with. What would you tell other people, other players or anybody who know don't play sports, man, Like, what's what's the steps they would need to do in order to get help? But what what is you do in the past it can help somebody else. You need an outlet, like you just like you said, you go box, you go s far. But I I was, I'm still big in jiu jitsu. You need an outlet regardless of like, um, like I haven't I gotta It's chance I'm gonna have to have back, sir.

You know what I'm saying, Because like I got a lot of ship going on from football, but my outlet is jiu jitsu. And regardless of how I feel, how bad it hurts, like, you gotta go because that's your outlet. That's what you that's what you know, that's what keeps you going every day. That's what you know. You endorphins. You need to, you know, get out and do something physical, but you find it out, whether it's working out or

yoga or just hikes, whatever it is. Find one, find multiple, just you know, getting out to to to do something and talk to somebody to help people how you feel, so you can get some milk and medication it works. Like maybe maybe you don't maybe you you know, you don't believe in um in in medication or you have something type of you know, um resistance towards UH towards medications. But find a medication that that can help you get

back on track. So an outlet medication, even if it's medication for a little bit, so you can just you know, you can get through a hard time in your life and then you can come off when you're ready. Like

that's that's that's all that's good too. But finding outlet, go try something new, you know what I'm saying, go, if you've never tried jiu jitsu, I'm I'm a big just to an advocate because one you're learning to skill, you know, a real life you know skill that you can use if you're you know, ever attack you know in life. You know what I'm saying that, Um too, it's a workout pushing, pulling, um, you know, uh cardio, you know those six minute rounds rolling on the floor

with like six dudes. It's bro, It's it's real life cards and um and you know it's good for the soul. You know what I'm saying. Boxing, Like I can't say enough about you know, just just uh an outlet being something you know, uh steeped in combat, you know, because you're learning to to to to be you know. Um. I always put it in context of you know, you learn the skill of being being a weapon if you ever need to be, because you know, we live in

a society where should go sideways quickly, you know. Um, so being able to defend yourself is is checking your family is huge. So um, you know, like jiu jitsu, boxing, kickboxing, whatever it is, Uh, go do it, whether it's lifting weights, running, get into something like where you can get outdoors, out of the house, where you're not just sitting on the

couch playing video games or or watching TV. And nothing against you know, playing video games or watching TV, because I still do it, but find time to get out and and uh and do something something productive that Like I said, learn a new skill, learn something new. I'm actually gonna like I got a little bored. I figured I'd get get my real estate license. So I'm gonna

go through the process of getting the real estate. Whether I would use it or not, who knows, but just to have it just a new skill, to to be able to do something like keep your options open like it, uh, you know, just you know, uh, just being um uh immersed in something take your mind away from all the dark thoughts. So um like man, just immerse yourself into something to keep your mind off of off of the

out of the darkness. Yeah. So you're speaking all all this combat sports, you know, Yeah, is there is there is there any chance or have you thought about ever competing? I know we talked about some time you possibly taking a fight with lights out. Um you know, we we talked about it some time ago. I know you had some injuries and some stuff and trying to get everything together. But was there any possibility that you was gonna compete on a professional level. Yeah, I've I've competed in multiple

judicial tournaments, um, a bunch of them. Um, I can't even count how many, but it's been a lot. Um. I've uh competed in a couple of amateur fights around San Diego at clubs, but it's still fights or we all have, not old club and bar fights, not like that actual caya, yes, civilized edie. Yeah, and I still would like, uh still would like to fight like on a professional level. Yeah, it's still something that I want to do. Like I say, I'm I'm gonna immerse myself

into something. But right now I'm just trying to trying to get healed up. But once ill, alright man, hey, so um no, that's all good man. I just wanted to, you know, get one of the big things across um and basically if if people, for example, you know, you said you're back her the injured and you've got some things going, um what what what can somebody else do? You know? The real estate license? I think I think

that was that was brilliant. Man. It's just like I said, if if you're learning something every day and picking up a trade, you can't lose I mean you really can't. You can't lose man, because even if you don't use it, you haven't your in your back pocket. And what if one day, you know, you just like the thing that the thing about us, you know as athletes and former athletes, you know, um, we always have our names, you know

what I'm saying. So we meet a lot of people who know a lot of people, and you just never know who you will come across. The one you may come across a guy who you meet at the grocery store who is like brokeer or whatever it is that he may be. Maybe uh, he may own his own real estate company and you he's a fan, and and he may say, so what you up to now? And like, well, else,

I'm just doing whatever. I got my real estate license, but I don't know if and he may just offer you to help him out, just you know what I'm saying, And then you can you may start up, you know, life after football with a real estate license, you may get into it and and and uh and and build your own business. Um, not what I plan on doing, but it could happen. It's but it's good too. It's good to learn, like you said, it's good learning trades,

good to learning skill. It's good to always be progressing. Learn something, learn anything, read a book, read multiple books, like go whatever whatever you have to do, like um, like always push yourself forward, you know, don't stay stagnant and and and stay the same. And that's you know, it's funny you said that because I always have this thing. Did I say about former athletes? We wasn't guys wasn't great on the field because they were just bigger. Fact

I seen stronger than everybody else. Like when you get up to the to the NFL, everybody's big, fast and strong. But the guys who separating themselves is because our mentality and our ability to go and learn and want to learn and want to keep getting better and keep getting better. And then when you retired, you find yourself in this weird space. I remember the first two years and I was broadcasting. I didn't feel comfortable talking about the game, and I was sitting up there and I was supposed

to be analyzing the game. But I still felt in my heart that I was supposed to be out there, that I could not physically and like mentally and emotionally

let the game go. So I tell guys, if you take that same mentality that made you great on the field, court, or whatever your sport was, and you apply that to something you you really want to do you love doing after the game, you're going to be successful one way or another, because we just we have just want to want to learn and be great at something and we

won't stop until we get there, right, yeah, exactly. And this's like like for me, like and there's so many things like that I want to be great at, but I got stuck in the depression, you know what I'm saying, Like get stuck and like, um, you need you know, you need a push to get out of it. Sometimes. Um maybe you know, um, there's there's people that you know that get you know, so far into it that that that a push just won't help. Maybe they need a kick. Um. But you know we all need to

you know, um, to to to to help. Like I remember the other day, like just out of nowhere, like I just felt like I just I don't have a whole lot of followers on Twitter, but I just tweeted out, man, hey, check on somebody you never know when somebody needs you, you know what I'm saying. And I really mean that, like, uh, like check on somebody just you know, shoot, somebody texts at you, like you we we won't text for you know, a month to three months, but you'll check up like whatever,

like you just check you know me. You know what I'm saying. Um, And that's that's uh that that like I I feel that, and I think more people should do it, like check on your people, like if you um and check on people that ain't your people, you don't know, like if if you consider them a friend or you have a have the number in your phone to just check on them, see how they're doing, make

sure they're okay. Maybe they won't tell you, but you know, if something happened, at least you know you reached out to them to to try to you know, to try to see if there was anything going on. And maybe you you know, we all everybody, I don't care who you are, we all need people to talk to. You know what I'm saying. You always need somebody to talk to. And if you always need somebody that you can just

open up to. So if you don't have somebody you can open up to find somebody you can open up to man like that, you can just tell anything that you know because maybe you don't think that somebody has your back, but they've been in your life so long that if you open up to him, you find out that just how much, uh that they have your back. So um, it's like this, uh, like this is kind of near and dear to me the whole you know, depression and mental health thing, because I I've been through it.

You've been through it with the whole, you know, uh, with you know, junior and with retirement, and you know a lot of athletes go through it. A lot of athletes go through so we all we all know. But and you think about everything under the sun. I mean certainly you might you may not go forward and go through with everything, or you may not even try something, do you know, try it and whatever? But you I don't I don't know very many people, especially former athletes

that haven't thought about it. I don't know, at least thought about it. You might not take those next steps, but you at least thought about it at some point. And maybe that difference is you're not going a way through what it is reaching out and talking to somebody and maybe that might be it. Maybe that might be it. And I said, like we got on the subject, like I think, you know, Dad did a hell of a job of putting it out there that we are going

through it. Even in the game, we're still going through it. And you know, if and even for fans going through and reach out, just you know, just go go talk to somebody. Right, You're not gonna you don't have to open up on you know, national TV, but open up to somebody and tell somebody. Hey, man, all right, I'm going through it a little bit like m and I just need to talk. It can help because save a life. Yeah, hey cool brother, Hey, I appreciate you coming on. Man,

it was that was heavy. And then whenever you're trying to get those SPA rounds in, man, let me know, man, you know, not with not with me. You know. I just I just started working on the ground doing no no, no, I look, I want to stand up, man. I'll let you just I just start picking it up over the last three months and I'm on the ground now like two or three days a week, and I'm gonna see

what one look like. Yeah, you know, if I feel good, man, I go I watched your video, so I'm i'm I'm looking at him and I'm saying and I'm saying to myself, I know exactly what you're doing, like it looks like you're preparing to fight, because everything you're going through is how to stand back up after you get taken down. So I was like, let let me start. Let me start what I hate the worst thing, and that's being taken down, and get my ass back up, back up. Bro. Yeah,

good cool, Bro. Hey, I appreciate it. Yeah, I appreciate it. Appreciate you having me on many time you need me. Yeah, talk about anything you got me, bro, Yeah, my dog appreciate you. Guys, thanks for listening to my first podcast. I want to thank also Quinn jam for coming on and don't forget to subscribe and give me five stars, write a review and duh, We've got a lot of great stuff coming, so keep listening. We'll keep bringing the heat. H