Our Ayahuasca Trip with Jenny Mollen Biggs & Dan Maurio

I was nice. That was nice. Thank you came up. And I had a little pool party on Saturday for some friends and their kids, because every once in a while I like to have kids at my house just to remind myself that they shouldn't be there. And then you came and cleaned up Sunday morning, and that was really nice of you. And I don't know if you noticed, but I cleaned up the dog shit on Sunday morning.

Actually got pretty good condition when I got there. I only went because you had a guest day, so I wanted to make sure that everything was the up and up, that we made a good impression. There were no drugs out or anything like that. And there were after kids being there. I thought for sure there would be yeah, and there were not. They were not everybody of themselves that day at the pool, it was like unlike any

other day. Joining us today in studio are Dan Morio and Jenny Molin, my two friends, my two very dear friends who came with me to Peru to do ayahuasca from my Netflix special Chelsea Does Drugs a few years ago. So we are reuniting in studio to discuss the effects, the experience and the after effects. So for those of you who are not familiar with ayahuasca, it is a plant that is grown in Peru that is used as a hallucinogenic. I wouldn't would you describe it as a psychedelic.

It is a psychedelic, I believe Dan, I don't know. Okay. Anyway, that's the information we have on ayahuasca. Brandon, you were not in my life at this point. No, this is right before me. Right. But now that I've done ayahuasca, you probably because when you met me, you didn't drink or smoke weed. Correct, And now look at you, lean and hard, right, and how do you feel about your life since you started imbibing, and you know, I feel good.

I think that everyone should experience something like you. You actually say in the documentary that you want to know what everything feels like, like there's nothing you don't want to try. And I've tried to take more of that on, even in little things like something that I would have said no to trying food related before, Like we went and had oysters, which never interested me, and you're like, you just have to do it. What's the worst that's gonna happen. That's kind of what I've taken on. Well,

that's good. And also I think that you have a lot of people have are under the assumption that if you are partaking in alcohol or you know, cannabis used, especially, there's a stereotype that you can't get ship done or that you're lazy, and that is not true. Either. You can get things done. I am I'm inherently lazy anyway, but I still get things done on cannabis. You're the highest functioning cannabis user I've ever encountered to that. One second,

let me have a drink of this tea. Well, thank you, Brendon, and I'm glad that you started imbibing because you were wound very tight, and I would say that you've loosened up a lot. I think it's really helped, except for the other day. I did take a two point five millionary am mint at the house when I was feeling a little anxious. And then what were you feeling anxious about?

I don't know, it's just early morning. I got there and I just knew I felt wound high, and I was like, you know what, just take this, it's two point five it's just going to take the edge off. And then I came home three hours later and he had his shoes off, feed up on the table, had a bunch of books and snacks around him. Well, not books, snacks and paperwork, I guess. I was still trying to work, yeah, but lounging. And so I didn't want to disturb him. So I went up to my room and hid there

until he was done relaxing. But I had to admittantly tell you what had happened. Yes, you did tell me that you were high, and I said, good for you, Good for you. What a workplace? Okay, So hi guys, how are you Hi? Hi? Jenny from New York and Danny from Jenny from the block and Danny from the Valley. Hi, Hi guys, it's nice to reunite. The three of us haven't actually been together since we did the Iowa or no, we did an episode of the Netflix show right after

post ayahuasca. Maybe no, don't think that did. We did it okay, and we just parted ways and decided that we were never going to speak again. And then three of us were never going to be in the same place. And actually Jenny, actually Jenny has putting me up in her apartment and not even bother to hang out with me while that was happening. Was she in the city. I went to the city and she's like, stay at

my apartment, and then I stayed at her house in Spain. Yeah, she stayed at my house in Spain, where I also didn't see her. I think that's how she rolls. I think she just wants to pass like ships in the night, so make you think you're still in a friendship but never actually seeing each other, which is what's happening right now because you're you're in New York and we're in l A. She's doing it again. So we're talking about ayahuasca today, and I think it's a good time to

check in. How many years has it been since our experience together? Has it been? I think it's been longer than more, because I been four years. Okay, so it's been four years and none of us have done it since, and you guys, I think we all it had an impact on all three of us. Let's talk about how long each person's trip was, because line, the first night was kind of interrupted by by you guys, which I was happy to have it interrupted. But you guys, would

you say it was like an hour? Two hours? I feel like when I settled in it took about fifteen minutes for it to begin, and that the trip itself was a few minutes only, No, it wasn't a few minutes. Like, well, you're laying there for much longer than that. I think you mean lying. I think you mean lying there. Oh, please lying there for Maybe you're probably lying there for thirty minutes or laying there And yeah, I think there was only the story that I told less than five minutes.

Oh that's interesting, I don't. I feel like it lasted a lifetime, and yet in real time it was probably I would say an hour and a half two hours. Now does start to finish? Is that you're drinking the cup of whatever you drank. So yeah, I feel like you drinking. You're instantly in it. I mean maybe five minutes tops. Yeah, and Dan went down before any of us. You guys, Dan, it was like two minutes. And and he's so thin that his body just like it took

over it almost. Yeah, it almost discombobulated right there in front of us. That's what I was scared. That's appropriate. That word. It makes no sense in that content. Discombbulated. Yes, sorry, sorry, you're right, I stand corrected. At least I'm not laying bricks over there while I'm lying down. So as soon as the trip has done, you feel normal again, completely normal.

I mean you feel enlightened, but you feel completely sober and you also the great thing is you remember everything, and we still remember everything that's in years, like you remember the scenes. And it's not like a drug where sometimes it's blurry or alcohol, which can you know, make you not remember this. You remember everything, which is an advantage, and that's why I think it can be so therapeutic because you are remembering everything and there's no come down. No,

you're zero come down. It's not like that. So it almost felt like you're like, I have never been hypnotized. But you know when you see people and you know the whoever it is, the magician or the therapists snapped their fingers and the person is fine. That's what it felt like. When he said the trip's over, I looked. I turned to Chelsea was like, I guess it's over.

It wasn't. It didn't take anything. It's a really weird feature of that drug that you're if mushrooms is like augmented reality, ayahuasca is like virtual reality and you're in total control. It's like you're immersed in something it is. That's so true. Yeah, and there's nothing physiological other than being sick to your stomach in a forest. There's nothing like physiologically going on. You can just after you've laid down and you're meditating. Your focus is a big part

of it. I think you mean after you lay down, because you're not a chicken, are you? Do you lay eggs? Why don't you tell us a little bit about your experience then and how you look at it now. So when you asked me to do it, I was in the middle of finishing my book that was sort of about my journey through motherhood, and I felt like, oh my god, this is a perfect opportunity to chase the story, to go on this adventure, to try something that is a little maybe outside of the box. But I don't know.

I had spoken to my therapist and she's like, I think it would be good for you. You're struggling with figuring out who you are as a mother and your new identity, and maybe ayahuasca is actually a good idea. So when when I ran that past Jason, at first he flipped out, but then eventually, like all of my you know, crazy hair brained ideas, I got him on board.

And yeah, it was scary. That night was terrifying because of our surroundings were scary also, like we were in the woods in a lodge, and lodge is a generous term for where we stayed. It was more like a hut that served food, and we were and it was really dark, and you know that there are lots of critters and snakes in Peru on the Amazon. We were right off of the Amazon Um, so it was a scary. And then we had to walk up to that tented therapy room or journey room or whatever the hell they

called it. What did they call that? I don't remember, doesn't I don't know. It was some sort of like your, yeah, your, it was a your with toilets, but you know toilets. I mean, you guys found the toilets. I didn't, luckily never had to go there. Oh yeah, I spent quite a lot of time in the toilet. And what was your overwhelming feeling? How would you describe it? Well? I remember when he was passing around the cup, and at first I was like, oh, dude, you're giving me way

too much. I mean, like this is too I think I'm going to have two intense of a trip if I drink this whole cup. But you know, he was the shaman, was somebody that we couldn't really communicate with, so I guess I just sort of went with it, and luckily Dan ended up kind of going into like a deeper, more like gnarly kind of dark place than I did. At first, it was like that feeling of like you're on ecstasy mixed with like maybe you're a

little buzzed, so you feel very dizzy. And then all of a sudden, I found myself in my childhood home of the house that I I didn't even know I remembered. I mean, this was like lifetimes ago, it feels like. And I started sort of having these experiences that I guess I had lived before, but just in a different way. And it almost felt like I was on like a Spotify account where I could just like click to change the image or click, you know, click through songs, so

I could like change the image. So if I didn't love whatever I was feeling, I felt in control enough to be able to kind of like flip over to a different vision. And then I saw Sid and at the time, so it wasn't speaking, so Sid was probably not a year old or or had just turned a year, but in my vision, he was speaking to me and I and I sort of got this piece that I needed where he looked at me and he's like, you're already enough, Like you don't have to prove to me

that you are good enough to be my mom. You already are just by being my mom. You are enough for me. And that is what like just sent me into hysterics. Yeah, and that would I couldn't handle it, I thought. And my dog recently died, so you know, I going into what I was expecting. Oh my God, I'm gonna have this like huge traumatic encounter with you know, the ghost of my dog or you know. But it was nothing about my dog. It was all about my childhood.

And it really came full circle with with seeing my son. I wonder if I did it now, if Bert would come to me in a vision and say, I feel I don't know, Yeah, I probably would. But then Jason came into it, right, Jason wasn't as big of a part. No, but I did love In your book when you're like, I think Jenny was terrified because she realized how much she loved her husband. Well you did, because remember you came out of it. You're like, I have to call Jason.

Have to call Jason. I'm like, are you going to tell him everything? You felt? Like? Definitely not No, definitely, no way, he can never know. It would give him too much of an upper hand in our marriage. Yeah. No, no, of course, don't tell him and he doesn't need to know. Yes, exactly. And then no, I mean it was it was super I opening, and I felt like I was a different

person afterwards. I mean, I know that sounds ridiculous, but I did feel as though I had had ten years of therapy or had just like upped my zul off to like three d milligrams. I mean I was in a very good place, and I would say that lasted for maybe like a good year year and a half, and then happened and then I just send it into

darkness again. Really no, but but yeah, like I think that it's a crazy therapeutic experience, and unfortunately, as human beings, I think it's just hard to hold onto any anything. So I, you know, maybe I just need to do it again, is what I'm saying. We've talked about doing it again. Are you looking into it? Seriously? I would totally do it again. I just need to make sure

that with my thyroid it's okay. Now I have a hyper thyroid, so I have to And what about your antidepressants because a lot of people say you're not supposed to do it if because you didn't you go off your you didn't do it. Was off meds for yeah, for like seven years I was off meds and then I recently got back on. But I would if we decided to do this, I would get off. I mean, I'm on a such a low dose that it's not

like a major deal. I've only been on it for like a month, so we could also get a bunch of people do it and do it right here in California, you know, right, and like you can do that, right, I mean yeah, because yeah, And I have a ton of friends that are always interested in doing it, and I'm interested in doing it now that I've had therapy and my head's in a different place, Like I now would like to see what I would get out of it, because I bet I could go a lot deeper than

I was able to them. Well, it was a compromised atmosphere. I mean the light wasn't there was too much light, and there was a camera crew right when there was too much light from the camera crew, right right, Okay, I'm just connects, just connecting a little dots. Yeah. I would be interested in doing it again without it being documented. Oh yeah, yeah, I would be interested in doing it again without it being documented, and also in documenting it again.

I like to do this. Yeah, me too, I feel safer. I do too. I do too, Brandon, would you want to be chaperone to doing it? From hearing Jenny's after watching it, No, nothing about it interests me. Okay, Dan, let's you see it really partly because I just Dan laying on his map. I just have such this like image that is resonating of him being so dizzy and feeling sick and I hate throwing up more than anything.

And him saying I would not wish this on my worst enemy is not exactly you know, the accolade I'm looking for when trying a drug, like that's not a seal of approval for me. And diarrhea like crazy didn't dihea, It's been a fun right the diarrhea, well, I you know, listen, I went into that ceremony thinking I'm going to sweat, probably ship my pants and vomit and probably be thin. And I remember gaining six or seven pounds on that trip. Only I can go somewhere where to a sweat lodge,

have diarrhea, vomit, and put on weight. Okay for the record, Chelsea, at first she walked into this journey, She's like, I'm not drinking, I'm eating clean, I'm not like all of the basically the this list that she brought up, things that she had to adhere or two before doing the drug. After it didn't work. The first time she goes in, she's like eating Oreos. She's like, fuck it, We're okay, give me a vodka. All right, I'm gonna do it again.

So at that point, yeah, I think I had to gay did the effects of it by drinking the first night because I was like, oh, this doesn't work, I'll just have something. I guess I'm gonna have to get a buzz a different way. Dan, Let's talk about your experiencing, your initial reaction. What you remember feeling and immediately same thing that Jenny mentioned with there's a sense of agency

that's bizarre. I had the same thing childhood home. It was like I was like floating through space and then spat out into my childhood home backyard, and I remember, you're aware of everything as you go. Like Jenny was saying, spotify my list, you have this rich detail. I remember thinking I could go and oh that's what the back door of my childhood home was like. I haven't thought about this in years. And I walked into my child at home and I was like, oh, there's the trees

to play in avalon um walked into my kitchen. Haven't thought of this and forever rich detail I'm gonna go to. I made a decision to go to my childhood bedroom, walked down the hallway, I saw all my old toys, shelves, everything, went over, made a decision to go look at where my old toys were. And then when I turned around, it was me as a child sitting on the bed. That was like the price of Admission moment where because there was this thing of like, oh, this is all

too good to be true. I think I said it. I think it made the cut where I was like, what this drug promises, something revelatory, something that will change you a little bit. I said, it seems too good to be true. And then in my trip or whatever you wanna call it, when I turned around and saw myself sitting on the bed as a child, I was like, Oh, that's that's something else. That's this has to be deep,

even if I can't unpack it in the moment. And then there was like a time at it and I was holding myself, which is amazing, and I was like, oh, that's definitely loaded. I had this phrase come to my head. You are your own father, you have to be a good father. It was something like that, which is a real kind of like that was the deep sort of

takeaway from the thing. It was sort of a slow burn, heavy kind of visual and phrase that and were you able to change channels like Jenny talked about, Yeah, there was that that sense of I would say, that's one of the defining characteristics of that drug, is you it's meditative because you're supposed to follow the shaman's singing or

whatever he's chanting. It was hard to follow that though, because he was also defecating well while he was chanting, and he was sitting into our hair and like beating us over the head with like leaves. I liked that part. I have to say, I do like getting hit with leaves. Ostensibly he's he's the leader, but like I didn't respect him anybody anybody who like smoking. Smoking is a bad idea, and like I can't like, if you're going to smoke, you're gonna smoke in a rainforest. That seems like a

ridiculous idea. Okay, we're gonna take a quick break and we'll be right back. As a spectator, having rewatched this last night, I did not get anything from what you just said. Dan, like your experience. It seemed horrible because you're saying when you're sitting there, you just say, like I'm having like deep dark thoughts, like you seeing yourself as a child. That seems nice, that seems like maybe I do want to try this drug. But what we

saw on the edit was not that at all. It was like, absolutely, under no circumstance would your experience make someone want to try it? Right? So, did I think a turn at a certain Well no, I think I mean, as far as the narrative goes, it had to focus on Chelsea. So I think I talked about my trip on camera, but they probably just couldn't fit it in. She had to be the focus, like it was probably just funny to like put in you sound resentful. Well, I finally I could get this story out. The people

want to know that, we want to know. I can't wait to be able to refer people to this to get the real as. A follow up documentary coming out is offshoot documentary called Dan Does Drugs. Well now that it's been a few years, because I think Chelsea said before, well, you just said now that you would try it again. But I think before you said that you're not really interested. I wasn't because I don't like the vomiting or the

shifting aspect. And luckily I didn't have to go to the bathroom, and I didn't should be but I did vomit. But it was in and out, like you guys were in the bathroom, in and out. I don't know if you were vomiting. I'll tell you what happened when I went to the bathroom. Okay, well, let's start with I think I was the first to get up and go and overwhelmingly sick to my stomach. I didn't want to

throw up on camera. Went over to this stall in this hut, and every single inch of the surface us of this bathroom, toilet, walls, everything was covered with with bugs. It was yes, it was so and I thought about like I was like beetles everywhere. I thought about my home. I thought about my home and like you know, we were I was just thinking about you. I was like, I hate you so like why do I Like? There was a lot of heavy anger directed towards me. I could feel it. I was like, oh, I better get

out of the way. He's looking straight at me with like the devil in his eyes because he was looking at me, and I was a reflection of the devil to you at that point. And then it passed. It did, I didn't throw up. I went and laid back down and and then that's when my trip started, was when this wave of sickness passed, I could lay down and start focusing. And that's when I was like I was floating through space in this trippy kind of way. Yeah, I think that you know it's different way you do

it right away because it has to sink in. I like the perspective. I like having so many years to reflect upon it because it's changed over time. And I definitely have to say to what you said, Jenny, that you thought your behavior changed for about a year, like it changed my relationship with my sister Shanna forever, because after that, I just like I had a completely different attitude towards her, and and I haven't, I mean even

now to this day. I mean, we just were in Martha's vineyard a couple of weeks ago and she was texting me like she can do, like asking me kind of the same question over and over and or we were on the phone or something and I just went, Shanna, you seriously just stopped. You're annoying me. And she's like, oh, sorry, okay, and then we hung up, and then I called her back.

I'm like, I'm sorry, you're not annoying me. You can keep asking me the question, like I have a thing in my head now to always make sure she feels okay. And because people who haven't seen the documentary, your visions were tied closely to san Yeah, my visions were tied closely. I mean I've spoken ad nauseum about my own ayahuasca experience, So if you're listening to this podcast and you don't know about it, it was about my sister and treating

her fairly well. The first night with you guys, I didn't really get the experience because I guess I was distracted by both of you and your what was happening to you, And I felt obviously responsible, look pretty guilty.

I felt pretty bad about what was going down. So I kind of I felt a couple of tingles starting to happen in my feet when we were in that big yard in the first night, and I was like, Okay, it's happening, It's happening, And then you guys started moaning and crying and bellowing, and I was like, holy shit,

I gotta get involved here. So that night wasn't the night for me, but the next night, when I did it alone with my boyfriend, the shaman who spends his night shipping his pants in his cavalrici or true religion, True Religion, they were jeans. The next night was exactly that. It was the ability to see yourself as a child outside of yourself. You're watching yourself as a kid, but

you're not, You're not the kid. You're just watching. And it was all scenes that were true, that had happened and played out like this kind of Phantasmagoria is the word I'd like to use, because I think it best describes it as just like a shuffling of scenes in front of you. And and it was my sister and I just laughter, like you know, it was just laughter on the water and I could hear us. You know, we would tip each other over in kayaks and we

would end up. I would always pee in my pants when I was a little girl, and she would always laugh. You know, my brothers and sisters would always egg me on to do that. And it was just us running down the beach holding hands and me pulling her, and it was just a reminder like, oh, she and I are sisters. We've been together longer than anyone else in my life, and we held hands our entire childhood without even thinking, and why am I sitting in such judgment

of her? Because she wants to live in New Jersey and she's perfectly content raising kids and being a housewife. Like I didn't get that and she and that was like there was a voice saying, she is her you or you, you're the one who wants the attention. She doesn't want the attention. There's no reason to judge her.

And that was like, oh. And then the other thing that happened right at the end, because I remember feeling that and it was overwhelming and I had tears streaming down my face because I was like, just felt so much love for her, Like I was like, oh, be kind, be gentle. She's not like you, and that's a good thing. That's not a bad thing. You know, she's a different person and you have to respect that. And then I was overcome with you have too many people around you

all the time. It's okay to be alone. It's okay to spend time alone. And I remember thinking, oh, fuck, I don't want to deal with that, Like I don't want to have to start to, you know, take a real look at myself, which was probably the over you know, bearing or overall message, the deeper message there, But at that moment, I was like, no, I just got the

sister message. I'm going to focus on that. I don't want to deal with spending more time alone or getting rid of some people in my life or what ever that meant for me at that time. And I remember thinking, really, all I wanted to do was go downstairs and have a drink with the crew and tell them just what happened, which is exactly the opposite of the voice in my head telling me to sit there and be alone and be okay with being alone and without all the activity.

So now I think after the last two years of all of this, the book and the therapy and all of the stuff that I've learned from my psychiatrist, and I think my brain is so much healthier, and I'm I'm really curious now to see what would happen, and I would definitely do it again. So how would you

guys go into it differently? Because there's also seen in the documentary where you're all on the porch and you're all scared, Like Chelsea says, no, I'm not scared, but Jenny and Dan you were like speaking admittedly about that you were nervous to go into it, and the shaman at one point said, you can't go into this with fear. And Chelsea you talk a lot about now, like setting intentions for everything, like your day before, you meditate, whatever

you do. So now, having done the Ayahwaska, knowing kind of the pain and yes that you're going to go through, you kind of alleviated that one aspect of it. What would your intention or thought be now going into it? Well, I mean that's a good question to ask you to Jenny. Did you feel like you prepared yourself in the right way for it? Well, I just remember there were a lot of like dietary adjustments, and I just I have starvation anxiety. So I feel like I couldn't do it.

I mean, I know that you guys, you guys are almost fasted that entire day, and maybe that is why I was like shooting my brains out for most of my trip, But I don't know that I could adhere to There were just so many rigid rules. It was like don't have sex, don't eat tomatoes. Don't you know they're just like crazy? Yeah, because I guess it lessens the impact, But I mean I would say that it didn't lessen the impact for you actually know, how would we know? I mean, how would we know what impact

it could? I mean I could have been Dan. I mean maybe it was a good thing I had something, Yeah, exactly. I mean they said you shouldn't drink for like three weeks leading up to it. I think I didn't drink. I didn't drink the night before like that, right, and you weren't allowed to have certain foods because it doesn't work as well. But Dan, when you look back at it, do you think about it as a positive, Because then Dan came out of it and said, Hey, I need

to get back to my family. My wife is pregnant. What the funk am I doing here? So I think you were really mad at yourself, and you were taking out your anger on me because I had given you the opportunity and you took it. Would you do it differently now? I don't have regrets about going. I it seemed like a truly adventurous thing to do, to go to and Dan, your wife was like, if I weren't pregnant, I'd be fucking all over this. So you have to go, Dan, so you can't be too mad. Yeah, No, we both went.

I have no regrets about I would do it again. I mean there was precedent, like we had. This was Brooke was pregnant with our third kids, so none of them had come early before. So I think I'd be more meditative going in this time. I think I would be just a lot more chill, and it would be way less anxiety around the whole thing. I mean, that's a good question where we all are now versus where we were four years ago. I mean, I know, I mean like Brook being like seven or eight months pregnant

and Jenny's kid being so small. Said right, it was Sid, Yeah, said being Sid being so small that was an ideal that was that was kind of shitty. So I think we'd be a little more clearheaded, a little more of a blank slate going in. Yeah, this time, I feel like I was in a bit of like a postpartum panic where I was like, I just need to do something to like, you know, figure out like my place in all of this, And I was really looking for answers that now, at least in that department, I feel

that I have now. I think i'd be more freaked out because I think with turning forty, I started to now my new thing that I'm obsessed about and freaking out about is dying. So I think I would have different I would actually probably just have different fears. I would kind of go into it a bit more like, Oh God, is this going to fuck something up in my body? Am I should? Should I really be doing this?

In that you have fears about you have like fears about not not not special sense not in like I was never a hypochondriac, but now I think with turning forty, and also there's been some stuff that's happened in my family with my dad and my brother and all this ship that all of a sudden, I just I don't feel so impervious. I just feel vulnerable. You know. My therapist always says to me, She's like, Jenny, You've always

had fear before. It was like that your house was haunted, that you were going to get kidnapped or molested, or that you know, all of these things throughout the course of my life. But now she says, your fears are very age appropriate your forty and of course now you're like my hands swollen. I need an m R. I why, you know, why is this how anyway? So I think that going into it, I can't. If I'm being completely honest, I don't know that I wouldn't have fear. I just

think it would be different fears. Also, I think back to Brandon's question, what would you're setting an attention? I don't know that any of us did that for Ahuaska set an intention. I kind of just went in wildly and said, all right, let's see what happens. And and now I did that drug that frog toad venom called five D M e O T, which is like a near death experience, which I didn't know that going in. I was like, great. I wish somebody would have told

me that before because it was miserable. But that's another thing where you like, it's so important to set an intention, Like what even when you're like kind of casually having fun with mushrooms or whatever, cannabis not really you don't have to set an intention to take an edible, but but you should start trying that that. I know every believe me, I'd be setting attentions all day long. But I think it is important to know that to go in and say, okay, you know, I want to be present.

I want to have a great experience. I want to learn about you know, if you have a question about your career or your love life, or your family or something like that. I think it's so it's a good reminder to always just be remembered, because it's like every morning I get up now and I meditate in bed before I do anything, and I'm just like, okay, today, no matter what happens, I'm going to stay in this mood. You know, it doesn't matter what happens, it's not important.

Just be present and be in a calm mood and nonreactive mood. That for me is like the most important thing to be nonreactive, because that's you know, I'm born as a reactor. I've never set intentions before. That's foreign to me. When you set an attention, doesn't that sort

of like narrow your focus. Well, it's just an overall intention, Like there could be a narrow intention, or there could be an overall intention like you know, for me, like the my whole therapy experience was to calm down, to not be running around and be on my phone NonStop and not be present, not looking at people when I'm talking to them, having five conversations at once, you know, for so many years on the show, that's how I

managed things. I was just eight, five things were coming in my you know, and I would just do them all really kind of half ass instead of intending to have everything be my main focus. So it's not setting an attention in like, you know, it's more like today, don't be a cunt is my intention? Don't be a fucking cunt? Yeah, I think you know it's overall? Will you all all have very different personalities between you Dan and Jenny. Yeah, exactly, very yeah, if they're I mean

different temperaments. So, Jenny, what number are you on the angiogram? Did we just say? God, I'm a three, I'm like a fucking tried in true three three? And what are you do? You know what you are in the aniogram? All right, we'll have to do that the next time you come over. That'll keep us busy for at least two to three hours. Well, since you're a pharmacological intuitive, yes, and you say no mushrooms for me, because I think you get this is why I think I think you

get very giddy already on pot. It's a lot to handle for you, and you get very excitable. And I and when I've seen you drunk a few times and you're also get very excited. I did, and I think that's great, And why why why take it further? So is there someone you would not recommend? I think anybody who has a hard time losing control? Okay, Well, like Jenny says that now she's fearful of things, you know, more in terms of medical condition, Well that's typical. Though

that's forty turning forty, that's what happens. You'll get over that. I mean I had that same kind of you know, you realize that you're in decline. It's so you are getting older. But I mean it is a cliche that you know, once you're in your forties you feel more confident than ever. Because I when I turned forty, I think I had like a definite crisis than the election. Put was like that, you know, a hat on a hat. I and it all kind of swirled together and I

fulminated into like, oh, this is unmanageable. So do you think for someone who's already a type of personality, this wouldn't help them or it could you know, hinder them? Know? I mean I think if no, I think it could help you, but you you have to know, you have to trust, like what Alex said Alec Casci and my friend who came on to talk about kenemine therapy, you

have to trust and respect your brain chemistry. You know what you're okay with, and people know like they shouldn't push yourself beyond your boundaries unless you feel like you're in a very safe environment. And the most important thing is to do something like this when you feel like you are in a very safe environment, which we didn't brandon to your point, I am a bit of a control freak and I don't love being drunk. I don't love I mean, he actually does nothing to me, Like

I could go to sleep on it. It doesn't even affect my body for some reason. But this drug specifically, you feel like you're in you have so much control. That was sort of the crazy realization to me was once I was on it, after I got over that initial like oh I'm dizzy, it was like, oh, whoa, I feel completely safe. I am fully alert, aware of

my vironment, like almost hyper aware, so you know. I mean, I was always a fan of cocaine when I was in my drug phase, and I felt like you have that same sort of like I could function on this. It's like, even though I'm having visions, it's not like a mushroom where you know, I sit in like a bathroom mirror and like dig for zits that don't exist. It's not that. So it's far more like a mental control. But you're physically out of control, like that dizzy feeling

and you know, not having control of yours. It's almost like yeah, but yeah, but you know. It was so weird was when the shaman decided that he was done with us, because I don't know, maybe we were laughing and he said that, like our trip was over and he cut it short by like four hours. I felt completely fine. I instantly felt fine. I was like, I'm hungry. I want some of those jungle noodles they make here. Um, let's go, let's just like go downstairs and have dinner.

Yeah you are. I like that. I like that post high hungary too. I like that vibe where you're like, oh yeah, it's you're exhausted from your night. It's especially when you do mushrooms too, like the end of the night, you're like, who wants pizza? That's the kind of the best remember I threw up and then had something like chicken soup in the forest. Well, you've been eating because it's necessary for what's going on with you. But I

definitely felt control over directing my thoughts too. But I did, oh back to the intention I do want to say I did. When I went in there, I was like, this is going to be a happy experience. This is going to be fun. And the second yeah, I was like, you're gonna this is gonna be happy. Like the whole time, I was just like, nothing bad is going to happen, and nothing bad did. So that's also a good thing to say to yourself. I wonder why you had so much focus on your sister though, because you have a

bunch of siblings so well. I would think that it must have been a subconscious understanding of my own to know that I behaved badly or that I was being too harsh on her, and it was just kind of coming to light in that way, so that, I mean, it had to be in my subconscious somewhere. Well, I think it's like, you don't judge anything that you don't recognize in yourself. So I'm wondering, like, what in the way that she lives. Do you most recognize about yourself?

Great question? You know what hearing you say, because I didn't know the last part that you started to self reflect and you didn't like that image. And that's probably because Shan is very comfortable like not having people around or just being in her element, and you're not. Like there was a time where you didn't like being at the house, especially by yourself. You didn't like being alone. So you probably see things in Shanna you're now. Sean is pretty social though, like me, and she's got kids

and she's in a different way. No, I think you're on. I think you're a Yeah. I think it's something like wishful, like you about yourself that's so extravagant, and like you're always trying to fulfill something like you said in the past about like these extreme activities, like you're always onto the next thing, and it's just lately that you kind of rain that in and like I don't have to do that all the time. No. Well, because I read that book Essentialism, which Jenny you should read too. I

think I sent it to you Dan right. Essentialism by Greg McEwen. It's great. It's about just doing less better and not doing everything poorly about you know, really focusing on things. I'll drop off a cop But what you're saying about shshana about out the activity like to create, you know, the skiing and the you know, like whatever I like to do kind of like extremist in a way, like I like to go for it so hard is And my psychiatrist told me, he's like, those are the

moments where you're present. Of course you love it because that's the only time in your life you've been present. When you're skiing down a mountain nine miles an hour, you have to pay attention, and yeah, he goes, that's why you feel the most alive. That's why you're so drawn to those activities. If you can incorporate that into your real life and be present in your real life like that, you'll still feel the same thrills and rushes. But you know, you have to be paying attention all

the time. So it's just another argument for being present and for reminding myself. Oh, if I'm in the middle of a conversation and i start thinking about something else, or if I'm driving and I'm not thinking at all, it's like, breathe, be present, you know, that's my issue mostly, and I've really enjoyed learning how to do that because it's kept. It's you know. Now I can read a book without checking my phone every chapter. Even I just read a book, Jenny that we're going to have to

send you. Dan gave me a book called Tampa. I'm reading it right now. Are you by a lista nutting? This is a very disturbing subject matter book, but it is very well written and somehow very darkly funny. So so you feel I feel really good about this recommendation, do you? Yeah? I feel like, you know, because sometimes it could be burdensome to give some of a book it's like, oh fun you know, I got to read this now, But clearly it worked. You liked it. I

thought it was funny and it aroused you. I wouldn't say it aroused me, Dan, No, I would not say it aroused me. But thank you for throwing that out there. Dan, tell us a little bit where about where you are in your life. Because Dan worked with me on my shows for the last how many years? Eight before this something like that, And then after we ended Chelsea, you decided to go to school. I started volunteering at a

Counseling Center and liked it a lot. And now I'm getting my masters and becoming amazing where and are you getting? Like are you going to be? What are you going for? An m f T isn't any Antioch? It is? Yeah, I went to school. There are you kidding me? No? I started getting my masters at Antioch. I loved it. Are you gaffing people? Wait? Wait? Who were your professors? Oh my god, I'd have to look on my papers. I don't remember. I just remember the people that were

I was in class. Well, so did you graduate from there? No? I got a movie and I left. Well, that was the right thing to do. I had. You know, my friend just made this movie. My friend just made this movie. She always puts me in whatever she makes, and she made this movie called Hustlers. It's coming out this this Friday. And she wanted to put me in a scene j Loo and Constance Wu and I couldn't do it because I had class. The movie is like so huge right now,

and it's tracking so well. And and Dan, you are such a great actor. Thanks, thank you. And you didn't you didn't go do it. I'm surprised they would have let you out. Yeah, it was so folks. I didn't think it was a good idea. Wait, do you know one of the teachers there. I'm just gonna do you have the guy who Terry Terry something? He was one of the Little Rock Five. I haven't had him yet. No, Oh my god, it's one of the most incredible classes I'd ever take. What's the what's the Little Rock Five?

So he was one of the one of the five students that was bust into Little Rock. He's African American and he was bust in to go to this all white school when they were But you're watching, we're studying it in class, right, we don't know until the very end that he was one of those kids, Like he doesn't reveal that. It was one of the most insane classes I've ever taken. I might go to school at Antioch. I would love that. Oh my god, I should just go to that. I love Aunt anyway, because I want

to learn all out all that stuff. I'm so interested. It's amazing. But classes on Freud everything is so great there. They really do an amazing job. Well great, everybody seems like they're growing up. So I guess I just I guess the next step is discussing where we're going to do it again and who else we're going to bring in.

Do you think Jason is ready to do it? Jenny? So, you know, that's an interesting question because you know, he's sober, and he still feels even though he knows that, you know, I guess it has been used to treat addiction and whatnot. I think he still has a little bit of trepidation with just the whole being a drug thing, right right, not that this is the kind of drug that's gonna be like you know what I want to get now a bag of cocaine and I want to go get

some hookers and go party. I mean, it's definitely not that drug. But I don't know. Maybe for someone like Jason, like you know, even like advoc cold and sinus could be a gateway drug. Who knows. So what kind of drugs are you using in your life now, Jenny? And they do you use cannabis at all? You know? I really lead, don't It makes me too paranoid? Really? And I ate an edible. Before Jason's birthday last year, I

was in the sunken place. I couldn't get out. It was like a three day trip well, that's you overdose. You overdose. I just can't believe with micro dosing it would be too much because you can get mints now, like Petra has those two and a half milligram mints that are just well. Brandon actually just said, you know what, never mind, I'm waiting for your line to come out. We're working and fine tuning everything because of the vaping crisis.

So I have to strip every all the chemicals out of our vapes and make sure that they are still smokable and effective because I don't want to put anything out there that is going to cause any damage. And there are so many chemicals in these things. So that's what we're working on to Well, I'll be waiting. I'm ready. It's good to be back together you guys. Jenny. It's really annoying that you're not here. When are we going to see you again? I'll be out there at the

beginning of October. Well, can you let me know this? Oh I'm leaving. I go on tour in October to Australia. Oh God, are you serious? I feel like you're missing. So that's the impression I'm getting. Dan. Literally, let me just tell you. Chelsea was here in town. We were in front of the theater where she was about to perform. I get a call from my sister in law who tells me that they literally pulled the baby's arm out of his socket. You know, I guess it's called nursemaid's elbow.

So it wasn't the arm of the elbow and we had to leave. Terrible. His arm was in an electric socket. No, the no, the socket. The elbow came out of the socket. Oh my god, that sounds terrible. It's a quick fix, right, was an elaborate excuse to get out of seeing Chelsea that night. We really went for it. Well, you guys went off and became parents, and now you're paying the price. It's true, It's very true. Well, I love you. I hope to see you. I hope to thank you. Thank you, Dan,

thank you, Jenny, thank you, Brandon, Thank you guys. Bye bye. I okay, Well, this sounds like a good time to take a break. Um, Dan, before we sign off, do you want to say any parting words or do you have anything you want to share with our listeners. I think that the only thing I'm really interested in talking about these days is the peloton. Oh yeah, that's right. You've got a real peloton. I'm so so I have a peloton now too. And everyone won't shut the funk

up about pelotons, which is so annoying. But when you told me these are two things you made me do, get a peloton, well, I think I had no tampa. I read, and also to watch Succession because I had started it and then I stopped it, and you convinced me that I had to rewatch it and start again. And I did start again last night, and you were right, and everybody's right because the two things everybody keeps talking

about our succession and the peloton. And I want to say to the people from Peloton, so annoying to hear so many people talk about a bite and to take Cody's class and to take Hannah's class. It's just like, fuck off, fuck off. It's just it's like a cult. So now I'm resisting it. And I you know, I don't are you going to flex? What are you doing with you? I could if you don't know. You listen, think about the shaman, the shaman and the rainforest. That

guy's like not half the leader. That any of those Pelton instructors are He's probably not wrong. Have you tried the Pelton yet, Brandon? As my bell, she may have. Okay, when I'm vulnerable and like in the middle of an effort, I ironically am so inspired by these people. Yeah, and I speaking of Cody, I think I think he's hilarious. They'll say, get a sip of water, grab a towel, and get your life together. It sounds pretty gay. He's obviously gay. Yeah. I do think you should say, though,

that it is a good workout. You've mentioned why did we Why do I have to say that? Well, because for people who are interested in the Peltic, so it is. And yeah, you know you're right, Brandon. I mean I don't want to assail them. Obviously, people love it and that's great. I just don't want to hear about it so many times a day because I resist that. But that's my own issue. Again, I've tried it several times.

I've tried to take Cody's class. I tried Hannah, and I tried somebody else and I cannot get past ten. Matt Wilper's okay, and Dennis is the guy that and Dennis, so I'm gonna keep going at it. But you know. I think maybe I'm just going to have to acclimate and take some slower classes or just do the scenic rides. The only issue with some of the scenic rides is that you're riding over things that don't have a bike path.

So they take you over mountain ranges, like you're riding your bike up a mountain and there's and then you increase the resistance so that there's no path. There's no path, there's I mean, I'm just like, you know what, I can't speak to it. I'm not riding on rocks. It doesn't make sense. Sometimes I'm riding my bike over water like there's it's not the right. Anyone who's listening must know what I'm talking about. And if you don't, please

don't contact me. And if you do, please don't content. Okay, So I have added some stand up dates. I am coming to Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Grand Rapids, Michigan, Vancouver, Milwaukee, Indianapolis, Kansas City, Salt Lake City, Oklahoma City, Toronto. We just added a second show there and we are adding other second shows if your market is sold out. I'm also coming to Sydney, Australia on October five. I believe I'm coming to Brisbane, I'm coming to Melbourne, and then I'm

going to Auckland, New Zealand. You can go to my accountable page for information on social activism, or you can go to Emily's List and follow them because I have partnered with Emily's List to raise awareness for all the female candidates that they are backing, and they're all progressive women. So if you're interested in doing that, you can follow

all of those places. And there's also a Facebook group that I've started called The Orange Room, which is a private group and you have to, I guess to get in the group, you have to mention something from the book that you've read. This is a support group for anybody dealing with trauma or loss or grief, and it is really just like a really beautiful space and I've been really moved. I hop on there and send messages and respond to people, and everybody else is really supportive

of each other on there as well. And my new documentary is out tomorrow night on Netflix. It's called Hello Privilege. It's me Chelsea. Yes. It premiers midnight on Netflix and you can find me on Instagram or Twitter. Brandon. Everyone keeps asking me on my d M s on Instagram about your Instagram. No, we should just get this clear. I have no social media, I don't care about it, and we're going to keep it that way. I think that's the right decision. I didn't make it for him,

just in case you're wondering. My Bell, on the other hand, has to make her account private. She's got a lot of fans. Almost two Okay, good Night Life will be the Death of Me as a production of iHeart Radio. For more podcasts from i heeart Radio, visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.