Who Proposes When You're Gay?

Chicari Richardson was tested for cannabis at the trials for the Olympics after she won or before she won, who knows, And now she is not going to perform her relay at the Olympics or compete in her relay at the Olympics. So this is another sports organization that is completely antiquated and not up to fucking speed and needs an update, along with the World Tennis Association whatever the Tennis Association is for Europe, European Tennis, all of it between Naomi Osaka,

between this two different things but actually not. It's all about helping yourself cope with something. And this woman's mother died. Chicari Richardson's mother died, and she was using cannabis to help herself and ameliorate her pain and now is not going to be able to compete in the Tokyo Olympics because of that. So you can drink alcohol, but you can't smoke something that grows out of the ground from mother Earth because that is punishable by being eliminated from

the Olympics. So sports needs a big update, a real update. And I don't know if anyone saw me on the shop on HBO, but I was around a bunch of sports figures for the first time in my life, and it was so that was Tom Brady was there and Draymond Green, who I've loved he and I, Yeah, that's my kind of guy. And now I feel like I do know a lot about sports, so I'm gonna start commenting on it because of that experience. I spent at least two hours with those guys, and I don't think

there's anything I couldn't answer now about basketball, football. Majong Also Britney Spears. Britney Spears is father. It's still her conservator because a judge denied Britney spears request to not have her father be a conservator. So there's that. How do you feel about that, Brandon, Well, I think that that is laired. From my understanding, Laird Hamilton's Laird Hamilton's he's in control, he's in the new co conservator. The paperwork that was filed in November was to remove Jamie

as her conservator. Jamie's her dad, right, and so it was that paperwork that was actually just recently ruled on. So her attorney has not yet filed to have the conservatorship completely dismantled, from my understanding, So a lot of this, like the paperwork gets filed and then it takes X amount of time for the judge to their approver deny it. So it was the last admission to have Jamie removed

that was denied. So now they have to refile to take her out of the conservatorship like an appeal situation. From my understanding, Well, that's well, that's his judgment was that she's denied, so she has to appeal that denial. But that's not very hopeful. I mean, it's the same judge unless she goes to an above court, all right, maybe she'll go to a different circuit or whatever it is.

I saw that she was also recently invited by Congress to give her testimonial and experience with the conservator program in California. Well that should be something, But doesn't her father have to fucking let her go to Washington, d C. To testify in front of Congress And is he going to allow that? Well, there apparently there are two different types of conservators over Brittany. There's the conservator over her

person and a conservator over her state. Jamie, her father is apparently the conservator over her state, so all of her money matters go through him. Over her as a person is Jody Montgomery, who is an outside conservator who is supposed to be in place really as Brittain is advocate.

So the fact that she said in her testimony that she can't get married or take out her I U D. Means there's either a disconnecting communication or people aren't being truthful with the type of control they have over her. There are a lot of aspects to this, so I think it's gonna be a few months before we see how her recent testimony plays out. Two pretty well. Three, Bill Cosby's out of jail. That's another disgusting development on

a technicality. So while they don't dispute that he's guilty of what he did, because of a technicality, he was let out of jail. So that's the state of affairs in this country, you guys, Well not this country, because IOC is an international committee. But that's the state of the world right now. Well, and now this delta strain and the delta strain, But back to these three stories are all examples of white men making the rules and

deciding what's best in the interest of women. What are we talking about today's sweetheart, What are we talking about today? Let me look, Well, this is an interesting story. I think we have two lipstick lesbians and they're trying to figure out who proposes to who is it who or whom? Who proposes to whom? And I don't I don't know in that situation. No, nor do I. I always wonder

about that. I guess whoever is the dominant in the relationship or well, because they're sexually dominant and then there's emotionally dominant. Right yeah, Okay, what else are we talking about? We have a exmission that we get from a lot of people just feeling lost in life. We're gonna find you. We You're found. Consider forget hashtag problem solved, hashtag You're found, and tattoo removal. You don't have any tattoos right, not that I'm aware of, but I do have something sticking

to my butt. I went out with Joe Koy the other night and we got we got very very silly and wasted, and he I came home and I had a big stick or stuck to my ass, And every time I go in the shower or a a little bit more comes off. But I don't know where it came from, who put it there, or how long it's gonna last apparent, or how long it's going to be there. So I may have a tattoo. Who knows. Joe Koy is my

friend from Chelsea Lately. He used to be a comedian that was on the round table all the time for Chelsea Lately. And I called him and I was like, you know what, I want to go over to his house because I wanted to see. He's building his house and I'm building something. So I thought, oh, let me see what he's doing. And then I got there. While I was driving there, I asked him for the address. He said, please don't come, Please don't come. I don't want you to see my house like this, and I

was like, shut up. I said, give me the address. So I got in the car and I started driving to his house and like, you know, ten twenty minutes in, I'm like, this is where am I going to the valley? And then I looked at the address and I was still seventeen minutes away, and I just couldn't do it. So I turned around and I texted him and I said, I'm not I'm not coming. It's too far. And then he came over to me. Then we went to Katsuya and we had six grapefruit martinis together, so I mean,

that was ridiculous. And then we went to harv Els where there was a jazz club. Well, there is a jazz club. It's called her Bells in Santa Monica. For anybody ever looking for a cool place to go, that's it. Then he got home and I was like, Joe, I don't have my purse. I left it at her Bells. So he goes, get out of the car, you are such a mess, and set me up to my room and did you retrieve your purse? No? I never turned out. I never even brought a purse out that night because

I had forgotten to take a purse. So he went back to her Bells looking for my purse. I went inside was fast asleep while he was pounding on my door for about forty five minutes worried that I didn't have my purse. So this friendship is very uneven and I have to start being a little bit more reciprocal in my He is just too sweet and too nice and I am a cunt. Well, you can go look for his purse next time. Yeah, I'm sick. Uh. I am suffering from a neck injury, sweetheart, because I got yesterday.

I went to that doctor girl, the girl Vanessa. Yeah, and she took my blood out and then spun it and then reinjected it all through my neck with syringes and this thing called a stamper. I was pretty numb. I did that to my face once. Yeah, it was pretty I think it's going to have some good results. I can't wait to see it. I know it's like a it's like having a next strength inner. Well, I can't tell that you had anything done, so yeah, I'm surprised.

I'm not more bruised. I bruised very easily on the face, so it's very hard. Am No. I just take et cetera a lot. Speaking of which we're having all of your levels tested, So thank you. This is a reminder for everyone listening to also do your annual physical. Yes for a breast cancer Awareness month? Is a breastcancer awareness month? Is it? I don't think so. Let me look when breast cancer Awareness Month is so we're all in the know. It sounds like a February month to me. That's the

month of my birth. Sholace a bet on it no breast cancer Awareness month. Don't you like when you google something and there's a very question that you ask has no answer. It's like, what the fund did I just google? I feel like every time I google something, I get less information. October Okay, I was surprising. I was wrong. It wasn't February. Okay, Well it's good to know. I mean, yeah, Breast Cancer Awareness Month is probably a very important month

to know about, so my apologies. Well we'll circle back on that, especially with my breasts and your mother. I know, yeah her too, God rest her soul. I would have loved to meet Rita. My mom was really sweet. She was so cute, so snuggly. All of your family is kind of like that, though snuggly. They're all very like endearing in their own ways they all have a personality, and with dear childhood, imagine that everyone was kind of

forced to create a personality. I would think so. But I like when I meet people and their families and you find out, like all the little dynamics between siblings and moms and their daughters, because some moms are totally fucked up, right, you know, and they're weird around their daughters and like jealous or they want to like live vicariously through them. Jealous moms and daughters like that is so it's so fucked up to have to grow up that. But that's another example of you loving to see the

interpersonal relationships and workings and dynamics. Because I remember when I had first started, you had said that you were going with a friend to meet their parents or say, at their family's house in Oakland, and I was very surprised by that, thinking, oh, she's going to hate that, but you came back and you loved it, like, oh no, no, It's so interesting to see like how these interactions go between you know, one of your friends and their families

who you've never met, and you've done this now with some of your local girlfriends and their moms and now you're close to their moms. You did it when you're up in Canada, because I don't have one, so obviously I'm into moms and I have an aunt. It should be acting like my mother, but she can't because she's such a bit like whatever I am times a hundred is what my aunt is. And so she loves me, but she doesn't like me, your aunt Cabby. She she

lives locally. She's an interesting personality. I wouldn't use the word bitch, well what would be the word she? If I say her solitude? If I text her and say are you home, she will lie because she does not want me to come over, and she'll say, no, I'm not I'm sleeping. And that's how I know she'll she's there and to go anyway. But like she doesn't want

anything to do with me. She I like to spring my appearance by her, like I just like to show up unannounced, so she's forced to see that's what the move is. And yeah, and so she hated COVID because she didn't get to see all the grandkids in the regular cycle that she normally does. But she liked it because she doesn't want to be socializing anyway. And she wants an excuse to have to stay away from people. We both have a Gabby and I. We both have a love of crafting and of baking, and so that's

a commonality that we have. So we'll text about that occasionally, like this two story Joanne's fabrics at the craft store if you weren't aware, just opened up and we did a text exchange about that for a couple of days, which was so nice. Yeah, she's into crafting. I mean

I don't even yeah, I mean crafting. Actually, when I went to Thanksgiving this year, I think it was was a Thanksgiving when I went up to that rate cabin that that was a couple of years ago, you know, with Molly and the family, It wasn't a couple of years ago. Was with my sisters, just like on the lake that you had to come. You've had two bad Thanksgiving experiences, right. That's why I don't mingle with that family over the holidays, because they seemed to like do

it one step under what I'm comfortable with. They want to do it like the Pilgrims, and they love camping like they love to camp. And I'm not going to pretend I want to camp or try to camp. I tried, it's not a good fit. We're not signing you up for so there's no reason to make anybody suffer with me or go camping with people and had them be

exposed to my lack of camping ability. The last time we went up there, whatever holiday was my sisters and I went or Simone and Seneca and Jordan's and I went up and we stayed in that little that cement. I told you that it was like a little cell block. And so the first night I was like, Simone is like, do you think you're going to make it? And I was like, of course, I can sleep. And you were supposed to be there for four days. I think like we had packed you up, You're ready to go, and

you were excited to go to I was excited. Yeah, when Brandon packs me up, especially when I bring the dogs, it's exciting because then I feel like I'm a parent. And you love. Something people may not know is you love to drive, like around town, you'd like to drive yourself, and you also like to drive on a road trip. Well that's new. I like to drive on road trips new. But when I went up to this this event, which

I'm convinced. With Thanksgiving, my sister and I slept in the same bed, and that's also hard to do because she stores and she has sleeping issues. But now, I mean, I just have to hit her and she says and she stops, but you know, why do I want to even deal with that? So then the second night, I was like, I don't know if I can make it the second night. And then I was like, come on, you can't be like that, Like you've got to be able to sleep in this for two nights, you know.

And then I made it the second night, but I woke up with like six of the morning packs of the car and was out like suddenly you're home. I'm like, what the funk are you doing here? This is not on the agenda. You're yeah, it was, but they knew. You know, what's great about family is that they know who you're dealing with, so you don't ever have to like pretend like, oh no, I'm I like it here. I like sleeping block, I love it. I can just be like, no, Gabby, it's terrible. I don't want to

spend another night here. And they're all happy when I leave. Anybody probably I know that's kind of the expectation with my family as they they'll know because I'm so particular about basically everything, but for them as well, like I want everything to be set up a certain way for them, and like how I would conduct myself on their behalf, so that way, when I go to their homes, they're always on high alert, like what what is going to

make him comfortable? What do we need to do? But I feel like that's a nice way to operate for people, Like I don't want it to be stressful, but they'll know. I'll go get a hotel if I'm not going to be comfortable there. I don't want to pretend right right, right, right right and be like, oh this is O. Yeah, I'm fine using a bathroom that doesn't have any toilet paper.

That's something you do in your early twenties. That's like people a guy specifically where they go on these trips to Palm Springs and it's you know, a five or six bedroom house and they will have twenty fucking people staying there. Because the guys that go to Palm Springs, nothing is worse to me than Palm Springs, the desert, Like we need to get hotter than what it already

is here. It's fucking hot already, and it's dry. I don't understand the appeal of going to don't sign me up for palm Springs and we're not going to sign you up for camping. Excuse me, I have to clear my throat because I've I've probably smoked too much pot recently. You smoked a joint on the way here, as a matter of fact, Well that's what I'm talking about. And you're wearing a cream jumpsuit and you asked all over yourself. Yeah, it was a hot mess on the way in this morning. Actually.

But it's so fun to be able to go to work together, sweetheart, because we have just one more activity that we did sometimes after we take this podcast, we go rollerblading. Our schedule, yes, has really fallen into place. So it's like we're a couple that works together, that's home together because you come in the mornings and then goes to work together. It's just like Dr Phil and his wife. So we've been doing the podcast and then going rollerblading, and we're trying to see how far we

can go. We're so we're starting in Santa Monica. We want to get down to like Manhattan Beach, so we're pacing ourselves and then we will circle back and we'll go to Blue Plate Taco or Blue Plate Oysterette and have a little lunch and margarita, have a couple of margarita's. It's really the best way to work. I mean it's great. I love a juice boost, you know, like eleven thirty, just a margarita, just to like kick things up a little bit so that you have a little bit more

interest in the next three hours. Well, and it also that is when your creative juices get flowing, once you get through your first margarita, because we've also been working, You've been working on your stand up notes. Yeah, I'm doing a lot of stand up dates, so you have to look for those. And that's when you really get going, is after that first margarita sets in, the second one has been delivered, and yeah, I like a to margarita lunch.

That's what I'm into, especially when they can make them frozen, the skinny ones frozen. Oh my god. It reminds me of like one of those vacations where there's like just mango margarita is coming towards you on the beach. You know, like Bora bora where they hand you like a passion fruit margarita, frienzen margarita, who I love margarita's. People don't understand, like when I've gone skiing and we do lunch, that I always want a margarita. Don't you want something warm

and coffee? People don't know what they're talking about. When it's hot out. Just because it's cold out doesn't means you need something hot to drink, Like people are still drinking are you? Are you three months old? I mean, come on, regulate your body temperature. Margaritas are refreshing because you're exerting energy when you're skiing, and so it's like you're thirsty. I will say, when we're skiing together, we'll get out, we'll stop for coffee or something after I

don't know who you're talking. We'll stop and have a drink or get something, and then like we'll do lunch. Well, Sophia will get a hot chocolate and a cookie normally, yeah, but a coffee. No one's getting coffee. Well, we get something in the morning, and then for lunch, it'll be a long lunch and by that time someone will have already passed edibles. Out, So you really have to be on your game after lunch because you're a little runk

and you're probably stoned. Well you know, yeah, you don't want to be drunk skiing first of all, that's irresponsible. You want to have a nice buzz. You want to have a buzz so that you're a little braver, not a little bit more reckless. That's when I feel like I can tackle me well, and I have. We've were ended each other in Central Park, not yet, but I think it's on the docket. It will happen at some point. God, that would be so no, No, that would be terrible.

That would be a great twist and that would be a deal breaker and relations. That would be something Connie Britton could play on Bravo. Oh god, I saw Connie the other night. I had dinner with the Connie and a couple of other girlfriends. As the woman that that was duped by dear John. I was like, listen, are you over playing her? No, she's underplaying it. And it's fascinating, like there's just social incompetency or a regular incompetency technological well,

I have tacked in loud a col incompetence. So that's what you try though, Well, I think that's part of it. So annoying. Technology is so annoying. The fact that I have five remotes in my bedroom is like so annoying. I want to shove all of them up your asp I know you do, and then they all control different things. We have the fireplace, her nightstand, lamps. We have three

remotes for the TVs. Right now, I have to the remote for the lights is the lamps is over the top because I would like to keep going to turn it on when I'm reading. So that would be nice if you could rewire that, sweetheart, Well I just did that, so you don't have to get up out of bed to turn them both on or off. I spent a lot of time in bed, you guys readjusting to l A life has taken its toll. It's like she's a narcaptic. I know she will fall asleep. She fell asleep in

her eyeshades at three pm this week. I went upstairs. I was literally calling to her as a sweetheart. Sweet her up the stairs and she was passed out, no movement. No, that was it because the TV didn't work. You don't smoke cigarettes, because if you did I sound like I do today there because I can't stop clearing my throat. I want to apologize to a list knows how annoying is that, so I won't smoke a joint again on

the way to do a pie. Yes, I am okay, Well I may have forgotten it this morning, but you know check. Also, I am on tour. My tickets are officially on sale. We've added a couple of extra shows, and we are adding a Canadian date that I can't announce yet because we're gonna announce it July thirteen. So for my Canadian brothers and sisters who are reaching out to me just now that I'm headed there, it's just we're gonna be announcing dates as we go. But you

can buy tickets a ticket Master for my shows. I'll be playing my next big show. I'm at the Santa Barbara Bowl August one, so you can come see me there. I'm warming up this new act, this new one hour stand up at a bunch of clubs. So there are still tickets at one of the clubs in Appleton, Wisconsin for the ten pm show, which is on September. So if you live in that area, there are about I don't know how many tickets there are left, but there

are some. And then I have all the other cities that I have already released, and tickets are available, and I can't fucking wait. It's called vaccinated and a horny, So make sure that you bring your vaccinations and your horny nous and then keep them to yourself, please. And on that note, I am feeling so horny that we need to take a break so I can just climb. I can't even pretend that I would do something like that in a podcast studio. We're going to take a break.

Should we take some calls? Okay? Our first submission comes from well, we don't know their name, but they're twenty four and they write, Dear Chelsea, I'm a twenty four year old music student at Juilliard. Should I keep hooking up with my friend who is in an open long distance relationship with a girl who is a sexual. There's a lot to unpack here. Okay, what do you think is he on the phone? No? This this was just

a write and I imagine because it's nature. Read that again, Dear Chelsea, I'm a twenty four year old music student at Juilliard. Should I keep hooking up with my friend who is in an open long distance relationship with a girl who is a sexual. I don't see why not. I mean, this seems like a home run opportunity unless you're getting emotionally involved. But other than that, yeah, go for it. Yeah, open relationship, that's the green. What pops up or pops down? Pops off? See what pops off?

And thank you for writing in. We don't know your name, so we'll just call you Lucifer. I guess, so you have our seal of approval. Good luck on that. Let us know how it goes. That was mind blowing. I mean anything of a certain age, So like that age, I'm glad I'm not so drunk all the time. Well, can you imagine having to deal with everything that people that age are going through right now, like the political correctness of the genders and everything, Like we're all trying

to keep up with it. But the younger generation gender fluid, a sexual, like, who the fun knows what's going on there? I don't know they know because it's that they live it. We're the ones that have to keep up because it's not like what we grew up with. So we're the ones who were like, I have to understand it. They understand it, so it's not you know, I think it's

easier for them. You know, this is also probably much more of a norm now for people that age so twenty four, like being in an open relationship and the different types of sexualities. A sexual, I think that means that they're not sexually interested in anyone or anything. So I don't know even know why they're being a relationship with someone who's a sexual because it's like us, it's

an emotional attachment. Yeah, well, but would you describe our relationship as a sexual, Well, not with how often I try and see you naked? Well, yeah, you do walk in on me and I get a lot, but that's just because I don't have a door to my bathroom. That's probably what I should be doing since I've been

so bored. I should pick up one of those hobbies where I'm like, you know, I'm Pinterest making a little like furnitured boards of what I want my house to look like, something like that when you went up to Canada because you had quarantine for two weeks, and you asked if you should start online shopping, And I don't think i've ever I've ever been more worried about it. What am I gonna do for the quarantine? I mean, I'll read, but there's only so many hours a day

you can read a book, you know. I can't read for eight hours. I was like, what should I do? Should I take up online shopping? Do you think I'd like that? That's gonna be a hard No, I know, but I don't want to get involved with anything like that. Lucky for me, you get through one page and forget what you were doing exactly. I would be like, yeah,

what am I doing on this side again? Okay? So our next submission comes from Julian from the UK, and Julian writes, Dear Chelsea, I've always loved your honesty, integrity, and how genuine you are. My question, what would your advice be to anyone who's feeling lost in life or unsure about themselves and their direction? This seems to be a common theme. Everyone's going through it. So let's see what's going on, Julian, Julian, are you there? Hi? Yes?

How are you? Oh? Hi? Julian, Hi, Julian, Hi, How are you guys? We're good? How are you doing? How's how's how's COVID doing over in London. Oh yeah, it's going really well. Yeah, it's it's okay. I think we're on our way out hopefully sur surviving for sure. Yeah, how about you guys. Yeah, well it's going well in l A right now. But you know, every time you think you're out of the woods, there seems to be another go round of it. So who who knows? Who knows?

You're cute? Thank you? Likewise, thank you? Well, what's going on? What is going on? Lots of things? So um, I guess the basis of my question kind of stemmed from my personal experiences and circumstances over the last few years, which were kind of in relation to my career, relationships, friendships,

mental health and so on. However, I guess on the flip side of that, I think there's a lot of people who are going through the same thing as me at the moment, So I thought it would be good to get your advice on on the situation and see if you could help me and so many other people to to kind of help get contract after such a difficult year and with everything that's been going on, Right, Brandon, would you like to take the lead on this, Well, I just wonder if there's a specific Like you listed

off some categories in life, like is there a specific Is there a specific one that you feel like you're having the most trouble kind of confronting or getting like getting over that hurdle. Well, sadly, for me, it all happened at the same time. But if I was to pick one, I guess mental health is really important to me, and I know something I was struggled with for for a number of years. So in terms of feeling kind of lost and unsure, I guess I deal with depression.

So for me, it's quite difficult when there are circumstances going on that you can't really control, you know, how do you kind of get through that? And what would your advice be to to kind of keep going and get yourself back to a good place. I mean, I would focus on what are the good things that are happening in your life, like what's going on with your job, your family? Do you have a boyfriend, girlfriend? Um, not pregnant, no, currently single. Happily, I'm quite blessed. I've got a great

family and friends. But my circumstances previously, UM, I lost a lot of people quite close to me. And when I say lost, I mean they're still with us, just not with me thankfully. And my career, you know, I changed my job, I had to really change my whole life, and then COVID happens. So it's just kind of been one thing after another and you feel like you can't catch break. Well. I just think, first of all, it's not like you're loaning this. Obviously, half the world is

feeling this way. More than half the world. More than half the world feels like they've lost something right this last year has it's like you're on a constant treasure hunt for like the next glimpse of happiness or the next positive thing to happen, because every time it seems like we're it's on the horizon, like Chelsea said, something happens.

But I think that in those moments, it's really important to have something, a hobby and outlet that when you're down or depressed or in that sort of emotional state where it's kind of hard to dig yourself out, you have to have something that you can implement, And also you don't want to be a victim of your circumstances.

Then you're like letting the world run you and you're not running anything, so like being even you like you know it's been so hard on you, of course, yeah, but like what are you gonna do with this opportunity now? You know, don't be a victim. We don't none of us want to be that, because that's just like graveling. You know, you have to go. God, Yeah, this was

fucking tough. And if I survive this, I can survive so much more and kind of pick yourself up and start with all the good things you have going on in your life. Reminding yourself every morning when you get up, you know how lucky you are to be where you are, regardless of what happened in the past. What's happening right now is you having to be like in your life getting things kick started again, which is the way so many people feel. So you've got to get your juices flowing.

And I think that Chelsea is obviously a big believer in meditation. And I try and do it consistently, and you know, I fail. I try, and I do it in the morning. Now. I used to do it midday and I got to meditate this morning actually, and I usually do it first thing when I get up, but lately my meditations have been so lame that I'm just like, but it really does set your day on a better path.

So I kind of used it as a coping mechanism where if I was stressed, I would text her and say, hey, I'm taking tendons outside whatever as a coping mechanism for working for me, for associated with it, but trying to start your day off in the way that she mentioned, either kind of giving yourself the affirmations of the positive things or the little goals that you're going to have, Because when you feel those little successes, I think everything

else feels a little less detrimental. Yeah, and every day should be like an adventure, you know, when you're getting up in the morning, it's not it's not like you have to write affirmations or yeah, you could write down in a thing like you know, three things you're grateful for that way you're getting out of bed with like some juices going, like some positive vibes. I think that everyone's problem is just to have more positive vibes, right, Like everyone can work harder to take the negative and

turn it around and make it positive. Well, it's so much work to be negative all the time, you know, it'sou draining, I know, Julie. I will say the way that you kind of recounted the people not being in your life is a positive thing, Like you obviously have a positive disposition, like your recounting, Well, I haven't. Yeah, that's the word I don't is And I like the way you used it. I was sexually attracted to just

then we have that dynamic. So I think just implementing more of that that you you know, the people who were baggage and not contributing anything, they're no longer there, and you know, that's a positive thing. There's always a way to spin the circumstance in a positive direction. And the more you do that, it's going to feel like less work. Yeah, definitely, well said Brandon. Yeah, I would agree with that. You seem really cool, Like, yeah, I think you're gonna be just fine. Thank you. I hope.

I wish I could prescribe medication overseas. I would prescribe you something fun, but I can. I only work here in the United States. I'm sure I can find something here. Okay, good? Yeah, do you smoke cod and do you drink? Like? Do you have fun? Well? That's good, I mean you have to at this point. But I know right like, this isn't the time to be sober or even experiment with

sobriety exactly. No, I don't have time for that. So the first two weeks of the pandemic, like when we were quarantining for our first two weeks, which we thought would be our only two weeks, I treated it like it was spring break. Like I did mushrooms every day. I was like, Okay, what drugs do I have today? She was like an amust child on rum spring up. I mean, she was like anything that she could get up to she was. She's like, I only have this two weeks. Yeah, nothing, I can't leave my house. It

doesn't matter what happens. Like, I'm just gonna I had like a hundred milligram THHC capsules that I was taking. I tried those out. I was like, let's see what happens. And then when I realized it was going to go on for more than two weeks, I was like, oh, ship like and then zooms became, you know, the like the big thing. I was like, Oh, I'm gonna have to get my ship together. That was the word. I definitely killed off some brain cells during those two weeks.

For sure, those two weeks were the best for both of us because no one knew how to work, and I was just dropping off egg mcmuffins McDonald's eg mcmuffins. He put in my freezer and freezer pack them for me because that's my favorite thing to have. I'm like, if the apocalypse is coming and everything shutting down, I need her to go out on a high note, literally high with McMuffin. Yeah. Anyway, stay away from egg mcmuffins because, as you'll know, I'm sure they cause damage and you

don't need that in your life right now. No other unsolicited life advice. Take care of Julian. Thank you so much, guys appreciate it. He was one of my favorite callers. He was so likable. It's some of these people that are really likable that just needed to kind of recalibrate their thinking. Yeah. I think a lot of people also don't laugh a lot. I think that's a thing because, like, when I've gone through periods without laughing, I notice it.

I'm like, why aren't I laughing? Like when I'm not making you know, I'm like being too serious or I'm like, you know whatever. People in their heads, taking things too seriously, taking things too serious, and nothing's that serious like my And this is actually a piece of advice that I gave you. Way to toot your own horn. Well, one of the first times I ever did it, I remember being so uncomfortable trying to like, you know, open up personally.

And you were really upset about something. I can't remember what it was, and basically it probably was. And my aunt always would ask me, is it really worth being mad over? If I called her with an issue or if I was upset about something? And the answer is almost always know, like when you're really face to answer that. And so I did that to you one day. You were upset about something, but you have to put it

in perspective is it really worth being mad over? And you totally changed your outlook like, actually, no it's not. So let's just like correct it and move on. Yeah, it's so lame to be in a bad mood. Also, you know, it's like just so not hot. It doesn't do anything for anyone. Well, no, no, it doesn't. It's not like anyone get Yeah, well, let's see how this next color is. Her name is Lacy. She's from California. She is a child sleep therapist, or maybe she can

help you. Spee hard and Adula. We need to put two birds with one stone. I can have a baby and sleep through the night. If you could sleep through having the baby. Oh well, I would rather sleep after the baby is born. I would rather sleep through that. Well, my bell will be taking over at that point, so will though I really be taking over at that point. She writes, Dear Chelsea, I would like your advice. My girlfriend and I plan to spend our future together and

that means we would like to get married. However, with both of us being lesbians, feminine lesbians, we don't really know how to propose. I personally would like to be proposed to. However, she also wants to be proposed to. How would you suggest we go about this? Any ideas? This is a quick fix. She's on the phone. Okay, let's see what's going on. Hi, Lacy Chelsea. You're a feminine lesbian. I could see thank you? Yes, Okay. How long have you guys been together? We met seven months

ago in the height of the pandemic. Well that was good. I'm glad you guys were being safe during the pandemic. Hooking up exactly. And how's it been going. I mean seven months, that's like, okay, so you know you both know and committed. Yes, yes, when you know, you know. But I mean to put it simple, we met at the beach in Santa Monica, and the rest is history. So there's a lot going on with the circumstances of your meeting being at a beach during the pandemic. But

I'll support that's good. They were outside, that's safe. That's one thing. We need to take you to the beach to try and find you somebody. Yeah, six ft apart, Yeah, six ft apart. They were just, you know, finger blasting each other six ft apart exactly. Yeah, Chelsea. I think what you guys are like, you know, a modern couple.

I think you should just if you want to be proposed to and she wants to be proposed to, I think you should have a conversation and say, listen, I'm going to propose to you, and I want you to propose to me, and let's plan on doing that together. I mean, because otherwise one person is going to do it and then the other person is going to be let down right well correct, But that's the conversation we've already had. Oh yeah it oh it is mean. Yes, So we need a good idea, Chelsea, like an idea

for the double proposal. But are you going to be proposing at the same time or rule one of you propose at a certain time and the other person. See, that's what I would do. That's my question, you guys, that's a logistical that's a logistical question. And sweetheart knows that. Sweetheart it does not know anything about logistics. This is also that's your department. This is a calm and problem with gay couples. And this is something you can ask, like who pays for dinner when you're both men? Are

both women? And the same thing for proposing? How do you know who proposes to one another? Sometimes there's a more dominant person in the relationship. Are you the more dominant one? Well, that is a good question. I think it's pretty equal. That's why I'm having a hard time with this. So what so what about you just going for it and proposing like on your own and then I could do that and then letting her just figure out her own thing. So I do it first? Yeah,

like you want to do it? Like, yeah, that's kind of it's kind of hot to do it first anyway, right, Yeah, yeah, it could be except for the possible repercussions of that of the girlfriend being pissed. So what you don't understand Did you agree? Did you agree with you agree that you won't both wanted to be proposed to, but you didn't agree that it had to happen on this at the same time. Did they okay? Because I'm like, miracle ear, we should do an ad for miracle ear because I

was like, did I fucking miss something? Oh yeah, no, I think you should. Then you should just go for it. Just proposed to her and do it and like be like I wanted to do it my way and I want you to do it your way, and that way it gives her the room to, you know, still do it right. It's exciting. Congratulations. I'm so happy that you've found somebody that you love this much like I would love to find somebody that I was that excited about. Maybe you will keep telling you to become a late

in life lesbian. Everyone Everyone is becoming lesbians. Everyone something, Well, no, they are because they're sucking over men. They're like, oh this is you. Guys are so disappointing over and over and over again, that we're just gonna start going down on women. That's what a lot of women are doing. And I might you're right, who knows, you know what, I probably will end up being a lesbian Okay, I know. I just I'm like, I like men. I'm attracted to

men in a big way. I'm losing my attraction to that slowly over time, but I keep thinking that there's gonna be some guy out there that I'm just going to be really into, possibly or up, and we'll take you to the beach and we'll find you your lesbian lover. Okay. My last piece of advice on this, maybe you set a time line or a time frame that you if you do it first, then she has, you know, three months to plan her thing and do it that way, so that way you don't feel like you both don't

know when it's happening. Or maybe you set a certain amount of time that you both agree on of when the first person is allowed to or pull a fucking straw, so you know, like then it's fair who who gets to propose first. But I definitely think I definitely think you each setting up your own proposal so you can do it your way, based on what you know the other person would appreciate is going to be the best experience for you both. So you're saying, whoever does it first.

I'm saying that there's I think she should just propose, like, just go for it and fucking do it already. Okay, yeah, be bold. I think that's my advice. Let us know how it turns out. Who who ends up proposing? Yeah, sweetheart, Okay, yeah, I'm going to talk to my sweetheart now because I'm you know, that was a confused We have to work in concert. Well, we have different perspectives on this because as a gay man, this is a struggle that we all face. Okay, you're never going to face that. You

don't need to hear this part of the conversation. We're going to say goodbye, Lacey, thank you, have a great day. Bye bye, sweetheart. Stop exposing everybody to our dysfunctional sweetheart. I look like Nick Nalty. I think your face looks great, looks very You look very glowy today, do I? Yeah? Did you use that empathy product? Yeah? Yeah, I use that new hempathy product, and I was testing it out to see if I like it on so far, I do. I hope more people right in with cosmetic related questions

because that's my favorite topic. I know you love to do you love to take care of your skin anything, facials and any sort of Yeah, a roma therapy or you into a roma therapy. No, not so much into that, but my candle therapy. Aroma therapy just like smells, but it always smells like ship. My favorite is when you think that I've had botox and I have it. Yeah, your forehead looks like you've had a lot of botox,

and now, oh that's weird mobility. So you have a little bit one of those like what are those cavemen from the early times? What are they called? Chocolate? Chocolate chocolate? No, I'm not thinking of that, but yeah, pro magnum chromagnum. Yeah, you look a little bit chro magnum. Then with your it's where like it's a little cave man asked, It's like where there you were, it's very full right here

in the brow. Yeah yeah. And then with your middle part, like you look like you could be, you know, half a palf man I'm missing, like you could you could have come from that line of you know, well we all did, so I imagine there's gonna be not very smooth, but well, but anyway, it's good to know that cave men, we're getting botox. Also, it started somewhere this would be a perfect time to insert our botox commercial. We're just dishing out this advice today and I feel like we're

getting through them very quickly. I love our callers are so none of them are annoying, you know. I mean, obviously somebody will be, but that's everyone's so cool one for sure. Oh yeah, yeah, I know, for sure. I'm I'm waiting. Well. Our next mission was actually a voice memo submitted by Tina, and so if you would like to send a voicemamil, you can do that as well. You can send it to Dear Chelsea project at gmail dot com if you don't have the time to call in and send us a voice momo. I love a

voice mamo. Let's listen to what she has to say. Dear Chelsea, I need your advice and whether to remove my tattoos completely off my body since they suck, or repair the current ones to look cooler instead of the piece of ship I have. Yes, I shouldn't have done it to begin with, but the damage has been done and removing them is very painful, with numerous appointments and money. But I'll do it if you pay and film the

horror promise. You're lesbian tattoo friend Tina. Why if I have to pay for her to get her tattoos removed and then film it repaired. I love that you gave me two options, removed or repaired. I personally just I'm not a fan of tattoos. No, I'm a Jew, so it's like, it's not that I follow anything else, like at anything about religion about my own other than trying to be a good person. You can't be buried in a Jewish cemetery if you have tattoos. I am not

going to be wanting to be buried anyway. Sweet. Actually, that's that's conversation we need to have. Yeah, I want to be cremated, and you can just throw me in the garbage. I do not want to be cremated on the record. Do not cremate me. You mean for the record, for the record and on the record, Okay, do not under any circumstance. I want to be buried because I want to be brought back. I want there to be some DNA left. You're being ridiculous. I looked up being

cry genically frozen. There's a company in Arizona. Okay. So how much does it cost? I don't know, but you have to have somebody handled the account. That's like forty years young. I think it's a hundred and fifty thousand. But there are two different options. You can just have your head crygenically frozen, in which case they would like implant your brain into another body and then come back. Possibly you come back a hundred years later. Yes, I

don't know about that. That would be really scary. I got a tattoo while you were way and I posted about it while I was in my tattoo session, and you deemed me immediately about the tattoo. Were you disappointed that I had gotten a time? I just was surprised. Well, this is something else to know. More life advice is sometimes your body refuses the ink, which mine has done. Well, there you go, so it has now faded into Basically, maybe maybe I got had the ink disappear with my

power of thought. You probably did out your tattoo. You wanted my body to let go of the ink, letting go, letting go. That's a book everyone should read. You've given it away to multiple people. Oh yeah, that's a great book by David Hawkins. I read it like three times when I was in Whistler. It's really good. So did we she on her own? I mean, what are you thinking? Uh, Tina, Yeah, it's not a decision for us to make. I'm not

going to pay for your tattoo removal. I can't start paying for things when people ask and right in because then that's what the show would be and I'd have to do much more than a podcast to sustain it. But it's a decision you're going to need to make, Sister, on your own, without our help. You got yourself into this mess, Now touch yourself out of it. Goodbye, Tina. Okay, it sounds like it's time for a breaky breaky, breaky breaky. We'll be right back. Okay, Well, there was definitely abroad.

It seems like we didn't do very much heavy lifting today, sweetheart. Let's be honest. No, but those will come. Do you think if you weren't a comedian that you would want to do something with counseling or like, no, if I weren't a comedian, what I would want to do is get paid to watch television and sit on my maybe psychology, I don't know, and it would have to involve travel and sociology. Maybe sociology, anthropology. It's never too late to

become an anthropologist, Brendan, There's always an option. Would you ever go to college? Did you ever actually enroll if we were filming it for like, you know, a documentary series or something. Yeah, we've talked about toing that before.

We just haven't gotten around to it. Because but I would Yeah, I'm interested in learning, and I'm also would be interested in getting swept up in the social aspects of college, just because I would just I would totally go, like, you know, join a sorority, become the president and tell all these girls like how to fucking you know, keep everyone in line and like be bosses. I would love So I would love to have that influence over a bunch of eighteen year old girls, Are you kidding me?

Like they would be fucking cunts by the time I got done with them, they'd be ready to attack. So yeah, I could see myself doing that. I don't remember what happened with that. We were talking about it, but then we never really got into it, so we'll we'll revisit. Put that on your notes section. I will bring up I will, I will, I will thank you. Yeah, lightload today, lightlift, but we'll see what happens next week. Do you feel like that you have the qualifications to continue advising people

at this level? I mean, I don't know that I'm qualified. I'm going to keep doing it right, and that's the important thing. I'm no quitter, right, and quitters never win. Good Night. If you want any assistance with your partner, your best friend, really, anything, you can write into Dear Chelsea Project at gmail dot com. Dear Chelsea Project at gmail dot com.