TMI with Martha Stewart

and you can track your steps. And we rented city bikes yesterday and we drove all the way while we rode, not drove. I hate when people say they drove a bike. We rode all the way up to Central Park, all the way around Central Park. We first we got our little bagel because we've been trying at different bagel places all over the city so far. Yeah, I do, but I don't know what it's called. So that's helpful. And

we rode our bikes up. We got a bagel, cream cheese and locks and the whole thing, and then we go. We drove a road through Central Park, stopped at one of these little pools ponds. It was more like an algae pond, but it was pretty We ate our bagel. Then we rode our bikes all the way down the West Side Highway to our favorite little restaurant, Grand Banks, where we sit on a boat and we had like a strawberry mohito, and then we rode our bikes all the way back up town and it was just glorious.

I mean, New York City is just so much fun, especially when you don't live here, like it's always a vacation. And Joe has started a laundrymat in our hotel room, so he does laundry pretty much from I wake up and the dryers going every morning, so he can must wake up in the middle of the night and then put another load. And so you guys, actually you have a washer in our hotel room and it's more like

an apartment than a hotel room. That we read and he does our laundry and then I hear the washing machine. He does laundry constantly, and then he irons it all and then he does it again. He starts again, and if everything's clean, but it's everything's a mess, like everything's shrunk or tight eyed. So the other day I got a jumpsuit out of the dryer and it just had chocolate stains everywhere, And I was like, what the funk is this? Is this like a tight eye situation that

you're trying out, like what he goes to hunting? That would it must have been something in your pocket, like a piece of chocolate, which is so me, you know, to have like a chocolate nutcluster left over in my pocket, Like so my modeled so gross. Yeah, so one of my jumpsuits was ruined, and one of my sweatpants, a pair of sweatpants was also ruined, and that one had a big chocolate stain right on the asshole. So I

could definitely not wear that one. And so I told him to put a pin in his laundromat and learn how to fucking do laundry before continuing. And then he told me that that's racial profiling because all Chinese people run laundromats. And I said, but you're not Chinese, So what how is that racial profile? You're Filipino? He said, you know what I'm talking about. I mean, I was

going to ask if you said that he irons. I feel like it's a known thing that white people don't iron their clothes enough, like I am currently wearing an unroned color. That's funny. Well, that would make sense. And my privilege, like we don't even think we have to iron our clothes. We could just go out looking like schleps. I don't have to say at least my husband is one man who I told him at the beginning of our marriage, I will never iron your shirts if you

would like them iron, he died, Well, this isn't the fifties. Yeah, I mean, nobody should be ironing anything for anybody else. Unless Joe wants to continue iron name my things, that's fine. But I would appreciate him taking out the laundry part, because he's ruined a couple of my jumpsuits now, either by shrinking them like they're too you know, some of them you're not supposed to watch, just supposed to dry clean.

But I did send like three of my jumpsuits down to dry clean at the hotel that we stay at, and I have to say, I got back and I just caught the number out of the corner of my eye, and I said, what is It was five hundred and eighty six dollars to dry clean three jumpsuits, And I was like, you guys, that's not right. Even I know that's not right. One of my girlfriends, she lives in West Hollywood. I'm sure she was getting a stun in

Beverly Hills. She said she took several sweaters and two blankets that you need to dry clean to a dry cleaner's. She got the bell, went to pick it up. It was sixteen hundred dollars. I was like, where are you taking? She goes, oh, with such if your dry cleaner has a name and it's not just dry cleaner, then you should not be taking, especially your blankets. There blanket, I didn't know you could dry clean. I guess that makes sense dry clean blanket grant comforters and yeah, yeah, I

don't know. I'm just glad that I don't. I you know, laundry feels good when it's done, because we've been on the road now for like three weeks, the both of us, and we have so much accumulation of dirty stuff. So it does feel good to have it clean. But it doesn't feel good when it's all different colors and different lens. When you get it out, you can never wear it again. Yeah, so you know, there you go, there you have it. That's the crux of our That's what our relationship is

about currently dry cleaning or laundry. Sorry, okay, everybody. Here are my up ming stand up dates. I'll be at the Just for Last Comedy Festival in Montreal July, hosting a gala Gala also pronounced as Gala. I am in Vancouver August twelve, two shows in Vancouver. I'm in Calgary Saturday,

August thirteen and Sunday August fourteen. That's Calgary. And then I have tons of dates coming up in the fall, starting with Saratoga, California, Niagara Falls, Long Beach, California, Bakersfield, California, Pasa Roblais, California, Wheatland, California, and lots of places in Florida, Tampa, Fort Myers, Daytona Beach, Hollywood, Florida, and the list goes on and on. Oh in San Diego and Riverside, California. So lots of dates in California and Tucson, Colorado Springs. Anyway,

go to Chelsea Handler dot com for your tickets. I will see you guys all there. These will be the final dates of my Vaccinated and Horny tour, and I can't wait to see all of you in person. Now that everybody well most people are vaccinated and officially horny. That's with three at the end, Katherine, just in case you didn't know how to spell horny. Perfect. Okay, So today we have somebody on who is very You'll know her when you hear her. Her website is called Martha

dot com. The Bedford by Martha Stewart is her new immersive restaurant in Vegas. Have you heard of that yet? An immersive restaurant. She's got CBD, she's got a CBD line, she has nineteen crimes, Martha's Chardonnay, and her name is Martha Stewart. She's the founder of Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia. It's the dream to have an omnimedia Martha. Welcome to the show. Hi, It's always such a delight to see you. Well, I'm so happy that you're here in my office and

that we can talk. You know, we've never really just talked. Yes, we've interacted before. We've had some social media interaction. We bumped into each other most recently at Jimmy Fallon show. That was so fun, but I think it was seth Meyers though, oh you know what it was, Seth Meyers. It's so hard to keep all these men straight, Isn't it very hard because you do get mixed up. Late night is late night, and there's like at least three or four of them that you have to keep track of. Yeah,

you know, and I was just your favorite. Oh god, don't ask to ask me that. I would have to say Jimmy Fallon just because I do his show the most often, so I would say that, you know, he's a real sweetheart. I like all of them. Is so hard. I missed David Litterman the most. Well, you guys had a nice report, and we we worked together a long time. And now I think I've appeared on Seth Meyers more than any other guests. That was a record for a while.

And now I don't know. I think I like Stephen Colbert. Do you do that show? Oh yeah, I've done it, but I don't regularly. I did Fallon more regularly. He's a little more difficult, Yeah, but he's really smart. But Letterman was difficult. No, No, I know Letterman had a nice relationship. And did you guys have a relationship off screen?

I wish yeah, Well, because a lot of you know, I was reading this Joan Rivers book because I was I recently inducted her into the Comedy Hall of Fame for Netflix, and I was reading a Joan Rivers book and she was talking about her dynamic with Johnny Carson. Did you ever do Johnny Carson show? Yes, yeah, that was That was a hard show to do, That's what she said, because everyone thought they had this great relationship, but it was only for on camera. There was nothing

going on off camera. Did you Joan Rivers have any affairs with anybody? Um, not that she spoke about in the book, But I mean, I guess, you know, she seemed to be like a person under herself. But I don't mean narcissism or anything like that. Just she was just so powerful, like her presence was so strong that it would be hard to tell anybody else. But I think she did. I think I wouldn't. I think I eated her house once, and I think there was a

man around. Well, that's good to know, speaking of men. What's going on in your love life these days? Nothing. I had two mad crushes in the last month, which is really good for me. Yeah, it turns out, you know, one of them is married to the mother of some friends of mine, and and I just he's so attractive, but you don't you can't be a home record. No I'm not. I've never been a home record, never, and

I've tried really hard not to be. It's hard to have had the opportunity record and I have not taken anybody up on it. And that's really where that's where I meet men. They're all they're all marriage to friends of mine or something like that. Well, it's very difficult because I think there are certain ages we go through where it's very tempting because you want to believe that, oh, maybe this relationship that they're in is temporary, or maybe

they'll die. I always think, oh, gosh, couldn't that person just die the wife you're not not painfully just die and then But it hasn't worked out. No, it hasn't worked out. But what I would say, I mean, I find it curious because when was your when was your last relationship? A while ago, not too long ago. But while I go, Okay, so it's not that far in the distance, right, so like a hundred years or well,

we know you're not a hundred years old. To Martha nobody thinks that, and it speaking of you have a lot of years ahead of you. But I would like to know what, youth, what what do you think is the most important thing in terms of legacy and leaving behind? What is the thing that's most important for you to be known for? Um, I would like to leave and I think I am in the process of leaving a

vast library of good, authentic information for good living. That's really It sounds kind of high minded and blah blah blah, but it's actually a serious thing. You know, growing up, I had the joy of cooking, and I had maybe the better homes and Gardens house of a book of household management. But I didn't have the Martha Stewart books which are so phenomenally useful, and I didn't have the ideas and the videos that we've created and produced over

the years. So so leaving that kind of legacy of really good education, but also with a with a flair for forliness and joyfulness and beauty, because I think we what we do is pretty beautiful and all that information we've created, that's a that's a good legacy. And did you know when you were a little girl that this is what you were going to be doing when you grew up. No, Actually, I always wanted to be a teacher. I was brought up loving my teachers. I was encouraged

to be a teacher to help little kids. I was always doing the birthday parties and creating all kinds of interesting things for the children to do, even when I was a child. That started when I was about ten. So teaching was always ingrained in me as a very high minded profession, and that I could do it to millions of people via television and via the Internet and via magazines and books. That really has been fantastic. Yeah, yeah, I mean it's really Could you have ever imagined that

you would have such an empire like this? I don't. I don't think like that. I just think that. And I just worked day to day and build and build and try to try to fix and build and fix and repair and build and create. That's how I go. And what do you think the most influential relationships have been in your life that have contributed to your sense of self and your sense of success. Well, first of all, I guess it was my parents, and I had a

nice relationship with both parents. I was my father's favorite which didn't make me happy all the time, because I don't think parents should have favorites. How many children six the same as you? Yeah, what number are you? I am number two? You were the baby, I'm number six. Well, you're spoiled brat, and you got what you wanted, probably exactly, but I got nothing that I wanted. I had to work for every single Number two is a pretty hard position to be, except that I got my father's attention

and none of the other kids did. He somehow fixated on me, so and he and I were really good friends, and I felt uncomfortable sometimes because I was he liked me better than the other kids, and everybody knew it. Yeah, they pretty much knew it, and I'm sure they held it against me, and they probably still do. But my mother was the egalitarian and she was great. She had no favorites at all, and that kind of irked some of the kids, but she was everyone was equal, everyone

got the share. You know. When my mother died, it was so amazing. Her will was down to the penny divided amongst the six children, you know, kind of nice. Well, I think that's what a mother is meant to do, is to love all of her children equally, because if you ask any woman who their favorite child is, they all say, oh, that's impossible. And if you ask any man, their questions start to vary and they'll say things like whoever needs me the most. You know, men love to

be needed. So how how does your relationship with your siblings? Do they still feel that way? Do they still make fun of the fact that you were the favorite? Well, no, because we're I mean, my two closest siblings died unexpectedly. The two youngest children died and um not not after they were married and after they both had children, and they just died from stupidity. I think I think they were very careless about their health, so they did not have to die. That's my theory, and I think it's

their children's theory also. So they've missed out on the grandchildren, and they've missed out on the success of the of their own children. It's it's sad, but they were they were my favorites, my brother George and my sister Laura. And Laura worked for me for a very long time and George was a builder and he did a lot of projects with me and two fabulous kids, and I'm friends with all their children, you know, nice, nice friends with their children, which is which is important to me.

But the other is my sister Kathy married a man that hated me. So you know, we don't even go there. We try to have a relationship, but not not a very close one. Is this too much information? It's great? And then brother Eric, Brother Eric, he's my older brother and we've always been friends. And he's a fine craftsman and I really admire his artistry and he knows it. And he's older than I am, and he's, you know, complaining a little bit about getting old, and I don't

I don't like that. I don't want him to complain because he's a strong guy. And then we have the brother that that brother, I guess every family has, I know which one you're talking about. I have one of those two have one. Yes. But he had a good reason he went to Vietnam. Oh okay, So he is a very good reason for being the way he was. Yeah, my brother does not have a good reason. He did not go to Vietnam. So I'll have to follow up on that later. Yeah, but I wish my brother would

write a book about his experience in Vietnam. Those guys don't want to write books about their experiences, Yeah, because they don't want to talk or remember it. It's too Yeah, and you know what, it would be so interesting now in retrospect to know what they went through. I mean, Vietnam was a hard war. Yeah, yeah, Vietnam. For our generation, it was Iraq and Afghanistan. And we still haven't even seen the after effects of what those soldiers went through. Right,

And kids don't know anything about war, that's the thing. Well, yeah, and it's happening all over the world. Generation right now doesn't know about war and the effect it has on people. Uh, it's so crazy to me that that they don't know it. And yet Ukraine is happening right now, and and they don't know, they don't understand how devastating it is to a population. Yeah. Seeing those pictures coming out of Mariopole or any of those cities, you're just like, it's the

most senseless act of destruction. The women with their babies crossing borders for food and shelter, and the children carrying their little white kitty cats on their shoulders. Yeah, yeah, it's so horrible. So to pivot, I want to ask you something about your experience. What do you think is one of your favorite things about growing older? Favorite thing? Yeah, I don't have one, Yes, you do, come on, not one because first of all, I don't think about age

or aging. I do not think about it. Uh, some thing's happened to you. You know, you're your foot, you stepping a hole in your rupture your achilles tendant. I did that last year, and that was a stupid thing because it's hurt me for a year. And that that's the least favorite thing is is getting into any kind of pain. Yeah, my favorite thing about getting older is absolutely not one thing. And there you have it, everybody, there's not one favorite thing about getting older. I thought

we would impart some positive wisdom from Martha's store. Not a thing people. Okay, Well, on that note, we're gonna take some callers. I give advice. It's just off the cough. I'm not a medical doctor. You're not a medical doctor unless you are a medical doctor. And I don't know about that. But I know a lot about medicine. Yeah so do I. Actually I love medicine. So Katherine, tell us what we have in store for this episode. While we have all kinds of questions that are right up Martha's.

Ali will take a quick break and we'll be right back with Martha Stewart and Chelsea. Okay, and we're back. And Martha brought some Easter eggs, even though they were just they're not Easter eggs, They're just eggs from her chickens who lay different colored eggs. Yeah, I thought they were Easter eggs, and then upon closer inspection and Martha telling me, I realized they are not Easter eggs. Well,

our first question comes from Heather. She says, Dear Chelsea, knowing how much you and your family love Martha's vineyard and that you go every year, I was hoping you could share some suggestions on where to go and what to do. My husband and are two year old, are joining another couple and they're one year old at the end of July. Staying in Edgartown one of the places we should absolutely visit. And where are the best places

to eat? The more outdoors the better. We can also find some adults only time without the kids stay well, Heather m and I just have to say, Martha, you may already know this, but in researching this question, I learned that a very vast portion of the Internet thinks that you own Martha's vineyard as as By the way, all my nieces and nephews growing up thought it was Aunt Martha's vineyard, and they would say when I'd say I'm going to the vineyard, Aunt Martha's vineyard, they all thought,

not only was it my island, but it was also I had a vineyard on the island, and that's why I stay far away from Martha's vineyard. I don't ever go to Martha's vineyard, so I couldn't offer any advice. That's so that's a brand disruption, and she's got her own thing going on. She doesn't need to be tied to some island exactly. If you're staying in Edgartown, you're

gonna find plenty of things to do. Most places to eat are the quarter Deck, which has like outdoor total vineyard food like fried clams, shride shrimp, cheeseburgers, hot dogs, all that stuff that you can get that's fun for kids. If you go down to the wharf, there's tons of places for kids, little candy stores, lots of shopping all down on edgar Town, up and down Main Street and

around the Harbor View. In hotel is a great place to have a drink and look at the sunset harbor side in and then there's the wharf and everywhere you go around there you'll find places you can't go wrong on Martha's Vineyard. And then you're gonna want to go up island too, to like see the more quiet parts of the vineyard, which is West Tisbury and Tisbury and uh the three main towns are Oak Bluffs, Vineyard Haven and edgar Town. And then up island there's some really pristine,

beautiful beaches like in chill Mark and Menemsha. Those are places you want to go and get a great lobster roll and watch the sunset. Especially it's specifically the beach in Menemsha, so you're gonna have a beautiful time in the summertime. That's my special spot, Martha's Vineyard. It is. Yeah, my family, we had a house. They're growing up. You go, now, Yeah,

we go every summer. You're really knowledgeable about Yeah, I mean I couldn't even I've been going to Maine for like thirty years, and I couldn't tell you all those things about my island. I told you about my experience in Biddeford Pool, right where I ran into the bushes, and then I went over to Kenny Bunkport to the compound and George Bush gave me a tour of all of his artwork and then wouldn't let us leave the house.

We were captured because Barbara Bush wanted us to come over to play pickle ball, and so I brought my whole crew. I had my brothers, my sisters, like ten friends. We went over played pickleball and then I hear the former president go, miss Handler, is that you? And I thought, oh, I can't be seen with this guy after all my political you know, musing said publicly, I'm like, I gotta get out of here. And then he dragged me into his house. He goes, you're not leaving. He goes, come

look at all my artwork. And I had sunglasses on, and he said I need you to take your sunglasses off, and I said, I'm pretty stoned, so I think I'm going to leave them on. And he looked at me and thought I was kidding again, which I wasn't. And then shortly after there we were able to skid attle. But it was actually he's very charming in person. I'm sure, you've you've Yes, I've met him. And when I was in Kenny for two years ago, I actually had dinner

with Barbara's daughter and her husband. We had a very nice dinner. The Bushes were away at that that weekend, so I didn't get to see them, but I just saw George W's wife in Texas, so I went down to give a talk and she was the honoree. So we had a very nice little chat. Yeah, I love Barbara his daughter. Yeah, she's great. So, yes, have a great time in Martha's vineyard and those are the places to hit up wonderful. Well, we have one caller today.

Her name's Sabrina and she says, dear Chelsea, my name is Sabrina and I'm twenty four years old from New Jersey. I came out to myself as queer in twenty nineteen, to my friends and sister in early and then to my parents in the middle of My parents were initially supportive, telling me they would love me quote no matter what, but quickly became dismissive, pointing out men they wish I would date, which was really hard on me. It took so much courage to come out in the first place.

I started dating my first girlfriend in September and decided to try and reach out to my parents to talk about my sexuality and see if I felt safe enough to come forward about my relationship. Long story short, they told me that this was my problem to deal with, not theirs, and that they did not want to know

anything pertaining to that aspect of my life. It's been hard for me to deal with both the fact that my parents will not provide me with the support, acceptance, and safe space that I had before I came out, as well as not being able to give my girlfriend everything her family has given me, which is nothing but open arms and love. Last I talked to them, they asked me to write down everything I needed from them and they would tell me if it's something they could

give me. I tried to make them understand why the way they are going about this is simply sucked up and doesn't need to be this hard, But I'm still struggling to find the right words as well as a reason for why they've reacted in such a negative way. Everyone I have come out to thus far has been nothing but loving, supportive, and proud of me. Please help Sabrina and she's here with us on the phone. Okay, Hi, Sabrita, Hi, it's so nice to meet you, by the way. And

Martha Thrett like, what I know, surprise, surprise, surprise. Well, I'm sort of surprised about your parents. Yeah, it's it's been pretty hard, I think, just especially since all of my friends and like literally everyone else I've come out to has been so supportive. I was taken aback for sure. Well, other than going to Chelsea, have you gone to a psychiatrist to work this out with your parents? Oh? Yeah, I joined a support group with other queer folks. I

have gone to a few therapists. They all just teld me to like keep pushing forward, keep reaching out, kind of rip off the band aid, do everything I can. So that's kind of what I've been doing. But I understand she has a different perspective and ACROSSSS, so kind of giving her time I think has been the best that she needs. But I still feel like I'm not getting anything back from her. From your mom, yeah, my mom, I mostly have like the most emotional connection with my mom.

My dad is like the sit back, I'm going to support you silently kind of person. So it doesn't feel natural for me to like want to go to him first, which is also an issue that that I have. Yeah, I think what you're describing is just going to take some time, you know, And I think you should go where the love is and when you have a support of welcoming family on your girlfriend's side, dive into that and lean into that during this time, because that's kind

of the support you need. And you're taking care of yourself and that's never wrong. Looking out for yourself and standing up for yourself and being honest and forthright to the people you love about what you care about and what you want in this life and your sexual identity and all of that is important. So as long as you're being honest with yourself, then nobody can hold anything against you. Those are their issues that they're going to

have to overcome. You can keep in contact with them and reach out and stuff, but it's it's going to be their own kind of journey. And in the meantime, you know, you should focus and go where the love is and just enjoy your time with your girlfriend, enjoy her family. You can get things from them that you're not getting from your own family. And I guarantee you your mother will come around. You're her daughter, you know, unless she's some evil, demonic wizard, like she's gonna come around.

She's gonna miss you, and she's gonna want to be a part of your life. Yeah, it's just for me specifically. It's been hard because I am such an EmPATH and I do. I have a hard time moving forward with things if I know that I don't have acceptance from my parents. So just like me, that's naturally who I am. And I've kind of talked to my mom about this because she has been the type of person who's like, I don't care what anyone thinks, Like, I'm gonna do

what I want that makes me happy. But that's just not who I am. Like, if I know that you love me and I care about your opinion, it's hard for me to like accept that it hasn't really progressed. But that's not an EmPATH. That's interdependency. An EmPATH is just feeling what other people are going through. Relying on other people's opinions of you is codependency or interdependency, So those two things have to be delineated in your mind. Those aren't the same thing. You know, and you're relying

on your mother's acceptance of you. Like, if every single one of us had to rely on someone else's acceptance, none of us would be accepted. That's the most important in your life. That's your attachment figure. It's your mom. You said you have the most emotional connection to her,

So that's why you're affected by this. I know it's difficult, but you have to learn a way to move through this period of time without relying on her approval because you don't have it, and you're not going to do anything to convince her to give it to you, except by living your life and demonstrating your happiness and your self love. You know, for yourself, you respecting yourself is the only way to get a people to respect you. Yeah. So she's also told me that she doesn't want me

to like come out. So I have a younger brother. He doesn't know anything about this, and she's kind of making me wait. She doesn't want me to tell my family, which I feel like I'm ready to do, but I also don't want to betray her in that aspect. But now it's kind of like I'm getting to the point where I don't care how old is your brother. My brother is seventeen, he's he's in high school, right, What are your thoughts on that, Martha? Do you I think

your brother is old enough to hear your truth. It's your story, like she doesn't get to write it for you. Yeah. I am so bad at things like this. If you inter relationships interpersonal, I'm horrible. This. Don't ask me to call it like maybe the alone. She's like, I'm just gonna be in my garden. Okay, that's where I don't have to get involved with anybody's personal affairs. I mean in our family there every kind of person, so we're used to it. Yeah, and I guess in your mother's

family there, she's not used to differences. Yeah, they're They're Jewish, they have tradition. It's weird though Jews are pretty inclusive, you know, of everybody, especially gay people. Well yeah, because Jews are a marginalized group in their own rights. So I mean usually I grew up in a very Jewish community and they were welcoming to everybody. But you know,

you telling your brother's your decision. Obviously, he's seventeen years old, he's old enough to hear it, and you lying to your brother is really just paving the way for him to be upset with you down the road for not being forthright. And I think it would be in your best interest to also maybe instead of talking to your mother directly, maybe composing an email where you could really write down everything you want to say. And that she's

basically asking you to lie about your truth. She's not accepting who you're saying you are, and that's so disrespectful to you, and it's really kind of like slowing down your process of growing. And her opinion is never going to change the truth of the matter, and that's that you're gay and that you love women and that you have a girlfriend that you love. You know, like that's

never going to change. So I think it would behoove you to think about writing that down in a letter to her and saying, you know, I need you to think about all the things I say and then come back to me when you're in a state of acceptance and reception instead of reactivity. Yeah, for sure, I will definitely do that. Take your mom to a therapist with you if you'd go. I've been trying for so many years, you don't even know. Yeah, she hears Martha say it,

Hopefully she will. Yeah, just yea, record this part of the episode and just play it back to your mother. Yea. Well, thank you so much, Sabrina. Let us know how it goes. Okay, oh, thank you so much. Love. Likewise, thanks Sabrina, Bye bye. You get some heavy stuff here. It gets pretty heavy. Yeah, I just have to answer questions like how to scramble an egg. Yeah, well I could use that information as well. Luckily no one's calling me asking me how to scramble

that egg, because it would be one hot mess. I don't think I've ever scrambled eggs without having to throw the pan away after the whole man. Yeah, basically. Well, our next question comes from single white female. She's fifty seven. She says, Dear Chelsea, I'm fifty seven and still single. I've embraced being single more than ever, and truly have never been one to have to have a man in my life. My parents divorced when I was three, and

I'm an only child. I swore I would never get married unless I was sure it was right, and would not have children unless I was in a happy marriage. Well that's my fate as it stands now. I've had several long term relationships and lived with two of my boyfriends. My last relationship ended in I feel anxious about dating and have a really hard time being open to any one or feeling attracted to most men I meet. Trying the dating sites, but I hate them. I'm pretty fit, petite,

and was blessed with decent jeans. Not to sound vain or anything, because I'm pretty modest, but I just have a younger look and attitude. I'm feeling embarrassed about being fifty seven and being still single. The past few years of the pandemic and living in a relatively new area have left me experiencing more solitude than I could ever imagine.

I get in my loner, only child state and find the idea of having someone in my life constantly to be frightening and overwhelming, leaving a little space for hope, though of course I know you don't have a crystal ball. But will I ever find a partner in this world who I can deal with and who treats me with the respect and love that I want? Will this anxiety go away? I'm sincerely feeling a bit odd and alone

in the world. My mom never remarried and stopped dating in her forties, and I don't want to end up like her. My dad found love at seveny I got married, so obviously it can always happen, right, ps how is too young to consider? I'm embarrassed to like guys know my age. Even on some levels, I should be proud yours truly single white female, single white female. Wow, they really open their hearts to you. I know, I know you are a trusted soul. What do you think about

single dom in your fifties, Martha, Well, she's lucky. She's had a lot of relationships, it sounds like, so she doesn't sound like she's in terrible trouble. I have no idea about dating sites. I tried that for a while. I mean, what's actually when did you try plenty of fish? No, I went out with three different people, and the algorithm doesn't fit me, doesn't fit you. Well, I mean you're a special situation, Martha. I'm an odd situation, so so are you. Yeah, that's true dating. But I found my

guy at forty six, So not on a dating site. No, not on a dating site, but I was on dating sites and I was definitely having sex through dating sites because well, I thought that's what they were for. And yeah, like there are so many. First of all, if you really don't want to be single, first stop saying that you're embarrassed of your age. You're not. You can't be embarrassed of your age. That's who you are. You're fifty

seven years old. Own it. So start with that, some positive affirmations every morning, being happy about that, the fact that you're still alive at fifty seven, and that you're healthy, and that you look good and you you're you seem to feel good about yourself. I mean, well, she said, I mean, I don't know how good she feels about herself, because she kept saying she was embarrassed with things about herself.

She's embarrassed he's single. She's embarrassed he's fifty seven. But then she says, she looks good, she's petite, and she's in good shape. You know, she's okay. She's okay, So go out, you know, just go out a few more times with different people. Yeah, you've got to exercise the muscle of going out. So get down those whether it's match dot Com or plenty of Fish or I don't know what the hell all the websites are now to know about plenty of Fish have you heard about popol

singles dot com. If you're looking for black guys, that's a good site. There's plenty there's something for everybody. For Jewish people, ball, I don't want to fish, Sure, well, I think Plenty of Fish isn't actually about fish, but there. I once put my makeup artists on a dating site called shoot what was it? And it was for fishermen? And it was it was misleading, and I was like, I was like, why is every person holding a like a bass in every picture? I'm like, who are they

looking for? Other fisherman? Like? Who are they looking for female fisherman? And then I was like, oh, this is a fishing website, Like this is for people who fish and that want to meet each other. But get out there and practice the exercise of dating, practice the exercise of being very owning who you are, that you are fifty seven. Yes, everyone's going through a weird time coming out of COVID. I mean even people who have big social lives. I'm assuming you do too, because you entertain

a lot. It's weird. Everyone feels a little bit off and it's hard to get back in. But the longer you wait, the harder it's going to be. So it's better just to take the first step and then you know it'll flow more easily once you get back into practice and go on dates as an exercise. Don't even go on them thinking, oh, this is gonna be this great love. Like if he's not the perfect thing that you're looking for, or he's not handsome enough, or he's

not thin enough or whatever you're into. If he's not meeting your requirements, who gives a ship? Just start going on dates to practice going on dates so that you get more comfortable with introducing yourself, telling your story and being proud of you who you are, because you know, you just said a bunch of great things about yourself and then a couple negatives. So just get into the practice of saying more positive and less negative and no

negative if you can. I don't think it's hard. I think there are so many people out there that are looking for a partner, men and women and everything in between on the spectrum. People are looking, and so you'll be surprised that you know, you think you're alone, but you're never alone. Martha and I are alone. That's loneliness. Yeah, just be happy you're not famous and everybody knows your personality before you go on a date. Okay, think of that,

think of that before you go on date. Yes, I'm sure the everyone just assumes exactly what you're going to be, like if you're on a first date for both of you, well, I mean it's imagine if you go on a date, like you're always presenting, even if you're not a celebrity, you're presenting what you think that you should be, right,

you're not being completely honest about yourself. And then when you're a celebrity, it's like you're almost presenting what you think people think about you in a sense, like it's a it's even more of a trick, and you're like, wait, this doesn't feel authentic or real, even though as a famous personality or as a like celebrity, I know what people think about me mostly is true. Like I'm not putting on an act. This is pretty much who I am all the time. And I don't think you're really

putting on an act either, Absolutely, am not. No, she's not putting on an act, and she's not trying to pret she's not trying to impress anybody, that's for sure. So I would just say get out there Okay, a single white female. Let us know how it goes. Let us know if and when you find love. We'll take a quick break right now and we'll come right back with Martha and Chelsea. And we're back with Martha and Chelsea. Martha just taught me how to make an omelet, and

you didn't burn the pan. No, it's still stuck on the side of the wall. We things got a little carried away in the break. Sorry, well, Martha. This is the part of the show where we usually ask if our guests have any piece of advice they'd like to ask Chelsea, or you can give me a piece of advice. It's Martha. We can make an I can ask for advice, or I can give you a piece of advice. Well, I was I was lying on the massage table two days ago, and I asked my messur about you, and

he said, oh, I really like her. I watched aller shows and I know, I know we're pretty well because he knew he knew you a lot better than I knew you. And he said, how does a comedian change there their acts so often? You've changed your act, and so he wanted to know why, why you've felt the need to change your act. Yeah, I just think it's an evolution. Like you know, you go through different phases

in your life. You want to tackle different subjects, and you also you have to you shoot a special and then that materials out there, so you have to begin again and then you like, you know, the hour. I just shot my next special in Nashville, like three nights ago,

and it's a completely different set. But it's all about It's about being single, starting in COVID kind of giving up on men and thinking, oh, I'll either become a late stage lesbian or I will just be single, and I'll do that because why why a late stage lesbian? Why are you attracted to women enough to know? But then you were just becoming so disappointing that I just thought, oh my gosh, they're all it is becoming unfuckable. So I thought, I'm going to have to transition. There's a

mass exodus of adults onset lesbian as I'm happening. So I called my sister and I asked her if she wanted to get a farm in Maine together, and she said, I don't want to be in a relationship with you romantically, So I canceled that plan, and so it's kind of my journey of coming out of COVID and then meeting Joe Koy, who's my boyfriend now, who I've known for years, but I didn't meet him online. He's been an old friend,

which is the best way to go. If you could ever hook up with one of your friends, that's the way, because this has been the most healthy relationship I've been in and just the sweetest straight hetero sexual MEA. Yeah, but he's Filipino, so he's marginalized, and that's why, like those kinds of men I think are a little bit more apt to understand women and the kind of dynamics

marginalized because he's Filipino. Well, he's a minority, so there's a whole different mentality than being with a straight white guy, is what I'm saying. Straight white guys are a little bit out of style. No offense to the one sitting right across from me, But you know, with the last five years everything we've learned, it just seems white men

have a have a slow learning curve. They don't seem to understand or grasp the situation that they have been you're a generalist, Yeah, yeah, I am I mean it's pretty, but you know that's enough. It's the generalization is true. You know, there's enough men out there that have abused their positions of power, that have taken advantage of women, whether it's in the workplace, whether it's out of the workplace. You know, women are capable of doing the same thing too,

but not to the degree in which men have. And so I you know, I resent the resistance of that conversation. I resent when men go whoa, you know, and it's like there's no argument. Really, it's it's happens over and over again. You're in a position of power, so you are of a different experience, you know, but because you're

a woman running your own empire. But you know, many women aren't running their own empires and have to put up with men and and you know, telling them what to do and what's best, da da da, and that it becomes old fast. So anyway, changing material all the time is kind of part and are so of being a comedian. You have an hour, you work on it for about a year. You do about a hundred shows. Tonight, I'm going to port Chester, New York. You were, yeah,

oh yeah, I have a show there. Tonight and tomorrow night. I have two shows there. So what part of New York is that west Chester? It's oh, it is west Chester, port Chester. Somebody said I have to pronounce it point Chester. No. I was like, I don't think I'm going to do that, but anyway, I guess that answer. Does that answer my stand up question? I think from your monsieur, well, yeah, tell him I'd like a massage after my show to

swing by. Okay, he's good. Okay, Well, thank you so much Martha for being here today and helping doll out advice. Thank you. And I'm just in awe about the questions that you get. Yeah, I know, I know. Really people are needy. They are, well, yeah needy. Don't realize that when you're doing the kinds of questions and you ask Martha, don't get questions like that and so long. Yes, these are the cut down versions, Martha. Wow, these are the

abridged versions. Yes, yeah, thank you Martha. Thanks Martha, thank you. So if you'd like to ask Chelsea a question, email us at Dear Chelsea Project at gmail dot com